Latest / Wealthy Woman Lawyer Podcast, Helping you create a profitable, sustainable law firm you love / What Coaching Can and Can’t Do for You

Transcript

What Coaching Can and Can’t Do for You · Wealthy Woman Lawyer Podcast, Helping you create a profitable, sustainable law firm you love

• 0:07
  Unknown: Hello, I'm Davina Frederick. And I'd like to
• 0:09
  welcome you to the wealthy woman lawyer podcast. If you've been a
• 0:13
  fan for a while help and thank you, we're so glad you're here.
• 0:17
  If you're new to wealthy woman lawyer podcast welcome, the
• 0:21
  wealthy woman lawyer podcast is sponsored by wealthy woman
• 0:24
  lawyer, a company that helps women law firm owners scale
• 0:27
  their law firm businesses to and through a million dollars in
• 0:30
  gross annual revenue with total ease so you can fully fund and
• 0:35
  still have time to enjoy the lifestyle of your dreams. If
• 0:39
  that sounds like something you'd like to do that come hang out
• 0:41
  with us, in our Facebook community, wealthy woman lawyer
• 0:44
  or follow us on Instagram at wealthy woman lawyer, you also
• 0:48
  can connect with me on LinkedIn. So today's topic was inspired by
• 0:52
  a conversation I had recently about coaching, specifically the
• 0:56
  value of coaching. Full disclaimer, most of you realize
• 1:00
  by now that I am a business coach for women law firm owners.
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  So it's probably not going to come as a surprise to you that I
• 1:07
  am a fan of good coaching. Not only has it have I seen the
• 1:11
  benefits of for my own women, law firm owner clients, but I
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  myself have years of experience as a coaching client. I've hired
• 1:18
  multiple coaches through the years to help me grow my
• 1:23
  business. Done Right. I believe coaching can be very powerful.
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  However, coaching, like everything else in life is no
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  magic pill. If you've ever paid for a personal trainer, and
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  you've stopped showing up at your gym after the first few
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  sessions, then you get it right. personal coaching only works if
• 1:44
  you participate in it. So today, I want to discuss what a coach
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  can and can't do for you. If you're trying to decide whether
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  you should hire a coach to help you achieve your goals in any
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  aspect of your life. Really, whether that's growing your
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  business or achieving some health goals or relationship
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  goals. Whatever it is, you'll be clear on what it means to hire a
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  coach what they can and can't do for you. So let's dive in. So a
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  good coach can help you level with yourself. Now what do I
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  mean by that? Well, let me illustrate by sharing a personal
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  story with you. Back at the beginning of year I hired a
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  professional to help me figure out why I wasn't losing weight.
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  I was what my grandmother called lanky for most all of my life up
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  until I turned 40 in my late 30s and early 40s. I was in law
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  school. And basically all I did was sit read and stress eat and
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  gain 30 pounds in the process. 10 of them just from graduation
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  to the bar exam. My husband used to come into my office when I
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  was studying for the bar, and he would say chocolate covered
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  almonds are your only friend right now are they and we laugh,
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  because he wasn't wrong. In 2008, my husband and I bought a
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  CrossFit gym. Now at the time, CrossFit was not really big on
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  the East Coast, we were only the third CrossFit here in all of
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  Central Florida. And we opened ours at the same time as the
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  second one did. I began to workout really hard, I
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  eventually lost some weight, and I became certified as a personal
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  trainer at CrossFit trainer. And I even helped a lot of my
• 3:29
  clients lose weight. However, in the years of followed, it was
• 3:33
  really up and down for me. So I must have lost and gained the
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  same five or 10 pounds over and over again. When I hit my 50s my
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  waistline completely disappeared. And I began to take
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  medication for issues associated with being overweight. So I
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  vacillated probably from sizes 10 and 12. And for some people
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  size 1012 may not be overweight, but for me at my height. It
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  definitely was. And I hired a coach to help me understand
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  that while I can help other people lose weight, I continue
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  to struggle with this problem. And I added it up and it's been
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  about 15 years that I've been kind of struggling with it. And
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  so I really wanted to get to the bottom of it and just conquer
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  this kind of issue for myself once and for all. And I have to
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  tell you, I did not have a good attitude about it. But bless her
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  heart. This coach really stuck with me and she really helped me
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  to reframe some of the thoughts and beliefs I had built up
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  around this issue. One of the things that she did was
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  challenged me to level with myself about what I was really
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  doing or not doing to overcome this issue. So you see, while I
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  thought I was cutting calories, or I was eating low carb or I
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  was exercising enough. What I was really doing was not any of
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  that at least not as much as my 56 year old body and sedentary
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  lifestyle requires. So I wasn't happy when she Started with the
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  whole level yourself level with your self concept because I knew
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  that it was going to challenge the stories. I've been telling
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  myself about how I was different, that there was
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  something genetic or there was something hormonally wrong. And
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  now that I'm in my 50s, it's just the way that is. So you
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  know, and I went through this kind of feeling sorry for
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  myself, why can't I eat like everybody else, it doesn't seem
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  fair. But let me tell you, what I began to level with myself
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  about my thoughts and beliefs around this weight loss loss
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  issue. And the excuses I was making and the lies, I was
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  believing that everything really began to shift for me, and the
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  weight started coming off at a really steady pace. And it's
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  continued to come off. Because I realized that there are certain
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  things that I need to do for my body that other people may not
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  need to do to get the same results. But that's okay. We're
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  all unique. And that's just the way it is right. And once I got
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  real with myself, I really leveled with myself, I was able
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  to make the changes. So a good coach can really help you level
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  with yourself and get you thinking about where you may be
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  not in alignment with your thoughts and beliefs. Number
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  two, a good coach cannot care more than you do. So while a
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  good coach can show up for you and hold space for you to share
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  your thoughts and emotions around a particular issue. And
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  good coach could offer ideas and tools to help you reframe, and
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  get moving forward toward your goals. They cannot care more
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  than you do. And I know this from personal experience,
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  because I've both been this client. And I've dealt with this
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  issue with my own clients, as a business coach for attorneys as
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  a fitness coach.
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  Even as an attorney, when you're dealing with clients, and they,
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  they won't put in the effort to do what needs to be done to
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  handle their own case, right? A coach can only do their part,
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  any professional can only do their part, they cannot do our
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  part, you know your part as a client, that that's the way it
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  is with any relationship really, when you think about it, whether
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  it's a professional relationship, or personal one, I
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  can want something for you really badly. But if you don't
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  want it, it doesn't matter what I want. And perhaps you have
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  another relationship in your life, like this, you may have a
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  spouse or a friend where you really want them to make
• 7:35
  changes, you want something for them. And you you know, you've
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  learned the hard way that unless they want it, you can't change
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  it right, we only have the power to change ourselves. So that's
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  something that no matter how good a coach is, they can't care
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  more than you do about your problem. So that brings me to
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  number three on my list, which is a good coach, a good coach
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  cannot do the work for you. Alright, a good coach can
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  provide a framework, a system tools and techniques, even
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  encouragement. And if you're like I am, I'm a coach and a
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  consultant, I often will share, you know, specific advice or
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  ideas for people, for them to consider and make decisions
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  about whether or not it's right for them. But no matter how good
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  a coach is for you in terms, you know, they can't do the work for
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  you in terms of business coaching. It's your business and
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  not their business. And the ultimate responsibility to make
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  decisions can apply what you've learned is yours and yours
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  alone. And you really can't even look to your team to ever buy
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  into something if you are not willing first to believe in it
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  and take action on it. As the leader of a law firm business,
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  your job is to keep and hold the vision and to inspire your team
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  to support you in the execution of that vision. So, you know, a
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  good coach can show up every every appointment that they said
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  they would show up and talk with you about the same things over
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  and over again. But if you don't comply it and take action,
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  you'll get to the end of your coaching experience without
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  having made changes. A good coach can require you to put
• 9:11
  some skin in the game and teach you how to hold yourself
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  accountable, but they cannot make you accountable that really
• 9:20
  is on you. So they might require you to sign a contract for an
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  extended period of time to pay for their services and advance
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  or pay monthly or pay for their services period. Make you turn
• 9:34
  in homework or or or ask you to turn in homework really. They
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  may show up on certain days and you know may encourage you to
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  share your progress with others or your struggles with others.
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  But it is illegal for coaches attorneys or any other
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  professionals to drive your house, strap you in a chair and
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  you know make you watch hours of video trainings or do anything
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  take any action Right, we, we can't physically force a client
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  to do it, you can't, as an attorney, I can't, as an
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  attorney, I can't as a coach, it's just not how it works,
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  right? You have to put some skin in the game. And say, this is
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  something that I really do invest the time energy and
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  treasurer into. And when you make that commitment, you will
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  be holding yourself accountable. And that is really the key. So
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  some of us and some of us need structure, right? To get that
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  accountability. So some of us work better in a structured
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  environment. And so coaching sets up that sort of structure
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  for us. And once we've made that investment in it, then then that
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  is the thing that holds us accountable, because we don't
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  want to lose out on the potential return on that
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  investment. Right.
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  A good coach can also help you discover what you didn't even
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  know that you didn't know. So when I started my own law firm
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  business, I thought I knew quite a bit about how to run a
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  business. And I did a pretty good job. But oh man, if I had
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  only known what I did not know, my life, during that time would
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  have been so much easier. And my business so much more access
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  successful than it was. And I know, you have this experience,
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  not only as a business owner, but as as an attorney, right?
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  When you're first starting out, and you're a baby lawyer,
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  there's a whole lot that you don't even know you don't know.
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  And so that's why it's important to have people in your life to
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  help you figure things out, as well as doing your own study and
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  research. So someone who has really been where you are, and
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  maybe they've coached other with goals similar to yours, will
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  have a depth of knowledge that can be key to you making a
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  quantum leap in your growth both personally and in your business.
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  So when I've hired coaches to help me, I've hired coaches to
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  help me with very specific changes that I need to make. And
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  oftentimes, those coaches would show me and share with me,
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  really illuminate for me things that I didn't even know that I
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  didn't know that I was missing that I needed. And sometimes
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  that can be a mindset thing. And sometimes it can be a specific
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  language, or a strategy, or a tactic. There's all kinds of
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  things that we just don't know, we don't know. And that comes
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  with doing and experience. And good coaches can help you sort
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  of short circuit that learning process and get to where you
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  want to go faster. And then finally, on my list today, all
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  those is probably not an exhaustive list, by me on my
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  list today is a good coach can help you get clear on next
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  steps, and really help you see your way to take those steps.
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  Oftentimes, we have lots of ideas and thoughts swirling
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  around in our head, especially for entrepreneurial people,
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  right, which once you have owned your own business, you know, you
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  start to develop that kind of thinking. And you often will
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  come up with all kinds of ideas. But it can be hard to move from
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  idea to a point of execution on an idea. And our ideas are
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  really only as good as our ability to execute on those
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  ideas. So good coaches can help you sort through those thoughts.
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  And really get clarity and nail down those next steps. So you
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  can move from being a dreamer to a doer in a way that does not
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  require you to be the actual DOER of everything yourself,
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  right? So good coaches can be those those people that can help
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  you
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  really get clear and get clarity around your own thoughts so you
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  can advance and move forward towards your goals. Coaching is
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  not for everyone, if you are not code what I call a coachable,
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  right, if you're not open to learning new skills and
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  abilities, you're not open to letting go old thoughts and
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  beliefs that no longer serve you. You're not open to
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  listening as somebody helps you try to reframe something or
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  you're not open to putting in the work right you know that it
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  takes to grow. If you're not willing to be uncomfortable
• 14:13
  sometimes, then you're likely not going to be a good candidate
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  for coaching. Because when you're trying to grow any skill
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  set any in any personal development or professional
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  development in your life. It is going to require being open
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  minded and being willing to be uncomfortable at moments and put
• 14:35
  yourself out there and have your beliefs and thoughts challenged.
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  But if you have some really big dreams and you're open to asking
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  and receiving guidance and help towards achieving those dreams,
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  then coaches hiring a good coach can really be life changing. So
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  that's it for today's episode. If you'd like to know more about
• 14:59
  how to set up systems that not only support you and your team
• 15:02
  but your clients as well, then I want you to check out my new
• 15:05
  training. It's called seven essential systems. Every law
• 15:08
  firm needs to scale to seven figures, plus three mistakes to
• 15:11
  avoid. The registration link is in the show notes. I've also
• 15:16
  written a brand new book on this topic, how n n is the wealth
• 15:20
  woman lawyers guide to building a systems driven law firm
• 15:24
  business, so you might want to grab that as well. And I really
• 15:28
  thank you for being here today. If you've enjoyed this podcast
• 15:31
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• 15:34
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• 15:54
  looking for help in growing your businesses. Base giver being
• 15:57
  here and I'll see you next week.