Latest / Unbalanced with Cerys Davage / 41. How to show up for yourself

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41. How to show up for yourself · Unbalanced with Cerys Davage

0:09
Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Unbalanced
0:13
with Me, Kerry Savage. I hope you're all doing well.
0:17
This is the last episode of 2024, which puts a lot of
0:21
pressure on me to deliver a good episode to round up this year
0:26
to, to just end this year on a high.
0:29
It's that time of year when we start reflecting on a year that
0:33
we've had, maybe think about the things we have achieved, maybe
0:36
things that we hope we would but haven't been able to.
0:40
I too have been reflecting on this past year and I guess I
0:45
just really wanted to dedicate this episode to ourselves and
0:50
showing up for ourselves in the best ways possible.
0:54
It's very easy to just get caught up in the motions and
0:58
compare yourself with other people.
0:59
I've spoken about this before in previous episodes, and it's just
1:04
really easy to miss the things that you've done and miss what
1:09
this year has become for you and not stop and reflect and and
1:14
just appreciate how far you've come.
1:16
Maybe appreciate how lucky you've been, but maybe it's not
1:19
always luck. I'll get into that.
1:21
And so, yeah, this episode is just going to be focused on the
1:25
best ways to show up for yourself.
1:27
And I think that'll be a nice way to end this year.
1:31
But first, let's talk about me. I'll catch you up on what I've
1:35
been up to. I've got to start by saying, if
1:38
you guys haven't seen Wicked yet, you need to go and see it
1:41
in your local cinema. I went to see it a couple weeks
1:44
ago and I'm obsessed. The casting is amazing, the
1:48
singing, the set, the the directing.
1:51
I could really get into detail about this, but honestly this
1:55
will make your week. If you haven't seen it, go and
1:58
watch it. So that was definitely a big
2:01
highlight. I've been waiting for this for
2:04
so long and I'm so glad it's finally out.
2:07
I also went to London, like I mentioned I would, last episode,
2:11
last solo episode. And so yeah, I did that and that
2:14
was good. We had some hurdles travel wise,
2:18
you know, with tube stations being closed and things like
2:21
that. But I really did put myself and
2:24
my physical needs first in this trip and I knew that I would be
2:28
spending more money than maybe I usually would, but that was for
2:32
my own good. That was for the sake of
2:34
protecting my body and not forcing myself to tube stations
2:39
and up and down stairs. And it can be a lot in London.
2:43
I find that it's not very accessible.
2:46
I know that other disabled people's experience might be
2:48
different, but I tried to avoid the tube where I can, which is
2:53
impossible because you have to use the tube really.
2:56
So I just tried to go to accessible stops, but it's
2:59
always hit or miss. With London, you never know what
3:01
stations are going to be closed, you never know what the
3:04
accessibility is going to be like.
3:05
But every time I go it just reminds me that as much as I
3:08
love visiting, it's never a place I'd be able to live in, I
3:12
don't think. I also had an experience I
3:14
didn't think I would talk about, but it's just so needed.
3:18
And unfortunately it's not the first time this has happened to
3:22
me and I've done a whole episode called Not All Disabilities Are
3:26
Visible and unfortunately I had a very humbling experience.
3:31
And so on the Saturday night I was out with my friends for my
3:35
friends birthday and the venue that had been booked for us was
3:40
underground. But as soon as we got there, I
3:42
realised that the stairs had a stair lift.
3:44
So I thought, great, I can use the chairlift when I leave and
3:48
that wouldn't be an issue at all.
3:50
So we really had fun there and it was, it was a really good
3:53
time. But then when it came to
3:55
leaving, I asked the bouncer who was by the door or do you mind
4:00
if I use this chairlift to get back up?
4:02
I'm just not very good with stairs because of my disability.
4:06
And he just stared at me like I had two heads.
4:09
He just looked me up and down and he just couldn't figure out
4:12
if I was joking or not. Which is so silly because why on
4:16
earth would I be joking? Like, personally, I don't have a
4:19
very good relationship with stair lifts.
4:21
And I guess they just have quite a stereotype around them that
4:25
they're only for old people and things like that.
4:27
And so it takes a lot for me to admit that I need to use them.
4:32
And I, you know, that it's better for me to use them rather
4:35
than struggling up the stairs. But I knew to save my energy I
4:39
needed to use the stair lift. But this guy just didn't
4:42
understand. He looked at me standing there
4:45
and he just obviously thought I was completely fine.
4:49
So then he went to grab another woman over and got her involved
4:52
and was like whispering to her. And then she just immediately
4:55
turned around to me and said, sorry, this chair is for
4:57
disabled people only. No, how can I help you?
5:01
No. Is everything OK?
5:03
Just straight into that. So that guy must have said
5:05
something like, oh, can you sort this girl out?
5:07
She's just probably really drunk and wants to have a ride on it,
5:10
which wasn't the case at all, obviously.
5:13
So then I had to explain again, no, I do have a disability.
5:17
And yeah, it was just not what you should expect in quite a
5:21
high profile venue. I'm not going to, you know, just
5:25
call them out on this podcast because I have had words with
5:28
them separately. You may have seen me post
5:30
something about it on my Instagram.
5:32
But the case has been sorted now, which is good.
5:35
But my friends were all stood there behind me like, yeah, she
5:38
had this. She has a disability.
5:39
She's not joking. She really needs this, you know,
5:42
like, backing me up. But yeah, it was just really
5:44
weird that they just wouldn't believe me.
5:47
Eventually, they let me use it, and they just had to kind of
5:51
brush off what they said by saying, oh, you know, like, we
5:54
get a lot of drunk people asking to use it.
5:55
But yeah, it just wasn't fun. And when I finally got to using
5:59
it, some drunk guys walked past me on the stairs and we're like,
6:03
oh, that looks fun. Can I ever go after?
6:04
And I was like, it's not a toy. Like, I was getting so
6:07
defensive, but it's just frustrating that these
6:10
experiences that the bouncers have had with drunk people
6:13
asking to have a ride on it for fun has kind of taken over their
6:18
willingness to let people with invisible disabilities use it.
6:22
And just the lack of education for hidden disabilities was just
6:26
shocking. Yeah, it was a very, very
6:29
humiliating experience. Was not very happy after that,
6:33
but still had fun, still had a good night.
6:35
And luckily, I have a good, strong support system around me.
6:39
My friends were all very supportive and I was able to
6:42
carry on the night. But that experience alone could
6:44
have, like, stopped me from wanting to ever go out again
6:46
because no one should be treated like that.
6:49
And I shouldn't have had to prove my disability.
6:51
You know, I shouldn't have to, you know, struggle up the stairs
6:54
and then potentially fall over to prove to them that I had some
6:57
reason to use the stair lift. So yeah, I just thought I'd hear
7:03
that problem out because it's been on my mind for a while and
7:07
I've been meaning to rant about it and I think it's just
7:10
important for people to realise that.
7:12
I can't believe I'm saying this again, but not all disabilities
7:15
are visible. So yeah, that's where we're at.
7:19
It's almost 2025 and people aren't grasping that concept.
7:24
And I've, I've been to places before, you know, since I know
7:28
people have like said to me that I look really healthy and there
7:32
can't be anything wrong with me at this age.
7:34
But, you know, actually, it does happen.
7:36
And thanks for making me feel so much better about that, by the
7:39
way. Yeah, it's just something I have
7:41
to adjust to is to just admit to people that I might look healthy
7:46
and I might look really fit and I can do anything, but I really
7:50
can't. And it's quite a sad thing to
7:52
say who I don't want to get emotional.
7:56
I did not think I'd be getting emotional on this episode.
7:59
It's not a great experience to have to explain to people that
8:03
actually I'm not as healthy as I look.
8:07
Maybe in other aspects of life, I'm very healthy.
8:09
I'm very fortunate to have a very full life, so I really
8:14
can't complain. But anyway, let's move on.
8:18
I just want to take a second as well to reflect on this past
8:21
year of Unbalanced. I can't believe we've entered
8:25
the second year of Unbalanced being a thing and the fact that
8:30
the podcast has grown to what it is.
8:33
I'm just so, so grateful for all of your love and support.
8:37
I feel like you guys know me really well because I just yap
8:41
about anything that comes to my brain, but I really do
8:43
appreciate it when you guys message me in return as well.
8:46
If you've related to some episodes or if you've just
8:49
really enjoyed it. I really do appreciate your
8:51
messages. It makes me feel so much closer
8:54
to you guys. Yeah, I guess I just want to say
8:56
thank you so much for showing your support, for Actively
9:00
reposting on your stories when you're listening or for
9:04
messaging me or for rating this podcast 5 stars, which really,
9:07
really does help me out. Like, you guys have no idea how
9:10
much that helps and how much that puts me on the radar.
9:13
I just want to continue doing this for as long as I can
9:16
because I'm just so passionate about it.
9:18
I don't want this to completely go by me without me just
9:23
stopping and really appreciating what's come out of this little
9:26
community, what's come out of this podcast.
9:29
I do like to stop and reflect. And it might be really cheesy to
9:32
some people, but I think it's really important because it's
9:35
really easy to be like, OK, well, I've done this, let's push
9:38
for the next thing. Let's keep pushing.
9:40
But actually, it's crazy how far I've come since beginning this
9:43
podcast. And yeah, I'm just very
9:46
grateful. And this is a segue in to this
9:50
topic actually, because I need to be proud of myself more, I
9:54
think. And when people say to me, and
9:56
you know, I get comments all the time online and in person,
9:59
people saying how much they love the podcast and how much they
10:03
can relate to it or how well they think I'm doing.
10:06
And I guess that doesn't always sink in with me.
10:09
And I really appreciate it when other people say it because then
10:12
it makes me reflect on it. You know, it makes me realise,
10:15
oh, actually I have come quite far.
10:17
I have done a lot. I have worked really hard for
10:19
this and it's really easy to just say, Oh, no, I've, I was
10:22
just lucky, you know, I've just been really lucky to have people
10:26
that listen or whatever. But actually it's, it's been me,
10:30
you know, I've been the one that's sat down and recorded and
10:33
planned this episode and edited them.
10:34
You know, it takes hours to edit every episode.
10:38
And I think it is the passion that drives all of this.
10:41
Like I'm really passionate for this podcast and but it does
10:45
take a lot of time and energy and effort.
10:48
You know, I'd come back from a full day of working at the
10:50
office to edit all, all evening, ready for the podcast to be out
10:55
on time. And I guess I just go through
10:58
the motions without realising actually.
11:01
I've put so much work into this, I deserve to give myself a bit
11:04
of credit. And it, it sometimes does take
11:07
for someone else to say it, you know, and before I actually
11:10
realise how far I've come, I hope that this is an opportunity
11:14
for you guys to take a little look into your year that you've
11:18
had and maybe where you were at at this point last year and how
11:22
much you've achieved, how much you've grown in the past year
11:26
emotionally or in your work, whatever it is, I hope that you
11:30
guys take some time to. Yeah, appreciate that and feel
11:35
proud of yourself for that. Because I think it's really
11:38
difficult to recognise our achievements.
11:41
It is a struggle to actually stop and feel proud of what
11:45
you've done. So I think we need to do that
11:48
more. And that is the first thing you
11:49
should do to show up for yourself.
11:52
Think about where you are now and how much you really wanted
11:56
to be where you are, you know, a couple years ago when you were
11:59
younger. Think about how far you've come
12:02
and how much you've achieved. And just think that, you know,
12:05
younger, you would be so proud of where you are now.
12:09
And you know, if you've gone through a tough time this year,
12:12
my heart goes out to you and I'm sending so much love to you.
12:15
But just think how strong you still are.
12:17
You're still here, You're still doing the best you can.
12:21
And that is something to be really proud of because it's
12:24
really difficult to push through tough times.
12:27
But you are stronger than you think and I genuinely believe
12:31
that not every day is a good day.
12:33
And obviously we've we've been through this.
12:36
But it's really important to recognise even through the bad
12:40
days, just just how well you're doing in life.
12:43
And it's really important to just celebrate the small wins as
12:46
well. You know, like on days where I
12:49
have no energy and I feel like I can't do anything, even if I
12:53
just take a shower, that is a huge achievement for me on that
12:56
bad day, even if I just make myself some lunch, like that is
13:01
a good achievement. That is just something that will
13:03
get me through the day. And it's something to be proud
13:06
of because it's really easy sometimes to just wallow away
13:09
and not do anything, which is needed sometimes.
13:13
But yeah, it's really important to celebrate the small wins and
13:17
to not beat yourself up for maybe not reaching a goal that
13:21
you were hoping to reach. Be proud of how far you've come
13:23
and know that you are trying the best that you are.
13:27
Your body's trying the best that it can.
13:29
I think it's really easy as a disabled person to think, OK,
13:32
well, I'm going to do this, this and this today.
13:35
And if my body can't keep up, I might think that I failed.
13:38
But actually, no, like I've done as much as I can.
13:41
My body's done the best it can. So it's, it's important to just
13:46
listen to your body and wow, I'm like really flowing into these
13:50
different points today, like really effortlessly.
13:53
But the next one I had was checking in with yourself and
13:56
just getting in touch with your intuition, getting in touch with
14:00
your body and just listening to yourself.
14:02
That's such a good way to show up for yourself is to not
14:06
neglect your body. And I saw this quote the other
14:08
day. I'm just trying to think what it
14:09
was. It was something like listen to
14:12
your body now and stop now or your body will force you to stop
14:17
later down the line when you, when it's inconvenient for you,
14:20
something like that. Basically, if you don't listen
14:23
to your body and do what it says right now, it will force you to
14:27
do it and it won't always be in the best scenario and it might
14:31
hit you for longer, it might strike you while you're down
14:35
kind of thing. So yeah, always, always, always
14:38
put your physical and mental health first before anything
14:41
else, even if it means cancelling plans.
14:44
You can't ignore it, you know, otherwise it'll come back to
14:46
bite you in the bum. I also wanted to say as well,
14:50
with the celebrating your achievements, I think it's
14:53
really easy to dismiss it with just saying that you were lucky.
14:57
There have been a lot of things that have happened this year
15:00
that I'm just looking back on now that I've always just said
15:04
like, oh, I've just been really lucky.
15:06
Like getting this job, this journalist job at the BBC, I've
15:10
always said to whoever you know is congratulating me for the
15:14
job, I'm like, oh, thank you. I guess I was just really lucky.
15:17
But looking back, maybe I wasn't just lucky.
15:20
Maybe I did work hard. Maybe I did do really well in
15:24
the interview. I think it's really easy to just
15:26
dismiss it and just say like, oh, yeah, I was just lucky.
15:29
But actually, no, I did work hard and I should be proud of
15:33
how far I've come. I guess we all suffer from
15:36
impostor syndrome, feeling like it wasn't us that got us to
15:40
where we are. But it is.
15:41
It totally is. Like when I was freelance for a
15:45
period of time this year, I could have just not looked for
15:48
jobs. I could have just not applied
15:50
for any. And because I didn't have a
15:52
routine to stick to, I could have done whatever I wanted.
15:54
I could have just never gotten myself into another job again.
15:58
But it was me that forced myself and really pushed myself to get
16:02
different jobs, to put myself out there, to put my name out
16:06
there for different companies and to really make myself known.
16:10
And I worked so hard for that, that I need to give myself some
16:12
credit and not just say, oh, I was lucky to have a lot of
16:16
opportunities while I was freelance.
16:17
No, it was me that made sure that I had enough work to keep
16:23
me going through that time. And it was me that found this
16:25
full time job and went for the interview and prepared myself
16:28
and, and that got it. So yeah, I guess I'm just taking
16:32
this time to reflect on this year and just be grateful and
16:36
I'm proud of myself. I guess there have been many
16:38
times this year where I've been in situations that I never would
16:41
have imagined myself being in and thinking I don't belong
16:44
here. Like I'm not good enough to be
16:47
here, but actually maybe I am. And maybe other people can see
16:51
things in you that you just can't.
16:53
And you have to trust that. You have to trust that you you
16:55
are where you belong and you are where you're supposed to be.
16:59
I'm kind of like ebbing and flowing through these topics,
17:02
through these different points, but that's fine because it's
17:06
meant to be just like a natural conversation.
17:08
Hang on, I'm going to cross my legs, OK, Legs are crossed.
17:13
I need to pick up my leg to do that.
17:14
So that's why it takes some time.
17:17
The next thing, and something I've done a lot of this year and
17:20
I've really been working towards is standing up for myself.
17:24
For example, that experience at that night venue that I went to
17:28
a couple weeks ago, I stood up for myself, I stood my ground
17:32
with the stair lift. I could have just been like, oh
17:35
you know what, no worries. Like don't make a big deal out
17:37
of it. I'll just use the stairs.
17:39
I'll just struggle up the stairs.
17:40
It's fine. And as a people pleaser, it's so
17:43
easy to fall into that. If it's a hassle for someone
17:46
else, I'd rather just struggle and not make a big deal, not
17:49
make a fuss. But I've learnt that it's
17:52
actually a really good thing to stand your ground, to be firm
17:56
and to get what you deserve. Like me getting that stair lift,
18:00
I'm done with putting myself through it just for the sake of
18:03
other people. I'm not saying that in a selfish
18:05
way, you know, like I will happily go out of my comfort
18:09
zone or go out of my way to help my friends and family, to help
18:13
other people, but not when it's situations where I'm not
18:17
understood and it's at the cost of my own health, my own
18:21
physical health. I need to be very aware of that.
18:24
You know, for example, if you had a best friend that wasn't
18:28
getting what she deserved at work, for example, you would
18:31
encourage her to speak up to say something.
18:34
Well, why not do that yourself? Why not treat yourself like you
18:38
would treat your family members, your best friends?
18:42
It's really easy to get dish out the advice and to not take it
18:45
yourself. But yeah, it's really important
18:47
to just actually take your own advice sometimes.
18:51
Another thing that's linked to this that I've spoken about so
18:54
much this year is self advocating.
18:57
I can't express how much this changes your life genuinely.
19:01
Especially with a disability. Making your needs known to other
19:05
people will lift the burden off of you so much.
19:09
And I know with having a disability or an extra thing
19:14
that might make life a little bit more challenging for you
19:16
than people that aren't disabled, it's really easy to
19:21
just dismiss your extra needs. But it's so important to
19:25
recognise those and to make them known to other people.
19:28
People don't know what you need until you say something.
19:31
If you plan to go out with friends as a disabled person, we
19:35
need to plan ahead. We need to look into certain
19:38
venues, for example. Other people aren't going to
19:41
know that unless you say something.
19:43
You know, if I'm going to an event and I know there's going
19:46
to be some catering involved, it's my responsibility to let
19:49
people know, to let the organisers know that I am a
19:53
celiac and that I require gluten free food.
19:55
Because otherwise I'm going to turn up, there won't be anything
19:58
gluten free and I'll have to starve or go out and buy a meal
20:02
deal or something. And trust me, it's really
20:04
difficult to find a Tesco that actually do gluten free because
20:08
not all of them do. I'm not going to go into further
20:11
detail about that because I know.
20:13
How much I've spoken about it over the past year.
20:16
But self advocating is the way to go and we will continue to do
20:20
that in 2025. OK, OK.
20:23
Something I need to do more often is setting aside some time
20:27
for myself. I think it's really easy to go
20:30
through the motions to go to work and come home and then feel
20:34
like you have to, you know, look after your home or meal prep or
20:40
do all these chores that you have to do or go and see friends
20:43
and catch up with family or whatever it is.
20:46
But in doing all of that, you're going to lose yourself.
20:50
You're going to lose what you're actually passionate about.
20:53
You're going to lose your hobbies and you're just going to
20:55
lose a little piece of yourself. So another really good way to
20:59
show up to yourself is to set aside time to just do something
21:04
you love. Do something you're passionate
21:06
about. Like for me, it's doing this
21:08
podcast, but also I don't want to do it too much just because I
21:12
feel like it will feel like work and I don't want it to feel like
21:14
work. But reading is the thing for me.
21:17
I'm going to really, I'm really focusing on setting aside time
21:20
to read, which by the way, I completed my goal of reading a
21:24
book a month, which I set at the beginning of this year.
21:27
I think I'm on book 14 and it's only the beginning of December.
21:33
So we'll see where we'll see how we go.
21:35
We'll see if I get to read loads over Christmas.
21:37
Probably not, but we'll see. That's something I'm really
21:41
working towards is to read more because it's just a really nice
21:44
way of relaxing and winding down in the evening without staring
21:48
at a screen, which is again, something we all struggle with,
21:51
something I've struggled with a lot in the past.
21:54
So I'm really trying to limit my screen time.
21:56
I actually don't turn to the TV that often.
22:00
I only turn it on with the intention of actually like
22:02
watching something. But that's only if I have time.
22:04
And I almost never have time to watch some telly.
22:07
Maybe that's something I should do more is to just sit down and
22:10
like put on a film and actually relax instead of finding stuff
22:14
to do all the time because I am a person that likes to keep
22:17
busy. But I guess this is a good time
22:20
to just force yourself to sit and stop for a second because we
22:23
need to rest. We need to recharge, but also
22:26
going to the gym is another hobby and another thing I know
22:30
that fuels my body, it fuels my productivity, it fuels my
22:35
physical energy. These kind of balances are
22:37
really important. You know, stuff that fill your
22:39
cup, things that you're passionate about and things that
22:43
help you relax and keep you active.
22:46
Just a bit of everything, you know what I mean?
22:49
I'm trying to like focus on that balance of having lots of
22:53
different things that fill my cup, but as equal as possible I
22:58
guess. Sorry I'm just looking outside.
23:01
It's been raining and it stopped raining and been really sunny
23:05
like two or three times since I started recording.
23:08
That's whales foyer honestly summed up.
23:11
But I'm hoping the lighting stays because this morning I
23:14
went for a coffee with a friend and I the sun was out and I was
23:16
like, wow, this really has lifted my mood.
23:19
Even though it's December. I'm feeling great.
23:22
And then I sat down to record and it started raining, so
23:25
that's just great. But it's still quite bright
23:27
outside, so I'm hoping the lighting stays.
23:30
And I'm enjoying this daylight recording of this podcast
23:34
because my first couple episodes so far have been in the evening,
23:38
so I'm hoping we get to do more daylight ones.
23:42
We'll see maybe more in the summer, but I am enjoying the
23:44
cosy candlelight ones as well. We'll see.
23:48
Just yeah. Let me know what you think.
23:50
Let me know which kind of lighting you prefer.
23:52
Anyway, we're getting so off track.
23:54
I'm so sorry. I'm, you know, me.
23:55
Tangents everywhere. OK, I'm gonna just end it on
23:59
this one, which is being kind to yourself.
24:01
And I could leave it there, but I feel like I need to elaborate
24:04
just a bit more. Again, I'm going to use the
24:07
narrative of treating yourself like you would your best friend
24:11
or your family members just to speak kindly to them and
24:15
constantly remind them how well they're doing in life, how
24:20
amazing they are, how much joy they bring to your life.
24:24
And something that really helps me, especially when I'm too
24:28
focused on how I look or what I'm wearing or really silly
24:32
things. The impact that you have on
24:35
other people is going to be what they remember about you is going
24:38
to is going to be the main thing they think of when they think
24:41
about you. When you think about your
24:44
friends and your families and your coworkers, you don't think
24:47
about what their style is. You don't think about how they
24:50
look. You think about the impact they
24:52
have on you and how they make you feel.
24:54
So I'm really focusing on tapping into that and not
24:57
worrying about, you know, my exterior, not worrying about
25:00
what clothes I'm wearing because I know that the impact I have on
25:02
other people much more worthwhile than the way I look.
25:08
You know, I think that's something to really work on for
25:11
yourself. And I think in being kind to
25:14
yourself, you're going to be kinder to other people, you're
25:17
going to have a better impact. I don't know if that makes
25:21
sense, but I think since realising that the most
25:24
important thing is how you treat other people, it's made myself
25:29
treat myself better and it's made me kind of realise a lot of
25:32
things about myself. And yeah, I think it's something
25:35
really important to invest in yourself and to just focus on
25:38
this growth. You know, we're in our 20s,
25:41
we're already going through a lot.
25:42
But yeah, I need to look after myself more.
25:44
I need to speak kinder to myself.
25:46
I do a lot of stupid things and yeah, it's really easy to beat
25:50
yourself up for it. It's really easy to not be happy
25:53
with yourself or to cringe at things that you might have said,
25:56
you know, looking back on conversations or to regret a lot
25:59
of things, which is natural. You know, we're all human.
26:02
I'm not sat here like a professional therapist, you
26:06
know, saying like I've just discovered self loathing, you
26:09
know, like, I'm not saying that, but I actually got emotional
26:13
looking at old photos of me and my sisters the other day.
26:18
And I saw this one picture of me that I'd never seen before
26:21
because I'm not very good with keeping pictures.
26:23
My sister has everything caddy. I asked her for some photos of,
26:29
you know, us when we were younger.
26:30
She sent everything. I don't know where she got them,
26:33
but she just has an archive full of like our memories.
26:37
So I was flicking through them and it made me quite emotional
26:40
looking back and I was like, wow, like we've gone through a
26:43
lot and I don't think I've realised that.
26:47
And I'm trying to look after little me as well.
26:49
I was looking back at pictures of me when I was like, you know,
26:53
pre celiac diagnosis and I had a huge belly and I used to love
26:59
tap dancing and you know, I'd be in different costumes ready for
27:03
tap dancing shows and I'd have this huge belly and I'm like,
27:07
that poor girl didn't know that things could change with just a
27:10
simple gluten free diet, but she was doing her best.
27:14
She, you know, was picked on in school because of her huge
27:17
belly. I don't know.
27:19
I just got really emotional and I saw this thing that Kendall
27:23
Jenner I think sad to cut out a picture of baby you or a younger
27:28
version of you and put it on your mirror.
27:31
And apparently it's supposed to help the way you see yourself
27:35
now. If you have a picture of younger
27:38
you alongside you now or something, it might work for you
27:42
guys. I haven't done it personally.
27:44
But apparently when you think of yourself or when you speak to
27:48
yourself or see yourself in the mirror, I need to think before I
27:52
criticise something about myself that I'm also saying that about
27:55
little Charis. And why would I want to hurt
27:57
her? You know, I would want to
27:59
protect her. I want her to feel proud of me
28:03
now. And why would I want to say
28:06
negative things about myself if it's just going to harm my
28:11
mentality, if it's just going to harm the way I see myself and
28:14
maybe other people in my life? I don't know.
28:16
Does that make sense? I hope it does Anyway, I feel
28:19
like I've rambled a lot, but there's nothing new there.
28:22
I hope you took something away from that.
28:25
I hope you enjoyed it somewhat. I've really enjoyed sitting down
28:29
and kind of reflecting on this past year.
28:32
I have had so many moments that I wouldn't have even dreamed of
28:37
having and I'm very, very grateful.
28:40
And I hope you get to reflect on this past year that you've had.
28:44
I hope that you feel grateful for a lot of things in your
28:47
life. I hope that you feel proud of
28:48
yourself. And I know I need to recognise
28:53
my privilege as well. I know that not everyone gets
28:56
the same opportunities in life, so a lot of what I've been able
29:01
to achieve has been privileged. But I need to stop saying that I
29:04
just got lucky. I need to recognise, yeah, I've
29:07
been doing something right at least.
29:10
I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and I hope you
29:15
have a lovely December. I hope you're all staying warm,
29:19
staying cosy, embracing the season like I'm trying to do.
29:23
And I've really, really enjoyed another year of us just chatting
29:28
and relating to each other. And I've met a lot of amazing
29:32
people this year through this podcast.
29:34
So I just want to say thank you again for the support.
29:37
Don't forget to rate this podcast 5 stars and to follow
29:41
it. I'm also on YouTube now if you
29:43
want to give my YouTube a little subscribe.
29:47
My YouTube is just Kerra Savage, but you can search unbalanced
29:51
with Kerra Savage as well and that will come up.
29:53
And yeah, my videos are on YouTube now, so that's another
29:58
little extra step I've taken recently.
30:00
Thank you so much to cure LDM D2 I for sponsoring this podcast.
30:04
Honestly, I would not be where I am in this podcast without you
30:09
guys. So I'm very, very grateful for
30:11
you. And I guess I'll speak to you in
30:15
my next episode, which is a pre recorded episode with a very
30:19
special guest that I'm very excited to introduce to you.
30:22
And you will hear more from me in my next solo episode in 2025.
30:28
I'll see you then. Love you all, bye.