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What It Means When A Narcissist Starts Accusing You Of Things · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be talking about what it means when a
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  narcissist starts accusing you of stuff, like when they accuse
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  you of doing something that's out of this world or something.
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  Something that's absolutely is mind blowing or crazy or just
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  unbelievable. What does it mean?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Let's go.
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  Boom welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back yes y'all
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  these damn accusations. What do they mean y'all?
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  I know it looks before we hop too deep, y'all make sure if you
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  haven't already hit that subscribe button hit.
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  Let's go ahead and climb closer to that elusive 500K.
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  TikTok is getting shut down tonight at midnight, apparently.
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  And who knows what happens if you only follow me on TikTok,
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  make sure you hit the subscribe button.
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  But yes, yeah, narcissistic people, they're accusations.
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  I know people are already going to say let's go ahead and get it
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  out the way early. Let's let's, let's go ahead and
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  tackle it early, right? Well, Lee, narc, the narcissist
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  accusations are literally confessions.
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  Yeah, a lot of times they are right.
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  A lot of times a narcissist confession accusations
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  absolutely are confessions of what they are actually doing.
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  We are. I feel like a lot of people know
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  that. I feel like we as a contingent
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  know that, right? We know that most a lot of
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  narcissistic people, when they're accusing you of
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  something, especially if it if it's out of nowhere, like
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  they're accusing you of something like out of left
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  field, right field, whatever you want to say.
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  If they're accusing you of something, it just seems like
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  what the hell is going on here? Like, what?
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  Why would you accuse me of this? Why are you saying this to me?
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  Blah, blah. Yeah, they're typically the ones
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  that are doing it right. If they accusing you of cheating
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  on cheating on them out of nowhere, typically they're the
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  ones that cheating, right. If they're accusing you of
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  taking money or drinking again or whatever it may be, typically
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  it's them the one they're doing it right.
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  You see what I'm saying? So a lot of times their
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  accusations are absolutely confessions and to be treated as
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  such, right? They should, they should be, you
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  know, out of nowhere, you, you should start getting suspicious
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  like don't brush, don't brush this under the rug, right?
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  If out of nowhere, like like like literally out of nowhere,
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  do not brush it under under the rug because it's kind of like
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  you're letting the evidence go, right?
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  It's kind of like you letting me the, the biggest red flag fly
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  away, like the little the little red flag butterfly has floated.
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  The little red flag butterfly has floated right into your lap,
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  right? It it came out of nowhere.
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  I was like you like, oh, that's a beautiful butterfly.
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  Why is it all red? Oh, they're accusing me of what
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  they're doing. Huh.
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  Maybe accusations are confessions.
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  Maybe I should. Maybe I should keep this.
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  Maybe I should. No, it's it's such a beautiful
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  butterfly. I should let it fly away and let
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  it stay free. So you ignore it, right?
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  You see it, It's right in front of your face.
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  And then you decide to ignore it.
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  And then you look silly. You feel silly later on because
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  it's right there in front of your face.
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  Because they were accusing you of it out of nowhere.
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  They're accusing you of something just heinous, like
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  something something that you would never do.
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  It seems like it's made-up out of left field, right?
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  It's you, you just like what the hell?
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  What the hell is going on? What did I do?
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  What, what, what what is going on here?
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  And you can like out. You were literally confused as
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  hell, right? And it's, and it's crazy because
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  like say again that it could be, could be absolutely just be a
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  confession or you know of what they themselves are out here
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  doing cheating, lying. Like it doesn't have to be
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  cheating. I know I always say cheating,
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  but it doesn't have to be cheating.
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  It could be being abusive. They can accuse you of being
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  abusive. They can accuse you of be not
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  validating their feelings. They can accuse you of being a
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  pathological liar. They can accuse you of just not
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  listening to them ever. They can accuse you of being
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  selfish and manipulative, of gaslighting them, right?
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  They can accuse you of doing those things.
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  It doesn't have to be cheating. So a lot of times the
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  accusations, the things that they're accusing you of, the
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  things that they're saying that you are doing are absolutely
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  just confessions, right? Another thing, it could mean
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  when they start accusing you, it said that like, yeah, they're
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  afraid, right? They could be.
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  The accusations could absolutely be confessions or what they're
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  accusing you of end up being their biggest fears, their
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  biggest insecurities. They are laying literally saying
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  out loud for you. They're literally laying out
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  their biggest insecurities to you when they're confessing to
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  you. Like when they're accusing you
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  of something, like they're telling you exactly what they
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  themselves are afraid of. They're literally listening out,
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  you know, listening out for you. So you can, you absolutely
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  understand it. This is like, whoa, are you
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  cheating to me? You've been coming home. 5 You
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  know, you're supposed to be at home at 8:30.
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  You get here at 8:33. That's more than enough time to
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  stop at your affair partner's house and get your cheeks
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  clapped. Just three minutes.
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  What are you? What are you?
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  Who are who is that? Who are, who is he?
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  Who is she? You know what I'm saying?
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  That's literally what it could be like.
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  They're a confet. They're accusing you of what
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  they themselves are absolutely afraid of.
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  That's it? It could be.
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  It could. Yeah.
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  It could get that deep right there.
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  They could be telling you their fears.
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  And I've been telling a lot of people.
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  Ask me what? What's narcissist's biggest
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  fear? What are they accusing you of?
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  Right. Are they accusing you of wanting
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  to leave them? Because that's big.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's one of their biggest
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  fears. You going to leave me, aren't
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  you? You want to leave, don't you?
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  I can just tell by the way you. You don't treat me the same
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  anymore. You're saying things here,
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  things are different. I can just tell things are
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  different between us. You don't want to be.
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  You don't want to be here anymore, do you?
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  Just tell me straight up. You don't want to be here no
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  more, do you? I can just feel it.
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  I can feel it. Be real.
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  Be real with me. Tell me straight up.
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  That's the biggest fear. Again.
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  Just because they're afraid of it, of you leaving doesn't mean
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  that they would treat you any better to keep you there, right?
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  Just because they're telling you their biggest fears doesn't mean
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  that they would treat you any better.
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  Did not have those biggest fears come to come true, right?
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  Just know that right there, because that's a that's a that's
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  a truth of the world. That's one of the truths of the
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  world right there, because just because they tell you if they're
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  afraid of it doesn't mean they're going to change their
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  behaviors in any way, shape or form.
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  It does. It absolutely just does not mean
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  that y'all just because they I'm afraid of this happening.
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  So they don't mean they're going to change anything.
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  They don't mean anything's going to be different.
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  That just means that they're afraid of it right, so that big
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  there they could be telling you absolutely telling you their
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  biggest fears, right. So that's that's we were right
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  there. The biggest insecurities.
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  Another thing y'all, when they start accusing you of thing and
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  then when they start accusing your stuff, they could be bored.
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  This is a new one. You might not have heard
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  anywhere right. We might not hear the other
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  ones, but like they could absolutely just be bored as hell
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  and just want to pick a fight with you.
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  So they start accusing you of stuff, right?
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  They can start accusing yourself out of nowhere because just to
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  antagonize you, they feel like they haven't messed with you in
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  a long time. They just started argument out
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  of nowhere. You like, what the hell?
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  Like, why would you? You know, I would never do
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  anything like that. But they're talking to you like
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  they are, right? They're talking to you like they
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  think, like they think you would be doing something like that,
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  right? That's what ends up happening.
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  It really does. You know, that's what that's
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  that's the piece of stuff that ends up happening.
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  They treat you like they are going to do this type of stuff.
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  Yeah, that that that is a they treat you on top, on top of
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  things right here. Let's not tell people that's,
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  that's literally what I tell so many people, right.
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  They are trying to, you know, start an argument.
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  They're trying to get exactly, sometimes they started starting
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  argument. They don't have to be bored.
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  They could want to go out and do something.
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  They can want to go out and lie and cheat and stuff like that.
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  And wreak havoc or go out and just have fun with their friends
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  or whatever. They just have an excuse to not
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  be around you, to have an excuse to not be with you.
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  So sometimes they will start these arguments and stuff
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  seemingly out of nowhere or start these crazy accusations
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  seemingly out of nowhere just to have an excuse to go do whatever
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  they want to do. This happens quite a bit.
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  They just started a big ass argument.
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  I know where you like, what the hell is going on?
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  You like what? I didn't even do anything, you
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  know, out of nowhere, these crazy ass arguments, they want
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  to go out there and do something and they they don't want you to
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  be involved in it. So just be prepared for that as
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  well, because sometimes they will accuse yourself just so
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  they can go out here and have quote UN quote fun, like just so
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  they can have an excuse to leave the house and not necessarily be
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  around you or whatever the case may be.
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  Just be prepared. Yeah, this happens too.
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  They we were arguing. Well, I thought they start
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  accusing you of just outlandish ass stuff so they can have the
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  excuse to go out here and do something behind your back and
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  so they could not feel bad. It's kind of how they, how a lot
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  of narcissistic people justify some of their behaviors, right?
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  It's like how they justify some of the stuff that they do.
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  It is crazy how the mind works in those circumstances, in those
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  situations, right? It really, really is, and I say
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  this as well, y'all, when they start accusing yourself out of
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  nowhere, it could be a sign of like paranoia.
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  This this is got. It could be a sign of like
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  things are getting dangerous because sometimes they
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  absolutely believe the things that they're accusing you of.
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  They might not be cheating. They might not want to pick a
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  fight. They might not just just abort
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  or whatever the situation may be.
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  Sometimes they might not be confessing like they might
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  absolutely believe what they're accusing you of.
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  And this is when things can get very, very sticky.
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  This is when things your relationship can get damn near
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  get very, very dangerous with this person because in their
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  minds, they believe you actually have done something and they're
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  accusing you of it. Like para, like paranoia runs
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  very rampant with narcissistic people, right?
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  It's just like I'm paranoid. Like in the paranoia, it's
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  making me do and say things like making me afraid.
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  These are my, I'm afraid as hell of certain things happening or
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  transpiring. So I accuse you of these things.
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  And I absolutely believe these things, right?
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  When I accuse you of something you don't even like, you have
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  proof that you didn't do it. In my mind, I'm making up
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  reasons why that I'm making up reasons to invalidate whatever
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  proof that you have, right? You can have all the proof in
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  the world that you did not do something.
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  And I in my mind, I'm making up scenarios as to why your proof
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  doesn't matter, why your proof is your proof is irrelevant, why
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  your proof doesn't carry any weight, why you just did this,
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  why this just happened right here.
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  I just tell this to so many people like this is a scenario
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  that so many people will face. Like you might have somebody
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  that's absolutely losing their minds.
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  And that's when it can get very, very scary, right?
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  You have to be safe and protect yourself because if they're
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  paranoid and accusing you of stuff, they could absolutely be
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  losing it, right? And when they start losing it,
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  they can very well their minds can be, you know, pretty much
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  shot. I had a woman in my support
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  group. This is my you can find the link
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  to my support group, my coaching courses, everything is at
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  mentalillness.net scrolled across the bottom of the screen.
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  I had a woman in my support group originally.
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  I haven't talked to her in a while.
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  She she had to leave in the group, but her husband was
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  paranoid as hell. Like it sounded like he was
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  having a psychotic break because he was accusing her of stuff and
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  accusing her of like spying on him or hiring, hiring a private
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  investigator or whatever it was. So he, this man was losing his
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  mind so much. So he, he started put, he put,
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  he put there to have curtains up.
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  He started putting sheets. He started, he, he literally
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  took a nail gun and nail gunned like blankets on every window.
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  So there's no light in the house.
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  It's dark as hell. Like a prison.
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  It became like a prison in there.
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  And he kept accusing her of stuff, doing stuff that she
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  could not possibly have done. You know, he would keep her up
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  late at night, making her she's like, you go trying to make her
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  confess the stuff that she did not do.
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  And sometimes she would just confess so that she could go to
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  she can get some sleep. But you know what happened when
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  you when you when you confess just to just get them to be
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  quiet. OK, Whatever you whatever you
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  said I done, I did. It makes it more paranoid
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  because now they're going to lose their mind more.
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  It's like you actually done it. You did it.
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  I can't believe you. I knew it, you know, And he
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  justified their paranoia. So the next time they accuse you
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  or something, they don't need proof.
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  They know to trust their instinct, right?
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  They can trust their instincts with you and they don't
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  necessarily need any type of proof or whatever.
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  So they can just go about it, go about it any way that they want
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  to go about it. So you have to like it can get
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  very, very dangerous. Like I said, she ended up she
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  used to hop on the zoom call. So we have she's been on her
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  crying because she'd be sad as hell.
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  Like she'd be extremely sad and out of it and it would be so it
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  would be, it would be so it would be sad to to hear her
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  crying. And I mean, it was just
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  horrible. And then she end up leaving the
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  group. Nobody talked to her in a while.
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  You know, I've emailed her, haven't got a response.
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  Oh, she's OK. But paranoia, their paranoia can
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  lead to them accusing you of stuff that you could not
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  possibly be doing. Things that are so far outside
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  of your character that it makes you just think you like what?
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  This is outside of my character. I'm not like this.
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  I'm I would never do. I would never do anything like
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  this. So hell, now you mean this is
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  the space that so many people fall into, So you have to be
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  careful y'all when you're doing this personality site anyway,
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  y'all got to hop off here. I got a one-on-one.
• 13:55
  I have to do coaching, coaching courses, groups.
• 13:59
  Everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 14:01
  Make sure you subscribe to the channel if you haven't already.
• 14:03
  And it's always y'all. It's always been tuned this out.
• 14:06
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 14:08
  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 14:11
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 14:13
  to the channel. Helps reach more people and
• 14:15
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 14:17
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 14:19
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 14:22
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 14:23
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 14:25
  video. Peace.