Latest / Midnight Mystery Stories / Trevor Noah_ What Happens When You_re Mean to Fast Food Workers

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Trevor Noah_ What Happens When You_re Mean to Fast Food Workers · Midnight Mystery Stories

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I always wondered why dogs in the township bark different to.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Dogs in the suburbs, though.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: That is something that I still don't know till this day. Like,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I noticed this even with our dogs. When we moved
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to the suburbs, all of a sudden they had this
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: poise about them.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: You know, our dogs have.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: This confidence, like at the gates, they just have this
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: thing when they march.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: They just have this confidence, you know?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: But then dogs in the township, it's those skinny ones,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: like the stripes and this weird mixed breed. And, you know,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: they bark like, they bark like they're complaining about government.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Oh. Oh.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Oh. Oh.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I miss those days, man. Some people don't believe you,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: you know that? I've met some people who go, Trevor,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: how do you know these things? You're lying, man. You
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: never grew up in the town. I was like, why
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: would I make these stories up? It's half Swiss, half Xhosa.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: That's who I am. It's not that weird to me,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: you know? Half Swiss, half Xhosa. Just think of me
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: like a Swiss pockelette. That's all, you know? That's all
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: it really is.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Ah. Ah.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I feel like South Africa is getting.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: A lot more angry, though. I don't know if you
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: guys have noticed, if you felt it in the air.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Over the past few years, we've just got a bit more,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: you know? More fights happening, more, you know? We're not
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: growing as a nation, I feel.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: We're doing really well.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Rainbow Nation, Rugby World Cup, all of those things.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: 2010, we all aimed for it, and then now we,
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: you know? It's time to move, though.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: It's time to, South Africa's 18 years old, 18 years
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: of a democracy, you know?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: It means we're old enough to drink now, so. We
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: need that drink.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Also old enough to work, old enough to do something,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: old enough to vote. It's time for a lot of
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: young black people.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I feel like young black people, it's time for us
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: to find our struggle now.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It's like apartheid, that was somebody else's fight and now
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: it's our thing. It's time for us to get off
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: the apartheid train. Because it was fun. Choo-choo, apartheid. Choo-choo.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: But now it's time to get off. Not forget, though.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying we forget apartheid. No, no, no. Leave
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: the train there. Holy shit, say, oh, remember, yeah. Don't forget.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Because some people are bastardizing about that. It actually hurts me,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: to be honest. You get guys using it as.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: A scapegoat for everything. Politicians caught stealing money. Minister, you
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: stole 200 million.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but the thing with apartheid is that what it did.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: To our people.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, you stole. You stole money, 200 million. Yeah,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: but if it wasn't for apartheid, then we would have never,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: never what?
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: No, you stole. That's what happened. You stole. They just
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: bastardized the thing, you know?
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: People just fight and we've got to get we've got
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to move we've got to move forward but but not
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: get over it i've heard too many white people say
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: that you know recently on online on radio and stuff
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: People yeah you know i'm bloody sick and tired of
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: these people using this as a crutch man it's time
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: to get over it come on man 20 bloody years
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: get over it now.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: No guys you don't just get over apartheid you don't
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: you know it's not like a tiny little thing you
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: can help people back no education no jobs people need
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: to catch up now it's not a It's not like
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: black people are just going to be like, yeah.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: About that. Woo! Over it.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: No.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: You have to work. You have to work to move forward.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: You don't just get over it.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: And then people go, yeah, but Trevor, man, how the
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: hell are you expecting us to be patient? You bloody
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: guys have BEE and stuff, man. You're better off than us.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: You bloody got BEE.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: No, not better. BEE aims to equalize. It aims to.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: You know, to try and fix what happened in the
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: past and get everyone to the same level.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: That's what BE is supposed to do. And it's not easy.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: In fact, you've got to think of it like this.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: If you try to understand how it works, think of
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: people of color in this country, black people. Think of
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: black people in this country like Oscar Pistorius, right? We
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: were all born the same.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Everyone had legs. Legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, right?
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: And then apartheid came.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Chup.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: No legs.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And black people were like, ah, ah, ah, ah. And
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: for years we lived like that. And then apartheid ended
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: one day. Declare came, no more apartheid, it's over. And
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: we're like, yeah. And then people were like, okay, black
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: people walk.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: And we're like, uh-uh.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: You can't just expect people to, you know, you gotta
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: get into the game and that's what BEE was. The
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: finest minds thought of BEE was the finest black minds
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: and white minds that came together. And Indians, of course,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: because there was money, you know, so there was like,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: they came together and they figured out how we make
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: BEE work. So we didn't have the legs and now
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: BEE is like our blades, you know, it gets us
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: in the game. And like Oscar says, it's not supposed
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: to give you an advantage, it just gets you to
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: the same place.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: You just wanna be there.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Everyone running together and and they're not easy to use
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: be we're going to need to understand oscar told me
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: it took long to understand those things you you don't
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: just run every you know you've got to understand some
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: people move faster than others you you try and get
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: how the blades work and that's be and we're working
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: together you know and you go.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah but chev you say you're not better but then
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: you've got those bloody eggs with hundreds of millions and
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: billions what the hell do you explain how do you explain.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Those guys uh you know what those are those are
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: thieves That's what they are. They're thieves. They're not black thieves.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: They're not white thieves. They're thieves. They steal. They're stealing
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: money and we must catch them. That's what it is.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: We keep making crime a color thing. No, it's not
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: a color thing. No, no, no. It's a crime thing.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Because people were stealing back in the day as well
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: during apartheid. And even, there were tenders there as well.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Tenders didn't get invented now. There were tenders there, and
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: companies like Sambo and Santam and those guys there, 600
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: million rand gone missing.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Then government was like, hey, hey, hey, freaky, where's the money?
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: He's like, no, no, I must put the money. Where's
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: the money? Ah, where's the money, freaky?
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: No, there was a bucket there, where's the money?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Hey, freaky, did you steal the money?
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I can't have it, I.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Just brought it. Everyone steals. It's not good and it's
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: not normal, but it's not a color thing. We mustn't
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: make it that, you know? What B is, it aims
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: to equalize. That's what it does.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: But then what those guys done, those sneaky tenderpreneurs, what
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: they've done is they've come in and just like that
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Brazilian guy.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: They've made their blades longer. They made them longer and.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: They put extra shit inside that to give them an
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: unfair advantage so they can.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Cheat and win. And you're like, what are you doing?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, tender blades. That's what those guys are doing.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: So white people, be sensitive. Don't just say, get over it.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Let's work together to move. And I'm not saying you
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: must stop complaining. I'm not saying that. You guys must
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: keep complaining, eh? No, you must, because you guys are
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: good at it. You guys are very good. When there's
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: money stealing and there's 200 million Jacob Zuma and Gantler,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you guys must complain because you're the best at that.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: You keep complaining. We need you for that.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: In fact, you're so good, you should be teaching black
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: people how to complain. Why don't you run workshops and
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: stuff and just show... Because black people in South Africa don't.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Know how to complain. We grumble. That's all we do.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: We grumble.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Something doesn't go right with government, do we complain?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: No, we're like, government, government, government. Ah, government, their houses,
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: their jobs, nothing. Government. Then people come. Are you going
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: to vote? Are you going to do something? What's their point?
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: What's their point? Government, government. No, it's not this.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: You must learn how to complain. Black people don't know
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: how to complain. You see it in the small things.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Go to checkers.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: There's some guy standing there buying a loaf of brown bread.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: He's been waiting for 20 minutes. 20 minutes.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Finally gets to the front. That woman there with the
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: eyebrows throws down that sign. Closed. Bah! Does he complain?
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: He just stands there. Ah, love.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Ah, ah.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Just one bread, just one, 20 minutes.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Ah, yes. And then someone will come and go, excuse me,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: do you have a problem?
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Then he'll be like, no, it's fine. White people will
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: never let that happen, ever.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: You'll see them jumping from three people back before that
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: sign even comes halfway down. They'll block it like a
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: kung fu master.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: No!
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: No!
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: No, you don't. Excuse me. No! Hey, hey, I don't care.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: You don't close this thing. We've been waiting here for plenty.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I don't care. You open up this till. You get
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: your manager. I'm not going to wait here. And then
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: you send me to another till. No, no. That's not
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: how you treat a customer. You get your manager.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: And now the guy at the back is like, yeah,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, tell them. Tell them, missus. Tell them. I want
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: my bread. We've been waiting here forever. Yeah. Let's work together.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: White people, teach black people how to complain. Teach them
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: how to complain. And then in exchange, in exchange, black
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: people will teach you when to complain.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Because you guys complain all the time. You guys... Like always.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: You can't just always. It's like a superpower. You've got
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: to know when to use it. You can't just always
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: be Hulk.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: You've got to know when to just complain when it's
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: not necessary.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: A prime example of this was what I saw one day.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I was coming back from a show, 2 o'clock in
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: the morning, and I was at a McDonald's.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: And I parked my car, and I'm going to walk
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: in because.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: The drive-thru doesn't move at that time. We know this.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I parked the car. I'm walking past the windows where
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: people order their food. And this guy pulls up to
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: the window to place his order, and this guy is
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: huge giant guy he's like muscles and tattoos and just
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: like huge like buff guy and he's halfway halfway out
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: of his car he's so big he had like extra
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: muscles in the back.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Seat just like.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Giant guy and so he pulls up to the window
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: and he's course of light and he's ah you know
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: and he gets there and it's two o'clock in the
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: morning and it's cold he doesn't care his windows are
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: down blasting music Woppa Gangnam Style.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: He's there and he pulls up to the window the
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: woman's there like welcome to McDonald's can I take you
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: on a.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Place the guy's like yeah right before you take my
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: order how about next time you guys make it a
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: drive through and not a park through right and this
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: woman's like oh okay Can I take your order, please?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: He wasn't letting up. He's like, hey, how about you
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: say sorry or something? You apologized there.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Say sorry. She's like, oh, okay. Sure. Can I take
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: your order, please? Well, yeah, that's better, eh? Right, let's
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: see what we'll have.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Babes, what are you having?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: He had a girlfriend. I couldn't even see her. Tiny
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: little thing. Looked like he had been stealing her meals
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: his whole life. What do you have?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Right, she's going to have a six-piece chicken McNuggets there.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Sweet chili, eh?
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: And then I'm going to have, give me a super-sized
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: number one.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Don't be stingy with the chips. You make sure they're right.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: She's like, okay, six-piece chicken McNuggets, sweet chili.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: One super-sized number one.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Anything else? Like, nothing else. Just make a chop, yeah.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I really lost half of my life, yeah.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, sir, you can pay and pick up
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: at the next window. He's like, thank you. And I mean,
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I'm in awe of this. I've just watched one of
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: the best displays of complaining I've ever seen. Just everything,
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: the execution, the delivery, the confidence. Perfect. 10 out of 10.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Just the timing. Why would you.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Complain at 2 o'clock in the morning at a drive-thru?
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know?
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Like, I'm so fascinated by it. He's thrown me off
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: my quest. I was going to get food.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I'm walking. I was long there. But you know when
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: you see some shit's about to happen and you.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I was fascinated. Why would you complain? Do you never
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: ask yourself why to drive through McDonald's, Nando's, KFC, wherever
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: it is?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: There's always a window where you place your order for
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: the food and there's a window where you pick up
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the food. But in between, you don't see what's happening there.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Because that part there, that's where they judge you. That's
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: where they decide your fate. You there being an ass.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: She just worked a 12-hour shift. She'll show you Gangnam Style.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: As soon as you drive off, she's there at the microphone, like.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: One six-piece chicken McNugget, switch it in. One super-sized number one.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Special order. These guys in the kitchen are losing their minds.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Special order. Special order. Thank you very much, say have
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: a good night. Driving away like a legend. Yeah, I...
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Extra fresh. Can taste the beef.