Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / Faith & Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Transcript
- Pete: Welcome to another exciting episode of Pete for anxiety. My guest today is a cognitive behavioral therapist, international speaker and the founder of several global ministries, including the, including the transformational, the faith field, translational movement, W3, the weight loss without willpower, sisterhood, and the praise moves, the Christian alternative to yoga. Please welcome in Dr. Lorette Willis. Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. Dr. Laurette Willis: Hey Pete, thank you so much for having me on today. Pete: Now, now Dr. Lurik comes in from our good friend Jay from ⁓ Rockin' Recovery as I guess he reached out to me. told me that he had suggested me. So of course we naturally gotta bring her on. So Lurik, why don't you tell everybody a little more about yourself? peter: Show ⁓ Pete: It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. Dr. Laurette Willis: Yes, absolutely. Well, I must say, Pete, that the only thing that qualifies me for all the great things that I'm blessed to do is everything I've done wrong. You know, found that ⁓ by doing those things wrong and then turning them over to God and just surrendering my life and saying, you know, if you can use anything, you can use me. And it's everything that was a negative in my life has been turned around into a platform of health and and help for others, which is really amazing because people say, wow, okay, she's not a talking head. She's been through it. She's had some stuff go on. And that's so great because people feel a connection that way. Pete: Yeah, definitely. Because if you've been there, it's easier to connect to somebody. Because that first thought always comes up, well, what do you know about anything? they're like, well, know, as matter of fact, let me drop it on you. Just start telling them about a lot of the things. So cognitive behavioral therapists, that's an interesting sub area to be in. Is that something you've always wanted to do? Or is it just something you discovered as you were going through school? You're like, hey, listen, this kind of interests me. Dr. Laurette Willis: Well, I discovered it later, actually. It's something that I've actually been doing for years, but didn't have a name for it. It was really kind of funny. And then I discovered about it. And what I focus on, Pete, is renewing the mind plus retraining the brain using neuroscience principles and techniques based on scripture. I put the two together. So I take the CBT, the cognitive behavioral therapy, the neuroscience, part, but then I blend it with renewing the mind on Pete: Okay. Okay, okay. Dr. Laurette Willis: on scripture, ancient wisdom, finding ways to really solidify it in the spirit as well. So because we're a whole person, we're not just a walking head, right? It's a spirit, soul and body. And your soul is your mind, will and emotions. So if you get all of that working together, you're going to have the issues that you're looking at recovering from. You're going to have that stick and stay longer when you include. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: the whole person. It's like being on a diet just works on the physical, you know, for example. But when you look at the reason why we've put on the excess weight and we get to that root, it's like, okay, so when the diet's over, we're still left with ourselves, right? And that's where yo-yo dieting comes from. So that's what had happened to me for decades, Pete, because I started eating compulsively as an emotional eater when I was six years old. Pete: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: you know, and used it to cope. And then later it was alcohol when I was 13 and just had a lot of coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma in my life. Pete: Yeah, no, I love the fact that you're going for everything. The whole the whole approach overall is it's just a great idea. The concept that you're well rounded into everything. I think that people tend to just pick certain things, but I don't think they realize everything is all connected, you know, especially with that and things like that, too. know, it's 13, though, for alcohol is really it's kind of interesting, though. Like, is it just like was it just beer? Was it hard liquor? Was it in and how long were you an alcoholic for? Dr. Laurette Willis: Yeah, it was for 16 years, a high functioning alcoholic. Yeah, started at 13. Mostly ⁓ but also ⁓ scotch, things like, ⁓ just even thinking about it, it's anathema to me. I so changed from those years that even the thought of it, it was actually a miracle. I was delivered from it when I turned my life over to the Lord. He completely delivered me from alcoholism, totally wiped from my brain. ⁓ Pete: Jeez. Dr. Laurette Willis: I was lonely, man. I wanted someone to love me for myself. I was 29. I was living in a new age community in Northeastern Oklahoma on the top of a mountain. the day before this happened, I heard what I believe is the audible voice of the Lord, which I used to hear when I was real little, when I was a child. I was very close to God. But it like this wall came up and for many years I was separated from. And I was really into metaphysics, new age. I was a psychic. I was a channel. ⁓ Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: ⁓ I did everything from A to Z, astrology to Zoroastrianism and everything in between. I was still lonely. I'd been an actor in New York, the woman of 101 voices. I was a comedian, improv, ⁓ I felt empty on the inside. So here I am at 29 years old. ⁓ I was like, I wanted someone to love me for myself. I'd never been married. And I'd been to all these places, all these sacred sites throughout the world in Europe. and backpacking around, went to Machu Picchu in South Africa, South America rather, in Peru, still felt this emptiness. So was March 31st, the before April Fool's Day, when I was 29 years old, and I was driving home to my house top of the mountain. And I heard this behind me, and I pulled off on the side of the dirt road. ⁓ And it was the voice that I remembered from when I was a little girl and asked me a very compelling question. What if everything you thought about God was completely wrong? Would you be willing to give it up to know the truth? Whoa, what if everything I thought about God was completely wrong? I be willing to give it up to know the truth? I had invested thousands of dollars and years, 22 years, ages seven till I was 29 in the new age and yoga. That was how mom and I got into it through. Pete: Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: the door of yoga, which is considered like a missionary arm to it. It doesn't work that way for everybody, but it did for me, right? And so like the next day was April Fool's Day. I was like, yeah, I felt this battle, this battle man going on the inside of me. And I just cried out. said, I surrender, I give up, you win. If you can do something with this life, you could have it. ⁓ I fell on my knees. And I said, if you want me to be alone, then give me peace. ⁓ you want me to be with someone, send them soon. because I can't live like this anymore. And I fell on my face, and I felt this physical weight lift off me, which is like 30 pounds, like this weight. It was the weight of sin. I didn't even believe in sin. You we were taught it was an acronym for self-inflicted nonsense. know, Jesus, ⁓ he was just a good teacher, right? You know, and it's like, whoa, this weight just came off me that I thought was just my body on the earth. then peace came upon me for the first time in my life. And from the center of that peace, joy. ⁓ Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: And I was like, whoa. And I realized later, I was completely delivered from alcoholism at that very moment. I never had another drink, totally washed from my brain. And four days later, I met my husband, Paul, who had three years clean and sober. So alcohol drugs never came into our relationship. And we were married three months later on, we call it interdependence day, the 4th of July. And it's just, so that's my miracle story to share with you. ⁓ Pete: So how long have you guys been married? Dr. Laurette Willis: Oh, gracious good afternoon. It is coming up on 39 years. Yeah. Pete: Wow. That's so awesome though, because I feel the same way you do about faith though. I always had my differences about it, because you know the way it's always been presented to you. People try to just force feed it to you. I'm just not the person that buys into that kind of stuff. But when I had talked to a pastor about it, this gentleman came in where I work, and I were just discussing it, and the way he presented it was more palatable for me. And ever since I accepted faith, things just started happening. The idea for the show came to me. I was sitting there and hit me, you what about Pete versus anxiety? You know, because every day battle my anxiety, which I do, you know, it, and it's interesting because ever since the beginning of the show, it's like ever since that day, just something weird has happened. Like it's like the show took off the first, like I used to do a weekly Monday show when I did this, uh, because I joined a podcast and never showed the show booked all the way to the end of the year instantly. was like, Holy crap. Okay. What's going on here? I'm like had a hundred plus emails of people just responding to me. Then I added a second time slot. Shot away at the end of the year. Okay. So then we go to, we go fast forward to November. I'm only into 2025 in the first season of this show, like people lining up for both time slots on Mondays just to be on the show to talk to me, just some random person who says, you know, Hey, listen, I have this idea for a podcast is how to start. And then just all of a sudden it just took off. Like, this is what I meant. I was meant to do a long time ago. And it's funny you say astrology because I had a star chart reading done on the show and it says that, that Podcasting is actually in my star chart. It's literally in the 11th house. was a lot of activity in 11th house actually and things like that. So I get it though. I believe it. know it sounds, a lot of people are going be like, wait a minute, this sounds a little hokey. But I'm like, it's just how you experience it though. like, how is something going to tell you how you experience faith is wrong? That's what you did. You accepted it and everything just seemed to change. I could agree to the same thing. Dr. Laurette Willis: ⁓ yeah. That's right. Pete: not a very huge spiritual person, but there's just things I can't explain that happen. then later on, I got into the principle of energy. ⁓ can sense people's energy because you don't like our brains and just say, ⁓ all made of energy and things like that. ⁓ I can sense people's energy. So the minute I meet people, the first thing I'm doing is gauging. So when I'm talking to you for a few minutes beforehand, it's because I'm trying to gauge whether or not this conversation is really going to go well. ⁓ Almost 99 % of the time, can tell you that most of these conversations have gone well. There's only like four times. But it's like, more because like they just don't want to talk. It's like, you're on a show, I'm here talking about you. You don't want to talk about yourself. Like, how do you, I don't understand how you expect this interview to go. Like, I'm like, hello, I'm here talking to you. You know, but it was just like, it's just like, I didn't get it though. And then one of them was a podcast host. And I'm just thinking like, how are you interviewing people? Like, Dr. Laurette Willis: It's a little hard. Pete: You like don't know how to hold the conversation. It's scary because it's like you're recording a podcast. So what are you talking about the whole time? Like, you know, you're like you're wondering these questions as you're talking to some of these people, you know, and I've heard some wild stories in here this morning. I had an interview. God, I couldn't even tell you that this this woman's story went all over the place for 45 minutes. I have hardly anything to say, and it's hard to say that for me. I am hardly ever rendered speechless. But this woman is the second time this season has rendered me speechless because her story was I was like, OK, hang on. Here we go. Get on the roller coaster. And we're just going up and down the whole time. I'm just like, holy crap. I get it, though. I ⁓ think it's great. think it's awesome because you met your husband four days later. Six months later, you're married. People are like, ⁓ wait, no, she's doing this too long. But 39 years, it's hard to say that she was wrong for doing so. Dr. Laurette Willis: Yeah, it's kind of amazing. know, and I'm like you in a lot of ways that when someone would share about faith with me, I thought they were talking about religion. And I was like, no, no, And you look at the word religion, it means to bind back. That's, you know, from the Latin to bind back. But this isn't religion, it's a relationship. And my husband, Paul and I, we've talked about this so many times. Why didn't someone ever explain to us that this was about having a relationship with God? Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, exactly. Dr. Laurette Willis: through Jesus, that there's this actual real personal relationship you can have, intimate on the inside, Holy Spirit on the inside. I was like, whoa, really? And so, because that's what I'd been looking for my whole life. And mom and I, when I was seven, got into yoga thinking it was just exercise, but it led us into, yeah, it led us going to the ashram and all this. I got into new age and like I said, psychic, I was a channel and doing all the things. Pete: ⁓ my god, yes. I think those are all interesting things. We're going to get into those soon too. Don't worry. We're going to get it. We're going to explore the list of things you just listed there. Comedians, psychic, all these things. Girl, you just went down the whole list. I'm just like, okay, this is interesting now. real quick about yoga. Anybody listening, okay? Talk all the shit you want about yoga, but go and do it and then tell me that you don't have the greatest experience of your life. Like for the most low impact things ever, your heart is racing. Dr. Laurette Willis: Okay, okay, it's in there. ⁓ all of it. Pete: and the things you're feeling, it's like you're not doing hardly anything, but it's such an impact. Like it was the greatest feeling ever. It's like I've never had the greatest workout ever than the one session of yoga I did before I started doing it more for my flexibility and things like that. Like it was so interesting because I always talk, I was saying make jokes about yoga, but then I did it. was like, nevermind, forget this. I'm not saying another word about this. Holy crap. I can see why people do this. Dr. Laurette Willis: Mm-hmm. praise moves, that's our ministry and it's the Christian alternative ⁓ yoga. It's different. Every stretching posture ⁓ is assigned a scripture that we meditate upon and speak aloud while doing a stretching strengthening posture. ⁓ And it's like you're getting into the word, you're getting into, it's like it becomes a whole part of you. We like saying transform your workouts into worship with praise moves. And we have hundreds of instructors all over the world. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: fitness ministers, they're called women and men ages 18 to 80s on six continents. I mean, it's just amazing, certified praise moves instructors. And we've got free videos and things people can do the workouts with us. But you're absolutely right. There's something so powerful about gentle, deep diaphragmatic breathing and moving your body. Because really, if you don't move it, you lose it. You wanna be able to keep getting that. that synovial fluid moving through the joints. We've had so many testimonies of people that, ⁓ you know, like don't have to go to the chiropractor anymore, or they hold their adjustments longer, or, you know, they'd have back surgeries, or they had a lot of, if I may say, anxiety and trauma, but they found that, wow, by doing praise moves, getting into the word, just feeling that connection, they don't have the same experiences that they had previously. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like I said though, yoga helped a lot because I hurt my back when I was younger. I thought it was Superman and I had messed it up. And when I started doing that, noticed my flexibility was coming back. I had more movement, range of motion was coming back and things like that too. So, you know, I use it as a practice now for things like that as well. And I do a lot of breath work and things like that as well too, cause it helps like when I, when I feel the anxiety come on, you know, and things like that too. my anxiety now, I don't let it really control me anymore. It's more like you use it as like an awareness system is something going wrong. Like Like normally if I wake up out of dead asleep and I'm having anxiety, like my heart starts racing, it's the first indicator that something's not right. And 99 % of the time I'm right. Something weird has happened. Like, you know, the last time it happened, my ex-wife showed up where I worked and I was like, ⁓ great, here we go. I knew something wasn't right and here it is, disturbance came, you know. and things like that too. know, so I don't like it's gotten better since the day one of the show, like in all the different guests I've met, I take a lot of the techniques they go. And obviously I'm going to go check out this for sure, because there's videos on, I like videos online because I go check them out wherever I'm at. I can do it wherever I'm at kind of thing like that too, you know? So I'm always interested to learn new things, you know? And that's when they start to show that the curiosity was already there. Like I was just curious to know more like why we're not talking about these things more. And we're not talking about things in general, like, know, and I don't cap any kind of I talk about everything. don't have any limits to whatever it is. Because people always ask me, so what do you guys talk about in your show? Everything. Like, why not? There's mental health, it's everything. know, fate is involved. These other things, like you don't, I don't close anything off as any area won't. I think I've only four times said no to four different conversations, but they were just like so off the wall. It's like, yeah, I don't think so. Sorry. So, you know, and things like that. I've had a sidekick on the show. I've had people that have written 11 books that had a spirit that channeled through them that wrote it. So like. And I had an experience in one of those episodes where I did one with a woman who had a head, it had something she called spirit channeled through her when she was writing. And it almost felt like spirit touched me too, because like I was sitting there, she said, Hey, I want to read something to you. So reading to me and all of a sudden nothing around me existed. Like everything just kind of blanketed over me where I was sitting and you could just see me stare off into space. I'm going blank, completely blank for like five minutes when she's reading to me. And I stopped and then she just smiles because she knows exactly what just happened. It's like something reached out and touched me and I couldn't explain to what it was. was just that feeling. It's just everything around me just went completely silent except for what she was saying. Because I had my headphones on obviously. Everything around me didn't exist. You could have been screaming at me outside this phone. I would have never heard a single thing you said because I was so focused on what she was saying. ⁓ hard to deny your with faith because it's the same thing to me. After I accepted faith, look at everything that's happened. The show took off, you know, things like that. I'm, I'm, I'm known in like all these different continents and things like that too. have guests come in from all these, I've emails coming from people all over the world that reach out to me that want to be on the show and want to come talk to me. And you know, I'm just an average person. I don't know anything. I'm not an expert. I'm just a person that's curious why we're not having these conversations, you know? And it was just like, it's ever since that one moment, cause everything else up to that point was just kind of like, I had a podcast prior. We were just kind of messing around, doing some stuff. I always wanted the podcast. You know, and it's like, all right, this ain't working. We're having a lot of difficulties, you know, when you bring in other people in the projects, it's a lot harder when you have multiple different thoughts in the same. I was the only one driven to do it. It was like, OK, I'm going to take a break. And it was during that time period I took that break is where I told you I met that pastor that came in and we talked and Pastor White was the guy I talked to. I still talk to him to stay and things like that, too. And he was talking to me and he was like, you know, you have a weird connection with people. You know, he told me he's like, hey, listen, you ever ever told you of this connection with people like. You can talk to anybody that comes in here and make them feel safe and they'll tell you things that they don't tell normal people. And he's like, I just watched you and I was just watching how you interact with people and how you're so always, how people just engage with you and how they're always eager to talk to you and things like that too. And it was weird because I was just like, I never really noticed it until people started telling me that. But then like I said, when we, I started doing this show, it's just the demand alone of people that wanted to be here. And then all the emails I'm getting this year and up to this year. You know, it just says a lot and then people start talking about me. In fact, in the first season of this show, the month of December, I had somebody that came on that was had another mental podcast called Mentally a Badass. She was talking about me during one of our episodes. I had this weird feeling like somebody saying something about you like that whole, ⁓ your ears are ringing. Somebody's talking about you. I a weird feeling like somebody had been talking about me. So I was I found that she had another person I know, another host I had I had on. was a friend of mine. They had actually had a conversation, didn't know I knew both of them. OK, so she goes, hey, do know Pete for his anxiety? And I was just like, wait, they're talking about me. I was like, sitting stunned. I'm like, they're talking about me. Holy shit, this person's talking about me. Is they talking about me? Hold on. They say, I played it back like a thousand times. I just kept hearing her say my name. And then the other person's like, oh, yeah, I know Pete. You know, and it's like, OK, maybe I got something here because these people are still talking about me, you know? And then it just kept growing and going. And then. Dr. Laurette Willis: Yeah. Pete: I had a friend that has like 100,000 followers in YouTube and she was like, well, Pete, I got to ask you something. said, what? goes, why is it your name comes up more than my name does? And I have more followers than you do at this point. I'm like, I don't know. I'm just good at marketing, I guess. know, people just like to talk to me. So like the inside joke between our group is that I'm the master networker because everybody knows Pete. So when you reached out and Jay said, you said, Jay, was laughing because I was laughing. I'm like, Jay's getting to that level where I'm at. Because now it's like when people, Jay mentions people as a guest, say, listen, you should check this person out. I don't think twice because I do the same thing for Jay. lot of Jay's earlier guests on his show were all people I said to him that were a guest on my show. And they're like, ⁓ yeah, this one comes in from Pete first anxiety, you know, and everything like that too. So, you know, and things like that as well. So it's laughing when you when you message me and said, well, Jay. had recommended to you and I was laughing like, yep, all right, okay, I like it. Because it was always me sending things to him and then he kind of sent people back here and there. Then when you reached out, it made me laugh a little bit. So I was like, okay, I like it. My protege is doing something now because I always joke with Jay and tell him like he's a terrible networker. He just laughs at me all the time. So, but you know, it's great though. So I'm kind of interested though. As we run down that list of things you were listing, comedian? Dr. Laurette Willis: No. Thank Pete: You were doing comedy? Like, how long did you do comedy for? Because I love comedy. Dr. Laurette Willis: Well, I was known as the woman of 101 voices and I did the Betty Boop Show off Broadway. You know, Betty Boop, I certainly was. Boop, boop, bee-doo, hum. That was one of the voices. yeah, I did a lot of, I was a caricaturist, ⁓ I'm a playwright and a director. ⁓ I did that for about 30 years, speaker and running the ministries at the same time, doing different things all at once. But when I was in New York, that was before my... ⁓ Pete: Get the hell out of here, that's awesome! Dr. Laurette Willis: ⁓ faith experience, you could say. And it was just a different, it was a different life. You know, I was laughing on the outside, yeah, it was, well, it was laughing on the outside, but feeling empty on the inside. I had a tremendous desire to serve, to give, but I didn't know what to give. The only place I really felt comfortable was on stage. ⁓ was my comfort zone. But out speaking with people was very difficult. I was ruled and riddled by fear. Pete: Yeah, ⁓ yeah, definitely. Comedy definitely is, though. Dr. Laurette Willis: most of my life and I didn't realize fear was a spirit. I thought it was an emotion. ⁓ When I learned 2 Timothy 1,7 that says, God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind. I was like, ⁓ man, you're kidding. it's a spirit? I thought it was an emotion. I thought it was me. ⁓ I learned that you can rebuke that thing in the name of Jesus, rebuke. What does that mean? It just means tell it to go in the authority in the name of Jesus, that spirit. So when I feel that, because I've had, Pete: Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: fear come on me where it does like, ⁓ it's like a wave going over it and I rebuke it in the name of Jesus and it has to go and it does. that's what makes such a difference because when you have that, that fear, ⁓ that's I drank, that's why I overate, that's why I smoked, that's why I did all those things to try to have some status quo. ⁓ But when I surrendered my life to the Lord, wow, just that the peace that came was ⁓ so ⁓ And know, what you're sharing with me, Pete: Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: Pete is so cool because you started when you had that experience of faith, you started walking by faith, walking by faith and not, okay, I'm gonna do this next step. I'm gonna do this next step. I don't necessarily see where it's going, but I'm gonna do this next step. And it's called walking by faith and not by sight. Hebrews 11 one says that faith is a substance. What? Yeah, faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. And that word hope. Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: ⁓ In Hebrew, it means earnest expectation. And it comes with it the picture of a runner throwing himself or herself across the finish line. So think of this. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, that you're expecting. And it's the evidence of things not seen, not yet seen. What's that evidence? The peace that you have inside. It's like, okay, man, I don't have the whole picture yet, but you know what? I got this peace on the inside of me. I'm doing the right thing. I'm taking it a step at a time. following the Lord. I'm walking by faith and not by sight. I call it walking on the water of the word, you know, and it's the safest place to be. There was a book by Stormy O'Mardy and years and years ago, which says it so well, the title, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On. And that's it. We have just enough light for the step we're on. But the moment that, you I just feel the Lord calling me to... take this other step just to do this. This is the next step that I'm to do. I don't necessarily see where it's going, but I'm lifting my foot in faith to take that step. Bam, the light comes on that step. And it's like, all right, but you have to take that step first and then one at a time. And it's great. there's no leaps of faith. There's nothing in the Bible talks about leaps of faith. It's just steps and they're not baby steps. They're just steps. Pete: Yeah. Yeah, that's something. Yeah, no, I agree, though, because I just continue doing the show and every week I just kept having this feeling like I'm going to do this regardless, because me and my partner. Sorry, at the time we had discussed it, which my current ex wife is now her and I were discussing it and she did. She was so against it. And it was just like, I don't know why you're so against me doing this. And she's like, well, you know, she presented some reasons that made sense. One of that is just like, I just have this feeling like I got to do this. I don't know why. why this topic just hit me. And like I said, it just hit me that one day it just hit me. Like I was looking at this picture or something and I said, what about Pete versus anxiety? He is like, they said that battle every day, people battle their anxieties every day and things like that. At first my anxiety was really bad, but after I started doing the show, it was almost like a therapeutic moment. Every time you go on and hit record these people, like my anxiety would be really bad. Now I can hit record and have a conversation with anybody. And everybody's like, oh, do you prepare? Dude, I prepare for what? Like I just come in and it's half the things I, it's just me. It's a hundred percent me. It's a hundred percent Pete. That's all you know. And my, my, my partner now, she and I, she said before she even decided to even entertain my first message of hello, she was like, I want to check you out to see if it's real. I said, okay. So she's like, I went scoured, checked your podcast. And I was just like, I just kind of peeked in on what you were doing and different things to see what, if you're really just the same person, you know? And then she said, that's what brought her to me was that the fact that I was so authentic and you know, and we, We, the first time we met, she was like that too. She was like, I was just wondering if you're the same person that you're on all these things. And she's like, you are, you know, you're more than that because I was very understanding given her situation of things she dealt with, lot of trauma she's had, you know, I'm, like no one she's ever dealt with because like, I'm so understanding. I get it. I understand things, you know, in the fact that I'm very accepting of like everything she's dealt with, like I understand it's not her fault. It's just all things that were done to her. It wasn't things she chose to happen, you know, since starting the show. Dr. Laurette Willis: Mm-hmm. Hey, can I throw out a weird thing to you that I think might be a lot of fun to do? This is ⁓ one of the things I like doing are little exercises, like little techniques. And is, ⁓ I this in coaching. I do this in our weight loss without willpower, sisterhood. ⁓ We've women lose 70 and more pounds and it's off for over two years without dieting. We like saying, don't diet, live it. Pete: Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: And so it's group coaching. It's again renewing the mind on the word of God and retraining the brain using neuroscience principles and techniques based on scripture. I'm going to share one with you right now. And it's an exercise we can do that cuts cravings in 10 to 15 seconds. You want to try it? You ready? All right, man. All you need is a pen or a stone or a key or just something small to hold in your hand. Now, if you're driving, please don't do this. Pete: Thank God I need this. I really need it too. I'm going to try it. Let's go for it. Dr. Laurette Willis: wait until you come home, come back to the episode and then you can do it, all right? But you take your pen and what I want you to do is think of your favorite craving food and you know exactly where it is. It's in the freezer, it's in the refrigerator, it's in the cupboard, it's in the pantry, you know exactly where it is. you see yourself going to it and it's whenever there's maybe a little stress or you're bored or I know for me it was like, you know, I'd have to work on this project and it was like, Pete: Okay. Okay. Dr. Laurette Willis: Let me get a snack, you and I go and I get a snack, that thing, you know? So it's like that thing, you realize, okay, I'm not hungry. I just want, I want to go to the comfort food instead of the comforter. I want to just stuff it, I want something. I just want to put something in my mouth. There was that feeling, you know, I just got to have it now. So you know where it is now. Don't worry, we're going to cut the crate. It's, this is a bilateral brain stimulation technique and watch what happens right now. Pete: Right, exactly, yeah. Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: So I want you to see yourself, you're reaching for whatever that food is. Now, the dopamine rush that people get is usually in the anticipation, the moment right before it happens. That's why we wanna cut that craving, those excitotoxins and things that they put in a lot of that food is to keep us ingesting it. So what we're going to do is we're gonna cut it right now. So you see yourself reaching for that food. Now take that pen or whatever's in your hand and go from one hand to the other, one hand to the other, one hand to the other, five, four, Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: Three, two, and repeat after me, please. All things are lawful for me. Pete: All things are lawful for me. Dr. Laurette Willis: But not all things are helpful. Pete: But not all things are helpful. Dr. Laurette Willis: All things are lawful for me. Pete: All things are lawful for me. Dr. Laurette Willis: But I will not be brought under the power of any. Pete: but I will not be bought under the power of any. Dr. Laurette Willis: 1 Corinthians 6, 12. That's where it's located right there. Where did the craving go, Pete? Yeah, isn't that neat? See, it's that bilateral brain stimulation technique by doing that thing. cuts that circuit and then we solidify it with something that gets the spirit aspect of us involved. I'll be reaching for a snack, for example, and all of a sudden I just feel the Lord say, okay, go ahead, say it. can't just think it, you gotta say it. Pete: It went away. Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: Okay, all things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me. And then it just comes up like, ⁓ will not be brought under the power of any. Woo dogs, that's what I was looking for. That was the fullness, man, that I was looking for, that that food or the distraction, the addiction, whatever it is can never give you. Pete: Mm-hmm, true. It's true though, because we did an episode with a guest where we looked into what's in your food, man. All right, I'll tell you what, girl, scary. ⁓ scary, the things that are in there. We were discussing all the additives and all the crazy stuff they put in there. And it's just like, it's an eye-opening thing, like when you really start reading labels of stuff and seeing what's in there. And when you can't pronounce 90 % of the words that are on there, probably shouldn't be ingesting them. But we do anyways, because they're very addictive. Because think like fast food, what it's doing is it fixes that. that need for us that we want to fix that we want it now thing and you don't need it. Sorry. You don't need it. You know what I mean? Like even, know, I'm hungry. You know, I'll get hungry sometimes. And I'm just like, I think about it. I'm like, I just don't have the effort to get up and go get it. That's 90 % of the time. It's like, I really don't want to get it, but I have these weird cravings that come every so often. Like I crave certain foods, like weird, just weird things like, like hot dogs, for an example, like every so often. have this weird craving where I'll just go on this like binge like I just want hot dogs. That's all I want. It's just a hot dog and it's just weird. I don't know what it is. All of sudden it pops in my head. You know, and I work in a convenience store right now at night while I record this show. And that's the hardest part though is like it's right there. Like I can see it and I'm like, I'm diabetic as well. So like sugar, Oh man, let me tell you, whoo, I'm standing there. We have Krispy Kreme donuts in the store. So like I don't have no interest in them whatsoever. Like, you know, at this point it's like, Dr. Laurette Willis: ⁓ wow. Pete: I'm not interested in them at all. Like I see them, they're there. It's like, okay, I can get to them. But that's the principle thought I use a lot of times. It's like, well, it's there if I want it, I go get it. So then go get it. You know, it's like you're having a conversation. You're like, we'll go get it then. Well, I don't really feel like I want to get it right now. I don't want to walk over there. It's like I make up reasons why I can't go get it when I start craving a lot of stuff. So I'll give myself reasons why I can't do it. You know, like I'll talk myself out of it. Man, I really want this. No, you don't need it. Why do you need that? You know, like you start questioning yourself on why, why do you really need these things? Dr. Laurette Willis: Well, you know. You You brought up a really good point, Pete, because one thing that you said earlier, you said, I would have this thought. I would have this thought. Not getting in touch with the hunger signal that God placed in your body. I didn't have a hunger signal for like 30 years. I didn't have a full signal. I would just eat until it was gone. You know, just that it'll be a clean plate clubber, you know, that. But now what we do is we learn, OK, am I truly hungry? And that's what we pay attention to. There's that signal. Pete: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: And then we stop at enough. We learn how to stop at enough. Now, are we always successful? No, but we're learning. And you know what happens if we go over it? We have something that we call a UEE. It takes a lot of the guilt out of it. It means an unplanned eating event. It's not like, ⁓ I'm so bad. Because usually if it's like, ⁓ it's the guilt, I'm just going to eat the whole rest of the thing because I already blew the diet anyway. We're not doing a diet. We're doing a live it. We're learning how to live this way one day at a time. Jessica Minter in Oklahoma City. She dropped 70 pounds. She's a young mom been off for over two and a half years She said I never thought about inviting God into my weight loss journey I could live like this the rest of my life and then there's a lady Schumar in Pittsburgh She's co-owner of a pizza shop. Whoever heard of anybody losing weight as a pizza shop owner Well, she's had 65 pounds gone. She's a grandma. It's been off for over two years ⁓ it's about getting back in touch with how God designed our bodies and then look at Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: Why is it that I have that craving? What is, you see, for me, it wasn't an addiction to food. It was an overeating problem. No, it was an under feeling problem. Under feeling, not allowing myself to really get in touch with these feelings. See, when I grew up, my mother, my parents, know, ⁓ looked beautiful on the outside. They were both attorneys. My mother was the first woman assistant district attorney on Long Island. She also taught at the. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: university. My dad was a judge, but my mother was also a high functioning alcoholic, was diagnosed schizophrenic, had three nervous breakdowns when I was growing up. My dad was an emotional eater and also would fly into rages sometimes. So I went to the food when I was six years old. Sadly, at 24, my mother took her own life and I saw myself going the same way as an alcoholic. And I'd hear these voices in my head that Pete: Yeah. Dr. Laurette Willis: I used to like when I was a little kid when people would say, ⁓ you're just like your mother because she was beautiful. She was perfect to me. I thought she was amazing. But after she had taken her own life, it was a different voice. You're just like your mother. that was really scary. ⁓ I'm so glad that I came to the end of myself and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ that I could be delivered from all of that. ⁓ it's so important to get in touch with, ⁓ am I? Okay, I'm about to eat something. Am I even hungry? Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: Just if you start there, you know, we have this little song that we sing. Can I sing a song to you? Is that okay? Okay, it's gonna sound like a little silly, but you know, there's something about being childlike. We have five things that we do in weight loss without willpower. We pray and plan, drink water, we move our body, we journal, and we make sure we get enough sleep. And it goes like this. Pray and plan, water, move, journal, sleep. Pete: Yeah, definitely. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: For the Lord all my life he will keep. When I pray and plan, drink water, move and journal sleep. All my life my precious Lord will keep. Now does everybody sing that song? No, I sing this song because it helps me remember and it helps me get back in touch with the little child that I really wanted to be on the inside. Pete: You know, it sounds like like it likes like those old school commercials, like that whole the whole sound of it sounds just like when it was old school, like infomercial kind of things like you like those commercials for like all the like the little different like whatever childlike product they're trying to sell to the younger viewers and things like that. And it has that feel of that. So I get it, though. You know what mean? That whole. Dr. Laurette Willis: ⁓ Mm-hmm It's it's fun. Yeah, and it's just getting back in touch with that not childish but childlike You know, there's the scripture that says except you receive the kingdom of God as a little child you by no means enter it There's something about not being so smart man. I was so smart for my own good I thought you know, and I just realized you know, I've really come to the end of myself the determination that the Pete: Yeah, the childlike feeling. Dr. Laurette Willis: The decisions that we make as children, a lot of times they can have a profound effect on us. And I remember, I think there was something going on at home with my parents and I was about eight years old and I was kneeling on the bed looking out the window. It was summertime. I was wearing shorts and a red and white checked little shirt. I remember it so well. And digging my fingernails into the tops of my thighs as I sat on top of my bed and I said, I will never be weak. I will always be strong. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: And why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe someone who's listening here today is saying, you know, I made a very important decision when I was young, something like that, and it has held me back. So I'd invite you to take a look at some of those decisions that we've made when we were little, and maybe we're past a point where they're not gonna help us anymore, and we can kind of give up those old thoughts and accept a newer version of ourselves. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know, I feel like that too. I feel like the evolution of is what I tell people. Somebody, you know, the new Pete versus the old Pete, how I used to be to where I'm now. I did a lot of self reflecting too over the last few months and things like that and accepted my blame for the things I was a part of where I would never do that before, you know, and things like that too. And then the evolution of me through the show, like anybody's watched day one to now, they'll see like the change of the conversation style. the different things I'm learning as I go and the different things I bring up because at first I didn't really share my own story and things like that. And then in the middle of season one, the second half of the year, I just woke up one day and just said, forget it. I'm just going to go for it. Why not? What do I have to lose at this point? I'm already on the internet. Everybody can see this stuff here. Everything I'm saying. So what else is there to lose at this point? I might as well just be real with people. And it seems like ever since I was just been authentically real about things like that, it's attracted more people in and you know, And I've changed as a person too, because I'm not the same person I used to be now, because before I was an angry person, mad at the world, didn't know what I was upset about. And now, know, to this point now, I don't have the same perspective I have. have different relationships. A lot of people I know, you know, some people come and gone, but you know, if you go based on the energy principles of that, it's just like, you know, they were, they don't like the energy I give off and I don't like the energy they give off and it's fine. You know, I don't have to speak ill these people. I just, okay, we just weren't meant to be together. Okay. They just weren't meant to be a part of my life. You know, when I tell people, said, you know, when I talk about religion, I just tell them like, listen, do you know, do you have faith? said, okay. So then just trust that he's, he's taking on a path. You know, it may not make sense where you're going because I didn't know where the show was going. I just kept doing it and I kept going. And every time I got into more interesting conversations, I started locking new, new things that I didn't realize about myself. And I started learning more about myself as I go. And it started making more sense, you know, to where I'm now it's like, ⁓ like I said, my partner now I deal with me and her, we, has a very complex past, but the fact that I'm so just understanding about things, it just works so well. Like hand in hand, we just go really well together because like, you know, she, she just can't seem to understand. Like, there's something she can't understand is why I'm so just mellow. Like, well, I've been through a lot. Like if you watch where I've been to where I'm now, like all these changes I've done are for the better, like, you know, accepting faith and then all these other things I've started learning along the way and these different techniques I apply to my life now, even the way I approach her because She has a condition called BPD, you know? So like, I have to now look at how I do things, like, you how I talk to people, I say things like, now I'm applying it to my everyday life. And it's interesting because now the responses you're getting are different from people. And, know, I talk more about faith with people and things like that, where before I wouldn't because it was like, you know, to me, it was such a bad taste, because the way it was presented, but like, we were talking about, you know, it doesn't have to be like that. It's... ⁓ Dr. Laurette Willis: Thank you. Pete: You know, you're having your relationship. It's like you can talk to him every day, anywhere you want to. It's the great thing about it. You can do it however you like and things like that, you know, and it's it's it's been great doing the show. Like I said, I love doing it and I'm still fully booked. And so, God, I don't know, May now. And what is it that would just people just want to talk to me about these things. And it's great. I love doing it. So with that being said, I'm sorry. Yeah, go ahead. Dr. Laurette Willis: Yes. That's know, Pete, if I could just jump in here because there's something behind you. There's something behind you that speaks perfectly about what we're talking about. You have on the wall this little kitty cat that is just in this delightful surrender mode right there. And that's what we're talking about. It's just kind of like, all right, just let go, let God, you know? And that's what it is. Yeah. Pete: Yeah, exactly. It's just like, you know, I stopped resisting and just gave in and just said, you know, what more do I have to lose at this point? just, you know, took the proverbial leap of faith, as everybody else says, I just accepted faith. You all could leap all you want, but I didn't have to kind of thing. You know what I mean? So, but Dr. Lawrence, we're at that point in the show where we're to ask that fun question. And I know you already know this one is coming. So if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? Dr. Laurette Willis: you If my what had a song, pardon? ⁓ Pete: If your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? Dr. Laurette Willis: I want to be happy, but I won't be happy till I make you happy too. Life's only worth living when you are mirth giving. So let me give some to you. When skies are gray and you're feeling blue. And then I'd go on and do a little tap dance, I guess. But it's like, I always want people to be happy, not make them happy, but see them happy. Pete: Hahaha! Yeah, exactly. Dr. Laurette Willis: you know, to serve. And the word entertainment actually comes from a Latin word that means to serve. And that's what I always wanted to do. But until I came to faith, as you say, I didn't really have to serve, you know, to serve others. The applause was never enough. And it was like, okay, what's missing? ⁓ Pete: Yeah, exactly. Dr. Laurette Willis: But when you have that fullness and that peace and that joy and that love on the inside and be that vessel of honor, that love can flow through because God is love. 1 John 4 talks about that, that love comes and you just feel so fulfilled and you want to see people blessed and happy. Pete: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Definitely. Well, Dr. Leret, I also have one more question for you. And the reason I start this whole podcast is that if you could break the stigma about mental health, now anything that you know to this point that you feel like people just keep telling you that you want them to stop believing, what would you say that would be? Dr. Laurette Willis: Taking ownership of a condition, say, saying my disease, my something. ⁓ taking ownership ⁓ when we see that, okay, is this a gift from God? If it's not, then I wouldn't call it mine. ⁓ objectify I would separate myself from it. It's just like when I had fear. I was ruled and riddled by fear most of my life. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: And if I had calling it, my fear, the fear that I have, and taking of it and I'm not letting go, even though that's in my head, I don't want that. our brain, if you to this, your brain responds to, like every cell in your body, it's been proven in neuroscience, every cell in your body responds to your voice and believes more what you say, you believe more what you say than what anyone else says. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: So if you say, can't do it, or I can't get over this, or this is, you know, it's going, okay, making sure, yeah, okay, we can't get over it. Yeah, it's your fear. Yeah, you got it. Okay, ⁓ it. know, instead okay, I'm gonna separate myself from this. ⁓ And a believer, as a Christian, I look in scripture to renew my mind. ⁓ And 12 two says, don't be conformed to this world like this ⁓ water conformed to the shape of this glass, ⁓ but transformed. Your whole life can be transformed by renewing your mind on the Word of God so that you can prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. what promised to you. Faith begins where the will of God is known. Don't label what is not a gift from God as your own. Objectify yourself, put yourself away from it. You can look at it, okay, ⁓ healed of that, I'm taking steps, you know, I'm healed of that. ⁓ Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: I'm taking steps, I'm doing different things. know, here's, okay, here's a good one. At the first miracle of Jesus, the wedding feast of Cana, his mother Mary said to the, you know, where you turn the water into wine, right? That was like, whoa, right? At the wedding feast, he wanted people to be happy, right? Isn't that beautiful? And turning the water into wine. And so Mary said to the servants, whatever he says to you, do it. Pete: Mm-hmm. Dr. Laurette Willis: So that's what I would say to believe God for healing and then whatever he says to you, do it. Maybe it's, you you start watching this great podcast, you know, with Pete versus anxiety. Maybe you reach out to us at praisemoves.com. Maybe you start drinking more water. You start doing things that are healthier for you and you will see bit by bit that thing that you had labeled as yours starts separating itself more and more because you are seeing yourself as healthier whole. We like saying healthy fit. and free. Pete: Mm-hmm. I love it. I love it actually. So thank you so much, Dr. Light, for coming to be on the show. I appreciate you coming and hanging out with us. And thanks, Jay, for sending her over. I actually had a great time with you. I think it was great. I enjoyed having you here. Before we start signing off, did you want to let everybody know where they can find you? Of course, we want to know where they can come find you and check out all the great stuff that you offer. So let them know where it's the best place to get you. Dr. Laurette Willis: Yes, absolutely. Thank you, Pete. I would say praisemoves.com. Praisemoves.com is our number one site. We've been online since, believe it or not, December 2002. So we've got a lot of stuff going on there. And then for believers who are watching, if you want to learn about how can you lose weight without dieting, I want to know about that. I have a free kit for you. It's called christianweightlosskit.com. Or if you're like, how do you meditate on the word of God? What is it? It's not emptying the mind? What do you mean filling the mind? What is that about renewing the mind? What is that thing about? Free kit as well. Christianmeditationkit.com shows you how to meditate on the word of God in three simple steps. It'll change your life. Pete: I love it. Thank you so much guys. Go check out the website. See if you have any other questions, reach out and let her know. She'll definitely be able to help you. And thank you once again for coming to be a guest on the show. I appreciate you being here today. It was a pleasure having you. And if you ever need anything new come up, definitely let me know. Cause I'd love to have you come back and have another great conversation with you. Dr. Laurette Willis: Oh, thank you so much, Pete. And this was a blessed blast. I had a great time. Pete: With that being said guys we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete first anxiety on Pete first anxiety You can find me on Spotify all the way down to Pandora radio I'm on X all the way down to tik tok and as always say it costs nothing absolutely not to be kind to somebody one kind act you could do could save someone's life or hell you can make their day I'm Pete first anxiety signing off saying don't ask how your day is today say hey, how's your mental health?