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8 Fruitful Characteristics of a Godly Marriage - 245 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:07
  Daniel Moore: you know, usually when there's not love in that situation it's so noticeable, you know, whenever that happens.
• 0:13
  Daniel Moore: But then when somebody does love each other, you can really tell that also, and I think sometimes, though, love can be shown in different ways.
• 0:22
  Michelle Moore: It's not always like dan and I love to hold hands.
• 0:25
  Michelle Moore: You know we love to do things like that, but I think some couples it's different for them, like they don't have to have that physical touch.
• 0:33
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 0:33
  Michelle Moore: You know, but you know that they love each other.
• 0:36
  Michelle Moore: You can just see it.
• 0:37
  Daniel Moore: They've got each other's back.
• 0:38
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 0:40
  Daniel Moore: This week on Marriage Life and More, we're going to talk about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage.
• 0:47
  Daniel Moore: What do you think those are?
• 0:49
  Daniel Moore: Well, we're going to discuss that this week on Marriage Life and More.
• 0:52
  Daniel Moore: We'll be back right after this.
• 0:54
  Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:29
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible and book studies.
• 1:32
  Daniel Moore: We interview people sometimes that have inspiring stories.
• 1:35
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host.
• 1:37
  Daniel Moore: I have my wife, Michelle, sitting over here today.
• 1:39
  Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
• 1:40
  Daniel Moore: She's my beautiful co-host sitting over there.
• 1:42
  Daniel Moore: I want to thank you guys for joining us this week.
• 1:44
  Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at www.
• 1:46
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• 1:46
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• 1:48
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• 1:51
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• 1:55
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• 2:00
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• 2:10
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• 2:14
  Daniel Moore: Well, this week we were going to start a new series, but I'm actually pushing that off one extra week just to make sure that we're completely ready to launch that.
• 2:21
  Daniel Moore: Next week, lord willing.
• 2:23
  Daniel Moore: We're going to start a series that we've called Marriage Reset and we're going to be talking about how to get back to soulmates when you feel like you've become roommates in your marriage.
• 2:34
  Daniel Moore: It's going to be a series that we're going to go through, and I know that a lot of times that happens with marriages and that needs to be fixed.
• 2:42
  Daniel Moore: You don't want to be a roommate when you're married.
• 2:45
  Daniel Moore: You want to be a soulmate and share everything that God has in store for you within your marriage.
• 2:50
  Daniel Moore: So we'll be kicking that off next week.
• 2:51
  Daniel Moore: What we're going to do for this week is we're going to talk a little bit about fruits in our marriage.
• 3:00
  Daniel Moore: This week, we're going to talk about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage.
• 3:04
  Daniel Moore: Marriage is a precious gift given to us by a gracious God who wants us to experience the profound pleasure of a committed, loving and fruitful marriage relationship.
• 3:23
  Daniel Moore: He created marriage as a beautiful picture of how Christ loves his people, the church, a worldly.
• 3:30
  Daniel Moore: Purpose of marriage is the act of marrying someone to fulfill ourselves, complete ourselves or make ourselves happy.
• 3:37
  Daniel Moore: In fact, that is not the purpose at all.
• 3:41
  Daniel Moore: God gave us marriage to encourage love and spur our spouse into the person that God created them to be.
• 3:48
  Daniel Moore: If we go into marriage expecting to be entirely fulfilled by another person, you're going to probably be majorly disappointed.
• 3:57
  Daniel Moore: This is possibly why the divorce rate is so high today out there in the world.
• 4:02
  Daniel Moore: People get married.
• 4:04
  Daniel Moore: The person they're committed to isn't what they thought they were.
• 4:07
  Daniel Moore: They aren't happy or fulfilled, so they just decide to get up and walk away.
• 4:12
  Daniel Moore: This must be devastating to our loving Father, who purposed marriage for so much more.
• 4:19
  Daniel Moore: This week, based on Scripture, we're going to talk about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage.
• 4:25
  Daniel Moore: So the first fruit here that we want to talk about is that our marriage should be filled with love.
• 4:34
  Daniel Moore: In 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 8, it talks about love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
• 4:52
  Daniel Moore: Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
• 4:56
  Daniel Moore: It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
• 5:01
  Daniel Moore: You know it's not easy to exude patience when the person we married is getting under our skin.
• 5:07
  Michelle Moore: That is so true.
• 5:08
  Daniel Moore: Just like it is not easy to be selfless in our choices and not hold grudges.
• 5:12
  Daniel Moore: However, when we surrender our own fleshly reactions and trade them for a loving and kind demeanor, the marriage will benefit greatly.
• 5:19
  Daniel Moore: Now we can live in a peaceful home, knowing that our wrongs aren't counted, your spouse isn't only out there for their own interest, and you are sharing life with someone that you can trust.
• 5:30
  Daniel Moore: What do you think about that?
• 5:31
  Michelle Moore: I love it, I think it's so good.
• 5:33
  Michelle Moore: I mean honestly, when it goes back to it does not dishonor.
• 5:40
  Michelle Moore: Or like love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others.
• 5:46
  Michelle Moore: Like love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others or is not?
• 5:53
  Michelle Moore: self-seeking is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs.
• 5:54
  Michelle Moore: Forgiveness, yeah, there's so much in that.
• 5:55
  Michelle Moore: And love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth and always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
• 6:03
  Michelle Moore: That is one of my favorite scriptures.
• 6:05
  Michelle Moore: I mean, you think about that?
• 6:08
  Daniel Moore: And you know, I know a lot of times spouses have a tendency to hold a grudge sometimes.
• 6:15
  Daniel Moore: But really, when you think about that, if we truly love our spouse, instead of holding a grudge, when we love someone, love says that you work through that.
• 6:26
  Daniel Moore: It doesn't say that you hold it against them and make them regret the day that they were ever born.
• 6:30
  Daniel Moore: That's not how that works.
• 6:32
  Daniel Moore: And so if a fruit of our marriage, you know, if it's going to be godly and it's going to be Christ-centered and he's going to be in it first, then we definitely have to have that type of Christly love, that godly love inside of us.
• 6:49
  Daniel Moore: And we have to make sure that whenever we approach issues in our life or problems or situations, whatever it may be, we go back to that WWJD what would Jesus do?
• 7:03
  Daniel Moore: Right?
• 7:04
  Daniel Moore: You know that that kind of comes into play.
• 7:05
  Daniel Moore: If we, you know, take care of those situations, you know, out of love, then we're not going to, you know, those arguments aren't going to be as bad.
• 7:13
  Daniel Moore: The tempers aren't going to flare like they normally would.
• 7:17
  Daniel Moore: I think a lot of the situations that take place in our marriage has a whole different outcome.
• 7:23
  Michelle Moore: You know, if we approach it that way, Well, I'm so glad you don't count my wrongs.
• 7:27
  Michelle Moore: Well you better not be.
• 7:32
  Daniel Moore: If both of us did that, we'd be in trouble.
• 7:35
  Daniel Moore: We'd have to have quite a few journals laying around.
• 7:39
  Michelle Moore: No, we wouldn't.
• 7:41
  Daniel Moore: No, we do pretty good nowadays, nowadays, yeah, but I do like that.
• 7:46
  Daniel Moore: I think my favorite little line up there in that scripture is it keeps no record of wrongs.
• 7:50
  Daniel Moore: We talked a little bit last week about forgiveness and how that's an ongoing action, you know.
• 7:55
  Daniel Moore: And in the same way, love is an ongoing action.
• 7:58
  Daniel Moore: You know.
• 7:59
  Daniel Moore: You don't love somebody once and then you're done.
• 8:01
  Daniel Moore: That love is actually something that continues, that perseverance as it keeps going, yeah, and to have a surrendered love, you know, for each other means so much, so that's the first fruitful characteristic of a godly marriage.
• 8:15
  Daniel Moore: You're going to notice that you can always tell when a couple loves each other or not.
• 8:19
  Daniel Moore: I mean, usually you can tell real quick just by the way they talk to each other or the way that they react towards each other.
• 8:27
  Daniel Moore: You know, you can tell sometimes that there's distance.
• 8:31
  Daniel Moore: You can tell there's something going on there.
• 8:33
  Daniel Moore: There's just some weird thing Just seems like there's some distance between the two.
• 8:37
  Daniel Moore: You know, usually when there's not love in that situation it's so noticeable, you know, whenever that happens.
• 8:44
  Daniel Moore: But then when somebody does love each other, you can really tell that also.
• 8:48
  Michelle Moore: And I think sometimes, though, love can be shown in different ways.
• 8:52
  Michelle Moore: It's not always like Dan and I love to hold hands you know we love to do things like that but I think some couples it's different for them Like they don't have to have that physical touch.
• 9:04
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 9:04
  Michelle Moore: You know, but you know that they love each other.
• 9:07
  Michelle Moore: You can just see it.
• 9:08
  Daniel Moore: They've got each other's back.
• 9:09
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, I love it, yeah, love it.
• 9:12
  Daniel Moore: So the second fruit here that we want to talk about is ultimate devotion.
• 9:17
  Daniel Moore: Share with us on that one.
• 9:19
  Michelle Moore: So you've got to be devoted to one another in love.
• 9:23
  Michelle Moore: Honor one another above yourselves, and you can find that in Romans 12, 10.
• 9:29
  Michelle Moore: A godly marriage will be two people devoted solely to each other.
• 9:35
  Michelle Moore: They will take a commitment seriously and never seek love and attention from anyone other than their spouse.
• 9:42
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 9:44
  Daniel Moore: Yes, and that devotion is in all aspects of the marriage, and so I know for myself when I look at the relationship that you and I have with each other.
• 9:57
  Daniel Moore: For me, you know to be, I want to be completely devoted.
• 10:01
  Daniel Moore: And you know, with Christ, we are to be completely devoted to him with our life and everything that we do.
• 10:07
  Daniel Moore: And so, as we talk about being completely devoted, what does that look like?
• 10:11
  Daniel Moore: Well, that means that if you're having a bad day, or if I'm having a bad day, if we've got good times, if we've got bad times, regardless of whatever it may be, at the end of the day we still come back to each other and continue to build that bond between each other, to continue to work through those problems, to work through those situations.
• 10:34
  Daniel Moore: You know, if there's an let's say, you're having a bad day at work about something, you know, one of the first people you come to usually is me.
• 10:38
  Daniel Moore: Let's say, you're having a bad day at work about something, you know, one of the first people you come to usually is me, and I know with myself if I have an issue going on or a problem, or whatever it may be, you're my go to.
• 10:48
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 10:49
  Daniel Moore: Same here that's being devoted to someone, because I trust what you have to say.
• 10:54
  Daniel Moore: I trust your input.
• 10:57
  Michelle Moore: I don't trust myself, so I don't know why you trust me.
• 11:01
  Daniel Moore: Well, be thankful that I trust you.
• 11:02
  Daniel Moore: At least somebody does.
• 11:04
  Daniel Moore: But you know that that speaks volumes when you know you can always tell who somebody loves the most or who they're devoted to by their, their main go to person.
• 11:15
  Daniel Moore: You know good.
• 11:16
  Daniel Moore: And of course Christ should always be first.
• 11:19
  Daniel Moore: We should always go to Christ first with everything, obviously.
• 11:22
  Daniel Moore: But when you're married, the next step down from that would be your spouse, and I know some people argue with me over that.
• 11:29
  Daniel Moore: They'll say, oh, there's just something your spouse doesn't need to know.
• 11:32
  Daniel Moore: Well, we've talked about that before.
• 11:33
  Daniel Moore: I totally disagree with that, because I think that if there's an issue that's causing a problem in your marriage, the only way you're going to fix that issue is if you work out that issue between each other.
• 11:43
  Daniel Moore: You know me and John can't figure out minding your problem.
• 11:48
  Daniel Moore: You know it's going to have to be me and you communicating and trying to take care of that.
• 11:53
  Daniel Moore: Whether if there is a counselor involved, that's a different situation.
• 11:56
  Daniel Moore: But my best buddy or whoever it is that I want to go confide in, they're not going to help me fix that problem.
• 12:02
  Daniel Moore: They're probably going to stir the pot more often than not, and so that's not a good thing, and so we always have to make sure that you know those, those what we say when we get married.
• 12:14
  Daniel Moore: You know, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, all of those, those things that we promise to each other.
• 12:21
  Daniel Moore: That speaks devotion.
• 12:22
  Daniel Moore: You know that means that I'm, you're my person.
• 12:26
  Daniel Moore: You know I go to you for everything and I trust that you are going to be there for me when I do that, and then vice versa.
• 12:33
  Daniel Moore: Right, so anything to add to that one at all, to that one at all.
• 12:46
  Daniel Moore: Our third fruitful characteristic of a godly marriage.
• 12:47
  Daniel Moore: Let's see if you guys have this one.
• 12:48
  Daniel Moore: It's submission and love.
• 12:50
  Daniel Moore: The Bible says wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
• 13:00
  Daniel Moore: Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
• 13:07
  Daniel Moore: On the flip side of that, husbands, you need to love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up to her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
• 13:23
  Daniel Moore: In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
• 13:27
  Daniel Moore: He who loves his wife loves himself After all, no one ever hated their own body but they feed and care for their body.
• 13:35
  Daniel Moore: Just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body, does the church, for we are members of his body.
• 13:44
  Daniel Moore: For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.
• 13:47
  Daniel Moore: This is a very profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church.
• 13:51
  Daniel Moore: However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
• 13:57
  Daniel Moore: And those scriptures are out of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22 to 33.
• 14:04
  Daniel Moore: So, when we look at it from the worldly side of things, the worldly culture, the idea of a woman submitting to a man really goes against the current feminist views that are screaming to the women that they are equal to men and should not have to submit to anyone, and we see a lot of that today out there in the world.
• 14:22
  Daniel Moore: However, in the upside down kingdom of our King Jesus, god created man and woman to each have a place in the marriage relationship, explaining that when a woman submits to her husband as the head of the home, they are mirroring Christ in the church.
• 14:37
  Daniel Moore: This doesn't mean the woman is to tolerate being pushed around, controlled or abused, but God wants a woman to respect her husband and he commands the husband to love his wife.
• 14:47
  Daniel Moore: There is a vicious cycle that can take place when respect and love are abused.
• 14:52
  Daniel Moore: If a woman feels unloved, she may start to disrespect her husband, and when a man begins to feel disrespected, he may in turn withhold love from his wife.
• 15:02
  Daniel Moore: God created this aspect of, so I think this one is probably one that you know a lot of couples do have problems with, you know, being submissive and all that kind of thing.
• 15:22
  Daniel Moore: But I think a lot of the times when I actually hear people talk negative about this scripture, I think it's because they're taking the scripture out of context, because a lot of guys and we talked about this before in some of our other episodes that we've had but some guys like to throw that little scripture around to try to control their wife.
• 15:39
  Daniel Moore: You know, if something happens and they don't like it and the wife may argue or pop back or whatever, whether, if they're joking or not, they may throw that scripture.
• 15:47
  Daniel Moore: Well, the Bible says you're to submit to me and do what I say because I'm the head of this household.
• 15:52
  Daniel Moore: You know, I think some guys do use that to their advantage and that's not the way that's supposed to be and that's not the way that's supposed to be.
• 15:59
  Daniel Moore: It's kind of a, it's an underlying understanding that you know for you and I, you know that I'm the head of the home and you submit to that leadership.
• 16:10
  Daniel Moore: You know, with me being under Christ, as long as I am Christ driven and I keep my priorities like they're supposed to be and keep God in the center, you feel comfortable with being in submission to me.
• 16:23
  Daniel Moore: But you also know that if I ever have a question about something or we have a big decision to make or there's a big life change that's going to happen, who's the first person I'm going to come to to discuss that with and get their opinion?
• 16:36
  Daniel Moore: It's going to be you, because we're equals.
• 16:39
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, that submission thing does not mean that you're not equal to me and that you don't have a voice.
• 16:45
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 16:46
  Daniel Moore: And you know, for all the women out there, there's a lot of women that don't have voices in their marriage and we talked about that, I think a couple of episodes ago.
• 16:55
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, we sure did.
• 16:55
  Daniel Moore: Because you kind of came through a situation like that and you kind of explained how, when that happens, it can really damage a woman emotionally and even physically, because sometimes that treatment will cause a woman to not take care of herself.
• 17:14
  Daniel Moore: Physically Even they'll quit eating because maybe they think they're too fat, or they start trying to do all these things, thinking that well, if I do this, this will please him.
• 17:22
  Daniel Moore: You know, and before you know it, you're being damaged emotionally, spiritually and physically.
• 17:28
  Daniel Moore: You have damage coming in from all sides.
• 17:30
  Daniel Moore: That's right, and so that's why I love this scripture and it's such a huge scripture I think that's brought up many times within marriage discussions because this lays it out in black and white what the purpose is of the leadership roles in the home, how that all operates and how it's all cohesive and works together and if it's done correctly, you're going to have a great marriage.
• 17:51
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, you know they're not going to have any issue with that, and so I know with me if I ask you to do something or whatever.
• 17:59
  Daniel Moore: You don't ever argue with me over any of that.
• 18:02
  Daniel Moore: You just trust me and you know you do it.
• 18:06
  Daniel Moore: And then, vice versa, you know if you need help with something, or you ask me to do something.
• 18:11
  Daniel Moore: I respect you, yeah, and so I do that.
• 18:14
  Daniel Moore: And we do that because we love each other.
• 18:16
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 18:17
  Daniel Moore: So that submission and that love does go together If you truly love someone, like we talked about in number one, filled with love, and then we have that ultimate devotion and number two.
• 18:26
  Daniel Moore: Well then, that brings us around to we're willing to be submissive to each other as spouses.
• 18:31
  Daniel Moore: So what's number four?
• 18:33
  Michelle Moore: A prayer filled friendship.
• 18:35
  Michelle Moore: Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.
• 18:39
  Michelle Moore: If either of one of them falls, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
• 18:48
  Michelle Moore: Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
• 18:52
  Michelle Moore: But how can one keep warm alone?
• 18:57
  Michelle Moore: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
• 19:00
  Michelle Moore: A cord of three strands is not quickly broken, and you can find that in Ecclesiastics 4, 9 through 12.
• 19:08
  Michelle Moore: Praying together as husband and wife is one of the most powerful things a couple can do.
• 19:14
  Michelle Moore: This act brings them closer together, aligns them both with God's plan for their lives and grows their personal relationship with their father.
• 19:23
  Michelle Moore: I like that.
• 19:25
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, this is a good one, and I don't want people to think that because you and I don't necessarily get together all the time and pray together, just quote, unquote together in the same spot.
• 19:37
  Daniel Moore: But I know throughout the day you're praying and you know throughout the day that I'm praying and we do have our prayers together, yes, and we definitely do that.
• 19:46
  Daniel Moore: But I think whenever we see you know something put out there like this, that you pray together and you have a prayer-filled relationship, if you've got the time and it's something that you really, you know, feel like it is best in your marriage and you want to make sure that you have that time set aside every day, whether if it's morning, noon, night, whenever it may be that the two of you go in a room and you pray together in the same room, or whatever, then you need to do it because obviously God's laid that on your heart and he's going to bless you for that.
• 20:18
  Daniel Moore: But, in essence, what this is saying, with a prayer filled friendship, is the fact that, regardless of what may happen throughout any of my day, I know that you're praying over me, yeah, and I think you know vice versa.
• 20:30
  Daniel Moore: You know that I'm always, you know, saying prayers over you and making you know.
• 20:34
  Daniel Moore: I always ask God I plead the blood over you and your job.
• 20:37
  Daniel Moore: Plead the blood over you and your job, you know.
• 20:39
  Daniel Moore: I ask him to be with you, to give you know.
• 20:40
  Daniel Moore: One of the prayers that I like to say whenever I pray is to give us wisdom.
• 20:44
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 20:45
  Daniel Moore: As we go throughout this day, and that includes you, and so the whole point of this here is really is we just need to pray?
• 20:53
  Michelle Moore: Absolutely.
• 20:53
  Daniel Moore: And make sure that we do do that, because what's happened in the past when we didn't pray?
• 20:58
  Michelle Moore: Well, my first several years of our marriage.
• 21:01
  Daniel Moore: Didn't work out, did it?
• 21:03
  Michelle Moore: No, and I shouldn't laugh about it, but it's like.
• 21:06
  Michelle Moore: You know, why didn't we put God at the center at the very beginning?
• 21:11
  Michelle Moore: Now that we've been through everything, and then you know all the studying and everything, it's just like I think we laugh because it's a no brainer yeah.
• 21:19
  Michelle Moore: We were so stupid, you know, for us being married before and then going into our second marriage thinking that you know this is going to be all great because we were best friends and everything.
• 21:32
  Michelle Moore: I mean little.
• 21:33
  Michelle Moore: Did we know what was ahead of us?
• 21:35
  Michelle Moore: Did we?
• 21:36
  Daniel Moore: No, it was a long road, that's for sure.
• 21:38
  Daniel Moore: No, it was a long road, that's for sure.
• 21:39
  Daniel Moore: But we both know at this point that if we would have been praying from the very beginning, that our outcome probably would have been much, much better in those first few years.
• 21:49
  Michelle Moore: And even though he chose the restoration process for us, I look at where we're at today and I think of everything we've walked through, and every time we chose to do something that we shouldn't have, he's been with us.
• 22:05
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 22:07
  Michelle Moore: And he took all of our bad decisions.
• 22:09
  Michelle Moore: And let me see, there was a lot of those bad selfish decisions.
• 22:13
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 22:21
  Daniel Moore: And used it for his glory because of where this podcast is and where we are at today and everything that we get to do for marriages.
• 22:24
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and I know this is a strong statement and I've heard this said before and I never understood it, but I do understand it now.
• 22:30
  Daniel Moore: I didn't like any of the thing that we went through in the past when all that bad stuff was happening in our marriage, but for where God has us at this point and what he's doing with it, I have to say that I would almost do it all over again, just because of what we've learned and how we've grown and how we can now pour into we.
• 22:50
  Daniel Moore: We have communication with so many couples that are fighting those same exact battles that we fought.
• 22:56
  Daniel Moore: They may not have, they may not be in as bad of a situation yet as where we ended up at, but that's our goal now is to keep them from doing that, you know, because we know where that goes.
• 23:05
  Michelle Moore: It's our prayer, it's our heart.
• 23:06
  Michelle Moore: We know where that heads to.
• 23:08
  Daniel Moore: And so this is one of those things where God just takes something bad and just turns it into good and allows us the opportunity to build a minister.
• 23:16
  Michelle Moore: We just had to be the vulnerable and open up and talk about it.
• 23:21
  Michelle Moore: I mean that, and it took a process, for I know, for me to be able to talk about what I did you know, definitely so.
• 23:29
  Daniel Moore: The next one here is living as one flesh.
• 23:32
  Daniel Moore: A lot of couples have a problem doing this one too.
• 23:35
  Daniel Moore: The Lord God said it is not good for man to be alone.
• 23:39
  Daniel Moore: I will make a helper suitable for him.
• 23:55
  Daniel Moore: Now the Lord God said stock the birds in the sky, all the wild animals.
• 23:58
  Daniel Moore: But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
• 24:01
  Daniel Moore: So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.
• 24:10
  Daniel Moore: Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man and said this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.
• 24:20
  Daniel Moore: She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.
• 24:24
  Daniel Moore: That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
• 24:29
  Daniel Moore: That's Genesis 2, 18-24.
• 24:33
  Daniel Moore: Well, being married is a peridot, as it is two people coming together as one.
• 24:37
  Daniel Moore: Still two separate hearts, souls and minds.
• 24:41
  Daniel Moore: However, under the commitment of a godly marriage, they are viewed as one.
• 24:46
  Daniel Moore: Having this view of your marriage gives it more depth and more purpose when you make decisions based on God's direction and the betterment of the marriage relationship.
• 24:56
  Daniel Moore: As a soul entity, you begin aligning with God's purpose for your life and your marriage With this one here.
• 25:04
  Daniel Moore: I know that a lot of times in the marriage we always say that the two people, they just become one and I think that when that's said a lot of times it's kind of just mentally forgotten that there's still two separate people in that relationship, and so I don't know.
• 25:29
  Daniel Moore: I think, from the experience of seeing what I've seen some people walk through, it's almost like they get married and one spouse just pours themselves into the other spouse constantly and they never really do anything to build their own selves up or for their own selves to grow or whatever that may be.
• 25:46
  Daniel Moore: And we have to remember that for us to be healthy in our marriage and to remain healthy in our marriage, you have to do what you have to do to keep yourself in line, keep yourself healthy.
• 25:58
  Daniel Moore: Before God and before our marriage I have to do the same thing.
• 26:01
  Daniel Moore: And when it comes to be said that you know in a marriage that everything's about you or everything's about me, that's really not true.
• 26:09
  Daniel Moore: Everything's about us.
• 26:09
  Daniel Moore: Right, that me, that's really not true.
• 26:11
  Daniel Moore: Everything's about us.
• 26:13
  Daniel Moore: Right right, that's the way that that should be.
• 26:15
  Daniel Moore: But then, on the flip side of this, this doesn't mean that you live with your spouse Monday through Friday and then on the weekend you go hang with your buddies, play and pull and whatever Saturday and Sunday, and you actually live two separate lives.
• 26:30
  Daniel Moore: That's not how that works.
• 26:32
  Daniel Moore: Whenever God put us together to be one flesh, when that scripture states that that we're living as one flesh, what that means is that we've come together, we share our hearts, we share our minds, we share our soul and our spirits with each other, and I think that that's proven over time and the fact that there's a lot of things that you do.
• 26:55
  Daniel Moore: Now that you say that a lot of times, I know what you're thinking.
• 26:58
  Daniel Moore: I know what you're going to say.
• 26:59
  Daniel Moore: It's actually kind of weird, it's very weird, and it goes the other way as well.
• 27:04
  Daniel Moore: You know, there's times that I'm thinking something, or you know, it's even the smallest things, like we'll be driving down the road, and this has happened, you know, a couple of times here recently.
• 27:14
  Daniel Moore: It's like I would be thinking well, I'd be cool to kind of go over and look at this, you know, or have been there in a while, yeah, or take this road, and it's like you know we're needing to get home, so it'll say nothing.
• 27:25
  Daniel Moore: Next thing, I know you're turning down the road, you know it's like, it's like you just read my mind, but that's.
• 27:33
  Daniel Moore: That kind of stuff starts happening the longer that you're together and the longer that you're married.
• 27:37
  Daniel Moore: And I think that's what that's where that becoming one flesh kind of comes to fruition at that point, because even though we live separate lives, different bodies, we're two separate people.
• 27:48
  Daniel Moore: When we become married, that whole aspect of our marriage at that point does become one, because we both have that same goal for our future.
• 27:57
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and so anything to add to that one?
• 28:00
  Michelle Moore: No, okay, you did a great job on that.
• 28:11
  Daniel Moore: What's the next one there?
• 28:12
  Michelle Moore: Deep Commitment, place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm, for love is as strong as death.
• 28:21
  Michelle Moore: It's jealousy, unyielding as the grave.
• 28:25
  Michelle Moore: It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
• 28:29
  Michelle Moore: Many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot sweep it away.
• 28:34
  Michelle Moore: If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned.
• 28:41
  Michelle Moore: And that's found in Song of Songs 8, 6 through 7.
• 28:46
  Michelle Moore: This may go without saying, but steadfast commitment is essential to flourish in your marriage.
• 28:51
  Michelle Moore: This means steering clear of temptations to be unfaithful, be it pursuing an unhealthy friendship with someone of the opposite sex, having a physical connection with someone else or confiding in another person, deep and personal things that only should be shared with your spouse.
• 29:10
  Michelle Moore: When the marriage relationship strives to live in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, putting your spouse before yourselves and purposing your marriage to further the kingdom of God, there will be no desire to pursue attention, gratification or pleasure from anyone else other than your spouse.
• 29:29
  Michelle Moore: Guard your marriage against temptation by praying together, coming together as one, and we kind of talked about that in our last episode.
• 29:37
  Michelle Moore: Yep, we did.
• 29:44
  Daniel Moore: You like for me to be committed to you.
• 29:46
  Michelle Moore: Absolutely.
• 29:47
  Daniel Moore: And I like for you to be committed to me.
• 29:48
  Daniel Moore: If you weren't, I'd punch you.
• 29:50
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and I know that, so I value my eyeballs and my nose.
• 29:55
  Daniel Moore: I would not punch him.
• 29:58
  Michelle Moore: I, you know that's my favorite sentence.
• 30:00
  Daniel Moore: That's a bad thing about having insurance where you work, you know, because if she punches me, knocks me out, I can go to the hospital and they'll pay for it.
• 30:09
  Michelle Moore: Just kidding.
• 30:11
  Daniel Moore: But no, there's a lot to that commitment.
• 30:13
  Michelle Moore: It is.
• 30:14
  Daniel Moore: Because I don't have to worry about all of a sudden hearing a rumor that you're running around with somebody, or you know that you tell me one thing but then you lied about it and you go do something else behind my back and the same with me.
• 30:27
  Daniel Moore: You don't have to worry about that with me either, and that's honestly one of the huge steps in making your love relationship work.
• 30:34
  Daniel Moore: In a marriage is making sure that you are committed to each other.
• 30:38
  Michelle Moore: Absolutely Yep.
• 30:39
  Daniel Moore: And you can trust each other.
• 30:40
  Daniel Moore: Trust and commitment, those two go majorly hand in hand.
• 30:45
  Daniel Moore: So the seventh fruit here that you're going to find in a Christian marriage is that they will worship and they will serve God together.
• 30:53
  Daniel Moore: Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs, from the spirit singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
• 31:05
  Daniel Moore: And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through him.
• 31:12
  Daniel Moore: That's Colossians 3, verse 16 and 17.
• 31:16
  Daniel Moore: So the truth of this whole point is that a couple that is plugged into a local church serving together shines bright for Jesus.
• 31:25
  Daniel Moore: Worshiping God together, either at church or in your alone time together, is beneficial for the health of your marriage.
• 31:30
  Daniel Moore: Giving of yourself, your time and your resources provide the marriage with a solid foundation of selfless living that will only serve to exude the love of Christ to others.
• 31:42
  Daniel Moore: So how do you feel in your life, how do you feel that it impacts you that I actually do serve with you at church?
• 31:49
  Daniel Moore: In some areas I sit by you in church through service and worship next to you.
• 31:54
  Daniel Moore: You know, I honor God in everything that I do, whether if it's there or here at home.
• 32:01
  Daniel Moore: How does that make you feel as my spouse?
• 32:05
  Michelle Moore: I absolutely love it.
• 32:06
  Michelle Moore: I mean to have you next to me serving or sitting in the service, worshiping.
• 32:14
  Michelle Moore: It means a lot to me that you chose to sit next to me and I know a lot of times in the past you know you were on the drums in praise and worship.
• 32:26
  Michelle Moore: So I was by myself and we did a life group, or well, we taught a life group at a church together with another couple, but there weren't very many things that we got to do together.
• 32:38
  Michelle Moore: So you know, the church that we go to now or that we attend, we do a lot together.
• 32:46
  Michelle Moore: I mean, you still do your separate thing, I still do mine, but at the same time we chose to sit together.
• 32:51
  Michelle Moore: We chose to sit together, we chose to serve together.
• 32:52
  Michelle Moore: But it's just different when you have your spouse next to you and I know it's probably not necessarily your thing in one of the areas that we do, but you do it because of me.
• 33:03
  Michelle Moore: Vice versa, if you wanted me to go serve on something, I don't know if I could do security, but you know, on something, I don't know if I could do security.
• 33:11
  Michelle Moore: But you know, but it means a lot to me and guys to sit next to your spouse in church to hear them worship the Lord I mean, some guys probably don't sing but my husband does sing and you know to raise his hands and to show the surrender and to show you know, god, you're so worth.
• 33:32
  Michelle Moore: It means so much to me to sit next to that and when he starts praying I just like I don't even know the words to describe it, to be quite honest.
• 33:42
  Michelle Moore: I just I mean I'm in love with the man next to me and for him to just pour his heart out to the Lord I know that God is so important to him and he chooses to please God and to try to obey what he has for us it just it melts my heart.
• 34:01
  Michelle Moore: I just absolutely love it.
• 34:03
  Daniel Moore: Well, I wanted to ask you that question because for 12 years I was on the praise team and so I never really got to sit next to you until the preaching started.
• 34:14
  Daniel Moore: And sometimes that didn't happen, because if we ended up not having preaching in that service and we had just praise and worship, I'd be on stage the whole time.
• 34:22
  Daniel Moore: And this was every church service for 12 years that we were there.
• 34:27
  Daniel Moore: And then I, like you said, the only place that we really served together was just Wednesday night, life group.
• 34:34
  Daniel Moore: That's the only thing really that we did together, and I know for the longest time.
• 34:39
  Daniel Moore: Uh, you respected my serving.
• 34:43
  Daniel Moore: You know that was my ministry and you knew that, uh, god had me on that drum set for those 12 years, and so you never really complained about it.
• 34:52
  Daniel Moore: But I knew that there was a longing inside of you.
• 34:54
  Daniel Moore: There was lots of times that you would voice that how you wished I was able to sit with you.
• 34:59
  Michelle Moore: I felt like so many times that, you know, and I finally got to in my head that hey, he's doing what God has called him to do.
• 35:08
  Michelle Moore: But I was like you're missing out so much, you know, but not really because he was doing where he was supposed to be, and he got fulfilled because of that God's ministry for him.
• 35:22
  Daniel Moore: When we do what God's called us to do, then you will be fulfilled in life.
• 35:27
  Michelle Moore: And so it took me a little bit to get used to that, but I will tell you, when we were attending this new church, I was like he would be right next to me and it took me a while to get used to it and I'm like yeah, she almost told me to get back on the drum set.
• 35:44
  Michelle Moore: I was like I'm not used to this.
• 35:47
  Daniel Moore: She's like this is just weird, you need to go play drums.
• 35:50
  Michelle Moore: It took me a while, but now I'm like I absolutely love it.
• 35:55
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I don't know if other marriage couples feel that way about their spouse seeing them humble themselves before the Lord, but it's such a love that I have for him that it's just like, hey, my husband is serving the Lord and I know that he's going before him and, whatever it may be, he has our marriage at the best interest of what God has before us.
• 36:24
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, be in church, that's so important Be in church, be in the Word, have your relationship with God at home, wherever you're at.
• 36:32
  Michelle Moore: Make sure you do it together, and he secretly loves how we serve now.
• 36:36
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 36:37
  Michelle Moore: He talks to people more than I do.
• 36:39
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 36:40
  Daniel Moore: I don't know how that happens, that's for sure.
• 36:44
  Daniel Moore: Go ahead and share the final fruit here.
• 36:49
  Michelle Moore: This is number eight, and this is humility, gentleness and patience.
• 36:54
  Michelle Moore: Bear with each other and forgive one another.
• 36:57
  Michelle Moore: If any of you have a grievance against someone, forgive, as the Lord forgave you, and all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
• 37:08
  Michelle Moore: Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace, and be thankful.
• 37:15
  Michelle Moore: Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs of the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
• 37:29
  Michelle Moore: And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through him, and that's found in Ephesians 4, 2 and 3.
• 37:42
  Michelle Moore: Forgiving your spouse for hurtful words or actions can be difficult.
• 37:46
  Michelle Moore: You may be justified in your anger and want to hang on to the resentment to teach them a lesson.
• 37:53
  Michelle Moore: This can be detrimental.
• 37:55
  Michelle Moore: When we choose to forgive quickly, humble ourselves to apologize, speak gentle words and exude patience in tribulation.
• 38:03
  Michelle Moore: This will only strengthen your marriage.
• 38:05
  Michelle Moore: Living this way makes your marriage rock solid.
• 38:08
  Michelle Moore: It leaves no room for bitter grudges and meaningless bickering.
• 38:13
  Michelle Moore: Use your energy together to show love, gratitude and forgiveness.
• 38:19
  Michelle Moore: I mean, that's just point blank.
• 38:22
  Michelle Moore: There's just not, and I like that.
• 38:27
  Daniel Moore: The fruits of the Spirit are so important.
• 38:28
  Daniel Moore: So, important when it comes to not only our relationships in everyday life with other people, but, for sure, in the relationship with our spouse, and I'm so thankful that God has brought us to the point now that we can be humble with each other.
• 38:42
  Daniel Moore: I can be gentle with you, you can be gentle with me.
• 38:44
  Daniel Moore: We can both have patience for each other.
• 38:46
  Daniel Moore: There's times that it does.
• 38:47
  Daniel Moore: We do have times when our patience has worked a little over time probably, but in the end we both love each other and everything comes out the way that it should, and I think that you know some of the things here that you mentioned is probably the key to this whole thing is you have to be reactive quickly to whatever may come your way.
• 39:11
  Daniel Moore: Don't wait, don't sleep on it, don't give it, you know, a week or a month or six months to fester.
• 39:18
  Daniel Moore: What this basically is saying here in Ephesians is forgive, you know quickly, humble yourselves and be willing to apologize, speak gentle words and exude patience and tribulation.
• 39:31
  Daniel Moore: When you do that, then you're going to see a huge strengthening in your marriage that you never even thought was possible.
• 39:38
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 39:38
  Daniel Moore: And so it's just so important to make sure that we stay on top of that.
• 39:42
  Daniel Moore: You know, God forgives us in an instant if we just ask him.
• 39:46
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 39:46
  Daniel Moore: You know, if we truly are resentful in our nature and we ask God.
• 39:51
  Daniel Moore: You know I did this wrong and I'm truly sorry for this.
• 39:54
  Daniel Moore: Would you please forgive me for that.
• 39:55
  Daniel Moore: It's an instantaneous forgiveness from him, and that's the way that we should be with each other as spouses.
• 40:01
  Daniel Moore: Is there anything you want to add to any of this?
• 40:05
  Michelle Moore: So good, so good.
• 40:07
  Daniel Moore: Well, I just thought I'd have a kind of a little fun filler here for this week, as we talked here about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage.
• 40:16
  Daniel Moore: So you have marriages around you and you're around them a lot and you see some of these attributes in their marriages and see how they handle things, well, you're going to know that God's probably in there doing a work on them and that they have a good relationship between each other because God's in the center of that relationship.
• 40:36
  Daniel Moore: So that's going to do it for this week's episode.
• 40:39
  Daniel Moore: Then, as we leave, just don't forget that marriage is hard work, that we don't have to go it alone.
• 40:47
  Daniel Moore: Marriage is a gift from the Lord, no matter how challenging it becomes.
• 40:49
  Daniel Moore: We have the power in Jesus to overcome anything.
• 40:52
  Daniel Moore: When we strive to live in a godly and fruitful marriage, we may be faced with new challenges as we change ourselves, our reactions and our words, but God can work through all of that.
• 41:04
  Daniel Moore: So this week let's commit to asking the Lord to show us where we need to change things.
• 41:10
  Daniel Moore: Do that for yourselves.
• 41:12
  Daniel Moore: Where we need to change things, do that for yourselves.
• 41:14
  Daniel Moore: Where we need to change things about ourselves to make our marriage better, not asking the Lord to change your spouse, but asking God to change you that's what's important in this whole relationship of being married is we have to take care of ourselves first and make sure that we're where we need to be.
• 41:31
  Daniel Moore: We take responsibility for the things that we need to apologize for, the ones that need to give forgiveness, for the ones that need to.
• 41:38
  Daniel Moore: That's what God's most.
• 41:40
  Daniel Moore: You know, he's most worried about that part about us.
• 41:44
  Daniel Moore: That's where he's working on us the most is to make sure that we change, if we change and everything changes, and so hopefully you guys got something from that.
• 41:55
  Daniel Moore: Well, we're going to call it a wrap for this week and we hope that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
• 42:03
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of the Connecting the Gap Ministries and we pray that you have a blessed week.