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474: Parenting with Human Design · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:11
Nicole Laino: Come here to become an unshakable human and build an unshakable business according to your human design.
0:17
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
0:21
Nicole Laino: Hello, and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design.
0:24
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Leno, and we are talking about a topic today that we actually don't talk about very much on this show.
0:32
Nicole Laino: And I'm really excited to do it.
0:34
Nicole Laino: And the reason I'm excited for this and the reason we don't talk about it so much is this show is for entrepreneurs.
0:40
Nicole Laino: The mainly, I don't want to say that it's only for entrepreneurs, but that is our main part of our audience.
0:45
Nicole Laino: So I do try to keep the content pretty in the neighborhood of how could this relate to your business?
0:53
Nicole Laino: But we're going to talk about parenting today, and I want you to see.
0:57
Nicole Laino: And the reason that I decided to do this is because parenting one is such a mirror for us.
1:05
Nicole Laino: If you are a parent and you're not looking at what your kids are saying or how they're acting and seeing them as mirrors for you, then you're missing out on some of the most powerful personal development work that you will ever get.
1:20
Nicole Laino: But it's also, I want to show you how the parenting lens and the way that we look at parenting for human design is very much about relationships.
1:29
Nicole Laino: It's how the chart functions between two people, how we see people through the chart.
1:36
Nicole Laino: And I think kids are such a valuable lesson because they're not conditioned yet.
1:44
Nicole Laino: For the most part, they're going to be conditioned by their friends.
1:47
Nicole Laino: They're going to be conditioned maybe by you a little bit, but they are pretty clean coming into this life at least, certainly cleaner than we are, because all of life's experiences are put on us.
2:00
Nicole Laino: So people wonder, you know, if I'm not living my design, why can't I?
2:04
Nicole Laino: Well, you're conditioned to not live your design and be gentle with yourself, because pretty much nobody is, except maybe this generation that's coming up right now where they have parents who have a tool like human design, where they can actually train them or guide them and parent them to actually be themselves.
2:26
Nicole Laino: So what this episode is going to be really about human design obviously changed my parenting.
2:31
Nicole Laino: I do this for a living.
2:32
Nicole Laino: It should change my parenting.
2:34
Nicole Laino: But it's also, it's changed every relationship in my life, from my team and my business to my Husband to my mom to friends, every single person, even the people I don't know, I look at it very differently.
2:52
Nicole Laino: Why?
2:52
Nicole Laino: Because of human design.
2:54
Nicole Laino: Because human design and what we're going to kind of be touching on here is human design is a lens.
3:00
Nicole Laino: It is a way that we look at people and relationships that we have.
3:07
Nicole Laino: When we look at it through a lens of human design, we see people differently.
3:11
Nicole Laino: So that's why it is so powerful in coaching relationships.
3:15
Nicole Laino: It is why it is so powerful in your life, for your own sense.
3:21
Nicole Laino: Because when you start to look at yourself through the lens of your human design, the stories we've had about whether something in us is good or bad or helpful or attractive or not starts to fall away.
3:33
Nicole Laino: And we actually get to the essence of something, which is it just is.
3:37
Nicole Laino: And that's where we all need to get to is, can we just be okay being ourselves?
3:42
Nicole Laino: Can we just be okay and accept these things that we are, and not just accept them, but learn to love them and see them as gifts and see them as all part of our unique, divine design?
3:56
Nicole Laino: Now, this is exactly why it's so important in parenting, because I think one core thing about human design as well, I'll just say this is I think we all know that we're different, people are different, but at its core, human design is not just showing us that we are different, which is like an abstract kind of concept.
4:19
Nicole Laino: It's an abstract concept to say that we are all different.
4:23
Nicole Laino: So it's showing us not just that we are all different, not that abstract concept, but it's showing us specifically how we are different.
4:34
Nicole Laino: So you might just have a good understanding.
4:36
Nicole Laino: If you're a reflector, you know that everybody is super different than you, like, at their core, that you operate very differently.
4:43
Nicole Laino: So that's going to have an effect on you.
4:45
Nicole Laino: And I want you to think about if you're a reflector listening to this, or if you're a projector or a manifestor, where you are part of, like, a real minority as far as energetic types, how helpful would it have been for you to know that when you were a kid or when you were a teenager?
5:01
Nicole Laino: I know if I had this when I was a teenager, wow.
5:05
Nicole Laino: I can only imagine it could have had a sense of pride in who I was.
5:10
Nicole Laino: Not so much shame, which I definitely walked with.
5:14
Nicole Laino: I did not feel like I fit in.
5:16
Nicole Laino: And if I had known that I'm kind of not meant to.
5:19
Nicole Laino: I'm like a lot of people, but I'm very different.
5:21
Nicole Laino: And we all are this is how we can learn to appreciate ourselves.
5:25
Nicole Laino: So this is why it is so important with kids, right?
5:28
Nicole Laino: Because if you have children, we all want them to be powerful individuals, right?
5:35
Nicole Laino: We want them to grow up to be the best version of themselves.
5:38
Nicole Laino: We want them to feel empowered, to be who they are and that they are loved exactly as they are.
5:45
Nicole Laino: But we also might view them as a second chance at our own lives.
5:50
Nicole Laino: Not consciously.
5:51
Nicole Laino: I'm not saying that we mean to do this to our kids, but.
5:54
Nicole Laino: But we can do that.
5:55
Nicole Laino: We can, like, think about how you might be guiding your kid.
5:57
Nicole Laino: You might be thinking about, well, here's what I wished I had when I was your age.
6:02
Nicole Laino: Here's what I would do.
6:04
Nicole Laino: But remember what we just said.
6:07
Nicole Laino: You're different, right?
6:08
Nicole Laino: Even if you have lots of similarities, there are ways that you are different than your kids or than the kids in your family.
6:16
Nicole Laino: And it can really be helpful if people are open to receiving it.
6:20
Nicole Laino: The parents have to be on this, particularly with small kids.
6:24
Nicole Laino: But it doesn't mean that you can't start guiding the nieces and nephews and people in your lives, their kids, without telling them that you're doing it.
6:33
Nicole Laino: You can just honor who they are, right?
6:35
Nicole Laino: Or honor the fact.
6:36
Nicole Laino: If you're looking at them and you can think, if you're hearing somebody call their kid lazy in your mind, you might be thinking, I wonder if they're a projector.
6:44
Nicole Laino: I wonder if they're just not lazy at all.
6:46
Nicole Laino: Or maybe they're a manifestor and they genuinely are tired because they aren't actually doing what they want to all day and they've had to conform so much and it's draining them.
6:58
Nicole Laino: That's why they're not motivated.
7:00
Nicole Laino: Like, you can start to be somebody who's curious about that kid in a different way.
7:05
Nicole Laino: You don't have to know their chart, although you can run it, which I do.
7:09
Nicole Laino: I run charts on everybody run the birthday and I see if it changes much during the day, if I don't know the exact birth time.
7:15
Nicole Laino: But you get an idea.
7:17
Nicole Laino: A lot of times you can nail down type.
7:19
Nicole Laino: Most of the time can nail down authority, although that can change.
7:23
Nicole Laino: And profile, there might be some swings in the profile if you don't have an exact birth time.
7:28
Nicole Laino: But think about how much you are narrowing it down, though, if you know that they might be 3, 5, a 3, 6.
7:37
Nicole Laino: Or if you have those choices, 3, 5, 3, 6, 4, 4, 6.
7:43
Nicole Laino: Like, what if those are your choices?
7:45
Nicole Laino: Right?
7:46
Nicole Laino: That's actually telling you a lot about that kid, right?
7:49
Nicole Laino: They've got a three in there somewhere.
7:51
Nicole Laino: They are either a three personality or they have a three phase in their six line which is going to give them that trial and error kind of path for at least part of their lives.
8:03
Nicole Laino: How powerful is that?
8:05
Nicole Laino: So what I'm saying here is I don't think that anybody is intentionally looking to condition their kids.
8:10
Nicole Laino: Everybody, I think, has for the most part.
8:13
Nicole Laino: If you're listening to this show, everybody listening to the show.
8:16
Nicole Laino: Let me clarify.
8:17
Nicole Laino: Every single person listening to this show, if you have kids or you have kids in your life, you are a well meaning adult, but you also have the potential to be conditioning all the same.
8:27
Nicole Laino: Why?
8:28
Nicole Laino: Because you're well meaning.
8:30
Nicole Laino: And I see this a lot with parents where they're looking at their kids and they're like, this kid has no direction or this kid, you know, I didn't have these opportunities and she's not taking advantage of them.
8:40
Nicole Laino: I keep telling her, you know, she's just got to get up and do it and you're not really looking at the kid.
8:45
Nicole Laino: Now there is a fundamental problem of just thinking that, you know, what is best for them and not being curious and asking questions about how they could be more motivated and all that.
8:57
Nicole Laino: We're not going to get into all of that in this episode.
8:59
Nicole Laino: But there is just this inherent sense of like, well, this is what I would do or this is what I wished I had and that is conditioning.
9:08
Nicole Laino: And even though you have that kid's best interests at heart, you might be steering them wrong.
9:13
Nicole Laino: So today, what I'm going to break down in this episode, I'm going to break down the three things I look for.
9:19
Nicole Laino: First.
9:19
Nicole Laino: There's obviously every time I look at a chart, I'm looking at it very differently.
9:24
Nicole Laino: Because in episodes like this, the limitation is to break it down into just a couple of things.
9:30
Nicole Laino: When obviously the whole chart has a whole story that it is telling about an individual because there are so many pieces in.
9:36
Nicole Laino: But what I can give you are the three things that I look for first, where my eye goes to first.
9:42
Nicole Laino: A lot of times when I'm looking at a child's chart and usually I'm working with the parent and the parent is my client.
9:50
Nicole Laino: I do this a lot with my one one clients where they have their kids charts or they have a thing going on with their child and they're curious so I run a chart, but I'm always looking at both of their charts at the same time and we're going to get to that.
10:03
Nicole Laino: So what I'm going to tell you today the three things that I look for first when working with kids and the key question that sits at the heart of the whole thing.
10:12
Nicole Laino: So it'll be three things and then I kind of have these question that is at the heart of all of it that I'll talk to you about at the end.
10:19
Nicole Laino: Okay, so before we get started, if you are someone who is interested in guiding people with human design, if you are interested in knowing how this all works on a human level outside of just the information, and really being able to understand how to integrate this with people and guide yourself, then please download our new free guide, which is called the Coach's Guide to Human Design.
10:42
Nicole Laino: You can just DM me the word coach on Instagram.
10:45
Nicole Laino: I'm icolenofficial.
10:46
Nicole Laino: We will sign you up and get it over to you right there in the DMs or go to nicolelaino.com coach and you can download it right from our website.
10:55
Nicole Laino: Okay, so let's get started.
10:57
Nicole Laino: So there's three things that I look for first when I'm working with a child's chart.
11:02
Nicole Laino: Now the first one's going to be kind of obvious.
11:04
Nicole Laino: I am looking at their type.
11:06
Nicole Laino: So what type of energy do they have?
11:10
Nicole Laino: This is going to tell you a lot.
11:11
Nicole Laino: This is going to tell you potentially how they behave in school or how well they can sit through a class.
11:18
Nicole Laino: And there's going to be different issues that come up with this.
11:21
Nicole Laino: So a projector child might be more able to sit still in class for longer than a generator child if that generator child hasn't had ample exercise time to burn all of that energy off or if they're older.
11:38
Nicole Laino: Again, I think that sometimes that's why kids who are generators can do a little bit better too when they change classes because there's like this things to respond to.
11:47
Nicole Laino: Like the sacral gets kind of lit up again before they go to their next class.
11:51
Nicole Laino: But when they're really little and they're in elementary school where they're just kind of in the same room all day and going out for recess and all of that, but they're kind of captive in a room, I don't like, that's probably not the best choice of words, but you know what I mean?
12:05
Nicole Laino: They're glued to this one seat most of the day, looking at the same faces and the same teacher and all of that, that can be a bit more of a challenge.
12:13
Nicole Laino: A projector child might have an easier time sitting through class, but they might have a Harder time getting through the entire day.
12:21
Nicole Laino: And when they do get through the whole day, then they might be really tired.
12:25
Nicole Laino: Or like a manifesto child might have a hard time with all of the rules in school and that will stretch probably for their whole lives.
12:34
Nicole Laino: They'll have trouble with rules in their company.
12:37
Nicole Laino: If they get hired by a company, there's going to be these inherent things that they have to get really comfortable with.
12:44
Nicole Laino: And we have to try to find ways for them to find alignment in these structures that we're asking them to participate in.
12:51
Nicole Laino: Right.
12:52
Nicole Laino: But at the core of what type is telling us is that type of energy.
12:55
Nicole Laino: But it's also telling us how do they make their way in the world?
12:59
Nicole Laino: What are they here for?
13:00
Nicole Laino: And let's dig a little bit deeper in there because when I say that, I'm almost like, well, it's not really like what they're here for, it is what they're here for.
13:07
Nicole Laino: A projector is going to be here.
13:09
Nicole Laino: A projector is naturally going to want to focus their energy on like one person and maybe tell them what to do.
13:18
Nicole Laino: They might be a little bossy in a different way than a manifestor is kind of bossy.
13:24
Nicole Laino: Like a manifesto is just going to do things.
13:26
Nicole Laino: They're going to like, declare or inform.
13:29
Nicole Laino: This is what I'm doing.
13:30
Nicole Laino: And there's going to be kids that naturally follow that.
13:32
Nicole Laino: And then some of them are really going to want to be alone a lot of the time.
13:36
Nicole Laino: So just understanding how you honor who the kid is.
13:41
Nicole Laino: And if they're a generator or a manifesting generator, that kid's going to need some exercise.
13:48
Nicole Laino: That kid is going to need time to blow off that steam.
13:51
Nicole Laino: These are going to be those kids that like, you don't know how they still have energy at the end of the day.
13:59
Nicole Laino: Like, wow, look at them go.
14:01
Nicole Laino: And all of these things have benefits and challenges, right?
14:07
Nicole Laino: I have a projector child.
14:09
Nicole Laino: It is a very pretty calm home that I have.
14:13
Nicole Laino: I don't have a rambunctious kid that was always like, you know, wasn't a typical boy in the way that boys are described.
14:19
Nicole Laino: A lot of times that they're always bouncing off the walls and they're running and fighting.
14:23
Nicole Laino: My kid doesn't do that.
14:24
Nicole Laino: He has little bursts of that and then he's like, I need to go chill now.
14:30
Nicole Laino: That's wonderful.
14:30
Nicole Laino: On a day to day, most of the time you've probably heard me talk about Disneyland and amusement parks and things like that where it's like, oh, you pay to get in at $300 to get in person to this park.
14:44
Nicole Laino: You're kind of like, I want to get everything that we can out of this.
14:47
Nicole Laino: My kid's tired.
14:50
Nicole Laino: He does not have the stamina that a lot of other kids have that the generator kids have.
14:56
Nicole Laino: And he gets super cranky.
14:59
Nicole Laino: So for me, knowing that was kind of life changing.
15:05
Nicole Laino: I wouldn't have meant to be a bad mom, but I probably would have been in Disneyland, when we go on, like two rides, we get there, we're there maybe an hour, and he's saying, I'm tired.
15:19
Nicole Laino: If I didn't know that he was a projector and understand his need for rest and honor his energy stores, then I probably would have been like, you're not tired.
15:31
Nicole Laino: We just got here.
15:32
Nicole Laino: Because I'm not tired, right?
15:34
Nicole Laino: Because I would have said, I'm old.
15:37
Nicole Laino: I'm almost 50.
15:39
Nicole Laino: How is it that I'm not tired and you're tired?
15:41
Nicole Laino: Like, that probably would have been where my mind would have gone.
15:44
Nicole Laino: And I probably would have said some of those things, and I wouldn't have thought I was wrong.
15:48
Nicole Laino: I might have been nice about them, but I might have been like, maybe we just got here.
15:53
Nicole Laino: Come on.
15:54
Nicole Laino: And instead I was like, you know what?
15:56
Nicole Laino: He doesn't have the energy stores that I do.
15:59
Nicole Laino: So, yeah, we need to rest a little bit, right?
16:02
Nicole Laino: And maybe that makes me a bad mom, because I would have said the other things if I hadn't known about human design.
16:07
Nicole Laino: But we all have our paths to finding our highest self and our highest parent, and human design was mine.
16:14
Nicole Laino: But type also gives you their signature and their not self theme.
16:18
Nicole Laino: It gives you their alignment theme and how this kid is going to succeed or feel like they're on their path and what are the signals for them.
16:29
Nicole Laino: Not so.
16:30
Nicole Laino: If you have a generator kid, and they are frustrated all the time and they're pissed that they're really meant to be.
16:37
Nicole Laino: Like, my son has some friends that are generators, and they're some of the happiest kids because they don't have anything that the rest of the world has, right?
16:45
Nicole Laino: They don't have anything that the grownups have.
16:46
Nicole Laino: They don't have bills.
16:47
Nicole Laino: They don't have a care in the world, right?
16:50
Nicole Laino: These kids are taken care of.
16:51
Nicole Laino: They are very loved.
16:53
Nicole Laino: And they have all of this energy, and they're just like, life is great, you know?
16:56
Nicole Laino: And they're yelling and they're having so much fun, and they're like, what are we doing next?
17:01
Nicole Laino: They're so happy.
17:02
Nicole Laino: If they were frustrated, the majority of the time, then something would be wrong.
17:07
Nicole Laino: So it's your way in with your kid or with the kids that you have in your life to be able to see when things are not right with them.
17:17
Nicole Laino: They may not even know it, they may not be able to tell you, but it gives you a path for inquiry.
17:24
Nicole Laino: How can I ask them about this?
17:26
Nicole Laino: How can I maybe get this kid that's kind of frustrated and maybe ask them what would make them feel really good and get them back on their path and get them back into their alignment?
17:36
Nicole Laino: Energy, where things are going to feel right for them, where things are going to flow for them.
17:41
Nicole Laino: And if they're consistently frustrated, then that's something to look at.
17:45
Nicole Laino: Right?
17:45
Nicole Laino: So that's the first thing, Type.
17:46
Nicole Laino: And I mean, we could go on.
17:47
Nicole Laino: I could do a whole course just on kids and their type, but we only have so much time here.
17:53
Nicole Laino: The second thing that I look at is profile.
17:57
Nicole Laino: So profile is telling us who they are, what type of energy do they have, what does their path kind of look like?
18:06
Nicole Laino: Are they going to be more of a doer and someone who's getting their hands into everything, or are they going to be more of somebody who is like super focused and is maybe guiding energy?
18:16
Nicole Laino: Or are they going to be a trailblazer?
18:18
Nicole Laino: Or are they going to be somebody who is like constantly changing and how do I support this type of path?
18:26
Nicole Laino: Right, so that's what type does.
18:29
Nicole Laino: Profile, though, is who they are, what role are they playing?
18:35
Nicole Laino: How do they make their way through life?
18:39
Nicole Laino: What are they here to do?
18:41
Nicole Laino: So the reason I have profile in there is I do think that this is the easiest thing to spot in kids.
18:47
Nicole Laino: I think that this is the simplest way to help them and know what to give them or know what to encourage them on.
18:55
Nicole Laino: Of course, these are all human traits, right?
18:57
Nicole Laino: We research things, we study, we have natural talents, we.
19:03
Nicole Laino: We try things, we get our hands dirty, we get in the mix, we make friends, we make connections, we learn to speak and kind of put our thoughts out there.
19:13
Nicole Laino: And then we have a different form of leadership.
19:15
Nicole Laino: That's the six lines through like a human lens, right?
19:20
Nicole Laino: So these are human traits, these are human things.
19:22
Nicole Laino: We're all going to have some mix of them because most likely they will have at least one of all the lines throughout their whole design.
19:31
Nicole Laino: But what their profile is, their actual personality profile, it is going to tell you what is the dominant theme for them.
19:40
Nicole Laino: So it will tell you a lot.
19:42
Nicole Laino: It'll tell you what their way is.
19:45
Nicole Laino: How do they make their way through this life how do they live out an aligned projector?
19:52
Nicole Laino: How do they live out as an aligned generator?
19:55
Nicole Laino: Or what is that going to look like for them?
19:57
Nicole Laino: Profile, I think for everybody, just one of the most actionable pieces of human design because it does tell you very much about the doing.
20:06
Nicole Laino: Some things are very much about the being.
20:08
Nicole Laino: But profile is really telling you about the doing.
20:10
Nicole Laino: It's telling you about how you fulfill your role, what your role is, and how you fulfill it in this life.
20:16
Nicole Laino: So if you're a three line and you are researching everything and you're afraid to try stuff, then that is going to really hinder your progress in this life.
20:27
Nicole Laino: You're going to have to learn.
20:28
Nicole Laino: And if your kid has a three line, it's going to be really important that you change their relationship to failure, that you teach them that taking action and just trying things is so important.
20:42
Nicole Laino: And the truth is that if you don't beat that out of them, they will probably have that.
20:47
Nicole Laino: They will probably have that.
20:49
Nicole Laino: We know our design, we speak our design, we live our design.
20:52
Nicole Laino: Until something teaches us that it's not safe, it's not welcome, it won't get us what we want, or we're bad or wrong for being that way.
21:02
Nicole Laino: Right.
21:03
Nicole Laino: So if you don't get in their way, they will most likely, if you have a three line kid, they won't have a problem with trying things.
21:09
Nicole Laino: It will be a very natural thing for them.
21:12
Nicole Laino: Your job is to not get mad when they break stuff, because they're going to break stuff.
21:17
Nicole Laino: You know, I look at my husband is a three line and there's all these stories of like the calamities that he caused when he was a child.
21:26
Nicole Laino: Like he drove a car into the house when he was a child, like put the car into gear, into neutral.
21:33
Nicole Laino: We're talking in the 80s or late 70s and you could still do that.
21:37
Nicole Laino: That would be very difficult to do now.
21:39
Nicole Laino: But before you had to like put your foot on the brake to actually shift the gears in a car, he did that and he drove the car right into the house.
21:47
Nicole Laino: Thankfully, nobody was hurt.
21:49
Nicole Laino: He had like some sort of angelic beings around him because he was always okay.
21:55
Nicole Laino: But he did all sorts of things that kids aren't supposed to do.
21:58
Nicole Laino: To me, I just look at him like it's such a three line thing.
22:01
Nicole Laino: So he didn't have a problem with that.
22:03
Nicole Laino: And thankfully his parents really just treated it.
22:08
Nicole Laino: They let it roll off.
22:09
Nicole Laino: You know, they were like, we need you to stay safe.
22:11
Nicole Laino: But like they had this sense that he would be okay.
22:15
Nicole Laino: And that he was okay.
22:17
Nicole Laino: And thankfully they didn't make him feel bad for all the ways that he screwed up, which there were myriad of ways that he screwed up throughout his life, but it's actually part of his magic now.
22:29
Nicole Laino: So profile is telling you how to parent that kid.
22:33
Nicole Laino: Like really how to parent that kid.
22:35
Nicole Laino: And with a three line too, you might say, you know, like, there might be some study that you want to do.
22:40
Nicole Laino: There's always a balance to everything.
22:42
Nicole Laino: The emphasis is going to be on this is your magic.
22:45
Nicole Laino: But we're also human beings who need balance in our lives.
22:48
Nicole Laino: So a three line is going to probably.
22:52
Nicole Laino: They can be a little bit pessimistic because things go wrong.
22:55
Nicole Laino: They need to learn a little bit of optimism.
22:58
Nicole Laino: They need to have a little bit more of like, maybe they do need a little bit of a foundation.
23:02
Nicole Laino: They don't need a foundation like a one line needs a foundation.
23:05
Nicole Laino: But that's a good lesson to learn for them and you start to understand what are their lessons and then what's like just good parenting of balancing them out.
23:14
Nicole Laino: And I think profile really tells you that, and it tells you what their personality profile is and then what their design profile is.
23:21
Nicole Laino: What's the balance that we're creating within this human being?
23:24
Nicole Laino: Right.
23:25
Nicole Laino: So if they're a 3, 5, it's going to be different than a 1, 3.
23:28
Nicole Laino: That's going to be a different three line expression and.
23:31
Nicole Laino: And it's going to be a different person.
23:33
Nicole Laino: Right.
23:34
Nicole Laino: So if they carry one of the projected lines, if they are a 2, you may have lots of ideas about what that kid is good at and what they should do.
23:45
Nicole Laino: And the projection field is.
23:47
Nicole Laino: You're going to want to impose that on them.
23:50
Nicole Laino: They have to accept it.
23:52
Nicole Laino: They have to say, I want to be chosen for that.
23:56
Nicole Laino: And that can be a lesson in restraint for the parent.
23:59
Nicole Laino: Nurturing their natural talents without necessarily forcing it on them.
24:05
Nicole Laino: That's a balance.
24:06
Nicole Laino: Letting that kid have their time alone and not making them feel bad for it.
24:12
Nicole Laino: Recognizing I have a five line son, I have a five line husband, and I'm a five line.
24:18
Nicole Laino: Understanding that we are projecting on each other all the time has been such a lesson for me.
24:28
Nicole Laino: And I'm not always passing because I'm human, but I'm reminded constantly because this stuff is in my being of how I operate.
24:38
Nicole Laino: It's like I recognize sometimes where my standards are really high for my son, and it's because I'm projecting on him what I think he can do.
24:48
Nicole Laino: And a lot of times with fives we forget how young they are.
24:52
Nicole Laino: I know that was done to me and it wasn't done on purpose.
24:55
Nicole Laino: There is a old soul maturity to a five, particularly a five in the front and a personality five.
25:03
Nicole Laino: There's going to be an old soul, potentially sort of maturity to these kids, but they are kids and it's important to remind ourselves of that.
25:13
Nicole Laino: And I have to do that.
25:15
Nicole Laino: I'm pretty good at it now.
25:16
Nicole Laino: When he was really little, though, that was hard.
25:19
Nicole Laino: I'd be like, oh, my God, he's two.
25:21
Nicole Laino: Sometimes I forget like, just how little he is.
25:25
Nicole Laino: It's easier now that he's a bit older because we can have a conversation about it.
25:29
Nicole Laino: But, oh, you are projecting on a baby if they are five.
25:33
Nicole Laino: You are absolutely projecting that baby and you don't mean to.
25:36
Nicole Laino: It didn't make me a bad mom.
25:38
Nicole Laino: It made me in the program.
25:40
Nicole Laino: I was getting sucked into the energy of it and not being aware of it.
25:45
Nicole Laino: And that's what we want to create in our parenting through human design, is to be able to remind ourselves of the things that are important for that particular kid.
25:55
Nicole Laino: Right now, the third piece, you might be like, oh, she's going to talk about authority.
25:59
Nicole Laino: Yeah, not really.
26:00
Nicole Laino: Authority is important.
26:02
Nicole Laino: I think it's hard to teach kids authority.
26:07
Nicole Laino: It's important for the parent to know.
26:09
Nicole Laino: But I actually look for one other thing before I am like, really digging into authority.
26:15
Nicole Laino: So, like, my son is a splenic authority.
26:17
Nicole Laino: I want him to trust his instincts.
26:19
Nicole Laino: We have to work through some fear stuff because fear is a really big theme for him.
26:25
Nicole Laino: And we work on building courage.
26:27
Nicole Laino: There's a lot of this stuff.
26:28
Nicole Laino: He also has a one line.
26:29
Nicole Laino: So this is where we get layered, right?
26:31
Nicole Laino: Because it's how everything in the chart is interacting.
26:34
Nicole Laino: If you have a teenager, maybe where you're explaining to them what their design is, then I would get into authority because you want them and you do start seeding this when they're small, trying to get them to make decisions through their authority and helping them trust themselves in that way.
26:49
Nicole Laino: So you want sacral kids to feel like they are getting answer from their body, getting answer from their belly, getting answer from a place inside of them, not from a way that they're thinking about it or what other people are doing.
27:04
Nicole Laino: We want to empower them to do that.
27:07
Nicole Laino: We want emotional authorities to take their time with the answers that they give and with the decisions that they make.
27:13
Nicole Laino: We want to start that.
27:14
Nicole Laino: But that's not the thing that I look at necessarily.
27:17
Nicole Laino: First I look Right to the center of the chart.
27:20
Nicole Laino: The third thing that I look at first in a chart is I look at the G center.
27:24
Nicole Laino: And I look at.
27:25
Nicole Laino: Because to me, that says so much about a child.
27:29
Nicole Laino: Do they have an open G or do they have a defined gift?
27:32
Nicole Laino: If they have, is their identity more open, where they have to try lots of things on.
27:40
Nicole Laino: I'm going to guide that kid so much differently than a kid that has a defined G center, who probably already has a really good sense of who they are and their own sense of identity.
27:53
Nicole Laino: And I want to just make sure that's in the strongest, most high expression that it can be.
28:00
Nicole Laino: But I see this all the time with kids who have an open G center.
28:05
Nicole Laino: I do think that those kids are often.
28:08
Nicole Laino: And this kind of brings me to my key question.
28:11
Nicole Laino: So I gave you the three things that I look at.
28:13
Nicole Laino: Type, profile, G center.
28:15
Nicole Laino: That's like the first things where my eye goes first when I look at a kid's chart.
28:19
Nicole Laino: Do they have an open G center?
28:20
Nicole Laino: Sometimes that's even the first thing I just look at it.
28:23
Nicole Laino: It's like, is that colored in or is that white?
28:25
Nicole Laino: And what type are they?
28:26
Nicole Laino: What profile are they?
28:27
Nicole Laino: And then I can kind of work with the rest.
28:28
Nicole Laino: And everything else comes under because this is where we get susceptible.
28:32
Nicole Laino: I can't tell you it's this one thing.
28:34
Nicole Laino: It depends on the chart.
28:35
Nicole Laino: So the key question I'm asking is how does this child's chart differ from mine or from the parent, or how is it the same?
28:44
Nicole Laino: These are the two things I'm looking at now.
28:47
Nicole Laino: There's going to be very clear things that I'm looking at.
28:49
Nicole Laino: It's going to change with every chart.
28:52
Nicole Laino: The spleen might not be the biggest thing that we're looking at, but in that family, it might be.
28:57
Nicole Laino: This might be the only kid with an open spleen.
28:59
Nicole Laino: And everybody has a defined spleen.
29:01
Nicole Laino: They might be really attached.
29:02
Nicole Laino: They might have a hard time letting go of mom and dad.
29:05
Nicole Laino: There's all of these things that come into play when you ask these two questions.
29:09
Nicole Laino: But how does this child's chart differ from mine?
29:12
Nicole Laino: Let's start with that one.
29:13
Nicole Laino: So the G center thing that I was talking about, why I look at the G center is I do find that, like, parents like easier than where we differ, right?
29:25
Nicole Laino: So if you have an open G center, I have one person in my life that comes to mind where her whole family, they're all open G center.
29:32
Nicole Laino: They all have an open G center.
29:34
Nicole Laino: Nobody has definition in their G center.
29:36
Nicole Laino: And she is 100% open there not a gate defined in her g center.
29:41
Nicole Laino: I think her husband is like that too.
29:44
Nicole Laino: But two kids, husband, wife, Nobody has a defined g center.
29:48
Nicole Laino: They have this very adventurous life where they're, like, living overseas and they're doing all these things where they're kind of nomadic.
29:54
Nicole Laino: And that is such an open g center thing that I think works for all of them so much because of this openness in who they are and the place that they're in.
30:06
Nicole Laino: The g center is about environment.
30:08
Nicole Laino: Where do I feel like myself, and can I allow that to change?
30:13
Nicole Laino: Where we have difficulty is when we have a difference.
30:18
Nicole Laino: So a defined g center parent, open g center kid, that parent's experience of self and environment and place is going to be very different fundamentally from the child's.
30:34
Nicole Laino: So when we start asking the questions like, what would I do?
30:37
Nicole Laino: Or what do I wish somebody did for me?
30:40
Nicole Laino: Or how did I lead myself through this?
30:44
Nicole Laino: Those answers are not going to lead that child to their aligned path.
30:50
Nicole Laino: They're going to lead them to what you wish you had, your supposed aligned path.
30:55
Nicole Laino: But it's a very different path that kid is on.
30:58
Nicole Laino: And I think that is really important to understand.
31:02
Nicole Laino: So that's one of the reasons why g center I go to first, because it's such a fundamental part of who that child is and how they navigate purpose and direction in this world.
31:14
Nicole Laino: That's what parents want to give to their kids most is purpose and direction.
31:18
Nicole Laino: They want them to have a sense of purpose.
31:20
Nicole Laino: They want them to have a sense of identity.
31:22
Nicole Laino: And for those kids that are open there, they're not going to have that all the time.
31:29
Nicole Laino: They have to feel safe for that to be something that comes and goes, that changes.
31:34
Nicole Laino: They have to feel safe for it to be like, yeah, I did that for a while, but now my path feels like this.
31:40
Nicole Laino: And to follow that the way that it's meant to be for them, which can be really triggering for the parent who is like, that's not really how you should do it.
31:50
Nicole Laino: You should really, like, you know, you've been going on this path for a while.
31:52
Nicole Laino: You should stick with it.
31:53
Nicole Laino: It's the worst advice you can give that kid.
31:56
Nicole Laino: So how does the child's chart differ?
31:58
Nicole Laino: And then how is it the same?
31:59
Nicole Laino: I think it's very interesting to look at the sameness in the chart.
32:02
Nicole Laino: Where do you have commonality?
32:05
Nicole Laino: And there will be some.
32:07
Nicole Laino: Typically, it could be a gate.
32:09
Nicole Laino: It could be a channel.
32:11
Nicole Laino: These could be just centers or a profile.
32:14
Nicole Laino: Like, my son and I are Both five ones.
32:17
Nicole Laino: But my husband and he are both projectors.
32:20
Nicole Laino: And I'm the outlier in the type area, and my husband is the odd man out in the profile area.
32:27
Nicole Laino: And I see it completely how my son and I are the same in our five oneness.
32:32
Nicole Laino: Oh, my goodness.
32:33
Nicole Laino: And my husband certainly sees it.
32:35
Nicole Laino: He's like, oh, my God, he's exactly like you.
32:36
Nicole Laino: But he's not.
32:37
Nicole Laino: He's not exactly like me.
32:39
Nicole Laino: He's exactly like me in certain ways, and then he's just like my husband in some other ways.
32:44
Nicole Laino: The focus that the two of them have, their stillness, that projector quality of being able to see things on a deeper level.
32:52
Nicole Laino: Highly, highly perceptive.
32:55
Nicole Laino: And while I'm perceptive, I work at it.
32:57
Nicole Laino: That's not my natural, like, talent.
32:59
Nicole Laino: I have a different way of perceiving things than they do.
33:03
Nicole Laino: I'm perceiving through all the things that I've done and the things I'm responding to.
33:07
Nicole Laino: They are just feeling it.
33:09
Nicole Laino: They don't have to work at it.
33:11
Nicole Laino: They just have to be chosen or be tuned into that person or that project or process or whatever it is that they're seeing.
33:20
Nicole Laino: A clearer, more efficient path.
33:24
Nicole Laino: That's what they do.
33:26
Nicole Laino: So the sameness in the chartwhat I think is interesting about that is this is where kids can really be like a mirror of you.
33:35
Nicole Laino: You're gonna see if you have the same type.
33:38
Nicole Laino: You're gonna see how beautiful that type is, and you might see how annoying that type is, or you might see how difficult that type is because you're seeing it through the kid.
33:47
Nicole Laino: You're seeing it play out in front of you like a little movie, like a little example living right in your house.
33:52
Nicole Laino: But this is where the magic is.
33:55
Nicole Laino: So again, it's this lens that you're looking at life through human design has changed every single relationship in my life.
34:03
Nicole Laino: Not because I know everybody's chart, but because I recognize that fundamentally, we are all different.
34:09
Nicole Laino: And when I see people, that doesn't mean I like everybody.
34:14
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean I'm super excited to hang out with everybody.
34:17
Nicole Laino: Hell, no.
34:19
Nicole Laino: But I am appreciative of the differences.
34:22
Nicole Laino: And I don't immediately assume that everybody should be like me, think like me, act like me, move like me.
34:29
Nicole Laino: And I don't pass it through that judgment filter of being like, well, I would have done it like this.
34:34
Nicole Laino: I instead look at them and I say, oh, well, maybe they're built different than me.
34:39
Nicole Laino: And I wonder if they're a manifester.
34:41
Nicole Laino: I wonder if they're a projector, I wonder if they're a reflector.
34:44
Nicole Laino: And sometimes I play that game not so I can label them, but so I can start to.
34:50
Nicole Laino: And this is, I think, what makes me a good, if not great, human design reader and coach is that I have made such a practice of observing people, whether I know their charts or not.
35:02
Nicole Laino: And certainly the ones I know, their charts, I'm observing.
35:05
Nicole Laino: But just observing people and recognizing the differences in how people move, in how people work, in the way that they're functioning.
35:15
Nicole Laino: If I see somebody who is angry, a lot like angry, I do notice that I don't see a lot of angry projectors.
35:25
Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean that they don't get angry.
35:27
Nicole Laino: It comes out of them differently.
35:29
Nicole Laino: They're more pissed about things.
35:31
Nicole Laino: There's a different essence to it.
35:33
Nicole Laino: There is a different energy to it.
35:36
Nicole Laino: It's not a scary energy.
35:37
Nicole Laino: Usually when a projector is mad, their anger comes out differently.
35:42
Nicole Laino: Their anger comes out in hurt.
35:44
Nicole Laino: Their anger can come off in defensiveness.
35:46
Nicole Laino: Their anger can come off in bitterness.
35:48
Nicole Laino: Absolutely.
35:49
Nicole Laino: But if I see anger, like real hot anger, I don't know if I've really been wrong about this, where I've felt it.
35:56
Nicole Laino: And I know instantly, I'm like, that's either manifester or manifesting generator.
36:02
Nicole Laino: Because even the generators, their anger has a much more good natured feel to it.
36:07
Nicole Laino: It feels frustrated.
36:09
Nicole Laino: You feel their frustration.
36:10
Nicole Laino: You don't feel the boiling anger like you do from a mani gen or a manifestor.
36:18
Nicole Laino: So we don't want to make people feel wrong for being who they are.
36:21
Nicole Laino: They're out of alignment.
36:23
Nicole Laino: So I hope that this helped.
36:25
Nicole Laino: I hope that you guys see how this system, you know, when you start to look at it as a method for guiding people, as a method for guiding your kids.
36:35
Nicole Laino: And whether you're guiding or not, it's deeply understanding people and having not just an acceptance, but an appreciation for how we are all different and that the world needs all of us.
36:47
Nicole Laino: It just needs us in our highest expression.
36:49
Nicole Laino: So rather than thinking they should be different, it's how can I guide them to the highest expression of who they are?
36:55
Nicole Laino: Because the world needs it.
36:57
Nicole Laino: So I hope that this helped.
36:58
Nicole Laino: If you would like the coach's guide to human design, all you have to do is go to Instagram and DM me the word coach.
37:04
Nicole Laino: I'm icoleno official.
37:06
Nicole Laino: Or go to nicolelaino.com coach and you can download it right there on the website.
37:11
Nicole Laino: Thanks for being here.
37:13
Nicole Laino: I'm so happy we got to do this.
37:14
Nicole Laino: And we got to talk about kids and human design and all the fun stuff.
37:18
Nicole Laino: I hope you enjoyed it.
37:19
Nicole Laino: And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first become an unshakable human.
37:24
Nicole Laino: So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with Human Design.
37:27
Nicole Laino: We'll see you next time.
37:28
Nicole Laino: If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show us the love on itunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to the show and leave us a review.
37:35
Nicole Laino: And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
37:42
Nicole Laino: Go to nicolelaino Me Podcastlinks to join the group.
37:47
Nicole Laino: Book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources.
37:51
Nicole Laino: We'll see you there.