Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 145: Vanderpump Rules - May The Best Woman Win (S11 E11)

Transcript

145: Vanderpump Rules - May The Best Woman Win (S11 E11) · Reality TV Cringe

0:09
Hello, and welcome to the Reality TV Cringe Podcast. I am one of
0:14
your hosts, Delia, here with my real tight homegirl and my daughter in
0:19
law, bitch. What's up posts. We are happy to be here today
0:24
to talk vander Pump rules. Yes, bitch. Yeah, another interesting episode.
0:32
Lots of little tidbits in there, with a whole lot of Joe.
0:35
Yeah, a lot of Joseph and I'm gonna have some things to say about
0:39
that. But before we get into it, we have to remind you to
0:41
please hide your wife and hydr kids. This is a politically incorrect podcast.
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We say bad words, we have controversial opinions, which just means we have
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dumb opinions. Yeah. So, if you're thoughts able and if you need
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1:53
All Right, Before we get into this episode, which is I think
1:56
the eleventh episode of season eleven, I forget the title. Yeah, who
2:01
cares? Yeah, nobody cares. Do you have any sort of ideas,
2:05
takeaways, themes that you want to touch upon? Yeah. I think Schwartz
2:07
is a piece of shit. I think he's a big pile of human shit.
2:13
I think I just think he's like a snake. I get where you're
2:15
meeting when you've been mentioning throughout our recaps that he's just got this aw shucks
2:21
like he plays it off like he's such a nice guy. He means well,
2:24
But no, I think he's conniving. I think he's a piece of
2:27
shit. I don't like him. Yeah, he's got that toxic masculinity.
2:30
I would much prefer if he was very direct and straightforward. Yeah, with
2:36
his douchebaggery. Yeah, and his misogyny, but he tries to hide it
2:39
behind this simpering I'm just a good guy affect. Yeah, but no,
2:44
you keep doing this over and over again and primarily to women. Yeah,
2:49
so you're not a good guy. No. And your hair looks stupid,
2:53
dude. The bleach blonde hair is so fucking cringe to me. How do
2:59
you let somebody walk out of your salon looking like that? It looked like
3:01
there were other stylists in the room that were like, how's your head doing?
3:06
Is it burning? How do you like this? Because it looks terrible.
3:08
It looks really bad. Yeah, And I'm like, you're forty two,
3:12
dude, I guess forty one or something. Yeah, that's cringe.
3:15
Yeah. So he's probably in the throes of a full on midlife crisis.
3:19
Good. And then my takeaway would have to be just my ruminations about Joe
3:25
because I'm trying to peg her, Like what's going on with her? Do
3:29
you know what I mean? Like? Are you full on in love?
3:31
With Tom Schwartz. Just because I can't conceive of a world where anybody would
3:37
be doesn't mean that she's not. But at the same time, he seems
3:40
to be saying some of the right things, like I don't want a relationship,
3:45
or I'm single and she's single and we're dating other people. And so
3:49
I'm trying to figure out why it's such a blind side or a surprise to
3:53
her that he's doing this, because she seems like she's in love with him,
3:57
and I feel like behind the scenes, he's encouraging her. Yep,
4:01
he's leading her on. That's what I think. I think he says the
4:04
right things on camera to make him look like he's an honest, good guy
4:09
or whatever, But no, I think behind closed doors, when he calls
4:12
Joe up for a pityfuck because nobody else wants to fuck him because he's a
4:15
forty two year old bleach blonde loser who just goes home at night with a
4:18
breaking dick. Yeah it cannot be too big, yes, And so like
4:23
Joe's like, sure, we'll go over there, and then he tells her
4:25
he loves her after he nuts, and it's just like grin, it's ringe
4:30
af and I feel really sorry for her because, like in that scene when
4:34
they're trying to have a conversation about the state of their relationship, as quirky
4:40
and maybe odd as she is, I feel like her tears are real.
4:44
Yep. And I think after the Singles Night she was really really surprised by
4:49
his behavior. Now, I did actually listen to a podcast with Joe and
4:56
Raquel or Rachel. It was on Rachel's podcast, So when we get to
4:59
that section, I'll kind of share what Joe had to say about that Singles
5:02
Night because it didn't happen the way it was shown on Telavilsion gasp. Yes,
5:09
editing and production fuckery was afoot, So we'll get into all of that.
5:13
But yeah, I just feel bad for Joe me too. She seems
5:15
kind of sweet. Yeah, like when she's sitting there in her little meditative
5:19
pose and her interstitials in an outfit that like like when you compare and contrast
5:26
her outfit with everybody else's styling and makeup, I mean, she's obviously different.
5:31
One of these things is not like the other. Yeah, and I
5:34
just always root for an underdog. I feel bad for her. I know
5:38
she's not meant for La that's for fucking sure, she's meant for, like
5:41
shepper Colorado, it seems yeah, Colorado, but she kind of seems to
5:44
fit in with like surfer culture. Yeah to me, that kind of California
5:47
culture. But this group of fake ass people, yeah, she does not
5:51
fit in. But that also doesn't mean that she's blameless, because I do
5:55
believe she went with Sandoval and Raquel and arts to Big Bear and so she
6:02
knew. I mean, how dumb do you have to be not to put
6:05
two and two together together to figure out that something was going on. So
6:10
like, she's not blameless. Yeah, but she's a human, and I
6:13
feel bad. I agree. I think the world is making fun of her
6:15
and she can't necessarily help how she is, right exactly, especially when she's
6:20
contrasted with these fake ass people. Right, yeah, I agree. So
6:25
do you want to get into the episode. Let's get into it, Annie,
6:27
All right? Well, the episode starts with the conclusion from the Beach
6:30
Day, Yes, last episode. So Arianna is still pissed off. I
6:34
feel like she's rightfully defensive because everybody's coming out coming on to her, like
6:42
come on, just get over it. Like Sandel's a good guy, like
6:45
Brock right, and can you castraight in him? Oh my god, you
6:48
emasculated And her point is like, well, but he deserves it. And
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Brock is trying to tell her kind of what I said last week, and
6:58
that is well, like you're also taking jobs, and she made a good
7:00
point and put me in my place, and she's like, yeah, but
7:03
I didn't do anything to him. Yeah, he's the one who did all
7:06
of this, and so I have every single right to be upset and to
7:12
say things, yeah, because he's the one who fucked me over, and
7:14
you guys should getting should be getting him in check, which I respected,
7:17
and I guess Laala tried to enter the chat again and talk to her like
7:23
about but when are we going to be able to get to a place,
7:27
and she just shuts Lala down. Yeah she does, which I did respect,
7:30
and I thought she was like coming off very justified, just being like,
7:35
yeah, what did I do? But I wanted to ask you because
7:38
we've kind of talked about like Arianna and her temper and like maybe she wasn't
7:43
treating sand of all right, Like do you think she's justified in saying like
7:46
I never did anything to him? Okay, Well, let me come at
7:48
that question as the elder in the room, Okay, as somebody in my
7:54
fifties who's been married a million times. Right, anytime a relationship, a
7:58
long term relationship fall apart, it's not just one person's fault. Facts.
8:03
I'm sure that Arianna did her fair share of shit in that relationship to degrade
8:09
the integrity of it, but that all pales in comparison when somebody goes out
8:15
and cheats. Yeah, so it kind of is unfortunate for Tom because he
8:20
may have some valid points about the state of their relationship, and maybe she
8:22
could have done more and done things differently, but that all pales in comparison
8:28
to the absolute betrayal of fucking her best friend. So it doesn't really matter.
8:33
And so she's making that point, She's like, yeah, well,
8:35
he's the one who did everything wrong, and obviously she did stuff that was
8:39
wrong too in the relationship. But as she's saying it, I'm agreeing with
8:43
her. Yeah, he's the one who fucked all of this up, so
8:46
he should sit there and take it better. Yet, don't come to the
8:50
beach and force my hand into an argument, which is what it feels like.
8:54
They all want to happen to see Ariana go the fuck off or break
8:58
down, Oh totally. And it's like, if you are gonna go to
9:01
these functions with Ariana, Tom, then just stop talking shit, like just
9:05
try to be the bigger person or just like don't even interact with her,
9:09
don't fucking talk to her. But like he's always just kind of trying to
9:11
push her buttons and try to push the situation. And so after this big
9:16
old blow up at the beach, then he leaves with Tom Schwartz and he's
9:18
like, leave, I'm go to give her some space because she's heated right
9:22
now and I just want to make sure she's okay. And I'm like,
9:24
you know, you don't, you don't actually can care at all? Yeah
9:28
about that. And the thing is is that even if Arianna started it,
9:33
which I think she did at the beach, Yeah, when she made a
9:35
comment about co parenting the animals and blah blah blah, like she started,
9:39
she took a couple of jobs, he should still shit sit there and shut
9:43
the fuck up, right, And if she's got some jobs and she's got
9:46
some anger, just take it. That's the least that you can do,
9:50
as you're forcing yourself into this friend group where she has to sit there and
9:54
be around you. Yeah, like just take it, roll with it,
9:58
hopefully it dies down after a period of time. But he can't do that
10:01
because he's a narcissist and it's all about him and how he appears to other
10:05
people, and he wants to be the victim. So he's happy when she
10:09
flips out. Oh. When he's standing away from the tent at the beach,
10:13
he's asking Schwartz, oh, is Ariana emotional? She having a breakdown?
10:16
He wants that, yeah, because he knows that separating the group.
10:20
Yes, And he thrives off of that negative interaction, even though he has
10:26
a narc like he wants anything he can get from people. And so then
10:28
when he goes to the little beach bar or whatever with Schwartz, what did
10:33
you think about their conversation because Sandval immediately kind of starts talking shit about Ariana
10:37
again and just talking about like the house and how she's fighting over the furniture,
10:41
and he's like, well, I fucking buy everything else, Like I
10:43
buy all the groceries and the batteries and stuff. She's in for a rude
10:48
awakening when she lives on her own Like, what'd you think about that?
10:50
I just find that to be campaigning for the cameras and campaigning for the affection
10:56
of the friend group. But I mean, Tom already, Tom Schwartz already
11:01
knows all this. The only reason you're saying it to him again and reiterating
11:05
it is because there's a camera pointed at you, and you're on a campaign
11:09
to smear Ariana and get people to like you more. This is your redemption
11:13
arc. So I honestly don't even remember what he said, because he said
11:16
this kind of shit over and over again, and it's like, wah wah,
11:20
wah, wah wah, you're saying words, I'm hearing nothing. Yeah.
11:24
Well, and even the producer has called him out in his talking head
11:26
because he's bitching about this, and they're like, dude, you got dreamed
11:28
over the internet over this exact thing. Why are you saying it again?
11:31
He's like, well, I just think arian is in for a rude awakening.
11:35
So was their talk like last season about this? Did he say this
11:39
after season all that? I mean, I guess maybe he did. But
11:43
as we know, Arianna recently purchased her own home in her own fucking name,
11:48
for like one point six million dollars. This is maybe the tree house
11:52
home that she wants and nobody can ever take it away from her. And
11:56
also she just announced a new campaign with DSW Warehouse. Oh so she's I
12:03
don't know if she's a brand ambassador, but like she's the face of DSW.
12:05
So she stays in her money and in her coins so that she can
12:09
afford this. And I don't think she's gonna be worried about batteries and pens.
12:16
I think she'll be just fine things. She'll have Anne buy it for
12:18
her. Yeah, when she's her new assistance. Yes, God, what
12:22
a dick. He's just proving her right to just like talking mad shit constantly,
12:26
to try and turn everybody away from her. It's just fucked up.
12:30
And then we have like kind of a segue into Tory, who's this new
12:35
girl. So like Sheena's in her talking kad talking about how she set up
12:39
tom Short Schwartz with this chippy named Tory. But then once she sets Schwartz
12:45
up with Tory, Katie somehow hears about it, and then she's like,
12:48
cool, I want a date or two. So this is the sege and
12:52
to this weird love triangle between Schwartz and Katie and Tory right under his nose
12:58
at the bar, Katie steals her away and basically just says, go talk
13:01
to those people over there, like I'm over here, I've got the big
13:05
dick energy. I'm gonna hang out with Toy. And he does I know.
13:09
He SLINKs away to another table and it's Katie and Toy. I was
13:13
just kind of side eyeing Tory a little bit. I mean, she's twenty
13:16
four years old, she's awfully young, she's very bubbly. Yeah, also
13:22
known as annoying. Ye. If Katie likes it, I love it.
13:26
I mean I thought it was pretty choice that Katie just immediately kisses her at
13:30
the bar, Like when Tory just asked Schwartz for a date and he's like,
13:33
yeah, sure, that's cool that this twenty four year old thinks I'm
13:37
hot. And then immediately after Katie starts making out with her, I'm like
13:41
yes, and you can't Oh that was so good. And you can tell
13:45
Schwartz is like affected by it because he's like, she's colock blocking me,
13:48
and I feel like she's competing with me, Like why would she need to
13:50
compete with you? Does not need to. And what does Katie say in
13:52
her intercessial She's like, try hard, try hard to be better, like
13:56
do more than I love it? And she's that's right, I love it.
14:01
And that was great? That was that sexy? Like that was that
14:03
kiss kind of sexy? Because I felt absolutely nothing personally like, but I
14:09
was just like, does Katie mean this or is she just doing this to
14:11
be petty? Either of those scenarios is okay with me? Yeah? But
14:16
like I didn't find it sexy. No, I didn't really either. I
14:20
didn't find like chemistry or like a spark. I think Tory was way more
14:24
into it than Katie was, but Katie's like, I like that, let
14:26
me kiss you again. I think Katie's low key but high key doing this
14:31
just to be petty. Like I don't think she's like genuinely interested in dating
14:35
Tory. Did it surprise you when Katie said that she had slept with a
14:37
girl before and or girls before? Yeah? I was like, dang,
14:41
okay, Katie, this fluid baby. I love it. I mean,
14:46
and you're divorced and you're single, ready to mingle, I mean it out
14:50
and get you some. I think she made a comment to being like,
14:52
I've always been attracted to women, but I was stuck with Schwartz for so
14:56
long and so we didn't get to do that. And so now I'm exploring
15:00
that and I'm like, you know what, you go, Queen, I
15:03
date whoever you want looking better than you ever have in your life. Queen
15:09
dime, She's beautiful, Mattie, your daughter, beautiful. My wife has
15:13
a crush on her. I'm like, how dare you? Oh, you
15:16
have a crush on Ariana right? You like the blonde? Yeah, she
15:20
likes the brunettes. So it's pretty cute, which is pretty funny, yeaheah.
15:24
So that was interesting, the whole love triangle thing. And then we
15:26
have Laala and Joe getting hot dogs together, which was kind of weird.
15:33
Yeah, apparently Tom Schwartz told Joe to reach out to Lala and to maybe
15:39
have a conversation, maybe sharing with Lalla what her intentions are. I mean,
15:46
what Joe says in her interstitial is basically like Laala is the gatekeeper into
15:50
the friend group, So if I can get her on my side, then
15:52
like I can maybe be accepted by all of these people. I think Lalla
15:56
is definitely showing up to dance the plot lines and the storylines and try to
16:03
create a good season, because she's been talking in various podcasts about how somebody
16:08
needed to do that, Like Ariana, she says, brings nothing to the
16:11
table. Wow, she's never really had any storylines in previous seasons. Like,
16:17
somebody's got to shake something up. So that's why I think she's doing
16:22
this, and I think somebody on Ruddit also said that because Laala keeps mentioning
16:27
how she's softening, Yeah, she's trying to be a softer Lalla, that
16:32
maybe what she was hoping was that she would actually be able to talk to
16:36
Rachel and like be the person who allows Rachel back into the group. But
16:41
because Rachel didn't want to do that, she's now kind of shifting her focus
16:45
on to Joe to try and maybe demonstrate that she's soft. But see,
16:51
Lalla's not soft. Laala pops off immediately. And another thing I heard about
16:56
Laala is that she you know, obviously she is on this self development journey
17:02
and trying to be a better person. Yeah, but she does not go
17:06
to therapy. I think I told you this off the pod. I don't
17:08
know if I said it on the pod, but like she refuses to go
17:11
to therapists because she does not trust them. So the only way she's getting
17:15
better and personally developing is through her own guidance. But I'm like, you're
17:22
nuts. Yeah, you have a rage disorder. You're not the appropriate person
17:26
to guide yourself into enlightenment. You need somebody to help you, not to
17:30
mention you talk shit about fucking everybody. So it's like I was actually talking
17:34
about this with your daughter, like earlier today, we were talking about how
17:37
there's like kind of a trend on like social media nowadays where people are like
17:41
INTI healing and self hell, and like I'm working on myself and I'm doing
17:45
me shadow work, but like nobody's actually like doing it, Like they're just
17:49
saying it, and it's just kind of like the half asked version of it.
17:53
And so that's kind of what La La gives me. I'm like,
17:56
Okay, congrats you're sober. That's cool. Yeah, but that's like one
17:59
step of the way, you know, And congrats you are getting divorced from
18:03
your weird frogman of a ex husband who you claim to love, which I
18:07
don't believe. Like it's just I don't know's I think she's trying. And
18:12
if I can again give some perspective from somebody who's in her fifties, like,
18:18
in your twenties, that's your time to be crazy for sure. If
18:21
you think you know a lot, but you really don't know anything, you
18:23
don't know it's not until your thirties that you start to suspect that maybe you
18:29
don't know shit. Yeah, and you want to start getting yourself together.
18:32
And that's usually when people start to begin the journey of self improvement. And
18:36
then by the time you hit your forties, you can apply a lot of
18:38
the things that you learned in your twenties and your thirties. So when I
18:41
look at somebody like Laala, I think, Okay, she's early thirties.
18:45
She realizes that she's got problems, she's got anger issues, she wants to
18:48
be a better parent. She does not know how to go about helping herself,
18:52
but I think she has an intention to do so. So I'm hoping
18:56
by the time she ends her thirties she will be a much better person.
19:00
Hopefully for somebody like me at my big age, I can look at her
19:03
and give her some grace, But as somebody who is recapping a reality show
19:07
like she's a fucking hypocrite. I'm not seeing a whole lot of softness.
19:12
I'm just hearing a lot of talk, for sure. Yeah for Lala.
19:15
Yeah. And the only thing that was like really interesting about this whole Jojo
19:19
and Lala conversation was like Laala confronts Joe about not knowing, like claiming that
19:26
she didn't know that Sandoval was cheating on Ariana. And this is where Joe's
19:30
like claiming ignorance. She's like, well, I thought Arianna and Sandoval had
19:33
been broken up, so like I didn't ask, Okay, but how is
19:37
that true when you went to Thanksgiving dinner at Ariana and Tom's house she did.
19:42
Yeah. Remember there's the picture from a few episodes ago. So you
19:48
were there celebrating the holidays with Tom and Ariana. When was Big Bear?
19:51
I mean I think Big Bear was like summertime or fall. So that's a
19:56
bunch of bullshit. Yeah, And once again, I say, I would
19:57
have a lot more suspect for you if you just told the truth and said,
20:03
you know what, I'm so sprung over Tom Schwartz. This is something
20:07
that he wanted me to do, and so that's why I didn't say anything,
20:10
and I should have and I made a big mistake. Yeah, but
20:11
she's lying, yeah, totally because she wants to fuck Schwartz and continue fucking
20:17
Schwartz and get on as good graces. So that's the only reason why she's
20:18
talking to Lala and trying to be a part of this fucked up friend group.
20:22
It's cringe yep. And then we have Arianna and Katie going golfing with
20:27
James and Allie, which was just kind of like a nothing burger. Yeah.
20:30
The only thing interesting there was Ariana talking about forcing the sale of the
20:36
home. Yeah, and apparently her attorneys have responded to Sandoval's janky offer and
20:44
they gave Sandival a period of time to respond to that to accept or reject,
20:48
and if he doesn't, then they're going to compel the sale of the
20:52
home visa vie court. Yeah. So she's kind of breaking down how that's
20:56
going to go. And she's also talking about like the home that she is
20:59
now in vision for herself, Yeah, which I thought was really great and
21:03
I love Ali. She's like, oh my god, manifest it right now.
21:07
And James is like, well, just saying it is going to allow
21:11
you to manifest it, and I'm just realizing we didn't really talk about the
21:15
scene at the bar with Arianna and Shena and La La where Ariana actually breaks
21:22
down and cries. Oh yeah, I forgot about that because Lala's talking to
21:26
her like, is there some part of you that feels like utterly rejected by
21:30
this man that you loved for so long? And Ariana starts crying and she's
21:33
like absolutely, and I think Sina says something like, I mean, don't
21:38
you think it would be better if you could just find your own place,
21:41
get your own spots so that you don't have to continue to put up with
21:45
this, And Ariana's like, I know, you guys are right. I
21:48
know that's what I need to do, but it's so hard because this is
21:51
my dream home. Like I wanted this house so bad and the idea of
21:55
losing it is just breaking my heart. And I really felt for her in
21:59
that moment. I did too, and it kind of made me pissed off
22:02
at Lala and Sheena later in the episode when they talk shit about it at
22:06
paintball and I'm like, God, you guys like literally just had this moment
22:10
with Arianna where she's crying, and she's like genuine. Like Ariana may give
22:14
off like mean girl energy, but the way that I see that because I'm
22:18
kind of that kind of a person, like when I'm hurting or whatever,
22:19
I'm hard are super guarded. I can come off really mean. I've got
22:25
RBF, like, don't fucking fuck with me, But deep down there's somebody
22:29
hurting, there's it's a heartbreak, And so I felt really bad for Ariana
22:33
there. I forgot wed. I totally forgot to mention that when we talked
22:34
about it, but I did as well. And you can see Laala here
22:37
giving her lots of love, yeah, and lots of hugs, and it's
22:41
so it is really weird that in a later scene, which I actually think
22:45
is at the sperm bank, where they start talking about her, and Laala's
22:48
like, then just stop talking to me about your problems, yeah, because
22:51
if you're not going to move, I don't want to hear about this shit
22:52
anymore. I'm like, what happened, Wow, from the waterfront bar to
22:56
the sperm bank? Right? Allowed you to lose all of your empathy?
23:00
Or did you never have any in the first place? Exactly? Yeah?
23:03
Fake as the yes, right, and the other thing that was funny at
23:07
the golfing area was James calling out how fucking weird it is that Katie is
23:12
dating the same chick as Schwartz. He's like, are we just gonna pretend
23:15
like this is normal? Like what the fuck is going on here? First
23:18
Katie fucks James or Schwartz's best friend, and then she fucking is stealing his
23:25
girl, Like, what the fuck's going on? And Katie is just like,
23:27
oh yeah, everything I do is in contemplation of how Tom Schwartz is
23:33
going to feel about it. And then we've got this great interstitial with James
23:37
and he's like, am I the only one that actually thinks this is really
23:41
weird? Like you just ended up fucking Tom Schwartz's best friend and now you're
23:47
stealing this girl who has young twenty four year old girl. Like that's a
23:49
little strange, and so that's why we're questioning what your motivations are. But
23:56
Katie doesn't want to be questioned. She just wants to live her life.
23:59
I mean, eat a box more power. She's empowered to do it.
24:04
Oh yeah, I love it for her honestly. And then we have Lala
24:07
and sheina go into the cryobank, the sperm bank or whatever. And this
24:11
was kind of interesting because Lala's talking about like her reasoning behind getting a sperm
24:17
donor. She wants a kid that's just hers. She doesn't want to have
24:19
to deal with the custody issues. And she breaks down because she feels like
24:25
she failed Ocean like immensely by divorcing her dad. And I guess she didn't
24:30
want to divorce him. It was randiated on her. So yeah, so
24:33
she was her first to break up with him. Yeah, which but then
24:37
she says like Ocean was conceived out of love, and I think I wat
24:40
zappdy last night I was watching this all high and I'm like, you sent
24:42
me a picture of Laala and Randall, and she's like, how can this
24:45
beautiful woman have fallen in love with this gargoyle? You don't get it.
24:49
There's no theory under which this could possibly happen. And the theory is money.
24:53
Yeah, very intoxicating. And she was hypnotized by his fun And also
25:00
I think she wanted to be more of a star. I think she wanted
25:03
to be cast in some of his busted ass, whack ass movies that he
25:07
was doing with John Travolta or whatever, that she was chasing fame and money.
25:11
Yeah, and again, if she would just say that and talk about
25:15
her actual motivations, I would respect it more. But I mean when she
25:18
broke down and cried, yeah, I believed that she loved him. And
25:25
I also think she's crying for her child, who's now going to have this
25:27
fucked up split home problem, acrimonious relationship between her parents, and that's terrible.
25:34
Yeah, but I love that she's taken the reins of her own life
25:40
and she wants to have a child. And by the way, I saw
25:42
on social media that she had a gender reveal and she's having a guess boy
25:48
girl? Oh my god, another girl? Yea, yeah, she's having
25:51
another girl. I think it's really sweet. And I do think she wants
25:56
to be a good mom. Yeah. I think that she is a good
25:57
mom. Although I was listening to a clip of her on her own podcast
26:03
where she was talking about Ocean and Ocean her daughter was looking at a picture
26:07
of Lala's father, and Lala was telling Ocean, oh, that's grandma's husband
26:14
and that's my daddy, and Ocean said something like, well, you don't
26:18
have a husband. Ooh, and Lala was laughing. But on her pod
26:22
she's like, and so I wanted to bitch slap her, which is it's
26:26
of course it's a joke. But then she's like, but how smart is
26:30
she at three years old that she knows that. I'm just like, Lala,
26:33
be careful. Yeah, how you speak about people that you care about
26:38
and that you love, and especially your child. All of this is recorded
26:41
for posterity. Your daughter at some point may go back through the records,
26:45
honey, and here you say something like that, And even if you're joking,
26:48
I thought that was fucked up. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm a
26:52
prude, but I just that's not something I would say. No, I
26:56
agree with that, Like I've thought about that, even like with Instagram parents
27:00
that have their fucking kids plastered all over social media. I'm just like you
27:03
guys, you don't realize that the internet's forever, and like people are keeping
27:07
digital records of all of this shit. So many of these parents are going
27:11
to get sued by their children, and I cannot wait. I think that's
27:14
coming within the next five to ten years. On the outside, you're gonna
27:18
have so many children because they're not getting any money for it. Oh yeah,
27:22
there's no protections for kids, like there are protections for children in film,
27:26
I think on television, but not for like reality kids and not for
27:30
YouTube kids. It's absolutely terrible. That's slame that she said that about her
27:33
kid. I get it's a joke, but it's like she's edgy yu critch.
27:38
And then this is also at the sperm Bank. This is where you
27:41
were saying Lala and Sina kind of talks about Ariana, which I'm just like,
27:45
guys, a, this is gonna be a point of contention of the
27:48
reunion for sure. Ariana, I hope goes off on Lala for being a
27:52
fake ass bitch and like whether you're doing this for the cameras and it's like
27:57
not actually genuine or not. I don't care, Like to say, all
28:00
this kind of crap behind Ariana's back is really fucking messed up, Like especially
28:04
when you guys are consoling her earlier then just so know how deeply she's hurt
28:10
it. Yes, I did hear. I think Laala on another podcast say
28:14
that nobody really raised their voice at the reunion, but there were some very
28:18
intense things that happened and something happens in the reunion that has never happened before.
28:23
I definitely think there's going to be a confrontation between Ariana and Laala and
28:27
potentially Sena. I do know that Laala has since unfollowed Ariana and Katie Maloney
28:34
on Instagram, and I questioned about it on Amazon Live. She's like,
28:40
yeah, I'm just kind of OCD about numbers and I had an odd number
28:45
and I wanted it to be even, and so I thought about the two
28:47
people that I really wasn't interested in, and so I just unfollowed them.
28:51
Okay, okay, why don't you own your fucking shit if you want to
28:56
unfollow them because you had a fight and you're no longer close. Say ye,
29:00
why are you hiding behind O C D in numbers? So dumb?
29:03
Name, so fake? Yeah? God, I can't. Then we have
29:07
Schwartz getting his hair bleached by Joe, and this was so cringe because I'm
29:12
like, I know Joe's probably trying to plug her business and is the worst
29:17
way to do it because his hair looked terrible. It looked horrible, It
29:21
looked absolutely terrible. And there's like this weird vibe between Joe and Schwartz because
29:26
then he tells her, yeah, Zandeville's hosting a singles night, and she's
29:30
like, what, I want to come. He's like, Okay, you
29:33
can come. He also tells her about the girl he's dating, but Katie's
29:36
also dating her too, and so Joe thinks that's weird. But you know,
29:40
deep down, Joe's just like, why are you dating someone else?
29:42
I really want to know what the conversations are behind the scenes, because I
29:48
heard Joe speak about this, and Joe is trying to say that she and
29:55
Tom were together and had an agreement that they were together, like on the
30:00
way to this singles party, like they were talking about whether they were going
30:03
to wear the green bracelet or whether they're going to say that they were single,
30:07
or whether they were going to wear the yellow or the red bracelet,
30:10
which is that I'm taken or it's complicated, and they both agreed. This
30:12
is what Jo said. They both agreed that they were going to wear the
30:17
red bracelet saying that they're taken. And then Tom gets there, puts on
30:21
the green bracelet and then starts making out with that fucking clout goblin Weirdo took
30:26
his cap so that's interesting to say that, though, because when Tom Schwartz
30:32
is in her salon, she's calling him bro, and she's like, what
30:36
about your date? Howd it go? So in front of the camera,
30:40
she's seeming to understand that they're not together, that he's dating around, that
30:42
he's single. It's like, which one is it? Were you together behind
30:45
the scenes or are you conflating it, making it something that it never was.
30:49
I'm kanfuzzled. Yeah, I am too. There's some weird shit going
30:53
on. I think he's like ashamed to be associated with her. I think
30:56
he's ashamed to admit he would even be in a relationship with her because he'd
31:02
feel judged. Like maybe it's like because of her appearance or how she looks.
31:04
I don't fucking know. I think he's a shallow fucking person. I'm
31:07
not saying like Joe's ugly or anything like that. I just think that Schwartz
31:12
is a shallow piece of shit. And he's worried about his image and worried
31:15
about who he's associated with. So of course he's like, yeah, I'm
31:18
single, I'm not in a relationship at all. But then when you call
31:22
Joe up for a pityfuck. You're telling her you love her and you want
31:26
to be in a relationship with her, and you guys got this good connection.
31:27
And then there's those scenes from the flashback of like last episode or whatever
31:32
of him being like, yeah, in a different timeline, we could be
31:34
together, and he's saying that on camera like he's fucked up, Like I
31:37
think he's manipulating her and leading her on, and I hate it. But
31:42
I mean, at the same time, ladies, if a man wants you,
31:47
there's not gonna be any question about it because he's going to do what
31:52
he needs to do to have you, Yeah, and he's gonna do what
31:53
he needs to do to keep you. And if he's being wishy wash,
31:56
I'll dump his ass. He's not or he doesn't really want it, or
32:00
he just wants to hit it and quit it. And so, Joe,
32:04
you're in your thirties time, this is something that you should know. He
32:07
is not making a commitment. The ship that he's saying to you behind the
32:10
scenes, it's not the ship that he's sang to you in front of his
32:14
friends yep and on camera yep. So she should be able to realize that
32:21
this is fake. Yeah, that he doesn't mean that he's not He does
32:23
not have a good intention for her. Yeah, she should dump him,
32:27
she should, but she wants him. I know. She says that Tom
32:30
Schwartz is her favorite person. I don't get it. It's weird. I
32:35
don't understand. He's a non person. He's literally an NPC. I know,
32:37
he's like somebody in the background that makes no impact. He's on the
32:42
vibe in a room. Yeah, vibe check, Yeah, no vibes no
32:45
check, not at all, not at all. And then we have Lala,
32:50
Sheena, Arian and Katie getting drinks. Yeah. And this is where
32:53
Laala like breaks it to the group. You know, oh yeah, I
32:57
had hot dogs with Joe and Kate. Immediately like unleashes. She's like,
33:01
Matt, why did I are you getting drinks with Joe? She's a lying
33:05
piece of shit, and like Lala on her interstitials is saying like, I
33:08
don't think Joe's that bad. I think she's like harmless, Like she's just
33:13
kind of a weirdo, Like whatever, it's not that big of a deal.
33:15
But Katie does not like no, She basically says, I'm your friend.
33:22
This chick is a non motherfucking factor. This person is no buddy.
33:27
Also, this person is banging my ex husband. So what compels you to
33:31
go out and have a hot dog with this girl when you ought to be
33:35
my friend? And this really seems to surprise Laala. She's like, what's
33:38
the problem. Yeah, like, I she heard from Tom Schwartz and so
33:43
she reached out to me and we just had a hot dog. It's not
33:45
a big deal. It's not like I took her to meet my kid or
33:49
anything. And Katie's like, I don't care. I value loyalty and I
33:53
value consistency, And I think Lala's I don't know exactly what Laala says.
33:58
It's something like, it's not a to me to make you happy about what
34:00
I'm doing in my life. Yeah, Like, if that's what you guys
34:04
want to do is be all pissed off at Rachel and pissed off at Joe,
34:07
If you guys are still here all these months later, then that shit's
34:10
on you. If ye're on me, I can do what the fuck I
34:13
want. Yeah, I don't really understand like the Katie Joe hate, Like
34:16
I mean, I understand her not liking her, Like I get it.
34:20
You know, she's best friends with your ex husband. She like moved in
34:22
with Schwartz essentially him and fucked him like right after you guys to work.
34:25
I get it. After pretending to be Katie's friend, I mean, not
34:29
a close friend. She was Kristen's best friend. Okay, so like Katie
34:32
knew about her. She was on the periphery of Katie's life, but she
34:35
pretended to like Katie. And then when the breakup happened, she texted Katie
34:38
and said like, I just want you to know I care so much about
34:42
you, like I'm really sorry this is all happening, but I'm here for
34:45
you, and then immediately proceeded to start fucking Tom Schwartz. Oh so that's
34:50
why Katie's salty about it. I'd be salty too. I guess I get
34:53
that, But I guess it's not like on the same level as like Rachel
34:57
re killing, you know, like where she was best friends everybody and so
35:00
like, I understand them ousting her out of the group and stuff, but
35:02
I'm like Joe, like who cares? But I guess I guess that makes
35:07
sense why she'd be salty about it. But I'm like Katie, I don't
35:08
think she cares about Joe. I think she cares about Lalla oh Oka,
35:13
and why Lala is doing this. This is not the first time Laala has
35:15
done this, because Laala called Rachel and then she told the group, and
35:20
Ariane's like, why are you doing that? Like Laala is moving weird out
35:23
here in the streets, and so Katie's like, why are we continuing to
35:28
have this fucking conversation with you, Laala? Are you a girl's girl or
35:30
are you just trying to fucking create scenes or you a guy's girl? Who
35:34
are you? She's fake? And Al's like, I'm just soft, Katie,
35:37
even my softer era. Okay, okay, it doesn't seem so soft.
35:42
Yeah, it seems like you're playing nice field and it's in my back.
35:45
Yeah, that makes sense now that you put some context to it.
35:47
Yeah. Then we're at singles night with the guys. Sineville and Schwartz go
35:52
there, and then Joe's there, oh God, with Schwartz and it's really
35:55
awkward. Now can you tell me about the whole conversation about the I'm like,
36:00
that's weird. I don't know this whole vibe. I could not take
36:05
how much Joe was just peeing all over Schwartz to claim him, like constantly
36:10
touching him, constantly doing his hair, and I think even Kyle's just like
36:15
Joe, if you keep doing that, he's not going to be able to
36:17
meet anybody. And she's like, oh, I'm just like trying to help
36:21
him out here, make his hair look good. But I'm like stop stage
36:25
five clinger. And even Sandoval's like it's fucking weird, like their whole vibe
36:30
is weird, and he calls it out and his interestitial He's like, I
36:32
think they're on two different pages. He's like, I don't know, Schwartz
36:36
got some kind of superpower with women where he can like make them fall in
36:40
love with them, but he's not really interested in them. And I'm like,
36:43
you know what it is. Yeah, he's being a fuck boy,
36:45
like he's leading her on and he's just doing it so he has somebody to
36:50
make him feel good about himself because he's a loser Schwartz. I mean,
36:54
like, so if Sandoval's calling it out, their weird friend, Kyle's calling
36:58
it out, everybody else, all the Raccoons are calling it out, like
37:00
come on, Schwartz, like what are you doing? And come on,
37:02
Joe? Yeah, why do you need to do this? Why are you
37:06
chasing somebody so hard? Have some self respect? I want to come for
37:09
you. It's super cringey, and oh I was just gonna say yeah,
37:14
and then he makes out what that chippy we got to get to this girl
37:16
named Gabby? I know, I mean, talk about a clout goblin just
37:22
saw the cameras there, showed up and immediately like zeroed in on Schwartz,
37:29
asked for a fucking kiss. It was disgusting, it was gross, took
37:34
his hat, never gave it back. And also in Joe's interview with Rachel,
37:39
she said that that hat was given to him by his father, who
37:44
I believe is passed on and Joe knew that. And so when she comes
37:47
back while they're like talking, she's just like, she's got your hat on,
37:52
and Schwartz says, it's okay, I have plenty of others in storage.
37:57
Joe says on the pod, She's like, I knew that wasn't true.
37:59
I knew that that was a hat that his dad had given him,
38:01
and so I was trying to help him out, but like, okay,
38:04
if you're gonna give it to this girl, And then I was on social
38:07
media God. And that girl Gabby showed up somehow in my algorithm, and
38:13
she had a story, and she was in her closet showing all of the
38:17
hats that she's stolen from guys around LA and there was Schwartz's hat that his
38:22
deceased father gave to him. The fuck why is Schwartz such a bitch baby
38:28
that he couldn't have said wedde like why sauce? And I think, like
38:31
a strong sexual woman really intimidates him. He's one of those guys, I
38:37
mean, does not know what to do. Like I guess I get it
38:39
in a sexual sense. If you want to be dominated by some hot woman,
38:43
fine, but like girl a parent, be like, that's my dead
38:45
father's hat, thank you? Like no, yeah, don't fucking touch my
38:49
hat. We're such a weirdo trying to be on camera. I think it's
38:52
all a status thing. You've never been kissed like me before, Like you
38:57
could have HPV the human pampolone of Palmadora sauce virus. Don't fucking put your
39:05
saliva in my fucking weirdo cringe A. And Joe is seeing this. Joe's
39:13
seeing Tom Schwartz make out with this Rando and she's like she comes up and
39:17
she's like, okay, well I'm bouncing. I gotta go, And then
39:20
she walks away and she's like el yeah, super gross. And this is
39:22
where we get the interstitials of Schwartz and Joe, Like Schwartz is like,
39:27
yeah, I think Joe's like way too into me and maybe we can't be
39:30
as close as we are and still dating other people, so like maybe I
39:34
gotta talk to her, I guess, And then Joe in her talking head,
39:37
she's like, I know the truth. We're still hooking up. We
39:40
tell you love, tell each other that we love each other, Like,
39:44
what the fuck is going on? So if these like I think I was,
39:46
what's happening you and you were talking about this, You're like, if
39:49
these are interstitials are recorded after the fact, like it's still happening. Yes,
39:53
he's such a piece of cheese speaking in present tents that they're still hooking
39:58
up and he's saying he loves her, and I think at this point like
40:01
they live together or like she crashes at his place in his spare bedroom and
40:07
she's talking like he comes home from like a night out and gets into her
40:10
bed like it's just a thing they're doing, and it's unfortunate because her heart
40:15
is involved, as we will get to I think in the next scene.
40:19
Yeah, we do pretty much because we have like the weird paintballing scene,
40:22
which is like whatever, like the girls don't paintball but the guys do.
40:25
And she know is talking about how this is like booty, She's like,
40:29
where's the VIP bathroom? Why am I here? And I'm like, because
40:31
her husband's want a paintball. But the only thing that was interesting about that
40:35
was the girls pointing out the fact that all these twenty year old chippies and
40:38
twenty year old boys are hanging out with Schwartz and Sandoval, very weird rando
40:44
people, just to fill the roster. And I think also Laala downloads Alley
40:49
on what happened with the conversation with Katie, and this is where she once
40:52
again refers to Katie's as a miserable, fucking, unhappy person, and she's
40:57
like, I know my friend is unhappy, but like, don't point that
41:00
in my direction, okay, And she's just making herself to seem so much
41:07
more put together and cons than Katie is. And I'm like, Katie is
41:10
so empowered right now in her life, Katie is going after what the fuck
41:14
she wants. Katie's got her own place. Katie is a baddie. Like
41:17
you sound jealous yep, hell fucking jealous, totally totally jealous. And then
41:23
we have James also calling out Schwartz for bleaching his hair. He's like,
41:28
you're covering up your grace. I'm like, I love James this season.
41:31
He's so funny. And then like the last scene is Schwartz go into Joe's
41:36
apartment and this is where he's like, I gotta break it up. Break
41:39
up with you. I'm not into you break up with her. She breaks
41:45
up with him. Well, so they're in the kitchen and they're having the
41:47
conversation and he's like, so, what happened with you the other night at
41:51
the singles function? And she's just like, yeah, that was a little
41:54
weird. And they start to have a clarifying conversation about their relationship, in
41:59
which he's very straightforwardly let's give him credit even though it's belated and it should
42:02
have happened months earlier. But he's like, I don't want to be in
42:07
a relationship with you. I want to date people. I want to put
42:09
my dick in other people all the time, and so this thing between me
42:14
and you is just not going to work. They sit on the couch and
42:17
at some point Joe is really emotional and she's like, do I embarrass you?
42:22
Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? And the answer is yes,
42:24
yes, And the answer is he's just that vapid and superficial and fucking
42:30
lame ye that the answer is yes, but he doesn't have the balls to
42:34
say it. Yeah, He's like, no, I like our vibe and
42:37
everything, and she's like, not Joseph, I know, my god,
42:40
stop with the names. It's so embarrassing. Tea money in Joseph, I
42:45
can't courage. Are we in middle school? Yes? Okay, that's weird,
42:50
And like the truth is maybe they probably are matched pretty well, but
42:53
like he is such a vapid, shallow person that he doesn't want to be
42:57
seen with her because he is embarrassed by her and he's ashamed to be with
43:00
her because maybe people think she's weird and he just doesn't like that status.
43:06
Yeah, that's probably why. Maybe he was with Katie because Katie was hot
43:08
and beautiful, yeah, so and well liked and popular. Yeah. Yeah,
43:14
yeah, it's really unfortunate. And I feel very bad for her because
43:17
you can just see right there in the conversation that she's coming to the realization
43:22
like oh shit, I have feelings for you, and he even says I
43:27
know I feel the same, but like we can't continue to do this,
43:30
and she's just like, okay, well I guess it's done. Yeah,
43:34
she's like I can't see you again. Yeah, and she's like he's like,
43:37
yeah, maybe we shouldn't see each other as much, and she's like
43:39
or at all at all, And then he's like sad by that. He's
43:43
like what, No, No, he doesn't. He's just like okay,
43:45
maybe, like he's so lubarm across the board. He equivocates on everything.
43:49
He's like, Okay, that's fine. He doesn't fucking care. No,
43:52
well, whatever you want, I don't care. Yeah, Like in his
43:53
interestittional, I think he was like trying to be like, oh, I'm
43:55
sad about it, I want to hang out or I like her whatever,
43:58
And I'm like, okay, that's why I think he's giving her mixed signals.
44:00
Yeah, I think he tells her this shit a lot, maybe like
44:04
on the camera or like in front of people. No, we're not dating
44:07
at all. And even I think Joe says in her talking head at some
44:09
point, she's like, I'm tired of being the secret yeah, which made
44:13
me really sad because I bet he does tell her shit to like just keep
44:16
having her suck as dick, like, yeah, you're my girlfriend. You
44:21
mistake your girlfriend, like it's cool, Like, yeah, we have this
44:23
connection, but like nobody knows about it. It's really great. Well,
44:27
she ends up getting up and saying I got to call my dad. I
44:30
feel really bad, and she's crying and she leaves the house. And on
44:34
the one hand, it had to be done, like you had to be
44:37
really clear with her because obviously you really haven't been up to this point.
44:40
But on the other hand, I mean, it's very sad that it came
44:45
to that and it happened on camera, and she's got to feel really bad
44:47
about herself. Yep. Well, and then in her talking head now is
44:52
saying we're still hooking up. Yeah, So I'm like, Okay, still
44:55
letting that happen though, right, I mean, like, Joe, you
44:58
got to take some responsibility for your own life. Are you consenting to that?
45:00
Yes, you are? Why are you doing that? Right? Like,
45:02
why aren't you requiring better for yourself than fucking Tom set Schwartz. I
45:07
know, Tom, they're basically the same. Well, I mean one's just
45:12
way more forthright about it, way more front street with it. Yeah.
45:15
Tom Schwartz is behind the scenes being an evil dude. Yeah, And like
45:19
Joe, that's exactly what it is. Like she just doesn't value herself enough
45:22
to be like no, because even with me, with my fucking ex constantly
45:27
messaging me, not while I was married to your daughter, but like before,
45:30
I would fall for it again and I'd be like, oh, like
45:32
yeah, I miss us, you know, like I wouldn't hook up or
45:36
anything, but I'm like, yeah, I So I feel for Joe in
45:38
that regard. But it's like girl, like go to therapy and like get
45:42
out of la Yeah, I mean, go go to a surfer town,
45:45
go to the Pacific Northwest or somewhere where people are gonna think you're really fucking
45:50
cool, because you are cool. You are cool, you have a lot
45:52
going for you. Yeah, and you're quirky and fun and like you like
45:55
to live a good life, like a fun lie would you want to be
45:58
around a bunch of people take shots at you and call you sloppy. Joe
46:02
and even La La in her I think it was her Amazon Live. Somebody
46:07
asked her like, are you friends with Joe? And she's like, I
46:09
am not friends with Joe, Like, please make no mistake. I mean
46:12
she's cool, she's fine, but we're not friends. Like Jesus Christ,
46:15
people be kind to one another. Seriously coming from me, I retieved from
46:22
cuns and threatened their lives. But I mean in practical, in real life
46:27
application, Like, it doesn't cost you anything to be nice, to be
46:30
kind to somebody who's obviously got something going on with them exactly make and some
46:35
bad choices, right, Jesus makes me sad. I know, I feel
46:38
bad for Joe. Joseph. This was okay. This episode was okay.
46:44
We needed to ramp up, though. We need a little bit more dramaicious
46:47
and not the same retreading of the drama we've already seen for eleven episodes.
46:52
We get it. Tom wants us to hate Arianna. We get it.
46:57
Tom Schwartz is the awe Shuck's good guy. That's why they want us to
47:00
believe. We get it, Like, give us something new. I'm ready
47:02
for something new I want some fights, I want some drama. I want
47:07
some screaming at each other. Give it to me. Yep. Well,
47:12
we will continue off, obviously to follow vander Pumprool's be back next week for
47:16
the next episode. Is there anything else that we need to say to these
47:21
beautiful raccoons A drug? Well, if you love our podcast, I sure
47:25
hope you go to your favorite podcast platform and leave us a glowing five star
47:30
review. Really helps us grow the pods. Thank you so much, and
47:32
don't forget about our Patreon. This is the one way that you can really
47:36
help to support the Dumpster and allow us to continue to do what we love
47:39
to do for you. And until next week when we come back to talk
47:45
seeking Sister Wife, please do not forget that we have nothing but love for
47:50
you and peace. Bye Bye,