Latest / ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women / 152 // You are Not Defined by Your Circumstances within ADHD

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152 // You are Not Defined by Your Circumstances within ADHD · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

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  Sometimes it feels like we are defined by what we are experiencing.
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  If we feel like our life is chaotic, it feels like we are the chaos.
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  If maybe we were rejected in some capacity, let go from a job,
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  we were fired, we, you know, somebody broke up with us, whatever it is,
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  it feels like these things define who we are.
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  And in today's episode, I want to talk to and encourage you by the fact that
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  you are not defined by what you are experiencing.
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  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm your host,
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  Kelsey, and today we're going to talk about how it can feel like we are defined
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  by what we are currently experiencing.
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  But the reasons why that is not the case and the encouragement we can find in that.
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  Make sure you stay until the end where I will give you three tips that will
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  help you to not feel defined by what you are currently experiencing. Okay.
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  I don't know about you, but I feel like for me in recent days or recent weeks,
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  it feels like I've been defined by what is happening in my life.
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  There's been a lot in the last couple of months of, you know,
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  I have unprovoked blood clots in my shoulder that have not resolved,
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  that they don't have any answers for. My dad passed away.
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  There's been a lot of family drama and things going on, And something that it
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  has left me feeling is chaos. And I feel like I'm just a hot mess all around.
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  And I've noticed how it has affected the way I instinctively see myself around
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  other people, where I feel less than,
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  I feel unworthy, I feel that people are going to see me as chaos,
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  they're going to see me as the mess that I'm experiencing.
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  And it got me thinking, you know, have you ever felt like you're defined by
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  what you're going through, that that suddenly becomes your identity?
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  Maybe you got fired from a job or let go.
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  Maybe, you know, a relationship ended, a friendship ended.
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  Maybe you're just struggling day-to-day with executive functioning tasks,
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  with rejection sensitivity. Maybe you feel the need to mask who you genuinely are all the time.
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  And it feels like those things define you.
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  It can be it can be
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  so discouraging and disheartening and so in today's episode
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  I want to encourage you that even if
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  your circumstances have changed which they inevitably will change over and over
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  again your worth does not change with your circumstances your identity does
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  not change with your circumstances and what I mean by that I mean if you if
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  you now see yourself differently,
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  that can change, you know, part of your identity. But what I mean is that.
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  The worth and the value of who you really are isn't changed by what you're experiencing around you.
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  So maybe there are things going on around you outside of your control.
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  Maybe there are big life changes that are happening in your life surrounding
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  you or maybe that you're a part of.
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  And I just want you to know that even if it feels like those are all consuming,
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  that they don't define who you are.
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  So those three tips that I want to give you today, if you are struggling with
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  feeling defined by your circumstances, with what you're currently experiencing,
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  with maybe the struggles that you're going through,
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  the first step is I want you to get to know who you are at the core of who you are.
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  And the first step of that, the one that I teach here in this podcast,
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  is getting to know your worth, knowing that you are a daughter of God,
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  that you are loved no matter what,
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  that He has created you in His image, and that your worth is not dependent on
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  what you are currently experiencing in your life.
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  Even if it feels awful to feel rejected, to, you know, be let go from a job
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  or broken up with or have a friendship ended or whatever it is, It does not feel good,
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  but it does not change the worth that you intrinsically have.
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  The second part of getting to know who you are is understanding what is it you
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  need in your life in order to thrive,
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  in order to live well, in order to feel alive and live a meaningful life.
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  Something that has been so helpful for me in figuring this out is coaching.
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  And that is something that I offer as well. You can go to ADHDwithconfidence.com.
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  You can book an intake call, you can book a coaching call, but it can really
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  help you in figuring out what is it that you actually need in order to live your best life.
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  Some of those things, you know, your needs, your values, the things that you're passionate about.
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  Also your strengths. What are the strengths that you bring to the table?
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  What are the strengths that you would feel good using in your life and how can
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  you incorporate those into your life?
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  And the reason why this is so important is because when we don't know ourselves,
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  when we don't understand ourselves,
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  it can be, we can be so easily tossed to and fro by the waves, the wind in our lives.
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  And that's these circumstances, these experience outside of ourselves.
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  But when you really know who you are and you are grounded in that.
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  It's still difficult in certain circumstances, but it doesn't completely destroy
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  or crush you in the same way.
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  Just as an example, so what I was saying I've been experiencing lately is I feel,
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  like I am defined or I was feeling like I was defined by the chaos around me,
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  the chaos in my family, some of the things that have come up since my dad's funeral.
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  And what I realized is that it's been so much easier to stay grounded in who
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  I am because I know who I am.
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  I know my worth is not defined by what's going on around me.
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  And also, it's been so helpful, and I want this for you as well,
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  to have things in place in my life that use my strengths that I'm passionate about.
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  I love being able to be here with you on the podcast. It is such an honor to have you here with me.
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  And when I hear people reach out, leaving a review or sending an email,
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  it just lights me up and it brings me so much joy. And I hope this brings you joy as well.
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  And I want you to know, so this is something that's important,
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  is figuring out what are those things for you and how can we incorporate them into your life.
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  The second part here, the second tip is to become aware of your inner dialogue.
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  When you have these circumstances, you were let go from your job,
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  what are you saying about yourself?
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  Specifically in regards to the situation, are you saying, you know,
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  I'm a reject, I'm unlovable, I will never amount to anything,
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  nobody wants to be around me, I'm a failure. Are you putting yourself down?
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  Or are you saying, you know what, these are my circumstances right now,
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  it won't always be like this.
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  These do not define me. These do not change my worth.
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  I can't see it now, but I'm sure there will be a good option in the future,
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  potentially a better option in the future.
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  And so this number two, step number two, it's important to think about how you're
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  talking about yourself and encourage you to give yourself grace,
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  to give yourself compassion as you go through difficult or challenging circumstances.
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  Number three, it's important to make forward motion.
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  Now, I'm not saying that it's only about forward motion.
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  I think first and foremost, if you are going through something difficult,
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  it's important to deal with, you know, the grief, the trauma,
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  the why, the experiences, how it relates to other parts of your life.
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  It's important to see a trained professional like
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  a counselor a psychologist but it's also
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  important to know that we can make forward motion that even when we are struggling
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  even when we've had a hard time we can move forward in little increments in
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  little steps and once again this is something that has helped me so much in
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  one-on-one coaching and something that I want to help you with.
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  If that is something that you are interested in and ready for,
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  head to ADHDwithconfidence.com and book that free intake call.
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  With something like coaching, we can figure out what is keeping you stuck.
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  Where is it that you actually want to go? I think often I hear people who have
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  goals and they have things that they aspire to, but they don't actually understand why.
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  And they don't understand, you know, I want to make this much money,
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  but they don't know that the real thing that they actually want is a challenge
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  in their life and that it can come in so many different ways.
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  And I think as well, something that's helpful with making forward motion is
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  that it reminds you that you're not always going to be where you are right now.
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  You're not always going to feel the chaos that you feel right now in what you
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  are experiencing. And yes, It can feel so incredibly real for where you are right now.
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  But there is hope that we can take steps forward.
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  We can make that forward motion. And I find that in the midst of dealing with
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  those difficult circumstances, it can help give us hope that we can start to also move forward.
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  That there is hope for something different. That there is hope that we can incorporate
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  our strengths, our interests, our passions, and do something that feels meaningful,
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  that gives us that meaningful life that we are hoping for.
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  So as a recap, three tips to help you not feel like you're defined by your circumstances
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  or what you're experiencing.
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  Number one, get to know who you are.
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  Number two, become aware of your inner dialogue and use compassion and grace towards yourself.
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  And then number three, work on making forward motion. And if that's something
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  that I can partner with you on through coaching, I would be honored.
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  You can head to ADHDwithconfidence.com and book that free intake call.
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  I hope you have found something helpful in today's episode. Don't forget to
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  click that follow button.
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  And I look forward to the next episode. Until then, God bless.