Latest / Afzal's Reset Entropy Podcast / Why You Keep Learning but Still Feel Stuck

Transcript

Why You Keep Learning but Still Feel Stuck · Afzal's Reset Entropy Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's podcast will be a little different.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to talk about the idea.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: The idea you saved.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: You finish a podcast and a sentence stays with you.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Many times that can happen with the motivational video also or a quote.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's almost trusting yourself.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's about saying what you actually feel.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it reminds you that there's more you want to do with your life.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: You save it, you send it to someone.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: For a moment you feel understood.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: You think yes, this is what I've been trying to explain.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then later someone asks you for something.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: What that something may be.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: You want to say no, but you say yes.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or there is a decision you've been thinking about, you know what you want to do, but you ask one more person on what am I supposed to do here.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or you finally have a little time for the things you want to create, you spend that time finding another video about how to begin.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of the day, the beautiful idea is still sitting in your saved folder.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Many times in your brain, and after three days, you forget about it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: The moment where you needed it has already been passed.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about that space today because I care about what happens after someone feels inspired.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: What happens when you go back into your life?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: When the phone rings, when somebody disagrees, when the familiar doubt comes back.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Where does the thing you understood go then?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I am Avzal and this is Resetant Trophy.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want us to take one thing you already understand and find somewhere real to live it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, how I describe my own change when I talk about my own transformation.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I can't honestly put all of it into one perfect sequence.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I did this, I did that, did this.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely did a lot of things.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I surrounded myself with endless things.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I took something from Rem John, I took something from Joe Dispenza, I did, I took something from Earl Nightingale, something from Tony Robbins, something from my mentors, something from who I learned on the coaching system.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I listened, I learned, I started seeing things in myself.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I even started taking things which my parents tell, which I never agreed with, but I started realizing what is the deeper meaning behind that.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I started understanding people and their emotion, what they are trying to say.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I surrounded myself with this work so much that as I described it recently, I became it.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: That is how the experience fell to me.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still understanding all the pieces that went into it, and I think that honestly matters because when we look back, it's tempting to make everything sound tidy.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: First, I learned this, then I did this, then everything changed, but life can be more tangled than that, isn't it?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: An idea can reach you before you're ready to use it.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: A conversation can bring something back that can head months ago.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can understand something in your head and need time to find out what it means in your own life.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you resonate very maturely to something, and then after a few years, you actually live it.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I value learning books and teachers and been part of my life to be honest.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But recently I found myself asking a question about the work I share.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: What practice are we actually giving people?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: If someone understands their pattern, what are they going to do when they meet it again?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: What experience are they going to have?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: What can they try in the middle of an ordinary day?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: That is a question I want to keep close because I want what I share to help someone create the change they choose to have.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Find the moment where the idea matters.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Take the idea of self-transformation, self-trust.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to agree with.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, I want to trust myself, but where does it become real?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's the moment before you send a message to three people asking what they think you should do.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's choosing what to work on first.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's realizing that you do have a preference.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Even if somebody else would choose differently.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Again, you can understand it, you can explain why it matters, but the moment might be very small.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Someone asks, Are you okay with this?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: and you are about to say anything is fine.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's the place where the idea could meet your life, or take the belief that you can build something of your own.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: That belief may mean a lot to you, it may have been with you for years.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Today it might look like opening the document and writing the first paragraph.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: These are illustrations.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying every decision needs to be made alone or every request needs a no.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you need advice, which is normal.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you want help, which is again a normal thing.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you need more information.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: The useful question is what is happening in this particular moment right here.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Am I choosing?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Am I following the answer I actually want to give?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I just looking for a validation for it to happen?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or did I leave my own answer behind before I even consider it?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: When you find a moment that's specific, you have somewhere to begin.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, something I keep coming back to is alignment between the mind, the heart, and the body.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Mind you can keep mind only, there's no more to it.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Heart is can be said to that can be spirit, it can be soul, and it is part of how I understand our experience.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Think about a conversation you've been avoiding.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your mind may know what you want to say, your heart may know what honestly, closeness or a little more freedom looks like.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: But as you imagine saying it, you feel yourself tightening, you begin editing, you want to keep that peace, you start opting from that filtered version of you rather than a true version of you.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: In this state, different parts of you seems to be moving in 10 different directions.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Your heart is in one saying one thing, your mind is saying one thing, your body is feeling something.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can notice that without forcing an explanation onto it.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: What do I think?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: What do what am I feeling as I consider doing it?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: I believe there is a connection between how we live inside and how we meet life outside.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: The connection means something to me, and one place I want to explore it is through what we actually do.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: If I believe my voice matters, where am I giving it space?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: If I believe there are possibilities ahead of me, where am I making room for one?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: If I want a life that feels more like mine, not the filtered version of me, which ordinary choice reflects that you may still feel uncertain as you begin.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: You may care about someone still and still need to say something they find difficult, you know.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: You may want an opportunity and still feel nervous about taking the first step, which is exactly normal.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is the human experience we all go through.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: We should go through to hop into the other life or the other self to go forward.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself room to notice all of this for today.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Choose a response small enough to try while being honest about how you feel.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a sentence, a first attempt, a little time spent with someone you care about.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is one way to explore what alignment means in your actual day.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: One idea, one moment, one response.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do something with this right now.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you are driving, keep your attention on the road.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can come back to the question later.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you are someone, you can pause, or if you're if you are somewhere right now, take a piece of paper and open a notebook.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to write these lines with me.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: The first line is one thing I already understand is quite whatever, in terms of you feel some repeating pattern, some decision getting delayed, some feelings which are opting, some decision, some self-doubt, some procrastination, whatever it is.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Write it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I keep looking for reassurance when I already have an answer.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I agree too quickly and feel resentful later.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I care about this idea, but I keep postponing the first attempt.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one, whichever it is.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Take 10 seconds, write it down.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: The second line is the moment where this matters today is try to name a situation after this episode when I open my laptop.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: When that person asks if I'm available to you when I feel like asking someone to choose for me, specific enough that you could recognize it when it arrives, and which happens very often.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Take more 10 seconds and write that down.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: One response, I can try it.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it within your control.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can't make someone approve of your answer.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can decide to answer honestly.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can't guarantee that your first attempt will be good for sure, but you can give it 10 minutes, you can't make uncertainty disappear just like that.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can write down your own view before asking for advice.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: How about that?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Wait with that, tally with it, and then after waiting and thinking over, then if you feel like is it even necessary to us, build those small evidence in your life.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look at what you have written: an idea, a moment, a response, a thing you want to do, a thing you want to buy.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I for example, I understand that I keep agreeing before checking whether I have time.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: The moment is the next small request I receive.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: The response is let me check what I've already committed to and I'll get back to you.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: That gives you the little space to choose.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Another example.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that I keep polishing something because I feel uncomfortable let letting it be seen.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, perfectionism.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: The moment is when I open the file today.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: My response is show one suitable person the current version and ask one specific question.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Choose an attempt that makes sense for your situation and its stakes.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: A small everyday choice is good place to explore.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Read your three lines once more.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: What you wrote.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Can you actually picture yourself trying this today?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: If it feels too large or vague, make it smaller.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Be confident, maybe difficult to act first initially.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Make it small, make it comfortable for you first.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what I prefer when someone asks, give me a give you a moment, you can recognize this.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to do this with a very realistic sense where you're able to execute it.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: If it becomes too much pressure, try to get one level down.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: After you have tried it, come back to what happened.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Start with the fact.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: What did I do?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: What happened next?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: What did I feel?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: You might discover that you gave your room answer and then spent 10 minutes wondering whether it was wrong.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: That is useful to notice.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: You tried the action, the familiar doubt followed it.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or you might notice that you agreed immediately.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Then remembered your plan afterwards.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Write that down too.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where did the moment pass?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Was the request unexpected?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Did you need a sentence?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: You could reach for more easily.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Was the action too big for a first attempt?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Stay curious about the detail.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to turn one difficult attempt into judgment about yourself.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I always do this, I never change.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: But then you lose the information inside the experience, isn't it?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: It starts going on thinking zone of something else altogether.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps the important thing you notice was that you knew your answer until you saw the other person's reaction.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you began the work, then stopped when you couldn't tell whether it would turn out well.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you waited all day for a feeling of readiness.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Those are specific places to return to.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Another chance to notice, another chance to adjust, to adapt.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't put everything under your control.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Other people have choices, circumstances matter.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Some outcomes depends on things you cannot decide, but there's still a part you can participate in.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: You can practice giving your own answer.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can return to what you want to create.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can notice the familiar response and see what happens when you try something else.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I want learning to support that participation.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the next book gives you language for something you couldn't explain.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a teacher helps you see an option you hadn't considered.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a loved one, maybe a conversation, maybe your family dynamics, maybe a life situation, whatever reminds you why this matters to you.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your inner self is shouting out, reaching out to you, and why it matters, and what does that feel?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Take what is useful and give it somewhere to learn a real relationship, addition, or real piece of work.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Over time, you may find that an idea you used to repeat begin showing up in your life.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: This part of what I mean when I describe becoming the work I surrounded myself with.