Latest / Motivation study / STOP WASTING TIME _ GET IT DONE _ Powerful Motivational Compilation (Featuring Jocko)

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STOP WASTING TIME _ GET IT DONE _ Powerful Motivational Compilation (Featuring Jocko) · Motivation study

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: And if I was to talk to my 26-year-old self,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I would tell that kid that you don't have time.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: When your excuses make you feel a little bit better
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: about the fact that you didn't execute on what you
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: needed to execute on, then they can make you feel better,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: but they're not helping you. If you want freedom in
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: your life, you have to have discipline. Standing there lost
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and not doing anything is just waiting to die, waiting
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: to starve to death. Don't let that happen.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: If someone was on the extreme end of that disease
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: of excuse and blame and all of those things, is
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: there anything that you could do or you would advise
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: them to do to kind of walk back from there?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: When the excuses all go away and people can actually
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: confront the fact that this is all because of me,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: It hurts, but it is also unbelievably empowering because if
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: these problems are because of me, then I'm capable of
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: fixing these problems. If you lack the discipline to manage
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: your time correctly, you will end up with no free time.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: ever wanted from you if you let them. Do you
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: actually want to do this or not? Because if you
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: actually want to do it, what's going to stop you? Nothing.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: And if you don't really want to do it, what's
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: going to stop you? Just about anything that comes up.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Just about any obstacle that gets in your way, it
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: becomes a reason, it becomes a rationale for not proceeding
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: down that path. You have to start moving forward. You
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: have to start taking steps in order to improve your perspective,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: change your perspective. And worst case scenario, you figure out
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: that you walked the wrong direction. Okay, now you can
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: walk in the other direction. What you learn to do is, okay,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go forward. I'm not going to quit.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to go forward, bring it on. And
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I think if there's anything that you learn, it's to
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: keep pushing through things that suck. Your excuses will destroy
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: you and take everything that you ever wanted from you.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: If you let them. when your excuses make you feel
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a little bit better about the fact that you didn't
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: execute on what you needed to execute on, then they
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: can make you feel better. But they're not helping you.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: They're not helping you at all. Why does discipline equal freedom?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Because the more discipline you have in your life, the
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: more freedom you will end up with. So if you
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: lack the discipline to exercise and eat healthy, you will
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: end up being a slave to disease. If you lack
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: the discipline to work hard, save your money, you will
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: end up a slave to finances. If you lack the
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: discipline to manage your time correctly, you will end up
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: with no free time. If you have self-discipline, if you
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: have the discipline to save your money and work hard
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: and invest your money properly, if you have the discipline
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to manage your time correctly and not waste a bunch
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: of time, if you have the discipline to exercise and
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: eat healthy, you will end up with freedom. If you
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: want freedom in your life, you have to have discipline.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Because if you're a kid right now and you're eating
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: dirties off your belly, I know they taste good and
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: there's some immediate gratification and I get that. But I'm
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: going to tell you, it starts right now. Throw that
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: bag of Doritos away. Get rid of it. Go do
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: some pushups. Go spend $ 12 at the hardware store and
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: hang up a pull-up bar in your room and start
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: doing pull-ups. And if you can't do one pull-up, hang
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: on that bar. And you're going to start to get
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: a little bit stronger. You're going to start to get
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: a little bit healthier. You're going to start to get
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: more focused. You're going to start to become more resilient.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: And you're going to start to understand the world better.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: And you're going to start to progress in every aspect
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: of your life. And you'll see that if you have
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: that kind of discipline right now, you're going to end
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: up with freedom. Because you're sad, now you're going to
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: make a bunch of bad decisions because you're sad. No, no,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: it doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: You're sad, okay. You get emotional sometimes, okay. Got it. Now,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: get control of your emotions and carry on with your life.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: And sometimes you're going to get hit with those waves.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: And that's okay. No, at a certain point, you say, okay,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: my emotions are now leading me down the wrong path.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I'm in control. I'm not going to allow my emotions
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to make my decisions. They're in the calculus. I'm not
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: saying take your emotions out of the calculus. But they
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: have to be one component of your calculus, not the
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: whole equation. You can't pull them out of there or
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: they'll bite you. But you can't make them the overwhelming
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: denominator of everything that you do or it's going to
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: be problematic. You have to start moving forward. You have
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: to start taking steps in order to improve your vision,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: improve your perspective, change your perspective, make some kind of progress.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: And worst case scenario, you figure out that you walked
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: the wrong direction. Okay, now you can go walk in
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: the other direction. And that's going to be fine. But
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: standing there lost and not doing anything is just waiting
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: to die, waiting to starve to death. Don't let that happen.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I had to condition people to take action, even in
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: the SEAL teams. Even a young SEAL leader who you
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: would think would be by nature aggressive and an action taker,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: you put them in a pressure situation where there's not
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: a ton of information and they need to make a decision,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: they don't want to act either. So one of the
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: things that I would teach was that their default mode
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: was to be aggressive. Their default mode was to take action.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I would teach that. Same thing we just discussed. I
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: wouldn't say, hey, look, that means you have to take action,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: but your default setting should be, I'm going to do something.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Because I'd have a young SEAL officer and there'd be
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: some training mission and there'd be a problem in a
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: building and there'd be a bunch of paintball flying around
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: in there and he wouldn't want to go solve that problem.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: He'd back away from that problem. And I would have
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: to go like push him in the back and say,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: you see that problem over there? You got to go
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: solve that problem. It's not going to go away. You
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: got to be aggressive. That's got to be your default
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: mode is to take action and make things happen. Because
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: most human instinct is to wait. Most human instinct is
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: to hesitate. Most human instinct is to let things go
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: longer and stick with the status quo. And that seems
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: to be on the front line. The lowest risk in
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: the situation is to not do anything. It usually appears
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: to be the lowest risk. So to train people to, oh,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I need to take risk, some level of risk, take action,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: because in the long run, I say 7 out of 10.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: 7 out of 10 times, action is better than inaction.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: If someone was on the extreme end of that, disease
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: of excuse and blame and all of those things, is
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: there anything that you could do or you would advise
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: them to do to kind of walk back from there,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: to get over the other side? Because I think we
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: can all think of people in our lives and maybe
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: even ourselves at times who have gotten into a chronic
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: pattern of using excuses and blame as a form of self-defense.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Well, unfortunately, what happens a lot, and you may or
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: may not have seen this, but I would assume you've
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: seen this at some point in your life, people And
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: this is a term, there's a term, it's rock bottom.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: This is a term that we hear for someone that's addicted,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: someone that's an alcoholic, someone that's physically let themselves go,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: someone that's put themselves into a situation with their finances
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: or their work or whatever, where they reach rock bottom.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: But when the excuses all go away, and people can
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: actually confront the fact that this is all because of me,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: and this is, it hurts. but is also unbelievably empowering
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: because if these problems are because of me, then I'm
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: capable of fixing these problems. So even though extreme ownership
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: hurts and is painful, it's also liberating because now you
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: have control over your fate and over your destiny, and
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: that is a glorious thing.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Our excuse is the opposite. Excuses and blame, is that
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: the opposite of extreme ownership? That is the opposite of
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: extreme ownership.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Extreme ownership is this went wrong, this failed, didn't accomplish this,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: and it's not the fault of my boss, it's not
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: the fault of my girlfriend, it's not the fault of
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: my parents, it's not the fault of the weather, it's
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: my fault. And I'm going to take ownership of it
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to fix it. That's what extreme ownership is.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: And this is a very difficult thing to do because
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: it hurts. Because when you look around at your life
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: and you look around at your job and your financial
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: situation and your relationship and your physical health, and when
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: you look at all those things and all the problems
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: that you may have with those things, and you say
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: the reason I have all those problems is because of
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: me that can hurt that can sting and a lot
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: of times our ego rejects that and makes excuses and
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: lies and then we don't have to change anything and
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: then nothing changes What you learn to do is, okay,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go forward. There's no, I can't get
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: out of this. I'm going to go forward. I'm not
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: going to quit. So I'm going to go forward, bring
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: it on. If I'm in the woods, which is where
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: you are right now, you're in the woods and you
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: don't know where to go because the wife's not there anymore.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: The job's not there anymore. You don't know where to
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: go right now. So if you're in the woods and
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: you don't know where to go, start walking. What you
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: learn to do is, okay, I'm going to go forward.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: There's no, I can't get out of this. I'm going
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: to go forward. I'm not going to quit. So I'm
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: going to go forward, bring it on. And I think
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: if there's anything that you learn, it's to keep pushing
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: through things that suck.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Can you teach that? Let's go. We're going to jump
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: back in the water.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Let's go. I think that's one of the few things
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that you learn in basic SEAL training is to shrug
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: your shoulders and go forward. This is just something that's
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: going to suck and you're going to have to push
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: through it. You feel like your life is going to
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: last a long time. And if I was to talk
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: to my 26-year-old self, I would tell that kid that
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you don't have time. And you really, you don't know
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: when it's going to end. And so get out there
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: and do the things you want to do. Get out
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: there and get after them now. Don't wait another second.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Take advantage of it. Get out there and live. and
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: strive to be better. Because the life you've got, which
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: I just said was a gift, it is a gift.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: So live it. So many kids these days miss out
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: on the fact of the correlation between working and studying
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: and pushing yourself to the results that you get. It's
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: what I think hurts kids is they don't connect what
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: they're doing now with the future. I know I didn't.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: You know, when I was a kid, I was, you know,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: what's the future? It's tomorrow. The future is, oh, the weekend.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: You don't realize, oh, you can actually set yourself up.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: What you're doing today is connected to the future. Okay,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: once you make that connection, you say, oh, okay, maybe
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I'll study. Maybe I'll train. Maybe I'll work out harder.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: You can start doing those things because you can improve
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and you can have a better life. Sure. Are there
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: some kids that are going to be able to do
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: pull-ups out of the gate? Sure. Are there some kids
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: that can learn their timetables really quickly? Sure. You're not
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: going to be great at everything, but you can get better.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: As long as you have the discipline, put your mind
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: to it, and are willing to work hard. So you're
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: always learning and growing, and I was always learning until
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: the day I retired. Because it's not a boom, this happened,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and everything changed. It's a constant addition of skill sets.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: and repetition of situations where you become competent at your job.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: The fear of getting shot or killed is not on
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: your mind when you're in the moment. You know, it'll
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: build up when you're waiting to go out. You know,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: there's times you're waiting to go out and you're like,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: thinking to yourself, okay, there's a lot of bad things
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: going on out there and some of them happened to me.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: But I think at some point you realize that There's
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: nothing you can do about that. I mean, other than
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: just quit and just resign yourself to a life of cowardice.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: But if you opt to not do that and you
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: step up and say, okay, I'm ready. And if I die,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I die. And once you overcome that, then nothing else
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: to be afraid of. When we deployed to Iraq in 2006,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: We'd been fighting since 2003 and we'd had very few
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: casualties in the SEAL teams. The amount of guys that
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: had experienced their teammates killed in action was minuscule. And
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: so there was no preparation other than what I had
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: taken away from reading about combat for my whole life.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: What I did was what I knew how to do,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: which was work. And that's literally what I told my
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: guys was we've crossed a line. And there's no possible
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: way to replace or describe or overcome the amount of
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: just heart-wrenching sadness that you feel when you lose a teammate.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: what to say. First time. First time, second time, third time. Irrelevant,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: but time. What I did was, and I told my guys,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I don't know what
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: to tell you. The only thing that I know to
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: do is to go back to work. And I do
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: know this, if Mark was here, he would want us
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: to go back to work. And so we're going to
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: lock and load our weapons and we're going to go
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: do what we do. In World War II, in World
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: War I, there would be days where thousands upon thousands
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: were killed. And so that offered me a small bit
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: of perspective to think to myself that human beings, we
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: can feel like we're special and we can feel like
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: no one's ever been through what I've been through and
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: the world is hard for me and easier for everyone else. Well,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: the reality is that's not true and we're not special.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: And the things that people go through, other people have
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: gone through, most likely much, much worse and much more significant.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: So that to me was a, it gave me at
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: least some level of perspective to realize that other warriors
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: had gone through this before. This was my turn and
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: this is how I'm gonna try and handle it. I've
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: got that going on and I need to control it.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: So when people start getting emotional, when guys get killed,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: how do I get control over that? I absolutely have
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: to control my own emotions. Because it's your guys. And
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: believe me, when you lose one of your guys, you
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: want to kill everyone. And you know you can't. And
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: you know you shouldn't. So you have to detach from
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: your emotions. You have to get control of them. And
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: you have to make sure that you lead your men
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: in the right direction so they don't do something that
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: is not the right thing to do. One of my
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: answers for people, when they say, hey, how can I
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: get better at detaching and controlling my emotions? I tell
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: them to start training jiu-jitsu. Because you're gonna get tapped
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: out in jujitsu. Your ego is gonna get smacked around
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: so hard, you're gonna lose your mind. And what you,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: and the more, the matter you get, the more aggressive
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: you are, the more you're gonna get beat down and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: the worse it's gonna be. So you have to learn
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: to control your emotions. No doubt about it. And then
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: what you have to do is you have to start
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: practicing all the time. You have to start paying attention
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: to the red flags that go up When I start
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: raising my voice at you, I go, oh, that's your emotion.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: And for me, like the minute I feel some sort
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: of anger, some sort of jealousy, some sort of frustration,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: most of the time I go, oh, you're getting mad.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: That's your ego. That's your that's you're getting emotional about this.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Take a step back and listen to what the other
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: person is saying. Take a step back and try and
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: see it from their perspective. Take a step back and
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: try and understand what they're trying to say. Because sometimes,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: you know, if you're not a very articulate person, you're
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: just making me mad. It's only because I don't understand
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: what you're trying to say. Take a step back. Let's
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: talk through it. So pay attention to... You know, I
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: always talk about when you're sending an email to someone
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: and you're typing like this, don't send that email. That's
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: not a good email to send. That's an emotional email. Wait.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Write it out. Fine. And then save it and read
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: it later and you'll realize, oh yeah, I was really
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: mad about something and I was really frustrated. So, how
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: do you do it? You practice it. You pay attention
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: to your emotions and you get control over them.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Can you teach that? That, let's go, We're going to
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: jump back in the water.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Let's go. I think that's one of the few things
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: that you learn in basic SEAL training is to shrug
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: your shoulders and go forward. What you learn to do is, okay,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go forward. There's no, I can't get
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: out of this. I'm going to go forward. I'm not
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: going to quit. So I'm going to go forward, bring
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: it on. If you have discipline, you will attain freedom. Train. Study. Work. Practice. Train. study, work, practice. Train, study, work, practice.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Standing there lost and not doing anything is just waiting
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: to die, waiting to starve to death. Don't let that happen.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: ever wanted from you if you let them. when your
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: excuses make you feel a little bit better about the
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: fact that you didn't execute on what you needed to
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: execute on, then they can make you feel better, but
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: they're not helping you. If you want freedom in your life,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: you have to have discipline. Start now. Go do something
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: that's hard. Go try and accomplish something that's hard. You
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: may win, you may lose, you may succeed, you may fail.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what, you'll be better If you don't
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: accept that challenge, if you don't step up and step
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: into that cold water, this is not a good move.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Don't do that. Don't do that. Just get up. Move
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: towards that challenge, whatever that challenge is. Move towards that
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: challenge and go attack it. You have to start moving forward.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: You have to start taking steps. in order to improve
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: your vision, improve your perspective, change your perspective, make some
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: kind of progress, and worst case scenario, you figure out
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: that you walked the wrong direction. Okay, now you can
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: go walk in the other direction. What you learn to
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: do is, okay, I'm gonna go forward, I'm not gonna quit,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: so I'm gonna go forward, bring it on. And I
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: think if there's anything that you learn, it's to keep
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: pushing through things that suck. So if you lack the
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: discipline to exercise and eat healthy you will end up
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: being a slave to disease. If you lack the discipline
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: to work hard save your money you will end up
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: a slave to finances. If you lack the discipline to
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: manage your time correctly you will end up with no
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: free time. If you have self-discipline, if you have the
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: discipline to save your money and work hard and invest
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: your money properly, if you have the discipline to manage
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: your time correctly and not waste a bunch of time,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: if you have the discipline to exercise and eat healthy,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: you will end up with freedom. You've got to be
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: aggressive to make things happen. I mean, if you don't,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: if you're not aggressive with things, they don't happen. They
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: don't move. So you're always learning and growing. And I
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: was always learning until the day I retired. And people
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: can actually confront the fact that this is all because
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: of me. And this is, it hurts, but it's also
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: unbelievably empowering because if these problems are because of me,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: then I'm capable of fixing these problems. So even though
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: extreme ownership hurts and is painful, it's also liberating because
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: now you have control over your fate and over your destiny,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: and that is a glorious thing. I'm not saying take
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: your emotions out of the calculus, but they have to
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: be one component of your calculus, not the whole equation.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: The equation has to include emotions, yes, logic, yes, Future, yes. Goals, yes. Family, yes. Work, yes. Finances, yes.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: All those things have to be in the calculus. Emotions
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: has to be a part of that calculus. You can't
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: pull them out of there or they'll bite you. But
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: you can't make them the overwhelming denominator of everything that
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: you do or it's going to be problematic. Extreme ownership
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: is this went wrong, this failed, didn't accomplish this, And
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: it's not the fault of my boss. It's not the
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: fault of my girlfriend. It's not the fault of my parents.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: It's not the fault of the weather. It's my fault.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to take ownership of it and I'm
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: going to fix it. That's what extreme ownership is. And
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: this is a very difficult thing to do because it hurts.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Because when you look around at your life and you
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: look around at your job and your financial situation and
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: your relationship and your physical health, when you look at
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: all those things and all the problems that you may
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: have with those things, and you say, the reason I
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: have all those problems is because of me, that can hurt.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: That can sting. And a lot of times our ego
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: rejects that and makes excuses and lies. And then we
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: don't have to change anything. And then nothing changes. So again,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I would love to be able to, you know, give
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: you this profound anchor that people need to have. But
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh, do you want to do this or not?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Which is what I think a lot of it boils
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: down to. Do you actually want to do this or not?
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Do you actually want to do this or not? Because
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: if you actually want to do it, what's going to
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: stop you? Nothing. And if you don't really want to
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: do it, What's going to stop you? Just about anything
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: that comes up. Just about any obstacle that gets in
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: your way becomes an excuse. It becomes a reason. It
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: becomes a rationale for not proceeding down that path. If
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I want to have influence over you, what do I
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: have to do? I actually have to allow you to
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: influence me. How do I get you to trust me?
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: I have to put trust in you. One of the
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: worst situations you can be in is when you think
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: that the little moves that you're making, no one can
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: see them. And it's so obvious to everybody else. Everybody
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: else that's watching can see exactly what you're doing. You think, oh,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: they can't see the maneuvers that I'm making to take
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: care of myself. No, they see, everybody sees, and it
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: ends up destroying you. I have to open my mind
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: up and allow you to influence me. If I just
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: stick with my own ideas, you close your mind as well.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: If I have a closed mind, you're going to close
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: my mind. If I want you to care about me,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: what do I have to do? I have to care
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: about you. And by the way, in my opinion, these
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: are the components of a relationship. Yes, yes, definitely. If
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: we listen to each other, we have... If we don't
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: listen to each other, we don't have a relationship. Yeah.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: If we don't respect each other, we don't have a relationship.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: If we're not influenced by each other, we don't have
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: a relationship. So... If we don't care about each other,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: obviously we don't have a relationship. So when you want
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: to build a relationship, what do you have to do?
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: You have to listen to the other person. By the way,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: this applies to your employees. It applies to your kids.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: It applies to your spouse. It applies to everyone. If
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: you want them to listen to you, you have to
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: listen to them. And you can't just... you know i'll
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: stop talking as i prepare my counter for what you're
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: saying right now it's like i'm literally going to listen
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: to what you have to say and try and open
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: up my mind and open up my perspective so that
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: i understand your world as as well as i possibly
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: can i'm going to integrate that into what my thoughts
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: are and we're going to come to an understanding we're
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: going to move forward with a better solution so the
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: idea of barking orders the military or any organization can
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: be run through authoritarian dictatorship. Look, you can make it
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: work for a little while, but it's not a long-term solution,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: and that's what you gotta watch out for. What do
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I do when my boss wants all the credit? What
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: do I do? And what do I do when I've
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: got a young individual that has a lot of potential,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: but they're not really Taking advantage of it. They're not
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: motivated to make things happen. What do I do then?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: So many kids these days miss out on the fact
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: of the correlation between working and studying and pushing yourself
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: to the results that you get. It's what I think
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: hurts kids is they don't connect what they're doing now
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: with the future. I know I didn't. You know, when
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, I was, you know, what's the future?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: It's tomorrow. The future is, oh, the weekend. You don't realize, oh,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: you can actually set yourself up. What you're doing today
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: is connected to the future. Okay, once you make that connection,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: you say, okay, maybe I'll study. Maybe I'll train. Maybe
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I'll work out harder. You can start doing those things
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: because you can improve and you can have a better life. Sure,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: are there some kids that are going to be able
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: to do pull-ups out of the gate? Sure. Are there
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: some kids that can learn their timetables really quickly? Sure.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: You're not going to be great at everything, but you
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: can get better as long as you have the discipline,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: put your mind to it, and are willing to work hard.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: If I'm manipulating you, I'm trying to get you to
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: do something. If I'm leading you, I'm trying to get
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: you to do something. And many of the tools are
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: very similar. So what's the difference between me leading you
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: and me manipulating you? It's very easy for me to
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: answer that question. If I'm manipulating you, I'm trying to
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: get you to do something that's gonna benefit me. If
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I'm leading, I'm trying to get you to do something
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: that's going to benefit you, it's going to benefit the team,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: and it's going to benefit the mission. So for me,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: those are too easy. Those are too easy. It's real obvious.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: And by the way, if I'm a manipulator, I can
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: get away with that for a little while, but eventually
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: you're going to look at me for what I am.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: You're going to see that the maneuvers I'm making, the
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: tools I'm using, I'm utilizing those tools for my own benefit.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: And as soon as you see that, you won't fully
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: support me. You won't. The same goes for when I'm
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: trying to make you do something good for yourself and
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: for the team. You're going to see that too. And
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: you're going to say, he actually cares about me. That's
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: what he's doing this for. And when you know I
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: care about you, you'll do anything for me. I mean,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: that's what it boils down to. Oh, I want to
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: give you hard criticism. How do I give you hard criticism?
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: The first thing I have to do is make sure
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: that you understand I care about you. Which is not
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: easy to do. And it's not always obvious. But if
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: you know that more than anything else, what I want
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: is for you to be successful, when I say, hey, Tom,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at the outcome of the last project and
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: you were like three weeks past the time, I think
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: there's some things that we can do to kind of
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: make you a little bit more efficient in leading these things.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: If you know that my number one thing is that
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: I care about you, you're going to be all ears
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: to an extent. Because guess what percentage of the world
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: is truly open for criticism? Oh, it's tiny. There's so
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: few people that are truly open to criticism. How do
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: you gain influence and respect? Like what's that process? If
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I want to gain the ability to influence you, well
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: then what I have to do is give you the
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: ability to influence me. And when I say, hey, here's
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: what we're trying to make happen. Here's what I want
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: to do. And you say, well, I think we should
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: do it like this. You know what I should say? Okay, well,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: let's take a look at that. The more I allow
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: you to influence me, the more open your mind gets
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: for me to influence you. Respect, same thing. If I
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: treat you like you're a plebe, like you don't matter,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: you're not going to respect me at all. But if
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I treat you with respect, and respect you, when you
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: try and talk to me and I listen and I
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: respect what you're saying and I try and understand it fully,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: then your respect for me is gonna go up as well.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: So when you wanna earn respect, give respect. When you
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: wanna earn influence, give influence. When you wanna earn trust,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: give trust. All those three are related. There's a word
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: that people bring up a lot and I think they're
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: pretty interchangeable and it's relationships and trust, right? Trust is
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: built on relationships, relationships are built on trust. If you
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: don't trust me, we don't really have a relationship. The
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: more deeply you trust me, the better relationship we have.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: When I say that relationships are the most important thing
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: in getting things done, when I look back at my
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: career in the Navy and the SEAL teams, just about
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: every single thing that I ever did was through relationships.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: So the amount of times that I looked at one
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: of my subordinates and said, no, you will do what
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: I'm saying because I'm in charge. I don't think I
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: actually honestly ever said that one single time. I think
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: it was always, Hey, this is what we got to
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: get done. How do you think we should do it?
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Do you think this is smart? and it was all
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: based on relationships and up the chain of command too.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: There was never a time that one of my bosses said,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: hey Jocko, shut up and you do what I told
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: you to do. There was never a time that one
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: of my bosses said that to me. There was, you know,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: if I had a question, if I pushed back, they
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: gave me legitimate answers. If they didn't have good answers,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: then they would modulate or change what it is that
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: they were telling me to do. So how do I
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: build trust with you? So if you're above me in
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: the chain of command, If you ask me to do
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: something as my boss, I do it. And I do
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: it well. And I do it consistently. And I go
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: above and beyond what you ask. And if you want
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: me to deliver this project by this date, I deliver
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: it earlier and I deliver it to the best of
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: my ability above and beyond what you expected. And you say,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: oh wow, when I ask Jocko to do something, he
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: actually does it. And that's where it starts. It starts
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: with that right there. With me performing, me offering advice,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: me Me taking what you asked me to do and
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: doing it. That's the number one thing. If we flip
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: those roles and now I'm in charge of you, how
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: do I build trust with you? Well, what I do
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: is I give you a project. And instead of me
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: giving you a project and then saying, hey, here's how
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I want you to do this and here's how I
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: want you to do the next part. Instead I say, hey,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: here's a project. Let me know how you want to
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: do it. And then you go figure out how you
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: want to get done. And I don't micromanage you and
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I don't ask you a million questions about and tell you, no,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: don't do it like that. Do it like this. I
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: let you do it. And what does that tell you?
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: That tells you that I trust you. I trust you.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: And when I trust you, you start to trust me.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: And by the way, if something goes wrong, instead of
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: me jumping down your throat and hanging you out to
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: dry and making you an example in front of everyone,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I say, hey, let's figure out what went wrong. Did
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: I not support you well enough? Did I not give
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: you what you needed? And so you realize, oh, he's
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: not going to hang me out to dry. He's going
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: to give me the support. He's going to try and
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: teach me if something goes wrong instead of try and
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: drop the hammer on me. Now, when I ask questions,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: this is a tool, but it's also legitimate questions. So,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: when I say, hey, Tom, here's the project I want
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: you to get done. Can you take a look at
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: it and tell me how you want to get it done?
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: And you come back to me, you know, three days later,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: and you say, hey, boss, I was looking at this thing,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: and it's just not possible. And I don't say, well, actually,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: it is possible, because I've already thought it through. Here's
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: how you need to do it. Instead, I go, well...
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: What do you think our real challenges are? And then
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: you say, well, you know, we can't get the supplies
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: in time. And then you say, well, and also we
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: don't have enough manning. And I say, okay, well, what's
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: taking the supplies so long to get here? And you say, well,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: you know, they're coming across the country on a truck.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: And so it's going to take a week and a
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: half for them to get here. And we don't have
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: enough people because it's going to take 190 man hours
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: in this amount of time. And I only have three guys.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: So it's impossible. And I go... Is there any other
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: way to ship stuff across the country? I guess we could.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: We could fly, but it's gonna be more expensive. Oh, okay. Well,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: how much more expensive? You see what I'm saying? And
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: so eventually, eventually you're gonna come to the solution. You're
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: gonna come to the solution. And I'm going to be
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: happy that you come to the solution. Or there's a
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: chance that you actually say, hey, Jocko, it's not possible.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: And here's why. And you tell me something that I
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: didn't foresee. Because I'm at a higher level. I'm elevated.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I'm working on, I'm overseeing 14 different projects. You just
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: got one. And when you dig in and you pull
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: the thread, you realize it can't be done. I go, oh. Okay. Well, I, I,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. Okay. I'm legitimately asking these questions. I'm not,
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing this. Okay. Well, we're going to get
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: you there and that's, what's going to happen. I already
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: know the outcome. No, I think I know the outcome,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: but I'm not sure of it. You know how many
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: times I'm sure of what the outcome is going to be?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Not very often. So that the truth is I am,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: I'm being totally transparent. I'm asking legitimate questions. I think
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: I know the answers. I think they're going to lead
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: to the right place. It's okay to let that run
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: its course. So most of the time people don't want
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: to get that direct feedback. And in fact, sometimes when
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I hear people say, you know, I'm just going to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: get direct with this person, you know, I'm just going to,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to let them know exactly what they're
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: screwing up. Almost always, that's a bad idea. Now, and
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: there's some people that sit there and they say, well,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: that's weak or whatever, but it's not because I'm going
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: to get the message to you. I'm just going to
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: deliver it in a way that you accept it more,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: that your mind is open to it. That's what I'm
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: trying to do as a leader, as a friend, as
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: someone that cares about you. Hey, look, I need to
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: get this information to you. Now, this will escalate over time.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: And if I've tried, you know, if I said, hey, Tom,
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: I think we can do this better, and you still fail.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: And I say, hey, Tom, maybe you should try this,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: and you still fail. And then I say, hey, Tom,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: I think this is the way you should go, and
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: you still fail. I'm going to get to a point
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: where I'm saying, listen, Tom, this isn't working. The way
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: you are doing this is not working. And I told
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: you this, and I told you that, and I told
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: you the other thing. And what I'm trying to say
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: is that you need to change this part of your game.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: It is hurting you. Almost never do you get someone
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: that is so thick-headed that they're not going to listen
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: to you. And when they are, it's because they have
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: a giant ego. It's because their ego, they can't see
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: the fact that, oh, I'm making some real bad mistakes.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: And by the way, when you've delivered them that final
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: message of like, hey, here's exactly what you're screwing up,
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: what they say is, you know, no, you just don't
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: know what it's like in my shoes. And that's when
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: you know you can't help them. So you have to
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: detach from your emotions, you have to get control of them,
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: and you have to make sure that you lead your
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: men in the right direction so they don't do something
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: that is not the right thing to do. The madder
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: you get, the more aggressive you are, the more you're
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: gonna get beat down, and the worse it's gonna be.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: So you have to learn to control your emotions, no
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: doubt about it. And then what you have to do
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: is you have to start practicing all the time. You
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: have to start paying attention. The red flags that go
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: up When I start raising my voice at you, I go, oh,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: that's your emotion. And for me, like the minute I
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: feel some sort of anger, some sort of jealousy, some
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: sort of Frustration, most of the time, I go, oh,
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: you're getting mad, that's your ego. You're getting emotional about this.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Take a step back and listen to what the other
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: person's saying. Take a step back and try and see
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: it from their perspective. Take a step back and try
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: and understand what they're trying to say. Just help people
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: learn the lessons that I've learned so they don't have
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: to learn them for themselves. There's a lot of mistakes
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: that I've made. I've been blessed that I've been very
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: lucky to have been through what I've been through, to
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: have been around the people that I've been around, to
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: learn the things that I've been blessed and lucky enough
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: to be able to learn. and I don't want to
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: hoard them I want to give them away. So that's
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: why I'm doing what I'm doing and trying to help
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: people as much as I can