Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Rick Silver and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to the Networking Unleashed Building
- 0:03Profitable Connections, the show where a single
- 0:06conversation can change everything. I'm your
- 0:09host, Michael Foreman. Most people walk into
- 0:12networking situations focused on what to say,
- 0:16how to introduce themselves, or how to make a
- 0:19good impression. But what if the real difference
- 0:22isn't words? It's the way you think. My guest
- 0:25today is known for powerful reframes, those moments
- 0:29where a simple shift in perspective changes how
- 0:32you see a situation, how you respond, and ultimately
- 0:35how others respond to you. We're diving into
- 0:39how mindset shapes conversations, why many professionals
- 0:43unknowingly limit themselves before they speak,
- 0:46and how a different way of thinking can instantly
- 0:50change the quality of your relationships. If
- 0:53you've ever felt like you're doing the right
- 0:55things but not getting the results you want,
- 0:58this episode is going to give you a new way to
- 1:00approach every interaction. So let's get into
- 1:03it. I would like to introduce to my listeners
- 1:07today, Rick Silver. I happen to know Rick for
- 1:11quite some time. He's a friend of mine, and he
- 1:14has a very original take on networking and communication.
- 1:18He is a mentalist. But let me introduce him.
- 1:22Let me introduce him to the podcast and let him
- 1:25take it away. So, Rick, how are you? And welcome
- 1:29to the podcast. Thank you. I'm doing well this
- 1:32morning. Thank you for having me. All right.
- 1:35All right. OK, so I've really reconstructed these
- 1:39questions and I've taken out a few, put in a
- 1:41few. And I'd like to get your view on how networking
- 1:46communication changes by the way that we think.
- 1:49And we're going to go into the realm of reframing,
- 1:53as you put it. And let's take it from there.
- 1:56So at a high level, what exactly is reframe?
- 2:02And why is it so powerful in how we experience
- 2:05situations? Sure. A reframe is a different way
- 2:10of thinking about a problem. Now, what's interesting
- 2:12about reframes is they don't have to be true.
- 2:15We'll get into some examples. They just need
- 2:17to work. And more importantly, the reframes are
- 2:19not something you have to repeat over again,
- 2:21like a mantra or affirmation. We all have different
- 2:24experiences and different problems. So not all
- 2:26reframes work the same way. But if you hear a
- 2:28reframe that you need, it will work. And you
- 2:31only have to hear it once. Okay. And you said
- 2:35you had a few examples of that? Yeah, we can
- 2:40get into that now on networking examples. Yeah,
- 2:43just give me an example. Let me just give you
- 2:46an example of something that helped me and then
- 2:48we can get into the networking one specifically.
- 2:49Okay. So one of my favorite reframes is pain
- 2:54is temporary. So now this won't work if you have
- 2:57a serious injury, of course, but if I stub my
- 2:59toe and I think pain is temporary, the pain drops
- 3:03in half immediately. It works that well, at least
- 3:06for me. Another good one is if you're in traffic
- 3:10and let's say you're trying to get somewhere,
- 3:11you're in a hurry. You want to make that street
- 3:14light, and you don't. And you know how you feel.
- 3:17It's going to be late. Here's a reframe. And
- 3:20again, these don't have to be true. But the reframe
- 3:23is, the powers that be, whoever that is for you,
- 3:26wanted to make sure you got where you were going
- 3:27safely, and they changed the timing. Ah, very
- 3:34interesting. That falls along with the lines
- 3:37of everything happens for a reason, right? I'm
- 3:40a firm believer. in that everything happens for
- 3:42a reason. I meet the people for a reason, or
- 3:46I get through a situation for a reason. And I
- 3:50may not know what the reason is right now, but
- 3:53in the future, I'll say, oh, you know what? It's
- 3:56a good thing I met him because of this. So that's
- 3:59very good. What's the difference between positive
- 4:03thinking and a true reframe? To me, positive
- 4:09thinking is just being optimistic. I think affirmations
- 4:13fall into this category. Good reframes do not
- 4:16necessarily have to be true, but either way,
- 4:18if they work, it's going to change your brain
- 4:20chemistry. You're going to be thinking or feeling
- 4:22differently about the problem when you hear a
- 4:24good reframe. Okay. So I see the difference between
- 4:29positive thinking and it's like an affirmation
- 4:31or something, but, and a true reframe. I can
- 4:36see you going along your life, whatever, as long
- 4:41as you have that positive outlook. Could you
- 4:44take that same positive outlook and have a reframe
- 4:47or true reframe with that? Does it work hand
- 4:50in hand? I don't think they're mutually exclusive
- 4:54or one -on -one. I think they're two different
- 4:56things we're talking about when you talk about
- 4:57positive thinking versus a reframe. A reframe
- 5:00is very specific. Okay. Okay. I just wanted to
- 5:04clarify that in my own head. Can you share a
- 5:07few simple examples of reframes that instantly
- 5:11shift how someone interprets a situation? The
- 5:16pain is temporary and the traffic ones are good
- 5:17examples of that. Okay. That's really it? Can
- 5:23you expand on that? Sure. Okay. I knew you were
- 5:28going to ask me that, being a network guy, so
- 5:30I did write some down here. Get them. Let's see.
- 5:32Network. Okay. The usual reframe is be yourself,
- 5:35right? That's what we hear. Reframe, be a better
- 5:39version of yourself. Okay. If I went to a networking
- 5:43meeting as myself, I'd be coming in sweatpants
- 5:45and a t -shirt, right? Just for others, be better
- 5:49version than yourself. Another one is the usual
- 5:55reframe is most people have their act together.
- 5:57You see them at a network meeting, they're smiling,
- 5:59they're talking. They seem like they have a good
- 6:01life. No, we're all basket cases once you get
- 6:05to know us. We have different problems, but nobody's
- 6:08like that. We all have problems. And realizing
- 6:12that can make networking easier for you. Oh,
- 6:16here's a good one. Success depends on who you
- 6:18know, right? Reframe. Success depends on how
- 6:22many people. It's a numbers game. Get out there.
- 6:25That's always the case, especially with networking.
- 6:28You go out there and network. I don't care if
- 6:30it's one time, two times, three times, or four
- 6:32times a week. The more you go out there, the
- 6:34more comfortable you'll be, the more people you'll
- 6:37meet, and the better chance you'll have or a
- 6:40better opportunity to meet those people. Exactly.
- 6:45And one more here for a bonus. Usual reframe
- 6:48is, I have to. I have to network. Reframe, I
- 6:52get to. Yes. That's a great mindset. When you
- 6:56heard that, did you feel it? Absolutely. I told
- 6:59her. Absolutely. Because one thing that I teach
- 7:04all the time is when somebody just begins their
- 7:08networking journey, right? They go out and say,
- 7:11oh, I have to go out and network and I have to
- 7:13do it. And by the third, fourth, even fifth time,
- 7:16you say, oh, I get to network. I get to go out
- 7:19and you have a good time. And it's a whole mindset
- 7:22shift. So I know exactly what you're talking
- 7:25about. And we happen to talk about the same thing.
- 7:28It goes with the gratitude theory that's really
- 7:32popular right now. I get to. Yeah, always look.
- 7:38And you look to give. You look to give and not
- 7:40receive. So if you go to a networking event and
- 7:44say, look, I get to go out and network. And look,
- 7:47I get to help this person or help you. That will
- 7:50come back to me tenfold. Because having a servant's
- 7:53heart always will set you above. Here's another
- 7:57good reframe. If you're shy and you don't like
- 7:59to network, a lot of us are like that. There's
- 8:03going to be somebody at that networking group
- 8:05that's just standing alone by themselves. They're
- 8:07probably feeling the same thing you are. So reframe
- 8:10your nervousness to being a hero. Go up to that
- 8:14person, introduce yourself, and listen. You just
- 8:17made somebody feel better. And your nerves are
- 8:20now a hero. Absolutely. And that goes along with
- 8:24what I teach introverts, right? They're always
- 8:28standing by the wall to become a wallflower.
- 8:30And I always teach, if you want to take it upon
- 8:34yourself, you walk up to them and you don't talk
- 8:37business. You say, hey, you know what? That's
- 8:39a nice blazer. Where'd you get it? And just have
- 8:43them start to talk. When they begin to talk,
- 8:45all of a sudden, they open up. and say, you know
- 8:49what, come on over here, because if they're a
- 8:51designer, you have marketing people over at a
- 8:55table. You can say, come on, I'll introduce you.
- 8:57You are the hero, and you open up somebody else's
- 9:02eyes. So that's very good and very poignant.
- 9:05How do reframes influence confidence and the
- 9:10way someone shows up in interactions overall?
- 9:15I think that just knowing that reframes exist,
- 9:18especially if you've experienced one working,
- 9:21can give you the confidence. And using reframes
- 9:26like the hero one I just mentioned can make you
- 9:28feel more comfortable, Adam. You feel more comfortable,
- 9:32and yet you're making somebody else feel more
- 9:35comfortable. So it's like a double dipper there.
- 9:37You got two for the price of one. So that's really
- 9:39very good. Okay, is there a pattern or a process?
- 9:44people can use to create their own reframes in
- 9:47real time? Good question. I would start by just
- 9:51thinking about your smartest friend and thinking
- 9:54about how they would answer it. Okay. If that
- 9:57doesn't work, then go actually talk to them because
- 9:59they might say something that sparks a reframe
- 10:01or something in your creativity that will help.
- 10:04Okay. All right. That's good. Don't talk to somebody
- 10:07else because listen, nobody has all the answers,
- 10:10right? And if you surround yourself, with smart
- 10:14people, then that will be the group that you'll
- 10:17go into. When you surround yourself with not
- 10:22as smart people, you tend to go down a little
- 10:25bit. So I always suggest, listen, look at your
- 10:28group of friends. How well are they doing? What
- 10:31do they do? Do they go work out every single
- 10:34morning? Or do they go to a networking event?
- 10:37Or are they happy? Or are they always complaining?
- 10:41because you're going to take on those things
- 10:44from your group of people. What's that saying?
- 10:47You're the average of your five closest friends?
- 10:50Something like that. Yeah. That's exactly the
- 10:53point. Okay. What are some reframes that would
- 10:57apply to networking as a whole without getting
- 11:01into specifics? I think we talked about that.
- 11:04The hero one, the be yourself, be better than
- 11:08yourself, the basket case theory. Those are all
- 11:11networking related that will help. Good, good,
- 11:14good. Okay, so then let's bring this full circle.
- 11:18If someone wanted to start seeing more opportunities
- 11:21in everyday situations over the next 90 days,
- 11:26what mindset shift would you recommend they begin
- 11:30with? Just start practicing finding reframes
- 11:35for situations you find yourself in, problems
- 11:37that you're dealing with. And I'll recommend
- 11:39a very good book. It's called Reframe Your Brain
- 11:42by the late Scott Adams. And he talks about over
- 11:45160 different reframes, and they're divided into
- 11:47categories like social media, mental health,
- 11:50physical health. And then at the back of the
- 11:52book is a list of all the reframes as a summary.
- 11:56Get that book. I don't make anything from it,
- 11:58but check out the reviews on Amazon and get that
- 12:00book. That's my biggest recommendation. Great.
- 12:03It's a great recommendation. I think I have it
- 12:05here. Oh, okay. So here it is. There it is. There
- 12:10we go. Reframe Your Brain by Scott Adams. There
- 12:13we go. There's a book recommendation by Rick
- 12:16Silver. Rick, how can somebody get hold of you?
- 12:20Now, I know that you're a mentalist. So if somebody
- 12:23wanted to hire you, want to be coached by you,
- 12:27or just talk to you, what's the best way to get
- 12:30hold of you? Check out my website. It's mentalistricksilver
- 12:34.com. Or you can just Google Mentalist Rick Silver.
- 12:38I'll show up. I have my phone number, which is
- 12:40678 -548 -1570. And email address rsilver at
- 12:46gmail .com. Very easy to remember. Very good.
- 12:49Very good. This conversation is a reminder that
- 12:52better results often come from seeing things
- 12:55differently. When you shift your perspective,
- 12:58you change how you show up. And when you change
- 13:01how you show up, people respond to you differently.
- 13:05Take one step this week. Before your next conversation,
- 13:09ask yourself, how can you approach it from a
- 13:12different angle? Sometimes a small shift in thinking
- 13:15can create a completely different outcome. If
- 13:18you found value in today's episode, make sure
- 13:21you like, follow, and subscribe to Networking
- 13:23Unleashed, building profitable connections so
- 13:26you keep getting the best insights on networking
- 13:28and communication. And share this episode with
- 13:31someone who could benefit from a fresh perspective.
- 13:34If you'd like help strengthening your communication
- 13:36and building connections that lead to real opportunity,
- 13:39visit michelaforman .com. Learn how I work with
- 13:43professionals, teams, and organizations. So until
- 13:46next time, shift your perspective, change your
- 13:49conversations, and build connections that open
- 13:52new doors. Rick, I can't tell you how happy I
- 13:56am that you came on my podcast today. And I wish
- 13:59you good luck in everything you do. And I'm going
- 14:03to talk to you soon. Thanks. Thanks, Michael.
- 14:09Well, hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let's
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- 14:58at 561 -427 -4888. All right, folks. A huge thank
- 15:06you to our guests for sharing such incredible
- 15:08insights today. And of course, a big shout out
- 15:12to you, our amazing listeners, for tuning in
- 15:15and spending your time with us. If you're interested
- 15:18in my digital courses, being coached, or having
- 15:21me come and talk to your company, just go to
- 15:24Michael and fill out the request form. Remember,
- 15:28networking isn't about being perfect. It's about
- 15:31being present. So take what you've learned today.
- 15:35get out there, and make some meaningful connections.
- 15:38If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't
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- 15:44it with someone who could use a little networking
- 15:46inspiration. Let's keep the conversation going.
- 15:49You can find me on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube,
- 15:54or my website, foreman .com slash podcasts.