Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Mean People... And What To Do About Them, Part 2 Moving Beyond Even

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Andy Stanley - Mean People... And What To Do About Them, Part 2 Moving Beyond Even · Andy Stanley Sermons

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  Speaker 1: Now, as some of you know, today we are in
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  Speaker 1: part two of a series entitled Mean People and specifically
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: what to do about them. Mean people and what to
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  Speaker 1: do about them. And just so you know, I realize
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  Speaker 1: that you have been mean. Perhaps somebody is going to
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  Speaker 1: hear or watch this message. I hope not. And you'll
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  Speaker 1: come to mind. I hope that's not the case. We've
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: all had seasons in our lives when we've been the
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  Speaker 1: mean people. And mostly when we get together and open
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  Speaker 1: the scripture together and worship together, we're talking about how
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  Speaker 1: to live a life in such a way that we're
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  Speaker 1: not the mean people. So we usually focus on how
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  Speaker 1: to become better people. But in this series, we're talking
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  Speaker 1: specifically about how to respond to or what to do
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  Speaker 1: about the mean people in our lives. Not just the
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  Speaker 1: folks who bug us. We all have people who bug us. Specifically,
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  Speaker 1: these are the mean people. These are the people who
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  Speaker 1: are deceptive. They're controlling. They're just unkind. They're unpredictable. They're manipulative.
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  Speaker 1: To be specific, I'm not talking about somebody who's physically
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  Speaker 1: or sexually abusive. That's different. That's illegal. This is just
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  Speaker 1: the mean people. And it's important to talk about this.
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  Speaker 1: And it's important to think through how we're going to respond.
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  Speaker 1: Because if we don't have a plan, if we're not prepared,
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  Speaker 1: if we're not proactive, well, you know what happens. What
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  Speaker 1: happens to the mean people in our lives? The mean
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  Speaker 1: people in our lives, they actually gain a over our lives.
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  Speaker 1: And before we know it, we are being mean right back,
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  Speaker 1: even if we don't mean to. In fact, it's almost
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  Speaker 1: as if we have no choice because, and you know this,
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  Speaker 1: mean can make you mean because mean people keep us
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  Speaker 1: off balance. And if somebody walks up to you and
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  Speaker 1: pushes you and you're off balance, what do you do? Well,
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  Speaker 1: you have no choice, but to compensate. When we're off balance,
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  Speaker 1: we're forced to compensate. So when you're around these people,
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  Speaker 1: you always feel a little bit off balance. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: when you're around these people, other people who know you
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  Speaker 1: might even say to you, you know, when you're around him,
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  Speaker 1: when you're with her, I noticed when you're together, you're
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  Speaker 1: not the same person you are everywhere else. You seem
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  Speaker 1: to become a different person. It's because that person has
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  Speaker 1: kind of thrown you off balance. And obviously, or it
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  Speaker 1: seems intuitively, our only choice is to respond and like kind.
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  Speaker 1: I told you the first part of the story last week.
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  Speaker 1: We have an 80-year-old friend, Sandra and I do, named Alice.
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  Speaker 1: And Alice, Sandra became her legal power, financial power of
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  Speaker 1: attorney because we needed to move Alice out of her home.
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  Speaker 1: into assisted living. And Sandra went through, jumped through all
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  Speaker 1: the hoops to become legal power of attorney. And we
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  Speaker 1: eventually got Alice moved. But during that process, Alice had
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  Speaker 1: invited a friend to move in with her who had
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  Speaker 1: fallen on hard times. This guy's in his late 60s,
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  Speaker 1: living out of his car. And out of the goodness
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  Speaker 1: of her heart, she said, well, you can stay with
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  Speaker 1: me a few months until you kind of get yourself together.
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  Speaker 1: And we were warned that if he moved in, we
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  Speaker 1: would have a hard time getting him out. But when
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  Speaker 1: I met this guy, his name's Roger, he seemed like
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  Speaker 1: such a nice guy and he was actually helpful to me.
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  Speaker 1: with Alice and helpful with the garage sale. So we
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  Speaker 1: eventually get her house cleaned out. Some of you heard
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  Speaker 1: this story last time. Get her house cleaned out. We
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  Speaker 1: put the house on the market, but he won't move out.
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  Speaker 1: We gave him a deadline. He won't move out. We're
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  Speaker 1: showing the house. A real estate agent is showing the house.
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  Speaker 1: There's nothing in the house now. except Roger's air mattress,
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  Speaker 1: some clothes and his computer. It's like, it's a lovely home.
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  Speaker 1: Just don't look in there at the guy camping out
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  Speaker 1: in the house. He'll be gone. So we're trying to
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  Speaker 1: show the house, sell the house so she can get
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  Speaker 1: her money. She was living off of pension, social security.
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  Speaker 1: And there was a little bit of a gap in
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  Speaker 1: terms of her monthly expenses with the assisted living. So
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  Speaker 1: we really, really wanted to sell her house, put her
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  Speaker 1: equity in the bank and she'd be good to go.
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  Speaker 1: But Roger wouldn't move out. And what was our response? Well,
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  Speaker 1: our response was pretty much what probably your response would be.
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  Speaker 1: We sat around coming up with mean, manipulative ways to
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  Speaker 1: get Roger out of Alice's house because that's just what
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  Speaker 1: you do. And after a while, we realized we're becoming
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  Speaker 1: like Roger. We're thinking like mean people. In fact, he
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  Speaker 1: was so in our heads and it was like he
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  Speaker 1: was living with us in our home. It was all
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  Speaker 1: we talked about. He became the focus of our attention.
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  Speaker 1: I'd come home every day. What's the latest with Roger?
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  Speaker 1: As we got closer and closer and closer, this closing.
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  Speaker 1: And we were so worried he was going to undermine
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  Speaker 1: the closing. In fact, as I shared last time, he
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  Speaker 1: actually tried to do it. The point being, it's difficult
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  Speaker 1: not to be mean to mean people. It's difficult not
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  Speaker 1: to be unkind to people who've been unkind to us.
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  Speaker 1: It's difficult to be sensitive to insensitive people. And again,
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  Speaker 1: the golden rule is like right out the window, isn't it?
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  Speaker 1: When it comes to mean people. Now it's the iron rule.
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  Speaker 1: It's the do unto others as they have done unto
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  Speaker 1: you or as they are doing unto you or even worse, right?
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  Speaker 1: But of course, and we talked about this, the problem
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  Speaker 1: with getting back at the mean people or the problem
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  Speaker 1: with trying to get even with mean people is that
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  Speaker 1: it actually makes things worse. Because the problem with getting
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  Speaker 1: even is that it makes us even with someone we
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  Speaker 1: don't really even like. It makes us like someone that
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  Speaker 1: we actually don't dislike. So the question we're asking in
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  Speaker 1: this series, and we began, you know, unpacking to answer
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  Speaker 1: last time is what do we do? I mean, you
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  Speaker 1: can't just ignore these people that actually empowers them. And
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  Speaker 1: eventually you're going to break, right? Eventually you're going to break.
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  Speaker 1: You're going to act like them or worse, which actually
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  Speaker 1: gives them more power over you. In fact, we have
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  Speaker 1: all been there. Some of our greatest regrets perhaps are
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  Speaker 1: how we responded or how we reacted to the people
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  Speaker 1: who threw us off balance, the mean people. So there's
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  Speaker 1: actually a third option. You don't have to ignore them.
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  Speaker 1: You don't have to become like them. There's a third
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  Speaker 1: option that actually takes away some of their power. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: it actually positions us to keep our frustration from overflowing
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  Speaker 1: into other relationships around us. Maybe you grew up in
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  Speaker 1: a family where your mom was angry, your father was angry.
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  Speaker 1: And as you got older, you realized they're not really
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  Speaker 1: angry with me. They're angry with their father, their mother.
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  Speaker 1: They're angry with somebody else. They're angry with life, but
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  Speaker 1: their anger just overflowed in how they parented. And this
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  Speaker 1: third option protects us from falling into that trap as well.
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  Speaker 1: Jesus taught it, of course, and Jesus modeled it. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: he was the ultimate model, but Abigail modeled it as well.
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  Speaker 1: And Abigail is a character in the Old Testament that
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  Speaker 1: many people don't know about, and she's part of sort
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  Speaker 1: of the backstory of the story of David. Most of
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  Speaker 1: us are familiar with King David if you grew up
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  Speaker 1: in church. Maybe you know the story of shepherd boy David,
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  Speaker 1: but this story takes place in the season of his
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  Speaker 1: life where he is fugitive. David. When he was a teenager,
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  Speaker 1: as most of us know, he marched down into the
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  Speaker 1: Valley of Elah. He killed Goliath with a slingshot. In
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  Speaker 1: that moment, he became a national hero. So King Saul,
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  Speaker 1: the King of Israel brought him in close, actually made
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  Speaker 1: him part of his family because he was a national
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  Speaker 1: hero and he was a leader and he had influence.
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  Speaker 1: And King Saul was smart enough to know you keep
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  Speaker 1: your enemies, you keep your friends close and you keep
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  Speaker 1: your enemies close as well. And David, he realized it
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  Speaker 1: was a bit of a threat to his power and
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  Speaker 1: his influence in Israel. And then He gets word that
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  Speaker 1: a rogue prophet had actually gone to David's house when
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  Speaker 1: he was a little boy and anointed him as the
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  Speaker 1: next king of Israel. And if you are the current king,
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  Speaker 1: of course, that's a problem because you want your son
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  Speaker 1: to become the next king. So now David is a
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  Speaker 1: threat to Saul's dynasty. So he tries to kill David.
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  Speaker 1: He eventually banishes him. David becomes a fugitive. He gathers
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  Speaker 1: other fugitives around him. Before long, he's got about 600 men,
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  Speaker 1: their wives, their girlfriends, their kids kind of traipsing along
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  Speaker 1: behind him. He's got a small army, but he's a
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  Speaker 1: fugitive from the law. And he's angry and he's angry
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  Speaker 1: with King Saul and he's angry with the circumstances, but
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  Speaker 1: he can't get to Saul. So he just kind of
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  Speaker 1: carries this seething anger everywhere he goes. And And that's
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  Speaker 1: what brings us to the story. And this is where
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  Speaker 1: we meet Abigail. So I'm gonna catch you up a
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  Speaker 1: little bit with the story and then we'll continue from there.
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  Speaker 1: Here's how the story begins. 1 Samuel chapter 25. Samuel
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  Speaker 1: was essentially David's biographer. A certain man in Mon who
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  Speaker 1: had property there in Carmel was very wealthy. He had
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  Speaker 1: a thousand goats and 3,000 sheep, which he was shearing
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  Speaker 1: in Carmel. And his name was Nabal. Now during sheep
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  Speaker 1: shearing season, men and families who had a lot of
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  Speaker 1: sheep discovered just how much wealthier they had become. This
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  Speaker 1: was like payday. This was an annual financial report. His
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  Speaker 1: name was Nabal. And his wife's name was Abigail. And
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  Speaker 1: she was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband
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  Speaker 1: was harsh and mean, there's our word, in his dealings.
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  Speaker 1: So David and his men hear about the fact that
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  Speaker 1: Nabal is having sheep shearing in Carmel and realizes Nabal
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  Speaker 1: is about to become even wealthier. So David sends 10
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  Speaker 1: of his men to Carmel to meet with Nabal to say, hey,
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  Speaker 1: would you be willing to share some of your wealth
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  Speaker 1: and some of your extra wealth, some of your extra
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  Speaker 1: with me and my men? And why would David feel
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  Speaker 1: like he could make that request? Well, that's what the
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  Speaker 1: message to Nabal, that's the message from David's men to
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  Speaker 1: Nabal explains that. Here's what they said. They said, Nabal,
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  Speaker 1: when your shepherds were with us out in the fields
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  Speaker 1: for months and months and months, when your shepherds were
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  Speaker 1: with us, we did not mistreat them. And the whole
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  Speaker 1: time they were at Carmel, nothing of theirs was missing.
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  Speaker 1: In other words, our men could have taken whatever they
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  Speaker 1: wanted to take. We could have taken women, we could
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  Speaker 1: have taken sheep, we could have mistreated your shepherds, but
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  Speaker 1: instead you can talk to them, nothing went missing. In
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  Speaker 1: other words, your profit is due in part to our protection.
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  Speaker 1: So this seemed kind of reasonable. Hey, would you share
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  Speaker 1: with us your profits? Because your profits are due in
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  Speaker 1: part to our protections. Nabal's response, he was rude. He
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  Speaker 1: said this to David's messengers, who is this David? Now
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  Speaker 1: he knew who he was. Who is this David? Who
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  Speaker 1: is this son of Jesse who's broken away from the king?
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  Speaker 1: He's just a bandit. He's a fugitive. He's a nobody.
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  Speaker 1: He's an outlaw. I did not ask for his help.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't need his help. And I don't owe him anything.
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  Speaker 1: And you can go back and tell him that. So
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  Speaker 1: David's men, they turned around and they went back. And
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  Speaker 1: when they arrived, they reported every And if you were
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  Speaker 1: with us last time, you'll remember David's response. David said
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  Speaker 1: to his men, each of you strap on your sword.
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  Speaker 1: So they did. And David strapped his on as well.
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  Speaker 1: And about 400 men, about 400 men went up with David.
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  Speaker 1: They were headed out of the mountains and Now this
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  Speaker 1: 400 men, this was an overreaction, as we said, of
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  Speaker 1: epic proportion. This was going to be a massacre. And
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  Speaker 1: as he rides along, he does what many of us
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  Speaker 1: have done many, many times. As he rides along, he
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  Speaker 1: kind of builds up a head of steam. He begins
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  Speaker 1: justifying to himself what he wasn't 100% sure he should
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  Speaker 1: be doing. doing. It's been useless, he mutters to himself.
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  Speaker 1: It's been useless, all my watching over this fellow's property
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  Speaker 1: in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing.
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  Speaker 1: And what has he done? How has he responded to me?
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  Speaker 1: He has paid me back evil. for good. And then God,
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  Speaker 1: you know, David evokes God's name and invites God into
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  Speaker 1: the equation. May God deal with me. He says, may
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  Speaker 1: God deal with me. May God deal with David, be
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  Speaker 1: it ever so severely. If by morning I leave alive
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  Speaker 1: one male of all who belong to him, I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to kill his servants, his friends, his sons, and then
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to kill David. Now, again, you read this
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  Speaker 1: story and you're like, okay, so David, he didn't share
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  Speaker 1: with you. Is this what you do? Well, if we
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  Speaker 1: know anything, or if you know anything about David's history,
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  Speaker 1: this is what he did. So he's riding along, he's hurt,
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  Speaker 1: he's angry, he's powering up. It's gonna be evil for evil.
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  Speaker 1: He's really channeling, I think, his frustration with King Saul,
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  Speaker 1: but King Saul is untouchable, but he's found somebody. He
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  Speaker 1: can take his anger away. out on. And that's pretty
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  Speaker 1: much where we left off last time with the story.
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  Speaker 1: So we'll continue from there. Meanwhile, meanwhile, back in Carmel,
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  Speaker 1: here's what happened. One of the servants, one of the servants,
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  Speaker 1: Nabal's servants, told Abigail, Nabal's wife, David sent messengers. You
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  Speaker 1: weren't here, we find out later. You weren't here, but
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  Speaker 1: let me tell you what happened. David sent messengers from
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  Speaker 1: the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but our
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  Speaker 1: master hurled insults at them. Yet, Abigail, these men, David's men,
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  Speaker 1: these men were so good to us. They did not
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  Speaker 1: mistreat us the whole time we were out in the
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  Speaker 1: fields near them. Nothing went missing night and day, night
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  Speaker 1: and day. They were like a wall around us. They
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  Speaker 1: protected us the whole time we were herding our sheep
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  Speaker 1: near them. And then she says, Abigail, think it over.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to think it over and see what
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  Speaker 1: you can do because disaster is hanging over our master
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  Speaker 1: and his whole household. And then I think she leans in.
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  Speaker 1: She doesn't say this very loud. She whispers in Abigail's ear,
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  Speaker 1: he is such a wicked man. He's such a wicked
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  Speaker 1: man that nobody, nobody can talk to him. So Abigail
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  Speaker 1: acted quickly. And here's what she does. It's kind of interesting.
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  Speaker 1: She assembles a caravan of food donkeys. Okay, you're familiar
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  Speaker 1: with food trucks. Okay, food donkeys, caravan of food donkeys.
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  Speaker 1: She gets all these donkeys, ties them together, and then
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  Speaker 1: she loads them up with food, food donkeys. There were
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  Speaker 1: hundreds of loaves of bread, figs, cakes, wine. She just
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  Speaker 1: loads them up. She knows she has about 400 male
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  Speaker 1: mouth to feed. And then she told her servant, this
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  Speaker 1: was so smart. She said to her servants, you go
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  Speaker 1: on ahead. You head out toward the plane. I'll follow you.
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  Speaker 1: But she did not tell her husband anything. Nabal what
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  Speaker 1: she was up to. Meanwhile, coming down out of the mountains,
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  Speaker 1: here comes David and his 400 men armed for battle.
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  Speaker 1: And he's just mumbling to himself, building up this head
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  Speaker 1: of steam, steam justifying, building up justification for what he's
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  Speaker 1: about to do. And as he comes out of this ravine,
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  Speaker 1: the text tells us, he comes out of this ravine
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  Speaker 1: onto this big wide open plain. And what does he see?
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  Speaker 1: A caravan of food donkeys. And in the front is
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  Speaker 1: this beautiful woman, And it totally messes up his mood.
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  Speaker 1: Have you ever had that happen? Like you've got your
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  Speaker 1: speech perfectly planned and you've kind of built up a
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  Speaker 1: head of steam and you're gonna go home or you're
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: gonna walk down to the other office. You got it
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  Speaker 1: all worked out. And then somebody apologizes or somebody does
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  Speaker 1: something so nice for you. It's like, I was so mad.
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  Speaker 1: I was perfectly mad. I was perfectly mad to deliver
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  Speaker 1: this message. So here comes David. I mean, he's spent
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  Speaker 1: all this time. He's got these guys and here's the
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  Speaker 1: food caravan, ruins his mood. I mean, you just can't
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  Speaker 1: stay mad with that going on. So here's what the
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  Speaker 1: text says. When... When Abigail saw David, she quickly got
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  Speaker 1: off her donkey and she bowed down before David with
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  Speaker 1: her face to the ground. And this is so powerful.
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  Speaker 1: She begins to speak to David. She begins to speak
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  Speaker 1: to David as if he is already the man that
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  Speaker 1: she hopes he will become. Now, ladies, You should take
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  Speaker 1: note of this. This will work on us even when
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  Speaker 1: we know what you're up to. It just works. You know, honey,
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  Speaker 1: you are so patient with the kids. I am. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: you are so. It's like a Jedi mind trick. You
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  Speaker 1: are so patient with our son and with our daughter. Honey,
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  Speaker 1: you are such a good planner. I can't wait to
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  Speaker 1: see what you've planned for my birthday. You're such, such
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  Speaker 1: a good planner. It's like, I am, you know? Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: here's what she does. It's so powerful. She fell at
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  Speaker 1: his feet and she said, pardon your servant, my Lord,
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  Speaker 1: and let me speak to you. In other words, just
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  Speaker 1: give me a minute and please hear what your servant
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  Speaker 1: has to say. Please, she says, pay no attention to
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  Speaker 1: my husband, my Lord, that wicked man Nabal. He is
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  Speaker 1: just like his name. His name means fool and folly
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  Speaker 1: goes with him. So you're not wrong about my husband, okay?
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  Speaker 1: And as for me, your servant. I wasn't there when
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  Speaker 1: your 10 men showed up and made the request. If
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  Speaker 1: I'd been there, I may have been able to influence
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  Speaker 1: my husband. I wasn't there. This wasn't my fault. Referring
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  Speaker 1: to the 10 men that David had sent ahead of time.
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  Speaker 1: Then here she goes, this is so powerful. Here's what
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  Speaker 1: she says. And now, and now my Lord, as surely
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  Speaker 1: as the Lord your God lives and as you live,
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  Speaker 1: since the Lord since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: since the Lord has kept you from avenging yourself with
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: your own hands. And David's like, he did? She's like, yes,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: he did, he did. In other words, David, you're not,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: come on, you're not the type of person that would
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: avenge yourself on a defenseless person, are you? Well, I
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: guess I'm not. And then she gives him credit again
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: for being even better than he was about to be.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: She continues. And let this gift which your servant has
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: brought to my Lord be given to the men who
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: follow you. Again, this just completely ruins his plans. I mean,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: how do you justify slaughter and pillage when somebody is
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: bringing you what you were gonna steal? The Lord's your God.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: The Lord's your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: for my Lord because you fight the Lord's battles. He's like,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: I do? Yes, you do. You fight the Lord's battles.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: You don't have to fight your own battles, David. And
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: no wrongdoing, and no wrongdoing will be found in you
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: as long as you live. It won't? No, it won't.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Even though, and then she refers to King Saul, because
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: everybody knew the story. Everybody knew the background of why
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: David was a fugitive. Even though someone is pursuing you
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: to take your life, the life of my Lord will be,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: this uses some interesting Hebrew imagery. The life of my
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: living by the Lord your God, which is like, what?
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Here's basically what she's saying. Even though someone is trying
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: to steal your life, your life, your life is tucked
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: away securely and safely in God's wallet. Your life is
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: hidden in the bottom of a lady's large purse. It's safe.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: No one will ever be able to find it. Then,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: this is my favorite part. Then she takes him back
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: to 15 year old David, his 15-year-old self, when he
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: faced Goliath. In fact, perhaps as we talked about last time,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: David's sword was Goliath's sword. He had actually taken it
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: from a priest earlier, just a few chapters earlier. Perhaps
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: she saw Goliath's sword strapped to his back or strapped
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: across the back of his mule. Maybe that's what gave
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: her this idea. Here's what she says. But the lives,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: this is so great, but the lives of your enemies, he, God,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: will hurl away is from the pocket David, remember, remember
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: God's past faithfulness. Remember when you marched down into or
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: walked down into the Valley of Elah to face Goliath,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: you weren't a warrior. You weren't equipped for battle. You
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: didn't have a sword. You just did what you felt
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: like God wanted you to do. And do you remember
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: how God came to your rescue? Do you remember how
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: God defended you? Remember those days. David, you don't need
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: to get even. You have no need to return evil
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: for evil for the Lord, your God is with you.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: And then she speaks to his future. And essentially she
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: asked the question that we ask all the time around here.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: She asked the question without asking it directly. Essentially this
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: next part, she says, David, what story do you want
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: to tell when this is nothing but a story that
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: you tell? Years from now, when you're looking back on
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: this season of your life as a fugitive, because one
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: day you're going to be the king, God's going to
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: keep his promise to you. But when you look back
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: on the season, what story do you want to tell?
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Here's her version. When the Lord has fulfilled for my Lord,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: him ruler or king over Israel. My Lord, this is
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: so great. My Lord will not have on his conscience
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. David,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: isn't this the better story? Don't you wanna look back
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: on this season and realize that you stepped back instead
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: of taking matters into your own hand? And of course,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: David comes to his senses. He's about to act like
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: somebody he doesn't even like. And David said to Abigail,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: has sent you today to meet me. May you be
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: blessed for your good judgment. In other words, you had
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: good judgment, I didn't. I'm thanking God for your good
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: judgment and I'm so grateful it intersected with the decision
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: I was about to make for keeping me from bloodshed
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: this day and from avenging myself with my own hands.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: I have heard your words and I'm granting you your request. Now,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: at some point, We all need an Abigail in our lives,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: don't we? We all need somebody who can talk us down.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: We all need somebody who has access to us. We
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: all need somebody who feels permission to delve into those
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: areas of our lives that we oftentimes just keep people
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: away from. We all need an Abigail. And when she
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: shows up or when he shows up in our lives,
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: we should be wise enough to listen. In fact, some
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: of us, if we're honest, One of our greatest regrets
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: could have been avoided if we had listened to the
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Abigail in our life. Somebody did say something, maybe a parent,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: maybe a friend, maybe somebody you work with, somebody you date,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: they did say something, but you just wouldn't listen. We
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: need to listen to those people who speak to our
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: preferred future, who remind us that what we want immediately
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: sometimes isn't gonna get in the way of what we
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: want ultimately, that what feels right right now may haunt
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: us later. And then, and I was tempted to skip
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: the rest of the story because it's a little bit storybook,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: but hey, this is how the story ends and this
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: is how things went down back then when Abigail, Went
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: like that of a king, because he's got all this
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: extra wealth, all this extra. He was in high spirits,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: he's so happy, and very drunk. And so she told
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: him nothing at all until daybreak. So she doesn't go
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: back and say, you really owe me big time, because
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: she just waits. Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: his wife told him everything that had happened. And his
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: heart failed him when he realized how close he came
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: to being executed and losing everything he had. And he
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: became like a stone. And then about 10 days later,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: the Lord struck Nabal and he died. And then the
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: storybook ending. Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: to become his wife. It's like, really? Yeah, this is
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: just how things happened back then. And what do you
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: think she did? Abigail quickly got on a donkey and
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: and attended by her five female servants, went with David's
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: messengers and became his wife. And of course, they lived
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: happily ever after. The end. So, yeah, I made that
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: part up. Okay, so here's what we have. And this
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: is where this begins to interface with all of our lives,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: either now or in the future. Three characters, three different responses,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: but only one hero. Nabal, David, and Abigail, evil for good,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Evil for evil, this is where we're tempted to live.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: And then good for evil. As we said last time,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: as you get to know Nabal, he's pretty much maniacal.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: David is predictable in this circumstance. And Abigail is remarkable.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And these are our choices, really. And if you're not
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: a Jesus follower, you get to choose. And hopefully you
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: will lean more in one direction than the other, but
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: it's up to you. You're the captain of your own ship.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: But If you're a Jesus follower, for those of us who,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: not just Christians, not those of us who just say
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: we believe stuff, for those of us who wake up
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: every day and say to our heavenly father, I wanna
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: surrender my eyes, my ears, my will, my life, my resources,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: to the best of my ability, I wanna follow you.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: We're really only left with one option. And that's remarkable.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: And the reason it's our only option is twofold. Number one,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: we've been on the receiving end of remarkable, and we
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: have been called to model it. We don't call our
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: remarkable Abigail, amazing Abigail. We call ours amazing what? Amazing grace.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: That while we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: And then Jesus who died for our sins says, now
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I want you to not just believe in me or
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: believe things about me. I want you to get up
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: every single day and follow me. To which you may
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: be tempted to say, well, what does that look like?
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: And Jesus would smile and say, well, you should know
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: by now. If you're gonna follow me, it means you
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: emulate me, which means I want you to love your enemies,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: to which we say, you mean tolerate and ignore. He says, no,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I mean love, love as in, and here's his words,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: his words. I want you to do good, not just
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: ignore and not just not be unkind. I want you
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: to do good to those who hate you. So would
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: you say, I thought I was doing good just not
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: to hurt him, hurt her, or let the air out
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: of his tires or slit the air mattress and put
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: all of his clothes out on the street and change
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: the locks. I mean, I thought I was already doing
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: good because of what I hadn't done. Jesus says, no,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: that's not what I'm talking about. And I want you
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: to bless those. I want you to bless those who
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: curse you. And I want you to pray for those
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: who mistreat you. Does anybody do this? To pray for the,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: if we're honest, we would say, I don't even spend
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of time praying for the people who treat
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: me well. And Jesus says, I want you to pray
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: for those who mistreat you. I want you to pray
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: for the mean people. I don't want you to do
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: something to them. I want you to do something for
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: them because that's how you keep from becoming like them.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: But there's a bonus. Jesus says, when you do to
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: them and for them what they don't deserve for you
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: to do, and when you pray for them and when
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: you do good to them, you actually become like your
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: father in heaven because he is also kind to the
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: ungrateful and the wicked. So got some mean people in
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: your life? Parents, do your children... have some mean people
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: in their lives. And because your children have mean people
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: in their lives, you know, if anybody mistreats my kids,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: it's like they're mistreating me. And how have you responded?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: And what would it look like? You don't have to
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: do it. And what would it look like for your children?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: They don't have to do it either. But what would
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: it look like in your circumstances to actually do good
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: to those who hate you? What would it look like
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: to return good for evil? As things continued to escalate
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: with Roger, he threatened to sue our real estate agent.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, it just got completely out of control. About
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: six days before closing, the closing that we weren't sure
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: was gonna happen because he wasn't about to move out.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: And of course, you're not gonna close on a house
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: with somebody living in it. I mean, it was just
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: so weird. I walk into the kitchen and Sandra had
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: been baking and she had cookie sheets out with muffins
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: out that were cooling. And then there was a paper
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: plate with six muffins with some cellophane over it. And
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: clearly she was gonna take these muffins to somebody, which
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: she does all the time. And I said, who are
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: these for? And she looked at me and smiled and
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: she said, they're for Roger. And I'm like, what? She said, therefore, Roger,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: a little backstory, during the garage sale that Roger actually
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: helped us with, he actually bought things from Sweet Alice
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: and then said we were throwing her out of her house.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: It's just crazy. Anyway, during the garage sale, Sandra took
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: two different kinds of muffins and he loved one particular kind.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: So she got up that morning and made his favorite
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: muffins and was gonna go over there and take, I'm
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: just like, darling, really? And here's what she said. She said,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: I have to do this for me. I have to
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: do this for me. I have to do something for him.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: I have to do something for him. And this is
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: the best thing I could come up with. So she
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: went out in the garage, got on her donkey and
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: rode to Lawrenceville. Now her plan was to get there
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: and leave the muffins on his car and then text
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: him and say, hey, Roger, you know, he was outside.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: They had a very awkward conversation. She left the muffins,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: didn't make a dent. Sandra, she would tell you, she
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: was free. And then four days before the closing was
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: to take place, place, after again, all kinds of just
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: crazy stuff, he finally took his stuff and he left.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: But here's the point for all of us. Let's not
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: write a predictable story. Let's Let's not write an evil
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: for evil story. It's so predictable. It's what everybody expects
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: you to do. It's what you're justified. Your friends would say, well,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: of course that's what you did. This is our moment.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: This is our opportunity. The meaner they are, the meaner
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: they are, the brighter our light has an opportunity to shine.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: And I know that because I don't know your circumstances.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I know that's so easy for me to stand up
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: here and say, but I'm not asking you to follow me.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to inspire you and encourage you to
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: follow our savior and to write a remarkable story, to
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: do for others precisely what they don't deserve for you
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: to do. And it may not, in fact, it probably
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: won't change anything in them, but it will do something
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: for you. And in doing so, you will be like
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: your father, In heaven.