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Transcript

SMNTY Classics: An Ace on Our Sleeve · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. Don't got to stephone
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: never told you production of iHeartRadio. And it is June
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three, which means we are in Pride month.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: So we have a bunch of classics around pride, queer
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: stuff issues, all of that to come. Unfortunately, there's a
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: lot of bad news have to talk about, but we
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: will talk about it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Started.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: This isn't really bad news, but I got this headline
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: that the day because Google sends me these updates even
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: though I've tried to turn it off several times. Apparently
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: there's a trend. Have you heard of this, Samantha, the
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: good luck dying alone? No, apparently it's just apparently people
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: online are just getting into fights about people who are
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: single and happy and saying good luck diying alone, which
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: of course they are, of course they are. So as
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: someone who feels pretty confident through the show, you all
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: heard me kind of coming out and realizing I'm asexual
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: and still like pondering some of the specifics, but you know,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: good luck dying alone, I say, I will have my
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: friends by my.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Side, exactly. Yes.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, So there are a couple of classics I wanted
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: to bring back around just my my kind of coming out.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: So here's the first one. Please enjoy. Hey, this is
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff. I never told
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: you a protection of iHeart radio. And it's time for
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: another happy hour, and this one's gonna be mostly happy.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Although there will be some unhappy parts of it. I'm
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: mostly happy.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Is that another segment?
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: How it should be? I like it. I think that's
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: more accurate to most of the h that's always.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: If you are choosing to drink, please do so responsibly.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Samantha, what are you sipping on?
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Uh? You know, I discovered the Brooklyn Summer Pale all.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: It is nice and crisp and low abb Uh it's
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: called the Sunny Pill l and thoroughly. So that's what
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: I'm drinking on today. What about you?
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Well, I just lamented to you that I have no
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: cold drinks available to me right now, so I am
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: drinking boxed red wine in my delicious hot hot studio closet.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: You could, you know, fancy it up, but I think ice.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I've never added ice to straight boxed red wine, and
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I have to say my immediate reaction is like recoiling.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: Drinking box wine baby boo. I mean no hate on
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: box wine. I love some boxed wine. I'm just saying that's.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: What's making you recoil.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I think you'll be okay. But I get you. I
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: get you. Yeah, like a sangria. Yeah, I get it.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I mean it's true, You're right. Maybe I'm drawing lines
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: or they don't need to thank you, thank you. I
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: mean it's not.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Bad, but it is quite hot, and I would love
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: a refreshing, cool beverage, right alas Olas, Well, so today's
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: July fifth, so we're out of Pride month.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: But I did want to do kind of a little update.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: That I shared with Samantha because it's sort of a
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: powerful moment I experienced recently, and it happened after we
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: had our now real friend, I know, I r L
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: friend Kate Osborne, who was a guest on this show
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: a couple whiles back. We met at a restaurant and
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: we had a lovely lunch together, delicious. We did we
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: made a friend as an adult, Samantha, Yeah, we did it.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: We did that too. You and I were.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Yes, I mean, like a few of them, and it's
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: nice to have.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: It is funny though, because it feels like a setup
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: in a weird way. You and I kind of happened naturally,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But a lot of times when I've personally made friends
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: as an adult, it's felt kind of like a setup
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: or something.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: What if they don't like me?
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: I mean to be fair, we did sit like we
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: were interviewing Kate at one pos, so that was super awkward.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It was awkward, but it was It turned out to
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: be lovely and it was great. I think we're going
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: to hang out again, you know, fingers crossed. I don't
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: think she's lying to us, but.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I hope not.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: But she posted about the episode we did together on
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: ADHD and Sex and also the episode I was on
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: on her show about just D and D and fangirl stuff.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And after that, I got a lot of followers, A lot.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I mean for me, a lot is like five to ten.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And that's essentially what happened. But yeah, that's a lot.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: That's a lot to me. And a lot of them
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: were ACE.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: They were asexual, and they kind of reached out to
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: me and we're like, oh, hi, I see you. No,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I nice to meet another person who's ACE. And I
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: broke down into tears. Samita.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I started cry.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Because I just like it felt like a belonging I
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: haven't felt because I've been I've told people I was
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: queer since high school, but it's always been something where
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I've felt like I'm on the outskirts of it and
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I had no right to claim the label, and like,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like if I went to a Pride event,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: they'd see me.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: And be like, no, you don't belong here. You are fake.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: And as I said in many of these episodes, I
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: didn't know a sexuality was a thing until twenty eleven
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: when I was working on this show. I didn't know
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: like there was a romantic spectrum until even later, I think.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And I pretty much came out to you all on
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: this podcast like that.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Was my experience.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I have come out to people in person since then,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: but everyone I've come out to and this is this
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: is gonna.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Sound kind of bad, but I think it's true.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: It's partly my fault because I've done it in sort
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: of the cowardly.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Way, like a little back doorway, like.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I don't like sex, and that's how I didify asexuality.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Is a thing, right, and then they'll be like yeah, sure.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: So it's sort of been like that kind of roundabout method.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: So a lot of people who do know I'm a
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: sexual found out through the show. So what I'm saying
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: is basically, I've done it, and it kind of an
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: isolated environment, kind of a strange, strange way to do it,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: but you know, every fuddy's story is different. I'm a
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: big believer in that. But and also the pandemic hit
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: like soon after, so I don't know, it's just felt
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: very I'm not sure lonely is the right word, but
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I've still felt very unsure about it, and like I
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: couldn't claim it or someone would tell me I'm wrong,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: like that's not a.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Thing which people have.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: But but after I got all these people and I
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: saw these people following me back or following me, and
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this is a thing
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: and I've belong and I could like meet people who
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: are like me and it's not just me, and oh
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: my god, I sobbed. I sobbed the way and then
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: like I found out, I was so excited.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I almost sent you this very long text and.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I deleted it because I was like, you need to
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: calm down and think about this first.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: This is how I found out about Twittles because I
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I could put the flag on mine
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: and then on my Twitter account and then I could
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: They would know, but twiddles.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Is a whole thing, that's what they're called.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you told me about it, so we're gonna actually
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: be planning an episode on that. But those are basically
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: the icons you can have in your Twitter bio, and
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: it's kind of a politics game, sort of similar to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: like emoji's about which ones are made which aren't. But
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: I found like the asexual flag with a bi romantic heart,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: and it just so happened that night one of my
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: very favorite fan fiction authors sort of story about someone
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: who is asexual bi romantic.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And it was so sweet. Oh my gosh.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: But like I know, the capitalization of Pride month is
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: a whole thing and it's a problem.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: But I bought a shirt.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Everybody, I bought a shirt, an asexual Pride shirt, and
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I bought some pins and I bought a flag.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, and it was just
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: so nice.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: It was like something was clicking into place where it's
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: sort of just been slightly out of place this whole time.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: And I all of you, we always say it, and
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: it's true. But so many of you have written in
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: and you've been so welcoming, and you've told me about
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: your own experience and even some of you specifically this
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: asexual biromantics experience or asexual spectrum at all, and it's.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Been so nice.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: But I've still always felt like I haven't been in
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: this world long. I haven't known myself long enough. It's
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: not right for me to clean it. So it's it
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: was just it felt good. It felt good. I got
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: a bunch of pin We're gonna put.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Them all over.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was really nice. It was like
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: an easing of tension, I guess. And all this just
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: came from seeing other people who are identify the same way.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: So thank you, if you're listening, thank you. So sure
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you had no idea this impact on me, but it did,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: it did.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: So Yeah, I'm very excited. My shirt's coming in today.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, I was gonna say when is it coming in?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: It's coming in today, and I'm gonna rocket at the
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: beach because I'm about to go to the beach.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Nice, you've got like an ACE card on it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: You can take the flag too, yeah.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Probably, but the ole the flag is a lot of
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: drama people.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you can imagine why. But I have family members.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Who are not as cool with queer people, and it
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: CAUs there's a lot of gossip in trauma.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: But they wouldn't know what that flag was.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Say, I wonder how many people would know what it is.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I don't think they would know, but they would ask, eh, whatever,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: we'll see how much drama.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I want to call some of my beach trip oh oh,
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I will, oh, I will. I'm excited for you to
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: see the shirt. Pretty cool. I think it's pretty cool.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I did want to mention, very briefly, there has been
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of sad stuff during Pride this year, where
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: there's violence at Pride events and now with throw v
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: wait overturned. I've had a lot of friends who are
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: in gay marriages that are very scared. I've had friends
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: who've come out to their parents recently and partly because
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: of this, and haven't had a great reaction.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: But I don't know.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I'm just we should talk about those things, and we
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: will talk about those things. But it is nice to
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: know that there's community and there is belonging. And thank you,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: just thank you, thank you, to you. Samantha for being
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: so supportive on this whole thing with me listening to
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: all my stories.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: We're actually you're like, what is she talking about? But
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you it's good.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, so, and thank you to all of you listeners
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: because it really helped me and it's just like that
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I get to share this story with all of you.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: So cheers, cheers, frand cheers.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Yes And as always, we do love hearing from you.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: If you would like to write to us, you can.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Our email is Stuff Media moms Stuff atiheartmeia dot com.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: or on Instagram at stuff I Never Told You.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Thanks. It's always to our super producer Christina. We love you,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you, we do love you, and thank you.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: told you protection, But iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from my
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: if you listen to your favorite shows