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Leveraging Authentic Professional Relationships with Networking Expert, Andy Lopata · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we conscious conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Durgesh.
• 0:36
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:36
  It's Roxanne.
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  Thanks for tuning in again.
• 0:38
  Today, I have a colleague, Andy La Puata, and Andy's all the way in London.
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  And, what's a weather like today in London?
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  It's this blue skies.
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  It's cold.
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  You know, it's about 6 degrees in our currency.
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  But so so not icy yet, but, there was ice on my car the other day, but it's it's actually it's
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  been up and down, but it's been nice today.
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  But we'll take your weather over what we get, where I am in Niagara Falls.
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  We get us sometimes we can get down as far as, minus 20 So, you're you're icy.
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  We we we would grind to a halt.
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  We'd run to a halt and get to minus 1.
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  Yeah.
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  And we would say, oh, wow.
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  Look at them.
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  Right?
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  Yeah.
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  So, I've invited Andy on today because, Andy has, been a keynote speaker now we're going
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  upwards of how long, Andy, that you've been Well,
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  I joined the Professional Speaking Association in 2003.
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  Okay.
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  So around 20 years, probably about 18 to 20 years in total.
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  So Andy's, kind of, forte is he's, he's tackling building nurturing and leveraging
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  professional relationships.
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  And we're gonna talk a little bit about he initially started off his career focusing a lot
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  on networking, but now he's pivoting into more about vulnerable leadership, which as everyone
• 1:56
  that listens to my podcast knows that I talk about authenticity and authentic, leadership.
• 2:02
  So, Eddie, kind of tell tell me kind of I know you went to school with Michael, And, so
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  Michael is a dear dear friend, and that's how I met Adi, by Michael.
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  And, So you went to business school.
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  Did you do economics?
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  What did you do in school?
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  No.
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  Well, actually, Mike and I, we we went to different schools, but we met in the which is
• 2:22
  everybody.
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  Have a great good most of your learning.
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  After so that was in my, what we call in the UK out of 6th, 4 years.
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  Couple of years of of, I guess, what you'd call high school.
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  And then, yeah, Mike Mike went off to LSE London School of Economics, I went to the
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  University of Birmingham and studied politics.
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  Oh, wow.
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  I was originally going to, to study accountancy.
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  And then I did 2 summers working as an office junior and accountancy firm.
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  And I looked around, and I I thought, well, I'm bored because I'm the office junior, and I
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  looked at what the partner doing.
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  I mean, this isn't for me.
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  They were doing the same thing.
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  And
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  Wow.
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  You
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  know, you know, what the
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  what the pivots?
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  Like, I mean, compared to what you do now
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  Yes.
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  Yes.
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  I have a lot of accounts to see firms as clients.
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  So, you know, I would be very careful not to criticize the profession just to say that's not
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  me.
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  But, yeah, I I I just back then, you could go to university, study anything and get any job
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  pretty much unless it was a vocational degree needed.
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  By the time I left, you couldn't get any job, whatever degree you had.
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  But I just decided to go and study what I was interested in, and just enjoy.
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  And and to be honest, I wasn't the right type of candidate for a universe.
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  You know, I I wasn't an academic.
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  I it had its benefits to me, but I was a good argument for not everyone needs to go to
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  university.
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  So let's talk a little bit about, vulnerability because I I know that's, you know, when you
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  kinda go out and and in business, all of us, we're constantly talking to people when we're
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  having to go into new situations.
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  You're I know when I'm out and about sometimes, you know, not very often, but sometimes you
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  walk into an environment and you're like, I could, you know, you're like, you're in a room
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  full of people, but you might be kind of put back for a second where I have to start to
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  think, okay, you know, how am I gonna connect?
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  So I know you're an expert in this area.
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  So let's talk a little bit about that discomfort that most people have with kind of
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  concept of going out and networking for business.
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  Yeah.
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  I I think this is there's a number of different ways I could approach that.
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  And I think, actually, I'm gonna change what I was going to say as you were saying that and
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  just pick on the last thing you said and going out and networking for business because I think
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  that's part of the problem.
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  Yes.
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  Networking is a key tool in growing a business and developing a business.
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  And, you know, with a lot of networking events early in the morning or early evening, and
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  really encroaching into your own personal time, you have to have a commercial reason to do it.
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  But that once you understand that reason, once you're strategic about what you're you're
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  seeking and the type of, professional relationships you're seeking and and the right
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  networks to go to.
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  Once you're there, it's really important to put that full business to the back of your mind,
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  not out of your mind entirely, but to the back of your mind.
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  Go and network for relationships.
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  Go and find people you like.
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  You have a rapport with.
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  You've had something in common with.
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  It helps if they are also in a position support and help you, but you don't always know, at at
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  the very sort of the the top layer of what we've found out in those in that environment.
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  And if you consider to talk about that discomfort, think about that discomfort.
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  If you get into a conversation and the opening question is that classic network networking
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  opening, what do you do?
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  You you end up in a very uncomfortable stilted cardboard conversation unless you truly are
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  interested in what each other does, which isn't that often, to be honest, unless it's an
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  industry specific event.
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  Compare that to someone coming up and saying, oh, what brings you here?
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  How do you know the host?
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  What did you think of the speaker?
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  Something you share in common and just chatting.
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  And and I think there are a lot of ways I could answer your but I was just picking up on that
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  foot business at the end, and I think that's it's important that we are strategic in our
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  mindset in terms of the way we approach networking events and conferences and so forth.
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  But once we're there, that's that strategy needs to be in the back of our mind ready to
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  remind us why we're there, force us in terms of the right conversations, and recognize
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  opportunities, but at the same time, we need to drop that and be just ourselves.
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  You talk about authenticity.
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  You know, you're not authentic if you're putting on an act to try and win business.
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  You're authentic if you are yourself, and you're
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  encouraging to be the I like what you said about being strategic.
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  Like, obviously, your time is valuable.
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  And when you're growing your business, you're you obviously, you can't be everywhere and you
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  can't be everything to everyone So just kinda figuring out what areas you want to focus on.
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  And then, like you said, just going out and being yourself, just having conversations, And
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  you may and I've gone to events that I've spoken to one person, you know, and and then I
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  thought, oh, did I do this wrong?
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  Because part of me that says that, And then I realized, well, no.
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  I've I've kept those relationships.
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  I've had things that have come of it since, but I think initially when you're getting into
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  business, kinda like, am I, you know, quote unquote, am I doing it right?
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  I I think my whenever someone says to me something like that, I I only spoke to one
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  person all night, I would say was that intentionally, was it appropriate, or was it an
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  excuse?
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  If it's an excuse because you're comfortable once you're in that conversation and you don't
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  wanna get uncomfortable again, you need to be aware of that and you need to take action.
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  If it's intentional, I go to that networking event because I want to meet that one right
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  person.
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  If I click, I'm happy to spend time with them.
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  I would normally say 3 or 4 conversations depending on the length of the event, let's
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  assume 2 hours rather than just one.
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  Because I think there will be a level of it's an excuse in there as well if it's just one
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  person.
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  But if it's intentional or it's accidental, but leading the right way, you can justify that
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  commercially.
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  And and and the fact that you're staying in touch is key.
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  You're better off talking to one person and building a long term professional relationship
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  where you support each other than talking to 10 and never following up.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  And falling up is key also.
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  Yeah.
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  So what are some of the steps that you suggest?
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  Let's say you go out and you do a couple of these, you know, a per quarter or whatever.
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  Like, is it a note?
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  Is it a, you know, another phone call just to say I really enjoyed the time.
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  How how is it that you suggest?
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  And I'm sure every every contact is gonna be different.
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  What what what kind of approaches do you suggest?
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  You you create what I call touch points, and there are different ways, of finding touch
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  points.
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  The first step I I talk about the 7 stages of professional relationships.
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  And I the image I draw is of a series of concentric circles, like the side section of an
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  onion.
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  So the outer circle, other people you you you you just recognize.
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  So, you know, it starts with people you recognize, then people you know than like, then
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  trust and so forth.
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  And when you meet someone at an event, they'll come into the recognize.
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  But if you don't follow-up with them, if you don't engage with them within a few weeks,
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  they're out of the network completely again.
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  So your first job is to build a wall on that outer circle.
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  So once they're in, they don't go back out.
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  And the way you do that is by is a 3 stage follow-up process.
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  Notice 24, 7:30.
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  You follow-up within 24 hours.
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  Now some people say, doesn't that make you look a bit desperate?
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  To which I reply.
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  It's not dating.
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  You know, it's about striking while the eyes are popping.
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  Tina's reliable.
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  And really engaging people and continuing that conversation.
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  And to me, that's a short email.
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  Not, it was great meet you last night.
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  Here's my last 7 annual reports.
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  My last 30 corporate brochures, and and and so forth.
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  It's just great to meet you last night.
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  Repeat something that you said so people know it's personalized and not just a round robin to
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  everyone they met, and maybe a call to action that you've agreed in the conversation or
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  you're suggesting in that email.
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  The 7 is after 7 days.
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  And what I will normally do is I will make a note to connect with them on LinkedIn a week
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  later rather than in the moment, which most people do.
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  Now, obviously, if they connect with me on LinkedIn, I have to find a separate second
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  touch point, but if it's if if I'm in control, I hold it back.
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  And I personalize the LinkedIn connection request.
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  And, again, I put a call to action in there.
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  And most people don't actually read that note.
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  So if they just accept, I then send them a message on LinkedIn saying, thank you.
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  And a call to action can just be a question.
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  You're looking for a response.
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  You have a 2 way interact and then 30 days.
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  So 30 days in an ideal world by then you're meeting for a coffee.
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  You're catching up in person because that's when you take the relationship really through,
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  the levels, you know, you accelerate through the levels more quickly.
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  So my first step is to build a wall and 20 fourseven thirty does that.
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  Then you wanna take people through those levels.
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  And that's for a series of touch points.
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  So, you know, the the sort of things I've talked about a part of it with things like
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  using social media.
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  So like, comment and share what they post.
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  And if you like LinkedIn, but they're on Twitter, it doesn't matter what you'd like.
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  They're on Twitter.
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  So find out where they play and go and play there.
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  But engage with them proactively on LinkedIn, not stalking, you know, not sort of liking
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  everything they post irrespective of whether it's relevant.
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  Or liking a video within 30 seconds of them posting it even with a 4 minute video, make it
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  meaningful and comments and shares shares with reasons why you're sharing it are even more
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  impactful.
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  That way you stay insight in mind.
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  You're also you're also supporting the which they will they will appreciate.
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  Invite them to events.
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  There was when I first started going to events, London Chamber of Commerce, there was a guy
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  they called Mark, and what he used to do, you know, meet him at a networking event, and then
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  he'd invite you to another.
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  And the dynamic of the relationship shifted so quickly because when you met him at an event,
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  he was just one person in the crowd.
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  When he invited you to another one, even though you'd only chatted him briefly and he followed
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  up, He was the he was your anchor at that event because he might be the only person you know
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  you know there.
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  So that makes a huge difference.
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  I saw this and thought of you sending an article or a blog based on the conversation you
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  had.
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  Oh, I saw this, I thought of you.
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  Just giving them a referral, making a connection for them is huge.
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  So all of these things are touch points.
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  Obviously, the biggest touch point is helping them make a connection for them, introduce
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  them, give them a referral.
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  But, you know, some people find that easier for the numbers, particularly at an early stage of
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  a relationship, but there's all these different touch points that you can hit.
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  That that get you through that process from the outer circle towards the inner circle.
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  So I would assume, that you're using a CRM to to to achieve this goal, to so that because if
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  you go out and you're doing this, say, a certain amount of events after a while, to be
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  able to kinda keep track of this.
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  You would probably need those alerts to be able to.
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  And for those listening, I don't know, I mean, client management system, relationship, system,
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  where, you know, you get the alerts as you kind of come to your desk, there may be certain
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  things that would come up that say I have to call or touch base with four or five people
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  today, those types of things.
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  That makes so that makes so much sense, Annie, when you say it that way, because You know, and
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  I've been guilty of this.
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  You know, you go.
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  You you you know, you you chit chat a little bit and then you don't move it along.
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  And then you see the person again, and then it becomes kinda awkward because you think, oh,
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  why did I leave that?
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  You know?
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  And then and then it kinda feels like now it's contrived.
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  And now I have to try to kind of talk to them again.
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  So I like the points, like you said, like the the 20 fourseven and 30 30.
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  That's that's a nice flow.
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  Can I just add can I just add something in there?
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  And that is that when you get your network to a certain level, don't prioritize events because
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  unless those events mean you see the people that you already have a connection with, it
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  more efficiently.
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  And, effectively, because you might see half a dozen people at the same event, and that's your
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  focus.
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  If you're constantly topping up your network but you're not nurturing the relationships you
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  have within the network, you're spending a lot of energy for very little return.
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  So build the network, but then nurture the network.
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  I I mentored someone once, and I said, how much networking are you doing?
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  He said, I do four breakfast meetings a week two lunches and sometimes a dinner.
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  Wow.
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  How's it working for you?
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  And he said, no, it's great.
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  I said, if it's that great, what this is a mentoring, sir, it.
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  I said, why did you want to pay me by postdated check?
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  Tell you how long ago it was.
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  And and the fact is he wasn't he wasn't getting anything back from these these events.
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  He was flitting around 1 to 1, and it was activity, but he wasn't building relationships.
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  And I said, look, if you're happy getting up four times a week that early, going out for
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  breakfast meetings, have them with 1, 2, or 3 people, you know, deepen the relationships
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  you've got, rather than just going out and meeting more and not, you know, keep them all
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  of that very peripheral out to circle level.
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  And, really, it's about billing, just nurturing that relationship in a in a in a really
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  conscious way, by the sounds of it.
• 15:51
  Right?
• 15:51
  Like, if I met you, like, I've, you know, with my contacts, and I'll run into them again.
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  And then before you know what, I'm trying to connect with them again, but they get busy.
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  Sometimes it could be a year later, but I just had this happen with someone.
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  And then it was a great opportunity.
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  Then I was invited to something, mental health roundtable after trying to kinda connect And
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  then, of course, you know, it's right up in my wheelhouse and, you know, but again, it's it's
• 16:15
  kinda if the person doesn't respond to you, it doesn't mean that they're not wanting to.
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  Oftentimes, everybody's so busy too.
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  And what I started doing, literally in the last week and a half, because I'm being forced to.
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  I'm on a business accelerator, and they're pushing me into, you know, taking more action
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  than than I do what I should have been doing is I'm just picking up the phone to three people
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  every day.
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  Just picking up the phone, how are you?
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  Yes.
• 16:39
  Yes.
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  Even if you don't get a hold of them, you've got a touch point You leave a voice mail.
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  They see your missed call.
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  You have a touch point, and and that keeps you insight in mind.
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  Now, of course, they pick up the phone and they phone you back, that adds times your day.
• 16:55
  And and someone asked me about this on LinkedIn this week because I posted a video, about about
• 17:01
  this topic and and and the time it takes to to to build relationships effectively.
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  And I said, said, how do you handle the 7 hours of return calls that you get?
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  And I said, well, if I'm phoning the right people, then it's time invested.
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  It's the right time.
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  You know, and and I'll have to manage it.
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  But if I'm speaking to spending 7 hours talk a week talking to the right people in my network,
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  then that's good, isn't it?
• 17:27
  Oh, absolutely.
• 17:28
  Then you're speaking to the right people.
• 17:29
  Abs I think that that makes so much sense, right, because with this with the networking
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  that I've been doing the same kind of idea.
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  Just trying to be a lot more strategic.
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  Why am I doing what I'm doing?
• 17:39
  Where do I wanna speak or train and obviously trying to attend those events because those are
• 17:44
  the people that are in that kind of wheelhouse.
• 17:47
  So let's let's talk about Now you and I, I think, was it last year we chatted and, you
• 17:53
  would be you were writing a book, and I I know We chatted a little bit about it before we got
• 17:58
  online, but I'd love about about the book and kind of where things are at and kind of the the
• 18:04
  content of the book.
• 18:06
  Yeah.
• 18:06
  So so the book was was due to be published this year.
• 18:10
  Unfortunately, my publisher and I haven't really seen eye to eye with it.
• 18:14
  So, we're we're looking, I think possibly to, an alternate an alternative publisher that will
• 18:20
  come out next year.
• 18:22
  But the the topic of the book is just us.
• 18:25
  And the the focus of the book is I believe that we have a culture of showing strength.
• 18:32
  Of showing we know things of proving that we're we are able, that holds us back.
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  It holds businesses back because it make people recreating mistakes because they're not
• 18:42
  sharing, and it holds individuals back.
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  And, you know, you hear so much these days about mental health issues.
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  And a lot of that is because we don't open up.
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  We don't share.
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  So I wanted to explore that.
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  So the book is a series of stories from people from around the world, and some of it very
• 19:02
  business focused, some of it more personal, but with lessons for businesses, looking at
• 19:08
  vulnerability, transparency, honesty, and and just trying to say, well, what went wrong
• 19:15
  because you weren't able to be open?
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  What went right because you could?
• 19:19
  We have stories from a professional footballer who tried to commit suicide while playing just
• 19:25
  after playing the Premier League, still playing top level football.
• 19:29
  We have a former backing singer to Tom Petty and Leonard Cohen, who suffered from anxiety
• 19:35
  attacks fainted on stage when when on stage with Leonard Cohen.
• 19:39
  And she shared with me how both Tom Petty and Leonard Cohen shared their own vulnerability
• 19:45
  with her.
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  And the difference that made.
• 19:48
  We have a former New York gang member and and and what she went through.
• 19:51
  You know, it's a real mix of stories from all around the world.
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  But the common theme is we need to be more open.
• 19:58
  We need to share.
• 19:59
  We we need to be more vulnerable.
• 20:00
  You know, and we talked before we started the recording about this word authenticity.
• 20:06
  And and part of my final chapter is sharing how I almost did a count up of the number of times
• 20:14
  the word authenticity or authentic came up in the interviews I held because it was constant.
• 20:20
  Everyone was was saying it.
• 20:23
  It it is a buzz word these days.
• 20:26
  And, you know, people get a bit defensive, you know, about cliches and all.
• 20:30
  Well, that's cliche.
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  Sometimes for things are a cliche or a buzzword for a reason because they're important because
• 20:36
  we need to talk about them, and I think authenticity is in that space right now.
• 20:40
  And, you know, when we look at, I talk a lot about authentic leadership and when you see
• 20:45
  those authentic leaders, you know, they it's not comfortable for them.
• 20:50
  They're they're they're stretching themselves oftentimes because they practiced it.
• 20:54
  And I can think in my career or just going into different environments where I would have to
• 20:58
  report to some senior VPs.
• 21:00
  The ones that were able to kind of show you what was happening, not just within the
• 21:05
  company, but within their lives, oftentimes with those those are the ones that you really
• 21:09
  get to know.
• 21:10
  Like, you're like, oh, I could just pick up that phone, and I couldn't talk to Andy because
• 21:13
  he he shared x, y, or z, or that difficulty or whatever.
• 21:16
  And then, in my professional relationship with them, it became more a bit of a professional
• 21:22
  friendship.
• 21:23
  So that there was not that that barrier to go and ask for something.
• 21:27
  And some of the other contacts that were sometimes the most difficult were the ones that
• 21:32
  were struggling in their personal lives.
• 21:34
  Yeah.
• 21:35
  I I I think that's a that's a fair observation.
• 21:37
  And One of the people that I interviewed for the book and funny enough is one of my three
• 21:42
  calls today.
• 21:45
  Is the CEO of a big jab he's the UK CEO of a big Japanese manufacturing organization.
• 21:52
  And he's one of the best leaders, I know, a guy called Phil Jones.
• 21:56
  One of the best leaders of people that I know.
• 21:59
  And so I I it was really interesting with Phil because I knew from the beginning that I wanted
• 22:05
  to interview him for the book.
• 22:08
  But when when I interviewed him, he immediately referred me to one of his, workers, one of his
• 22:14
  employees, who worked on the factory floor, to share his story, which I think was a mark of
• 22:21
  the guy.
• 22:22
  And and it it didn't mean he didn't wanna do the interview.
• 22:24
  We still did the interview.
• 22:25
  This in the interview.
• 22:26
  He said you need to talk to Ronnie about his experience, and so I interviewed Ronnie as well
• 22:30
  and share that story.
• 22:32
  But it was just that that openness.
• 22:35
  But to to your point, one of the things that the the came out for me is the journey Phil
• 22:40
  went through because he didn't start out like that.
• 22:42
  He wasn't you know, the open, transparent, supportive person he is now.
• 22:47
  He was target driven and probably quite hard on people.
• 22:52
  But he went through his own journey and done coaching, and realized that wasn't him and it
• 22:57
  wasn't who he wanted to be.
• 22:59
  And once it became all offensively him, he's happier, and he's been a lot more successful.
• 23:05
  What I've seen with the leaders that are trying to enhance their authenticity is just starting
• 23:11
  to be aware.
• 23:12
  And that's oftentimes, you know, people at such senior levels They're tactical driven.
• 23:18
  They're they're high achieving people, and they're oftentimes could even ignore a lot of
• 23:22
  things that should be addressed.
• 23:24
  So it takes the the really the the conscious person to say, you know, I recognize I'm good.
• 23:28
  I get a lot of tactical things done, but I recognize that, you know, there's people around
• 23:33
  me that are dropping off off or we can't keep people on our senior teams.
• 23:38
  So I think sometimes the concept of I want to be more aware is a nice concept, but it
• 23:44
  sometimes takes, you know, looking at what's what's not going well because maybe the bottom
• 23:49
  line is still quite healthy.
• 23:51
  But the relationships in the organizations aren't aren't as healthy.
• 23:56
  Something that's really interesting.
• 23:59
  I think one of the reasons why leaders might be inclined to ignore what's, you know, what's
• 24:03
  under the surface is time pressure.
• 24:08
  And most of the senior leaders that I know are under huge pressures of time.
• 24:13
  I'm in the process of putting together I retreat for senior leaders in my network.
• 24:19
  People I know I have a trusted relationship with for them to learn from each other, to
• 24:24
  share with each other.
• 24:25
  And the people I'm phoning, I know a time poor.
• 24:29
  Takes them a week, week and a half to come back to me, and I know why.
• 24:33
  I know it's not personal.
• 24:34
  I know it's time.
• 24:37
  So when I was discussing this retreat with with the coach I'm working with, I said I don't you
• 24:43
  know, he was talking about, you know, financial incentives to book early and things like that.
• 24:48
  I said money isn't gonna be an issue here.
• 24:50
  Right.
• 24:51
  Don't think the concept's gonna be an issue.
• 24:53
  Time is gonna be the issue.
• 24:55
  And everyone I've spoken to so far, and the first conversation I had was with a former
• 25:00
  client of mine, who is incredibly under pressure, just post merger or or takeover of
• 25:05
  the business she runs, incredible pressure.
• 25:08
  Her only answer was yes.
• 25:10
  If the date fits, I'm there.
• 25:12
  And that's pretty much been all of them.
• 25:14
  No one has actually offered time as an objection, even though I know that they are
• 25:20
  incredibly time poor.
• 25:22
  So I think that the temptation in day to day work to to leave stuff that's not pressing is
• 25:31
  it it can be very strong.
• 25:33
  But if you have the right if it's presented to you, the opportunity is presented to you in the
• 25:39
  right way to step away from the business and look at those issues or look at your own career
• 25:44
  or look at whatever the challenges may be.
• 25:46
  The retreat will be focused on their challenges.
• 25:49
  People will find the time and they'll do it, but it going back to your question, conscious
• 25:54
  strategy.
• 25:55
  What I'm enabling them to do is step away from the business, step away from the day to day,
• 26:00
  and actually look after themselves for a little bit.
• 26:03
  And I think they do see the value of that.
• 26:05
  It's just creating that conscious ability to do it.
• 26:09
  I'm not a senior leader of a large organization.
• 26:13
  But even as someone who's written a book on the importance of vulnerability and asking for
• 26:17
  help, I have to remind myself to do it.
• 26:21
  Because the the the other side of it is the natural inclination is to still present that
• 26:26
  strong image.
• 26:28
  And I have to consciously remind myself to do it.
• 26:30
  So I think that for most people, it's still a conscious thing, and it will and it will
• 26:35
  remain.
• 26:36
  So even if you build the habit, you'll have to retain it through conscious activity.
• 26:41
  And, you know, I was recently reading an article that says that, you know, sometimes the
• 26:45
  level of, of achievements of senior executives.
• 26:49
  It it could be aligned to they're they're so pinpointed in what their objectives are that
• 26:55
  it's it's it's they likened it to almost like a bit of an addiction.
• 26:58
  Right?
• 26:58
  So they can take one thing and they can achieve it.
• 27:00
  So when you're introducing something like vulnerability or authenticity, It's a new
• 27:05
  concept that they may value, but it's like, where where am I gonna fit this in even though
• 27:10
  I know it's gonna be valuable?
• 27:12
  Right?
• 27:12
  Which is the And at that time management again, it's juggling priorities.
• 27:17
  And and and you you have to create you have to create the space for people to take this on
• 27:23
  board and make it as natural as possible so that even if they have to apply it consciously.
• 27:30
  They can do so in in and among their day to day work.
• 27:35
  So, I mean, I'm trying to meditate on a daily basis, and I'm not seating.
• 27:40
  I did today.
• 27:41
  I try I try to I try to do it every morning before I get out of bed.
• 27:45
  I try I and I have this headset next to my next to my bed.
• 27:49
  And then I just try even if it's for 10 minutes, because it's Yeah.
• 27:52
  Really, really so valuable, but it's you're right.
• 27:54
  It has to be one of those conscious things.
• 27:56
  And before you know it, you're running behind and all those things.
• 27:58
  Right?
• 27:59
  Yeah.
• 27:59
  And and and I think that even finding 10 minutes a day, I've struggled.
• 28:03
  I haven't been able to do it.
• 28:04
  And you need a way of just triggering these points, whether it's an alarm on your phone,
• 28:13
  whether it's built in the diary, whatever it might be And it's the same going back to the
• 28:17
  follow-up.
• 28:17
  It's the same with follow-up, 10 minutes a day in your diary.
• 28:20
  Go on to LinkedIn, look at the news feed, and see who's whose updates you can share.
• 28:25
  You know, things like that make a difference.
• 28:28
  And this was the video I talked about on LinkedIn was all about.
• 28:31
  We we we lack time with time poor.
• 28:35
  But these little steps don't necessarily have to take a lot of time, but we've gotta be
• 28:39
  conscious about it, and we've got to schedule it in.
• 28:41
  And we need and we need that.
• 28:43
  We need those pockets of time, but the only way that it's gonna happen is if we build it in,
• 28:47
  even if it's like, I often when I speak to leaders, I'll I'll tell them about putting a
• 28:52
  alert on their phones to to take a little bit of a break, to to come become connected to one
• 28:58
  of those century elements.
• 28:59
  Like, one thing that I do is I say, okay.
• 29:01
  So, you know, why don't you put 3 pictures of the 3 most important people in your world and
• 29:07
  then hooked that to maybe 1 or 2 songs that are kinda gets you reconnected with yourself.
• 29:12
  And they go, oh my goodness.
• 29:13
  That's a great strategy.
• 29:14
  What is it?
• 29:15
  How long is this song?
• 29:16
  2 minutes?
• 29:17
  The pictures flow with it.
• 29:18
  It's on your desktop of your phone.
• 29:20
  And then it really kind of brings you back to really what's important, why am I doing what
• 29:23
  I'm doing.
• 29:24
  But again, that takes that conscious effort to be able to apply it through your day.
• 29:29
  Now so tell us a little bit about, when the book will be out, and maybe you can come back
• 29:33
  on when the book is out, and we can chat a little bit more about the book.
• 29:36
  I can't answer that question at the moment, but I'll be happy to come back on when it's out.
• 29:40
  We're, you know, it's literally in the last few days, I think we've got to a point with a
• 29:46
  publisher where we're not on the same page.
• 29:48
  What they want as a book is not what I want produce.
• 29:53
  And so we we need to look at our options, you know, whether we stay.
• 29:57
  So it's a very well known global publisher whether we want find another similar one and
• 30:02
  wait another year for the book to come out or want to accelerate the process and, that I
• 30:07
  don't know yet.
• 30:09
  Well, when you whenever it it comes about, it sounds like it's a fascinating book.
• 30:13
  I think it would be something that would be so helpful because I think when we you know, speak
• 30:19
  to vulnerability from an open space.
• 30:21
  This can relate.
• 30:22
  Right?
• 30:22
  We can relate.
• 30:22
  We've all been there.
• 30:23
  We've, you know, done things not so well.
• 30:25
  We've maybe not spent time with family.
• 30:27
  I know I've gone through that when my son was younger and I was traveling and, you know, I
• 30:31
  had those moments where I'd come home and he'd just have laid down and gone to bed.
• 30:36
  And I felt like I'd missed that time.
• 30:38
  You know, we all can relate to it as we're out there pursuing our goals, but at the end of the
• 30:42
  day, trying to take a little bit of time just to be able to put back what's important into
• 30:47
  her day becomes very, very key.
• 30:49
  And then it become accumulative effect, like you said, with your senior leaders, if they can
• 30:54
  take that weekend or whatever you're doing, that's a big investment, but the gain that they
• 31:00
  would get from, you know, doing some of the things that you're suggesting would probably
• 31:03
  bring them massive return.
• 31:06
  Go ahead.
• 31:06
  For anybody wanting to is there any last words of wisdom that you wanna leave with people
• 31:11
  listening or any of people wanting to, have you connect to speak to come to North America?
• 31:17
  I know you're here often.
• 31:19
  Companies are listening where do they get a hold of you?
• 31:22
  Well, in terms of final words, I I think that, you know, you you you talked about, you know,
• 31:29
  you talk about authenticity.
• 31:31
  Authentic leadership.
• 31:33
  For me, authenticity is the key.
• 31:35
  And with the folks on professional relationships, Don't always well, don't always
• 31:41
  focus on what someone can do for you in the short term.
• 31:44
  Be strategic in where you build your relationships and where you need to plug gaps
• 31:48
  in your network.
• 31:50
  But at the same time, be open to relationships where you've got a strong report and where
• 31:54
  you've got things in common.
• 31:56
  And, you know, there will be people in your in your network who will never support you, and
• 32:00
  you'll never support them, but you'll just enjoy each other's company.
• 32:03
  There'll be people in your network where you'll help them, and they won't ever have the
• 32:08
  opportunity to help you or understand how.
• 32:11
  And there will be people where you where it will go the other way around.
• 32:15
  Right.
• 32:16
  And it's just making sure that there's not everything's not a quid pro quo.
• 32:20
  You don't measure every relationship.
• 32:22
  You understand you build a strong network and the network as a whole.
• 32:26
  Provides the boost for you, for your career, or for your business.
• 32:29
  And my favorite quote on the topic comes from let a a a poet and author called Elizabeth
• 32:37
  Asquith Babesco.
• 32:39
  She was the daughter of the former British Prime Minister, lord Asquith.
• 32:43
  And she said, bless it a day who give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
• 32:49
  Give without remembering receive without forgetting.
• 32:51
  And if you can build a network where you all embrace that philosophy, then everyone in that
• 32:57
  network has the opportunity to grow.
• 32:59
  So those will be my final thoughts, how to contact me.
• 33:02
  Well, once you know how to spell my surname, then I become very easy to find.
• 33:06
  Because it's not very common name.
• 33:09
  So so the website is andylaparta.com, and Lipalta is spelled l0p ATA.
• 33:16
  And I'm sure with my accent, everyone's gonna get that wrong, but it but I'm sure it'll be in
• 33:21
  the show notes as well.
• 33:22
  I'm on Twitter.
• 33:24
  I'm on LinkedIn.
• 33:26
  There's a Facebook business page.
• 33:27
  So it's facebook.com/networking strategy.
• 33:31
  Similar on LinkedIn.
• 33:33
  I would suggest if you want to connect with me on LinkedIn, please personalize it, and let me
• 33:38
  know how you found me, because I I get a lot of requests from people.
• 33:43
  I have no idea who they are, and I I do like to know.
• 33:46
  And
• 33:46
  then we can have a conversation.
• 33:49
  Well, Andy, thanks so much for taking your time and getting on, very early before you get into
• 33:53
  your day.
• 33:55
  So what I'm taking away is just take the time.
• 33:58
  Be strategic, but don't have an outcome in mind.
• 34:01
  If you could help someone, go ahead and help them and don't expect anything in return.
• 34:05
  And likewise, you might get the same from people.
• 34:08
  And just be vulnerable.
• 34:10
  You know, if you're a leader, just recognize that that's a that's a gift that you're not
• 34:13
  just giving yourself that you're giving everyone around you, And, you know, that
• 34:17
  relatability goes through the roof when people learn something other than just what they think
• 34:21
  you are professionally.
• 34:22
  So, Andy, thanks again.
• 34:24
  And, you know, when I to London.
• 34:25
  I'll have to make sure and check you out.
• 34:28
  Absolutely.
• 34:28
  It'd be a pleasure to meet in person.
• 34:30
  Thanks
• 34:30
  a lot.
• 34:31
  Okay.
• 34:31
  Okay.
• 34:31
  Take care.
• 34:33
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 34:38
  healthy change.
• 34:39
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 34:46
  rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 34:50
  We'll see next time on authentic living with Roxanne.