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An Unlikely Affair: Backstreet Boy, Real Recovery · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi Lola.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Welcome to an Unlikely Affair.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: Hello everybody, Welcome to another episode of an Unlikely Affair.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm here with my sister wife. That's like your permanent name.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Wala Kent.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: I love it. Hello everybody.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I'm hyped on the day. I'm ella hyped on the day.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, thank god.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm super super excited about this episode. I have
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: like a really cool story, but I will share this
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: in just a second. I would like to introduce a J. Alexander.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: I think Alexander aka Backstreet Boys Baby, my favorite of
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: the Backstreet Boys even as a young and I like
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: the bad boy.
• 0:45
  Speaker 5: And I'm so not that that's what's great. Yeah, I'm
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: the biggest pushover teddy Bear anyone's ever met. But I
• 0:54
  Speaker 5: just got pigeonholed because I dyed my hair and I
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: got tattoos and piercings and blabba bah blah. So somehow
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: they had to find because that was the formula, right,
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: the boy bands, Well, first of all, we never even
• 1:09
  Speaker 5: heard that phrase until we went to Europe, and that
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: was what they called groups of five good looking guys
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: that sang and dance. They called them boy bands. So
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: we never we were a vocal harmony group. That's what
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: we called ourselves. Like oyster Men, shy Jobicy, the Temptations.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: That's what we grew up in the States hearing. So
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: in a boy band, you had the young, cute one,
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: you had the old one, you had the clown, you
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: had the kind of mediator, like the.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Middle guy, and then you had the bad boy. And
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: there you are there and there it is. I'm like, okay,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: crown me bad boy.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: So when I was eight nine years old, I'm thirty seven,
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: born in eighty eight. I'll never forget going to Target
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: getting your barbie, and no fucking joke, I still have
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: the Barbie version of you.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, this is so it's like
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: full circle of my life that I'm sitting sitting here
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: with you because I was like, I grew up Mormon.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I always love a good boy, and even if you're
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: just playing a part.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: And I got to say, I love my Mormons.
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: Uh. Growing up in kissim Me, Florida, when I was
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: in like middle school, high school, Uh, we had right
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: down the street from where I lived was at that
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: point was one of the biggest Mormon temples in Florida,
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: and uh, every day, like clockwork at my apartment building,
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: the young the young boys in their white shirts and
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: black ties would always roll up, and I became friends
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: with some of them, like they were just the nicest guys.
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: They would take a break, we played basketball and uh
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: and yeah. And then of course once uh, once Trey
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: and Matt did their amazing Broadway play. That kind of
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: reinvigorated my love for Oh my god, oh have you
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: ever seen it?
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Like three times?
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm obsessed because you know what's so great. It's
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: because I because I grew up and I know all
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: the little funny jokes, right, and then I I fell
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: out of the church when I moved to New York City.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: It makes it that much better.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: I mean this, I mean I still play it for
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: like in my car when I'm driving, I'll play the
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: book more.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Have you seen it?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: My Book of Mormon is one of the greatest fucking hysterical.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: What I love is when you go see it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: The five times I've seen it, I'll go outside and
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: have a cigarette during intermission, and like average, ten to
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: fifteen people are walking out going what is this?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Why am I here? This is disgusting.
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: It's like, how do you not know coming into this
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: who wrote this show? If you don't watch South Park,
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: you're never going to love this because like it's it's comedy.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: It's comedy, but they go there comedy.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: And that, by the way, the fact that it's stayed
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: on Broadway this song, it just shows you, like it's
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: not you can't be on Broadway for this song. If
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: you have a bad Broadway show where people are walking out, listen,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: it's not for everybody.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I think. I remember taking my mom, who is.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Not a part of the more of Churchy anymore, but
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: at first she was like I'm a little offended.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, come on, lighting up. It's fucking hysterica.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Like all that I want to do is Orlando on
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: his mission, like and.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: The whole for disney World purposes. I don't actually don't know.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: It's just like you know, he's.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: He's he's just going on a mission and trying to
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: spread the word and he ends up going to Africa
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: and like it's just it's love, like.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Come masturbate and come for the first.
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: That also a lot of it stemmed from or Gasmo,
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: which was one of the first movies that Trey and
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: Matt did before they did basketball. I'm a big South
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Park nerd and I just love all a Family Guy,
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: any of that stuff. Set's adult animation, like Paradise PD,
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: like any of those shows.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, growing up, it was always the Simpsons.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: But I stopped watching the Simpsons as I got older,
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: and then once Family Guy in South Park happened, it
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: was over, like I because they they found the they
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: found the magic loophole, which is, let's make fun of
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: everyone exactly. Then nobody can come at you and be like,
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: oh wait, no, it's like.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Make fun of you.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: They did an episode on South Park about boy bands.
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: This was years ago, and you could and Cartman wanted
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: to be the bad boy. And there was definitely elements
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: of I think myself, a little bit of Donnie Wahlberg,
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: a little bit of There was elements blatantly say okay,
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: that's me, that's so and so, like.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: You just knew. But it wasn't like on the nose,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: but yeah, I mean.
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: It was pretty It was pretty obvious if you if
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: you follow boy bands like you just knew, you know, like.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Okay, so you are coming out that you have a
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: solo album. That is titled Alexander James. So the album
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: came out in January. When's your birthday?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: January ninth?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: What sign is that?
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Capricorn? Capricorn?
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know much about it, but I guess he's
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: a bad boy.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Well no, we we have a really big heart where
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: people pleasers. We get walked all over constantly, but we
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: and we keep coming back for more for whatever reason.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know why we do.
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, come on, you know, but I now,
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: oh yeah, I mean.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm.
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: I fall right in that class. But I recently, over
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: the last few years, have I've done a lot of
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: soul searching and a lot of self healing and finally
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: applied boundaries in my life, which I never had. I
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: didn't even really I knew the word, but I didn't know,
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: like exactly how to apply it to my life because
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: I just let everybody in and just didn't care to
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: trust it.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Everybody personally, roman everything everything.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Right now, it's like boundaries are set.
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: I learned no as a complete sentence because I just
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: said yes to everyone and everything.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: You know, somebody joked once before.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: And it it kind of rub me the wrong way,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, I was like, you know what,
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: it's it's it was meant I think with kindness but sarcasm.
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: Somebody said once that I would go to the opening
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: of an envelope, and I was like Jesus, like, that's
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: that's harsh. But I've then I kind of took a
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: moment to reflect and go, shit, I do do a
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: lot of things. Some are necessary and some it's just
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: like I just want to go, like I just want
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: to be around people, or I want to go to
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: this event or that event. But I've dialed that way
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: back now. I'm way more picky and choosy now, like
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: it's just okay, enough's enough, Like you don't need to
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: go to everything and be everywhere because it is exhausting.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: I mean it really, yeah, And I'm sure you've attributed
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: that to your sobriety, being able to like really check
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: in with yourself and go and.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Deep oh yeah yeah.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: I mean daily wake up in the morning, meditate, same
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: our prayers, daily affirmations. When I first get up, what
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: am I grateful for today, you know, and then just
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: kind of start start my day and if there's any
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: moment during the day that's.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: A little sticky.
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: I just either I call my best friend or I
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: talk to my sponsor, who is my best friend, and
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: you know, we just kind of, I mean, nine times
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: out of ten when I'm with him somehow, some.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Way, sobriety comes up.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: Right. It just relates to everything in our daily life,
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: no matter what. So if anything's bothering me, instead of
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: me harboring it or blowing it off, it's like, let's
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: just get it. Let's just address it immediately, nip it
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: in the bud, and then move on. Some things are
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: easier to move on from than others. But you know,
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: I mean I never did any step work when I
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: got sober the first time in two thousand and one,
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: so I just white knuckled it for seven years, and
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: I was destined to relapse, and I was a chronic
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: relapser like I for like the last twenty plus years.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: It was in out and out until this last time,
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: and I just, you know, it was finally the right time.
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: My youngest daughter is a big part of why I
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: finally nipped it in the bud, so you know, and
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: she's old enough now to kind of understand like how
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: much she really did play a part in it, but
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: I'll I kind of remind her every year, you know,
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: I just say thank you. And she's nine, but she's
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: like thirty five, so she's she's very smart, freakishly smart.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: And it's kind of annoying because I was, you know,
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: I'm more of a street smart guy, you know, as
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: opposed to BookSmart.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: I need to read more, but I don't. I'm more
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: of an audio person. I guess that's the musician in me.
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: So if I have a chance to read this book
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: or do an audio version, I'm going to do the
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: audio version.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: It just you know what I like to do, like
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you audible and follow.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Along, oh, because I haven't tried that yet.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: If it's a self help book, like they'll let them
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: one that I'm lately sometimes I like to highlight like
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: I learned because I've been reading The Big Book all
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: over again and aa, my sponsor wants.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Me to go and highlight, highlight.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: I kind of like just transition that into just reading
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: books outside of it.
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, someday I'm going to read the Big Book from
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: cover to cover. I've read what my sponsor has kind
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: of focused on. And we have a men's group every Thursday,
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: and we started every time with pages eighty six, eighty seven,
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: eighty eight up on Awakening, and like that's I literally
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: read those pages every morning like that, just that that
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: is just the only way to start my day, because
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: it always applies to the day. It doesn't matter where
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: I am, you know, if I forget my little mini
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: big book with me when I travel.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Hello, just pull it up online on the phone and just.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: You know, finally I screenshot at all the pages so
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: I don't have to search for it anymore. If I
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: have a bad service, you know, or if I just
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: wake up and I'm just in a pissy mood and
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: I forget to do it, which happens, yep. Then I'm like, wait,
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: it's something is wrong, something's missing.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Oh hold on, and I'll pull off the side of
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: the road and I'll read it. And then I'll yep.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: I always read like the promises when i'm in like
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: self pity, or I'm like, I'm I have almost two
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: years sober, and I'm like, how come this hasn't happened,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: how come I haven't found my person?
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: This is wrong?
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, read the fucking promises, and it
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: says sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly they will materialize. I literally
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: said this to myself this morning. If you work for them, yeah,
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: that's action. So stop your complaining, get out of your
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: like head.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: And faith without works is dead. Yeah, it doesn't do anything.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: If you don't do the work.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: You should read, like find someone that you could read
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: the book Big Book with once a week for like
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: fifteen minutes. It's really changed everything for me. I mean,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: my sponsors like, I don't disagree.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I need to read it.
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: It's definitely on my to do list and it has
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: been for years. But now that I'm finally doing the steps,
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: like I never like, like I said earlier, I white
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: knuckle did it. I didn't do the steps, and I figured, okay,
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: you know, I go to meetings, I'm good, like we
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: all think newly sober and literally, you know, the first
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: couple of times that I tried doing the steps, I
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: relapse on the four step, which everybody does generally.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: This time I was like, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: do it.
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: And honestly, my sponsor he took me to take me
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: to the airport and he he basically put the fear
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: of God in me. He was like, look, dude, I've
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: done as much as I can with you. If you're
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: not going to do the work, then maybe I shouldn't
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: be your sponsor. He's like, I feel like I should.
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: I should call you know, Rachelle and be like, I'm sorry.
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: I tried, but I can't. I just can't do it anymore.
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: And that scared the shit.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Out of me. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: you have to be my sponsor, like I can't.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: So I got on that flight and I was just
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: like my brain was going on thousand miles a minute.
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, dude, the minute you get home, you
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: got to do your four step. You've got to do it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: And literally I was gone for two days. The day
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: I got home, called him, said come to the house and.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: We just did it.
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: And surprisingly, because he knows everything, we talk about everything.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: He learned some shit and I was shocked. And that's
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: what was That's how I knew I did.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: It a proper, thorough four step because there was a
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: lot of things that I didn't share with Yeah.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Just for everybody that's listening that doesn't know about alcoholics, anonymous,
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: like they say, you're as sick as your darkest secrets,
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: and within the fourth step, sometimes you have to uncover
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: and discard those things that that you just don't want.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: People to know.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: But as soon as you do, and if you do
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: it thoroughly, like you said, and honestly, then you get
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: that relief.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Fearless moral inventory.
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: Man. It's it's it's rough to have to. I think
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: the hardest part about it is writing out your part
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: in it. It's very easy.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: It's very easy to blame everybody else, to go, Okay,
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I know what you did wrong to hurt me.
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: But it's the hardest part to say, Okay, what did
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: I what was my part in it?
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: What did I do back? Or what did I do
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: to start this hurt?
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Holding up the mirror.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I think like one of the greatest things that someone
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: ever told me is they got a big book someone
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: gave someone wanted to get sober, so they gave them
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: a big book and when you open the inside, the
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: front cover was a mirror.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: They like, that's a genius.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: They glue to mirror inside and they're like everyone else
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: is in the pop problem. It's an inside job and
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: it starts with you. And I was like, oh shit,
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: like that that really there was a.
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: There was a guy at this meeting I went to
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: years ago. He's fully tatted and he had the word
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: grateful and the word surrender but backwards on his arms.
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: And I was like, and it's just I was fixated
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: on it, like everyone's sharing. I just listened that day
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: and I barely listened to anybody because I was so
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: focused on this dude's tattoos. And after the meeting, I
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: was like, bro, I just have to ask, why are
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: your tattoos backwards? Like it's it's bothering me. He's like, well,
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, it's bothering you. But he said every morning
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: when I wake up and I'm brushing my teeth and
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: I'm getting ready for the day, in the in the mirror,
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: it's written normal. So I got obsessed with that idea.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: So the last time I was in treatment, there was
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: all these little plaques that everybody made. It was like
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: a little piece of tile and you would leave a
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: message behind. And I kept looking at all these different
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: tiles and everybody had the same quote, like multiple people
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: had the same quote, and it just said WC.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: It was like, who the hell is WC? And I
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: looked it up.
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: It was Winston Churchill, and he had a very famous
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: quote that said, if you're going through hell, keep going.
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: So I got that tattooed on my neck, but backwards,
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: so I see that every morning when I'm getting ready
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: for the day, Like, you know, doesn't matter how shitty
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: the day is or how you're feeling, just keep going.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: Oh, I've really needed this podcast today. I'm just I
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: know that I've I'm just observing and listening because I
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: feel like, maybe I this was meant to.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Be happening right now. I love that I want to
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: get a tattoo.
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: It takes two people to have a meeting, so technically
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: we're having one right now, if I really think about it,
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: technically we're having one right now.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: And that's the beauty of sobriety. I was literally coming
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: from I live in Montana.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Flying back.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I have the worst anxiety when I fly, and I've
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: been off my antidepressant now for like four months, since
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: I really feel like my systems and this is like
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: sixteen years of being on an antidepressant.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like tripping.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: Every time I go. My fucking legs go numb. I'm shaking.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I think I'm gonna I can't breathe. And the greatest
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: thing about sobriety is I know my ten am meeting
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: that starts at nine in LA I can go on
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: zoom and I literally sit there on the plane and
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: do an AA meeting. And that's like, that's the gift
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: of sobriety. We get to like do it whenever wherever,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: all over the world. There's meetings at all times. There's
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: no fucking excuse.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: No, there really is no excuse. There really isn't.
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: And again, like I said, it takes two people to
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: have a meeting. So even if you're not able to
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: physically get to one, call someone that's in the program,
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: and you're having a meeting.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's just that simple.
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: I used to have one at my house. Not yet,
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: I'm not. I'm not done with my steps yet. I've
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: just gotten extremely busy. I'm on my ninth step, which
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: I mean I was doing a ninth step over the
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: last probably three years. But I'm kind of going back
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: through who I really need to make amends with and
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: who I've already made my peace with that I just
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: don't want to reach out to.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and because there is the like I just wrote.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: Down everybody, and then I have kind of taken some
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: time to reflect and go, I really don't want to
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: talk to you or you know what, I kind of
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: made my piece already with you and and always.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Going to be.
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: Is it even going to be a beneficial conversation for
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: the other person?
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean that's the thing about doing a nice
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: step is like if you're if by if by doing
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: it is going to hurt or harm someone, then you
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: don't do it.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Exactly, so you just make a living amends.
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: But a couple of these people, I really don't care
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: if I hurt because they really just destroyed me so
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: and they're just horrible human beings.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: But again, I just don't feel the need, you know.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean once, yeah, because doing a doing
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: a ten step is you know again, that's living amends.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I'm doing that daily anyways.
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: And you know, doing an eleven step, you know that
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: whole spiritual connection, which I definitely understand more now than
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: I'm not a religious person by any means.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely a more spiritual person.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: What does your higher power look like?
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: My higher power? You know, she's awesome? No, I you
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: know I I.
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: It's all all around me always, I you know, I.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: I kind of grew up.
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I went to church a few times when I
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: was younger, but I developed this opinion of I don't
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: want to go someplace to have someone else interpolate to
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: me their version of the spoken word.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: That's their opinion.
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: That's how they see it, that's how they read it,
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: that's how they're they're obtaining it, and I'm going to
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: see it differently. If I read something and you read something,
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: we might get the same thing out of it.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: We might not. So I figured, I figured, you know what,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: I don't need that in my life, to know that
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: there is something greater than myself that has kept me
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: alive number one and has allowed me to kind of
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: come over this hump. And it's it's just a beautiful feeling,
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: you know, to just know that no matter what, I
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: can always lean on my higher power, no matter what
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: you know.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: And again, it's your higher power is whatever you want
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: it to be.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: How do you translate that with your girls? You have
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: daughters right now?
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Have two girls, yep, thirteen and nine.
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, boys are not in the conversation, well not really,
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: but there is. My oldest is now starting to talk
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: about a boy, and I'm just like God damn it.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I know crazy, No, no, no, I know it's hard.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: My best friend, though he's already in the thick of it.
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: He has my oldest daughter and his daughter are like
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: best friends. And his daughter's fourteen, mine's thirteen. And when
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: she started school this year, like met a boy and
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: it's just been full speed ahead.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: And he's just he's like, I wasn't prepared. It just
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: happened overnight.
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: He's like, she used to be into like anime and
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: freaking photography, and she was kind of a nerd and
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: she was fun and da da dah, and now it's
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: like and I told him, I said, dude, the minute
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: I went to your house one day and I saw
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: her wearing makeup, that was when it started. And then
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: once the once the hormones and everything else is going on,
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: there's no way to stop it.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: It's full it's full steam ahead.
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: And but me, I've been best friends with my best
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: friend for twenty five years, and I was like, okay,
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: I need to I I'm gonna just make up a
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: scenario that all of you have to come to my
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: house so I can meet this kid, because if he's
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: not cool in my eyes, Uncle AJ's gonna be like nah, dude, no,
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: like this this yeah.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: And he's a really really, really good kid.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: So I was like, all right, but you know, I
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: tease him constantly about this whole situation.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: And he's just he's like, you just wait, bro.
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: It's gonna come overnight. You're not going to be prepared.
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: And luckily for me, my girls do competitive dance, they sing,
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: they do all the things, and so they're preoccupied. The
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: dance schedule is the most insane schedule, way different.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Than when I was.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: By the way, good for you that you're like dedicated
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: that that ship is.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: Hard, it's insane. So they don't have time for boys
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: per se. But once they make the time, then there's
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: there's nothing more I could do. Like I had this
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: vision of my of my oldest like like a boy
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: coming to ask her out on a date or to
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: come to the house and say, hey, you know, I'm
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: here for my date with you.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: We're gonna go to the movies whatever.
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: And me opening the door shirtless with all my tattoos
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: and being like, just so you know, I went to prison.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't show that on Google.
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: All he has to do is google me and go No, dude,
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: you're in a boy band man like went to prison,
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: but actually Joey Fotillon from in Sync, he's got to girls.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: One is in college and he youngest, I think she's fifteen.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: Now. Gave me the best advice for what to say
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: to the boy that takes my daughter out for her
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: first date, which is when he comes to the door,
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: have a nice little simple conversation.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Just be like listen, you know, make sure she's back
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: at this.
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: Time, blah blah blah, and just remember whatever you do
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: to her, I'm gonna do to you.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: So is that and put the fear of God.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: She and I are single parents, so if we said that,
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: I'm sure the guy would be well that.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Sounds fuck, that's amazing.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a sixteen year old and that is hard.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: It's so hard and being single. Now they're looking at
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: me like who you bringing home and.
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: Like oh.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and they have they have an opinion like everything.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I have two girls sixteen.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: And yeah we both have two girls minor babies. Hers
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: are we share a baby daddy?
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Nice. Yeah, there's a twist. She was the.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Mistress and I was the wife and welcome to an
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: Where do I.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: And where do I? Fall in this mix, I gotta wait,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: hold on.
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: But I was the guy you just didn't know it was.
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: I had I had dark hair, then I wasn't. I
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: wasn't blonde.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: No, you're going on tour in the fall, right, You're back.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm going on my own.
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: It. Do you think that because this is your first
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: time flying solo?
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: So I did.
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm going to say yes because I I
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: released a solo project in two thousand and nine that
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: was only really seen in like parts of Southeast Asia
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: and then Europe. I toured in Europe, did a couple
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: in like Japan, but my management at the time and
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: I were not seeing eye to eye, so it never
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: really came into fruition. And it was a great album.
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: But if you listen to it today, every song sounds
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: like a battery boy song. Okay, because I didn't know
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: who I was yet, I didn't know how to not
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: write and make music that sounds like a group.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: So I was I did what I thought was what
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: people want to hear.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: So this time this is this is me, like this
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: is That's why I wanted to reintroduce the world to
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: to alex And because you know, one of the things
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: that I learned Three years ago when we finished the
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: DNA tour, my wife and I were separated, so I
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: was living on my own, so I had a little bit.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: More free time per se.
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: So I hopped in my truck and drove to Scottsdale, Arizona,
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: and I admitted myself into an outpatient program at a
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: place called the Meadows for Love and for Love.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: And Relationship Addiction because.
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: I was sober, but I wanted to get to the
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: root of like because obviously most addicts know the drinking
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: and the drugs, that's all symptomatic, that's not the real problem.
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: And I suffered from a condition that my best friend
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: calls piece of shitism. So I hated the person I was,
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: and I did everything I did because I wanted the attention.
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: I wanted the external validation. If you don't like me,
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: oh my god, what am I going to do to
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: make you like me? So self esteem was like, definitely
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: not number one on my list. So I went there,
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: supposed to stay for four weeks. I stayed for twelve weeks.
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: Fell in love with Scottsdale. I'm a big golfer too,
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: so like he was heaven Monday through Friday, I'm in
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: therapy for three hours and then golf every freaking weekend
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: in one hundred and sixteen degrees. But I learned boundaries
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: there fell in love with this woman that I have
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: to meet someday. Her name is Brene Brown. She is
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: like a motivational speaker. She is like I feel like
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: she's my second mom and I've never met her, but
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: she We watched videos of her in therapy and I'm
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: just like, oh my god, like she gets it, she
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: gets me, and I actually have a tattoo. Uh. Braving
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: is one of her mantras, which is boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault, integrity,
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: non judgment, and gratitude And I have bb down there,
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: like she really touched it.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: If you meet her. I just I said this to
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Lalla the other night.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: We were ling in, but I said, you know who
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: Brene Brown is, and she does this beautiful she Her
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: claim to famous is ted talk about shame ability, remembers
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: that she is.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: I'm dying to a wonderful woman.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: So I learned a lot from her, learn a lot
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: from my group boundaries, but the but the one thing
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: that pertained to me specifically was that okay, aj is
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: a character in a band doesn't define who I am.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't know how to separate the two for years.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: So I would come off stage and instead of turning
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: it off and just being normal, I stayed in AJ mode.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: And because I again, he was getting all the attention.
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: He was the one that everybody wanted to be around,
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: all the hanger on hers, the leeches, the fake ass people.
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: But I didn't see that, you know. But so now
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: I wanted to reinvent myself. I wanted to reintroduce the
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: world to me. And so from the EP which was HI,
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: my name is alex to the full LP, which is
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: my name is Alexander James. And that's going to be
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: my mantra from this point on, like anything I do
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: on my own is going to be under my name,
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: because you know, and I was It's funny. When I
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: put the album out, I was. I was mad because
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: I couldn't put it up on all the DSPs as
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: Alexander James because it would have been difficult for people
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: to find, right, So it still had to go under ajmclean,
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: which bothered me, and I had to do a lot
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: of about it and a lot of like reflecting, like okay,
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: don't don't bite your own hand like it's okay, But
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: it bothered me, you know. And but I go back
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: to the same scenario with like Timberlake, Like you know,
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: he was justin Timberlake of InSync right for years until now.
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: Granted he left the group, that's a different scenario. I'm
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: not I'm not leaving my boys going on record saying that.
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: But you know, at some point, god willing, there will
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: be a definitive line between the two.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: But I know that's not going to happen right out
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: the gate. And that's no.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: It takes time. Yeah, it takes a lot of time.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think it's wonderful and I think I
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: just us touching on sobriety and all of those things.
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: It does open your eyes to like getting really to
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: the root of who you are, what you want in life,
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: what makes you tick, beyond the flashing lights and the
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: articles which you know, it becomes very addicting you've been
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: in it for decades. Yeah, and I think we also are,
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: our alcoholic minds become addicted to the very high highs
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: and the low lows. Oh yeah, and once you, like
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: you said, get to the root of what makes me tick?
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: What do I care about? Why am I this way?
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: You were able to put out this album, and I
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: think I think this could very well be the start
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: of that definitive moment you're talking about.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: I definitely agree.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: You know, there's there's three songs on the album that
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: are three very pivotal phases in my life. One is
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: a song called Arizona that was inspired by my stint
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: in Arizona, and it's it's a rough lesson even if
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: you don't know me. It's rougher if you do know
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: me on a personal level, because it is it's a
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: very much a singing in the mirror reflection song. Yeah.
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: And then there's a song called Relapse, which I, in
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: sobriety did a lot of fucked up shit and you know,
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: got involved with people, places and things that I shouldn't
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: have but I was sober, but I was acting alcoholically,
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: and so that song is about that part. And even
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: after you know, Arizona and doing all this self realization stuff,
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: I still hadn't jumped into the steps. I still wasn't
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: doing doing the proper things. So of course I'm gonna
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: how I didn't relapse through this phase literally I have
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: no idea. But then the final chapter is the last
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: song on the album is a song called better Man
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: and that is where I am today and it kind
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: of encompasses lyrically everything from Arizona, Relapse and now into
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: one song, and it really is. And that's actually the
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: aim of the tour that I'm going to do in
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: the fall is the Better Man Tour. We kick off
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: in October. The official dates are going on sale on
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: Father's Day.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: So I was.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: Trying to and will you post on your Instagram people,
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: It'll be everywhere?
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I was trying to think of a like
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: a like a moment to post about it and give
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: the dates. Because I recently recently got on Twitch and
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: I did a live stream with my all Girl band
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: and I made the announcement that there is going to
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: be a tour, and then I said, I'll make the
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: announcement of the actual dates on Father's Day.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: Okay, So I have a random question that just popped
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: in my mind, which usually happens because I have a
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: d D. If I were to go on your Spotify
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: or app or wherever you get your like, what is
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: your go to song?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Like, what do you love? What kind of music are
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: you listening to?
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: I like this question like a kaleidoscope.
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: I mean, I really listened to literally everything, and I've
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: learned new styles of music over the years that I
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: never would have listened to.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: The country country is number one.
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: I was never a big country guy. I mean, who
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: didn't love Faith Faith Hill when she came out, obviously,
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: you know, But Breathe was a pop record period, you
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: know what I mean. It was on top forty radio.
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: It wasn't a country record. But I didn't really dive
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: into country until we did a duet with Florida Georgia
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: Line a few years back, and then we toured with them.
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: It was US FGL and Nelly and what That's when
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: I really kind of fell in love with because at
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: that point they had broken down the kind of stereotype
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: of doing songs with like urban artists and these types
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: of things us exactly. So that's when I was like, oh,
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: country is not country anymore.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Country is pop.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: It's Bhilly Ray Cyrus did it with who did he do?
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Little? Nas Little?
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: That was after FGL had done their song with Nelly,
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: a song called drive.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: I think it was called yes So.
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: But you guys wasn't like the first crossover of the
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: two Nelly and Tim McGrath.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I think my head, I think they did. Like, I
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: think they did something too.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: It was like Belly Ray Cyrus did something and then
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: eventually Billy Ray was way later.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I was in my twenties when that happened. The og
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: there we go.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: When was FGL and Nelly?
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: Was that in the mid two thousand, like like two thousand, No,
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: Nelly n FGL. I wonder when that was like two fourteen?
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: Maybe do you know who I.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Have the biggest girl crush on too?
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Really and I don't swing that way, but if I
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: were to swing that way, Halsey Okay.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: Said, Okay, I like it.
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: I mean no, I mean I yeah, I uh, I'm
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: trying like I It's it's weird.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: So I used to have the biggest crush on Jessica Bale.
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: And then and then now knowing her and she's married
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: to a dear friend of mine, it.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Makes it weird. It makes it weird. Uh my first
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: time meeting.
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: Her, Uh, Justin had a show at the I think
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: it was at the Forum, and I was I was
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: with my wife and we went backstage to you know,
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: say hi, to everybody. And Jess was in the dressing
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: room and I had never met her before. And my
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: wife just throws men on the bus.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: She's like, he has the biggest crush on you.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god, did your turn beat right?
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: I did?
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: I did? But then Jess was so nice. She's like, well,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: you're my favorite, You're my favorite.
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: Anyways, I'm like, oh God, I'm like, okay, well I
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: can die happy now.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: But I just met her in Bozeman for the first time.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: Hair swan because they live in they live in Montana.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: People yes, like.
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: I mean, I you know, I I think probably one
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: of the most random artists that I'm a fan of,
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: which I fell in love with when I first moved
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: to California and in two thousand, I'm a I'm one
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: of those guys that like puts twenty fours on his
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: truck and like that's just you know whatever. And I
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: was in my I think I was in my range
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: Rover and bumping loud as I can and ya and
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: sail away.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: And then there's one Carpe Carpe something, and.
• 37:48
  Speaker 5: Then also there's the one that the Fuji sampled, which
• 37:52
  Speaker 5: is that.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'll never forget this.
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: Like Hoopedie pulls up next to me on like twenty
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: six is, you know, on freaking airbags and is like
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: doing this to me because of my my you know range,
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: And I put the window down and he like lowers
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: his music and he hears say the way and he
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: puts his window right back up, and I'm like what
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: everybody loves them some and ya.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Come on, man, it's the best and yea or.
• 38:24
  Speaker 5: Like emotion heap, like I love that, like ethereal Celtic.
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: I'm into oh yeah, fuck, dude, are there? Why those
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: innocent yes bring me to my yeah song?
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: That song? Because I was, God, how old was I
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: when that sack?
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: When that song came out, there was like maybe thirteen fourteen,
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: and like there was a a woman making kind of
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: like orgasmic sounds on that song, and it really made
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: me like I was like.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Something's happening and I shouldn't be happening.
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: And I'm listening to this song and I'm like what
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: is it? Like I didn't I wasn't in touch with
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: my hormones yet and like, but that song, I'll never
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: forget that like deep breathing woman's voice and like moaning
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, what the hell is this ship was.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Enigma.
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: Every moment of this podcast, by the way, we have
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: touched on him getting in touch with his hormones. Sobriety,
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: my pants, my pants. I'm so grateful that you made
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: time for us today.
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: I mean, thank you guys for having me, honestly, and
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: we all should go to a meeting or definitely okay, wait.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Two things.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Meeting, yes, because AA comes before everything and then a concert.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: Done, meeting done.
• 39:48
  Speaker 5: And so you're in Bozeman and she's moving back in
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: on Okay, so that's where that's where she's makes sense
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: because that's where Justin lives.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, So we play pickleball at the same pickleball center,
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: the only pick a ball center, and so Riley it
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: like she volunteers for the younger kids, and they obviously
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: have younger kids, and so she.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Was playing with them and I'm like, do you know
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: who that is?
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: She's like, you know, just so wild, it's so crazy.
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: I definitely want to down the road get it, Like
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: Justin already sold me on it, but I'm like, I
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: really want to ranch. Nothing massive, but I want to
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: I want a place to go with the fam that
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: is like off the grid.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I'm going away.
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: Don't email me, don't text me unless someone dies. I
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: don't want to hear from anybody. And I love animals,
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: so I want like and I'm obsessed with goats.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I just I love goats.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, can we come.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: I want goats, I want long I want sheep.
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: I want long haired cows, but like the mini cows,
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: and I don't want uh horses are high maintenance, and
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: I do love horses, but I just want animals and
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to kill. I just want animals, just and.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not well probably yeah. I do want fresh eggs,
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: but I do not dirty. I do not like chickens.
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: Chicken birds freak me out, like birds really freaked me out.
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: I did this thing at the Playboy Mansion when it
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: was still around. I was honoring Diane Warren. This was
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: years ago, and she is a big animal conservationist and
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: mainly birds.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: She's like, loves her birds.
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: And I went there. I gave my little speech. They
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: presented her with this award, and I'm like, okay, I'm
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: gonna I'm gonna dip out. I came and did what
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: I needed to do and show my support.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: For my girl.
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: And then the press was like, oh, let's get a
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: picture of you and Diane. I'm like, okay, so I'm
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: posed next to her, and dude, I could have shipped
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: my pants. They put a cockatoo on this arm and
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: and I'm a call on this arm and I'm like,
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: literally my eyes are like this. I'm like, oh my god,
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: oh my god, oh my god, like I'm holding my breath.
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: No sudden movements, like I freaked out, like I can't.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: You're like snakes.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: If I see a snaks, you know there's.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: No clowns, absolutely not. And frogs. Frogs also things that jump.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: I don't like predictable thing.
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: Yes, I lived when I was in Orlando before I
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: moved to l A. I lived a mile and a
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: half from my mom's house. I had a frog in
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: my toilet. One afternoon, I made her drive to my
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: house to get the frog out of my toilet.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: I couldn't even you couldn't give it a flash. No,
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to kill it, but I didn't want
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: it jumping on me.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: I love that we found this out about anything that jumps.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know that tarantula's jump. I didn't know that.
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: My first My first in and rehab was at Sierra
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: Tuson and Tucson, Arizona, and it was in July. So
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: I was introduced to havevelina's, which are gnarly tarantula's. I'm
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: monsoon scorpions, centipedes, but the tarantula thing. I saw one
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: over they had this thing called the butt Hut where
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: you can smoke, and I was outside having a cigarette
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: and I saw one kind of in the pathway.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: And then I went to walk around it like wide,
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: and it reared up and jumped up like a good
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: two and.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: A half feet.
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, I'm pretty sure I blacked out and
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: then I ended up back in my room. But I
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: was like, oh hell no, I did not know that
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: they can do that. So no, And recently I was
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: at I was at a friend's daughter's birthday party and
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: she's obsessed which she has a bearded dragon, she had rats,
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: she has a tarantula. So they had this animal guy
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: come with like all these exact animals for the kids
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: to play with. In Son of a Bitch, put the
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: tarentula on my head and I I I I've never
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: been more still in my life, and I thought maybe
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: this will be like the turning point and I'll be
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: able to hold run.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: In my hair.
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: No, I whipped my head. It fell down. We're in
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: the living room of my friend's house and like we
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: can't find it.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm so sorry because there's like little six year.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Olds running around and I'm like, oh my god, I'm
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: gonna kill somebody.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Remove their teeth. I think when they're.
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they they well, they grin. I think they grind them,
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: they grind the fangs or something that happens. I don't know,
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: but I was thankfully we found it rather quickly, but
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna kill somebody's
• 44:53
  Speaker 5: kid with a tarantula.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: You know, it happens. What are you gonna do?
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: You could do?
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: Thank you for joining us on an unlikely affair.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Amber. I love you to death. I love you.
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: Thank you guys for listening to this episode. We're going
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: to catch you next week. Love y'all, Bye bye,