Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 270 - Words matter

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 270 - Words matter · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good Morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
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  a Mastermindset coach, creative strategist.
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  And also happened to be a farmer.
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  This is my chicken coop and I come out here.
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  Every day to record a podcast. To teach distinctions,
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  possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring some
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  joy into the world. So welcome to the coop and let's
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  start your day off in a fantastic way.
• 0:27
  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Last night I was able to hang out and just chill out and
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  relax. My family wanted to go see a
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  horror movie, and that's not me. So I love to watch movies I've
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  already seen a lot of the times just because I want to go back
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  and see if my perspective has changed.
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  So I was flicking through HBO and all of a sudden the movie
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  He's Just Not That Into You popped up.
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  Now that when this came out, I probably watched it not all at
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  once. It's like just in little chunks
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  here and there and never sat down and just watched the whole
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  thing. So I was like, OK, I'm going to
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  sit down and watch this movie. And lo and behold, I love when
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  little things pop out and are just like, wow, that was a
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  statement. And in the very, very first
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  scenes of this movie, which would be very easy to miss and
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  to take forward with you, there's a whole explanation
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  about how little boys who are mean to girls are doing that
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  because they like them and they just come and they're mean.
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  And then an older girl says to them or their mom or their
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  grandma or their friends say, oh, he's not doing that because
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  of that. He's doing it because he likes
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  you. He told me I smelled like poop.
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  Like that was the whole thing in the beginning.
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  He told her she smelled like poop and be along with another
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  litany of awful things he said. But he said she smelled like
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  poop. And she's crying and she's, you
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  know, her front teeth are out and she's sitting on the ground
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  because he, I think he shoved her actually.
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  And he's, he's saying all these horrible things and she goes to
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  her mom and starts talking to her mom.
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  And her mom is like, oh, sweetie, he's doing that because
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  he likes you. And then all of a sudden her
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  whole demeanor changes and she's like, what?
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  And then she like feels better. And because of that statement,
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  this whole little girl's world, meaning most girls walking the
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  planet believe that when we were little, boys did mean things to
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  us. And it was because they liked us
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  and they didn't know how to express themselves.
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  And I'm going to call bullshit on this because here's the
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  thing. And it's so incredibly important
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  to remember this, that moment that someone did that and said
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  that is the moment in order to make someone feel better, that
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  you and you put something in someone's head and it's and it
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  shapes how they're going to make choices moving forward.
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  Now, I never did those things to my daughter or to my son.
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  If something happened, I was like, that tells you a lot about
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  the person, where they are. I didn't make it about them
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  being bad people. I just said it shows you where
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  they are. It doesn't mean that they're bad
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  people or whatever. It's just not what you want in
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  your world. I never made excuses for it.
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  And I'm very proud of that. Now.
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  I'm sure in my world that was done to me.
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  And I think back and I'm like, I don't have memories, hard
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  memories of it, but I do have that belief that, oh, they can
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  get over it and you can fix everything.
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  And I think it's really important, really important to
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  remember when we use our words and when we give people ideas,
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  they are taking those ideas into themselves and they're making
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  that a neuro pathway that's going to lead them in a
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  direction someday. So if you followed the movie and
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  you ever went through it and you've never seen it, it's a
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  good movie. But if if you follow the
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  pathway, she has to relearn what's really being told to her
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  and believe what's being put in front of her in order for her to
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  move forward in her world. And it, it's so ironic about how
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  many times this shows up and not just in personal relationships,
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  but across the board at work and all these other things that show
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  up. I mean, I coached somebody
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  recently who and this happens all the time.
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  This was just the one that happened on Friday about
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  somebody being a bully at work and how to handle it.
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  And it's like, no, you don't take it.
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  You've you find a graceful way to handle it that makes you feel
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  comfortable. And are there myriads of ways to
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  handle things like this? Yes, But you have to find the
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  way that's right for you from the honest perspective of yeah,
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  this person's just a Jackass and this is what they want to be
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  right now. And if that's what they're going
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  to be, this is what you have to do.
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  And it doesn't mean you compromise yourself.
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  I will never compromise myself on kindness.
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  I will never compromise myself on how I show up.
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  But I can put my foot down and I can change the approach of
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  things. And I think it's so important to
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  remember when you are talking to yourself, when you are talking
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  to others, you must make sure your jumping off point is the
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  correct one and that you have the correct information to start
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  with. Otherwise you will be doing the
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  same thing that this poor girl in the movie did and trying to
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  believe something that will never take place.
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  So make sure that your jumping off point is correct.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I
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  will see you tomorrow. Bye.