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How Does a Narcissist Show You Love? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So how does a narcissist show you love?
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  How did they demonstrate the fact that they love you?
• 0:05
  How do they give love to you if a narcissist can love you,
• 0:09
  right? That's another primary question
• 0:12
  that a lot of people ask. Of course, that's what we're
• 0:14
  talking about today. And if you new here, I'm Lee
• 0:16
  Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist
• 0:18
  myself and welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:38
  Welcome back y'all, welcome back.
• 0:39
  Welcome back the podcast. The mental illness podcast is
• 0:43
  launching tune. I'm hype.
• 0:45
  Y'all can't tell that I'm excited.
• 0:47
  I'm super excited. But yes, y'all narcissistic
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  people. Can show you love in different
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  ways, right? Let's go and get that out the
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  way. I know there's a lot of people
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  going to ask the question, can a narcissist love you?
• 1:00
  I do believe, as someone that's diagnosed with MPD, that some
• 1:04
  narcissists absolutely have the capability of loving, right?
• 1:08
  I didn't say all. I didn't say most, I said some.
• 1:11
  You can take some as 49 percent, 30%, twenty percent, 1%, some
• 1:17
  not most. I feel like most is 51 and
• 1:19
  above, right? I feel like most will be going
• 1:21
  over to 50% threshold and whatnot.
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  Some can love you, some can show you love and affection and
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  things like that. But this is the mentality.
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  I truly. Believe that most narcissists
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  and most narcissists that can. Show you love.
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  Most of them. Do it through the physical, do
• 1:42
  it through physicality. They really, really get.
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  Physical with you. This is why.
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  A lot of times the love bombing phase with a narcissist
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  consists. Of them giving you things.
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  Of them giving you gifts. Of them doing things for you
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  physical things for you physical.
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  They'll give you a hug, they'll kiss you, they'll pat you on the
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  back, they'll slap the cheeks. They'll do whatever they can
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  they grab. Your private area.
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  They'll do something, come up behind you and give you the old.
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  They'll they'll big spoon little.
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  Spoon you right? That's how they show love.
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  That's it right there. It's physical.
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  They give you things. This is why a lot of times
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  they'll when you. When they break.
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  Your heart. When they do something horrible
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  to you. When they betray you in a way
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  that you never thought you would be.
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  Betrayed. That's why A lot.
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  Of times what they'll do to. Try to make up for it.
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  Is give you something right A lot of times if a man of a male
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  narcissist betrays you in some way, shape or form.
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  What they'll do? To get some type of forgiveness
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  from you. Is that what they'll do is
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  they'll give you flowers, they'll give you a ring, they'll
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  propose to you, they'll hug you, they'll kiss you, they'll sleep
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  with you, they'll do things like that.
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  They don't. Very rarely is it direct.
• 3:07
  Communication. And a deep.
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  Emotional connection, right? Think about it every time that a
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  narcissist has done you wrong and they tried.
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  To win you. Back or they did win you back.
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  What did they do? What did they do?
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  What did they come to? A did.
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  Did they come to you? From a place.
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  Of understanding they. Sit there and say, you know what
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  I understand. What I did was wrong.
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  Here's how I'm going to fix it and never make sure that I never
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  do it again. Did they do that?
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  No, most times they're not going to do that at all.
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  Most times what they're going to do.
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  Is they're going to go. Get you something that you've
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  always wanted if their finances permit them to do it.
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  They might. Take you on a trip, They might
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  tell you. That they're.
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  Going to marry you they might follow through and actually
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  marry you right they'll do something physical and does it
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  work yes it absolutely does work that's why they do it if it
• 4:01
  didn't work they. Wouldn't do it right?
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  Am I right? If it did not work, they would
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  not do it. That's why I say directly to
• 4:09
  people right there. If it didn't work, they wouldn't
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  do it. And so that's why I'm telling
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  people. Right now, right here and right
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  now, in this moment in time, if you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person and all they do is physical stuff for you,
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  you've probably. If you seek a deep.
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  Emotional connection. You're probably never going to
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  be. Happy in this relationship with
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  them. Right.
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  Never. Fully happy.
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  Let me rephrase that. Never fully happy.
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  Not the happiness that meets your needs and wants.
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  Unless you are. Just a physical person.
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  Unless you just want money and. Unless you just.
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  Want money and gifts and stuff like?
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  That and that's your love language and you don't have.
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  A deep emotional connection. You might need to go talk to a.
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  Therapist as well, right? You something's going on, you
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  know, I'm not saying you're narcissist, but I'm saying
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  something's going on. If you you know me, but this is
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  what happens y'all. They very rarely will give.
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  You the physical stuff they're typically going to do the, the,
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  the, the mix it up. Narcissistic robot mixing things
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  up. Getting things getting.
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  Information wrong. What they're actually going to
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  do. I said physical.
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  They I said they won't do the physical.
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  They will. Do the physical.
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  They'll do that type of stuff, man, because it does work.
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  And that's why you're here watching this video, right?
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  You're here watching this video. You're here listening to this
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  short version of a podcast because you want to understand
• 5:32
  the mind of a narcissist. And I don't believe that most
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  narcissists are taught this when we are, when we are being
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  raised, when we we're being reared or whatever you whatever
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  word you want to use. We don't get taught this, right?
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  This is not brought up to us in real life, right?
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  We don't get taught the deep emotional connection stuff.
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  We just get taught the physical. We read these magazines, we
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  watch these movies, right in these movies, in these
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  magazines, they sweep the the Prince Charming sweeps, sweeps
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  the the missus. Off of their feet.
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  Right, and then yes, women can be narcissist.
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  Y'all feel hopping a conversation crying but Prince
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  Charming sweeps? You off your.
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  Feet by doing. Something physical.
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  He physically. Sweeps you off of your feet,
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  right? He.
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  Physically does this, physically does that, and that's the
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  different space that so many people fall into right there,
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  right? And that's what.
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  Happens, that's what. Goes on and I take I say that to
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  say this to so many people. I'm not, I'm not saying that
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  they don't love you because so many people will just hear me
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  hear what I'm saying right now. Just you'll just fall into this
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  depression because you feel like this person never loved you.
• 6:33
  I said this is how they show love, right?
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  I said this is how they show you that they love you, how this is
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  how they show you that they could they that they care.
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  About you. But is this enough to go back to
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  them? No, don't.
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  Just don't just hear. Me say that right now because I
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  know people will get will twist my words and be like Lee just
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  said that they love me they did show me that they.
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  Love me. Why did I leave?
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  I should go back and did an abusive, toxic relationship
• 6:59
  where they cheated on me. They treated me horribly.
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  I should go back because Lee said that they show you love by
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  doing physical things. Don't go back into it.
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  I'm not telling you to do that. That's not what I'm saying.
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  If you want to go back, you are already looking for a reason to
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  go back. They didn't tell you to go back.
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  You are already looking for a reason to go back and don't put
• 7:17
  that on. Me.
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  Don't you do that? Don't you do it.
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  But seriously, that's what happens.
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  They show you that they they. I I think.
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  That some narcissists can do the deep emotional stuff or surface
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  level emotional stuff at the beginning when they're getting,
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  when they're getting you to fall in love with them because y'all
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  having these deep intellectual, deep, seemingly emotional
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  conversations at the beginning, right?
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  Right at the beginning. Towards the middle.
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  You having these conversations, you're having these these times
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  when you're connecting with each other, you're doing that right.
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  Y'all are connecting to each other deeply on a deep emotional
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  level. I promise you that you are, but
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  maybe not a deep emotional level, surface level emotional
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  type of stuff. But then.
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  Once it gets too deep. The narcissist can't survive
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  down there, right? Y'all know how?
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  My mind works in analogies, don't you?
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  I just started having an analogy right there.
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  Like once it gets too deep, the narcissist can't survive.
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  Then there's too. Much pressure just.
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  Imagine the ocean, right? I got yeah, I don't know how I
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  got on oceanic TikTok. Oh, I don't know how I got on
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  here. Facebook reals with the ocean
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  but I watched a lot of deep dive and ocean documentaries.
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  So the pressure, the deeper you go into the ocean, the the the
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  greater the pressure is right? The deeper you go into the ocean
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  the greater the pressure. So narcissist can survive and it
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  not that can't survive the deep emotional pressure.
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  They get. Waist deep.
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  Right. They get waist deep.
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  They get ball here, they get my waist deep.
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  And then they can't survive. But you.
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  You can. You can go deeper.
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  You like the? What is it?
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  Those are giant squids. You like a giant squid.
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  You can survive the deepest pressure you can.
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  Survive in the in the. Emotional Mariana Trench.
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  But very little can survive. Down there.
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  Narcissists can't survive down there.
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  They can't survive in that deep, emotional Mariana.
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  Trench, they can't go that deep. They really, truly cannot.
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  Go that deep. It's surface level.
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  We can wade, we can splash, we can tread water for a little
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  while, but we can't go that deep without some type of.
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  Without some type. Of deep therapy.
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  Without some type of deep. Psychological intervention.
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  We don't possess the. Skills.
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  Or the wherewithal. To go that deep, we can't.
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  Right, we can't get that deep, so you.
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  Can go deep. You want us to go deep.
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  You're trying to put. You're trying to.
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  Pull us out there into the. Deep water, you're like, come on
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  baby, you can swim. With me, come on here and swim.
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  And then narcissist starts splashing around like I can't be
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  out here. And they drown.
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  They don't want to drown. You see what I'm saying?
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  Oh, that's a fire y'all. What what a fire we coming from?
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  What a fire, What a heat coming from.
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  The heat. Where does?
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  The heat come from in these situations right here right?
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  Seriously, I don't know why I came up with that.
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  I I I started thinking I was like, wait, they can't survive
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  to the deep level They can splash.
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  They can do on the surface, they can do the surface level stuff
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  and they just can't go too deep emotionally and y'all get that
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  they can't go deep emotionally because they go they they do the
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  physical stuff. That's why they keep you on the
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  surface. They want to keep the
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  relationship on the surface because we can survive up here.
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  We can't survive down there with the giant squids, the giant
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  emotional impact giant squids, right?
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  We can't survive down there. We like the surface.
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  We like the. Sunlight.
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  We got to we we need. We don't have the.
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  We don't have the. Empathetic gills, we can't
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  breathe down there. We can't survive.
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  Down there. But for real, man, this is a
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  space that so many people fall into.
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  We cannot survive down there. So we're fighting and kicking
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  and clawing and scratching to try to survive.
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  But that's not the way it goes. It really isn't y'all, but yeah,
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  I do believe they do the physical stuff more often than
• 11:02
  not. Here's a gift, here's a kiss,
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  right. Here's a hug.
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  Here's my presence. Because I know I've.
• 11:09
  Said this before they use their presents.
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  To show you that they love you. I'm here, Art Na.
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  I wouldn't be I if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be here.
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  And they're not doing anything else but being there.
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  If I didn't love you, think I would pay these bills?
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  Huh, If I didn't love you, think I would marry you in the 1st
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  place If I didn't love you, think I would have kids buy you,
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  huh? If I didn't love you, think I'll
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  buy you this PlayStation, Huh. If I didn't love you, think I
• 11:39
  wouldn't spend money on you, Huh?
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  You see what I'm saying? This is where it goes.
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  This is why it's so important, right?
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  Now to understand that the. Way the wave.
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  And how this goes and how this transitions.
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  They show love through presents. I'm not saying that they don't
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  show love in other ways, but presence is going to be the
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  most, the most common way that they do this.
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  Their presence is going to be the most common effective way
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  that they show you love or they, they, they, they're showing you
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  love. You know, presence and
• 12:08
  physicality. I'm here.
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  Art. Now look what I.
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  Bought you look what I did for you.
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  It's always something that I did.
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  For you, not that I'm listening to, I don't listen to you.
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  I don't try to get deep. I don't try to reestablish an
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  emotional connection because I have the.
• 12:20
  Physical. We just did it last night.
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  You told me I don't care about you.
• 12:23
  What like mother come out here buying prostitutes and sleeping
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  with escorts? And stuff like.
• 12:28
  That like you slept with an escort last week too.
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  You care about them? No, because I had to pay for
• 12:33
  that. It's different.
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  Come on man, what we have to do right now is wake up.
• 12:41
  You got to wake. Up like I said, if you want the
• 12:43
  deep emotional connection, you're probably not going to get
• 12:46
  this for this for this person. And I know everybody is not
• 12:49
  going to leave their partner. I'm not trying to get you to
• 12:50
  leave. I'm just trying to say, hey look
• 12:52
  if you expecting. This from this person you might.
• 12:55
  Need to lower your expectations. You know what I'm saying?
• 12:58
  But imagine they also imagine that right there, lowering your
• 13:01
  expectations to be in a relationship with somebody.
• 13:09
  The silence spoke volumes though, didn't it?
• 13:11
  Anyways, y'all thank y'all so much for tuning in again.
• 13:14
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• 13:19
  right? The banner of the YouTube
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• 13:21
  Podcast. It's changed, it says.
• 13:23
  Mental illness Podcast. Now the narcissist.
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  beautiful y'all. I'm so excited to talk to
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