Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 88 - The Liberation Episode: What Homeschool Moms Truly Don’t Care About Anymore

Transcript

Ep. 88 - The Liberation Episode: What Homeschool Moms Truly Don’t Care About Anymore · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: Okay, homeschool moms. Let's get real for a second. Today's episode, it's a little snarky, it's a little spicy, and a whole lot of fun. Will I regret it later? Maybe.
• 0:10
  But, hey, we're here to live, laugh, and learn. Right? So here's the scoop. Today, we're talking about five things homeschool moms just do not care about. I decided to do this episode after I made a video that popped on social media where I joked about opening a homeschool mom's chapter of the We Do Not Care Club.
• 0:31
  I'll link that video in the show notes so you can see what all the fuss is about. But you guys cracked me up in the comments telling me all the things you, as a homeschool mom, do not care about. Now if you're not familiar with the We Do Not Care Club, let me catch you up. It's this brilliant movement started by this woman named Melanie Sanders on TikTok. She's all about women in perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause ditching the pressure to care about things that just don't matter, like arm fat, matching socks, or whether or not yoga pants will ever actually see the yoga mat.
• 1:09
  Her videos are funny. They are freeing, and it's exactly the kind of energy we need in the homeschool world. Because let's be honest, between lesson plans, chore charts, snack requests, and the occasional existential crisis, we do not have time to care about what the peanut gallery thinks. Nope. Not today, Satan.
• 1:29
  But here's the twist. This show today isn't just about getting a good laugh. I think the reason why videos like this hit home is because homeschooling comes with a major mindset shift. Such a shift that there's even a fancy word for it, deschooling, which by the way, I do dive into in my book Homeschool Rising. I have a little chapter on it.
• 1:49
  So grab that laundry, your secret chocolate stash that I know you have, and maybe hide in the closet for a bit because let's go over things that we as homeschool moms just do not have time to care about. Hello. Welcome to the show. Before we get into the goods, one thing I know is that a lot of you could use more cash each month. Raise your hand.
• 2:23
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• 2:40
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• 2:57
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• 3:16
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• 3:21
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• 3:32
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• 3:48
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• 4:05
  Okay. Let's have some fun. So the We Do Not Care Club is a movement about people that try to tell us what to do or naysayers about our life choices. And so the We Do Not Care Club is kind of like homeschool moms clapping back with the comments that we hear about things we don't care about. The first one today, I did mention in that video, and this is what I said in the video.
• 4:29
  I said, we do not care that your kids go to a good school or a charter school. It is a school, and we don't want it. Here's the thing. When we say we homeschool, some people feel the need to explain to us why they don't. Oh, but my kids go to a really good charter school.
• 4:47
  Or, oh, the school we're at is amazing. It has small class sizes and a STEM program. Listen. That's fine and good for you, but let's be clear. This isn't a comparison.
• 4:59
  A school versus homeschool is not apples to apples. It's not even apples to oranges. It's apples to, I don't know, a completely different planet. Because here's the thing, homeschooling isn't about finding a better version of school. It's about rejecting the entire premise of school.
• 5:18
  We don't accept school as the default option for childhood. It's about saying we don't need the bells, the tests, the grades, or the system. So while we're happy for you and your own choices and your amazing charter school, We're over here doing something completely different. We're building an education that fits our kids, not forcing our kids to fit into an education. As John Holt said, what is most important and valuable about the home as a base for children's growth into the world is not that it is a better school than the schools, but that it isn't a school at all.
• 5:55
  And that's why we don't care how good your school is. We're not doing school. The next thing that we do not care about is that our kids are weird. We don't care that you think our kids are weird. We love it.
• 6:08
  It's kind of the point. So please don't come to us with all of your socialization jargon. We just don't care. So let's just get this out of the way. Can homeschool kids present differently?
• 6:21
  Yes. Can they be quirky? Are they unique? And do they not always fit into the neat little boxes that society has created for typical kids? Yes.
• 6:31
  But here's the red pill, you guys. Those boxes, they're suffocating. They're not designed to help kids thrive. They're designed to make kids easier to manage. They teach kids that fitting in is more important than being themselves.
• 6:46
  Wear the right shoes. Say the right things. Don't stand out. Don't make waves. Here's the danger.
• 6:52
  When kids are taught either explicitly in school or implicitly in their social circles that the most important thing is to fit in or else, they lose their courage to be different, and they start to believe that who they are isn't enough. Sadly, I know many kids in public schools today that really have the choice between fitting in or social suicide. Let me know in the comments if that was you growing up. We just had an experience with a kiddo on our football team, and this was what he was facing. He stood up for something that was right at school, chose to not fit in and go with the crowd, and he got bullied for it for the rest of the year.
• 7:33
  See, fitting in doesn't build confidence. It actually erodes it. It teaches kids to hide their quirks, to silence their ideas, and to trade authenticity for approval. And that's not just sad. That's dangerous.
• 7:47
  That's damaging. The world doesn't need more people who know how to blend in. It needs people who know how to stand out, to speak up, and to unapologetically be themselves. And that's what we're doing over here in homeschool world with our kids. So when people come at you with the tired old, but what about socialization argument or say that, oh, I can spot a homeschooler a mile away.
• 8:12
  Guess what? I can too, and I can also spot a public school kid a mile away. And news flash, that's one of the reasons why we homeschool. Socialization? You mean the kind where kids are crammed into a room with 30 other kids their exact same age and told to sit down, be quiet, conform, and raise your hand if you need to go to the bathroom?
• 8:34
  No. Thanks. Our kids are out in the real world with us, engaging with people of all ages, learning how to hold meaningful conversations, have eye contact, and build relationships based on who they are, not where they happen to live. They're not confined by artificial bubbles of same age peers, whether they have the most recent iPhone or the right shoes. They're free to connect with others over shared passions, not shared ZIP codes.
• 9:02
  And that that's real socialization, the kind that actually prepares kids for life, not just fitting in to a system. So, yes, if homeschooling makes our kids weird, I'm here for it. They're gloriously, unapologetically weird because what you see as a flaw, I see as a flex. Okay. Okay.
• 9:22
  So I need to take a breath because when you get me started on socialization, I will go nuts. By the way, if you need more on this, I have an entire chapter on socialization in my book, Homeschool Rising. You can get it on Amazon Prime. Alright. So I'm just getting warmed up.
• 9:37
  Oh, I got more for you. Yes, I do. And we'll get into it right after this. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest.
• 10:00
  It's a challenge. Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine, and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have?
• 10:27
  BGU Press Homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age family together on the couch learning style. They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that's been a game changer for our homeschool.
• 10:59
  At our center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. As a career educator with high standards, finding the right program that checked all the boxes felt like too tall of an order. Until one day, I tried CTC Math. CTC Math is an online math curriculum for k to 12 students with motivating interactive lessons that allow kids to learn at their own pace. It does all the teaching and grading so you don't have to, and their adaptive lessons adjust so your child is progressing confidently.
• 11:31
  With CTC Math, your child is getting a top notch education, and you just made your homeschool life easier. Visit ctcmath.com to start your free trial today or click the link in the show notes. Welcome back. Here's the third thing that we do not care about. We do not care that you think we are indoctrinating our kids.
• 11:52
  Here's the problem with that argument. You think your worldview is neutral. It's not. No one's is actually. Not even mine.
• 12:00
  Did you know that the public school system has a worldview? It does. It's secular humanism. So while you're pointing fingers at us for indoctrinating our kids, I wanna be very clear. The public school system is doing the exact same thing.
• 12:15
  The difference, though, is that I am intellectually honest about it. Not a single person on this planet has a neutral worldview. We all see the world through our lens of beliefs, values, and experiences. And guess what? We all have to educate our kids, And the laws of our land, thank goodness, still give us the right to raise our children in our faith and according to our values if we so choose.
• 12:42
  And it gives you the same right. So I don't need to apologize that I'm not outsourcing my kids' worldview to a system that pretends to be neutral while pushing its agenda. I'm teaching my kids to think critically, to question everything, including me, and to build a worldview that's rooted in truth, not in convenience. And I'm certainly not pushing them to conform. That's not indoctrination.
• 13:07
  That's parenting. I once had a commenter say, well, homeschooling's okay as long as you don't make them read the Bible. And the pride behind that comment and the blindness to their own biases, it was just startling to me. People really do think that the public school system is neutral. It's crazy.
• 13:26
  Secular humanism is not neutral. Okay. On to the next. Now I love this one because this is so deschool y. Right?
• 13:33
  We do not care about educational standards. And if you're listening, you can't see my air quotes right now. This really gets to people. Oh, the horror. We're not following the state's standards and their curriculum.
• 13:48
  No. We're not. We're not obsessing over standardized tests. We don't care. Why?
• 13:54
  Well, because the educational standards are relics of the industrial revolution. They were never designed to help kids thrive. They were designed to create factory workers, workers that would never question the state, obedient, compliant, and easy to replace. The more people got to thinking for themselves, the more inconvenient it was. And the people that created our industrialized school system, they made no apologies about this.
• 14:21
  But whatever their intentions were at the time, here's the problem. That world is gone. The system hasn't really changed, and it's still preparing kids for a life of punching clocks and following orders, while the real world today demands creativity, adaptability, independent thinking, and even entrepreneurial skills. So we're not interested in whether our kids are grade level according to some arbitrary chart and know a bunch of facts and can rattle them off, which you and I both know, we just forget it all anyway. What do you remember from third grade science?
• 14:55
  No. We're interested in whether our kids are learning how to solve problems, how to think for themselves, and how to adapt to a world that's constantly changing. We're asking ourselves, do our kids have the skills to thrive later on? And let's be honest, who even decides what the standard even is? Who decides what's worth learning and what's not?
• 15:17
  Because I've seen what passes for a curriculum these days, and let's just say it's not exactly inspiring. Whether or not our kids are getting a good education or not or are good kids or good students does not depend on if they can fill bubbles in on an answer sheet or what grade they get on Friday's test. We're here to raise kids who can think, create, and lead. And to do that, our homeschools need to look a whole heck of a lot different than the industrialized school system. So, no, we don't care about your educational standards.
• 15:51
  We're too busy over here building an education that actually prepares our kids for their future, not a past that no longer exists. Before we move on, I wanna pause for a second and share something with you that's a bit behind the scenes and transparent. So if you don't mind, I'm gonna pull back the curtain for a second here on the show. This show, the one you're listening to right now. If you've been nodding along saying pop off girl throughout the episode or wishing your mother-in-law was hearing this, or you're maybe thinking of a friend who needs to hear this because she's feeling insecure in her homeschooling right now, Would you take ten seconds of your time right now to make a comment, share, subscribe to the show, or even give me all those five stars if I deserve it?
• 16:32
  I'm asking directly because this show is free to you, and I love that, and I don't gatekeep anything. But the show is sponsored. That's how I'm able to invest so much into you guys. And what a lot of people don't realize is it's little robots behind the screen, those algorithms that decide whether or not a show gets seen and pushed out to the masses. Those little robots look at things like comments, reviews, and subscriptions to decide if this content is worth sharing, if it's valuable.
• 17:03
  That's why your engagement matters so much. And here's the best part. It's something that you can do right now while I'm talking. It takes less than ten seconds. It costs you no money at all.
• 17:14
  All you need to do is leave a comment, ask me a question, give me the stars, or hit subscribe. It really truly makes a massive difference. And when you do that little thing that you could do just while you're listening, you're not just helping the show and me. Thank you, by the way. I really appreciate it.
• 17:29
  But you are becoming part of our mission to help parents find the clarity and confidence they need that they've been waiting to hear to bring their kids home. And a bonus is we read every comment. If you ask a question, there's a good chance that I'll answer it directly in a future episode. So ask away. And selfishly, I love your comments because it helps me connect with you and address the topics that you care most about.
• 17:54
  So thank you in advance, or maybe you just did it right now for being the reason another mom finds her way forward. Okay. Coming up next, I've saved the best for last. We're gonna dive into the final point of the day, and I'm starting a new thing where I'm sharing an inspirational quote of the week. And I also have a free gift just for you, so hang tight.
• 18:15
  Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, math? If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles. You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers. You guys, I want you to know about LearningRx, a proven program designed to help your child's cognitive skills, enabling them to think faster, learn more easily, and perform at their best. I'm talking getting real long term help here with things like ADHD and dyslexia.
• 18:47
  LearningRx is backed by thirty five years of research, and their results are transformative. Use code HOME 50 for $50 off your cognitive skills assessment. Go to learningrx.com or click the link in the show notes. Welcome back. We are here for the grand finale.
• 19:03
  By the way, I'm so curious what you've been thinking throughout the show. On that Reel I made just on that Instagram, I had hundreds of comments. I wanna know what do you not care about? What did I miss today? Maybe I'll make a video on it, I'll tag you.
• 19:18
  Wouldn't that be fun? Put in the comments, we do not care, and then a colon or something, and then tell me what you don't care about. I could use a good laugh anyway. Okay. Our final moment before our quote of the week.
• 19:29
  Here is what we do not care about. We do not care that our homeschooled kids will not get to experience the same thing as your public or private school kids get to experience. There's something here that people just really don't get. You think our kids are missing out? We think your kids are missing out.
• 19:48
  And in my opinion, this is rooted in what we know about how kids thrive. Psychologists have shown that children learn best when they're intrinsically motivated, when they're driven by curiosity, passion, and a genuine desire to explore the world. But in the compulsory school system, so much of that natural motivation gets undermined by external pressures, grades, tests, and rigid schedules. We're sad that your kids don't get the freedom to pursue their unique interests, to follow their curiosity wherever it leads, and to learn for the sheer joy of it without the pressures. And it doesn't mean that we're not rigorous or not giving our kids a solid education.
• 20:30
  My kid's on his fifth year of Latin for crying out loud. We know you value that activities that your kids are involved in, whether it's sports, band, theater, or academic clubs, and that's great. But please allow us to value different ones. Just because something is more typical doesn't mean that it's better. For us, extracurriculars might look like spending hours in the garden to learn about biology, volunteering at a local shelter to develop empathy and responsibility, or diving deep into a creative project that lights up our kids' imagination.
• 21:01
  It might look like hiking a mountain on a Tuesday morning, building a robot in the garage, or learning to bake bread from scratch. And yes, we do all the typical ones too, basketball, scouts, all those other things. But we also like to choose extracurriculars that align with our family's priorities and our kids' unique interests, and we have the freedom and time to do that for our kids. We're sad that your kids might not get the chance to explore these kinds of experiences because their schedules are so packed with activities that they didn't really choose or may not even love. Now, know this isn't the case for everybody, but you know the point I'm making here.
• 21:35
  We're sad that you might not see the value in the things that we prioritize for our kids. And I'm not saying this to judge anybody. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or raise your kids. But while you're busy judging us for the way we've chosen to educate and raise our children, we're over here feeling sorry that your kids are missing out on so much. So let's just keep it real.
• 21:56
  This isn't about who's right or wrong. It's about appreciating and giving people the space to have different needs, different values, and a different vision for your kid's future. A friend of mine once told me a story that perfectly illustrates how small minded people can be. Jan, my friend, found out that two teachers at the local school were gossiping about her family, specifically her daughter, Emily. The gossip that these two teachers, they were high school teachers, were saying in the hallway was they were sharing how sorry they felt for Emily.
• 22:28
  They said, oh, if she only went to the local academy, she could have been a cheerleader. It's such a shame that her parents are depriving her of that. What they didn't know was that Emily was traveling the country competing in horse shows. She won multiple competitions, went to the Dixie National every year, and even competed at the Quarter Horse Congress in Ohio twice. Later, she and her brother competed in national speech and debate tournaments traveling to places like California, Florida, and Tennessee.
• 22:59
  But to those two teachers, Emily was missing out because she wasn't a cheerleader. Crazy. It's time now for the quote of the week. Now some people attribute this to CS Lewis, but it's really foggy the more I research about this quote. So I'm just gonna say unknown, and here's the quote.
• 23:17
  When the whole world is running toward a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind. This quote is the heartbeat of the we do not care club homeschool mom chapter. It's a reminder that choosing a different path, one that aligns with your values, your vision, and your heart can feel lonely and even isolating. The world may look at you and call you crazy, but what if running in the opposite direction is the bravest, wisest thing that you could do? Parenting, homeschooling, and living authentically often means standing firm while others rush towards what's popular or expected.
• 23:57
  It's not easy to go against the grain, but it's in those moments of resistance that we find our strength. We're not running away. We're running towards something better, a life of purpose, intention, and truth. So if you ever feel like the odd one out, take heart. You're not alone.
• 24:14
  Listen to me every week if you have to. You're part of a movement of people who dare to live differently, who dare to see the cliff for what it is, and choose another way. If this quote resonated with you, I'd love to send you completely for free, a beautifully designed note card featuring it. Perfect for your mirror, your car dashboard, or anywhere that you will see it often when you need a little boost. It's my gift to remind you that you are not homeschooling solo, and as a thank you for engaging in the show, whether it's by liking it, leaving a review, giving it the stars, only if you think it deserves it, of course, or commenting with a statement or a question, or all of the above.
• 24:56
  You'll find the link to download this beautiful ready to print note card in the show notes. Just print it, cut it out, and let it encourage you, friend. And if you want me to see it, tag me on social media. We see everything, and we read every comment. And we want you to know that you are part of a community here in Christy-Faith land.
• 25:15
  And because the learning never stops and we always wanna keep growing, I am putting in the show notes three follow-up shows to listen to if you want some deeper dives on the topics that we discussed today. You don't have to hunt for them. I'm just gonna put them right in the show notes. One of them is episode 71, does homeschooling shelter your kids too much? Episode 66, the biggest myths about homeschool socialization, and episode 61, are schools killing a love for learning?
• 25:43
  Yes. They are, But you need to know why. Thanks for listening today. There's a lot more where this came from. If you don't wanna miss an episode, make sure to get on my email list too because when an episode drops, we email everybody.
• 25:54
  I'll see you next week.