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When Children Get Lost: Simple Steps for Parents · Talking FACS

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  Welcome to Talking FACS, what you need to know about family,
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  food, finance, and fitness.
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  This nationally recognized, award-winning podcast is hosted by the University
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  of Kentucky Family and Consumer Sciences Extension Program.
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  Our educators share research knowledge with individuals, families,
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  and communities to improve quality of life.
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  If you are a parent, you might have experienced at some point that heart-sinking
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  moment of recognizing that your child is not right by your side.
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  Today on Talking FACS, where we share information that you can use to strengthen
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  your family, your community, and our state, we are going to talk about what
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  to teach kids about getting lost.
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  I am your host, Mindy McCulley, Extension Specialist for Instructional Support
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  with Family and Consumer Sciences Extension, and my guest, Dr.
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  David Weisenhorn, Extension Specialist for Parenting and Child Development has
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  all the answers about what we need to tell kids when they get lost. So welcome, David.
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  Thank you, Mindy. Wow, all the answers. Well, I have some.
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  Well, you know, it happens. I can remember one time in particular when Matthew
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  was about two years old and we were shopping in a department store and all of
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  a sudden he wasn't there.
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  He had just crawled into the middle of one of those circular clothing racks,
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  and he was in the center, and we couldn't see him because the clothes hung to the floor.
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  But for a moment, it was panic time because where was he?
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  And he didn't answer when we called, and it was a moment where we were pretty stressed.
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  Oh, I had that very similar feeling when my daughter got lost early.
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  We just moved to Lexington.
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  And we were unloading, my wife and I were unloading, unpacking the moving truck.
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  I mean, we're in the driveway of our home. We're unpacking the truck.
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  And we both noticed that my daughter is nowhere to be found.
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  She's two years old at the time. She was supposed to be kind of toddling around
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  right where we were. We could not find her. And I mean, our heart sunk.
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  We started screaming and yelling and asking for a name. Well,
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  I went to the next door. I'd never even met our neighbors yet.
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  I knocked on their door, let them know my daughter was missing.
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  I mean, we're running up and down the road yelling. I was absolutely panicked.
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  And later we find she's crawled up in the backseat of the forerunner and she's
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  hiding and she was crying because she heard us yelling and didn't know what to do.
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  And so she continued to hide and cry even more. And so for that,
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  I feel it's important that parents know, hey, there are things we can do to
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  teach our children what they should do when they get lost.
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  And these are simple principles because, Mindy, your story and my story, they're not uncommon.
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  The statistic in the U.S. is 460,000 children go missing annually.
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  So I'm maybe that's a further stretch than just getting lost in a department
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  store or getting lost in children.
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  But the reality is, is that it happens frequently, whether it's right in front of us or maybe not.
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  And so there's some important things that we need to teach our children,
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  especially our young ones.
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  What to do when they get lost. And so I encourage parents to begin talking to
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  your children as soon as you can, two and three years old, when they're up walking
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  and toddling, we need to begin to know these things.
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  And the first one is that they need to know their name, their full name,
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  their first and their last name. And that sounds simple.
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  Mindy, you said, sure, that's easy peasy, right? And that's good.
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  They need to know their full name. Why do they need to know their full name?
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  So that they can report it to whoever they're standing in front of who can then
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  put it over a loudspeaker or a comp.
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  But they also need to know your name. We can go back to your son in a department store.
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  If he starts to yell, mommy, mommy, who do you think?
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  Yeah, right. There's 1,500 moms in the department store.
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  So it would be easier for your child to say, Mindy, right? To yell your name
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  so that you might be able to hear that.
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  It's so important to tell them what their full name is and then what your full
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  name is. The other thing is to teach them your phone number.
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  That can be important to have that number. If your child is young and you're
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  in maybe an amusement park or
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  you're going to just go to a museum for the day or to the park for a day.
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  Sometimes they have these wrist identifiers, these little bands that you can
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  put around children that have that kind of information on it.
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  That can be helpful as well.
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  If they're too young to be able to remember that phone number,
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  you can just write that on there.
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  But teaching your kid at a young age what your telephone number is, is really important.
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  Not just putting it in their phone, but actually giving them the digits so that
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  they could give that to somebody else if they needed to.
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  The fourth piece of information I would say is to teach them to stay put.
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  We know this, especially when we're lost.
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  We hear like, hey, if you're lost in the woods, stay put. That way people will
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  kind of try and come back to where you are.
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  That can be hard to do when you're a little child, but teach them that's the
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  best method. is that, hey, stay put.
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  Mom's going to come back to where I last saw you or dad's going to come back
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  to where we might have been.
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  So if you'll stay put and not move, it'll be easier for me to find you.
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  It's also important to tell them it's okay to yell. This is big, right?
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  Even when we're inside, hey, listen, if you get lost from me,
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  yell, scream, make a noise, make a scene so that somebody else will notice you.
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  Because even if dad or mom doesn't hear you, right, or grandma or nanny or whoever,
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  somebody will hear you, another adult, right, that might then be attracted to
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  that situation and seek to try and help you.
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  And then the last thing I would say to them is, if all of those things don't
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  work, if you can't find somebody that by yelling my name, by screaming,
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  by staying put and you got nothing,
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  then find a mom with kids.
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  Find another parent that might, and specifically moms with kids are probably
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  more approachable and safer than maybe anybody else that might be a stranger.
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  Finding another mom that has children would possibly allow them to want to be
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  more, what do I say, aligned in finding you, your adult.
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  Such great advice because it happens.
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  It happens. It happens. I mean,
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  you and I just both gave two situations where we had it happen to us.
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  And I'm sure that probably everyone who's listening can share a similar story
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  where it has happened to them.
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  And it's a horrible feeling and maybe it only lasts a couple of minutes or maybe
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  it only lasts, you know, five minutes, but it's,
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  terrifying as a parent. And I can only imagine how it feels to that child who
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  is wondering where are my parents or what is going on with my parents who are
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  screaming my name and I can't,
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  and I don't know why they are screaming at me.
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  You know, and I remember as a child being separated from my parents in a department
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  store in a large space, never really lost, but separated.
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  And yeah, that panic as a child, just when you look up and you realize nobody
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  around you is somebody that you recognize, there's a lot of panic in there.
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  And I did not stay put, right? I quickly ran around as fast as I could to try
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  and find where my parents were.
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  And it is quite frightening, but being an adult on that, being a parent on that
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  side too, wow, super, like you said, just terrifying when you look up and your child's not around.
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  So teaching some of these elements, I think, are really important.
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  You know, I talk about finding a mom.
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  It's also important to know that to a child, depending on where we are,
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  if we're at the zoo, that's a common place where we might go large areas with
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  our children, might see a lot of other people.
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  Even letting them know, or a museum, letting them know what a uniformed individual looks like.
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  Hey, if they're wearing this patch or they're wearing this uniform,
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  this is a safe person to approach. And that could be all obviously police officers
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  and other first responders in our community.
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  Those are important things to know. But also, if there's somebody,
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  a staff member at a place where you're frequently or you're visiting,
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  those would be good to recognize what that person looks like and say to your
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  child before you get going for the day.
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  If we get separated, this is who you would want to try and contact if you can't find them.
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  Yeah, I love that. You know, no matter where you are, point out what the uniformed
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  people look like, what their uniforms are. And I think that's a great point.
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  Are there other steps that we can take as precautionary steps?
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  I think that's probably about where we are for now.
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  And I think those are good, good steps to start with.
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  And, you know, just the more we talk with our children, the better off we are.
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  And the more we can share with them about who they are and who we are,
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  the better off they are if they do get separated from us. You know,
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  one thing that I like to, I've noticed, I never did this as a parent,
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  but I've noticed parents doing it now.
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  It's everybody dressing in bright colors or, you know, the same color.
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  So if hot pink is your, maybe it's not your favorite color, that if your whole
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  family is dressed in hot pink, then it's obvious to your child that if you see
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  hot pink, that might be my mom or dad.
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  And it's easy to pick out because, you know, that might not be the color that
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  everybody else might be choosing to wear that day or, you know,
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  bright orange or something.
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  So it might not be your favorite color, but it might be the color that's easy
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  for your child to identify, the color that your family's wearing today. You know what?
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  It wasn't until I thought much about this that people that dressed alike,
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  I used to feel confused, little families, you know, but you get a lot in amusement parks.
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  You will see them all dressed accordingly.
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  And what a clever idea that is when it comes to identifying who's in your group, right?
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  And so you can do that with just an article of clothing or a headband or a hairband
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  or something like that that everybody could wear that might be a symbol that
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  they could then see easily recognizable in a crowd. So that's great. Yeah.
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  All right, David. Well, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate that we're
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  trying to keep Lost and Found a little less busy these days.
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  I love it, Mindy. Thank you so much for having me.
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  If you are just tuning in, you are listening to Talking FACS
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