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Transcript

Luxradiotheatre - 186Sevenkeystobaldpate [episode 0] Broadcast 9/26/1938 · Lux Radio Theater | Old Time Radio

0:06
Speaker 1: From Hollywood, California.
0:08
Speaker 2: The Lux Radio Theater presents Jack Benny and Mary Livingston
0:11
Speaker 2: in Seven Keys to bold Pate.
0:24
Speaker 1: Nuts Presents Hollywood Tonight. The dauntless Jack Benny and the
0:27
Speaker 1: laconic Mary Livingston lead us into paths of peril and adventure, laps, chills, crooks, treasures,
0:33
Speaker 1: a damsel in distress, a mad hermit. This is only
0:36
Speaker 1: part of what Jack Benny encounters tonight in that grand
0:39
Speaker 1: comedy mystery by George M. Khan, Seven Keys to ball Pate,
0:42
Speaker 1: adapted from the novel by Earl der Vickers. You'll hear
0:46
Speaker 1: also as special guest the world renowned violinist e f
0:49
Speaker 1: from Zymbolist conducting. Our orchestra is Lois Silver's. Tonight's play
0:53
Speaker 1: is brought to you by the makers of Luck Stays.
0:56
Speaker 1: Before I introduce our producer, let me remind you that
0:59
Speaker 1: if it's thrifty to buy several big boxes of Lux
1:02
Speaker 1: Blakes at a time so you'll always have it handy
1:04
Speaker 1: in bathroom and kitchen, every box of lux Lakes means
1:08
Speaker 1: longer life for your washable nice things, kind care for
1:11
Speaker 1: your hands. You're thrifty every time you use these gentler
1:15
Speaker 1: finer flakes, and now our produce it. Ladies and gentlemen,
1:20
Speaker 1: Mister Cecil B de Mill, greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen.
1:32
Speaker 1: Before we raise our curtain, we wish to advise our
1:35
Speaker 1: listeners that if any important news bulletins on the European
1:38
Speaker 1: situation are received at the Columbia Broadcasting System headquarters, they'll
1:42
Speaker 1: be given you at the intermission during our program. Now
1:45
Speaker 1: do our play and personalities. When George Jim Cohen adapted
1:49
Speaker 1: Seven Keys to ball Fate for the stage, he had
1:51
Speaker 1: no intention of starring in it, but just before the opening,
1:54
Speaker 1: he and the leading man met with an accident. The
1:56
Speaker 1: leading man was too seriously injured to go on, so
2:00
Speaker 1: Cohen broken collar bone and all stepped into the breach.
2:03
Speaker 1: When I related these facts to Mary Livingstone, she threw
2:06
Speaker 1: back her head bravely and declared that if mister Cohen
2:09
Speaker 1: could carry on with such a handicap, she could carry
2:12
Speaker 1: on with Jack Benny, Mister Livingston. Mister Benny is not, however,
2:19
Speaker 1: without some talent. He often entertains the guests at his
2:23
Speaker 1: home with his debonair violin playing and with his sayings.
2:27
Speaker 1: He's quite a familiar figure on the streets of Beverly Hills,
2:30
Speaker 1: whizzing past the admiring spectators in his flashy Maxwell Town card,
2:36
Speaker 1: and I almost forgot. Mary always brings Jack to her
2:39
Speaker 1: radio program, and when she goes back on the air
2:42
Speaker 1: next Sunday, she'll once again try and have a place
2:44
Speaker 1: for him for the night. We've made a special treatment
2:49
Speaker 1: of Seven Keys to ball Pate, which finds mister Benny
2:52
Speaker 1: tackling one of the most difficult roles in his career.
2:54
Speaker 1: The role of Jack Benny and Miss Livingstone comes to
2:58
Speaker 1: you in her own interpretation of Mary Livingston. There's another
3:02
Speaker 1: character in our adaptation called Cecil B. De Mill. Fourteen
3:06
Speaker 1: hundred actors in Hollywood have refused my generous bribes to
3:10
Speaker 1: play the part, so there's nothing left for me to
3:12
Speaker 1: do but to play myself. This being the case, my
3:16
Speaker 1: customary duties for the evening will be assumed in part
3:19
Speaker 1: by the highly capable Melville Rowick. And now we light
3:22
Speaker 1: the stage. It's curtain time and star time as de
3:25
Speaker 1: Lux Radio Theater presents Jack Benny and Mary Livingston in
3:29
Speaker 1: Seven Keys to ball Pate with Cecil B. De Mill.
3:34
Speaker 1: Mister Rewick, will you set our scene on the lot
3:51
Speaker 1: of paramount studios in Hollywood. A building stands apart from
3:54
Speaker 1: the rest on its door the legend Cecil B. De
3:56
Speaker 1: Mill Productions Incorporated. The door has just opened. Then be
4:00
Speaker 1: himself rides quickly across the reception room toward his private office.
4:03
Speaker 1: A small army of assistants and secretaries Hindery's progress with
4:07
Speaker 1: innumerable requests. Good morning, mister de Mill, Good morning, morning Mill.
4:12
Speaker 1: I had that later, will you Joe, we'll cyb here's
4:15
Speaker 1: that script. Thanks, I'll read it tonight.
4:17
Speaker 3: Would you see mister Nils.
4:18
Speaker 1: I can't see anyone this morning. Ask him to come back.
4:20
Speaker 2: Do not now?
4:21
Speaker 1: Harry, sorry or Bill? Come into my office, will you? Okay,
4:24
Speaker 1: mister Miller, all right, all right, I'll take care of everything.
4:30
Speaker 1: Sit down, Belle. Morning miss call.
4:32
Speaker 4: Good morning, mister de Mill.
4:33
Speaker 1: Anything happened?
4:34
Speaker 4: Nothing much? Mister Henry called about that script. Frank Donnelly
4:38
Speaker 4: has a new star for you. And oh yes, mister
4:41
Speaker 4: Benny called again. Who mister Benny, Jack Benny?
4:45
Speaker 1: What did he want?
4:46
Speaker 4: The usual thing?
4:47
Speaker 5: What did you tell him the usual thing?
4:49
Speaker 4: I said you were out to lunch.
4:51
Speaker 1: I'm beginning to feel a little guilty about Jack.
4:53
Speaker 5: What's it all?
4:54
Speaker 1: About seb Well, I was a little tired one night
4:57
Speaker 1: and I I have promised i'd make a picture of them. No,
5:01
Speaker 1: he is, and he calls me up every once in
5:04
Speaker 1: a while to remind me of it.
5:05
Speaker 5: He isn't serious, is he?
5:06
Speaker 1: And that's just the trouble. He gave me a long
5:09
Speaker 1: talk about how his soul is starved in comedy. He
5:12
Speaker 1: wants to branch out into drama heavy acting part.
5:15
Speaker 5: He must be crazy. What'd you tell him?
5:16
Speaker 1: Well, I couldn't tell him the truth. It would have
5:18
Speaker 1: broken his heart not to mention paramount. So I just
5:23
Speaker 1: keep telling him. I'm still looking for the right story,
5:26
Speaker 1: but it's becoming very embarrassing.
5:27
Speaker 4: He seemed pretty discouraged this morning. Mister Demil, I really
5:31
Speaker 4: think you ought to call him. He said you could
5:33
Speaker 4: reach him at Mary Livingstone's house.
5:35
Speaker 1: No, I'm not looking for trouble. But if he calls again,
5:38
Speaker 1: I suppose I'll have to speak to him.
5:56
Speaker 3: Oh Jack, Jack, Jack, Hey, Yosha, Yes, Mary Jack. Why
6:07
Speaker 3: don't you give that cigar box of rest you've been
6:09
Speaker 3: scratching on it for the last two hours.
6:11
Speaker 5: The first place, it's not a cigar box. In the
6:13
Speaker 5: second place, I wasn't scratching. That was music, whether you
6:16
Speaker 5: like it or not.
6:17
Speaker 3: Thanks for the choice.
6:18
Speaker 5: Oh, well, that's the way you feel, I'll put it away.
6:21
Speaker 3: Oh, Jack, I didn't mean it like that. Gee, you
6:24
Speaker 3: certainly are getting cranky lately. Come over here to say hello,
6:27
Speaker 3: and every time I open my mouth he gets sore.
6:30
Speaker 3: It's the matter with you anyway.
6:32
Speaker 5: Oh, I don't know. I guess I'm in one of
6:34
Speaker 5: those moods again. I'm sorry, Mary Gosh, why doesn't de
6:40
Speaker 5: Mill call? Oh?
6:42
Speaker 3: So that's it. I knew there was a reason for
6:44
Speaker 3: that long jaw you're wearing.
6:46
Speaker 5: I'm not wearing a long jaw. Yeah, I too, Well,
6:48
Speaker 5: I saw it in Esquire. See I've called to Mill
6:54
Speaker 5: about twenty times. I'll bet that secretary never gave him
6:56
Speaker 5: the message.
6:57
Speaker 3: Jack, I hate to be a wet rag, but did
6:59
Speaker 3: you ever think that maybe mister Demill doesn't want to
7:01
Speaker 3: speak to you.
7:02
Speaker 5: Oh, don't be silly. What makes you say that?
7:04
Speaker 3: Well, he certainly goes out to lunch at funny hours.
7:07
Speaker 5: Well that doesn't prove anything. He told me himself he
7:09
Speaker 5: wanted to make a picture with me, and he wasn't lying.
7:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll bet he looked you're right square in the
7:14
Speaker 3: chest when he said it.
7:15
Speaker 5: Oh no, he didn't listen, Mary, Mister de Mill knows
7:19
Speaker 5: how I feel about comedies. We're gonna make a serious picture,
7:22
Speaker 5: something that will give me a real chance. The only
7:25
Speaker 5: thing that's holding it up is the story, and we'll
7:27
Speaker 5: have one off. I have to sit down and write
7:28
Speaker 5: it myself. I'll write something I can sync my teeth
7:31
Speaker 5: into with my idea. Is all I need is paper
7:34
Speaker 5: and pencil and teeth. See you, You don't give me
7:39
Speaker 5: credit for anything, do you?
7:40
Speaker 3: Oh Jack, Why don't you come down to earth. You're
7:42
Speaker 3: a comedian. You made your name in comedy and you
7:45
Speaker 3: ought to stick to it. This other stuff isn't for you.
7:48
Speaker 5: What do you mean it isn't? I'm an actor? Ain't
7:51
Speaker 5: I aren't? I first lost and always I'm an actor.
7:56
Speaker 5: Here I am laying around wasting my talents because nobody
7:59
Speaker 5: will give me a chance. De Mill makes the plaines men,
8:01
Speaker 5: and he uses Gary Cooper. Then he turns around and
8:04
Speaker 5: makes the buccaneer and uses Frederick March. What they want
8:08
Speaker 5: with me at Paramount? I don't know you.
8:10
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even ask so, and I certainly wouldn't keep
8:14
Speaker 3: pestering mister de Mill all the time.
8:15
Speaker 5: I'm not pestering him. Is just as anxious to do
8:18
Speaker 5: this as I am. I'll give him a ring right now. Hello,
8:22
Speaker 5: give me Hollywood. Oh six seven four six please, it's
8:26
Speaker 5: probably out, but I'll take a chance. Hello mister de
8:30
Speaker 5: Mill's office. Well, this is Jack Benny speaking. Is mister
8:34
Speaker 5: de Mill back from lunch? Yet? Oh? He is? Well?
8:38
Speaker 5: Can I speak to him? Thank you? There you are Mary? Yeah,
8:42
Speaker 5: I told you was just as anxious. Hello, Well, how
8:45
Speaker 5: are you, mister de Miller? This is Jack Benny. Oh
8:48
Speaker 5: I'm pretty good. Say listen, I just called Mary. Oh
8:52
Speaker 5: she's fine, she's fine, say mister de Mill. I've been
8:55
Speaker 5: thinking about that story.
8:57
Speaker 1: What's that?
8:59
Speaker 5: Why? No, No, I haven't got a cold. Well maybe
9:03
Speaker 5: just a little cold. Look, mister de Mill, I've been
9:06
Speaker 5: thinking about that story. Huh huh h hot lemonade? Uh yes, yes,
9:11
Speaker 5: I'll do that, say mister de Mill. I've been thinking
9:14
Speaker 5: of quinine. Well I don't think it's that bad. Oh
9:19
Speaker 5: is that so? Uh huh uh huh No, no sneezing,
9:26
Speaker 5: uh uh huh?
9:28
Speaker 3: Ask him what's good for falling hair?
9:30
Speaker 5: Quiet? Uh huh? Well, thanks, mister de mill But look
9:35
Speaker 5: what I called you up about. Oh it did? They
9:37
Speaker 5: fixed your right up? Uh? Well, thanks very much, mister
9:40
Speaker 5: de mill Yeah, goodbye. No wait, wait what I wanted? Hello? Hello?
9:46
Speaker 5: You imagine that we were cut off?
9:56
Speaker 6: Good morning, cecil be de Milk Productions. I'm sorry, mister
9:58
Speaker 6: de Millton conference. Mister Mill is in conference.
10:03
Speaker 1: I'm still not satisfied. Before I start casting a picture,
10:06
Speaker 1: I want to know that the story is right, and
10:08
Speaker 1: this story suddenly isn't. It's a perfect part for Gary Cooper,
10:10
Speaker 1: mister de mill The character is all right, yes, but
10:12
Speaker 1: he doesn't do anything. What is it, miss Cole.
10:15
Speaker 4: I hate to disturb you, but Jack Benny is here.
10:18
Speaker 1: Jack Benny, didn't you tell him I was in a
10:20
Speaker 1: story conference, Yes, sir, but.
10:22
Speaker 4: It didn't do much good. He thinks it's about a
10:24
Speaker 4: story for him.
10:25
Speaker 1: I was afraid of that. Well send him in.
10:28
Speaker 4: Yes, sir, come mister Benny.
10:30
Speaker 5: Oh thanks, thanks, But hello CEV, how are you no?
10:33
Speaker 1: I pull through? Sit down? Jack?
10:35
Speaker 5: Thanks? You know Mary, don't you?
10:36
Speaker 1: Of course I do. Glad to see you. Mary.
10:38
Speaker 3: I just want you to know, mister demil that I'm
10:40
Speaker 3: not here my own free will. He dragged me.
10:43
Speaker 5: Oh stop it, Mary Yullo. Cev Erry thinks I'm making
10:47
Speaker 5: a pest out of myself. You better tell her.
10:49
Speaker 1: I don't think that's necessary.
10:51
Speaker 5: Oh well, how's it going? Cv ms Cole told me
10:55
Speaker 5: you were having a story conference. That sounds like pretty
10:58
Speaker 5: good news, and.
10:59
Speaker 1: It might be we had a story to confer about
11:01
Speaker 1: nothing doing it Jack?
11:03
Speaker 5: Oh oh, I see, Well that's too bad.
11:08
Speaker 1: You know, Jack, I've been thinking here, you and I
11:11
Speaker 1: have been stalling around, wasting all your time, and we're
11:15
Speaker 1: not getting any place. Maybe you ought to try some
11:17
Speaker 1: other producer.
11:19
Speaker 5: What you mean, walk out on you. I'm not built
11:24
Speaker 5: that way, mister de Mill. I'm not a quitter. I'm
11:27
Speaker 5: the kind of an actor who sticks. What I said sticks.
11:37
Speaker 5: I'll look, mister de Mill, I don't care what happens.
11:39
Speaker 5: I'm with you right to the end.
11:41
Speaker 1: Well that's that's very kind of you, Jack.
11:43
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna let a little thing like a story
11:45
Speaker 5: lick us not if I have to write one myself.
11:48
Speaker 1: Just like that. Huh.
11:49
Speaker 5: Well, sure I can do it all right, after all,
11:52
Speaker 5: I've had some experience, you know.
11:54
Speaker 1: Well, it'll take you quite a while. Say, maybe it's
11:58
Speaker 1: not such a bad idea at that, of course it
12:00
Speaker 1: is no no. Now you run along and write that story, Jack,
12:04
Speaker 1: and I'll give you plenty of time to do it. Okay, Well,
12:07
Speaker 1: I'm going out to lunch. I'll see you in a
12:09
Speaker 1: couple of months.
12:09
Speaker 3: What are you gonna eat a whale?
12:11
Speaker 5: Mary? Now look look CB, I'll look at her. I
12:15
Speaker 5: don't need a couple of months to write a story.
12:17
Speaker 5: When I get started out and I'll probably knock it
12:19
Speaker 5: out in a couple of days, one day, if I'm
12:21
Speaker 5: in the mood, Well, what's the matter. You don't believe
12:24
Speaker 5: I could do it?
12:24
Speaker 1: Eh, a complete scenario in twenty four hours. I don't
12:27
Speaker 1: believe anyone could do it?
12:28
Speaker 5: Oh you don't, all right, mister de mill I'll tell
12:30
Speaker 5: you what I'll do. I'll start a story tonight. If
12:33
Speaker 5: I finish it in twenty four hours, will you produce it?
12:35
Speaker 1: No, it'd have to be good.
12:36
Speaker 5: I'll take care of that. Will you produce it?
12:39
Speaker 1: If it's a good story, why not? I'll tell you
12:41
Speaker 1: something else. If you can write a complete and original
12:44
Speaker 1: story in twenty four hours, I'll let you play the
12:47
Speaker 1: lead in it.
12:47
Speaker 5: Mary. You heard that. You heard what he said?
12:50
Speaker 3: You're letting yourself in for it, mister Demil, I don't
12:53
Speaker 3: think so.
12:53
Speaker 1: It's a mental and physical impossibility.
12:55
Speaker 7: That's Jack, all right, you'll find out cb ha ha,
13:03
Speaker 7: so will you, JB.
13:04
Speaker 5: All I need is a quiet place to work, and
13:06
Speaker 5: I may have to go out of town.
13:07
Speaker 1: That's all right with me. Any place you.
13:09
Speaker 5: Want, Okay.
13:11
Speaker 1: Now, let's see, as a matter of fact, Jack, if
13:14
Speaker 1: you really want a quiet place, you could use my
13:17
Speaker 1: place up on ball Paint where ball Paint Mountain. It's
13:21
Speaker 1: an old house I picked up a couple of years ago,
13:23
Speaker 1: but I've never lived there. And no one can bother
13:25
Speaker 1: you because no one else can get in. There's only
13:28
Speaker 1: one key in existence, and I'll give that to you.
13:31
Speaker 5: Only one key. Eh. That sounds great?
13:34
Speaker 1: Here it is, Yeah, that's the only key to ball Pate.
13:37
Speaker 5: I'll say, where is this place? I mean, how do
13:40
Speaker 5: I get there?
13:40
Speaker 1: Well, it's it's on top of ball Paint Mountain, about
13:43
Speaker 1: seventeen miles from the village of ball Paint. You'll probably
13:46
Speaker 1: have to cut your way through the snow drifts. But
13:48
Speaker 1: once you get there, you'll love it. The only thing
13:50
Speaker 1: you'll hear is a couple of hoot owls, the moaning
13:52
Speaker 1: of the wind. What no radio, No one ever goes
13:56
Speaker 1: near there. It's an ideal place to work.
13:58
Speaker 5: All right, the bets on. I'll go pack now and
14:00
Speaker 5: i'll eat for ball Peyton. An hour good.
14:02
Speaker 1: But remember Jack, a complete and original scenario scenario in
14:06
Speaker 1: twenty four hours.
14:07
Speaker 5: Listen, listen to Mill. If I don't bring you back
14:09
Speaker 5: a complete and original story in twenty four hours, My
14:12
Speaker 5: name ain't Jack.
14:13
Speaker 3: Benny, confidentially, mister de Mill, it ain't.
14:16
Speaker 7: Oh, oh, listen did mister Benny?
14:26
Speaker 1: Here's this ball Pete? You got that key right here?
14:31
Speaker 5: Say? It's kind of dark up this way, isn't it? There?
14:34
Speaker 1: Sure is? Blending me?
14:35
Speaker 8: Is the caretakers in this place? If we don't get
14:38
Speaker 8: over mourn two or three times a year?
14:39
Speaker 3: If you asked me, that's yours three times too much?
14:42
Speaker 8: Are you hastepling a heia going in, mister Benny, I'll
14:46
Speaker 8: make a late war. Ought to be an old oil
14:48
Speaker 8: lamp around here somewhere.
14:49
Speaker 3: Well, hurry, Jed, it's black as pitch. See, mister Benny.
14:54
Speaker 4: You ain't really sit on the staying here.
14:56
Speaker 9: All night, are you?
14:57
Speaker 5: Hi? Certainly am missus Waller, But you don't I have
15:00
Speaker 5: to stay do you well in a way, why not?
15:04
Speaker 3: Why not?
15:05
Speaker 5: Jaed?
15:07
Speaker 9: Yes, why not?
15:08
Speaker 5: I'll tell you why not?
15:09
Speaker 8: Mister Benn in the heship, don't need to go worrying
15:12
Speaker 8: him with all those tails. Why it's twenty years of
15:15
Speaker 8: more since, oh man Chromat passed away. I never did
15:20
Speaker 8: believe in ghosts in away.
15:22
Speaker 5: Say, who was this old Kromat? He owned this place?
15:26
Speaker 8: May Heaven help him, but he's dead, not dead and gone,
15:29
Speaker 8: and he's graved these twenty years in his grave when
15:32
Speaker 8: he ain't out of his in thehap.
15:36
Speaker 5: Oh, it's all right, mister Waller. I'm I'm not very
15:39
Speaker 5: much afraid of ghosts, of course, sheed.
15:40
Speaker 10: Of course.
15:42
Speaker 8: I never would to believe the word of it myself,
15:45
Speaker 8: except for what happened to the last fella that stayed here.
15:48
Speaker 1: Would you like to hear about it?
15:50
Speaker 8: Well, not particularly well, twiss A night just like this
15:55
Speaker 8: black is a cruise feather with the wind a howl
15:58
Speaker 8: and the moving.
15:59
Speaker 1: Through the tree just like now.
16:03
Speaker 8: Yes, I guess that's worry.
16:04
Speaker 5: No one never heard his screams you see here here?
16:06
Speaker 5: Stop it, stop it. I don't want to hear any
16:09
Speaker 5: more about it. I got a story to write here
16:12
Speaker 5: and by heaven, I'll write or my name ain't. Now
16:15
Speaker 5: get out of here. Both of you go on scat
16:17
Speaker 5: and then you yes, I'm set on staying.
16:22
Speaker 3: Huh, come on, then, Jed, we can go.
16:25
Speaker 5: Our conscience is clear.
16:28
Speaker 8: Goodbye, mister, goodbye, well goodbye.
16:34
Speaker 5: Hmm. Let's see. The scene is in the library at night.
16:49
Speaker 5: The girl walks in suddenly discovers, Yeah, that's it with me?
16:58
Speaker 5: Who's that? Who's out there? Who's outside that door? Why
17:05
Speaker 5: are you Morgan?
17:06
Speaker 1: She's talking here?
17:09
Speaker 5: Who are you?
17:09
Speaker 8: It's okay, Morgan, I'm Cookie Bland.
17:12
Speaker 5: That's fine, but I'm not Morgan. How'd you get in
17:14
Speaker 5: here anyway?
17:15
Speaker 1: Boy? Come to the door.
17:17
Speaker 5: Yeah I noticed that, but I happen to have the
17:19
Speaker 5: only key to that door.
17:20
Speaker 1: Oh that's so.
17:21
Speaker 5: What do you think this thing is a crochet needle? Oh?
17:25
Speaker 5: So you've got one too. What are you doing here.
17:28
Speaker 1: Carrying that shatter?
17:29
Speaker 8: You know?
17:30
Speaker 1: I was supposed to meet you here?
17:31
Speaker 5: You come for the dough? Didn't you the dough?
17:34
Speaker 1: For sure? Hey? Yeah, you're correct, that's safe yet?
17:38
Speaker 5: Why no, say, what is it Morgan? My name isn't Morgan.
17:42
Speaker 5: I'm Jack Benny. What you heard me? Jack Benny? Oh?
17:45
Speaker 1: I'm jilling with a screwball.
17:46
Speaker 5: Huh oh, listen, go away. Well, yeah, I've got a
17:50
Speaker 5: story to write. I'm right in the middle of a plot. Yeah.
17:52
Speaker 8: Well, if you ain't Morgan, you're gonna be in the
17:54
Speaker 8: middle of another kind of a plot. And that don't have.
17:57
Speaker 5: No happy ending. Are you talking about? Stick them up, pals,
18:01
Speaker 5: Stick them up, stick them up. I'll blow you to
18:04
Speaker 5: the wall. Hey, you listen, what's your Somebody else is
18:08
Speaker 5: trying to get in. They told me there was only
18:10
Speaker 5: one key to this ship. Shut up, look your screwball.
18:13
Speaker 5: I'm going to hide in the next room.
18:14
Speaker 8: See and you get him out of here, and don't
18:17
Speaker 8: met you're looking about me being his seat, because if
18:19
Speaker 8: you do, it's quittens.
18:21
Speaker 5: You understand quittens quittance?
18:24
Speaker 2: Right?
18:29
Speaker 5: Good evening, well, good evening. Who are you? Who are
18:33
Speaker 5: you now? Now?
18:35
Speaker 3: I asked for Oh, never mind that. How did you
18:37
Speaker 3: get in here?
18:38
Speaker 5: No trouble at all. I had a key?
18:40
Speaker 3: You lie? There was only one? Keep aleball, pay the knight.
18:43
Speaker 5: Have it well? It sure gets around now. Listen, miss,
18:48
Speaker 5: I'm a very busy man. I came here. My name
18:51
Speaker 5: is Jack Benny. I think please, this is no time
18:54
Speaker 5: for talks. All right, then have it your own way.
18:56
Speaker 5: My name isn't Jack Benny. It's Morgan Mark. Yes, Morgan,
19:00
Speaker 5: put up your hands, put them up. Say this is
19:03
Speaker 5: getting a little bit monotonous.
19:05
Speaker 3: I am going to kill you.
19:06
Speaker 5: Mister Markay wait a minute, don't you I'm not Morgan.
19:09
Speaker 5: I only said that because the other fellow told me
19:11
Speaker 5: if I wasn't Morgan.
19:12
Speaker 3: What other fellow?
19:13
Speaker 11: Uh huh what the other fellow are someone else here?
19:17
Speaker 5: Oh? No, no, No, it's a fellow I met last week.
19:20
Speaker 5: He's uh, he's in the curtain business. But I'm really
19:26
Speaker 5: I'm not Morgan. You gotta believe me very well. It
19:30
Speaker 5: is good for you that you spoke in time. Oh
19:33
Speaker 5: thank you.
19:34
Speaker 1: Wow.
19:35
Speaker 5: Maybe you'll tell me what this is all about. I mean,
19:37
Speaker 5: why do you want to shoot mister Morgan?
19:39
Speaker 3: Why because he is.
19:40
Speaker 11: A beast, Because he is planning to rob me of
19:42
Speaker 11: my inheritance. Listen, do you know who I am? My
19:46
Speaker 11: name is Krumit, Rita Krumit.
19:49
Speaker 5: Not one of the grave walking Crumitts.
19:51
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I see someone has told you.
19:54
Speaker 11: But my grandfather, Yes, casually, twenty years ago, my grandfather
19:59
Speaker 11: died very mysteriously when he died, he left obera one
20:04
Speaker 11: hundred thousand dollars.
20:06
Speaker 3: No one ever received a penny of it.
20:08
Speaker 5: Do you know why you forgot to put stamps on
20:10
Speaker 5: the envelopes? No?
20:12
Speaker 3: No one knew where it was.
20:14
Speaker 11: But recently some new factor come to light, facts which
20:18
Speaker 11: proved definitely that the money is still in existence, that.
20:21
Speaker 5: Is buried, burying here here on this very house, one
20:25
Speaker 5: hundred thousand dollars in this house.
20:27
Speaker 3: Yes, and it is all mine, all mine, you hear faintly.
20:33
Speaker 3: But a man named Morgan knows of these two.
20:35
Speaker 11: He is planning to come here to take the money,
20:37
Speaker 11: to rob me, or you must help me.
20:40
Speaker 5: Well, I'd like to, yes, but I have a story
20:43
Speaker 5: to write and I've only got about three minutes. Who
20:53
Speaker 5: is that? I don't know, and don't introduce me.
20:59
Speaker 11: Look, look, there is someone coming down the stairs.
21:02
Speaker 5: He's carrying a lanceho down there? Who's down there?
21:06
Speaker 3: Shall we answer him?
21:08
Speaker 5: Uh? Miss Kronach, did your grandfather carry a lantern? Never?
21:14
Speaker 5: Was he a tall, thin man, all bent over with
21:16
Speaker 5: a long gray beard. No. Then there's a stranger in
21:20
Speaker 5: the house.
21:21
Speaker 1: Who's there?
21:22
Speaker 5: I say, it's us? Are you doing here? Who's that woman?
21:26
Speaker 1: I don't like women.
21:27
Speaker 5: Now just a minute, my friend, if you'll come out
21:29
Speaker 5: from behind that beard, I'd like to ask a couple
21:31
Speaker 5: of questions myself. I mean, how did you get in here?
21:33
Speaker 5: I came to the back door. There is no back door.
21:36
Speaker 3: I made one.
21:42
Speaker 5: It wasn't that funny.
21:46
Speaker 3: I know who he is now.
21:48
Speaker 5: She is the hermit, a bullpit mountain.
21:50
Speaker 3: He's crazy, a miniac.
21:52
Speaker 5: Oh so you're a hermit. Eh, yes I am. I
21:55
Speaker 5: live alone. I live alone, but I don't like it.
21:59
Speaker 12: Get that one out of here. I can't stand women.
22:01
Speaker 12: I hate women.
22:02
Speaker 5: I hate all women. How about heady lamar? I don't
22:05
Speaker 5: like cry that boy.
22:06
Speaker 12: You are nuts, mister Benny, Please do not joke with him.
22:14
Speaker 5: They're coming? Do you hear the dumb writ They're coming?
22:20
Speaker 12: Legions are Panegians marching, marching to sing Legions and Panegians,
22:27
Speaker 12: and they're all dead.
22:34
Speaker 11: That man, I have heard of him.
22:36
Speaker 5: He is very dangerous.
22:37
Speaker 3: There's no telling what he will do if he comes back.
22:40
Speaker 3: We mussume of him.
22:41
Speaker 5: Yeah, if I come back, humor me, no, no, do
22:44
Speaker 5: not go.
22:45
Speaker 3: Please, you must have been me alone.
22:46
Speaker 5: Now. Look, look, I came here to write a story.
22:51
Speaker 8: There is someone at the doorgain.
22:53
Speaker 3: Someone is trying to get in.
22:54
Speaker 5: It's about time somebody try to get out.
22:56
Speaker 3: I must not be seen here.
22:57
Speaker 11: I will be up in the attic. Do not bread?
23:04
Speaker 5: Hello, Jack, Marry.
23:06
Speaker 3: You would you expect Corrigan?
23:10
Speaker 5: Why not? How'd you open that door with a key?
23:13
Speaker 5: Why that's ridiculous. Don't you know there's only one? Only
23:16
Speaker 5: four keys in existence?
23:17
Speaker 3: Well mine makes five. I didn't want to disturb you,
23:20
Speaker 3: so when I came to the village, I barred it
23:22
Speaker 3: from the.
23:22
Speaker 5: Grocer, a fine place that Demil sent me to wait
23:25
Speaker 5: till I see him again. What'd you come up here for? Anyway?
23:28
Speaker 3: Well, don't look so annoyed. I got worried about you.
23:31
Speaker 3: I thought of you up here all alone, and well
23:34
Speaker 3: I thought you might like some company.
23:35
Speaker 5: Company. Got more company now than a sweep steak winner. Mary,
23:39
Speaker 5: This is no place for you. You got to leave
23:41
Speaker 5: right now.
23:41
Speaker 3: What do you mean leave?
23:42
Speaker 5: I just got here, I know, but you gotta go now.
23:44
Speaker 5: I don't ask questions.
23:45
Speaker 3: Please are you trying to get rid of me?
23:47
Speaker 4: Oh?
23:47
Speaker 5: For yes, I'm trying to get rid of you?
23:50
Speaker 3: Why?
23:50
Speaker 5: Mary? Will you please do what I say?
23:52
Speaker 3: Not until I know what's behind all this. What's going
23:54
Speaker 3: on here? Anyway?
23:55
Speaker 5: There's nothing going on here? Nothing?
24:04
Speaker 3: Well, well, boy meets girl?
24:12
Speaker 5: Are you here here? What's the matter now that many
24:15
Speaker 5: tried to kill me?
24:16
Speaker 3: He's mad.
24:16
Speaker 11: You've got to help me, stay in me.
24:18
Speaker 3: I can't stand me here.
24:19
Speaker 5: No, stop stop, it's all right, it's all I'll take
24:22
Speaker 5: care of you. Just calm yourself now, every everything's going
24:26
Speaker 5: to be all right.
24:27
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you, Oh Jack. Who's the foreigner?
24:32
Speaker 5: Her name is Rita Krumit and she's in a lot
24:34
Speaker 5: of trouble. I'm trying to help her out this crummit.
24:36
Speaker 5: This is Mary Livingstone.
24:38
Speaker 3: How you do? I'm very pleased to meet you. I'll
24:40
Speaker 3: bet you are. So. This is a story you were
24:43
Speaker 3: gonna write?
24:43
Speaker 5: Eh, well I started.
24:45
Speaker 3: I thought there was some reason why you wanted to
24:46
Speaker 3: get rid of me. Listen, Oh, don't try to make excuses.
24:49
Speaker 3: It's too bad. I happened to come up here, isn't it.
24:51
Speaker 3: But I'm glad I did. Glad I found out about
24:53
Speaker 3: you before it's too late.
24:54
Speaker 5: Mary, are you crazy? I never saw this woman before
24:56
Speaker 5: in my life.
24:57
Speaker 3: And what is she doing here?
24:58
Speaker 5: I'll tell you what she's doing? She can't here after
25:00
Speaker 5: after one hundred thousand dollars.
25:02
Speaker 3: Oh bak night.
25:04
Speaker 5: Now look Mary, this money, well.
25:06
Speaker 3: You can't pull it all over my eyes. It's all
25:08
Speaker 3: off between us. Jack. This is the end. Take miss
25:11
Speaker 3: Crumpet and go.
25:12
Speaker 5: It's not crumpet, it's crummet.
25:13
Speaker 3: Well she certainly looks it.
25:15
Speaker 5: Mary. Look, this is silly. It's her money and she
25:17
Speaker 5: came here to get it. Now there's a man named
25:19
Speaker 5: Morgan who's trying to take it away from her, and
25:20
Speaker 5: there's a fellow named Kokie Bland who's hiding in the
25:22
Speaker 5: other room, and he's trying to get it. Hey, I
25:25
Speaker 5: wait a minute, Bland, wait a second. I didn't mean
25:27
Speaker 5: to tell her, Really I didn't. It just slipped up.
25:29
Speaker 5: Come on all you no, look what you've done. Mary.
25:32
Speaker 5: I hope you're satisfied.
25:33
Speaker 1: I warned.
25:33
Speaker 8: You're not just squealed, didn't I I warns your pal.
25:37
Speaker 8: But you're double across me. See, and now I'm gonna
25:40
Speaker 8: lump your dumplings. You're gonna want lump your dumplings. You're
25:43
Speaker 8: gonna lump my dumplings.
25:45
Speaker 3: Jack, Jack, what does he mean?
25:47
Speaker 5: I'm not sure, but if it's what I think it is,
25:49
Speaker 5: you better shake them off. Balls out of your old
25:51
Speaker 5: black dress.
26:03
Speaker 1: We return in just a moment to the second act
26:05
Speaker 1: of seven Keys to ball Fate, starring Jack Benny, Mary
26:07
Speaker 1: Livingston and Cecil B. De Mill. Now for a brief intermission,
26:11
Speaker 1: during which we overhear your friends, the Browning family in
26:14
Speaker 1: their living room. Mister Browning is discovered checking over the
26:16
Speaker 1: month's bills. Dot sits by the window sewing. Betty has
26:19
Speaker 1: the radio tuned in to flat Foot Flugi, while Dad
26:22
Speaker 1: is mainly trying to add a column of figures.
26:28
Speaker 13: Wyatt, Whyatt soon enough that I have to pay the bills?
26:33
Speaker 10: Do I have to add them up in a madhouse?
26:35
Speaker 3: To what built Dad?
26:36
Speaker 13: What bills? These bills? What on earth does this family do?
26:40
Speaker 13: As stockings?
26:41
Speaker 3: We hang them up with Christmas and wait for Santa Claus.
26:43
Speaker 13: You're looking at Santa Claus right now, But I can't
26:46
Speaker 13: be Santa Claus on stockings much longer. In fact, I
26:49
Speaker 13: don't think i'll buy another pair until you tell me
26:51
Speaker 13: why you can't make them last.
26:53
Speaker 3: Why dead stockings just wear out? They pop runs and.
26:57
Speaker 9: Old Betty of you'd only war your stockings to wear
27:00
Speaker 9: I told you, yeah, Dot, I know every night in
27:03
Speaker 9: lux don't forget the lucks. It does make a difference.
27:06
Speaker 9: Be my stockings last lots longer than yours. On account
27:10
Speaker 9: of this elasticity you're always talking about. I suppose stockings
27:13
Speaker 9: should stretch and then spring back.
27:15
Speaker 1: I wish this budget would.
27:17
Speaker 9: Honestly, Betty, it's dope. Be the war stockings the way
27:20
Speaker 9: you do. Come on, be a good egg, use lucks
27:23
Speaker 9: and help dad out with the bill.
27:24
Speaker 1: Is somebody in this family actually going to do something.
27:27
Speaker 10: To help me?
27:28
Speaker 5: Mother? Mother?
27:29
Speaker 10: Come quick.
27:31
Speaker 5: It's a miracle, man, it's what. It is a miracle.
27:34
Speaker 1: Yes. The girl who wears the stockings and the man
27:37
Speaker 1: who pays the bills are both thankful for lux Flakes.
27:40
Speaker 1: They cut down on costly runs and protect the beauty
27:43
Speaker 1: and fit of your stockings.
27:44
Speaker 5: Too.
27:45
Speaker 1: Wash your stockings after every wearing in gentle lux Flakes
27:49
Speaker 1: to save money. Buy the big box. We continue with
27:52
Speaker 1: Seven Keys to Ball Pat starring Jack Benny, Mary Livingston
27:55
Speaker 1: and Cecil B. De Mill. A few minutes have passed
28:05
Speaker 1: in the Old House on baltpap Muntain. The situation remains
28:07
Speaker 1: unchanged and Jack is still unshocked. Pacha Crummit, Mary and
28:11
Speaker 1: Jack are seated in a row against the wall, Land
28:15
Speaker 1: covers them with an automatic.
28:16
Speaker 8: And I don't want nobody to make any force move.
28:18
Speaker 8: See if anybody bets an eyelasher.
28:21
Speaker 3: You know what your lump is? Dumplings?
28:23
Speaker 1: Right?
28:24
Speaker 5: Keep quiet, Mary?
28:25
Speaker 3: Well that's what he said he'd did, didn't he he
28:27
Speaker 3: was gonna lump your dumplings?
28:28
Speaker 5: Well you don't have to remind him of it.
28:30
Speaker 8: Oh, worry, screwball, I'd change my mind about dud. I'm
28:33
Speaker 8: gonna wait here for Morgan.
28:34
Speaker 5: Well I can wait if you can.
28:36
Speaker 1: Morgan, is he be nobody?
28:37
Speaker 5: Yes, you, sister.
28:38
Speaker 3: He tells to my money, but he won't he won't
28:41
Speaker 3: to you.
28:41
Speaker 11: I'll get that money to night.
28:42
Speaker 8: If it is the last thing I do, I lay
28:44
Speaker 8: one finger on it, and I will be Hey, what is.
28:46
Speaker 3: All this about money? What's everyone doing up here? Anyway?
28:49
Speaker 5: Oh? She came up here for some money, and this
28:51
Speaker 5: guy came up ahead of her. I came up to
28:53
Speaker 5: write a story. You came to keep me company. Not
28:55
Speaker 5: one of us had sense enough to bring sandwich shit. Well,
28:59
Speaker 5: why don't you all go home and leave me alone?
29:00
Speaker 5: Shut up? But I won't shut up. You can't intimidate
29:03
Speaker 5: me anyway, not until Morgan gets.
29:06
Speaker 8: Here, maybe I won wait for Morgan. See, maybe I'll
29:10
Speaker 8: break the rules for once and let you have it
29:13
Speaker 8: right now here stop.
29:14
Speaker 5: Put that gun down. Put it down.
29:16
Speaker 12: Everybody said, where you are? I got your come back?
29:19
Speaker 2: Look it's the Hermitt think I say, oh.
29:23
Speaker 5: Nuts, they're smarty pants.
29:26
Speaker 3: Hey Jack, who's the guy with a long beard?
29:29
Speaker 5: That's the hermit? Mary? Hi a Hermi?
29:32
Speaker 3: What what he looks like?
29:33
Speaker 5: I'm not going to get a lawnmowar just for that.
29:35
Speaker 5: Oh sis, woman? Why is here now? Now? Hermie? Control yourself.
29:39
Speaker 5: You certainly showed up at the right time. Where'd you
29:41
Speaker 5: get that gun?
29:42
Speaker 12: That's none of your business. I heard what you said.
29:45
Speaker 12: Appear after all? Promis money? Well you won't get it. None,
29:49
Speaker 12: nothing will get it.
29:52
Speaker 5: Listen, look look, I don't even want the money. All
29:55
Speaker 5: I want is to be left alone, that's all. And
29:57
Speaker 5: this guy here was gonna shoot me. Oh we are? Hey,
30:00
Speaker 5: Well he won't. There you see, mister blam I make
30:03
Speaker 5: you shoot you myself?
30:04
Speaker 3: What there you see? Mister Blair?
30:07
Speaker 5: Quiet? Listen, harmy, look be reasonable. What did I ever
30:10
Speaker 5: do to you? You brought these women in here?
30:12
Speaker 3: Oh we did?
30:13
Speaker 5: I did not? He did too.
30:15
Speaker 8: Usion here honey, I heard the whole thing. This dam
30:18
Speaker 8: came here for the door in this year. Guy promised
30:20
Speaker 8: to get it. You have a couple of cups and a fine.
30:23
Speaker 1: Wi show like Geve.
30:24
Speaker 5: I told him right now, Harmie, don't listen to him.
30:26
Speaker 5: He's crazy. He surely is. He's stark, raving mad.
30:29
Speaker 12: Tell him I shake brother, Sha, gosh.
30:36
Speaker 3: Stop shaking, Jack. You're not in it. Go on, Harmy,
30:39
Speaker 3: Let all right, have it right now, right now?
30:41
Speaker 5: Why not you keep out of this. If he wants
30:43
Speaker 5: to wait a little, that's his business.
30:44
Speaker 1: On, honey, give it to him.
30:45
Speaker 5: No, we must wait, that's right. We gotta wait for Morgan,
30:50
Speaker 5: not from Morgant. We wait until midnight.
30:54
Speaker 12: I'll sit here and watch you squam. Then then when
30:58
Speaker 12: we hear the old village clocks sing me hour seven
31:02
Speaker 12: eight nine, ken eleven.
31:06
Speaker 5: Homie, you can't do that. You can't put a man down,
31:09
Speaker 5: cold blood. Why you don't know me, You don't even
31:11
Speaker 5: know who I am. You can't do it, harm me.
31:14
Speaker 5: I tell you can't do it. Take up your head,
31:19
Speaker 5: Come on up with him now. I know somebody's selling
31:23
Speaker 5: keys outside. Put that gun down, Santa Claus. I'm taking
31:27
Speaker 5: charge here, I don't move anybody. Brother. I don't know
31:31
Speaker 5: who you are, but you certainly are a life saver.
31:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, hello Bland, Hi am Morgan Morgan? What are you
31:39
Speaker 1: laughing at?
31:40
Speaker 3: Hello Morgan?
31:41
Speaker 5: Mary?
31:42
Speaker 1: What's going on here?
31:42
Speaker 5: Blan?
31:43
Speaker 8: Why don't no boysh I'd come up here like you
31:45
Speaker 8: told me too. And I find this guy punning a
31:47
Speaker 8: typewriter initiate.
31:48
Speaker 5: Dame walks in and.
31:49
Speaker 1: Chester So you're here?
31:52
Speaker 5: Well what of it?
31:53
Speaker 1: You double crossing little snake?
31:54
Speaker 5: Say you can't talk to miss Kromit like that crumit.
31:58
Speaker 5: That's a laugh.
32:00
Speaker 1: Do you know who this dame is?
32:02
Speaker 3: If she's Miss America, I'll scream quiet.
32:05
Speaker 5: Her name is Nolan, Rita Nolan. She's the slickest little crook.
32:09
Speaker 1: In the business.
32:09
Speaker 3: What do you mean? Crook? And money belongs to anyone.
32:11
Speaker 12: Who finds nobody will find me because it's mine, every
32:14
Speaker 12: penny of it mine.
32:15
Speaker 5: Keep your mouth shut, put up your hands, everybody, me too,
32:18
Speaker 5: Yeah you too?
32:19
Speaker 1: Keep him there? You're here?
32:20
Speaker 5: Yes, me a plan. I want to speak to you. Okay, boy,
32:23
Speaker 5: the rest of you are sit tight. I got my
32:24
Speaker 5: eyes on all of you. Phew, see Mary. I guess
32:29
Speaker 5: we're in a tough spot. I wish I had a gun.
32:32
Speaker 5: What for?
32:32
Speaker 3: You wouldn't shoot anybody, no.
32:34
Speaker 5: But I could commit suicide. Mary.
32:39
Speaker 2: Hey, Mary, don't make a move, but listen to me.
32:42
Speaker 2: We gotta get that gun away from Morgan.
32:44
Speaker 5: I got a plan.
32:45
Speaker 11: What is it?
32:46
Speaker 2: Morgan comes over here and starts to talk. You look
32:49
Speaker 2: behind him, see, and then you yell look out behind you.
32:52
Speaker 2: Then when he turns around, I'll grab his gun. How
32:55
Speaker 2: do you like that for an idea?
32:56
Speaker 3: I think it's Carney.
32:58
Speaker 5: What do you mean, Corny? Come all right, plan, let's
33:01
Speaker 5: get after that tool. It's in the house somewhere. We've
33:03
Speaker 5: got to find it. Play here, You take the upstairs
33:05
Speaker 5: and I'll set you down here. All right, Mary? Remember
33:07
Speaker 5: the plan?
33:07
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, And say, mister Morgan, when you come here
33:10
Speaker 3: a minute, what.
33:11
Speaker 1: Do you want?
33:12
Speaker 3: Personally? I don't think it's gonna work. But look out
33:14
Speaker 3: behind you.
33:15
Speaker 5: What give me that right? Where your arms from Morgan?
33:19
Speaker 5: I'll put it up your hands. Everybody. I didn't think
33:21
Speaker 5: it would work. Hey, Mary, See, I guess I'm not
33:25
Speaker 5: a scenario writer for nothing. Everybody line up against that wall,
33:28
Speaker 5: saying I'm asking this situation, saying I got all the
33:32
Speaker 5: palm of me hand. If anybody moves, I'll I'll dump
33:35
Speaker 5: his lumplings.
33:39
Speaker 11: The telephone.
33:40
Speaker 5: Who had that phone? Connect?
33:41
Speaker 1: Answer?
33:41
Speaker 5: No, you don't get away from that phone. I'll take
33:45
Speaker 5: care of this, saying.
33:49
Speaker 3: Be careful what you say, Jack, You can't tell who
33:51
Speaker 3: it might be.
33:51
Speaker 5: Don't worry. I guess I can handle it. I guess
33:55
Speaker 5: go ahead, Jack, All right, all right, don't push me.
34:00
Speaker 5: Hello Hello? What No, madam? This is not Sam's Delicatessen.
34:08
Speaker 5: Can you imagine that? Now? What are we gonna do anyway?
34:12
Speaker 5: I've still got the gun. We're gonna stay here until
34:13
Speaker 5: I can reach the police. Police. Yes, if we have
34:15
Speaker 5: to wait here all.
34:16
Speaker 3: Night, Jack, why do we have to sit around waiting
34:18
Speaker 3: for the police.
34:20
Speaker 5: Why because nobody knows we're here? Because I'm not a
34:22
Speaker 5: mental Telepathis because we haven't got a short wave radio?
34:25
Speaker 3: Well, we have a telephone. Why don't we call him?
34:27
Speaker 5: Hm? Well, i'd have thought of that too. I'll call
34:31
Speaker 5: him right now. I don't move anybody. Hello, Hello, operator,
34:36
Speaker 5: Give me the police department and hurry.
34:37
Speaker 8: I'm making no mistake there, puddy.
34:39
Speaker 5: You don't say, well, you made a mistake when you
34:41
Speaker 5: walk in here and try to push me around Hello,
34:44
Speaker 5: is this the ball Paint Billi's police station. Well, this
34:46
Speaker 5: is Jack Benny, and I'm up on ballpayt Mountain. Yes,
34:49
Speaker 5: Jack Benny, what do you mean that? Gag? I tell
34:52
Speaker 5: you why? All right, then you can be the King
34:55
Speaker 5: of Bulgaria. I'm still Jack Benny, the King of Bulgaria.
35:00
Speaker 3: Off to him, Jack, Okay, now listen to your majesty.
35:02
Speaker 5: Give me that phone. Now get this. I'm up here
35:06
Speaker 5: on ball Paint Mountain. I've got a yes. Yeah, I
35:09
Speaker 5: know that. Look, I know no one lives on ball
35:11
Speaker 5: Paint That's why I'm here. No, I'm not crazy. Hello, Hello, Hello, listen, Hello,
35:20
Speaker 5: you beat that? He hung up. I have to go
35:22
Speaker 5: down there and stuff that phone down his throat. Why
35:24
Speaker 5: don't you let all these crooks walk out on me?
35:26
Speaker 3: Oh no, don't worry about them. You leave the gun
35:29
Speaker 3: with me, and I'll keep school till you get back
35:31
Speaker 3: with the cops.
35:31
Speaker 5: Now, don't be ridiculous. You couldn't handle this mob all
35:35
Speaker 5: alone and everything.
35:36
Speaker 3: Sure I could if anybody try to get out of
35:38
Speaker 3: do that stuff for the dumplings. Give me the gun.
35:41
Speaker 5: Oh, I don't like this. Suppose something happened.
35:43
Speaker 3: Nothing's going to happen. Go ahead, Jack, and get back
35:45
Speaker 3: here as soon as you.
35:46
Speaker 5: Can, all right, but keep your eye on him. I'll
35:48
Speaker 5: be back in an hour and i'll have the whole
35:49
Speaker 5: police force with me. Door. Hey, hey, what kind of
36:02
Speaker 5: a police station is this? Will you?
36:06
Speaker 1: What goes on here?
36:07
Speaker 5: Hey? Let me in? Is this the Ball Paint Villa's
36:10
Speaker 5: police station?
36:11
Speaker 1: It ain't the Morgue.
36:12
Speaker 5: Well, you can't prove it by you. Where is everybody?
36:16
Speaker 1: Oh? We close early on Mondays?
36:17
Speaker 5: Oh you do right. Well, I want to see the
36:19
Speaker 5: chief Constable. Where is he?
36:20
Speaker 1: Chief Constable? You'll find him in cell number six. He's
36:24
Speaker 1: playing draw poker with the three prisoners.
36:26
Speaker 5: Playing with the prisoners, and he taking a chance.
36:28
Speaker 1: No, they're his cards.
36:30
Speaker 5: Oh, just go right through that door.
36:32
Speaker 1: The chief is the guy without the stripes.
36:35
Speaker 5: Thank you. Okay, Chief, I'll raise that ben cost your
36:39
Speaker 5: dime to see him, Chief, and it'll cost him another
36:41
Speaker 5: dime to see me, they say, Chief, Chief, Can I
36:43
Speaker 5: interrupt you for a minute. I'm the guy that called
36:45
Speaker 5: you up about an hour ago from Ballpaint Mountain. Oh yeah,
36:48
Speaker 5: I came down here to tell you it's a gang
36:49
Speaker 5: of desperate crooks up there, and you gotta do something
36:50
Speaker 5: about it. Crooks. Hey, what do you got, Joe?
36:53
Speaker 1: Three kings?
36:54
Speaker 5: Hey, will you wait a minute? I just left I
36:55
Speaker 5: got three aces your pots. Look look I just left
36:58
Speaker 5: them up there. They're being held by Mary. They're dangerous, Chief, You.
37:01
Speaker 1: Got to come right away.
37:02
Speaker 5: Whose deal is it?
37:03
Speaker 1: My deal?
37:03
Speaker 5: Chief? Look? Will you listen? One is gonna kill me
37:05
Speaker 5: at twelve o'clock on the dot. He's a maniac. And
37:07
Speaker 5: if he misses me, there's three others of wall. Well,
37:09
Speaker 5: I can't quit winners, can I? I'll open a new deck,
37:12
Speaker 5: take out the twos and three? Look? Look, cheaf. I
37:15
Speaker 5: hate to be a kibbitzer, but this is a matter
37:16
Speaker 5: of life and debt.
37:17
Speaker 1: Who opened you did?
37:18
Speaker 5: I did not? You did too? Now look cheap, Look Chief,
37:21
Speaker 5: All I want is ten cents blind Joe, I'll see
37:24
Speaker 5: that and raise it the do. All I want is
37:25
Speaker 5: a nickel. All I want is a nickel and one. Chief.
37:28
Speaker 5: It's a matter of life and death and a nickel. Again,
37:31
Speaker 5: it's one hundred thousand dollars. What, Well, that's too high
37:33
Speaker 5: for me. I passed. Wait a minute, what did you say?
37:36
Speaker 5: One hundred thousand dollars on ball peyt mount? Well? What
37:38
Speaker 5: are we sitting around here? For That's what I've been
37:40
Speaker 5: trying to tell you. There's a whole game of crooks.
37:41
Speaker 5: They're after the money. Well, Kennedy is Chief Constable. Can
37:44
Speaker 5: you show me the way? Follow me and let's go.
37:46
Speaker 5: I've kept this county clean up crooks for ten years
37:49
Speaker 5: and buy heave medals, take clean. Come on, wait, where's
37:52
Speaker 5: my hoster? Here is chief hanging on your chair? Hurry up?
37:55
Speaker 5: Is my gun in it? Yes? And two waces, let's go.
38:09
Speaker 1: ITAU was for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
38:35
Speaker 1: This is the Lux Radio Theater. Ladies and gentlemen, brought
38:37
Speaker 1: to you with the good wishes of the makers of
38:39
Speaker 1: Lux Plays. And now before bringing you the third act
38:41
Speaker 1: of our play starring Jack Benny, Mary Livingston and Cecil B.
38:44
Speaker 1: De Mille, we have a little intimission. During the week,
38:47
Speaker 1: one of the most distinguished violinists in the world, mister
38:50
Speaker 1: Ephraim Zimbalist, bordered a plane and headed west just to
38:53
Speaker 1: be with us tonight, a tribute for which we're most grateful.
38:57
Speaker 1: Due to the insidious machinations of Jack Benny, all violinists
39:00
Speaker 1: have fallen into a mild sort of disrepute, and especially
39:04
Speaker 1: a certain composition for the violin written by Schubert, a
39:07
Speaker 1: composition spelt b as in Benny e e like a
39:12
Speaker 1: knight of old aglow with a fierce flame of vengeance.
39:15
Speaker 1: Mister Zimbolist is here to right ancient wrongs and to
39:18
Speaker 1: play the bee with some regard for mister Schubert and
39:20
Speaker 1: the sensibilities of listening America. At last, mister Benny is cornered,
39:25
Speaker 1: mister Zimblist. Are you ready?
39:26
Speaker 14: Thank you, mister week. But there's no hurry. Let him
39:29
Speaker 14: suffer for a while longer? Well why not? Oh, by
39:32
Speaker 14: the way, mister Zimbleist, what do you think of Jack
39:34
Speaker 14: as an actor? I find a remarkable similarity, mister Ruick,
39:38
Speaker 14: between mister Benyard the actor and mister Benyard the violinist.
39:44
Speaker 14: Even as an actor he insists on playing in seven keys.
39:48
Speaker 1: Mister Zimbleist, I shucks, I played the violin too. Maybe
39:52
Speaker 1: you hurt me in the buccaneer. I was the pirate
39:54
Speaker 1: who played the violin for Frederick Mars to soothe his nerves.
39:57
Speaker 1: Or is that so?
39:59
Speaker 14: May suggests me through that next time you give him
40:01
Speaker 14: a nice cup of hot milk.
40:03
Speaker 1: Oh, don't you like anything around here, mister Zimblist. Oh,
40:06
Speaker 1: of course, I'm just trying to be funnily through it.
40:10
Speaker 14: When a balinist tries to be a Conedian, or when
40:12
Speaker 14: a Canadian tries to be as Heaven help the audience.
40:17
Speaker 1: I think I better play the b Fine, ladies and gentlemen,
40:21
Speaker 1: misterram Zimblest, accompanied at the piano by a Theodore or
40:24
Speaker 1: Seigberd America. Thanks here, mister sembleist, and we all trust
41:27
Speaker 1: mister Benny's musical dumplings are at long last properly lumped.
41:31
Speaker 1: We hear him now with Mary Livingston and Cecil B.
41:33
Speaker 1: De Mille in Act three of seven Keys to Balltap.
41:42
Speaker 1: An hour later, Jack Benny has enlisted the aid of
41:44
Speaker 1: the Balltape Village Police. A car continuing our hero and
41:47
Speaker 1: the Chief Constable, pulls up the rugged mountain road comes
41:50
Speaker 1: to a stop just outside of the old house.
41:56
Speaker 5: There's a house seat, Kennedy, All right, all right now,
41:59
Speaker 5: don't get excited. Went around the whole bunch of money.
42:02
Speaker 5: Come on, wait, gosh, I forgot we can't get in.
42:05
Speaker 5: I came out without the key. Don't worry about that.
42:08
Speaker 5: I got one. Oh you have. Well, don't lose it.
42:11
Speaker 5: They're awfully scarce. Hey, look, huh, what's the matter?
42:15
Speaker 1: Now?
42:16
Speaker 5: See I left the light burning in that room? Now
42:18
Speaker 5: it's star all right, all right, take it easy.
42:20
Speaker 1: I've got a flashlight.
42:21
Speaker 5: We'll break in on them and take them by surprise. Ready,
42:24
Speaker 5: right now, everybody, wait a minute. There's nobody here. They
42:32
Speaker 5: married married, Why they've all gone? They can't be gone.
42:36
Speaker 5: We just seen them coming down the mountain. Say, I
42:39
Speaker 5: thought there was something screwy about you, but I'm not screwy.
42:42
Speaker 5: They must be somewhere in the house. You look upstairs,
42:44
Speaker 5: and i'll take the cellar. Okay, here, take this other
42:46
Speaker 5: gun out of my hip pocket, and if you see anybody,
42:49
Speaker 5: show it fir gee. I hope nothing happened to marry Mary.
42:57
Speaker 1: Mary? Are you in the cellar?
43:00
Speaker 5: Mary? If they're down here, turn on the light. I
43:01
Speaker 5: can't see a thing, Mary, Mary.
43:05
Speaker 3: Hello, Jack?
43:06
Speaker 5: Oh Mary, you're safe. Where are you? I can't see I'm.
43:10
Speaker 3: Over here, Jack sitting in a rocking chair.
43:12
Speaker 5: Oh, I thought something happened to you. We'll get out
43:14
Speaker 5: of that chair and come over here.
43:15
Speaker 3: Okay, but you'll have to untie these ropes first.
43:17
Speaker 5: What ropes? You mean you're tied of that chair.
43:20
Speaker 3: I couldn't help, but Jack, really I couldn't.
43:22
Speaker 5: I might have known this would happened. Let me have
43:24
Speaker 5: those ropes.
43:25
Speaker 3: Who did this, mister Morgan?
43:26
Speaker 5: Oh Morgan?
43:27
Speaker 3: Eh, yeah, right after I dropped the gun.
43:29
Speaker 5: Oh you dropped the gun.
43:31
Speaker 3: Well, I couldn't help, but I was standing there covering him,
43:33
Speaker 3: just like you told me. And all of a sudden,
43:35
Speaker 3: Morgan yelled, look out behind you, And when I turned
43:40
Speaker 3: around there was nobody there.
43:42
Speaker 5: Yeah.
43:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that trick is better than I thought
43:44
Speaker 3: it was.
43:45
Speaker 5: Oh, shut up, Hey, listen, they're all upstairs again. Come on,
43:49
Speaker 5: slip out of those ropes. I'm ready up the stairs.
43:51
Speaker 3: Quick, Jack, Maybe you better not go up there.
43:54
Speaker 5: What are you talking about? I brought the law back
43:55
Speaker 5: with me. Kennedy's taking charge. You'll have those crooks and
43:58
Speaker 5: jail in an hour, up in a card game. Come on, everybody,
44:04
Speaker 5: shut up, road plug somebody now, what goes on? Chief?
44:07
Speaker 5: You got the whole crowd, huh? And I got the
44:09
Speaker 5: money too. It's in that big bag on the floor.
44:11
Speaker 5: It's my money. It's mine.
44:12
Speaker 12: Whet hermie you I'll get you at twelve o'clock.
44:17
Speaker 5: Twelve o'clock. Eh, you gotta get free first. Where'd you
44:20
Speaker 5: buy the money? Chief? And hermit? Dug it up? This
44:23
Speaker 5: woman took it from him, Plan took it from her.
44:24
Speaker 5: Morgan took it from him.
44:25
Speaker 3: And I'm taking your tromall again.
44:27
Speaker 5: Put that bag down, give me that bag.
44:28
Speaker 11: It's more.
44:29
Speaker 5: Let me take tell you he put all that back.
44:31
Speaker 5: I've went back. Ho you drop that bag allows here now, Hello,
44:35
Speaker 5: take care of that doing its own way. That's tell
44:38
Speaker 5: a little chief. Where's the phone right over there on
44:40
Speaker 5: the desk? Put that money up here next to me? Hey,
44:42
Speaker 5: I Chief, everybody staying nice and quiet? An operator? I
44:48
Speaker 5: want Village eight two six? Yeah? Who you call in? Chief?
44:51
Speaker 5: The riot squad. I guess all you crooks will have
44:55
Speaker 5: a lot of time to think this over. And Village
44:57
Speaker 5: A two six is this Joe's pool room? Pool room?
45:01
Speaker 5: This is this, Chief, Constable Kennedy. Let me speak to
45:03
Speaker 5: my wife. Well, yeah, all right, you don't see her around?
45:07
Speaker 3: Maybe she's behind eight ball married?
45:10
Speaker 5: Oh you did, eh, I'll put her on the phone.
45:13
Speaker 5: Look cheap. I don't want to interfere with your business.
45:15
Speaker 5: But why don't you call up the station? Oh? No,
45:17
Speaker 5: is that you wagnes. How's the game tonight? Honey? That's good. Listen, honey,
45:23
Speaker 5: get this clear. I want you to get some clothes together
45:25
Speaker 5: in a hurry and catch the next train for Canada. Now,
45:27
Speaker 5: don't ask questions. I'll meet you there Wednesday morning. Yeah,
45:30
Speaker 5: with one hundred thousand dollars. Say what are you twine
45:33
Speaker 5: it up? You got that straight? Honey? Okay, goodbye, sweetheart?
45:38
Speaker 3: What?
45:42
Speaker 4: Oh?
45:42
Speaker 5: All right, my dear, everybody's there, we are Say what
45:50
Speaker 5: do you think you're gonna do?
45:51
Speaker 1: You know?
45:51
Speaker 5: Hurt me? Buddy, I'm going to Canada.
45:53
Speaker 3: It's a fine time to visit a Quintuplet shut up?
45:56
Speaker 5: Why can't you can't get away with this? I'll have
45:57
Speaker 5: the law on your trailing, three men on all you want,
46:00
Speaker 5: and I took care of that. There's four of my
46:01
Speaker 5: boys guarding the mountain road right now, with orders to
46:04
Speaker 5: shoot anybody trying to leave. You're all gonna stay right
46:07
Speaker 5: here until I get a head start. Then you can
46:09
Speaker 5: do what you want.
46:10
Speaker 3: You certainly are a fine cop stealing that money? Why
46:13
Speaker 3: don't we give thee up? Even Steven, you'll.
46:15
Speaker 5: Keep out of this. Why shouldn't I steal it from
46:17
Speaker 5: a gang of crooks like you. It's one chance in
46:20
Speaker 5: a lifetime to get this much dough, and I'm gonna
46:22
Speaker 5: grab it. Yeah, I'm gonna live in a marble hall
46:26
Speaker 5: and eat off gold plates and send my two boys
46:29
Speaker 5: to college. What do you think of that?
46:30
Speaker 3: You won't get awayway?
46:31
Speaker 5: I shoot you dead.
46:32
Speaker 12: You're sticking on my list right now?
46:34
Speaker 5: Come back here you shoot, go on?
46:36
Speaker 7: Shoot missed me.
46:43
Speaker 5: He's gone. He's loose again. Find me, spash you made
46:45
Speaker 5: out of this, but you'll get me wire. Why a
46:47
Speaker 5: man's a maniac. He's crazy. He's gonna kill me at
46:49
Speaker 5: twelve o'clock on the dock if he bumps you off.
46:51
Speaker 5: He's not as crazy as I thought.
46:52
Speaker 1: On Kennedy, you never get away with this.
46:53
Speaker 5: Hand over that to stand back here, right out away,
46:56
Speaker 5: go away, up the whole much and get away. Hold
46:58
Speaker 5: on everybody, grabs.
47:03
Speaker 1: Everybody that's right where you are. Put up your hands,
47:07
Speaker 1: go on, put them up, everybody.
47:09
Speaker 5: Mary, Mary, Look who it is? Look who are you?
47:13
Speaker 1: I'm cecil be to mel the owner of bald Page.
47:16
Speaker 1: Two policemen refused to let me pass, and I shot
47:18
Speaker 1: them dead.
47:19
Speaker 5: Oh this this isn't true. Why it can't be true?
47:24
Speaker 1: What's the matter here? Jack? Who are these people? How'd
47:27
Speaker 1: they get in here?
47:28
Speaker 5: See? I don't know.
47:29
Speaker 1: Have they disturbed you in your work? How are you
47:30
Speaker 1: getting on with their story?
47:32
Speaker 5: How am I getting on? It's a nice question. Fine place.
47:35
Speaker 5: You sent me to nothing but ghosts, crooks, murders, maniacs.
47:38
Speaker 5: Are now a director? You told me there was only
47:41
Speaker 5: one key. This place has more keys than a grand piano. Jack,
47:44
Speaker 5: you and I lose twenty four hours. I couldn't write
47:47
Speaker 5: a story in this joint in twenty four years. What's
47:54
Speaker 5: the matter with you? What are you all laughing at?
47:57
Speaker 1: Hey?
47:57
Speaker 5: What goes on here? Anyway?
47:59
Speaker 1: I just want to tell you, Jack, I hope you're
48:02
Speaker 1: not going to be mad. But the whole thing was
48:04
Speaker 1: a joke.
48:05
Speaker 5: What was a joke?
48:06
Speaker 1: I sent all these people up here just for a gig.
48:09
Speaker 5: Gig?
48:10
Speaker 1: That's right. This girl you thought was Rita Krummitt, her
48:12
Speaker 1: real name is Eve Forsythe I used her in my
48:14
Speaker 1: last picture.
48:15
Speaker 5: How do you do, mister Benny? Well, this is the
48:18
Speaker 5: darnest thing.
48:19
Speaker 1: Kokie Bland isn't the krook. He isn't even Kokie. He's
48:22
Speaker 1: my old prop man.
48:23
Speaker 5: How are you, mister Bennie, this is very funny.
48:27
Speaker 1: Morgan. Here is an actor I've been using for years.
48:29
Speaker 1: His name is Jones.
48:31
Speaker 5: Jes what a odd name.
48:34
Speaker 1: Kennedy isn't the real chief Constable. But he's a real actor.
48:36
Speaker 5: Well thanks, mister de mill say he's a real actor.
48:40
Speaker 5: He's certainly had me going. Well, this is quite a surprise.
48:43
Speaker 1: And of course Mary was in on the whole thing
48:45
Speaker 1: from the start.
48:46
Speaker 5: Oh she was, Hello Jack Mary, Gosh, darn you. Oh
48:52
Speaker 5: this is very funny, say mister Deville. Who was the hermit?
48:55
Speaker 1: Huh?
48:56
Speaker 5: You know the hermit, the guy you sent up here
48:58
Speaker 5: to act like a crazy man. Oh, he had me
49:00
Speaker 5: scared for a while. Who was he?
49:02
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about.
49:04
Speaker 5: You know, the crazy guy? The guy said he was
49:06
Speaker 5: going to shoot me at twelve o'clock sharp.
49:08
Speaker 1: You know anything about this Kennedy?
49:09
Speaker 5: Not me. I figured he was one of the actors.
49:11
Speaker 1: Well I didn't send him.
49:13
Speaker 5: What you mean you you mean you?
49:16
Speaker 1: You mean you There must be some mistake. I don't
49:18
Speaker 1: know anything about a hermit one another do.
49:20
Speaker 5: I I thought that, Wait a minute, you mean this
49:22
Speaker 5: hermit is on the level, and he must be. But
49:24
Speaker 5: he's gonna shoot me. He's going to kill me at
49:25
Speaker 5: twelve o'clock.
49:26
Speaker 1: Now, keep calm, Jack. There must be something we can do.
49:28
Speaker 5: But he's a maniac. He's crazy. He's roaming a round loose. Listen,
49:31
Speaker 5: what time is it? What time is it now?
49:33
Speaker 1: It's exactly two minutes of twelve, two minutes.
49:35
Speaker 3: Of Jack, Jack, Jack, look at me? Are you all right?
49:46
Speaker 5: He got me Mary? He got me Mary? Yes? Jack,
49:52
Speaker 5: Tell dm Ill, yes, yes. Tell Jim Ill what Jack?
49:56
Speaker 3: Tell them Ill?
49:57
Speaker 5: What? Tell Demill his watch is two minutes slow?
50:01
Speaker 6: Why mister de Mill's office, I'm sorry, mister de mill
50:11
Speaker 6: is in conference. I'm sorry, mister demill is in a
50:13
Speaker 6: story conference with mister Benny.
50:15
Speaker 5: Mister de mill Is in a story conference. There's your story,
50:19
Speaker 5: mister de Mill. After finish, the hermit shoots me and
50:21
Speaker 5: I fall to the floor. Mary leans over me and says, Jack,
50:24
Speaker 5: look at me, are you all right? And I look
50:26
Speaker 5: up at her and say, tell de Mill. Tell de
50:30
Speaker 5: Mill his watch is two minutes slow. Finish. There's your story,
50:34
Speaker 5: mister de Mill, and I finished it in twenty four hours.
50:36
Speaker 3: See Jack, that's swell.
50:38
Speaker 5: What do you think of it? CV?
50:39
Speaker 1: Did you write all this? Since you were in this
50:41
Speaker 1: office yesterday.
50:41
Speaker 5: I certainly did.
50:42
Speaker 1: Did you work at my place on ball Pace?
50:44
Speaker 5: Yes? And you were right. I never heard a sound,
50:46
Speaker 5: but I used it for the locale of my story
50:48
Speaker 5: and brought in a lot of crooks and things. Well,
50:50
Speaker 5: I even put you in it. I had you come
50:52
Speaker 5: in at the finish to tell me it was all
50:53
Speaker 5: a gay man, I know, And I wrote apart from
50:55
Speaker 5: Mary too, well, how do you like it?
50:57
Speaker 1: It's very good? Jack?
50:58
Speaker 5: Thanks. Now you remember you promise TV you said you'd
51:01
Speaker 5: produce it.
51:01
Speaker 1: I certainly will.
51:02
Speaker 5: There you are Mary, you see gee?
51:04
Speaker 1: And Gary Cooper is just the man for it.
51:07
Speaker 5: Gary Cooper.
51:09
Speaker 1: Now wait a minute, mister de mille. You said I
51:11
Speaker 1: could play the lead, and I said you could play
51:13
Speaker 1: the lead if it was an original story.
51:15
Speaker 5: Well it is original and it's good too.
51:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. But it was also good in nineteen ten when
51:20
Speaker 1: Old Beggers wrote the novel Oh he did, And in
51:23
Speaker 1: nineteen thirteen when George M. Cohen produced the play.
51:26
Speaker 5: Oh What a Coincident?
51:28
Speaker 1: And in nineteen twenty five when Paramount produced the silent.
51:31
Speaker 5: Picture, Oh they got in it?
51:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, And in nineteen twenty nine when RKO made it
51:35
Speaker 1: as a talkie. Well, yeah, and I believe they all
51:38
Speaker 1: called it Seven Keys to Baldpate.
51:41
Speaker 5: They did, she and I was so proud of it. God,
51:45
Speaker 5: I thought it was my own brainchild, didn't you?
51:47
Speaker 3: And it turned out to be an orphan.
51:48
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I guess I'm lick. So the pictures off,
51:53
Speaker 5: acb I'm sorry, Jack, Gee, and I wanted to play
51:56
Speaker 5: the lead in it. Well that's the way it goes. Yeah,
52:00
Speaker 5: come on, Murray, let's go home.
52:01
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, Jack, you've still got a chance. Grab
52:04
Speaker 3: that script. What for we take it over to Walt Disney.
52:06
Speaker 3: He'll produce it.
52:07
Speaker 5: Gee, Walt Disney, say there's an idea. Come on, let's
52:10
Speaker 5: go Walt Disney. Long Jack, whack whack, whack, whack, whack whack.
52:38
Speaker 1: And that's the end of our Lux Radio Theater version
52:40
Speaker 1: of Seven Keys to bald Pate, But not the end
52:42
Speaker 1: of Jack Benny. You'd be back in a moment with
52:44
Speaker 1: Mary Livingston to be put on the spot again, I'm sure,
52:47
Speaker 1: by mister DeMille. Meantime, may I ask you our listeners
52:50
Speaker 1: a question. Have you ever been put on the spot
52:53
Speaker 1: by embarrassingly read rough hands. If you have, if you
52:57
Speaker 1: want the smooth white hands, everyone admires. Try changing to
53:01
Speaker 1: lux flakes for washing your dishes. Your hands may spend
53:04
Speaker 1: as much as five hundred hours in the dishpen every year.
53:07
Speaker 1: Think of the damage a harsh soap may do. Such
53:10
Speaker 1: soaps are drying. They rob your skin of its natural oils.
53:14
Speaker 1: But lux flakes have none of the harmful alkali so
53:16
Speaker 1: drying to the skin. They leave your hands lovely. Do
53:20
Speaker 1: as so many clever women do nowadays, use lucks for dishes.
53:24
Speaker 1: Buy the thrifty big box tomorrow. And now, mister de Mill,
53:29
Speaker 1: the actor surrenders to mister de Mill, your host and producer,
53:32
Speaker 1: as he brings Jack, Benny, and Mary Livingston back to
53:34
Speaker 1: our microphone. Thank you for that word, actor, mister Rick.
53:38
Speaker 1: And now a brief exchange of opinions with the man
53:40
Speaker 1: of the hour. Oh Jack, mister Benny, Mary, where's Jack.
53:44
Speaker 3: He's in the next room taking off his make up.
53:46
Speaker 1: Make up for Mary? Does he use make up on radio?
53:49
Speaker 5: Well?
53:49
Speaker 3: Jack has to on a kind of mic.
53:51
Speaker 1: Fright, Mike fright? What's that got to do with it?
53:53
Speaker 3: When he doesn't put on makeup, he frightens the mic?
53:56
Speaker 3: I see here he comes, now, Hey Jack, mister de
53:59
Speaker 3: Mill oh yes, mister.
54:01
Speaker 1: De Well, Jack, now that it's all over, I've got
54:04
Speaker 1: to admit that tonight's acting was superb, really great.
54:07
Speaker 5: Gee, mister de Mill, you mean that, and.
54:09
Speaker 1: I certainly do.
54:09
Speaker 5: It was brilliant well, and there's no room for an
54:12
Speaker 5: argument there.
54:13
Speaker 1: Thanks. I thought I was pretty good you of course,
54:17
Speaker 1: who did you mean?
54:18
Speaker 5: Oh? Well, yes, yes, mister de Mill, I thought your
54:20
Speaker 5: acting was all right, yes, sir, all right?
54:23
Speaker 1: You mean you didn't think it was good?
54:25
Speaker 5: Well, I didn't think it was bad, but.
54:28
Speaker 1: You didn't say it was good.
54:29
Speaker 5: No, No, I said it was all right, all right, yeah, but.
54:32
Speaker 1: You said it like major bows.
54:36
Speaker 13: No.
54:36
Speaker 5: I really thought you were swell and speaking of historyonic ability,
54:40
Speaker 5: I wasn't exactly a sound effect on this program myself.
54:43
Speaker 1: You know, I agree with you, Jack, I thought you
54:45
Speaker 1: did a great job.
54:47
Speaker 5: Thank you, Hey Gable, what what is it? Mary?
54:52
Speaker 3: As long as a matter of personal opinion, I thought
54:55
Speaker 3: I was pretty good too, Mary.
54:56
Speaker 1: You were excellent. I don't know what we'd have done
54:58
Speaker 1: without you. Right away, Jack, what did you think of
55:04
Speaker 1: the way mister Zimbalist played the bee?
55:06
Speaker 5: Oh? I thought it was quite good, mister de Mill.
55:08
Speaker 5: Of course, his PITSI Cato was a bit strong, and
55:13
Speaker 5: when it came to the andante, I thought he was
55:15
Speaker 5: slightly ras mataz he was, Oh yeah, But when it
55:20
Speaker 5: came to the allegro. Why nobody can question that.
55:22
Speaker 3: They better not question you either, Yeah either enough to.
55:29
Speaker 5: Now look, I always come then with her little tooth thin.
55:34
Speaker 5: Now look, mister de Mill, Now that it's all over,
55:37
Speaker 5: let's be serious. How about my playing the leading role
55:40
Speaker 5: in your next picture. I've been looking forward to it,
55:42
Speaker 5: and I know I can do it. Well, I've been
55:43
Speaker 5: riding a horse eight hours a day just to get
55:45
Speaker 5: in shape for the part.
55:46
Speaker 1: You've been practicing on the wrong kind of a horse, Jack,
55:49
Speaker 1: Union Pacific is the story of an iron horse.
55:51
Speaker 5: I think I rode wasn't made of feathers, mister de Mill.
55:55
Speaker 1: But Jack, you've got it all wrong. An iron horse
55:57
Speaker 1: is a locomotive. Union Pacific is a sorry.
56:00
Speaker 5: Oh, a railroad story, mister de Mill. Ray roads are
56:03
Speaker 5: right down my alley.
56:05
Speaker 3: That was before you moved to the new house.
56:09
Speaker 5: Well it means a part in the picture. I'll move
56:11
Speaker 5: right back. How about it, mister de Mill.
56:13
Speaker 3: You'll think it over.
56:14
Speaker 5: You stay out of this. What do you say?
56:17
Speaker 1: Mary's right? I'll think it over.
56:19
Speaker 5: Okay, that's good enough for me.
56:20
Speaker 1: By the way, I want to issh you good luck
56:23
Speaker 1: on the opening of your new Jello series next Sunday night,
56:26
Speaker 1: you too, Mary.
56:27
Speaker 5: Thank you, mister Demil, thank you. Oh, mister de Mill,
56:29
Speaker 5: I still think you're right about my trying to be
56:31
Speaker 5: a dramatic actor. I'll wash my hands of the whole
56:33
Speaker 5: thing and they show you there's no hard feelings. I'll
56:36
Speaker 5: do it with lucks. Well, I guess we'll be running along.
56:40
Speaker 3: Come on, Mary, okay, say jacked. And it seems strange
56:43
Speaker 3: working tonight after our long vacation.
56:45
Speaker 5: It sure did. But I got a lot of laughs tonight,
56:47
Speaker 5: didn't I. Mary.
56:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, tuck in your shirt tail. Let's go home.
56:50
Speaker 5: Oh, good night. Let's see you Sunday.
56:52
Speaker 10: Good night, much good night.
57:02
Speaker 1: Our stars and play for next Monday Night are announced
57:04
Speaker 1: very shortly by mister de Mill. Heard in Tonight's cat
57:07
Speaker 1: where Margaret Brayton as Rita, Ted Osborne as Hermie, Ross
57:11
Speaker 1: Forrester as Bland, Gale Gordon as Morgan, Lou Merrill as Kennedy,
57:16
Speaker 1: John Fee as Sergeant, Eddie Waller as Jed, Martha Wentworth
57:20
Speaker 1: as Belinda Joe Kerns as a prisoner, Victor Rodman as Bollister,
57:25
Speaker 1: Mary Lansing is telephone operator, Frank Nelson as Oakley, Dorothy
57:29
Speaker 1: Greewatt's as Miss Cole, and Catherine Carton as a girl.
57:33
Speaker 1: Jack Benny and Mary Livingston returned to the air on
57:35
Speaker 1: the Jello Program next Sunday Night. Mister Benny's new paramount
57:39
Speaker 1: film is Artists and Models Abroad. Lewis Silver's our musical
57:42
Speaker 1: Director appeared through courtesy of twentieth Century Fox Studio, where
57:46
Speaker 1: he directed music for the new picture Straight Place and Show.
57:50
Speaker 1: Here's Mister de Mill, believing with Disraeli that Ferrari is
57:54
Speaker 1: the mother of enjoyment. Return from the comedy of Tonight's
57:57
Speaker 1: play and bring you next Monday Night to MoU dramatic
58:00
Speaker 1: and romantic fields in presenting our adaptation of the recent
58:03
Speaker 1: hit picture Another Dawn. This tense play carries us to Arabia, where,
58:09
Speaker 1: in the heat and mystery of the desert, a handful
58:11
Speaker 1: of soldiers hold aloft their country's flag, and a beautiful
58:15
Speaker 1: girl picks up the fragments of her lost happiness. Our stars,
58:19
Speaker 1: a trio of Hollywood's most popular celebrities. Madeline Carroll, Franchio
58:24
Speaker 1: Tone and George Brent. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes,
58:39
Speaker 1: join me in inviting you to be with us again
58:40
Speaker 1: next Monday Night, when the Lux Radio Career presents Madeline, Carrol,
58:44
Speaker 1: Francho Tone and George Brent in another dawn. This is
58:48
Speaker 1: cessab De Mill of the former actor, saying good night
58:52
Speaker 1: to you from Hollywood.
59:00
Speaker 10: M yourn answer has been Melville Road.
59:22
Speaker 1: This is the Lumbia Broadcasting System.