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5 Youth Ministry Leadership SUPERPOWERS You NEED to Thrive! · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

0:00
SPEAKER_00: That's the spirit of God.
0:01
SPEAKER_00: The spirit of God in each and every one of them that says you are not a victim of your circumstances.
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SPEAKER_00: You're not a victim of your boss.
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SPEAKER_00: You're not a victim of your environment or your church politics.
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SPEAKER_00: How can you thrive and carry out the mission despite?
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SPEAKER_00: Because if you're waiting for all conditions to be perfect, you're going to be waiting forever.
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SPEAKER_00: Throw all that away.
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SPEAKER_00: Laser focus mission.
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SPEAKER_00: Go get it.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Go run after it.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Go do what God told me to do.
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SPEAKER_00: Are you looking to level up your leadership to keep you in the youth ministry game for a long time?
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SPEAKER_00: Well, then stick around because we're going to give you five youth ministry leadership superpowers.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we give you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast-track the growth and health of your youth ministry.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: And today we are talking about five youth ministry leadership superpowers.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: These are the things that if you can learn to adopt and embody as it pertains to your leadership, you will have a long youth ministry career and hopefully a joyful youth ministry career because not only do we want to stay in it for a long time, but we want to have some life in those years.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Some joy.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: We don't, sure, you could stay in something as long as possible and you could be hating your life and miserable and crawling, you know, but we want to breathe life into our leadership.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: And these are five things that I would consider a superpower that kind of make your leadership a little untouchable, you know, like a superman.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like Superman.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Unless it's kryptonite, then you're not invincible.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: So, number one, this is really hard, but it is learnable.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Don't take things personally.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so hard to learn.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: It is.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: And none of these, I don't think we can say, I am 100% on all of these all the time.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: But just see it as this is the goal that we're working towards to get better at a little bit each year, a little bit each day.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: And it goes without saying, but when you're in a really unhealthy place physically, spiritually, emotionally, or mentally, these will be very hard to execute.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Because in unhealth, all five that I'm gonna talk about are almost impossible to execute, you know, like when you're in that time where you're just eking along spiritually and you're not strong, you know, this like ministry can take you down.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: Like, think about it.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: There already is a target on your back.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Number one, just by virtue of being a Christ follower, being a Christian.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: The enemy would love to take us down.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: A great book on that is The Screw Tape Letters by C.S.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Lewis.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: And it's basically this demon training another demon on how to slowly but surely capture the human soul and uh damn it to hell.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, whoa, you like listen to it's like you're a fly on the wall listening to their conversations of strategy, and you realize like these little subtle things over time really can take us down.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: And so the first thing, you know, would be we have to prioritize health.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: And what that means is staying close to Jesus, you know, that John 15, remain in me, abide in me.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: Without me, you can do nothing.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: So again, going back to number one, not taking things personally.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite verses in the book of Ecclesiastes on this is Ecclesiastes 7, 21.
4:02
SPEAKER_00: And it says, Don't listen to everything that everyone says, or you might hear your servant cursing you.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: And the whole point is like inevitably you're gonna hear something you don't like about yourself from the mouth of someone else.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Did they mean it as hard as you took it?
4:20
SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe there's someone vicious out there to get you, who knows?
4:26
SPEAKER_00: But regardless, the Bible says, be very careful of that.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: In Proverbs 19:11, it says, a person's wisdom yields patience, and this is the best part.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: It is to one's glory to overlook an offense.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: You will be offended.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: Someone is not gonna like your message.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: I had a student walk up to me after what I thought was a home run message, and I loved the content, and I had worked so hard on it.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: And he came up to me and said, I just wanted you to know that's the worst message I've ever heard.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, okay, nothing like just cutting me off at the knees for next week because I'll top it.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: And I mean, it's a seventh grade boy, whatever, but that is who I speak to.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: So it's not like, oh, who cares what this kid says?
5:16
SPEAKER_00: The kids, that is my ministry, right?
5:18
SPEAKER_00: And there will be a parent who says awful things about you or your ministry or doesn't fight fair.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe they make assumptions of you that aren't founded or aren't fair.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: You're going to have things that other staff members say about you.
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SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna like, you know, there's this dream that we're all Christians and we all love God.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna work at a church and everything's gonna be like hunky dory and no one's ever gonna fight.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: That couldn't be further from the truth.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: I do a lot of coaching.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh and like it doesn't matter, like what church it is, what state it is, what country it is, there's problems in every single church.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Why would we think we're gonna somehow be exempt from that?
6:03
SPEAKER_00: And that could be somebody saying something about you or you overhearing something.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: And so that ability to not make it personal, but remembering who your audience ultimately is that was the game changer for me.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Knowing, well, even the like you look at the ministry of Jesus, I think it's safe to say there was a lot of criticism for for him from society, from his friends.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: His friends betrayed him, leadership hated him, leadership inside the church hated him.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh, the government outside the church kind of didn't know what to do with them, but it wasn't like they were a fan of his.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: It was almost like he like was abandoned in every stage of his life in one way or another.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: So our own God was rejected, suffered, talked bad about, and somehow we think we're gonna like skate through ministry without ever making someone mad at us.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: So, in those moments, here's what you could do: you could say, Is there anything here I need to own?
7:13
SPEAKER_00: Because there's another side to that where you're just like, Ain't no one gonna break my stride, like, no one's gonna get me down.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, are you a jerk and need to apologize for something?
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Is that why everyone's mad at you?
7:25
SPEAKER_00: Well, then let's make it right and let's own it and let's take responsibility.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: If it's just this is one of those things where nobody's really right, nobody's really wrong.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: It's just a different method, a different of opinion, a different personality kind of clash, but you can't really say someone is in the wrong.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: It might just be better to move on and remember you don't ultimately work for them.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, you work for your boss or with your coworkers, but the only person you really need to impress is Jesus.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: I've said it before, but our founding pastor, Larry Osborne, said this once.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: He said, You have nothing to prove and no one to impress.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And I think he means as long as you're following what God has called you to do, doesn't mean so you have a license to be a total jerk, you know, because you don't have to impress anyone.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: It's not like a prideful attitude thing.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: It's a resolve to know who do I ultimately work for?
8:33
SPEAKER_00: As long as he's happy, as long as I can stand before him and say, I did what you asked me to do.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: I lived peaceably with everyone as long as it depended on me.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: I apologized and I owned things I needed to.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: I made strides to change areas that were unhealthy or whatever it might be, then we really don't need to worry about what other people say.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, too, people form opinions based on very little information.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: Like we work, we have a large church, right?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: So anything that ever happens is like, ah, mega church, mega church.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, okay, well, there's a lot of unhealthy small churches, and there's a lot of unhealthy medium churches, and there's everything in between.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: So you can't just paint with this broad brush, mega church.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's why it's like, well, were you there?
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Did you do you know these people?
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Did you have a conversation?
9:25
SPEAKER_00: No, we don't.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: And we all are guilty of that.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: We form these flash opinions based on a narrative that we believe.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's something we've built up in our heads, but then we're the victim of it and we realize that it hurts, but we're real quick to do that to everybody else.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: So if somebody's making an uninformed opinion of you, just be able to, like a duck, let that roll right off your back because it's an uninformed, underdeveloped opinion based on some preconceived thing they have in their head, maybe some twisted theology they learned somewhere, somehow, but it's usually not about you.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: And you just have to be able to move on.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: Another phrase that one of our senior pastors says a lot is that in ministry, you need to have a thick skin and a tender heart.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: Meaning, like, we don't need to build up walls and have this heart of stone that's impenetrable, but you do have to learn that balance of thicker skin because people will criticize you.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: When you're in charge, you make decisions, people aren't gonna like it.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: Someone is always gonna be frustrated with you.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: And you have to learn to live like that if you're going to be in leadership for any length of time.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: He also says you have to learn to live with low-level frustration, not your own, but toward you.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: And just know I'm leading the way that I see that God is telling me to lead.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna get it perfectly every time?
10:50
SPEAKER_00: No, but I really can't please everybody, and I need to be okay with what I am doing.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: God is calling me to do this, and this is what I'm gonna do.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: And that takes time, you know, to build up that resilience.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: But once you do, it literally is a superpower.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: Well, not only does it take time, it takes the repetition of having it happen, which is horrible because you're saying, like, it's like, oh, I wish I was a more patient person.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, the only time you can exercise patience is when you're in an instance where you need to be patient, sure, which is the hardest time to exercise patience.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing as this like I need to build up thicker skin.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: And the only way you can really do that is in those experiences where you're feeling attacked or you know, whatever it might be.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: And one thing I feel like God has taught me this year, and um, you know, that verse where he talks about like praying for your enemies, and it's kind of like even the heathens are nice to people who are nice to them.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: So, what credit is that to you?
11:52
SPEAKER_00: But pray for your enemies.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like he gave me this impression on my heart of what if you prayed for your enemies with the same fervor that you would pray for yourself?
12:05
SPEAKER_00: So, any blessing, like what if everything you asked for for them came true for you?
12:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, God, I just pray health over them and I just pray success in their business, and I just pray that their family would just like thrive and you know, and everything you prayed, God made that as a return on you.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, like what if?
12:29
SPEAKER_00: I just thought it was an like I'm not saying that's what the Bible says, but he says, pray for your enemies.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: And I just I know that's a really hard thing to do.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: So in my mind, I started praying for them as if God was gonna give me what I asked for for them, you know, like just as much as you want me to bless you, want that for them.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think in the back of my mind, I would always have that as my motivation.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say their name, but it's really code for me.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure there the analogy breaks down and there's some caveats, fine print asterisk, but it was just to me an interesting concept of yeah, what if what if that was the big surprise?
13:10
SPEAKER_00: Like I asked you to pray for your enemies, you didn't know why, but because any blessing you asked for them, I was going to give to you.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: I just am like, wouldn't that be crazy?
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it would be crazy.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: It would be crazy.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: Not saying that's what the Bible says, but anyways, just something to think about.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay, number two, I was talking to one of my pastor friends about this the other day.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: He's been in ministry for a while, and he was just talking to me about what has kept him in the game for so long.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: And he said that having a life and an identity outside of the church.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: And he said, you know, that wasn't always how he operated, that he had like kind of sold himself to the church and everything was about the church, and every waking moment was working on the church and maybe neglected friendships or family, or just because it was like this one focus like, I've got to do this, I've got to be successful, I've got to make this happen.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: And he said, I really regret that.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't regret working hard for the kingdom of God, but I do regret making that my sole identity for so long.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: And I've found such a period of health in my ministry by just working really hard, and it is what it is.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: Like, do my best, move on, take a nap, as Larry would say.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: That's another Larryism.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: He always says, Do your best, then go take a nap.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about it.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: And so he's like, I wish I would have been better at that in my earlier years of ministry because I obsessed over it and it was like, where do I begin and the church end?
14:43
SPEAKER_00: Like we were just this entity, me and the church, me and the church.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like this actually really helps with the first thing we're talking about of not taking things personally.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, if your identity is the church, it's really hard not to take things personally.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: But this is what I do, not who I am necessarily.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, there's some bleed over there because we're followers of Jesus, right?
15:07
SPEAKER_01: And so that's life outside of church still has to be honoring God.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: But it I'm like, okay, but this is also maybe your job or your role.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: That's that's not the only thing about you.
15:19
SPEAKER_00: Who are your friends?
15:20
SPEAKER_00: What are your hobbies?
15:21
SPEAKER_00: What do you enjoy doing?
15:22
SPEAKER_00: What else has God called you to do?
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Where else has he called you to minister?
15:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's amazing when you go on vacation and you realize there's a whole world out here, you know, like because we can get so hyper-focused on our one little microcosm.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: It's like in high school when kids are like devastated over some friend group thing.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: And you as an adult are like, the world is so much bigger than your little jerky friends.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, you'll find that out someday, but that is their whole world.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: And then you get out of it and you're like, oh my gosh, nobody cares who you are in college.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, there is no cool group in college.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: We all start over, and it's so refreshing, you know.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: You get out of it and you realize I can be a whole person out here.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: And that's sort of what it's like in the church, you know, like there's a whole world out there that we just need to make sure our world and our circle is a little bigger than just the church, because then that's when things start getting unhealthy.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: We take everything personally, we overly obsess about everything, every relationship weight feels like a thousand pounds because that's all we've got and that's all we are, and that's all of our time, attention.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: But what else?
16:35
SPEAKER_00: What else?
16:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, we're a multifaceted person.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: We're more than just youth workers, we're more than just youth ministry pastors, whatever it is, there's more to you.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: And explore that and own that and nourish that.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: Don't make the job your everything.
16:54
SPEAKER_01: What's more to you?
16:55
SPEAKER_00: More to you?
16:57
SPEAKER_00: What?
16:59
SPEAKER_01: For you, what is that more?
17:01
SPEAKER_00: Um, I feel like my friends, I have a really great group of friends that they do attend our church, but they go to like different campuses.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: And so when I'm with them, I don't feel like I'm with church congregation members.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: Like I've known them like my whole life.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Like that those friendships and doing really fun things with my friends.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: I love like mountain biking, like doing like I love really good food and finding like a new favorite restaurant or a new best coffee.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, I love studying, I love reading and learning and studying.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: I love like just we went on a trip this summer um to Palm Springs.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: Like that was so fun.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: It was just like, yeah, I just love playing.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: I guess maybe if I had to boil it down to I love having fun.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: Girls just want to have fun.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: Cindy Lopper quote.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: But it's true, like when I'm out in nature with a friend, like perfect day out in nature, beach, lake, something, biking, walking, something active, have something really good to eat, really good to drink, an awesome coffee, and I'm with a really good friend.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't think I could possibly enjoy a day more than that.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I need a docs and gotta be a wiener dog in there.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: There's usually a wiener dog sighting.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: I this summer I chased after two people.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: I okay, three people.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: Two of them I struck out.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: They pretended uh they didn't hear me or see me.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
18:35
SPEAKER_00: I was trying to pet their dog, and then one guy actually stopped and we had a great conversation, met his dog.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and it was all the beats.
18:44
SPEAKER_01: I know.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: I was literally running after these people, anyways.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: Okay, number three, another youth ministry superpower.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: Do not micromanage people.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you know how much you hate being micromanaged.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Can I get an amen?
19:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, there are a lot of people who work for someone.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: We'll just put someone in quotes.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna name that position title, that are insane micromanagers.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: And it literally chokes the life out of leaders to feel like they cannot express their gifts and their methods the way that God wired and designed them to do it.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what I'd say you die for the mission, like we don't mess around like it's the gospel, it's Jesus, it's worship, it's making him known, like introducing people to Jesus.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: That's the mission.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: That is like protected, you know, and bulletproof glass.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: The methods, though, I don't know.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: Get creative and let people be creative.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Just because it's not how you would do something.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: I had to learn that a long time ago as I had different staff members with different styles and different leadership abilities and different vision and getting a little uncomfortable because we're gonna run with their idea and I just don't know how I feel about it because I wouldn't do that, but I'm gonna let you lead here.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: And what's the worst that could happen, you know?
20:26
SPEAKER_00: And finding so much growth and beauty in that of like, wow.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: So I guess I don't have all the ideas in the whole wide world.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: So God did dump some good ideas in other people's brains, and God did give some skills to some other people besides me, and let me trust in his gifting of other people.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Now, I steward that and manage it and make sure we don't go off the rails, but letting people lead how they need to lead, and that's what you want from your leadership.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: But what it ends up doing is creating a team of people who can be creative, that find their voice, that can express their leadership and they're loyal, they're happy, they're thriving.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't work, like what's the worst that could happen?
21:17
SPEAKER_00: You know, and that's what we always measure new decisions by.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Our executive pastor Charlie would always say, if you can't live with a worst case scenario, don't do it.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: So, okay, we paint the walls this color.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: What's the worst case scenario?
21:30
SPEAKER_00: We repaint them because we hated it.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh well, like let someone else decide.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: So if the cost is minimal, why not let someone decide some things or create in some spaces and cheer them on?
21:45
SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't work, don't say, Yeah, I told you so.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: It's more like, well, that version didn't work.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: What else can we do?
21:53
SPEAKER_00: Or what else do you have?
21:54
SPEAKER_00: Or what else can you think of?
21:56
SPEAKER_00: So we definitely want to be flexible with methods so that.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: That everybody has a voice and a contribution.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: And that's when you take the lid off your leadership, right?
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Because if it's, I would tell my team that the only are I would tell my team that all the time.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, guys, if you're looking at me to be the end all be all of creativity, of expertise, we're gonna have a ceiling.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Right.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: I need everyone to participate.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Don't just say, yes, Kristen, what are we doing today?
22:28
SPEAKER_00: Like, no, no, no.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: This is a team.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: Bring ideas.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: We're having a meeting on Tuesday.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: We have to redo an event that it's not working out.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: And I said, okay, everyone has to bring their three best ideas to this meeting and we'll go from there.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: I didn't just lock myself in my office and say, all right, Kristen, time to save the day.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Because I know I'm a lid for us.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm a ceiling.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I have gifts and ideas.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes my ideas win and there are the best ideas.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes someone else has a better idea and their idea wins and it's the best idea.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Something that I could have never thought of.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: And as the more as the more.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: As goeth the more.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: As more people have been on my team with different gift sets, I attribute our growth to that.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Like some of our growth, that it's like more than just my brain, more than just my skills.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: So do not micromanage people.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: They are not there to just carry out orders from you.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: That is so like that is not life-giving at all for a leader.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: If you're if you have leaders on your team and you want to unleash their potential, let them do things.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: I think that's, I don't know.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Youth pastors do struggle with it.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: Senior pastors, there, I said it, struggle with it a lot more.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so number four, wear mistakes proudly and own them.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: And I would say, out of all of the ones we're talking about today, this is the one I probably need to work on the most.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: My boss told me that the other day.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: I was like, thank you for that feedback.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: He said, People will gravitate more toward you when you like a hidden superpower is actually showing your weakness.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: And one of my favorite leadership podcasts is the Craig Groschelle leadership podcast.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: And he says, People would always rather follow a leader who is real than a leader who's always right.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: He says, a leader who's always real than a leader who's always right.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: And I like that is so good.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: And I think as leaders, we tend to think I've got to be the expert in the room.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: I have to like act like I know the answer.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I can't show my cards.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: What if I make a mistake?
24:40
SPEAKER_00: How do I kind of cover that up?
24:42
SPEAKER_00: But he's saying, no, your superpower is to show those cards and say, here's where I failed, here's where I messed up, here's where I want to be better, here's where I was weak or drop the ball, or, you know, um have some regrets or things I wish I would have done differently.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: And that all of a sudden lets everyone exhale.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, one of my staff members said, you do everything well.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: And it like makes me nervous because I feel like the bar is like high and I just need to like, oh no, like it's kind of intimidating.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: And then it made me think then, yeah, then I'm probably not doing a very good job of showing like the areas where I do struggle and I am weak and I did make a mistake, and I wish I could rewind and redo.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: And I need to be honest because that helps leaders around you grow and it helps gain respect from your leaders.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: JFK said something like that.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: He said, I can't make sense of it, but the more I show my mistakes, the more people like me.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: He's like, go figure that one out.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: And I think our boss, my current boss, that's one of his superpowers, is he's extremely good at his job, but he's very generous with the airing of errors, of just like, hey guys, I blew it and you know, I wish I would have done that differently.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: I wish I could go back.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: What could we have done differently for that?
26:06
SPEAKER_00: Or what do you have feedback for me?
26:08
SPEAKER_00: He's so good at just putting that on the table and it makes everyone like him, you know?
26:14
SPEAKER_00: He's not intimidating, but he's excellent at his job and highly respected.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: But he just kind of like lets you take a breath, you know what I mean?
26:24
SPEAKER_00: Like I've worked for people that are overly perfectionists and nobody can breathe around them because it's like, oh no, oh no, did I do this wrong?
26:33
SPEAKER_00: Are you mad at me?
26:34
SPEAKER_00: Like so just permission to breathe.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: Like that goes in hand in hand with the other one you had said about not micromanaging, because when someone is like micromanaging, you feel I can't bring anything up.
26:47
SPEAKER_01: Like I can't make a mistake because you're gonna like come down so hard on me that's like I'm just gonna kind of do nothing, or you know, not nothing, but I'm gonna I'm gonna concentrate so hard on not making mistakes that I'm not moving forward.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: Right.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: And you're not free to be yourself, right?
27:02
SPEAKER_00: You're not free to use your creativity because the fear of failure holds you back like in so many ways.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: And you know, John Maxwell and Craig Groschel, like all these like big time leaders, they talk about Craig Groschell in his book Lead Like It Matters, has a whole chapter on failure and how it's actually a really productive concept to fail and learn and fail and learn, you know.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: We are so excited to be teaming up once again with our friend Corey Fenn and Onward to offer youth and young adult pastors an incredible opportunity for growth and connection.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Over the past year, we've worked with Onward because we share the same heart.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: We love helping ministry leaders grow and stay healthy so that they can serve Jesus for the long haul.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: So this year, from late September through early December, each leader will receive executive one-on-one coaching sessions, practical group workshops, and a community of pastors learning and growing together.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to take the next step in your calling, this is definitely for you.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: Space is limited to just 12 leaders.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: So learn more and apply at onwardleader.com.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and lastly, number five, a youth ministry superpower is learn to be internally motivated.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Now, encouragement is a real thing.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: We all need to feel encouraged, and our leaders should be encouraging, and we as leaders should be encouraging to our teams.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: But the dark side of that is when we need encouragement in order to feel like to stay engaged in what we're doing.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I've worked with people in the past where like they need acknowledgement for every little thing they do.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, at some point this is your job.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you just need to do that.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Does do some things need to be acknowledged and praised and encouraged?
29:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: But if you're the kind of person who needs everyone to see everything you do and like give you an applause for everything you do, or you feel like, huh, like nobody cares.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: Again, remember who your audience is.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: You have to be internally motivated.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: That if nobody were to say good job, if nobody were to notice, if nobody were to give you a pat on the back, if nobody were to like bring it up in a meeting and say, look what this girl did, look what this guy did, you would be okay knowing that offering was for the Lord.
29:38
SPEAKER_00: And that was part of my job.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: And that is where serving comes in, and that's where humility comes in of like, I know who I'm ultimately doing this for, and he won't miss a beat.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: He won't miss a thing.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: He'll see it all.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: He's got it all written down, he's cheering you on, and he's proud of you.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: Would it be nice for your boss to come in and say, wow, would it be nice for the parents to once in a while say thank you for everything you do for my kid instead of complain?
30:05
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it would.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: Would it be nice if your students would thank you at the end of summer camp when you're about to, you know, collapse?
30:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it would, but we don't live in that space.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: We live in the space of we have to be internally motivated, knowing why do I do what I do and who do I do it for?
30:25
SPEAKER_00: Because if I'm doing it for a boss, a parent, a student, a leader, a staff member, or some kind of notoriety, good luck.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: You will burn out so fast and nobody can keep up that pace of encouragement.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
30:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, encouragement shouldn't be something where, like, ah, who cares?
30:43
SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, like, what is I mean, and I don't know the answer to this, but like, what is a reasonable amount of encouragement for a person to be able, like, look at Paul.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, who was encouraging?
30:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, he had people he was working with that were encouraging him, but I think of him in prison and he was encouraged by the mission.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: He was like, I'm a slave of Jesus Christ, I know why I'm doing what I'm doing.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: Like he remembered the people that were, you know, his contemporaries that he was serving with and doing ministry with, but in that jail cell, all alone, where did he find the encouragement to write a letter, send it to a church, continue to do ministry because he was a slave of Jesus Christ, right?
31:26
SPEAKER_00: He didn't have someone in his ear going, Yes, Paul, yes, keep going.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: You're doing great, Paul.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't know, maybe people visited him in jail.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: But all that to say, internal motivation is the holding tight to that mission of why do I do what I do?
31:43
SPEAKER_00: And nobody can touch that, you know.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Then every encouragement is just kind of like a little cherry on top, a little sprinkle, but it's not like the life I needed to keep going one more day.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: Because you really might not get that.
31:59
SPEAKER_00: And just like some morbid.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: What you might not get one more day.
32:05
SPEAKER_00: No, you might not get the encouragement.
32:07
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, yes, yes.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Or one more day.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow's promise to no one.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: No one, no one.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: That's what the Bible says.
32:14
SPEAKER_00: But it's like the same thing with like the micromanager.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: We never want to be micromanaged, like, and a lot of people, a lot of bosses struggle with that.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: A lot of bosses struggle with very low encouragement.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: So if you're in that spot and you're like, I have the boss who doesn't encourage.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: No, that's really common, actually.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: They're doing their thing, they're expecting you to do your thing, and they are like, you go, you be capable.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: And if something's on fire, let me know, right?
32:44
SPEAKER_00: But it's like, you just have to be able to run the race.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: It's not like you're gonna have someone in your corner constantly being like, yeah, buddy, yeah, yeah, you got this.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: That's very rare to work for somebody like that.
32:56
SPEAKER_00: But I think people think in a church the opposite should be rare.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: No, I just, and it's not like anyone's a bad person.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: I just think they're busy doing their thing and they're just trusting you to be capable, and they're like, Yeah, you're doing a good job.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: But it sucks sometimes because what do we hear?
33:13
SPEAKER_00: Well, immediately if something's wrong, we're gonna hear about it like that.
33:17
SPEAKER_00: But oh, what about the million good things that I did?
33:20
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to life.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: Right?
33:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, that's true.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: Like doing a good job is expected, and of course, you're gonna have to answer for when things go wrong.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you just need to make peace with that.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: You just need to know that's the reality, and I think that's kind of the basis for a lot of this.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: As we sort of wrap up, it's like we can't fight this and resist this, you know.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: It's like this, I think one of the superpowers also to wrap it up is like knowing the reality of things and being able to thrive in reality, not in what should be or what I wish was.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, what actually is and can you thrive in that?
34:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure Paul said, I wish I wasn't in prison.
34:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh, but what do I do?
34:08
SPEAKER_00: Well, then you can't stop me.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna write a letter, which I always am like, who's this jailer that's taking his mail to the mailbox?
34:15
SPEAKER_00: That is very nice of them.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: If I had a prisoner and I was not a Christian, obviously, I'm a Roman, whatever, and they were like, Can you deliver this letter?
34:24
SPEAKER_00: Be like, no, prisoner?
34:26
SPEAKER_00: What a not putting a stamp on that for you.
34:30
SPEAKER_00: So, like, how?
34:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, who?
34:32
SPEAKER_01: Who is this post visitors he kept on having come in?
34:37
SPEAKER_01: Maybe talking to him through the glass.
34:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, maybe not.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: Well, like, does every prisoner get like a free mail?
34:43
SPEAKER_01: It's like everyone's allowed one phone call, everyone's allowed one letter.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: Make it count, Paul.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: Am I the only one that wonders this?
34:50
SPEAKER_00: How did the mail get out of the jail?
34:53
SPEAKER_00: I want to know.
34:54
SPEAKER_00: But he didn't let that stop him.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, well, I guess ministry is over because now I'm in jail because of my job.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, I guess I'll do my job from jail.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, so not what do I wish was?
35:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, what is this experience and how can I thrive despite it?
35:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's also Joseph, right?
35:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure he wasn't so excited to be sold into slavery by his brothers, but then he found a way to thrive.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: He found a way to rise.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: That's such a theme in the Bible.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: Daniel thriving in Babylon, right?
35:24
SPEAKER_00: Like he's been reassigned in a whole identity.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: So you could think game over.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: This isn't fair.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: This isn't just.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: What about my rights?
35:34
SPEAKER_00: Where is God?
35:35
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, guess what?
35:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm still gonna thrive here and I'm gonna rise to the number two position because that's who I am.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: And that's the spirit of God in these people.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: It's not like, what a good guy.
35:47
SPEAKER_00: It's like that's the spirit of God, the spirit of God in each and every one of them that says, you are not a victim of your circumstances, you're not a victim of your boss, you're not a victim of your environment or your church politics.
36:00
SPEAKER_00: How can you thrive and carry out the mission despite?
36:03
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're waiting for all conditions to be perfect, you're gonna be waiting forever.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna be like mad and bitter and griping.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: But I always just am like, okay, throw all that away, laser focus mission, go get it, go run after it, go do what God told me to do.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: Did God tell me, make sure that you get a lot of encouragement along the way?
36:27
SPEAKER_00: No.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: Did he say, make sure you're not being micromanaged?
36:30
SPEAKER_00: And if you are, stand up for your rights.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: Nope.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: He said, You have a mission, just go and do it.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: So that is kind of working for the audience of one.
36:40
SPEAKER_01: Boom.
36:40
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
36:41
SPEAKER_01: That was I didn't see that coming.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: Three minutes was its own episode right there.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: Cut it on.
36:47
SPEAKER_01: Put it in a new episode.
36:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's five superpowers.
36:51
SPEAKER_01: Out of breath.
36:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: If you stuck around for this long, you're probably really glad you did.
36:56
SPEAKER_01: And we are glad you did.
36:58
SPEAKER_01: If you can think of a sixth or seventh superpower that you think should be added, put it in the comment section below.
37:02
SPEAKER_01: We'd love to read that.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: I would.
37:04
SPEAKER_01: All right, let's do a community comment of the day.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: This comes from the one and only Mountain Dew Micah, who says that is such a youth faster name.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: He tell me you're a youth faster without telling me you're a youth pastor.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: Your screen name is Code Red.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: Code Red was taken.
37:21
SPEAKER_01: Uh Mountain Dew Micah says, I use Ministry Coach often for resources for games and other youth ministry tips that are important.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: It is super helpful.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: Yay, Micah.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: Appreciate it.
37:31
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Micah.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: We do appreciate it.
37:33
SPEAKER_01: A lot of helpful.
37:34
SPEAKER_01: We appreciate that.
37:34
SPEAKER_01: And we appreciate you guys watching and listening.
37:37
SPEAKER_01: And we'll see you next time.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Ministry Coach podcast, where every week we give you actionable and practical tips to help you grow a great youth ministry.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Yep, yeah, yeah.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: Are you looking to level up your youth ministry?
37:52
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm just gonna say leadership.
37:54
SPEAKER_00: Today we are talking about dry throat.