Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS Hour 4 | Craziest Funeral Stories

Transcript

DLHS Hour 4 | Craziest Funeral Stories · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It is the dal He will show you a twenty
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: twenty six edition in case you're going to be well,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: At the Grand Conclave. I'm performing. Me and Joe Tory's
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: gonna be there. That sounds like it's gonna be a
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: lot of fun flying in and flying out. You're not
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: getting me right.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Hunter Biden is my favorite crackhead ever. I love He's
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: the most entertaining crackheads and skater from Jungle.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, he really is.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: You did you see the episode where he's got his
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: own little theme song and they're singing about him being
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: the crackhead because.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I'm she was about to put his foot in Nicky's
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: show watching my boy, I like, watch your mouth.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: I deserved. People like where's Hunters?
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Like here?
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: I am, I'm right here, I'm right here.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, remember remember Melania's house, She's gonna swim
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and she said, bring it on.
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: He did.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: He's my favorite crackey. But you know what you see
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: my cousin.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: And then oh but he's yeah, yeah, he's my favorite.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: He got your people, but he's my favorite crackhead.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I like Hunter. He is the most interesting when you
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: think about it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: He came about it, honestly, because you remember when Joe earlier,
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: when he could remember, remember he was he was pretty,
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: he's pretty hot. Remember when when Joe Biden couldn't be
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: tanged because he'd say anything anytime anywhere.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, yo, Joe had a brain tumor before.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: What Yeah he did, Oh, that's why he had I
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: don't know if totty sort of sort.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Well, there's no excuse for an ex president's kid to
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: be a cracky.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: There's no Well, he talked about it, he said. People
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: asked me all the time, why would I want to
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: smoke crack. He was like, well, because it was good.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: At the time.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, take it, take it at first, ittle,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: but I love this honesty.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: He was like, what do you mean It was fun
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: at the first, The first time was fun.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Shoot a lot of people, man, a lot of people.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: I was thinking, that was the song about your childhood friend.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: It was it was the dude who was it was?
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: He was?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: He you know, a thorough dude from my neighborhood. But
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: he died right to this, maybe five I don't even know,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: ten years ago. For he died, we go through the
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: funeral and he had he got a stretch. He was
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: joining for a long time, right, so, uh, everybody you
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: know he was, he was. She was a real street dude, right,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: So I'm out go to his funeral. And I didn't
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: seen some of these dudes, I don't know, years decades.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: So when everybody walks backs, this little dude who is
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: obviously gay, goes somebody loves folded him up like a
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: launch heer.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Sing he was his dude.
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: But you know, you one that publishers clear just folded
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: that dude up a launch cher man.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: They folded him up like legges. Boy. It was oh
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: my god. He didn't get the.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Whole line out, but the fact that he cleared his
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: throat that he did. But he clearly he was a
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: very small dude. He just walked up because it was.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: It was, but he wasn't even like they were letting
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: people say things, right, And he walked up.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Somebody his mother. It was so you know what.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I was at the funeral one time and the body
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: had a set up. Oh no, that happens.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: That happened.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: I swear it's something to do with the muscles. After
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: there is something.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, I swear the word the funniest thing. This is
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: not funny because it wasn't. But my grandmother died. So
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: we all go through the funeral and you could google
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: this is really So we're at the funeral and everybody's
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: walking by and I like, that ain't big mon. I'm like, daddy,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: that ain't that ain't your mama. Don't you start that
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: comedy stuff here? And then they noticed it wasn't her either,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: her so they had put the wrong.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Casket.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, And we drove around to other funeral homes and
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: they're like, she ain't here either, So they didn't find
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: her two months later, and my mother became an advocate
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: for people that were but she sued first, right she shooting,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: and everybody got, you know, some money. Everybody was there
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: got money. But she became an advocate for people that
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: because apparently it's not even an uncommon thing.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: That's crazy, Like how do you not know that.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: She had on her clothes, she had on my grandmother's,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: she had her ring on and stuff, but she was
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: much smaller. I'm like, big, Mama, ain't never lose this much,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: and it didn't look anything like her. My father was
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: so mad at me, like the truth, because well he
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: he thought I was kidding. All right, Well, you can
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: do whatever you want to. But I, man, I started laughing.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I laughed the whole time. They got so mad at me.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: But you got admit, that's hilarious.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Those people ain't gonna laugh at the funeral.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Well, you don't laugh, it's involuntary. You don't want to say.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: It's worse when you don't want to laugh.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Well, it's it's harder to not laugh you're not supposed to.
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: It's harder to stop yourself.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Man. And once it breaks, once you ain't supposed to
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: laugh and it breaks, it's no. And the harder you
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: try to stop funerals in church on two places, that
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: is hard.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Because man, I have seen my cousin Chucky.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Man needed that, myneed, my favorite human being, the whole,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: you know, because it was gone off. How long we're
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: gonna be here? Like, man, man, I'm I have I
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: probably have. I saved the hugely name.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I saved that.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Man. If you if you met the real ones, man,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: come on now, if you met the real ones, the ones, man, they.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Are, that's what they are. Well, they love her, they loved.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: That's so true.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: It might be so nervous. They say, we can't it's
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: gonna be some drinks.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be some drinks and some drama. Drinks and
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: drama is always gonna go bad. It's never. We never
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: nobody ever gets senned off in a proper way. Never.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: It's never. Never a warm emotional I wish we had.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: Time to tell you, to tell you the story when
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: I went to when his father that we're gonna have
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: to save that.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Radio.
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: It up.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Crows. It is the deal.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: You will show your twenty twenty six edition in case. Well,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I'm doing the Grand Conclave, so that's up. But I'm
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: at the Memorial Theater in Cincinnati. Go to this place
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: called Sue b has a great breakfast, Susie's sue b
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Oh su b b has a great breakfast.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: I think Cincinnati has one of the event there before, No, no,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: never heard.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Cincinnati has a one of the river is one of
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: the most beautiful walks I've ever seen. And you know
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: that was where what was that beloved was There was
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: a Kentucky the movies that was. That was where it was.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: And they found the old slave I think about fifteen
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: years ago they found an old slave quarters and it
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: was at Officer Tatum's house.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: He was home. He's dipping snug.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, So Kentucky's right across from Ohio. A matter of fact,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: when you land in Cincinnati, you land in Kentucky.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go see if I can find Mitch McConnell.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like, you know, even the Governor's like, hey,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: just you could call into if you could even call
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: into a radio station you got, you can call. Man,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: These dumb ass pictures of you look like cutout pictures
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: of you. No, he ain't check the crematoriums. Either that
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: or stop it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I say, Either that or stop it
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: because at this point it's too much.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, either he's gone or incapacity. I think the
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: sex pack would give him away, you know.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one thing for sure, he ain't smiling like that
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: unless his unless his face is frozen that way.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: The other thing is the same picture before.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: There's nothing different about it. His wife is just positioned different.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: That's the only thing. I'm like, who do you think
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: you're a fooling? You'll think we're stupid?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: They do?
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: They do?
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: You know? Mark Twain said about Kentucky when the end
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: of the world comes I want to be in Kentucky
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: because everything happens ten years later, including Lindsey grand He
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: just had his funeral. His his sister been at the
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: job two weeks. You know it was funny because you
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: didn't see Mike Pants go.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: To the funeral. No, no, he was at the future.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Well because they didn't tell about it for all those people,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: all of religious.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Fanatics who hate gay people.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: But they sureways pretending like they didn't know Lindsey. They
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: sure were giving him a pass. Why is Lindsay being
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: buried on his stomach?
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know. It's a tribute. It's a tribute to
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: all his grinders.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Y you stopped coming up next time of the huge.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Show, welcome the next on the next year Ugle Show.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Here's talk about. It's the show.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: We'll see the other side must operate to our poor
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: let's string. We gots to go. Okay, it's the d
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: O Hugley Show.