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90 Day Fiance S12 E2 Trusting the Process · 90 Day Book Club

0:02
SPEAKER_01: The 90 Day Book Club contains adult language and is meant for entertainment purposes only.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: Hello everyone and welcome back to the 90 Day Book Club.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm your host.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: My name is Jen.
0:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm a romance writer, a reader, and a reality TV junkie.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: Let's get into season 12, episode 2 of 90 Day Fiance.
0:34
SPEAKER_01: Trusting the process.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna start out with Shay and Annabelle.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: We are back in Paducah, Kentucky.
0:45
SPEAKER_01: It is the day of Annabelle's arrival, and we see Shay getting ready to leave, cleaning up the house a little bit.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: Um, he's got his dogs there.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: He's got two huge, beautiful German shepherds, and he's trying to use one of those lint rollers to get the dog hair up off the couch.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: He says Annabelle is a clean freak.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: She does not like dog hair.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: Those are some huge dogs to have in one small space, even if it's just him alone in his bachelor pad and all his stuffed deer on the walls.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: He says, She told me she's allergic to dog hair, but she's not allergic to dog hair.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: She just doesn't want it everywhere.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: Or you could listen to your fiance and believe her when she says she's allergic to dog hair.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: That would be something.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: So he's picking her up at the St.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: Louis airport, and I was kind of surprised that that's the closest international airport to Paducah, but I looked it up.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: It's two hours and 45 minutes from Paducah.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: In his talking head, he says he's still worried about Nicole, his ex-wife, blabing everything about his uh extracurricular activities that have been going on in Paducah, many of them at the lake, while Annabelle is 8,000 miles away.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: He is so nervous waiting for her at the airport and sweating to beat the band.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: If I did not know what we kind of already know about Shay, I would actually feel a little bit uh feel feel some feelings about him, you know, think it is it's pretty sweet watching him getting emotional, waiting for her.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: But Annabelle shows up and she's really adorable.
2:35
SPEAKER_01: Uh, she seems very sweet at first glance.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, she's crying, she's very emotional, hugging him.
2:44
SPEAKER_01: She's really into him.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: Um, but they haven't seen each other in two years.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: She's very happy to see him, but she's surprised at the way he looks.
2:55
SPEAKER_01: She says in her talking head, his body is a little bit big again.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: So we didn't talk about whether he had lost weight at some point last time she saw him.
3:05
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: She says, we need to go walking, we need to go to Zumba together.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Annabelle ease him into that Zumba class because he's gonna injure himself.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: I had to stop Zumba because it destroyed my knees.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: But these are some choices to say out loud on TV about your partner, I guess.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: In their shared talking head, he says, I can't wait to get you to the hotel room.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: And she, Annabelle, actually puts her hand on Shay's groinal area and says, I can't wait to use this later.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, Annabelle.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: So they pull up to this hotel.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: I want to say church.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: I almost said church because it's a church that's been converted into a hotel.
3:55
SPEAKER_01: It's called Gothic Heights Inn, kind of on the nose, but it's a former Methodist church and now it's a four-bedroom inn.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: All right, kind of cool, kind of cool.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: And Shay's talking head, he says, the things we do might not be appropriate for church, might have to turn the Jesus pictures around.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so they go into the room and immediately Annabelle turns on the tub.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: She says, I'm not gonna touch him if he's dirty.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: A clean man is a sexy man.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: I don't like his penis to have a bad smell.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: Sure, but I feel like um Matt Sharp defrauded us in the teasers for this episode because the way it was edited in the teasers leading up to today's episode, it made it look like Annabelle was saying that he did have a bad smell about and around about his penis.
5:02
SPEAKER_01: I want to stop thinking about Shay's penis right now.
5:06
SPEAKER_01: So this bathing thing, this is a fetish, this is a kink for them, right?
5:11
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say fetish.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: I want to say kink.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: She's describing the bathing in their in their talking head for the camera, and she rubs his groin again on camera.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: What is this what's happening?
5:30
SPEAKER_01: Why are we why are we doing this on camera?
5:33
SPEAKER_01: And we're watching her bathe this man in the tub.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: Um we're we're watching her scrub him down there.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: He's in the altogether and she's scrubbing him down there between his legs.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: Mm-mm.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: Mm-mm.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: Shay says uh in his talking head, since the first time she did that, she got real comfortable with it, and sometimes I have to tell her to slow down.
6:00
SPEAKER_01: She said, he says, even if I go take a poop, she's trying to get me to go to the shower afterwards.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: She says, well, in the Philippines, you wash with water after you poo, I guess.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: But okay, to be fair, you know what?
6:13
SPEAKER_01: I am in favor of a bidet.
6:17
SPEAKER_01: I approve of bidet culture, and I wish it would become normal in the US.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: So I don't I don't blame her right there.
6:28
SPEAKER_01: She says toenails are important to me too.
6:32
SPEAKER_01: Shea says, I don't mind you clipping my toenails because I don't enjoy doing it.
6:37
SPEAKER_01: Good God, who raised you?
6:42
SPEAKER_01: Listen, every Saturday night at my house is toenail clipping night and fingernail clipping night.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: You get your toes, you get your fingers every Saturday night, just so you get a routine.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: And I just want to say to my children's future partners, you're welcome.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: I mean, hopefully they'll keep it up.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: These are basic grooming things that you just gotta do if even if you don't like doing it, you do it.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: It's just I don't who raised you, is all I have to say.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: I would just like them to cut the camera before they get to the part where Shay is singing yum yum under the covers.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Let's move on, please.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: Let's move on to something only slightly less uh painful to watch, and that is Katie and Josh, Katie with a C.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: Katie's driving Josh from the airport and singing the national anthem.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: She does not really know the words to the national anthem, which is fair.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: The words are pretty weird, and it's hard to think uh sometimes when you're still getting used to the cameras being in your face.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: It's I'm not gonna lie, it's a it's endearing the way that she doesn't know the national anthem.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Uh still better than when Fergie sang it, anyway.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: Josh calls it a remix version, with which made me laugh.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: By the way, the hero shot of them together kissing so hard, they're like eating each other's faces as sort of in sort of a jokey way.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: I kind of love it.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: Katie's got Cheeto fingers while she's driving the car, and I'm having Kalani flashbacks.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: Do you remember when Aswao took the baby out of the car seat while Kalani was driving down the interstate with her Cheeto fingers up in the air, going, What are you doing?
8:37
SPEAKER_01: You can't take the baby out of the car seat.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, poor Kalani.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Poor Kalani.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: Uh Josh is commenting the Cheetos do not smell lovely.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: And then Katie says, Well, you smell bad.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: Your breath is bad.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so in Josh's talking head, he says, Katie is the most blunt person.
8:57
SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if this has to do with her OCD, her intrusive thoughts, or if that has to do with what I think might be uh a little bit of autism, diagnosed or undiagnosed, we don't know.
9:12
SPEAKER_01: She does say some pretty wild things that most of us usually just keep in our head.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: But while they're driving, she says, I'm having crazy thoughts that we should be naked while we're driving, but wait, that's illegal.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Josh, bless his heart in his talking head, says, There's no badness in Katie.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: She's only a menace in the most comic, ridiculous sense.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: Josh is very forgiving.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: These things just roll off his back.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: He seems like a very sweet, genuine guy, which makes me even more worried about him.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he was so touched by her decorations at the hotel and her putting a stupid hat on him at the airport.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, Josh says he thinks she makes out with other people, partly because of insecurity, but also because of the rush of playing with fire.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: He says, I think she knows it's hurtful.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: And I think her heart's in the right place, and that's why I'm patient with her.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: But I could very well say, I don't like this, and here's an ultimatum where I'm leaving.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: And I hope he carries that through.
10:29
SPEAKER_01: At the hotel, he's trying to, they're cuddling in the bed, and he's trying to strike a bargain with Katie, saying that he will focus on being more committed to their relationship and being more open sexually, I think, uh, and um making sure she feels loved if she can commit to not making out with other people.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: So then they cut to a shared talking head, where I get a really bad feeling from the look on Katie's face.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, Josh starts out by talking about the intimacy and loving factor, and she cuts in and says, I don't feel loving if we're not having sex.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: She has this sad, also dead look in her eyes.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a counselor, I'm not qualified in any way to make assumptions about Katie, but she's starting to, when she has these reactions when they talk about sex, when I'm reading her face, she reads like somebody with some kind of sexual trauma in her past.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: I could be talking out of my ass, and if I need to retract that and apologize for that later, I will.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: But she just has a certain dead look in her eye that I've seen before.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: That's all I'm gonna say.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, Josh says, Well, I don't feel loving when you're playing with other guys.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: She says, looking in the camera, and says, At least they want to have sex with me.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: Josh gets very quiet and looks really sad.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: Y'all, this girl does not need to be a nine-to-day fiance.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: This girl needs to be in therapy.
12:17
SPEAKER_01: She needs to quit drinking and go to AA.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: And she needs to focus on her personal healing.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: The next morning, she's happy to announce that they had sex.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: Josh says, this morning, Josh says he just feels different, a lot less stress.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, the stress of immigration looming over him was gone.
12:38
SPEAKER_01: So that definitely played a part.
12:41
SPEAKER_01: Katie says in her talking head, it feels like things are getting better.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, in the 90 days, hopefully, in the next 90 days, we'll be more sexually compatible and ready for marriage.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Josh thinks Portland is beautiful.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: I mean, really, you kind of hit the jackpot with locations.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: You could be going to northern Alabama.
13:02
SPEAKER_01: No saying, you could be going to Paducah, Kentucky.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: You got Portland.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: So I'm happy for you, Josh.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: At least there's that.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: They're on a little walk around downtown Portland.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: It's very pretty.
13:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, they come up on a goat.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, because of course they do.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Katie tells him she's planning a welcome party tonight with her running club.
13:27
SPEAKER_01: And she lists out the people who will be there, and she describes all these names.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: There's another Josh, running club Josh, and then there's somebody named Mark Mark, who she names sort of conspicuously.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: That sort of pinged my brain a little bit with the way she said that.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: She says, Yeah, I made out with 90% of the single men in my running club.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: So the producer asks, Has any of that happened since you've been with Josh?
13:57
SPEAKER_01: And she says, Yes.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: So on the walk with Josh, he explains to her that it's a respect thing.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: It's a lack of respect that she's not, that she's making out with other guys.
14:11
SPEAKER_01: Katie says in her talking head, I don't want to do it every week and have him have to forgive me every time.
14:17
SPEAKER_01: So on their walk, she says, I will try and let you know what my headspace is before I drink.
14:23
SPEAKER_01: So later on, they're at the welcome party at my oh my bar.
14:29
SPEAKER_01: It looks like a really fun, divy little spot.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, all her friends seem very welcoming and sweet.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: We see Mark, we see running club Josh, we see Danica, Bella, and Fred.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: Um, they all seem like really nice people.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: She walks away to play darts with Danica.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: She has a little talk with Danica about the conversations that she had with Josh around sex.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: She tells Danica, I'm supposed to stop getting too drunk and seeking attention.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: Separately, Josh is having a chat with the guys.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: They ask about what his biggest culture shock is.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: He says, He's trying to be less closed off and reserved.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: He says, Americans say what they think.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: Katie is a loose canon.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: Says, I think Mark says this.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: Josh says, What do you mean?
15:22
SPEAKER_01: He says, You roll through those punches better than I ever could.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: Portland Josh says in his talking head that he thinks British Josh appears to be all in with Katie.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: He says, I'm worried she will make big mistakes.
15:40
SPEAKER_01: She can be wild.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: British Josh says in his talking head, I'm not sure if this is a situation where everyone knows something and no one is telling me.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've been in those situations before.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: They're definitely not telling you something.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: So later on, Josh and Katie are talking and he says, What were you guys talking about?
15:59
SPEAKER_01: Her and Danica.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: She says, Well, she was just checking in with me to see how I'm doing.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: And she asks, How did your chat with the guys go?
16:07
SPEAKER_01: And he says, Great.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: She says, Does it bother you that I banged them before?
16:11
SPEAKER_01: I banged both of those guys multiple times.
16:15
SPEAKER_01: And Josh says, Do you want to be with me?
16:18
SPEAKER_01: She says, Yes.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: And Josh says, Well, then okay.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: And she says, Well, I hope you guys can hang out together.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: She starts making out with Josh at the bar, and a lot of people are staring.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: And that's where we leave off of Josh and Katie for that episode.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: Let's move on to Debbie and Meato.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: We're meeting Debbie for the first time.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: She is 55 years old from New Orleans.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: She and her adorable little dog go to work at the insurance company.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: We get so much close-ups of this adorable little dog who follows her to the copy room, but otherwise sits in his little bed.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: He looks like such oh well, no, it's a she.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: She looks like a very good little girl.
17:03
SPEAKER_01: And she calls her little bit, which warmed my heart because I don't know if this is why she chose the name Little Bit, but that is what Spike calls Dawn on Buffy the Vampire's lair.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: And this always the Spike Dawn friendship, so sort of like big brother, little sister vibe, always warmed my heart.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: We spend a really long time watching Debbie do her job on the phone talking insurance.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: And then she says, Her work is pretty boring, but outside of work, her life is a lot more exciting.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: Six years ago, she took a trip to Egypt with her daughter Devin and met the love of her life.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: We get a montage of photos of Mito, who is 41, and she says he's an Egyptian movie star, an actor, a model.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: Um, but six years ago, he just so happened to be her tour guide in Egypt.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: So he's a very famous actor in Egypt, but he's also a tour guide.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: I have questions.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: But she says he's got a couple hundred thousand followers on social media.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: You can buy those.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: So the producer asked, What kind of movies has he done in Egypt?
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says he doesn't show me his work, and I don't know why.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: I've asked him to send me stuff, but he says, You won't understand what they're saying.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: He keeps telling me, I'll show you when I get there and explain it to you.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: So she says, when they first met, he annoyed me.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: He called her something cheesy like Cleopatra.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Her daughter Devin said that he's flirting with you, but she didn't believe her daughter.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden they were climbing the great pyramid of Khufu and he kissed her.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so out of the blue, he kissed her.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: That that's not good.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, later on, she's at the park walking her dog and she facetimes with Mito.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: She says, Are you nervous for your trip?
19:12
SPEAKER_01: And he says, A little bit.
19:14
SPEAKER_01: And when she says little bit, a dog little bit, sits up and looks around, like who's calling me?
19:20
SPEAKER_01: And it was cute.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: He asks her if she'll print out his headshots for him.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says he wants to be an actor when he gets here.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: A major actor.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: What if he gets here and realizes this is not the place of opportunity?
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Is he gonna be happy here?
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Uh next we see you're at home uh printing out these high gloss, full color photos.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: Girl, where can I where what kind of printer do you have at your house?
19:55
SPEAKER_01: But these kind of photos are not what I think of when I think of headshots that I think the kind that are supposed to be professional that you give out to casting directors.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: Not that I know anything about that world, but her daughter Devin sums it up and she says, these look like they were printed from Instagram, they look amateur-ish.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, so Debbie says he has lots of followers, but he never posts pictures of me.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: And he says it's because of business.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: He wants to keep his personal and his professional life separate.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: Okay, sure.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: But he does have pictures of himself with other women on Instagram.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: Her daughter is being very calm and reasonable.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: She says, I need to hear him more and see how he acts before I make a judgment.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says she worries because she thinks the relationship is gonna have to be more important than his dream of becoming an actor in the United States.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: And then she breaks down and says, I want you and your brother to look at your mom and say you're proud of me.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: And her daughter Devin is very sweet about it.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: But I have to say, as a person who carried a lot of emotional weight for my mother, that I didn't realize I was doing until I went to therapy.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: Um it's not a good thing to say that to your kids.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: But Devin is being very kind and sweet about it.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: Um, a little bit later, we see Debbie um in the morning talking to Little Bit, saying, Mito doesn't want you in the bed.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna find you your own spot.
21:43
SPEAKER_01: She explains to us that in the Muslim faith, dogs are not inside the home.
21:49
SPEAKER_01: It is haram.
21:50
SPEAKER_01: She says they consider that to be dirty.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: But Little Bit has spent every night of her life in Debbie's bed, so I I don't know how they're gonna work that out.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says, I've not shared a bat or lived with a man in 20 years.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: The dog is the least of our worries.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
22:10
unknown: Hmm.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh a little bit later, she's meeting up with her girlfriends, Astra and Laura, at Cafe Du Monde, which I was kind of surprised to see.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: I think maybe production asked them to go to Cafe du Monde because that's a very touristy spot, as far as I know.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: Astra asks about the sleeping arrangements.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: Apparently, Devin is going to be sleeping on the couch.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: And they ask Debbie, What are you allowed to do with Mito in the bed?
22:39
SPEAKER_01: I mean, she says, nothing.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: They say, No sex.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: She says, No.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: One of them asks, Is he a virgin?
22:46
SPEAKER_01: And she nods.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: They are blown away.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says he's a 41-year-old virgin and he's gonna kill me for saying that.
22:55
SPEAKER_01: They asked, Did you kiss?
22:57
SPEAKER_01: She says, Yes.
22:58
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says in her talking head, at first I thought he wasn't interested until he explained to me that he'd never been with a woman before.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: I thought it was so bizarre because where are you going to find that?
23:13
SPEAKER_01: People have told her that they don't believe that he's actually a virgin.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't either.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, in a little in the moment interview, producers ask Lau and Astra if they believe that Mito's a virgin and they don't.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: And they ask why.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: Laura says, because I'm a slut.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Yes, the 40-year-old version.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: Astra says they haven't seen each other or touched each other in three years.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: How are they not going to touch each other in 90 days?
23:53
SPEAKER_01: Laura says, I give it up on the third date, girl.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you're gonna do it.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: So Laura brings up their relationship had a rough patch when Mita was posting pictures of this other girl.
24:10
SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, the producers ask her to discuss this in her talking head.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: She says, I can't believe I have to talk about this bitch.
24:18
SPEAKER_01: She says, We broke up for a while.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: He was posting with this one Egyptian actress.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: That's his friend.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: But she says, I'm not dumb.
24:27
SPEAKER_01: I can read a situation pretty well.
24:30
SPEAKER_01: Can you?
24:32
SPEAKER_01: Ashra says she's worried the most that Debbie's gonna get hurt.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: We don't know him.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: We don't know what his agenda is.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: And Debbie's talking head, she says, I am really concerned, but people write books about stuff like this.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: I may get lucky and have the dream.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: I may not, but I also might.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: Why not take that chance?
24:54
SPEAKER_01: What books, Debbie?
24:55
SPEAKER_01: What point to the books that they write about this kind of stuff in?
25:01
SPEAKER_01: Is it romance books?
25:04
SPEAKER_01: The reason they write about this sort of thing in the romance books turning out well and getting happily ever afters is because these are escapes.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: These are escapes from reality.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, the next thing we know, Debbie is crying in front of the computer.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: She says she can't get in touch with Mito.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: His flight is tomorrow, and she says there's a strong possibility he won't be on the flight.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: It's been a couple of days since she heard from him because Mito's dad is not doing well.
25:41
SPEAKER_01: She doesn't know the diagnosis, but there's been testing.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: So he hasn't told her what's wrong with his dad.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: He's just not well.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
25:51
SPEAKER_01: And then Debbie gets another talking head where she says, Mito frequently needs breaks from people.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: When Mito goes silent, it can last two or three days.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: That's that's definitely a red flag.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: Eventually he answers her on FaceTime.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: She says, How are you doing?
26:12
SPEAKER_01: He says, Not good.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: She says, What's wrong?
26:15
SPEAKER_01: He says, Baby, you understand what's wrong.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what to say.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: She says, Did you talk to the doctor?
26:22
SPEAKER_01: He says, he will come next week.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: And he seems very irritated with her, this whole conversation.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just gonna say it, I don't buy it.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't believe he's at the hospital.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: I think this whole thing with his dad, you know, his dad might be sick, but I think he's using this as an excuse to put things off or something.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: She says, I'm not trying to aggravate you.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm just trying to be there for you.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: Mito says, I need 10 days.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says, What will be done in 10 days?
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Mito says, the doctor will come.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: In 10 days the doctor will come?
26:56
SPEAKER_01: This is very vague.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: She says, What do you need me to do?
27:00
SPEAKER_01: He says, I told you when something happens, I can't come back.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: So he's saying, if he comes to the US and something goes wrong with his dad, he won't be able to fly back and forth.
27:12
SPEAKER_01: I think maybe you can, but I don't know.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: Debbie says, Well, what if I change your ticket?
27:19
SPEAKER_01: He says, Can you?
27:21
SPEAKER_01: So in her talking head, she says, I'm concerned he's getting cold feet.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: There's always something wrong.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: And I am so tired.
27:28
SPEAKER_01: At what point do you decide what is a test of commitment and what is a sign that it's not meant to be?
27:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure where to put that anymore.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm worried he's not going to get on that flight.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: And I'm getting worried about your mental health, Debbie.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: Let's move on to Marissa and Edward.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: In this episode, we just get a very quick scene with Marissa driving home from work and then with her kids.
27:59
SPEAKER_01: Um, so she's driving in her car home from New York City.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: She's explaining that she has 50-50 custody with her husband.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh, her weekends are very busy with her boys and going to sports events, and often Edward gets angry about that and feels neglected.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: Marissa says she likes New York City, but she prefers Bluebell, Pennsylvania, where her house is.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: It is nice.
28:30
SPEAKER_01: Do normal people walk in their front door when they get home from work?
28:34
SPEAKER_01: I don't know anybody that just like walks in their front door.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Like everybody, we go to the back door.
28:41
SPEAKER_01: Everybody we know goes to the back door or goes through the garage.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but we meet Derek and Cole.
28:48
SPEAKER_01: Derek is the athlete.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: Cole is an artistic creative one.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: She says they've never met one of her boyfriends before.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: So she has a talk with the boys and asks them what they're excited about with this new change that's coming.
29:05
SPEAKER_01: And they both say, a dog.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: Apparently, she promised them a dog.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: One of them says, It's a weird reaction in my body to everything that's going on.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: One of them asks, Will he have money?
29:19
SPEAKER_01: Will he have his own money?
29:20
SPEAKER_01: And she says, Well, that's a good question because his skill set, they don't have all inclusive resorts the way that they do in the DR.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: So one of the kids asks, Will he get an allowance?
29:32
SPEAKER_01: She's that's a good question.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, she does a pretty good job of explaining the earning disparity between the US and the Dominican Republic.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: Overall, you know, I have to say, Marissa does a really good job as a mom validating her kids' um fears, a little bit of scary feelings.
29:52
SPEAKER_01: Does a much better job than I think a lot of parents do in general, either in real life or on the show.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, they said they say that they don't want Edward to replace their dad.
30:08
SPEAKER_01: And she says he's gonna be another person here to love you.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: He's not gonna replace your dad.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: Marissa says, if you guys aren't happy in any way, it's not gonna work out with Edward.
30:20
SPEAKER_01: In her talking head, she says their comfort is critical.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: She's willing to call it quits if this relationship is not working for them.
30:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna have to give her credit for that.
30:31
SPEAKER_01: Moving on to Aisha, Aisha and Maxwell.
30:36
SPEAKER_01: Hoo boy.
30:37
SPEAKER_01: Today we meet her mom Juliet in the kitchen in her pretty little moo moo.
30:43
SPEAKER_01: She asks Aisha, what are you doing?
30:45
SPEAKER_01: She says, I'm on my way to go talk to an attorney.
30:48
SPEAKER_01: Um in her talking head, she says, I'm upset, I'm enraged, and I'm angry.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: Mom Juliet says, So what happens next?
30:57
SPEAKER_01: Aisha says, an appeal is probably the best option.
31:00
SPEAKER_01: She's gonna go pick up Rod, her godbrother.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: Um, in her talking head, she explains that Rod was confused.
31:08
SPEAKER_01: She says he is stuck on the whole idea of Nigerians being scammers rather than looking at the one person who is Maxwell.
31:18
SPEAKER_01: So we meet Rod, he gets in her car and he says, So, American men, you just gave up.
31:28
SPEAKER_01: So he's not afraid to call her out at all.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: Um, but in her talking head, Asia says, as far back as I can remember, I had a list.
31:36
SPEAKER_01: I had an AOL account when I made that list.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: So you know that list is old.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: She says, Every time I saw a flaw that I did not like in a man, I added that to the list.
31:50
SPEAKER_01: She says, Honey, that list was everywhere.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: The producer says, Can you go get that list?
31:55
SPEAKER_01: So she goes and gets the list.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: And she says, and they have the words on the screen, and it's so funny.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: No smoking, no drinking, no kids, great job, has ambition, um, loves God, but not so diehard that he can't have fun.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, understanding, organized, athletic build, great lover, no big feet.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: That's an odd one.
32:21
SPEAKER_01: Wealthy, knows his purpose.
32:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay, good hygiene, and that's a given.
32:28
SPEAKER_01: Good hair, pretty teeth, really loves God.
32:32
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: She says, she had a friend whose mom said, Burn that list.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: You're never gonna get a husband with that list.
32:39
SPEAKER_01: Rod in the car says, I'm worried about your safety.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: There's so much unknown.
32:43
SPEAKER_01: What if the embassy knows something we don't know?
32:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Listen to Rod.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and Rod's in the moment, he says, Asia's biological clock is ticking, which might be why she's rushing things.
32:58
SPEAKER_01: But he does not see this as a realistic relationship.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: Asia says, I don't feel like this is a time for protection.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: This is a time for support.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: Rod says, looking out for your well-being is support.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: I wish everyone in the show had a friend like Rod.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: Asia calls it hurtful that he does not think she's wise enough to make good decisions.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: She says, Maybe the way I thought it would be done is different from what God has planned.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, I'm getting Maxwell to the US.
33:33
SPEAKER_01: So they pull up to the lawyer, and it is Love Immigration.
33:40
SPEAKER_01: That's the name of her strip mall lawyer.
33:43
SPEAKER_01: Love Immigration.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Rod says, I feel like this is a marketing scheme here.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: Uh for some reason we get another talking head with Acia saying, I do not take no for an answer.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: We know.
33:59
SPEAKER_01: So we meet Jerry, the lawyer.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: She sits down right away.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: She says, Well, I feel like my story is more special than anybody else's story because it is God ordained.
34:12
SPEAKER_01: Jerry says, Wow, okay.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: Rod is rubbing his chin and looking at the ceiling like, Lord, please rapture me now.
34:21
SPEAKER_01: So Aisha tells the whole story to Jerry.
34:25
SPEAKER_01: She says, What is the appeal process?
34:29
SPEAKER_01: Jerry says, There's not one.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: She shooketh in her talking head.
34:35
SPEAKER_01: She says, applying for the visa has taken two years of our lives and thousands of dollars from her, from him, and his family.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: So his family has helped apply for this visa.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
34:49
SPEAKER_01: She says, I feel defeated, disgusted, irritated.
34:53
SPEAKER_01: Jerry says, you could file another K1 or you could get married and file CR1, the spousal visa.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: Rod says, Well, hold on.
35:03
SPEAKER_01: She does not need to go get married to rush into this thing.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Jerry says, no, she definitely doesn't have to go get married to get this case approved and get him here.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: Rod says, so you would recommend to her that she doesn't need to.
35:17
SPEAKER_01: And she, Acia jumps in and says, Don't coach him.
35:22
SPEAKER_01: Cherry says, No, no, you're good.
35:24
SPEAKER_01: My job is to let you know what your options are.
35:27
SPEAKER_01: Aisha and Rod are having it out right there in the lawyer's office.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: She says, if you're going to be supportive, be supportive.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: Rod says, I am.
35:34
SPEAKER_01: Aisha says, that's not what support looks like.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: Rod in his talking head says, This doesn't give me an opportunity to see who this guy is.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: Like if she goes to Nigeria to marry him.
35:46
SPEAKER_01: He says, I'm her protector and I don't want her to get scammed.
35:50
SPEAKER_01: Jerry says the K1 process could be a year and a half.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: The spousal one could be two years.
35:56
SPEAKER_01: Asia says, Is there a possibility to be denied?
36:00
SPEAKER_01: And he says, Yes, it's always possible.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: She says, that's not what I wanted to hear.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: Jerry says, Well, because they had a finding of fraud in the past, they could find that again.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: She says in her talking head, I'm 38.
36:13
SPEAKER_01: My biological clock is ticking.
36:15
SPEAKER_01: I literally came to this meeting looking for answers.
36:17
SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day, I'm left with more questions.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: I truly believe and have faith in God that this relationship is going to work, but I just don't know how.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's a good place to stop.
36:34
SPEAKER_01: If you're interested in supporting the show, I'll have links in the show notes.
36:37
SPEAKER_01: Please click five stars on Apple and Spotify.
36:41
SPEAKER_01: Help me boost the signal if you like it.
36:43
SPEAKER_01: Share it.
36:43
SPEAKER_01: Tell your friends.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: Take care, and I'll see you next time when I recap episode three of season twelve of 90 Day Fiance.