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Transcript

What story is your closet telling? · The Habit Lab

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: We all have areas in our life we might feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: So join me, Jenna Zint, habit coach, teacher, and follower of Jesus, as we go after little bits of better by building offensively small habits that create big impact.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Habit Lab Podcast.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome to Habit Lab.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jenna Zint.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We are going to talk about clothes in this episode.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: What, what?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, actually, I've been excited about doing this episode for a while.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, we're gonna talk about the two ends of the spectrum that I have swung between with my, I don't know if we want to call it style, wardrobe, whatever.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna talk about some of my um parents' influence growing up.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And ironically, I would say my dad had more influence on my style growing up, which is is funny.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And um, then we're gonna talk about my one of my favorite shows that I watched, which was so good.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: I wish they'd bring it back.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe I can find it on YouTube or something.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: But do you guys remember the show What Not to Wear with Clinton and Stacy?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I actually I was laughing as I was writing this episode.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I think I've actually quoted them in a sermon or two that I have done.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, this isn't just it was funny.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to think of like the the angle to take.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes we think about clothes and we think about style, we think about trendy, we think about are you cool, how artistic, maybe how much money you have, how in shape you have are, and all of those things I have gone through like phases in my life, and now I'm just perfect and arrive and have the best relationship with clothes.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm kidding.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I've been on both end of the spectrums of gosh, I was trying to think, um, almost like not caring.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Probably like in my early late teens to early 20s, like really passionate for the Lord, and in my zeal, I kind of thought clothes and caring was um, I don't know if I ever actually articulated it, but I thought it was like more vanity.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: So then not caring and exclusively like thrift store shopping and all that stuff was kind of like a badge of honor for maybe how free from the world I I was at that time.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, but then the funny part, I went to college.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I went to college in a really more preppy um town, and a few of my girlfriends at my age actually were like would pr be pretty presentable all the time, and it kind of started changing my perspective from oh, they're like, there's an there's alternatives, it's not don't care or vanity, like there's middle ground.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine middle ground?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think we kind of get stuck, a lot of people get stuck kind of in the extremes too.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to talk about what does it look like um to go, even for me, after I went from like not caring, because that was it was shallow and there's vanity to then understanding more value and how I presented myself and dressing nicer, I wouldn't say more expensive, just like nicer.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I went probably when we started making a little more money, um I started carrying a little too much.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I would like shop and track trends and all the things.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So now reflecting probably the last five years, it's actually kind of funny, as I have gone on this like habit journey, I found myself more in the middle, and I feel frankly, I probably feel the freest that I have felt, even on either extreme.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess isn't that true for most areas?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm gonna talk about it.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: The question is like, what story is your closet telling?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, obviously we're talking about clothes, but I think this episode is like is actually way more about clothes.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was pondering and trying to like get some of my thoughts together, and I think it's actually it's about habits, it's about identity, it's about reducing friction, it's about dignity, actually.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was interesting.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was really the message growing up in my home that my dad would communicate.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like be this style or wear this, but it was like his messaging was always our clothes don't give us value, but they reflect the value we have for ourselves.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like matching, oh, I feel a little teary.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: He did a really good job of this.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Matching our external worlds with our internal worlds.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like, so it's like our our our clothing choices, we are clothing ourselves in dignity.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it was it was stunning because again, we did not have a ton of money.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like that, but it was like a we don't wear, you know, if something has stains, we retire it.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: We can we can iron our clothes, we um it's we care.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is how like our clothes are an extension of how we care for ourselves without making ourselves the center of our, you know, like without being becoming entirely self-centered.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that is actually more of the messaging I want to look at when I look at when we're talking today about like what story is your closet telling?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is it one of uh it reflects the confidence that you feel internally?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is it one of someone who believes they have value?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is it one of someone who's not hiding?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is it one of someone who um has their external world match the dignity of their internal world?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the big one of the biggest misconceptions probably is that there's you know only two options either you're obsessed with appearance or you don't care at all.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, I've lived at both ends of the spectrum.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, I think the middle freedom is where it's it's the most freeing, the middle, the middle ground.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's see.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was just trying to think if I missed anything.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I do, I one of the the things that was so helpful when I went to college is watching some of these women around me.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they were like 19 to 23, but still, who they liked clothes, but they weren't shallow or materialistic or about brands, and it was not like a competition of like who dressed better.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was um clothing, it was almost like a few of them were pretty artistic and they loved beauty in general.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like they love that one was a ballerine and one was a like outdoors, loved nature, and it was like their relationship with clothes reflect their love of beauty in other areas.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't exclusively here, but I was like, oh, is the first time that I felt really free um to appreciate style without like I saw people appreciating style with making it their whole identity, and I was like, okay, I think this equation that I've been caring about, if you care, you're vain and you love the Lord less.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, maybe there's there's gotta be some other options.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: But then I got sucked in, like I said, when we had more money.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was funny, it was kind of like a slippery slope where I like went to the other end of the spectrum.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's like Pinterest was exploding, Instagram, you know, influencers, and suddenly I would be like researching and and tracking things that I wanted and noticing what was on trend and then pinning it on wishboards and gosh, making lists.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew like ahead of I mean it's six months out what I wanted for Christmas or my birthday, or when we get bonuses, or I was self-employed, and if big orders came in, I already knew what I wanted to spend it on clothes-wise, because it was like I was researching that perfect jacket that we complete, or those shoes that I don't I don't quite have yet.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um gosh, wondering if this from last year or two years ago is actually just too dated and it's embarrassing.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe everyone's embarrassed that I'm still, you know, like all those things.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because I don't think we ever purposely end up there.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I what was a big like I didn't make a choice to go from not caring to then those women in college who exposed me to like, oh, like there could actually be beauty, and um, if you love beauty and creativity, your clothes can expect that or reflect that, to then to the other end where I slipped into the like man, it was almost I think even too with as a young mom and not being able to get out as much, it was almost an escapism to like dream or have a dopamine hit as well.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: But it meant that I was like aware when American Eagle, Airy, um, old Navy Target, I'm trying to think of other crocs, do love a good pair of reefs, uh, when they had their sails because I was like waiting.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was like so much time invested in this.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then it just kind of hit me.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, man, this is not where my treasure, maybe I'm not critical of other people, maybe I'm not, you know, um, I don't know, trying to oversimplify it.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, but I want this is taking too much time.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is stealing from me in a way that I don't, I don't want to give it.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to, it almost became a hobby.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't want to keep spending my evenings researching trends or man, chasing influencers' recommendations.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to switch and I've like slowly over the last five years, like gone from that extreme, you know, not caring in college, to like, oh, there's like a middle ground to giving it way too much time to this like middle ground of um what is my goal?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I want my clothes, I want clothes that fit my body, I want clothes that fit my budget, I want clothes that fit my personality, and I want clothes, like a wardrobe that fits my actual life rather than my imagined one.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but there'd been times where I'd have so many, like I'd have a couple fancy dresses because I'd hold on to things or I'm not sure where I'm gonna wear this again, or this would be great on vacation.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I don't find myself randomly on a yacht in the Caribbean with that perfect beach cover-up that screams money, old money.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, that's not my actual life.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stop hanging on to these things and actually make the story my closet is telling is what reflected in my actual life.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and now my closet it is accessible, it's not extraordinary.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't have as many like man, because I used to chase, like I said, tons of research and be like, this, this is stunning.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is a statement piece.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: If I have a statement piece, it's probably because I inherited it from someone else.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I just it's not practically the story I'm telling anymore with my clothes.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not like I'm against them.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't actually think I think people can wear bright colors and statement pieces, and uh it doesn't mean vanity, but I think for me, the amount of time and effort I've put into those statement pieces, I'm like, ah, it's no longer worth it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like my value has changed, and I don't want to put the work into getting them.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the cool part is now my wardrobe like actually could fit for most moms.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Most someone I'm like a teacher, teach at my church, teach at, you know, could fit for coaches, could fit a woman living like a fair, pretty fairly ordinary life.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not dressing for the one runway.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not hoarding outfits for that dream vacation that I could wear one day.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: My closet's not full of, um, we're gonna get into this a little later, but clothes that used to fit me, or I hope they fit again, or maybe one day when I lose the weight.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm actually dressing for coaching appointments.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: My ideal outfit in my wardrobe, like now when things have to make it into my wardrobe, I could put them on at 8 a.m.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: and wear them for coaching appointments, then wear them for school pickups, then teach that class at church tonight and have coffee with a friend, and it all applies and it's comfortable enough that I'm not waiting to get rid, you know, like to take to change out of any of it.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, that that is the gold standard for me now.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's required, it's um presented itself in like a healthy relationship with clothes, not neglect, not obsession, not hyper consumerism, not trying to prove something.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's just kind of like our effort with our closet is just enough attention, like intention that my clothes support my life instead of competing with it.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like either way, with like not having ones and like clothes that properly reflect my worth or value, dignity-wise, or having clothes that are like too outlandish for pickup, and I'm like trying to get out of these jeans or these high heels, like, oh, actually, no, it's that in that middle, like the quietly support is really the sweet spot for me.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, my question for you, like I said, I was I've been on both ends of the spectrum.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Do you tend your closet, thinking about your closet, thinking about your clothes?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do you tend to think about your parents very little?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Is it like one of the last thoughts?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, do you tend to think about it all the time?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Were you like me where you had things tabbed and waiting for the sales?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, are you somewhere in the middle?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Has the answer changed depending on the season of your life?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've found that to be true often.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like if there's a a career shift or stay-at-home mom, like a season shift.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, mine definitely has, but I think the the goal is not to, oh my gosh, me asking you these questions, like there's a problem, or my relationship's terrible, or I need to do something, or do something instantly.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's just noticing to be like, oh, actually, I think I should put a little bit more effort to have like I had a season shift and my wardrobe never or my closet no longer reflects.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: I have like two things, but they don't, that's not enough to actually I can't pull out my business casual anymore for little mom life.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: But having just two pairs of sweatpants, no jeans that fit is also not supporting my season.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: So just starting to think like, where on the spectrum are you?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Are you out of date with this season, or does your closet actually re support the life you have now?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my dad, like I said, he influenced me a lot growing up with this.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And his, again, his wasn't girls should wear dresses or be more feminine.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: It was more his message was actually truly sorry, it's pretty simple, it makes me laugh.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was just one of dignity.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: He'd be like, Um, my last name was the Jenkins.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: We always brush our teeth before we leave.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: We can brush our hair, we don't wear pajama pants out in public, we are not sloppy, and if our clothes are wrinkled, we take the time to iron them because we it was like the idea behind it.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: That would that would be like his general list.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you had there's no nothing crazy there, but it was the the last bit from me was like uh he would kind of say something like, We could always take 10 minutes to put a smidge of effort into not being sloppy or to look like we just rolled out of bed.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it was funny because he so he was a teacher, but he worked um waiting tables in the summer months with often with college students, and it was from watching how they rolled in that he was like, Oh, I need I need to emphasize that these are negotiables.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And he would say, because sometimes he'd be like, Well, I didn't have time done.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Well, then we get to figure out how to add 10 more minutes to our morning routine so that you like how you're presenting yourself reflects your value.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Okay, okay, it's not keeping up with his, you know, his point wasn't keeping up with his Joneses, his point was respect, and he believed that when we presented ourselves with care, not because we're trying, this was big, we were not trying to earn value, but we were trying to, it was our clothes, how we presented ourselves showed, reflected the value we already had.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was like congruent.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Our external world was congruent with our inner internal world, and it really shaped me.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because it's such a simple list, but I was like, oh, and there's a massive, there's a massive difference between vanity and dignity.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Vanity kind of more asks, like, how can I get people maybe to notice me, or is this cool enough?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, whatever.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: That would be more vanity focused.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: But dignity is more um, how can I show up as someone who respects myself?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or sometimes I think with my outfit, like what I'm choosing, I'm like, does this reflect the confidence that I feel?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one's trying to gain worth vanity, the other is living from worth, and that would be dignity, and they're completely different motivations.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it makes me wonder sometimes.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: So that was like the messaging my house growing up with my dad and my mom.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: My mom would always be like, Don't be afraid to be different, don't go to Walmart and buy things.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now the irony is that I buy so many clothes from my Walmart grocery delivery and then throw in that dress too.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, um, my question for you to reflect is what was the messaging you received at home growing up about appearance and clothes?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Did your family care a lot about how you looked?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe did they hardly care at all?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Was appearance more equated with performance?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because then you can get a bad taste in your mouth, you know?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or was it about respect?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Was it not talked about?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Did it feel like your parents didn't know what they were doing?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: So they didn't feel like they had tools to hand you.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and just starting to notice and wonder like I don't think in this podcast episode you're gonna get to the bottom of it, but I think the idea would be like thinking about some of those messages you got growing up and wondering, are they still serving you today?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just simply, simply there.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we're gonna transition.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about what not to wear.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all, I cannot be the only person who watched this after school reruns.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was on, I think it was on TLC.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I I used to watch, I mean, I watched it at first because I loved the makeovers.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was 30 minutes.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember if it was 30 minutes or an hour, but like a great dramatic before and after.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, TLC was perfect at it, whether it was a house or a room.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you remember trading spaces?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And they'd do their neighbors' room.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: What not to wear was kind of like that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: They would nominate someone, actually, it was a secret nomination, and they would come and surprise them and they give them like$10,000 to do a whole new wardrobe.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: But the older I got, because it was on for quite a few years, I realized it was more than about the clothes.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like the clothes actually were not as much the point and almost like pretty similar, maybe.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to think.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but every episode, what I loved was it told the story about someone, most of the time why they got nominated, who had quietly stopped kind of taking care of themselves or believing they mattered, or yeah, it was all correlated to this internal work.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then Stacy and Clinton, like after they would, you know, surprise them, tell them they want a wardrobe, but the catch is that they'd have to get rid of all of their clothes, and they would take them in like a 360 mirror and they'd have them try on something in their outfit and explain why they would wear it.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so often the people would say, like, it just makes me disappear.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be seen, or I've stopped, I don't have time to care for myself, my family gets my energy, or my body's changed so much that I'm just hiding until I get back there.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was so much, it was like so-zo moments, and then they would interrupt them, the two hosts, and they would literally get really deep and like, oh, I feel teary.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like they would talk, they'd almost like address the lies the person was believing about their worth, value, dignity, and show how their clothing was like kind of cementing that, or vice versa, whatever.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then often most episodes there were tears as the people realized that and were like, okay, I'm ready to do something about it.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it was beautiful.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: I loved that it was that's the heart of the show was not these, not actually just the clothes they bought, but the internal transformation where they realized their wardrobe reflect reflected the worth they thought they were, and then deciding they wanted to go after almost like valuing themselves more.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a lot of the stories were like women who had spent take years taking care of everybody else, or someone who'd gone through a divorce, or oh yeah, someone who was grieving, a lot of people who gained weight, uh people who were hiding, whether it was like not just a weight thing, but a confidence thing.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's cool because the the makeover was not magical because the clothes, but the clothes would make visible evidence that they were someone who was bel worth caring for again.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and it was so profound and has stayed with me for years because of course, going back to this idea kind of like dignity, clothes don't determine our worth a hundred percent, like no doubt, but over time they often usually do give us some evidence, a reveal what we believe we're worth.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because sometimes if we've gained weight or we just don't like our bodies now, we would say, like, no, no, I it's almost like you're you know that's not true, but in your current holding pattern, you're gonna stay here until you get back there, like back to where it's worth effort or care or money.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, ah um so even just revealing that, but I would I do want to add an important disclaimer.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes, it's not about judging the people.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: So that was one of the things that they never did.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if someone is postpartum or depressed or grieving or has a financial hardship, it wasn't about again being like, how could you have gotten here or judging them for surviving?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was it wasn't about being like, oh, you're in sweatpants and you've stopped brushing your hair, you've given up or you've cared.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like there weren't any judgments or assumptions like that, but it was noticing when people had gotten maybe stuck in their seasons and realizing on the long in the long run our outward habits do become like little wind windows kind of into our in inward beliefs.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: And is that is probably the base, like the base of this whole episode is does that reflect who you are, like what your beliefs are, like what you would say about yourself?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes our head knowledge and our heart knowledge are different, and it's interesting because your wardrobe can often reflect maybe beliefs you wouldn't say because you know they're not wrong, or you know they're wrong, but they are accurate to how you believe.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it was so good when Stacy London would consistently, she was the host, would she encourage women to stop waiting for a different body before dressing the one they had, and like rewind when this show was on, I was like teen, college, you know, whatever.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you know, mom of three forty, I'm like, oh, I get it.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: How as things fluctuate, whether it's 10 pounds.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or 20 pounds and those jeans that used to fit that were name brand, and now they don't.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: We don't go out and buy, you know, so many women, I know I'm not alone in this, don't want to buy new clothes or invest.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: One, because it's almost like they're giving up.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea she kept she kept going back to like, you cannot wait to lose the weight or change your season or whatever.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: You need to start dressing and investing and caring in the body you have now.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: What what it doesn't mean is that you have to spend tons of money.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the difference.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get to some of my practical tips in a second, but that message really stuck with me.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Dress the body you have today, not the one you hope to have six months from now.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or even waiting.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'll hear people who are waiting to get to a weight to then invest.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like a reward, but I'm like, oh, it's almost the opposite is kind of like it's punishment then.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like at my current weight or size, I'm not worth investing in.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, oh, are those just noticing some of the maybe unspoken or unarticulated beliefs we have around our wardrobe.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And realizing that like having clothes that fit you the body you have now is an act of respect, not resignation.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like almost it felt like if I buy clothes, like a lot of women would be like, that means I'm giving up or I'm not gonna try to lose the weight or get healthy, whatever.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna put words in their mouth because there's hundreds of episodes.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: But this idea of like it's not resignation, it's loving the body you have now, even while you still go after growth or change or whatever that looks like.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what do they always talk about?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: They would say, clothes help you express who you are rather than hide you who you are.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's so good.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about performing, but it's not about pretending, and it is also about showing up and how sometimes it's just easier to feel like in our brains, like feel invisible.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, that's actually not who you're created to be.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are not, you're not meant to be invisible.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um so my question to you if someone were to look at your closet right now, what story would they assume about your season of life?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: And would it be accurate?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is your wardrobe supporting the life and the body that you currently have today and the life that you're living today?
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it still waiting for a different season?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have to say that, you know, we don't want your identity does not come from your appearance, but also not pretending your appearance doesn't matter at all.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like health is usually found in that middle, and that's true too.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: So my question for you would be to just start to notice if you feel like you've stalled out and haven't bought or invested clothes or don't enjoy your closet because you don't like your body currently.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, that would be some good work because your body currently is is serving you.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I actually go through these seasons where, like right now, currently, this Jenna that's recording this episode is about 10 pounds up from maybe she was 10 two years ago.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: But when I start getting more hyperfixated on that and what my old clothes fit like or don't fit like, I go through in the morning, I just have this list of gratitude for the ways that my body's functioning.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's no pain when I walk.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I um rode a bike today and my lungs work perfectly.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then I ran after I rode my bike and my I have no pain.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: I actually felt amazing.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, so two things are true.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe my body's not entirely where the health version of what I would say health I'd like, but then also I'm so grateful for my body.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: So the point of how this ties into clothes is that when I start noticing just being maybe disappointed in my body, I'm like not making like withholding a good wardrobe that I feel confident enough in until my body looks different.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then practicing almost like the appreciation that I do have for my body, even if I'm at a different if it's different, if it's in the middle, if it's not done, you know, as well.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go through and actually make a regular habit of practicing like appreciation for my body and all the things that it does.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna get the practical, those are kind of like big picture things that have really helped me decide like what what effort do does my cloth my wardrobe, my clothes get for me and why it matters versus pretending like it's not or being obsessed with it.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I just made a basic list, okay, of an autumn in true habit fashion of things that I've kind of automated.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: I do not have a capsule wardrobe.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think that this is where this is going, I wish.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not good enough about narrowing it down.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely have a lot.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: I purge dramatically every season.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't do, I'm not, I'm not on top of it ever.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not wanting to do spring, fall, winter, summer.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Usually my it's like warmer clothes and cooler clothes.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the two wardrobes I have.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: And every time I do switch, my goal is to give away at least two bags of clothes.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I like to keep it purged where I'm not overwhelmed.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that feels helpful.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that would be one thing is sometimes I notice that people won't get rid of things whether they like it or they're sentimental.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: But if your wardrobe practically feels like if your closet is actually hard to navigate, you you will be unsuccessful.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that would be your first habit.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So that was one of my habits.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the second one, so again, like I said, not capsule, but I have automated a few things.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so my goal no longer is now that I'm I know in the last couple years, when I've kind of gotten more to a healthy middle that really works for me, is I'm actually not trying to be trendy.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I'm laughing because like my early 30-year-old self would have like gasped a little bit, like, no, ha.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I've realized like it's not giving up because I actually want to be again with this dignity mindset being part of my like goal.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be presentable and confident and feel beautiful, but trendy is the quick fleeting, I don't know, something I'm trying to chase and I don't have time for anymore, so I'm okay.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: So like good enough is put together, is actually more how I describe my uh goal for clothes.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I don't even know if we can call it style, but a couple things that I've automated that really helped me for looking put together is I actually have the same jewelry.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: I do have um, I have a forever necklace, which if you don't know about it, lots of places have them.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: They're just like gold chains and they they do weld them on you.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: That sounds more dramatic than it is.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: It takes like five seconds.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: I have one of those, and then I bought they actually have so many options now of like gold plated stuff that specifically says it's water resistant and tarnish resistant.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they're usually around$50.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm not gonna do a bunch of links because I would feel like that would be kind of counter what the message of this podcast is.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: But this idea of like, I used to have chunky necklaces and and really fun earrings and I would swap all the time, but it was just took so much time that I was like, I think jewelry is actually helpful in feeling um more elevated and put together and stylized, but to change it is no longer that energy is not what I have.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I have, like I said, those two necklaces.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: I actually have um the same pair of earrings.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have my ears pierced twice, but I have these basic, they're square ones.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I've had the same earrings in for two years.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually had, I've bought every like so I've had to, this is my second pair, I think, because they broke after a year, but a year for$12 Amazon earrings is a great price.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I've loved them so much because I call them my goal with jewelry is like everyday basics that no one's gonna notice or compliment, but it just makes the whole whatever I'm wearing.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: It literally I jog in this, I exercise in this, I wear this to church, I wear this to weddings.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: There is no in-between.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: I just have the same jewelry on all the time.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but these earrings I love so much.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually given them for a year.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Every single friend's birthday party I went to, I gave them these earrings because they're forever.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I now have probably dozens of friends that wear my earrings that we all wear at the same earrings because they really are that great of basic.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I have a couple bracelets.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I have a$12 Amazon bracelet and then my watch, and then I have um four rings that are truly like$12 Amazon rings that I just sleep wear.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: I never take off because it's instant elevation.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the next thing that really was like a little automated system of looking put together, again, not trendy, not crazy winning style awards, just put together was belts.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this is hilarious.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I literally actually am wearing a pair of like black shorts that are, I don't know what fabric it's maybe like gosh, I don't even know.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: But they're not super tight, they're not jeans.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: They would kind of be maybe look dress panty, but they're really more like polyester.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd say they're like sweatpants.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're as comfortable, they're so comfortable, they're as comfortable as any, I don't know, athletic short.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what my caveat is even if I have so I have long pants like this too, I loved they're really as comfortable as sweatpants, but if they have belt loops on them, I put belts on them because it belts are the next secret winner winner chicken dinner way to the easiest way to elevate.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the funny part is I used to have a ton of belts.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I got rid of all my belts, and then finally I was coming back to like actually I want a little bit of elevation.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: I got a three-pack of belts on Amazon three years ago.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: It has a black one, a brown one, and a leopard one.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I literally wear them almost daily.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I've just been at home today, but in my little shorts, I've worn my belts around because I'm like, great.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we've done a lot of play dates, and um, I just instantly look like I'm like, oh, if I open the door when the mom's dropping off their kid, I can trust this woman.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: She is not crazy.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: No kidding.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: But you're you'd be surprised at the power of a belt.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: But again, the the point is it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're all the options or none.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, belts and jewelry are some of the easiest um ways to like increase your wardrobe without actually more effort.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna sound really funny.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing I do is I sleep with a ridiculously high ponytail.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not just a ponytail with like a I specifically have a scrunchie so that it doesn't leave that weird crease, girls know.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I do a high pony because then my hair looks awesome when I let go of it.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's got like volume, it hasn't been matted all day.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: People are shocked to find out that like I just took it out of the pony and left.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I would say that is like my biggest uh secret with my hair.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: My husband calls it my Cindy Lou Who pony.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's not it's not hot, y'all.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say that for when I'm going to sleep.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's look terrifying.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't have to do my hair most, you know, lots of mornings because this high pony kind of acts like my version of a do-rag, and I'm not messing up my hair all night.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the next thing that was a game changer for me is I actually wear a ton of very casual dresses because dresses hit that middle ground where I could go from teaching to school pickup to play play date at the playground, and it's so comfortable, but I look, it's like I honestly think casual knit dresses are the best kept secret for comfortable but looking a little bit more elevated.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I would say, especially in the summer, even while if I'm like I said, I'm a smidge over the weight maybe that I would prefer, like my normal weight, dresses are the best because I just people just assume you're put together.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: And instead, I literally I had to stop this, but people would be like, You look so put together.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: And like secretly, I'd be like, No, it's just a dress.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like, I just fooled you, and they'd be very confused.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I tricked you, it's a dress, and they're like, We we know that.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, it's actually more comfortable than if I were wearing jeans, jean shorts, and a t-shirt.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: But you think I look better, but I don't.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then I realized no one needs to hear that.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I would say that casual dresses.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I have I have ones that are t-shirt material.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: I have ones that are I love a denim dress, but it's like flowy, so it's not not everything's comfort.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: Comfort is king.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite pieces look nicer, but are actually as comfortable as sweatpants, but look nicer in general, whether it's these shorts I'm talking about or or long pants that have belt loops but are actually secretly sweatpant material.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I am here for it if I can make it look more elevated but be comfortable.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, that that is my style.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so then I casual dresses, I actually during the summer probably wear dresses.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh let's say 70% of the time.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's like a hack.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they're they're flowy, so they're not sweaty, and I don't really look it, they're mostly cotton and gosh, y'all.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've got I usually probably add two a year to my rotation because they're that awesome.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I got a denim one from Walmart this year, and it was like a cute A-frame little dress, and I have worn it non-stop.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like by the end of the summer, it's been my wardrobe.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of usually what happens is the one or two casual dresses I get every hotter months are my wardrobe for the summer, but then I always get compliments, and I've learned to stop saying um that I tricked you, it's just a dress.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the the plot twist.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: This next one goes hand in hand with the really casual dresses and wearing them just all the time.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: Target, oh sorry, other places I get dresses, Target and um Truly old Navy.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten I think three of the dresses that I've worn.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um oh, Ross, TJ Maxx.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: They have a good, I don't ever usually spend more than$25 on a dress.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I said, because I only get a few and I I really don't want them to be, I want them to be comfortable and casual and not look expensive.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: I would say one hack that I have found is I always have a fancier dress, like a dress I could wear to a wedding that fits me in every size that I'm at.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if I don't want to have one for my current size, I will find one on clearance periodically.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I I never, if I have a wedding or have something to go to, I do not get a new thing.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: I have something that fits me and I just throw on that thing.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I may be like this past summer, we've gone to quite a few weddings, I have worn the same dress to every wedding.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm so grateful I have it on hand and I got it on clearance.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're just casually looking for it, you can usually get one at Ross or TJ Maxx that's under, you know, doesn't have to be in the right season, and you just keep one in your wardrobe that fits you.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'd say this is different if you're like, but you said, does your closet reflect the life you live?
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: Having one wedding dress or dress that you could wear to a wedding um is totally relevant.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that I would say the caveat is that it fits you now and you like the way you look in it versus holding on to something.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: That would be the difference.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but oh, my second hack that has really been a game changer under my casual dresses, I went on Amazon and I got biker shorts.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not like actual biker shorts you could wear, but almost like, let's just say they could be like underwear, they're like thin, whatever, but they were, I've gotten a few, I think I got another round this year.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have probably seven pairs.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're literally just black, but they come right above my knee.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: So regardless of the si length of dress that I'm wearing, I'm never scandalous.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you know me, I mean, like if you know, if you've tried to shop and you're 40 something and you're a mom, some of these dresses are adorable and they're way too short.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: So the biker shorts has actually eliminated uh not having to worry about like, hey, am I seated at a meeting or am I chasing my kids at the playground?
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: My casual dress still works because I have my secret biker shorts.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually just wear them under every single dress that I have because um I never have to be thoughtful about kiddos, or it helps, it almost helps, like I said, like my goal would be to be able to have my outfit that I wear at 8 a.m.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: work all day, and the biker short hack is actually one of the ways.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: Next one, um, yes, I wear t-shirts or sweatshirts, but I actually don't do sloppy like ones.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: I usually, even if it's a t-shirt or a sweatshirt, I look for ones that have buttons or collars, and you're totally gonna laugh.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: I have I have a sweatshirt or two with a hoodie that maybe I've been given, but outside of camping, actually, I don't even I'm packing to go camping this weekend and I'm taking collared and buttons shirts, so maybe this is true.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it it just instantly, I would say this is the game changer.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: If belt loops for pants that were actually made out of sweatpant material is the game like the secret hack, I would say t-shirts or sweatshirts that have collars and buttons is the secret hack to being slightly more elevated, but still being comfortable and casual.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: So man, old navy hasm, target asm, it's pretty easy to find.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't get usually I don't get any crew neck or hoodies because I can be as comfortable in a sweatshirt or a t-shirt, but look a smidge more elevated, and then you throw a belt on that sucker and girl, you're ready to go.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just kidding, but actually that's could be described most of my winter wardrobe.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and again, I think the idea that most people don't realize, because I thinking like how so raised or like my dad honed, we don't do sloppy, we can always do a bit of effort.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people think you either are put together and uncomfortable, or you're comfortable and sloppy-ish.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually praise the Lord we live in 2026 because there are so many things.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I do not buy uncomfortable things, but I don't buy sloppy, comfortable things.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: I find um comfort and looking put together can coexist, and that's kind of the barrier to entry to be in my wardrobe at this point.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: The next hack that I do is layers.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Whether again, not as many statement pieces, but gosh, throw a denim jacket.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have one denim jacket that I've, it's like longer, it's almost like a shirt material.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have a black one, I have a blue one, I have one blazer, um, I have some button-down collars or like um, you know, sweaters.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing revolutionary, but it's shocking how much, just imagine you guys, if you put on layers, even if it's like a tank top under it, or I have um layered shirts.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, if they had buttons and then you put a layer on it.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: I actually worked with fabrics for a really long time with my turbans for tots business, and um texture solids are like the best staple pieces in wardrobes because they look a little more elevated and wealthy, and then layers on top of it.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: So just imagine you have those sweatpant-ish long pants on, but you have a belt on, and you have all the jewelry that you slept in the night before.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: No one needs to know.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have a cute little t-shirt.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's a t-shirt, but it has a collar, and over that collared t-shirt and um jewelry and belt, you have a cute little over jayer.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's a denim jacket.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, you instantly look a little more put together, and you're just as comfortable if you had put on a huge sweatshirt and sweatpants.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is cheating, y'all.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is cheating.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but anyways, I do think layers elevate almost any outfit.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: One of my friends gave me a bunch of um like get handed down some coats, this like trench coats, and and I wore them all summer or all winter long.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: I had just and I got so many compliments.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, man, layers are such a cheat sheet because I'm not really doing anything.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've just got really basic things under here.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: But with this elevated coat, you think I'm put together, but it's so comfortable.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, lastly, I would say those are my big literal hacks.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I don't buy a ton anymore.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: I buy a few pieces, attentional pieces every year.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my favorite are finding dresses or clothes that are comfortable, good mom length, versatile enough to go from church to school pickup to a friend to the park.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, most of my wardrobe, like I said, is from Target to G Max or Walmart.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, what we started do, and this is my last practical tip with what is your what story is your closet telling.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to remember my actual thing, um, is that started talking to friends about looking through their hand me-downs before they give them away.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it feels a little awkward, but y'all, that's this is probably big one of the biggest game changers, shifts in me not spending as much money or effort trying to find things, is there's a few friends that I just really like their style and I would say, like, hey, um, when you clean out your closet next, if um I would could I get dip before you run to you do a goodwill run, could I like look through your hand-me-downs?
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes with certain friends who like maybe feels more uncomfortable than like, you know, someone you're really close with, and they'd be like, sure.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, then I would say, and I'd be happy to take them to goodwill for you.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you just tell me when you have a goodwill um drop, I'd love I'd grab them, see what I'd like, and then I can take the rest to goodwill.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: It feels what it's not doing is being presumptuous, like, hey, can you give me your clothes?
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's setting the stage for something you already do.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is a normal part of like our culture, but instead of directly to goodwill, I'd love to see if there's anything that you want in there, and then I'll do you the favor, like, it's not adding anything logistically to them.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: That has been a game changer.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: I have like four or five friends who do that pretty consistently, and I do that to other friends pretty consistently, and it's been this beautiful recycling of clothes, and then like I said, it saved me so much time because I'm not hunting or researching.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, great, that trench coat that my friend gave, who's you know, three or four inches taller than me, um, would not have been the exact size or color I took, but it's been awesome, and I've worn it a ton because I didn't pay for it and it cost me no money or time to find it.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, that's that's where I feel like I have the freedom now.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: So that would be the last point I'd love practical in this practical section is considering and changing the culture.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: To be fair, like I was one of the first people who've done it.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not like because sometimes people think, oh Jenna, your friendship group's different.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, guys, it is it is a smidge awkward and vulnerable to do it to anyone, but now it's started this uh culture over the last few years, and lots of people do it.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: So um it's such a casual thing.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: So again, I'm gonna say, if you're thinking if you just want the actual script, it's hey, um, I love your style, and I was wondering the next time you do a goodwill when you clean out your closet for a goodwill run.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: Any chance I could come look at your bags uh through your purge before you donate to see if um to to see if there's anything I could grab from your donation pile.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: So again, all that language, super chill.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some people don't remember, some people do remember, but it feels like really low stakes, and you can create this new culture of clothes and closet sharing.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: So instead, like none of those rules, that's my practical section, are crazy groundbreaking.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: None of them are expensive, none of them are really trendy, but put together a bunch of those little decisions.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: One, have removed friction from my morning.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't spend more than most of the time now, 20 minutes, on what to wear.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um Um, because my closet is like tools that are ready to go versus like, I don't know, style statements I'm making, if that makes sense.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I forgot one other thing that I here have here.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I said I have a always have a um, like we're saying, not waiting for to dress to have clothes that for the body that you're in.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: I do that with one wedding dress, you know, like a dress that I could wear to a wedding, because whether it's a wedding or something nicer or whatever, it just feels usually could fit the bill.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I always have jeans and a bathing suit that fit me in every season.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the beautiful part about Ross or Walmart is um, like last year I had a size up in my jeans, I bought like three pairs, but I did not spend more than$15 or$20 on each pair of jeans.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I again going back to that all or nothing, like sometimes if people have, you know, had a season where they had expensive clothes and they're not that size anymore, they think like, oh, I don't want to go spend clothes that much money on clothes, you know,$150 on a pair of jeans that I don't want to wear for very long.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, totally, but ha that's you don't have to spend$150 to still have a pair of jeans that you like in your body currently.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: So having jeans, a dress, and a bathing suit at every season that you feel good enough in is super important.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I would absolutely recommend doing that regardless.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your body's worth it.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can spend less than 20 bucks.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: It does not have to be designer, but having something on hand that you're re like there's like a confidence correlation versus I'm trying to hide, I hope no one notices.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: What's the main thing?
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I did have a question.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: The couple questions I had after this section for you was what part of getting ready now, like when you get dressed, when you go into your closet, feels maybe unnecessarily hard?
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, like the jewelry, switching my jewelry all the time, um, trying to find really statement outfits versus this is good enough.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_00: That was switching what my goal was was helpful.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, same question for you.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_00: What part of getting ready feels unnecessarily hard?
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you could automate one part of your wardrobe, what would it be?
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be your jewelry?
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be your belts?
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be your shoes?
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what's one decision that you could make once instead of every morning?
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: Again, mine was jewelry, mainly shoes.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: I probably have about five pairs that I rotate through for different seasons.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, so overall, this isn't an episode just about clothes or styles or trends.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's just kind of wondering the mental energy that you spend getting dressed every morning, does it reflect does it reflect your is it too much?
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is it too much because you don't actually have clothes that fit your current life or your current body?
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is it too much because you're striving for trendy and stylish when maybe you should change your goal a little bit to support your season more?
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: Is it too little because you don't like your body?
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is it too little because you don't have anything that fits?
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is it too little because you're kind of in a season where you've stopped caring for yourself in that sense?
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: And just figuring out, like, okay, like what does it look like to have freedom and actually have the mental energy match what I'm worth and like match my dignity and value?
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not saying, again, we're going back to the your clothes don't give you value, or you're not dressing to get value, it's just an internal and external mirror.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, are they congruent?
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was like, freedom for me, you know, years of my journey from one end of the spectrum to the other with clothes.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Freedom is not neglect, nor is freedom obsession.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: Freedom looks like stop thinking so much effort or time about myself so I could actually be more present with the people that got put in front of me.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's shocking how a good enough put together enough outfit is just that.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm no longer the spotlight nor the hidden one.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just, it's like, gosh, it's just this like background noise that disappears to support the life and the roles that I'm in and what my actual life is so I can fully participate in my life.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: And clothes actually help you do that and help reflect your value, like the dignity that you have for yourself and care.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope, I hope this episode was helpful.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about lowering the standards or trying to shame anyone, it's just noticing and asking yourself some good questions.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think oh, there's another question I had.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: If your wardrobe better supported your the life you're living today, what would make that possible?
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be more confidence?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be more margin?
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be things that fit better?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be more simplicity?
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: Real answer the goal is actually, again, fit your life better, to support your life, freedom, not a value, not a constraint.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, not where you find all your value, nor a constraint, but just a support.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is your war wardrobe supporting your current life that you're living that God has blessed you with?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, guys, I hope this was helpful.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh not just a shallow episode on clothes, but I just curious like, what is the story your closet's telling?
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: And is it congruent with not just what the answers you know to be true, but like, oh, is it actually incongruent with the right answers?
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is it is it revealing some beliefs, better or worse, that you have?
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: And go on a journey with the Holy Spirit to look at it.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, everybody.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a great weekend.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.