Latest / Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast / From the Club to Christ-Centered Love: The Faith-Fueled Journey of a Modern Couple

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From the Club to Christ-Centered Love: The Faith-Fueled Journey of a Modern Couple · Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast

0:15
Somebody just drop a whole bomb. But you got to need a machine.
0:18
Go peer, peer, peer. I'm APK so my father's a
0:21
minister. Sir, I never.
0:24
I never knew this. Yeah.
0:26
Yeah. And then no wonder why when you
0:28
were getting driven back, but that wasn't your father driving
0:30
you back to the airport. That.
0:32
Said Tim was. Like a workout.
0:33
OK, yeah, I'm I'm APK so. This this platform always
0:40
attract the PKS. I don't know what's happening.
0:43
Like there's so many that I'm like, if I find out in this
0:46
moment, with the exception of like Edwin, who I knew right
0:49
obviously was a big game and I'm like.
0:51
Why are you a big game? Your granddaddy a big.
0:55
Game like yeah. Yeah, but I'm just going back to
0:57
that surrender. But I remember something my dad
0:59
used to always, you know, say, you know, used to always say
1:02
read proverbs every every day, every month, you know, every
1:05
day. Just take a proverb and read it
1:07
because you need to be wise for when tough times.
1:10
Come, that's rich. Yeah, it was it, it is.
1:14
But you really have to surrender.
1:16
And then in that letting go, you gain so much freedom.
1:20
You know, there is freedom in Christ is so it's it's not it's
1:24
not the stuffiness, the legalistic, I can't do things.
1:29
It's it's the opposite. I mean, we have fun, we travel.
1:33
I don't think you can imagine what it's going to be until
1:35
you're there. Oh, I can't wait.
1:38
Yeah, and it's because I used to have this mindset, all the
1:41
things I couldn't do, oh, I'm not going to be able to do this.
1:44
I'm can't go. It isn't.
1:46
None of that is. But that's what the world wants
1:50
you to believe. That's what the enemy wants you
1:52
to believe because the enemy knows what God has put in you,
1:56
what God has put in us. And his job is to kill, steal
1:59
and destroy and to keep you from reaching your God filled
2:05
potential. And until you let go and realize
2:09
that you're not in control until you put God first, that putting
2:12
God first is surrendering your will to his will.
2:14
Putting God first means come, you know, hell or hot water, I'm
2:19
going to trust you when I don't know how situations don't work
2:23
out in the natural. I trust that you already release
2:27
the answer in the spiritual. It's going to manifest itself in
2:32
earth as it has our better been released in heaven.
2:35
That's a walk, it's a journey, but you have to start.
2:39
It's his timing, but. You have to start though.
2:41
That's the that's the problem where the challenge for me was I
2:44
working on my testimony. To me, that meant one day, this
2:47
future state, I'm going to just magically decide and I'm just
2:51
going to start, you know, falling in line.
2:53
And no, that's why I said it was like I was the I always say I
2:57
was, I was the prodigal son because, you know, I'm like,
3:00
Nah, give me my hair. It is now I'm about to go out.
3:02
I'm going to kick it. I'm going to do all these other
3:03
things. And then, you know, I found
3:05
myself, you know, you know, in tattered clothes eating, you
3:09
know, from the pig slop. It was like, hold up.
3:12
I'm the troll. This ain't it.
3:14
Like this ain't it, This, this ain't, this is not it.
3:16
Let me, even my father's servants, the Eve Dunning and
3:20
me, let me turn around and go back home.
3:22
Listen, that was y'all heard it from the Cyber Deacon right
3:24
there. That was a whole word, a whole
3:26
word. So I love that.
3:29
And the last thing I would say to to the brothers, we have been
3:33
empowered to lead and that's not authoritative leadership, that
3:37
is a leadership of submission to God.
3:42
Say more. You can't leave if you aren't
3:45
being LED. I'm going to say that again.
3:47
You can't leave if you aren't being led.
3:50
And that's being led by and savior.
3:54
So that that's that's it. You, you got to surrender.
3:57
Wow, That's a tall order for a lot of people because as you're
4:00
saying it, it doesn't make sense.
4:03
But if you know the word, it makes sense, right?
4:06
And that is not it's it's there's so much is beyond our
4:10
understanding. His ways are not our ways, but
4:12
he's like try me and seek. Yep, Yep.
4:15
Mess around and find out about the goodness of God.
4:18
It's here. He's waiting for you.
4:20
Yeah. That's right.
4:22
It didn't make sense for God to leave heaven and to come walk
4:25
among us for 33 years, to watch the feet of his disciples, to
4:28
die a sinner's death. But he did didn't make.
4:32
Sense. None of it.
4:34
None of it. This is so good.
4:36
So there was a story, Ayanna, when you were on before with the
4:40
episode and you were saying Terrence needs to tell the story
4:44
the first time. One of the times he looked over
4:46
and you saw her writing her. Check back when people still
4:49
wrote checks because we know the Cyber Deacon will tell you do
4:52
not write a check. It's funny that you remember
4:55
that I forgot about. That I did not.
4:57
I've been waiting on this day. I told y'all I was like, y'all
4:59
got to come on he. Got He got to tell the story.
5:02
It's his story to tell. So just a little back, I'll
5:05
rewind a little bit from Ayana's episode.
5:08
I think it was one of your, this was your closing to the
5:11
signature question. If you want to see a real change
5:15
in your life. You said give, but you went on
5:17
to talk about how Terrence saw you giving and he was like, so
5:22
by all means, here, tell us a story.
5:24
So it was, you know, at church and it was giving time, you
5:29
know, collection time. And I'm sitting next to her and,
5:32
you know, she's right now check, You know, I'm not trying to, you
5:36
know, be all up in her mix over there.
5:37
I was like, and I was like, she must be like, what's this like,
5:42
you know, for the whole month or like, like, what is this, this
5:46
She's writing check. You know, I got my $20 bill, but
5:48
I'm about to ask for change. She's like, I get some change.
5:51
Somebody bring me some change. So this was before we were
5:55
married, right? And I'm sitting there, I'm just
5:59
like, oh, OK. And I was trying.
6:02
I was wrestling with that like, and she was no, God loves the
6:06
cheerful gifts. She was cheerfully writing out
6:08
that check and put it in there. And I'm just like, and I, I
6:11
didn't tell her about this. This was later, but that left
6:13
such an impression on me. You know, I didn't ask for
6:16
change for my $20 bill. But again, it was just God
6:20
speaking to me in these little moments where that these
6:25
teachable moments. And I'm just like, OK, got it.
6:30
And just looking at, you know, her life and that ain't she had
6:34
a house, she's taking trips, she was traveling and she was
6:38
writing nice checks. I'm just like OK, so.
6:44
Barista, that part. I think a little bit later when
6:48
she actually, I don't remember. But I like, I guess it somehow
6:51
just came out. They're like, Oh yeah, I'm in
6:53
human resources. And again, he had my car but he
6:56
didn't really pay attention to. My girl, that car was gone once
6:59
your number was in that phone, it was in a drawer somewhere and
7:03
never to be seen until he moved. You know, I think it was one of
7:06
the times though, because when we would be hanging out, because
7:10
it would be, you know, she and I did sometimes it would be some
7:14
of my, my friends and, you know, their dates and stuff.
7:16
So we'd be close to a Starbucks. And I remember this one time we
7:19
actually went into a Starbucks and she knew like everybody that
7:25
was in there and they were just like, oh, you know, blah, blah,
7:28
blah, blah. She got us all drinks and stuff
7:30
for free. And then she was like. 11 count
7:32
it wasn't free. Discount free.
7:35
But then she was like, get my mark out and coffee and I was
7:38
just like, are you a manager or I mean, it's just.
7:44
And then I think that was when she kind of was like what she
7:46
actually did. And I was like telling.
7:48
All his friends. OK, so.
7:52
Nothing wrong with baristas. And that's how she got the
7:54
nickname Starbucks, because we all out and they'd be like, oh
7:56
man, we going to Starbucks. We had the plug.
7:58
It was the plug. The plug now, right?
8:01
Oh my goodness, they loved when you were around.
8:04
Like yes. Starbucks I wouldn't even
8:06
drinking coffee like that man I. Didn't even know.
8:08
That's when they that listen that my first Starbucks drink
8:13
and they need to bring this back.
8:14
The chocolate brownie frappuccino.
8:17
It actually had the brownie Shamika put me on the deck
8:20
because I was like, I don't do coffee.
8:23
That thing changed my life. Like just give me a spoon.
8:26
I didn't even eat a straw for it.
8:27
Like yes, I still remember. I think it's gone.
8:33
They need to bring it back. Who do I need to talk to?
8:37
Anymore. I know, but I know you know,
8:39
people too talk to Tara Tyra, work at Starbucks.
8:42
Why am I tripping? But OK, so that's an example of
8:47
like character and things like that.
8:49
So what were some of those values, characters and vision
8:52
that showed up early in your relationship that were also like
8:55
green flags to keep going? Green flags to keep going again.
8:59
The kindness, the sense of humor.
9:01
He always made me laugh. Always have my best interests at
9:04
heart. You know, quintessential.
9:06
Let me open the door, you know, it's raining.
9:08
Let me get the umbrella. So the kind of like the basic
9:11
things like that. But just, you know, when you
9:12
talk to somebody all the time, you know, you, you hear what
9:15
comes across, you hear their morals, you hear their values,
9:19
you hear, you know, what they appreciate, you hear what they
9:21
like, what they dislike. And you know, you can tell when
9:25
those things align right. And so there was never anything
9:29
that he said that I was like, that's awful.
9:32
Or, and, and even that long ago, because of course, now that
9:37
we're older, like 20 years later, it's really easy in this
9:41
level of maturity and experience to look back and be more
9:46
discerning, right? But the level of discernment
9:49
that we have now was much, much different back then.
9:52
And so even back then, not having that level of
9:55
discernment, it was still easy. It was still like, OK, he's not
10:00
crazy or he's he's not disrespectful to women.
10:03
He doesn't cuss out the waiter if something's wrong with his
10:06
food. You know, things like that.
10:08
That old adage of when people show you who they are, believe
10:12
them. That is so true.
10:13
That is so true. And I think as women, we're
10:16
dating, especially when we're younger, I've just seen a lot of
10:19
times, and I'm guilty of this too, right?
10:21
So no way am I judging. We put up with a lot of stuff.
10:24
We put up with a lot of rudeness.
10:27
We put up with disrespect. We put up with the little side
10:30
jokes and the little cracks. And I will give it to the women
10:33
of today. I guess they're probably like
10:35
Jazzy Danny now. Don't say.
10:38
That cutting. You guys off at the knees,
10:40
heartbeat. Block thing on block.
10:43
Exactly. And it might seem harsh, but as
10:46
a older woman now, looking back from when I was dating, I was
10:51
scared to do that. I was scared to say something,
10:54
right. I don't want to mess this thing
10:57
up. He's cool.
10:58
Oh, he cracked that little joke. They don't do.
11:00
The girls don't do that anymore. And I'm really, really glad that
11:03
they don't. That's a separate pod episode
11:05
right there. Exactly.
11:07
It is. It is.
11:08
I'm really glad they don't. And so I was fortunate that when
11:11
we were dating there were a bunch of green flags because
11:14
green flag, red flag wasn't even a thing when we were dating.
11:17
We didn't that terminology, right?
11:19
It was there, it just wasn't. Called that and so I'm also
11:23
there was a higher tolerance for red flags.
11:26
There was a much higher tolerance.
11:28
There was a higher tolerance. That's a really good way to
11:30
frame that. And so, you know, I just think
11:33
my relationship with God at that time, you know, what God was
11:37
doing with him and working on him, it just really aligned and
11:41
those red flags weren't there like that.
11:44
I was able to really see his true character.
11:46
We spent a lot of time getting to know each other.
11:48
We spent premarital counseling, talking about everything.
11:52
And I would just say, you know, it, it's out there, it's out
11:55
there for everybody. We are not special.
11:57
We are not unicorns. We're not just little brown girl
12:00
from Detroit. Like it's we're just us, you
12:03
know, And so it's capable and potential and can happen for
12:07
anyone. I do believe that.
12:08
I hear you like you're not unicorns, but it requires
12:12
obedience, absolutely. And that's what I hear clearly
12:16
in both of your stories, the obedience that was there and
12:20
listening to God and following through on it.
12:23
Yeah, absolutely. And I think what comes out of
12:26
that, too, in that obedience is you're able to be your true
12:29
self. I'm paying for drinks out of
12:31
kindness. I'm being a friend to you during
12:33
this difficult time. You know, I'm going to church
12:36
because I want to and not trying to drag you along or impress
12:40
you. You know, I'm tithing because I
12:41
know it's the right. I was just me.
12:44
Yeah, that's beautiful, I think. I think women nowadays are in a
12:49
much better space than 20 years ago when I was dating.
12:53
Dating where we can be ourselves and have the confidence to know
12:57
God is going to give us who we're supposed to have.
13:00
God is going to put the people in our path that are supposed to
13:03
be in our lives. Be it in a relationship, be it a
13:06
friendship. Be of a reason to seize in our
13:08
lifetime. Get comfortable in who you are.
13:11
Be who you are. Be kind, be outgoing, going, be
13:14
a nerd, be, you know, if you love to dance, like just be you.
13:19
Because I was just me. And even despite his whole
13:22
situation, we were still together.
13:25
We still ended up together, right?
13:27
And I never sacrificed my obedience to be with him.
13:32
I never stopped going on Wednesday night to Bible study
13:35
so I could go hang out with him on Wednesday night, right?
13:39
Own who you are. Draw a hard line in the sand.
13:42
Don't be afraid to do that, because that is, those are your
13:46
boundaries, and if you give up something simple, you'll give up
13:49
something major in the future. Yeah, yeah.
13:51
That's, that's all. That's such so many Nuggets in
13:54
there really and truly. And what I also love about this
13:58
story is that you were able to be you and it was a safe space
14:01
to be you because there would have been other men who maybe
14:06
would have tried to take advantage of the fact that you
14:09
were kind. You would pay, you were generous
14:11
with your time, you were supportive and just would have
14:14
been stringing you along how for however long, right exactly.
14:19
And then get on their feet, you know, be on their way.
14:23
So I love Terrence, that you were a stand up guy even though
14:27
you were in transition. But one of the things I, you
14:34
know, piggybacking on what she just said, I could be Terrence
14:38
with her and that was different. I didn't have to be big T and it
14:44
is we, we say that, but we, you know, we probably say, you know,
14:48
cold switching nowadays. But you know, I guess we were
14:50
club switching back then, but we had these personas, you know, I,
14:55
you know, I'll put it on me. You know, I, my club persona was
14:58
different than my corporate persona and then my maybe social
15:02
persona. So yeah, I was big T, you know,
15:05
when I was out in the clubs party and hanging now, you know,
15:08
we got tables and sections doing all these things.
15:10
I was big T She didn't care about it.
15:12
She didn't care about none of that.
15:14
She didn't care about Big T. She didn't care about you sexing
15:18
something else. He invested in who Terrence was.
15:22
She wanted to know Terrence and it goes back to, you know, some
15:26
of the relationships that I was in prior to her.
15:30
They honestly didn't really care about Terrence as the person
15:33
they cared about Big T and well, you know, this promoter, can you
15:36
get me in here or you got season tickets to this, Let me hang out
15:40
with you or do this. So and it was almost, you know,
15:43
that the quid pro quo, you know this for that.
15:46
So, you know, I look good on your arm if you get me.
15:49
So he actually cared about who I was as a person.
15:53
So, and this didn't come up. So he was enamored over the fact
15:59
that I was infatuated, the fact that he actually owned slacks.
16:02
So it's a story behind that, yes, slacks, pants, slacks.
16:06
So we went out, she came I think to my house one day afterward
16:11
and she had on slacks. And I was like, you own like
16:14
slacks like. Pants.
16:17
Who were you dating before? What did their closets look
16:22
like? That's what I.
16:24
There were no slacks. Clearly.
16:26
No, there were no slacks. There were no slacks.
16:28
He's been an advert with my slacks.
16:31
And there was, it was, it was weird, but it was just like, I
16:34
was like, wow, you, you actually like, OK.
16:38
Like I used to fight in the boot.
16:41
So I know it sounds weird now, but.
16:44
Yeah, it works for y'all. It works for y'all.
16:47
I mean, I had a similar moment when I was first first come came
16:51
out here. It was still dream.
16:53
It wasn't love yet. And I was like the man got on
16:56
suits and hot bottom shoes. Yes, like yes, yes.
17:02
So I I I can relate to a select, Yes I get it OK, still like a
17:08
man in a good seat. There you go.
17:10
Sorry, we we went, we went off task, but if y'all know anybody
17:13
you know what I'm saying and. Have food on that.
17:17
Were you going to say something else?
17:18
Stairs. No, that was.
17:19
That was the slice. Okay, this is so good, right?
17:24
And this sounds, this could be like more of a closing question,
17:28
but it's not because I feel like I'm experiencing it.
17:31
I'm feeling it. If you had to like, name or
17:33
describe the secret sauce for y'alls marriage, like what would
17:37
it be? Or how I would say, yeah, I
17:41
would say that the secret sauce is that we really choose to love
17:47
one another every day. And I don't mean in a
17:50
superficial, oh, I love you. Oh, I love you, too.
17:52
Like we do that. But it's choosing every day to
17:57
be accountable. You know, even when we argue,
18:00
even we fight. It's not cruel.
18:02
It's not calling each other out of names, you know, a
18:06
disagreement, but we know we're going to come back together.
18:08
It's just choosing every day to do the right thing in this
18:13
relationship. It's choosing every single time
18:17
to be accountable, to show up, to be present, you know, to just
18:24
love. You know when first Corinthians
18:26
13 talks about love keeps no record of wrongs.
18:29
Love is patient. Love is like that's exactly what
18:33
it is, but it's a choice, right? It's a it's it's the choice to
18:37
show up every day for each other.
18:41
It's the choice to get up every morning and make sure if he and
18:45
Ava, our daughter, have to get, you know, she goes to school
18:47
every day. It's a choice for me to get up
18:48
and make sure they got food. It's a choice to make sure that
18:51
I go out and, you know, do the best I can for my family.
18:56
It's just a choice. And I think that's really the
18:59
secret sauce. Like it seems like that should
19:01
be obvious, but we all know examples and have examples of
19:06
people who aren't accountable to one another, people who don't
19:09
argue right, people who, you know, just choose not to be
19:14
there, like get into arguments. And there you wake up in the
19:17
morning, one of them is out the house for six hours.
19:20
You know, it's, it's choosing to love one another.
19:24
It's a choice. Yeah, that's good.
19:26
That's good. Y'all better listen.
19:27
I hope y'all got y'all pens and paper.
19:28
Hit rewind if you need to because that was good for real.
19:34
I would say it's really all of that, but really making sure God
19:39
remains the center of our relationship and putting Him
19:42
first. And as you know, we talked about
19:45
the headship. It's always making sure I'm
19:49
doing what God wants me to do by taking care of my family.
19:53
That means I'm not first. I'm last.
19:57
My wife, my daughter come before me.
19:59
God is our head. And then it's them, then it's
20:02
it's me. My God-given mandate is to
20:05
protect, love and provide for my family.
20:09
So that means, you know, getting up, yeah, getting up, going to
20:11
work, jumping on these planes to make sure my family has what
20:15
they need, not sacrificing the time that I spend with them in
20:19
pursuit of, you know, material things.
20:23
But God has called us to be the head and not the tail, the
20:26
lender and not the borrower. So it's really understanding my
20:30
God-given position in his Kingdom, but also in our
20:34
household, and that's making sure that they're protected.
20:37
I am their protector. I, you know, I pray over my
20:40
daughter. We pray over our daughter every
20:42
morning before she leaves. You know, we get on planes, we
20:44
pray, but taking care of my, my mother's in law.
20:49
And it's we the team aspect. We really, we jump about it, but
20:54
we really embrace that even, you know, my son who's in, in
20:58
California, we're still a team, we're still a unit.
21:02
And my job is to make sure the unit has what they need
21:06
spiritually, physically, mentally.
21:09
And yeah, that's that's what gets me up in the morning, to
21:12
make sure that I can serve them in a manner that pleases God
21:17
because God has entrusted them to me.
21:20
Come on, what you better cherish your family like and you're
21:26
living it, you're modeling it and you offer that perspective
21:30
that is like a really God centric, Christ centric and not
21:36
like patriarchal, right? And, and, and I I love that so
21:42
much. And you are really given giving
21:47
a clear definition on like what it really does mean to like lead
21:52
and what that is. And I hope fellas that y'all
21:55
were listening and run that back, right?
21:58
And even what you're describing, I think there's, you know, the
22:01
good example like Ruth and Boaz. What I love about Boaz is that
22:06
he was providing for her before there he even knew her name.
22:11
He was already exhibiting the generosity.
22:14
He cared about her reputation and virtue and wanted to
22:19
preserve that, and he took the proper steps.
22:22
And even when there was a moment where he could have took
22:24
advantage and nobody knew, he still did the right.
22:30
Thing right? Yes.
22:32
And so, like, I love it. And I think a lot of people get
22:36
swept up and just like, oh, what he did.
22:37
No, we need to look at this man's character.
22:40
And that's what I'm. Hearing from you bro is
22:42
character yeah, it's a big part pooch pooch.
22:47
And it's one of those things I don't think people appreciate it
22:49
the way that they they should or yeah, I appreciate you a whole
22:55
lot more like learning. Like I obviously I see this like
22:59
how you move and it's apparent, but just hearing it behind.
23:03
But what what's it's holding it up like?
23:05
You know what you see because there are some people.
23:07
It is a facade, but it's. Not yeah.
23:10
And and I can say that as well about him, like who he is, who
23:14
you see on Wednesday, Sunday at the restaurant, at the grocery
23:18
store, that's who is out. Like I would be the first to
23:21
point out particularly to him directly like why acting like
23:25
that? Why are you doing like if they
23:26
were really two different personas.
23:28
But that character is is genuine and it comes from having a
23:34
mother's prayer of humility that has brought him to where he is
23:38
today. So I I absolutely see that.
23:41
Yep, it's really you. You said you said earlier that
23:45
love is is an action word. It is.
23:47
And if we really look at, you know, Christ and his love, you
23:51
know, in the Bible that multiple words for for love, but the self
23:55
sacrifice and agape love, that was that action that was action
24:00
based. Agape love is action based.
24:03
And you know, we can say it, but the actions reinforce it.
24:09
Or am I showing her I love her? I'm just saying it's two
24:12
different things, you know, So one is surface 111 is, I mean
24:17
deep. And you know, they gonna eat
24:20
before I eat, you know, I'm going to make sure that they got
24:23
everything that they need. You know, if I have to go dig a
24:26
ditch, if I have to go like rubber, have to go drive a
24:29
school bus, I'm going to make sure my family.
24:31
Some. Chicken.
24:33
Yeah, there you go. Fry some chicken.
24:35
Go Uber. Clean a toilet, apple floor.
24:38
I'm going to make sure my family has what they need.
24:41
Yes. We need more men to like, grow
24:43
into the mindset and really, really understand that.
24:47
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it's gross and it's
24:50
modelling. So it's a we need more mentors
24:54
that are modelling that, but we also need more men that want to
24:58
be mentored so. That's also required.
25:02
Too. That's a choice.
25:03
That requires humility. Yep.
25:05
Yeah, it does. Yeah, yeah.
25:09
That's a good prayer, Mother. Yeah, that's a good prayer.
25:12
But like, it's simple, but like really, really and truly right.
25:16
So I think in that, like building on that, what are some
25:19
practices or mindset mindsets that you think really lended to
25:24
you? You all like the richness over
25:27
these 20 years. We'll say not just 1515 years of
25:30
marriage, but two decades. Yeah.
25:36
What lends to that? Like how do we do it?
25:39
Yeah, like what are some of those practices and mindsets
25:41
that have really sustained y'all over these two decades?
25:44
One of the things that comes to mind is, I would say consistency
25:48
and routine. That is his strength, not mine.
25:52
Figure it out. Oh yeah, like I see you with a.
25:56
Planner and the pins and a different color.
25:59
It's cute and it's fun and stickers, yes, and I love that
26:02
and I'm organized. But it's the the consistency and
26:08
the routine and what I've learned over the years from him
26:12
and from others and just, you know, listening and growing and
26:14
reading. Your success is in your routine.
26:18
I can't have a family unit and be all over the place, correct?
26:22
I know I got to be in the school parking lot at 2:30 every day.
26:26
Can't dilly dally with that. I know he's going to get up
26:30
every morning and have his prayer time.
26:33
I'm not going to be down here working out while he doing it
26:35
because I want to work out on Monday, Sunday, and then maybe
26:37
I'll work out on Tuesday and or maybe I'll come back next
26:39
Monday, right? It's that level of consistency
26:42
in a routine with a family, in a household that helps us succeed
26:48
as a married couple, as a family unit.
26:51
And I learned that from him. I've gotten much, much better
26:54
with that because of him, because he is the king of
26:59
routine and structure and organization.
27:01
And you know, it was that was an adjustment for me in certain
27:05
things, right? Yeah.
27:06
I'm gonna get up and go to work every day.
27:07
I'm gonna do my job. I'm gonna hit the project goals.
27:09
I'm gonna do all that. Like, yeah, that's a given.
27:11
But in other areas, it was more loosey goosey.
27:15
Will you marry when you're accountable to somebody?
27:17
You can't be Lucy goosey or you going to have, right?
27:20
I could have chosen not to say loosey goosey.
27:23
I could have chosen, you know, that's just how I am.
27:26
That's just the way I was raised.
27:27
That's just how my Mama did it. That's just how I do.
27:30
I could have stayed in that mindset.
27:32
Guess what? We might not be sitting here
27:33
right now if I did. And that would have been on me.
27:36
I love that you both chose to rise at the different times.
27:40
And yeah, your marriage and relationship where it like it
27:44
was appropriate. Yeah.
27:45
And you died a dying to self. Yeah.
27:48
You have to die to self daily, daily.
27:51
It's a daily thing where you're like, OK, I don't want to do
27:54
that. But even Brother McClure talks
27:56
about, you know, it's not about how you feel.
27:59
You can't just operate and do things based on how you feel at
28:03
that moment because how you feel one day about God could be
28:06
different than next. And he doesn't like that
28:08
lukewarm inconsistency. The Bible tells us that.
28:12
And so if I'm not going to be loosey goosey and lukewarm with
28:16
the Lord, I owe it to my family to have that level of
28:20
consistency and, you know, dedication and organization as
28:24
well. And again, I had to grow into
28:26
that. That's not something I came to
28:28
this marriage with. I got it all organizing together
28:31
and I know how to do this this. No, I had to grow into that.
28:34
And you have to be humble enough and open enough to, you know,
28:38
have that level of growth. So that's, I would say it's one
28:41
of the things that makes us work and kind of that secret sauce
28:44
and keeps us together is that, you know, having that structure
28:48
and that routine and being accountable to that.
28:52
I love that. Thank you.
28:53
It was, and you got a Good Wife. I do.
28:58
I do. I found a good one.
29:00
Yes. I think it it is is you know,
29:05
y'all going to say this is a Bible study.
29:06
But if you really understand the responsibility as a man that God
29:13
has given you in marriage to the point where he basically, you
29:18
know, says, you know, love your wife as Christ loved the church
29:22
and sacrificed himself for her. Come on that type of once you
29:26
understand that type of responsibility and sacrifice,
29:29
your actions should be different.
29:32
You should move different once you really understand that that
29:35
you are the priest of your household, that you cover your
29:40
household from a spiritual perspective perspective.
29:43
So it shouldn't be her job to cover us spiritually.
29:47
Now my wife, she's a praying wife, don't get me wrong.
29:50
What you call her a Bible thumper?
29:52
Bible thumper. So Bible thumper.
29:55
My Mama called me that too. But but to me, well, you know
29:58
better, you do better, right? So, I mean, even as an example,
30:01
we sitting here right now and I'm not promoting that anybody
30:03
go buy books, but I have three prayer books sitting on my desk.
30:09
Yeah. Are the power of praying parent,
30:11
power of praying husband. So prayer is.
30:14
What? Really.
30:15
Every single day prayer is I'm anchored in prayer.
30:20
That's how I have to start my day is having that personal time
30:24
with the Lord that anchors me for the rest of the day because
30:28
you just don't know. I mean, the world we live in
30:30
today is is wild. So and you know, we don't know
30:34
what's going to happen, but I take it to the Lord and I leave
30:38
it there. But for me to have confidence
30:40
that my prayers make it out the roof, I got to have a
30:42
relationship. You know, we can't do no iffy
30:45
prayers, no well, what if maybe Lord, if you listening can't do
30:48
that. So I I have to make sure I'm in
30:51
position in alignment with God. So as long as if got this
30:57
vertical relationship going right, then the horizontal has
31:01
to be right, right? Which makes the cross.
31:03
Come on. He's always in it.
31:08
He's always in it, like God has left so many clues to just show
31:14
that he's he's. He's always with us and I love
31:16
that. Yeah.
31:19
Yeah, no, even though you all generally have had it easy, it
31:24
seems like internally, right? But how have you protected your
31:28
marriage during stressful seasons, right?
31:30
Like there's a lot of things that can happen externally and
31:33
come into the home. How have you been able to just
31:36
purify and protect the atmosphere?
31:38
Of the home, trying to think of a time stressful, I think
31:42
sometimes the career stuff. OK.
31:45
It can be stressful the, you know, the unknowing, the
31:49
uncertainty that especially for him as a man and being the
31:54
provider like that can weigh heavily on him.
31:57
So I think in times like that, you know, we've gotten a lot
32:01
better. I think when we were younger it
32:03
was much more panicky, you know, OK, I've been.
32:07
I've been. Laid off.
32:10
Oh yeah, I got laid off when I was six months pregnant.
32:13
Yeah, stress. I think, yeah.
32:16
So I think like when, as I think through those things, I think
32:19
when we were younger, we were more panicky, like we were in
32:23
the church. But it's still that uncertainty
32:25
that I know we got bills to pay more, more, more.
32:27
Where it's like now we like, it's gonna be all right.
32:31
We can't control it. God.
32:32
God, it's like just our spiritual growth over the last
32:36
40 years has us in a much better place to deal with the external
32:41
stressors of the world. Like everything going on right
32:44
now, like it is absolutely banana sandwiches in the world
32:48
in January 2020. Sixth, I don't feel like that's
32:52
in our home. We don't bring that stress into
32:55
our home. We watch the news, we pay
32:57
attention. You know, it's not head in the
32:58
sand obliviousness, but you know, I think we've grown so
33:03
much together spiritually that we know who's ultimately in
33:07
control. And so even in our younger days
33:10
when we had those stressors, you know, we never let it come
33:15
between Team Jackson. We do.
33:16
We were always a team. We knew we were always in it
33:19
together. Like if somebody was losing a
33:21
job, Yep, somebody going to be Uber in or cleaning the bathroom
33:24
or being a secretary or something.
33:26
Like we always knew that whatever stressors came up, we
33:30
would be together. We would have each other's back.
33:33
And so just sorry, just that a spiritual growth has really
33:36
helped us to get through that, whatever it may be.
33:39
Yeah, it sounds like AI hear the partnership in there and that's
33:43
so yeah. And what's I know one of y'all
33:46
know that Scripture 2 can't walk together unless they agree like
33:49
how it go. They be agreed.
33:59
Yeah, yeah. OK.
34:00
Yeah. You're trying to think of like
34:02
the King James Version. I know, but that's how you know,
34:05
That's what I grew up on. If ain't King James, it'd be
34:09
feeling weird. I was like am I missing a word?
34:13
Yeah, King James will have you feeling like that.
34:15
But you know, I got a plaque on my desk right now that's been
34:20
here. But it really boils down to
34:22
this, trusting the Lord with all your heart and do not depend on
34:25
your own understanding, but see His will and all you do and He
34:29
will show you which path to take and as a part of our spiritual
34:33
growth and maturity of us being born and yoked together.
34:37
Come on, yoke. God has God has never failed us.
34:40
He has never left us. He has never forsaken us.
34:43
We have a catalog of past victories that call upon.
34:47
So when the next challenge comes, he was like, if he did
34:50
it, you know, sounded like a tight tribute right now.
34:54
If he did it before, he could do with it because he was the same
34:58
guy. It's the same guy so there's no
35:01
reason to be no Bible says be anxious for nothing but in all
35:04
things by prayer and supplication.
35:05
Make your requests not on the God and his peace, his peace
35:09
which surpasses all understanding regards your
35:12
hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
35:14
Once you know Christianity is an experiential thing.
35:17
You have to experience it so and the more you experience it you
35:22
the more anchored in it you should be, because God is a good
35:26
God, he said. He said try me, test me, I mean.
35:31
He said I'm standing on business like that's it, right?
35:34
Yeah, pretty much. Standing on business, y'all
35:37
better understand. But again, like you said, it's
35:39
experiential. Absolutely yeah.
35:41
And. You know, just to kind of close
35:44
out with that question, like I don't want people to walk away,
35:46
say, oh, they don't have no problems.
35:47
They good because they believe in God.
35:49
It's not that, you know, we absolutely have our problems.
35:51
We've absolutely had our struggles.
35:53
We've had housing challenges, car challenges, children
35:56
challenges, like the things everybody goes through.
35:59
But I think what he's saying is just it's like having that
36:02
relationship with God is the ultimate answer to getting
36:06
through it. And it, it takes time, right?
36:09
Didn't talk like this 20 years ago.
36:11
We didn't quote scripture like this 20 years ago.
36:14
And so it's, it's that growth that you got to have and to, you
36:18
know, be able to do it together, I think is what makes it a lot
36:21
easier. Yeah, that's the togetherness
36:23
and never, never letting that division come in between what
36:29
God is putting together. It's it's a journey of growth as
36:32
one. And you know, in the early days,
36:34
yeah, that's that's different because when you're used to kind
36:37
of doing you and she's kind of used to doing her.
36:39
Now, what does that two becoming one really look like?
36:43
But as long as you are going into it, I say with open heart,
36:48
open mind and being adaptable, she's never told me to do
36:52
anything crazy. I've never told her to go do
36:54
like anything crazy. And it's having that safe space
36:58
to have dialogue. You said this was going to come
37:01
up, told you was going to come up.
37:03
So once a month we do what we call a life dinner and we anchor
37:10
that in a couple of questions. But essentially it's based off
37:13
of, you know, we both go over what our accomplishments were
37:17
for that month, you know, what we could have done better and
37:23
then what we're planning to do in the next month.
37:25
And it's really just the conversation started.
37:28
So we can really have that like, how's our family doing?
37:31
It's like a health check on our marriage and our families.
37:34
And I cry every single time. Every time I cry every like.
37:38
There's different types of teachers though.
37:40
Yeah, I always have teachers because I always cry when I tell
37:42
my part. And it really is a reflection on
37:46
what, you know, where we are, what, you know, she got some new
37:51
contracts. So if I got a promotion, you
37:53
know, how how we've been blessed this month and you know, where
37:56
what were some opportunities for improvement?
37:58
You know, what were some things that we wish we had handled
38:01
better, Did better? And my favorite question is,
38:04
what did you learn about me? So what did I learn about him
38:07
over the last month? And it is always something new
38:10
and what what he learned about me.
38:11
And there's always something, oh, I didn't know that you could
38:14
do this or say that or I didn't know you were into whatever.
38:18
Like I'm still finding out about movies and stuff.
38:21
He like he just found out. I've never seen what was it
38:23
I've. Never watched 30 dance?
38:25
Never seen 30. Dance.
38:26
And I'm like, like really I. Still wouldn't ask that there's
38:31
nobody. Backs me, baby.
38:32
In the corner. That's right.
38:34
That's right. Nobody.
38:35
I get the gist, I get it, but again, still learning stuff
38:40
about each other 20 years in. So what I heard in all of that,
38:44
because like I told you, I see a movie, right?
38:46
So I'm seeing y'all at the table, you with your tissues
38:48
dabbing. You know, it's, it's a perfect
38:52
recipe for falling in love with God over and over again,
38:55
addressing your gratitude and just seeing the presence of his
38:59
life, but also falling in love with each other over and over
39:02
again. Y'all are not withholding the
39:06
observations that you're seeing. And it also, I think, bites the
39:10
opportunity for you all to just really continue to get to know
39:13
each other as each of you evolve.
39:16
Appreciate it and label it. And like, that's so intimate.
39:20
I love it. Yeah, that's why I cry every
39:22
time. Yes, that's exactly.
39:25
What? I love this.
39:26
I'm taking mental notes. Like we put it on the calendar,
39:29
it's the end of the month. That's right.
39:30
He's on the calendar. It's it's, it's intentional.
39:33
And it's real. Yep.
39:35
Yep, you have to be intentional. Yeah, let me tell y'all
39:37
something. When God allows my husband to
39:39
reveal himself, I'm going to send him over to you, Terrance.
39:42
OK, but maybe he won't need it. Maybe he won't need it.
39:46
Or we could just really hang out.
39:48
Team Jeff team. Team TBD, right?
39:51
We just call it Team TBD right now.
39:57
Love it. So what have you all learned
39:59
about repair and accountability? I'm going to go on that one
40:04
first that my wife will hold me accountable.
40:07
Well, we know she she showed you from the beginning.
40:10
She will hold me accountable. He's gotten much better at
40:15
owning up to it. What I do?
40:17
Yep. And you know, being willing to
40:19
shut feedback is a part of being accountable early on.
40:23
That's that's a rule. That's that's that's a
40:25
challenge. That's a challenge.
40:26
It was new for my brothers sister challenge.
40:28
I know it's challenge because you, we, we, we like to think we
40:31
do everything right. You know, I'm the provider.
40:34
I got this, I got that. But sometimes there are some
40:37
areas for improvements and it's not done in a slight full way or
40:44
malicious way. It's just sometimes as men,
40:48
we're not groomed to take that type of feedback.
40:50
So that that's a process of learning and growth in itself.
40:54
So now I'm at the point where sometimes, you know, I mean, I
40:57
don't really want your feedback, but then I'll circle back to do
41:00
it 2 minutes later and be like, but what do you think?
41:03
It'll be two minutes. It'll be more like an hour.
41:06
It'll be what do you think about this?
41:09
What do you think about this? Good, because I know she has my
41:12
best interest at heart. She's never going to have me out
41:15
here looking crazy. Because then you got Team
41:17
Jackson looking and I would say to that to that for me, the
41:24
reason I think I'm in a position to give him that feedback is a
41:28
couple things. But the first that came to mind
41:30
was that I have a background in human resources.
41:33
And so I already came to the table from a space where I have
41:37
to talk to people and help people do better and coach
41:41
people. And guess what I am today?
41:43
I'm an executive coach. Exactly.
41:46
So my whole, you know, I think one of my gifts is talking to
41:50
people and coaching them and helping them to be better.
41:55
And that so it, it, it really is like my career has served a
42:01
purpose and it's beneficial to our marriage now.
42:05
And my grade is taking feedback. Probably not, not all the time.
42:08
You know, what is it, Doctor, heal thyself.
42:12
You know, I got my issues too. I don't always take my own
42:15
advice. But again, that's part of the,
42:17
you know, the growth process, you know, for everybody.
42:20
But it has been a blessing. And I do acknowledge like how he
42:25
has grown in that sense and how he can take that feedback.
42:28
And even though he might invite me for 2 minutes, he's going to
42:30
come back and be like, OK, what do you think?
42:32
This was right or whatever. And even sometimes if it's
42:35
overnight, right? We had this conversation a
42:38
couple of months ago where we were saying like, yeah, I don't
42:40
know if I agree with the old adage like never go to bed bad.
42:44
Sometimes you got to go to bed, man, and sleep on it.
42:47
It has some clarity in the morning and that doesn't happen
42:50
often for us, but sometimes really a good night's sleep does
42:54
sometimes make things better. So having those conversations
42:58
when you're rested, when you're calm, when maybe had a little
43:01
cup of coffee or some water, you know, is I think a key, a way to
43:06
help things be better too. We talk about holding people
43:08
accountable and things like that.
43:10
You can't always force somebody into accountability in the
43:13
moment, because sometimes that'll work against you.
43:16
And sometimes you got to let God do that work.
43:17
And that's sometimes absolutely God do that work.
43:19
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So how have you all been able to
43:24
manage successful and demanding careers without competing,
43:28
unless you start without? Without competing.
43:31
That's a good question, and the best answer I have for that is.
43:36
It's like seasons. It's seasons, but again going
43:40
back to me putting my family in the best position to win.
43:46
What's it been, what, four or five years now?
43:48
4 You've been on your left. About two, 4526, four years.
43:54
So about we have. About 5 years ago we started
44:00
staging a plan for her to exit corporate America.
44:03
Oh, it was actually longer than that.
44:04
It was back in like 20. Abel was born in what, 2013?
44:09
It's like a 2016. We had that conversation.
44:11
So some years ago, we started having the conversation on her
44:16
exiting, you know, corporate America.
44:18
In my mind, it was like, oh, you know, we're going to retire you
44:21
from from corporate America. Yeah.
44:24
I like it, but that's a wife. That's a proper study.
44:28
One woman she got things to. Exactly.
44:30
Right. I didn't see that as competing.
44:33
I saw that as how can I help her get to the career job space that
44:41
she wanted to be. You know the commuting every
44:44
day, you know spending all the time in traffic, you know the
44:47
workplace was not the greatest. Before COVID.
44:50
The workplace wasn't the greatest, and again, I took it
44:53
upon myself to be like, all right, So what?
44:55
What do I need to do to help our family?
44:58
Put her in in the position that she can basically flourish
45:03
because I saw this inner coach coming out because she was
45:06
already doing it. But I knew she wanted to do that
45:09
full time and she wanted to be basically be on her own.
45:13
So I put I won't say stress, but you know, I put a plan together
45:17
because I'm a planner or how we I was just.
45:19
Going to figure it out. How we were going to get to be
45:23
able to achieve that. And obviously God was in the
45:25
center of that plan. So, you know, I don't know if
45:29
it's it's competing careers or is complimentary.
45:34
You know, she empowers me to do my best work.
45:36
I empower her to do her best work and it just works out.
45:40
You know, I'm her best client. I always say I'm, I'm, I'm her
45:43
star pupil from a coaching perspective, but it, it just
45:46
works out. She's in a much better space now
45:48
that she gets to set her own schedule.
45:49
She gets to, you know, be the, you know, the, the wife, the
45:52
mom, the entrepreneur, the dog mom, all those things, you know,
45:57
all her own schedule. And, you know, to me that brings
46:01
me joy. So it wasn't a really a
46:02
competition. And, you know, I'll let her
46:04
speak to this. And I kind of think her mindset
46:07
on the the whole corporate ladder climbing kind of changed
46:10
10 years ago. I mean, she just realized that
46:12
weren't really it I. Mean so so to that how I would
46:17
answer the question going all the way back.
46:18
Remember when we met, you know, corporate career girl on the
46:22
career ladder, you know, trying to get up there and be director
46:26
and seeing doing all of that stuff right to see that
46:29
evolution change of where I wanted my career to go.
46:34
It never felt like a competition of our careers or whose career
46:37
was more important because he when I was big time corporate in
46:42
a Starbucks, he was coming out of a government job, right?
46:46
And and so now that's kind of reverse.
46:49
I literally have coached him into, you know, the space that
46:52
he is in now with his career. And I look at it as, you know,
46:57
helping him. So it was never a competing of
47:00
whose job is more important or who can take this trip.
47:04
It was never that. It was seasons.
47:06
It was seasons of our career. My career was doing great at
47:10
this moment in time. His career is doing great at
47:12
this moment in time. And I'm super, super blessed,
47:16
incredibly blessed, so fortunate, so grateful.
47:19
But to his point, I can set my own schedule and I can do the
47:23
work I love and I can take care of my family and I can go pick
47:26
my baby girl up from school every day.
47:28
And I can't sit on the couch, get the dog for half an hour if
47:31
I need to relax, right. And, you know, kind of the
47:34
dream, right? And I'm still working, you know,
47:37
I still have a career, but I'm just doing it in a way that's
47:40
better for me, for my family and definitely for my marriage.
47:44
So I'm really, really grateful for that.
47:46
So the the career thing between us, you know, it was never a
47:49
competition. It was more just we're in these
47:52
different seasons and let's just try to weather these seasons as
47:56
best we can. Love that, love that y'all.
47:58
This has been so good. Like really and truly like this
48:04
is one of those episodes I myself can go back and just
48:08
listen to and pull out different Nuggets in.
48:10
Like you have things for people in various seasons.
48:14
So I got a couple, I'll call them like rapid fire questions.
48:19
Before we close with the signature.
48:21
OK first one, what advice would you give to your younger self?
48:24
Choose your friends wisely. I wouldn't my younger self.
48:27
I would say live your life and God is going to take care of
48:31
everything else. Don't set arbitrary goals
48:34
because you'll be disappointed when you don't meet them.
48:36
They say we make plans and God laughs.
48:39
And God laughs. Exactly.
48:41
So what would you say to couples who feel stuck but are
48:44
committed? If you're stuck, you have to
48:47
move. Stuckness means it's not
48:50
permanent, which means you got to take some action to actually
48:54
get unstuck. And if you're committed, you
48:56
should be able to do that together.
48:57
Look, you see. Me, I was like, that was solid,
49:00
that was solid. And then finally, like, what's
49:03
one piece of marriage advice that you wish someone gave you?
49:06
That I wish someone gave me. That's a good one.
49:09
I would say I wish someone had given me the advice of how game
49:15
changing children are. Like, you know, it is just on a
49:19
surface level, but until you're actually a parent and got a
49:23
human being you're responsible for is definitely a game
49:26
changer. It's it's different in ways you
49:28
just can't imagine. It's great.
49:29
It's, it's a blessing, it's loving, it's wonderful, but it's
49:32
just really different, you know, having a whole another person
49:37
that's as tall as me. Responsible.
49:40
She better be taller than you in a minute.
49:42
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
49:44
So I just really, I guess if I wish someone had given me some
49:48
marriage advice, it would have been about being married with a
49:51
family, with a child and the challenges that come with that.
49:54
Yeah, no, I was. I was very serious though, about
49:57
her almost getting taller. I looked at her whenever the
50:00
last Wednesday was we were in person.
50:02
I was like. I'll be the short one, yeah.
50:06
I'll be the short one in the family in a minute, yeah.
50:08
Okay, So what you got for us? I don't know if I have a good
50:12
answer for that one. I got great advice.
50:15
I'm going to flip that one back. The advice that I got that I
50:20
wish I hadn't. So, so again, that goes back to
50:25
make sure you choose your choose your, your, your groups wisely.
50:28
But it was the this he's going to change that the person that
50:33
you propose to and the person that you marry are going to be
50:36
two different people and that's that that was a lie.
50:39
He's the. Same.
50:40
Well, that means you didn't do your due diligence.
50:43
This is. Going to happen.
50:45
So that's, that's the advice that I ignored because so, but
50:49
yeah, but I, you know, we had good people around us, the
50:52
counseling and things. So but Nah, but I did get some
50:56
some some erroneous advice. I'm so glad you didn't listen to
51:00
that, right? Because I think that's a lot of
51:02
times what stops people from going forward with what could be
51:05
a good thing. And you have to really consider
51:08
who it's coming from and what their perspective is, what is
51:11
their dating and really relationship like, look like
51:14
their general outlook on life. Because if this is 1/2 empty
51:17
person, there's no way they want to.
51:19
First of all, they're like they they were still thinking she was
51:22
a barista, even though it's probably otherwise because they
51:25
didn't want to, you know, believe it.
51:27
Like, ain't no way she just walked up to you and tapped you
51:29
on your shoulder. You know what I mean?
51:31
Like the ease of it and how it just, it just happened.
51:34
I still just love that. That's just very like, God
51:37
magic, you know, just like, yeah.
51:41
It was. So we're going to close with
51:43
that signature question. If you could leave the audience
51:47
with one powerful truth to help them rise and thrive, what would
51:51
it be? I would say unequivocally, rise
51:55
and thrive with God. He has the answer.
51:58
Everything you need is in the Bible.
52:01
It's all there and just establishing that relationship
52:05
will be the best relationship that you'll have and everything
52:09
else will fall into place. All right, OK, so rise and
52:15
thrive with God. That's it.
52:16
Y'all heard it here. You can never go wrong.
52:20
Now, sometimes you might not understand, but you can talk to
52:24
him about that too. But rise and thrive with God and
52:27
trust the he's the same today, yesterday and forever and
52:31
tomorrow. Yep, Yep.
52:34
All right, audience. Well, this is where we shift to
52:36
you. Well, I want you to take a
52:38
moment to reflect on how you're defining lasting love and I want
52:43
you to ask what values matter most to me and long term
52:47
partnership. Also reflect on how do I
52:50
currently handle conflict repair and communication and in what
52:55
ways am I preparing, not just hoping or the kind of love that
53:00
I desire. And then I want you to take
53:02
action. So this week, choose one
53:04
intentional action. If you're single, write a short
53:07
list of the qualities that reflects character, faith and
53:10
emotional maturity, not just the and the partner that you desire.
53:15
If your partner, I want you to initiate one honest conversation
53:19
that you've been avoiding or schedule some intentional time
53:23
to reconnect without distractions.
53:26
And if you're married, ask your partner, what is one way that I
53:30
can support you better in this season and listen without
53:35
defending. See the team Jackson Co sided.
53:38
It's it's, it's good, it's legit.
53:40
So just know that small, consistent action really does
53:44
build strong foundations. And finally, I'm going to leave
53:47
you with an affirmation. I am worthy of a partnership
53:50
that is healthy, intentional, and enduring.
53:54
Thank you once again, Team Jackson, for being here.
53:57
This is so good and so juicy. We going to have to split this
54:01
into two parts. OK, so you're going to have a
54:03
Tuesday and a Thursday drop with this episode.
54:07
So this month of love, y'all are getting been so rich in the
54:10
outpouring of love. And if you haven't already sent
54:14
in your relationship questions, please send those.
54:18
I'm happy to answer those. Each episode of Rising thrive
54:21
with Doctor J Nicole, whether it's in friendship, it's with
54:24
your parents, it's in your relationship, your romantic
54:27
relationships, send it in. Everyone deserves to have
54:30
healthy relationships, to be in community, to love and be loved
54:34
the way that they deserve and desire.
54:36
So please send those in and if I can share or the guest share
54:40
anything to help you move closer to that.
54:42
We want to do that. It's been an absolute pleasure
54:45
to have Team Jackson. Thank you.
54:47
Make sure if this blessed you or you know somebody that can be
54:51
blessed by this, make sure you share it.
54:54
We want you to like, follow, subscribe wherever you are,
54:58
whatever platform, do the things and engage with us and let me
55:02
know future topics you want to hear about.
55:04
What were some key takeaways like your favorite gems dropped
55:07
from teen Jackson in today's episode?
55:10
And don't forget to shop the merch.
55:11
You can find that on Evolve with Doctor J nicole.com.
55:15
We're going to send you out of here.
55:16
Remember to keep rising in faith and thriving in purpose.
55:19
And I'll see you next week. Bye, Rachel.