Latest / The No Cry Zone / Way to Grow!

Transcript

Way to Grow! · The No Cry Zone

• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: And remember that you've always got a choice.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: What can you do when you know what you know?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: When you see the storm begin to grow.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Speak your mind.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: That intro song is Cobb's Calling, another great song by Brazen Candor.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: It introduces the new book, Cobb Servations, which is available in ebook as well as audiobook formats.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Check it out, please.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a fun read, and as Cobb says, a lifetime of advice that's quicker for you than it's been for me.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Jim Best, and I'm glad you're here.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be candid, shall we?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to your high school graduation.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: As the ceremony is wrapping up, you're saying farewell and good luck to many of your friends and classmates, some of whom you may, frankly, never see again.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And at that time, was there any one of your classmates that you looked at admiringly and thought, there goes a person who will never need to learn another thing in their life.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: No?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe give that person a few years in college and they will be set for life.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: That didn't occur to you either.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm being a bit facetious, of course, here to make a point.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Learning, deliberate learning and studying is a vital skill that becomes more important all the time.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is the most critical life skill.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to talk today about how deliberate learning can become a key advantage for you.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Most people don't have a learning philosophy or a learning process.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: They say they learn something new every day, but that's not a skill.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a benefit of being a primate.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people think they need more motivation to learn more.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or that they need to do something before they do something.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's a self-made obstacle, isn't it?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or they think, if I could just get fired up, if I could just get more disciplined, if I could just want it more.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: But often that's not the real problem.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: The real problem is much more simple.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know how to learn what they need next.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know how to learn, motivation gets wasted.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about something powerful.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You may not need more motivation.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: You may need better ways to learn.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: That will change your life.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: The old model still controls people.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: What am I talking about?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Many adults still carry an outdated belief.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to improve, I need to go back to school.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or if I want to learn something, I'd have to take a class.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'd have to get certified.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'd have to do some extensive reading.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't have time for that.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, something I want to be very clear about.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is not an indictment of formal education.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: But formal education, classwork, is not the only pathway anymore.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And for many goals, it isn't even the best pathway.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Several years ago, it felt like I might be running out of time to achieve one of my long-term goals, attaining an MBA degree.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I had applied and been accepted in five different MBA programs.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm serious.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: But with career and other commitments, I would take a few classes, then have new job responsibilities, or receive a promotion that involved relocation.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I just couldn't find a way with standard college and university learning.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, I found an alternative, online learning.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I did go on to attain my degree and achieve my goal.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And since then, dozens of new resources have been developed to enable virtually anyone to learn just about anything.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to improve communication or get stronger financially or build confidence, learn leadership, start aside business, become healthier, there are now dozens of ways to learn.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: But many people don't realize it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So they delay growth because they imagine growth must look like a classroom.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's costly.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the old paradigm.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about why motivation fails so often.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Someone might say, I need to get in shape.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But then what?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Another person may say I need to be more confident.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Fine.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: But then what?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Someone may say I need to become better with money.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Excellent.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: But then what?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then what is where most people stall?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because goals without learning pathways create confusion.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Confusion drains momentum.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is why some advice sounds good, but changes nothing.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Advice like be more assertive, think positive, be a leader, get organized.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Those are outcomes.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: They are not learning systems.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: People don't need slogans.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: We need routes, pathways, ways to get it done.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go over some of the more modern ways to learn right now.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get practical with this.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Here are new pathways available today.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Microblasts of learning.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Podcast, short lessons, focused videos, newsletters, quick tutorials, ten minutes daily for a year is serious growth.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Never underestimate consistent small inputs.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm gonna make a point here.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is for learning, not entertaining ourselves.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is a big difference, and you know it.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Second method, just in time learning.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Learn right before you need it.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right before you're gonna use it.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Got a difficult conversation tomorrow?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Study communication tonight.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Buying a car next week, study negotiation this week.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Traveling soon, learn phrases now.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: When learning is timely, it sticks better.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's more relevant and meaningful.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Third method, laser point learning.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Start with a problem.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Don't study everything about finance.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, study how to eliminate credit card debt first.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't study all leadership.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to know everything about leadership.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Study how to run a better meeting first.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Specific problems often create specific learning energy and get you started.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then you establish what I call mental footholds and you develop a better understanding of the topic as you grow and learn.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth method, observation studying.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not talking about being a people watcher.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about using observation like Jane Goodall did with the chimpanzees as she was studying them.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: She would sit there for hours observing them, taking notes.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Observing them, taking notes.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Study people who do things well.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Watch great communicators, read the transcripts of their speeches, observe strong managers.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: How do they handle themselves?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: How do they present themselves?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: How do they talk to other people?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Analyze calm people under pressure.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Notice what effective people repeatedly do.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Humans learn this way for thousands of years, not just watching, observing, using our minds.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth method, learning by rehearsal.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot read your way into every skill.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Confidence requires reps.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Communication requires reps.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries require reps.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Leadership requires reps.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Knowledge plus rehearsal becomes capability.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, vivid mental rehearsal is the key to identity shaping.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's what we want to talk about because this is a key requirement for many skills.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's confidence.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Confidence is usually learned.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Many people think confidence is a trait.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Often it isn't.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is frequently the result of familiarity, competence, repeated exposure, better interpretation of mistakes, and accumulated evidence.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: That means confidence can be built, and it's a skill.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: A person terrified of public speaking can improve dramatically.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: A shy person can become socially smoother.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Remember from last week, a shy person can become a social zamboni, smoothing things over, handling things well.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: A disorganized person can become highly effective, not through wishing, through learning and repetition.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: That should encourage many of us, shouldn't it?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now I want to talk about some of the thoughts that we have that are learning obstacles.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Replace this, I'm just not good at that.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, say this.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: People think I'm bad with money, well, maybe not.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were never taught systems of handling money.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: People think I'm awkward socially, maybe not.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need practice and feedback.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: People may think I'm not disciplined, maybe not.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need environment design and momentum habits.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Precision in how you diagnose what you need to work on matters.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: How to learn without feeling overwhelmed.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Use the thirty day skill sprint.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one area, such as communication, fitness basics, nutrition, organization, money management, leadership, calmness under pressure.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then for thirty days, do this daily.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Ten minutes learning, ten minutes applying, two minutes reflecting.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Write that in your highlight journal.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's manageable.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it beats waiting six months for the perfect plan, and it beats waiting until September to sign up for classes at the local university.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Perfectionism delays what consistency solves.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, why this matter so much emotionally?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to be aware of this.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: When people don't know how to improve, they are often ashamed.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: They think, What's wrong with me?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think nothing is wrong with you.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're undertrained.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: That is a much healthier frame, isn't it?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the problem isn't character.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're missing tools.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the problem isn't laziness.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know the clear pathway.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the problem isn't weakness, it's outdated methods.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: That distinction, those distinctions can relieve unnecessary suffering.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So let's set a new personal development standard.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: We need to stop only telling people be stronger, be smarter, work harder, want it more, believe in yourself instead.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Here is how to learn that.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here is how to practice that.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Here is how to simplify that.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Here is how to improve it in small steps.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And here is how average people do this currently.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's actionable encouragement.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: That is practical hope.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that is doable and durable progress.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's the closing challenge.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one area of life where you feel a little bit behind.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just one.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask, do I truly lack ability or do I lack a modern learning pathway?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: That question could save you years.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then build a simple system.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Learn a little, apply a little, repeat a lot until it becomes natural.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's how lives quietly but dramatically enjoyably change.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, in my blogs on Upwards Best, I generally have a best in small doses.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna add that here today in the no-cry zone.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Many people don't need more motivation, they need a clearer way to learn.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Growth often begins the moment confusion ends, and you can end it yourself.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is the no-cry zone, positive change that is doable and durable.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: If this helped you, share it with someone who thinks they're stuck.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: They may not be stuck, they may simply be one learning pathway away.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's very good news.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: They'll thank you for the help.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Remember to grab a copy of Cobservations.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: You'll enjoy it, and it makes a great gift for family and friends.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And keep listening to Brazen Candor at brazencandor.com, Spotify, Deezer, and many other music sources.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, have a fantastic week.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: What can you do when you know what you know?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: And you watch the whole world spinning out of control.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody wants power.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: No one wants advice.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody wants your feedback.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: As long as it's so nice, speak your mind.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody, you're still back, remember that you always get to it.