Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Narcissists send their representative to meet you

Transcript

Narcissists send their representative to meet you · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So when you first meet a narcissist, they send their
• 0:03
  representative to meet you. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:06
  Lee Hammock and welcome to another episode of the
• 0:08
  Narcissist Code. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
• 0:10
  in today's episode we're talking about just that.
• 0:13
  Y'all. How at the beginning of a
• 0:15
  relationship with a narcissist or a toxic person, they send
• 0:19
  their representative a stand in a proxy, a a body double.
• 0:25
  Just like on the acting set of they send their body double to
• 0:28
  meet you, they send a body double.
• 0:30
  I'm sorry, y'all, let's just pop to my head The body.
• 0:33
  The body double part just popped to my head.
• 0:35
  I only planned on saying representative but body double
• 0:39
  just fit for some reason. So they send in a body double to
• 0:43
  represent them. Y'all they like.
• 0:46
  Narcissist show you who they can be, not who they really are, not
• 0:52
  who they really are. And I know a lot of people will
• 0:54
  agree with that and understand the exact sentiment on where I'm
• 0:57
  coming from when I say that that they send in a representative.
• 1:00
  Like because when that switch flips, like when they change,
• 1:04
  when the love bombing ends, you see a whole different person.
• 1:07
  You know, like you see the real person.
• 1:10
  Once a narcissist or a tax person or whatever, has you
• 1:13
  hooked the representative, the body double, they clock out and
• 1:18
  then the real person steps up and then they start to devalue
• 1:21
  you and change overnight. They look exactly the same.
• 1:24
  They talk exactly the same. They sound the same, you know,
• 1:28
  but it's a different person. It's like somebody, something
• 1:30
  else has possessed your person, right?
• 1:31
  I don't want to, I don't want to get spiritual with it, but it's
• 1:34
  like a a new entity has possessed the person that you
• 1:37
  love and care about. And from the perspective of a
• 1:39
  narcissist, y'all we the reason narcissists do this.
• 1:42
  And I I know because a lot of the comments already I know what
• 1:44
  they're going to say. Like, why don't they just be
• 1:46
  genuine up front? And maybe we'll love them
• 1:48
  anyway. That's right there.
• 1:50
  Maybe maybe you'll love me anyway.
• 1:54
  If I show you who I really am. Maybe you'll fall for me anyway.
• 1:57
  If I show you what I really want.
• 1:59
  Maybe. Maybe.
• 2:01
  Maybe babies. We don't have Maybe babies over
• 2:03
  here. Y'all.
• 2:05
  But that's the perspective, That's the mindset.
• 2:06
  That's the dynamic of how a lot of narcissists operate right
• 2:09
  there. Y'all.
• 2:10
  It's just like maybe we'll do this, maybe we'll do that.
• 2:15
  That's what, like we can't take that chance.
• 2:17
  Y'all we can't take that chance. Like if I like I have to, I have
• 2:21
  to get a feel for you, right? I have to get a feel for you to
• 2:24
  see if you, if I'm going to like you, if you're the type person
• 2:28
  that even I want, right? I need to get a feel for you.
• 2:32
  And if I start to like you, then I love bomb you, right?
• 2:35
  If I started to like you and care about you, then I might
• 2:37
  love Mommy. I might give you everything.
• 2:39
  I might try to give you everything that you want me.
• 2:41
  I might try to become whoever I need to become to get you to
• 2:45
  fall for me. Right.
• 2:46
  And then I get tired of that. And then, like, I can only like
• 2:50
  a narcissist can only hold up the mask for a short period of
• 2:54
  time. You know, this is this is not a.
• 2:55
  It's not a. It's not a permanent mask.
• 2:59
  And narcissists can only hold the mask up for a short period
• 3:01
  of time. It's not a forever mask.
• 3:03
  The reason you're watching this video, because you understand
• 3:05
  the dynamic into the space like it's not a for everything.
• 3:08
  It's not a for everything. It's not a forever mask.
• 3:11
  The mask gets heavy. The mask falls off.
• 3:13
  The mask comes off. And then you get the person.
• 3:16
  You get, you get this person right here.
• 3:17
  You get to meet this person right here.
• 3:19
  You get to see this person right here.
• 3:20
  You get the to see the experience.
• 3:21
  You you understand the dynamic. You know the mask gets heavy
• 3:26
  bully. How long does the mask stay on?
• 3:27
  Y'all there's I wish I could tell y'all I wish I had a a
• 3:30
  timer that I can tell you to hit.
• 3:32
  And when that timer goes off the mask will come off.
• 3:35
  But I can't. What I can tell you is that you
• 3:37
  can assist the mask in coming off by y'all you you have to be
• 3:43
  you. Let me say this right here.
• 3:44
  Let me be realistic right here. You have to be the real you at
• 3:48
  the beginning, right Be you flaws and all.
• 3:51
  Be you. Don't send your representative.
• 3:54
  Be you. Be you to fool you know what I'm
• 3:58
  saying? Be you to fool.
• 3:59
  Be you to fool. Be you to your fool.
• 4:01
  But you be you flaws and all be you.
• 4:05
  Because like, that's the reason there are a lot of narcissists.
• 4:07
  That's when the mask comes off, is when your flaws start to
• 4:10
  show. Because in the mind, when I see
• 4:12
  my representative to meet you, I think you're a perfect person.
• 4:15
  You're perfect for me. But when they later on down the
• 4:18
  road, when your flaws start this show because you are, you're a
• 4:22
  flawed person. I'm a flawed person.
• 4:24
  Every single person in this world has flawed y'all.
• 4:26
  This is not me. Just saying oh lady hurt my
• 4:27
  feelings. No, no, no.
• 4:28
  That's my not my intent. We're all flawed people.
• 4:30
  There's no perfect person. You think you're a perfect
• 4:32
  person. Go to myself.
• 4:34
  Award narcissist series and start from start from the
• 4:37
  beginning. Because you might be.
• 4:38
  You might have some narcissists be.
• 4:41
  But no. But seriously, we all have
• 4:46
  flaws. So when an artist seizure flaws
• 4:49
  you, they understand that you're not a perfect person.
• 4:51
  The representative disappears, the mask comes off.
• 4:53
  You see what I'm saying? So that's that's what happens a
• 4:55
  lot of times in these spaces. They become who they need to be
• 4:59
  to get you to fall for them. Because they might actually
• 5:01
  really think they might actually really like you.
• 5:02
  Y'all they might actually really care about you in the beginning.
• 5:05
  But we presented a false self so damn, because we don't think you
• 5:09
  can love us. That's why they present the
• 5:10
  false self, because we don't think you can love the real
• 5:12
  version of us. We have trouble loving
• 5:15
  ourselves. We have trouble liking ourselves
• 5:17
  Y'all. We have trouble being kind and
• 5:19
  genuine to ourselves. So I'll be damned if we go if if
• 5:22
  it. Like I said, it's going to be
• 5:24
  very difficult to be kind and genuine to you.
• 5:26
  I mean, like we should be. We don't hardly like ourselves,
• 5:31
  right? So we don't think you're going
• 5:34
  to like us if we don't like the real, if we don't like the real
• 5:38
  us, we don't think you're going to like the real us.
• 5:41
  That's why we go above and beyond a lot of times in the
• 5:43
  beginning. That's why we start doing stuff
• 5:45
  that we really don't want to do to make you happy.
• 5:48
  Because we like you. We care about you.
• 5:51
  We think we do. You know, we go above me.
• 5:54
  I'm like, oh, you like, try this sushi.
• 5:56
  You love, you like sushi. In my mind, I know damn well I
• 5:59
  hate sushi. I I don't.
• 6:00
  I don't like sushi. I don't like oysters.
• 6:02
  I don't like any of that. But my representative does.
• 6:08
  My body double loves them. It just suits you, you know?
• 6:14
  God, these oysters are really Slurpee.
• 6:19
  Oh, I love them. I hate them.
• 6:21
  I really hate them. You know what I mean by my
• 6:22
  representative loves those oysters, loves those oysters and
• 6:27
  like loves them to A to a tea, you know what I mean?
• 6:29
  But that's how it goes. Y'all.
• 6:31
  They don't really like it. They don't really care about it.
• 6:33
  They tell you. They do.
• 6:35
  They tell you they do, but they don't really like they don't.
• 6:37
  They don't really like them. Y'all.
• 6:38
  They do a lot of stuff that they don't really like to do to get
• 6:42
  you to fall for them, to get the representative, to get to to the
• 6:46
  representative. The stand in the body double
• 6:48
  gets the job done and then it's like tap you on the shoulder
• 6:51
  like like A tag team, like a rat back in the wrestling days.
• 6:54
  Tag team I tag in, here comes the real me.
• 6:58
  Subtle disrespect? No, no, it's not even a subtle
• 7:01
  disrespect. Y'all the devaluation phase
• 7:03
  doesn't always start off with a subtle disrespect.
• 7:05
  It just show you who they really are.
• 7:07
  They suddenly tell you they don't.
• 7:09
  They don't like oysters. Hey, babe, here's an oyster for
• 7:11
  you. Open up.
• 7:13
  I'm like, I don't even really like oysters.
• 7:15
  I'm not. I'm not.
• 7:16
  I'm. I'm not hungry right now.
• 7:18
  Oh, but you love oysters. Not really.
• 7:19
  I don't want to like oysters. Really.
• 7:21
  I thought you loved oysters. You said you said the last set
• 7:24
  of oysters were really slurpy. Those were your words.
• 7:28
  Yeah. My, I don't like.
• 7:30
  I really don't like them though. Hey babe, here's some sushi.
• 7:33
  I hate sushi. Now I you see, now I'm really
• 7:36
  being me. And you are confused because
• 7:40
  those are little minor things like sushi and oysters, but they
• 7:43
  can start doing it with big stuff.
• 7:45
  Oh, I I know. I told you I wanted to live in
• 7:48
  in in Reedsville, North Carolina, but I hate Reedsville.
• 7:51
  I would rather live in Greensboro or Charlotte, NC or
• 7:54
  Durham, NC You know they will lie to you y'all.
• 7:58
  They will mislead you. They will misguide you to get
• 8:02
  you to fall for them. But once you fall for them, it's
• 8:05
  kind of too late now. Damn, it's too late.
• 8:07
  You like you really like this person now, so sushi and oysters
• 8:10
  you don't. I can get over that.
• 8:12
  I really don't want to live in Reedsville anyway.
• 8:14
  Reedsville is a great city. Reedsville, North Carolina is
• 8:16
  the best city in North Carolina. But I guess I can give a reason
• 8:21
  Those are little that you see that stuff right there.
• 8:23
  You'd be willing to give up because you already like the
• 8:25
  person. The representative has done
• 8:28
  their job correctly, right? You see what I'm saying?
• 8:31
  The representative has done their job correctly and gotten
• 8:34
  you to fall for them. You see how that mind works.
• 8:37
  You see how that mindset works right there.
• 8:38
  Until now you've fallen for me. Now I have you.
• 8:41
  Now we're together. And now you'll be willing to
• 8:43
  change who you are to fit me. The representative.
• 8:49
  I go up, I go. I send my representatives to
• 8:51
  meet. You had the mask on.
• 8:54
  You fall for me, right? But now I start taking things
• 8:58
  away. But you've already fallen for
• 9:00
  me. So now you're changing to meet
• 9:02
  me to to get me, to keep me around.
• 9:05
  Because you like me. Because now you in love with me.
• 9:08
  Maybe. Maybe you trauma binded to me.
• 9:10
  You see? You see how that works?
• 9:12
  You see how subtle it is right there.
• 9:13
  You know, they send their representative to meet you and
• 9:17
  they mess with your heads and then they get you.
• 9:19
  Gotcha. Gonna get you.
• 9:20
  That's what. I don't know.
• 9:21
  Y'all I forgot what movie that's from.
• 9:23
  But gotcha gonna get you. Gotcha gonna always gonna get
• 9:25
  you. You know what I mean?
• 9:26
  But that's the mindset of it. Y'all that's the dynamic, that's
• 9:29
  the that's the piece of it right there.
• 9:31
  That is the piece. You know, that's why I just tell
• 9:34
  people all the time. Y'all you have to be.
• 9:35
  You have to be willing to do it this way.
• 9:38
  Y'all you have to be willing to move forward and keep things
• 9:40
  going forward. You have y'all it's a it really
• 9:43
  is a mindset thing. It really, really is.
• 9:46
  You know, I just tell people y'all is you have to keep
• 9:48
  empowering yourself in your journey because like into like
• 9:52
  be you upfront, show your flaws upfront.
• 9:54
  I don't know what your flaws are.
• 9:55
  Y'all you might like be you cuss.
• 9:57
  Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you go over there and fart on the first
• 10:00
  date or something like that. But like cuss.
• 10:02
  Be loud if that's you who you are, y'all be your authentic
• 10:04
  self, you know? Because that that will suss out
• 10:07
  the people that really don't want to be there.
• 10:09
  They really don't. They really don't like that.
• 10:11
  You see what I'm saying? Because once you're flawless on
• 10:13
  the show, later on down the road the representative will send the
• 10:16
  narcissist. I'm telling you, I'm telling
• 10:18
  that once they have you hooked, they're going to send that I'm
• 10:22
  I'm, I'm just being real with you.
• 10:24
  I'm telling you straight up, they're going to do it.
• 10:27
  It's going to happen. And this is the mindset a lot of
• 10:29
  people fall into right here. Y'all.
• 10:30
  And it it is. It's extremely tough to deal
• 10:32
  with. And that's why I tell people I I
• 10:34
  understand, it's extremely tough to deal with because you've
• 10:35
  already fallen for the person. Then by saying get everything
• 10:38
  out on the table now. Like pretty much empty.
• 10:41
  Like when you first get in to know someone, empty your
• 10:44
  relationship pockets. Show them who you really are
• 10:47
  just so you know I'm telling you, make them earn your
• 10:49
  information, of course, but show who you really are.
• 10:52
  Don't hide who you are. You know, don't, don't you?
• 10:55
  Don't mask. You know what I mean?
• 10:57
  Be who you really are. Because that if they don't
• 11:00
  really, like I said, if their representative doesn't like that
• 11:03
  or the flaws that you might show.
• 11:05
  Desk can help you avoid a narcissist long term right
• 11:07
  there. Y'all they can help you avoid a
• 11:08
  long term narcissistic person right there.
• 11:10
  You know what I mean? They it really can.
• 11:12
  So you have to. But you have to empower
• 11:14
  yourself. You have to be as safe and
• 11:16
  strong as you possibly can. Y'all oh goodness oh goodness.
• 11:20
  Anyways, y'all. Don't send your representative.
• 11:22
  Send your representative to like this video or like this podcast.
• 11:26
  And subscribe to it if you already haven't.
• 11:28
  If you made it this far, let's help.
• 11:30
  Look, we're trying to hit 400 K by the end of the year.
• 11:33
  Let's see if we can do that. Let's see if we can hit that.
• 11:34
  Y'all. I truly appreciate every single
• 11:36
  one of y'all hope y'all like my new thumbnails.
• 11:38
  So I got a thumbnail designer. Now check out the kids book we
• 11:42
  like and subscribe for more. But this is our piece.
• 11:45
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:47
  Y'all. If you didn't know, we wrote a
• 11:49
  kids book called Remember, It's Not Your Fault To help kids
• 11:52
  understand that they are not in control of whatever
• 11:55
  circumstances they were born into.
• 11:56
  Talk about boundaries. Telling the truth.
• 11:59
  All of that stuff. Y'all.
• 12:00
  It's available on Amazon right now.
• 12:02
  Or the link in my description of every single video or podcast
• 12:05
  that you listen to. Thank you so much.
• 12:06
  Remember, it's not your fault. Peace.