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A Weekend At Bernies Is Fine by Me! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Weekend. It Bernie's is fine with me. It's one more thing.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm strong, and one more thing before we get to that.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: In Macab's story. I just saw this headline Prince William
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  Speaker 1: has resumed his royal duties for the first time since
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: the announcement of his wife's cancer.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Neat why there are layers that don't give a crap
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  Speaker 2: I need to penetrate to comment on this.
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  Speaker 1: Neat something that there's a mechanism involved where you like
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: have suspended your royal duties and that that is noted
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  Speaker 1: by anyone anywhere like that somebody write that down or something,
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  Speaker 1: and then you resume your royal duties and then that
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  Speaker 1: is a noted occurrence also.
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  Speaker 2: And were the royal duties just entirely undone during that
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  Speaker 2: period or was there some duke who filled in?
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  Speaker 3: How does that work?
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  Speaker 1: Again? I don't care, right right? Did some duke fill in?
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  Speaker 1: Or do you have like a backlog of royal duties
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  Speaker 1: to get caught up on and you're just when you're
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: gonna get your ass kicked this spring trying to catch
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: up on your royal duties that you missed.
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  Speaker 2: As I mentioned, right, this like when you take vacation
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  Speaker 2: you gotta bust your ass for a week before you leave.
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  Speaker 2: Then the week you get back is a night. There's
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  Speaker 2: so many royal duties. I was I mentioned during the
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: show I'm rewatching The Darkest Hour the Gary Oldman is
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  Speaker 2: Winston Churchill movie very good?
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  Speaker 1: But did he want to Oscar for that? I know
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  Speaker 1: he was nominating like he did? He was good.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but the whole relationship between the government, the civilian
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  Speaker 2: government and the crown is so interesting too, right, I
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: am asking you to form a government.
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  Speaker 1: All right, Okay, I would answer like Katie neat.
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  Speaker 3: All right.
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  Speaker 1: Anyway, let me get let me get to the dead
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  Speaker 1: body here. So Katie brought us his headline earlier in
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  Speaker 1: the show. Now I have the details. It's really something
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: in the headline being a woman in Brazil was arrested
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  Speaker 1: after she attempted to get a dead body in a
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  Speaker 1: wheelchair to sign for a loan.
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  Speaker 4: I was on Twitter or x or whatever the hell
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  Speaker 4: it's called now when this video went viral. So I
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  Speaker 4: saw the unedited version, because now it's been blurred all
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  Speaker 4: over the place. This guy was dead dead like oh
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  Speaker 4: not just not just like just dead, but like megadead.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, really been dead. A while. Maybe not. Can you
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  Speaker 1: be more precise?
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  Speaker 5: Not?
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  Speaker 4: Riga mortis dead because she was able to kind of
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  Speaker 4: move him around.
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  Speaker 1: But he was dead, super dead. So here we go.
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  Speaker 1: Woman in Brazil arrested Tuesday suspension of theft by fraud
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  Speaker 1: and violating a corpse. You know, as I've said many times,
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  Speaker 1: when I'm dead, you can do whatever you want to me.
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  Speaker 1: Don't charge with the crime. I don't care. It doesn't
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  Speaker 1: make any difference. I mean, you're a little weird, but
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  Speaker 1: you violated me in any way. I don't care.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Let me get a couple of licks in just you know,
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  Speaker 2: work out some frustrations.
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  Speaker 4: Jack Pinata.
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  Speaker 1: After she after she brought her dead uncle to a
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: bank to sign a loan agreement. She had raised suspicion
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  Speaker 1: after she entered the small bank there in Rio with
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  Speaker 1: a man in a wheelchair who she called her uncle.
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  Speaker 1: Well that's not that would why would that raise suspicion?
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  Speaker 1: That's not weird. The woman, and they give her name here,
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  Speaker 1: which I can't pronounce, reportedly told the clerk that they
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  Speaker 1: were to sign off on this seventeen thousand reass loan.
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  Speaker 1: That's the all and fifty dollars and security Cambridge footage
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  Speaker 1: which Katie has seen. The woman can be seen picking
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  Speaker 1: up the man's hand and repositioning his head to try
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  Speaker 1: to get him to sign the document in front of him.
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  Speaker 4: This guy's head was flopping all over the place. Oh
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  Speaker 4: my forward, backward, mouth open. And then she finally gets
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  Speaker 4: irritated enough to just get a grip on the back
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  Speaker 4: of his neck, and she's holding him steady. With the
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  Speaker 4: other hand, she's trying to pick up his arm and
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  Speaker 4: get it to hold the pen.
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  Speaker 3: Good, good, plot, And you say that didn't work.
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  Speaker 1: His head's going all over the place. Oh yeah, uh,
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  Speaker 1: can be picking up the hand reposition. He said, uncle,
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  Speaker 1: are you listening? You need to sign. If you don't sign,
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  Speaker 1: there's no way because I can't sign for you. She
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  Speaker 1: can be heard saying on the audio.
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  Speaker 3: I will just steady your hand.
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  Speaker 1: All right, uncle, are you listening? You need to sign.
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  Speaker 1: He doesn't say anything. That's just how he is. She
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  Speaker 1: tells the clerk when he doesn't reply, if you're not okay,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to take you to the hospital. But the
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  Speaker 1: man's don't bother. The man's unresponsive nature and lolling head,
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  Speaker 1: as described as a kata green caused concern among bank employees,
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  Speaker 1: who called local ambulance services. Dude is megadad on arriving
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  Speaker 1: the doctor's confirmed the sixty year old man had been
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  Speaker 1: dead for quite some time. His body was taken directly
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  Speaker 1: to a morgue, and she's been arrested. Creative idea. Her
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  Speaker 1: lawyers are arguing, no, no, no, no, he was fine.
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  Speaker 1: He must have died in the wheelchair as I was
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  Speaker 1: rolling into the bank, because you must before he signed,
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  Speaker 1: because we talked about this, or right out on the
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  Speaker 1: sidewalk before I rolled him in, And he must have
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  Speaker 1: died right beforehand.
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  Speaker 4: And I just didn't notice, not an effing chance, not
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  Speaker 4: any is you know.
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  Speaker 2: He was never that energetic in life, so I didn't
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  Speaker 2: notice the difference.
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  Speaker 4: And his eyes just naturally sunk into his head like that.
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  Speaker 1: He always looked that Oho Mega did preliminary preliminary friendsic
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  Speaker 1: analysis says he had died at least several hours before
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  Speaker 1: the uh trying to sign for the loan, if not longer.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but if your uncle Enrique kicks it, I mean,
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  Speaker 2: just between you to decide, all right, we're going in
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  Speaker 2: on this loan together. An he croaks just before you
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  Speaker 2: go to the bank. It's frustrating, it's inconvenient. I say,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: we stick with plan A and see how it goes.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you come up with a workaround. That's what that is.
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  Speaker 1: It's a work around. Now you try not to let
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  Speaker 1: his head flop all over and you lift his hand up.
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: There.
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  Speaker 2: As big a hit as Weekend at Bernie's was, it's
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  Speaker 2: amazing to me that dragging a corpse around comedy didn't
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  Speaker 2: become a more important genre.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Right, there's only one movie to refer to, that one,
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  Speaker 1: or like a whole bunch of them.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, American Pie spawned dozens of imitators, for instance,
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  Speaker 2: right exactly, There.
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  Speaker 4: Was a few years ago where the Weekend at Bernie's
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  Speaker 4: Funeral went viral?
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  Speaker 1: Do you guys remember that? I don't know that, I
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  Speaker 1: do the headline.
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  Speaker 4: There were like a series of funerals. I think BuzzFeed
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  Speaker 4: did like an article about it and compiled a list
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  Speaker 4: of people that instead of just having like a regular
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  Speaker 4: visitation or whatever, had themselves like dressed and propped up
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  Speaker 4: with like cigarettes put in their hands, and they were
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  Speaker 4: like that, and the families were coming up and like
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  Speaker 4: taking pictures with them. And there was another one that
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  Speaker 4: was a weightlifter and they actually attached their hands to
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  Speaker 4: like a deadlift.
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  Speaker 3: Oh you see.
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  Speaker 1: It depends on the situation though, clearly, because like my
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  Speaker 1: friends would think it was fine. Yeah, but my kids
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  Speaker 1: might not. I hope you know. It depends on relationship
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  Speaker 1: with who it is.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm picturing all right.
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  Speaker 2: I mean if you had me sitting in a chair
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  Speaker 2: with my telecaster in my lap, right, you know that's
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  Speaker 2: not bad? Or maybe like some reclimbing down the couch
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  Speaker 2: with a half empty Scotch next to me, like I
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  Speaker 2: was watching a golf tournament and fell asleep.
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  Speaker 3: Would my wife would appreciate that one?
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  Speaker 1: Okay, well, yeah, I guess it depends, but yeah I
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  Speaker 1: could see that. Yeah. Well yeah, there's a lot of
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  Speaker 1: caveats to the whole idea, I suppose. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: The weightlifting one got my attention though, because the way
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  Speaker 4: that they have her her propped up and then they
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  Speaker 4: have a bench press over her face like she's about
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  Speaker 4: to just do a big old lift.
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  Speaker 2: I can't decide if this idea is is more charming
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  Speaker 2: or horrifying. I keep going back and forth.
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  Speaker 1: Right, is it like you want to see him more
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  Speaker 1: like like he lived?
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  Speaker 2: Huh?
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  Speaker 1: Or I guess that could be charming, yesh, or it's horrifying. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: You know. One thing that I'm in favor of is
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  Speaker 2: like for an obituary or a memorial service or something
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  Speaker 2: like that. I don't like it when they have like
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  Speaker 2: the most recent picture when the person is ancient, because
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  Speaker 2: as anybody past the age of fifty especially can tell
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  Speaker 2: you in your heart, your soul, who you are is
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  Speaker 2: your young self and you just have aches and pains
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  Speaker 2: and more memories and a little more wisdom and that
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  Speaker 2: sort of thing. But the old dude is kind of
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  Speaker 2: a stranger, Like, how the hell did that happen? So
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  Speaker 2: I just when they were youngest, vital, most vital, energetic,
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  Speaker 2: when they were forming who they are.
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  Speaker 3: Give me that picture.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. New York Times is good at that. They use
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  Speaker 1: you and your prime picture for all their obituaries of
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  Speaker 1: famous people like I see him Sunday in the New
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: York Times book review whatever author died, and they have
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  Speaker 1: their when they were, you know, a hot sexy woman
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  Speaker 1: or a cool young guy or whatever or whatever they
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  Speaker 1: were that had so much to do with the things
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  Speaker 1: you wrote, not like just an old person. Yeah, the
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  Speaker 1: time of their life they look back on fondly. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: and what they probably became famous for. Now we're not
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  Speaker 1: talking just about famous people, but like in yeah, and
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  Speaker 1: just for everybody. I agree.
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  Speaker 2: Now, I've kind of been a doey dipshit from age
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  Speaker 2: twelve through the grave, so it would be easier for me.
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  Speaker 2: But yes, yeah, I.
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  Speaker 1: Was gonna say, what what point do I get to
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  Speaker 1: choose ahead of time? What point? Because like, you know,
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  Speaker 1: we'll pick him a when was he young and vital?
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  Speaker 1: High school? Here's a good high school picture.
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  Speaker 3: Noah, I don't want that young but not vital.
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  Speaker 1: Let's keep looking.
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  Speaker 4: I'm writing down my new favorite slam a doey dip shit.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, there, you're a doey dip shit, aren't you?
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  Speaker 5: All right? For my funeral, I'm gonna do radio stuff.
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  Speaker 5: I'm gonna have open casket with me sitting up with
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: headphones on my head holding.
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  Speaker 1: Up three fingers exactly.
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  Speaker 4: Counting us down, and a lot of Jack and Joe
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  Speaker 4: there screaming at you, and.
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  Speaker 5: Then oh, oh hey hey, and then you can donate
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  Speaker 5: money to pay any FCC fines.
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  Speaker 1: So we did. We would say, I don't know why
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  Speaker 1: we're assuming well, we're going to outlive you because I
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: don't think we are. We would be there and saying,
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  Speaker 1: just where's the clip, Michael, just for old times sake,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: that would be great.
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  Speaker 3: No clip forty two forty two. Oh wait, that's right,
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  Speaker 3: he's past. God rest his soul.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.