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Mikeing Disciples - Interview: Sonny Emery - #016 · Providence Voice

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, welcome back to Miking Disciples.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is Mike Willis.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the ministry development pastor here at High Point Church in Lake Wales.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: And as you know, we have this podcast that comes out every other Monday.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: And when we do, it's all designed to help men become disciples of Jesus.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's the sole focus on this.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes we have these really deep discussions.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we have our kids on.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we'll have men in the community, or I've had my dad on who is in Alabama.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Just different people like that that are great men of God that I respect and admire and have spent a lot of time with.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I want you to hear their stories so that hopefully they will motivate you all that are listening to and inspire you to become that kind of men, that kind of man, or to want that kind of man in your life.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so today I'm honored to have a guest on.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: His name is Sonny Emory.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Sonny's a good friend of mine.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I've watched him uh in several arenas and and areas.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, he's the same man every time.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, Sonny, welcome.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's good to have you on here today.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me, Mike.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Been looking forward to it.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so tell us a little bit about you.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Who who is Sonny Emery?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let me start by by just saying I was honored that you even asked me to be on here.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So uh what a what an honor it is because I've been listening to Mike and Disciples, and uh we were just talking about what how neat it is to actually be sitting here across from you.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, welcome on the show.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, um what was your question then?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us about you.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like who is Sonny Emory?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh I was born and raised here in Lake Wells uh actually, and I still live um two, three blocks away from where I was raised at over there on Cohassa Avenue in Lake Wells.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so yeah, there's that.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And went to Hillcrest Elementary School.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And uh You live right next door now.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And now I live right behind.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, the house that I live in in sixth grade, we walked back to the house, that house.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Back then it was Mr.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Wolfson that owned the house, but we walked back there and my teacher did a scuba diving demonstration in the pool.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so and and here I am swimming in that same pool.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So uh so I was born and raised here in Lake Wells and went to uh now called McLaughlin Middle School and uh and then I went to Lake Wells High School, got into um got into football and in high school with uh Rod Schaefer, Coach Schaefer, and uh had a great time doing that, and then went on to college and got to play college football and uh You were a safety, right?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: You got to build for it.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, no kicker.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah What did you play?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I was uh defensive in in college and in high school I was uh definitely the biggest guy, so I was a offensive lineman.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and uh uh had a great time doing that and uh came back from college and was like, well, now what?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what am I gonna do?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And still didn't know what I wanted to do, and I so I went back to work at Publix where I worked in high school and um just uh one day, oh well actually when I was in Publix, I would see the the uh Lake Wells Fire Department come and get their groceries and stuff.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I I just thought that was the neatest thing ever.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So uh my dad was a fireman for a short, short while and and uh when I was a kid, so um kind of always had a fascination with that and uh started out volunteering at Golfview Fire Department, which is a part of Polk County Fire Department, and um just had a blast doing that.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: The county sent me the the volunteer to be a volunteer firefighter, and I thought, man, you're gonna pay me to do this, you know, and I can actually get paid to do this because I was enjoying it so much.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And um so and I just grew in my career from there and went on to to be kind of to get my full-time standards and uh got hired with the city of Winter Haven and um worked there for uh just under 29 years and retired from Winter Haven Fire Department uh a couple years ago, I think.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just loved the job.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just it was very rewarding.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: One of the my my opinion is just the best career you can get into.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I just really love doing that.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: So you did that for for 29 years.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you kind of rose through the ranks a little bit and added on some other credentials and and uh responsibilities and areas.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I remember I was uh blessed to to share a few words at your retirement ceremony a few years ago.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um tell us a little bit about so you started that, you you saw those guys in public, so went through that training, then then what happens over the 29-year period?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh in Winter Haven is is very, very busy.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they're up to running, I think they run about 60 calls in a 24-hour shift.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that a lot?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean, if you think about it, if you break it down, you know, that's that's quite a quite a few per hour, you know.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So not a lot of downtime and stuff.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, you know, after about 13 years of that, I got I got tired of putting a gear on and it it gets hot.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And um you believe it or not, you do anything long enough, you're gonna get tired of it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I got tired of doing that.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and Winter Haven's got its own its own investigation, uh, fire investigation division, fire prevention division.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So um they Winterhaven was gracious enough to send me to school for that, and uh including in that was uh uh going to the police academy and becoming a sworn officer for uh city of Winter Haven.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I became a police officer for the city of Warner Haven, uh as well as being a firefighter for Warner Haven and became a uh fire investigator and rose through the ranks of that and became the fire marshal who oversees that division.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um and it just um and I really enjoyed that.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I got to be on the uh the SWAT team with Warner Haven, um doing a lot of entries on uh felony search warrants and barricaded subjects and stuff like that.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, and I just I it's kind of like adrenaline thing for me, but I just love doing it.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um still love doing it.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if I if my wife would let me and uh if my body would let me, I'd probably still be doing it.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, but anyway, um at the time going through all this, and this was about year 25 for Winter Haven, maybe 24, uh, they were in search of a new fire chief for Winter Haven.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and I at first I just, you know, my one of my my bosses came to me, uh, which was uh public safety director for the city of Winter Haven, Charlie Byrd, uh, great mentor of mine, by the way.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: But he came to me.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've met Charlie, yeah.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Fantastic guy.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And uh he came to me and said, you know, hey, have you ever thought about being fire chief?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And at the time I was the interim fire chief because they didn't have one.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: The fire and the fire marshal steps up and became the interim fire chief.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Absolutely not.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want no part of this.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still having a lot of fun doing what I'm doing.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so they they continued the search for another six months, and then he he came to me again and asked again, and my answer was the same.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I said, No, no, and I wish you'd hurry up and find somebody so I can get back to having fun.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And and then um it was just as uh one night God spoke to me and said, Look, I'm opening this door and I think you need to walk through it.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And and uh I just uh kind of humbly kind of took a deep breath and talked to my wife about it, and of course, she uh said that she would back me whatever my decision was.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we prayed on it and um and we walked through that door, or I walked through that door and uh became the fire chief of Winter Haven and until my retirement.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So do you remember that night um when when God spoke to you?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: What what was it that about it that you walked away going, okay, I know this is what I'm supposed to do?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was it's just a a feeling or a sense of peace over you, and and I um, you know, that's how God speaks through us, and and um and it it's just you know, of course, it feels like a light bulb going off over your head, and you know, and it it it just you know during my devotions and you know that's when God speaks to me the most, or when I'm driving and doing devotions uh over the radio and stuff, and um, you know, that but yes, I do remember, you know, God, it was just as plain as day, and he said, you know, hey, I'm opening this door for you and I I want you to walk through it.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And everything in me started, you know, immediately started making excuses.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, God, I don't, you know, I'm not that kind of a leader.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not, you know, I I can't do this.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I'm not a fire chief, I'm a this, I'm a that.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, when but when God speaks, it's our duty uh as as men of God to to humbly accept and do and go where he leads you.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's so powerful to talk about that and think about that.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's guys Moses and Abraham, and we could go on and on, men in the Bible that that were you you talked about being humble and hearing God's voice and being willing to do whatever it is that he wants you to do.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And and so the humility and the willingness to obey him, no matter what environment he sends you to, uh, no matter what job responsibility you have, you know, we know that when God calls us to go into these arenas, it's because he wants someone like you to do that.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, we we find that hard to believe, you know, pick someone else.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, don't send me in to talk to the king of Egypt.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Don't send me into uh the the you know from a lamb far away by faith while I'm waiting to have a child, or don't send me in to be the fire chief.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, let me just keep doing what I'm I'm good at and what I'm comfortable in.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes God uh has to do things to move us out of that so that he can use us in that new arena because there are people and platforms that that really he wants to put us on uh so that he can use us in that environment in a way so that other people will see that and and see the kind of man that you are.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um so that's really amazing, honestly, that that anytime I meet someone, there are a couple of things about you that I find interesting and amazing.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: One, um, that that you have that story that you just kind of didn't know what you were doing, what you wanted to do with your life, and um then God opens a door and another door and another and another, and all of a sudden you kind of find yourself in this elevated role, yeah, you know, where you've got leadership responsibilities and people are watching you and seeing you and have the way the way you handle things.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I've always admired that about you to see how you handle that.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um what are some things that that you can remember in your career that you've seen?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want you to get into the details of anything, you know, cases or anything like that, but what do you remember about that that has you going, yeah, this is right where I should have been.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is what I should have been doing the whole time.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there were several calls.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and like I said, we're not gonna get into the details of the calls, but I know that I was meant to be on that call, not so I could go in there and be uh, you know, save a life or anything like that.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: But for more than anything, I I needed to be there for my my team.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh there was there was a horrible accident and one day and it was it, I believe it was uh nine or ten o'clock in the morning.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a weird time of day, but and unfortunately uh a little girl uh lost her life and a family lost uh their their daughter, and it was just a horrible, horrible day for them.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and I could tell that the crews on the scene was just uh that they were just distraught.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was just a the whole the whole thing was just bad all the way around.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and um so I I responded to the scene, uh, not to run the scene.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I had battalion chiefs to do that, and uh, but strictly to to be there for my people.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and I could see the chaos, uh, and this was after the call was over.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the the the patient had already, you know, the the and the rescues have taken the the patients away and and that kind of stuff, and the parents weren't there and everything, but my team is just like it was almost like a scene off of Zavin Private Ryan, you know, that they're just so distraught.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, um, God said, we we need to huddle up and and talk to him.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so I called my team over and and we all got in a huddle, and um, and unfortunately there was a chaplain there.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: So the the chaplain actually came over and we all you know sat right there and prayed.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and because I didn't know what else to do at the time, you know, and uh and you can never go wrong when talking to God.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: So we sat there and we talked to God and um asked for peace over that family and um uh over the uh family and over us because you know it it's it's bad for us, but it's gonna be really bad in the weeks to come and the months and years to come for the that little the little girl's family.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So but you know, I just feel and and that happened multiple times throughout my career where I got a chance to uh to lead those fine men and women, you know, um, and just just be a leader to them and be be there when they needed to be there.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And there was be a shoulder to cry on sometimes and to be stern when you needed to be stern.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: But whatever God needed me to be, it was nice to be able to be there and do that.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: So and so in those moments, I'm sure at some point, either during that or afterwards, you reflect back and go, okay, yes, I get what you why you call me into this.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm right where you want me to be.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: And and sometimes that's not where we want to be.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm sure in that in those moments you would would have preferred to have um something that's a little less stress stressful, right?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but but the way God's equipped you and the way he's using you sends you into those set s situations.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: How does obviously you went through a whole lot of training um on how to handle those situations?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: And but how does your training kick in in those times of tragedy and trauma?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: What what do you do?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Is it more your spiritual training?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Is it the actual you know day-to-day training that you've gone through?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: What what helps you in those moments?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I guess it it definitely falls back into my spiritual training.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um to me, uh to me, that's the easy part.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: When there's people walking around banging their head on the wall and they just don't know what to do, and it's to me that's the easy part.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know what to do, and um as far as uh who to turn to when I when I'm in those times, you know, and it's just you know, you you it is a constant daily uh prayer and and um just to turn it over to him every every day.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, there's not a day and sometimes multiple times throughout the day where you just have to turn it over to him and let him guide you because um if it wasn't for that, you know, the I I don't know what I would have done.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like that I because I'll tell you right now, I wasn't the most qualified.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: 100% wasn't qualified.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't want to say I wasn't qualified, but I didn't have all the the doctorates and the master's degrees and all that kind of stuff behind my name, all those good letters, and uh you know, I was but I was the at the time that's just where God wanted me, you know, and so and it and it just seemed to work out.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: In my devotional time today, I'm reading this book.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's I think it's called Calling Out the Called, and it's about following our call, obviously, um, to do what God tells us to do.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that the author was talking about was we often pray for God to use me.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: But he said, I started changing that and praying, make me usable.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and that stuck out to me for a moment, you know.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I think that's what you're talking about, that we we can say, um, use me and and and let me, by the way, God, let me dictate to you where you can use me and and where I don't want you to to send me.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but when we start answering to a God that controls everything and knows everything, including what's best for us, then we need to change that prayer and say, okay, send me wherever it is you want to send me and use me however, make me usable.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it just dawned on me when you were talking about that, um that that we need to get to that place.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like each and every day that you put on your gear and went to your job that um you you would do that.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you didn't verbally say that, but you are getting yourself in the place that God can use you no matter what situation he sends you into.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And and even now, uh in your retired days, quote unquote, you're still serving.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: And um tell us about that.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: What what are you doing now?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I took I took six months off.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, once I retired, I retired in January of uh whatever year, it was a couple years ago.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it literally, you know, and before I retired, I was like, man, when I retire, I'm gonna every day I'm gonna be hunting, fishing, you know, because I love to hunt.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a man and I love to fish.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And as long as I'm in the woods or on the water, I'm I'm having a good time.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and it literally took about a month of that.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was going nuts being at the house and and uh because you've done this for decades.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I I went the uh the hole.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I I did a little bit of construction and you know, and helped out and found out that uh that that just I mean it it it's not fun um at all.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And and God bless the people that do it.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm glad there's people that enjoy it, but um, it's not a fun thing.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I I I sat my wife down and and we talked and I said, Hey, what do you think about uh about me going back into service?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And and she said, Before you even start, are we talking the fire service or the police service?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it's a police service, the answer is no.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I I I'm never gonna stop you from doing where what God wants you to do.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, I I guess I didn't realize at the time that um, you know, uh a worryful wife when you get up at 2 3 in the morning and uh go out, you know, to knock on somebody's door, you know, um, it it really bothered her uh a lot.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so I I told her no.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: I and we'll talk about that in a minute, as far as police work.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: But uh so anyway, she said, uh, fire service, you know, where are you thinking about going?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, well, not anything like Winter Haven.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to go somewhere where um um that you know we'll run a couple calls, but mainly I can go and train and and work out because I enjoy working out, and um and uh God led me to Fort Meade, the city of Fort Mead.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I uh I currently am employed with the city of Fort Mead and I'm a captain on um on A shift and I just um got a good bunch of men and women down there that I enjoy working with and uh but I figured I wanted to go out doing that because I enjoy it so much.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I am gonna do it as long as uh my body allows me to do it, and which I forecast about five, you know, about four more years.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And by then, you know, our our daughter Sparrow will will be graduating from Providence here, and uh so me and my wife will enjoy retirement together.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: But uh so that's where I'm currently at.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, you were we were talking about police work that you know, and I didn't realize it at the time, but you know, I really enjoyed it, and and there are some great men and women out there um behind the badge.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: And but you know, I I didn't I didn't see it at the time, but you go and you you're dealing with with people and I don't want to call them I don't know what to call 'em, you know, because they're good people and or or not, they're really not good people, but that's why you're there.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're just dealing with a a type of person on a day-to-day basis and it and it changes you.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: It um even being a it it it's hard not to take that home.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you know, and I kind of beat myself up over that because I feel like it it turned me into a uh a meaner or mean person, not I, you know, was still a Christian, came to church, loved the Lord, but i I just didn't like what it uh made me.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because it hardens you?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: It hardens you.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, like because no matter where you go, and I would come to church here on Sunday and and you know where we sit.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: But and we sit there for a reason because okay, if somebody because you're constantly, constantly just if somebody comes in here with a gun, okay, mom shooting or I'm pushing my family out that door and I'm turning to return fire and and but I gotta be careful not to hit Pastor Mike background on the background.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like that kind of stuff.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so it I appreciate that.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: It you're constantly you can't turn your brain up and it just changes you as a person.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, it made me a very, very hard person.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like I remember coming to the church and during those, you know, and I was I was on a team for 13 years.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember coming to church and you know, by the time we got here, and I I'm just sitting there on the front row and I'm just mad.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, for no reason.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's no reason, but I was just not a sociable person, you know, and I at the time I didn't see it.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: But looking back, you know, and what kind of broke my heart one time is Tish, and she's like, you know, I don't think you realize how how you were when you were doing that, you know, and and that kind of stuff.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it and and it it it sometimes the truth hurts.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And um so I'm you know, and it and and I'm not talking about any abuse or anything like that.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: There was nothing like that, but it's just you know, that that the guy that I am now, the very sociable and and and that kind of stuff.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: You just it it being a police officer changes you.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: So um, and it is a very tough job.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, to go out because I'm what's crazy is I I would run I would run a call with the fire department and they're just happy to see you and this and that, and you can't, you know, and then you turn around the next week or next month and you run the same address as a police officer and they're hating your guts, you know, and it's like everybody loves the fire department, everybody hates the police department, you know, and they so it's it it is a tough role, but um, so I chose then not to go back into law enforcement.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I I'm happy doing what I'm doing now, and actually it gives me time to because even at the house now, things are hectic with the kids and that kind of stuff.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm down there, I can go in my my bunk and there's a desk in there and I can have my quiet time and my devotion.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times I write my devotions uh while I'm down there because uh, you know, we'll run two or three calls a shift down there.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, but but yeah, I'm really enjoying it down there.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um great things are happening in Fort Mead and I'm glad to be a part of it.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then in your spare time, um, like today, you sometimes help out here at Providence Academy as one of our guardians.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm actually in the safest room in the building right now because you're uh armed and ready to go.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: But um I'm thankful for guys like you.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when when I have people come here to the church and meet me for an appointment, I tell them our guardians will approach you as you come to the building and they will ask you what you're doing.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to tell them you're here to see me.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that, you know, they'll get you where you need to go in the building, and it's all a secured entrance and all of those things that unfortunately you have to do now in schools.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it it's it's a sad day that we have to have things in place and procedures in place for safe schools, but but it is good that we have them now to protect our students and our staff.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I want to talk a little bit.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: You mentioned your wife, Tish.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh tell me about when you guys got together and what you've done because she's a nurse.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: She is a nurse.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: She's a nurse and she's like amazing at it.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: And how long has she been in in the nursing field?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: She, matter of fact, she just got, she works for um Baycare.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so she's in Bartow right now, but she just got her 25th year um pin and stuff like that.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: So she's and uh I I I know I'm bragging on my wife, but she is an amazing nurse.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I wish she would have uh or we would have pushed her on to go ahead and and become a doctor, because I'm telling you, she's she is very, very intelligent.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad that one of us is because it's definitely her.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: She is the intelligent one.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: You were smart enough to ask her to marry.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Give yourself at least that.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: But you guys have a you have a great marriage, right?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: It seems that way.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the things.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Lynn and I have spent time talking with you two, and it's obvious that you love each other.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm curious, what what do you do when you both come home from these stressful environments?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's just you or you and and her and the kids, and and you're handling just day-to-day, everyday responsibilities that can be stressful, but nowhere near what you've just left.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: How do you take that aside and and clock out and come home and just spend time together as a family?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um, thank goodness now down in Fort Me, there's there's not a whole lot that happens.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I I don't want to say I don't get stressed out down there, but there's uh, you know, we'll run fires and a lot of brush fires down there, but brush fires to me aren't stressful, they're fun, you know, and and any firefighter that's in the business will agree with me.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's just that's just a good time to go out and you know, grass always grows back and trees, and so it's it's you know, so there's not a whole lot of stress down there.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Tish, Tish is still involved in a lot of stress.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, and that's part of being a a good husband.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: And she has taught me this because to me, uh, you know, when I and we're completely opposite, when I come home after a stressful day, when I was at Winter Haven and stuff, uh bad days, bad calls, I I don't want to talk about it.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: I I want to put it in my little Pandora's box and um tuck it away.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I know every counselor out there is like, no, don't do that.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: But and that's but that's that's just the way I handle stuff.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I've tried the counseling bit when it when needed, and to me it just makes it worse, but that's just me, and and that's not the way that probably should be.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: But Tish wants to talk about it.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she has taught me over um over the years that um that we and and we're we've been together 21 now, 21 years, and uh that she does need to talk.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: And she so that me being a good husband, all I can do is I'll sit there and and comfort her and let her just vent and talk.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times it's it's uh we'll get in the the the the truck and we will go down the road and I'll go get her a toppers ice cream sundae and and just let her vent and talk, but that's you know, that's part of being a good husband, you know, and I've learned that over the years.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: You just gotta be there.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's how we deal with it.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: And and um but and we've we have learned to pray together and and devotion together and um be with all that together, you know, you just to just to be there for her in in her times of need, because she's gone through uh a rough life and um with her her childhood and and uh her family and stuff like that, but um, I don't think she'd mind me talking about it.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: But but no, just being there for her.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when of course she is there for me if I ever do want to talk, but that's um usually um I just want to keep to myself.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: You said a couple of things there.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think that there's men and women listening to this, and and I think one of the things you said is you'd learned that.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you didn't start out 21 years ago in marriage and going, okay, I know that I don't like to talk about these things, but she does.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: So let's get in the truck and go for a ride and and we'll just talk when when we're ready to.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: You had to learn that.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: And what you've described, man, is just the difference between a husband and a wife for the most part.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: That we as men uh keep things bottled up more and our our our wives are more expressive and more emotional, and that's a good thing, um, where they want to share their feelings.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: And and we don't normally start out that way, but healthy marriages kind of learn the balance between that and how that pre brings about healthy communication, right?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and um so for you, it might be getting in the truck and riding with your wife somewhere.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that Land and I have started doing, we've started working out together.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, like last night we I ate supper, some of our kids came over, I had a big meal, it was a healthy meal, but it was great.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then she goes, You want to go to the gym?
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: But but we went.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad we did.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's something we're we're doing to spend time together.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Our kids are older now, we only have one living in the house.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: You understand this, and um, so that frees you up a little bit to where it can become more time that Mike and Lana have instead of Mike and Lana and our six kids and spouses and soon-to-be grandchild and all this stuff.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I think that how did you learn that?
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: How did you learn I need to communicate more with my wife instead of just keeping things in?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: I would before I answer that question, you brought up a good point about working out, you and Lana working out, which it's hilarious because me and Tish tried that.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: And and that does not work.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: And like you're a college athlete, right?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: You worked out, you still like to.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: You still love to work out.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: You look like you can put the helmet on pads on today.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I that probably wouldn't go so far.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: But uh Tisha is is is not the physical type.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the physical type that wants to, I want to go out and and do triathlons and and put on the the weight vest and and crawl up the hill and and throw in, you know, I'm I'm an extreme um workout, whatever you want to call it.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I I enjoy pushing the limits until I until I can't.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Tisha is a let's go stroll around like was like so.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Usually our workouts end up in um not arguments, but you know, me turning around like, oh, come on, you know, one of those deals, like hurry up, you know, and push yourself.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so we we don't really work out together.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: If we let me preface this, you know, so when we we walk in the gym together, we check in together, and it's like, okay, I'm going over here to do this for 45 minutes.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see you back here, we'll check in with each other.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: So we're not side by side spotting each other on things, you know.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um we may start on the treadmill together or something, but she's focusing on some things for her, and I am too.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: So when I say work out together, I mean we ride there together.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then we ride home together and we talk about it.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: So and I will tell you this about my, you know, my wife is is I don't want to, I don't, I'm certainly not going to tell her weight, but I don't even know how tall she is.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: But she's not big, you know.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um uh she probably weighs about 120 pounds, if I had to guess.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but and I could have muted that if you didn't want to.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you might need to cut that out.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: But uh no, she point being she is not big.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I am 6'5, 300 pounds.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: She is very, very small.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I when I talk about working out, I have a uh tractor tire in the backyard that I will I will set up a circuit at my house sometimes and go out and I'll flip that tire.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know how big tractor tires can be.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that girl got out and flipped that tractor ten times.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I mean, she is like a firecracker in a little, you know, one of those little So were you like point take, and I'm gonna remember not to make her.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: She she will totally take you down.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, she's one of those.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, um, back to your original question about learning.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, yeah, and and Tish taught me that because I mean it it I don't sit still very often.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even in the house, there's days that what you know when the sun's still up, you know, there's work to be done, or I want to go out and do something.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a recliner sitting, you know, retired guy yet.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: But uh and and Tish will enjoy sitting and reading a book.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so she will one day she literally This is why our wives get along, right?
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: So she literally had to like grab me by the shirt and say, Listen, like stop moving for a second.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: I need you to listen to me.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need you to listen to me.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, look, and I remember that day.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so that was another light bulb that went off.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so she has taught me what what not just what she needs, but probably what most wives need.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: They they want to they want a husband that that they can cry to and and um vent to and and and just talk to.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and and there's so many husbands nowadays.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: I see it all the time at the fire department and uh at Winter Haven too.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: They you know they they don't have a clue.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you and I'm sitting back saying, you know, this is not a difficult thing.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't I don't know how I can figure it out, but you can't, you know.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: But you just have to take time to sit down with your wife.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, she she has taught me that over the course of our marriage.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: And um, but yeah, it just gets better every year, every day.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do to protect yourself and and have healthy boundaries?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because you're around other people.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm assuming that your shifts uh have you staying away for a time.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I'm talking about integrity-wise, you as a man, what is it?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: What's something that you do to protect your marriage um and your faithfulness in that area?
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some of those things.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, absolutely.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: There and and you're right, our shifts in most fire departments are 24 on 48 off.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Polk County just moved to uh 24 on 72 off.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, but yeah, you're at the fire department for 24 hours at a time.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: And um and probably six months ago, maybe five months ago, my um uh the chief at the time came to me and they had hired a female.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so you're talking about integrity, and he came to me and wanted me to wanted to put her on my shift.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like he wanted me to be her, and she's a brand new firefighter.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I said, Well, I said, I don't mind at all, but I'm of course gonna need to talk to my wife.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, the other uh two captains, there's A, B, and C shifts.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: So the other two captains on the other two shifts, of course, their wives are like, uh-uh, not having you know, because it's just at the time it was just it it's a captain and a firefighter at the time, but now we have more personnel now.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: But so you're spending a third of your life in in the fire department with a female, basically.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: So um and and I went to Tish and Tish, I mean, she didn't even hesitate, you know.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, you know, babe, I I trust you a hundred percent.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: And and and there wasn't even it's not even an issue anymore.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: And uh um my partner, so she's still my partner, you know, down there.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: But now we have, I think yesterday we had six people on.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it it's not just me and her anymore, but but uh as far as setting boundaries and stuff like that, it it's I learned, you know, I was I got saved when I was eight years old, you know, and we do good old West Side Baptist Church over over there, and um uh which is not even there anymore, but um got saved and uh and you know you know as well as I do getting saved at eight years old is a great, great thing.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know the Bible t says that you know you're supposed to raise your kids and wear the Lord, but and my parents did.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, but it being a Christian as an eight-year-old or even a a 16-year-old is a lot different being a Christian as a 51-year-old man.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what I have learned over the years is that you know God God just is not and I hear you and Jack talk about this all the time.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: God is not something that you just turn on on Sundays or maybe even Sundays and Wednesdays.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there comes a point if you're gonna be a Christian man and you are gonna and you choose to walk with him, because that's what that's ultimately what he wants.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: He wants a relationship with you.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just a, yeah, I go to church, I go to I go to high point, you know.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is a it is a constant everyday, I mean, waking up in the morning and and speaking to him before you even get out of bed, or or when you do it it, you know, on your knees talking to him in the morning and um going to him the multiple times throughout the day, having a relationship with him just like you'd have a relationship with your wife.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um so and and I've learned over the years that that that's what it takes.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and um that's the kind of Christian man that God wants us to be.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Is is he wants a relationship with you, uh, men and women alike.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: And um and and just learning through through um you know devotions and and podcasts and and sermons and you know, the internet is a great thing now because I can while I'm driving, like I drive a lot to uh well to Fort Meade, and then I I bought property up in North Florida.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm on the road a lot, so listening to Miking Disciples and I have and I have found a uh a good friend of mine, Travis Tucker, actually turned me on to Joe B.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Martin.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you church a lot of people.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love him too.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's amazing.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: So uh yeah, he's boy.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm reading his book right now.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, are you?
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's tremendous.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I listen to a lot of him, but uh it it what it boils down to, Mike, is it it is just a const it is a constant relationship that I have with with God.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it it's and that's what it takes.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because I mean if you don't have that, it it it's very easy to go.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm when I when I mean it even somebody like me uh that has a close relationship with God and stuff, how easy it is to be tempted.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but you have to, you know, even when I was on the team back in the day, the first thing we would learn is is um, okay, we need to know who we're going after, we need to know the the resonance, we need to know what their strengths are, what they're you know, and so you basically have to learn your enemy, and that's what that's part of our um responsibility too, is we gotta we gotta know our enemy and know his tactics.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do that, you will know you can almost you can almost call it.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can almost call the shots and say, Oh, I I everything is going great right now.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: That is so good.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't even begin to think about what you just touched on.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, even I'm I'm a football guy, sure, you know, it just the season just kicked off.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's the most wonderful time of the year for me, like up until February.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: We won't talk about the four state games.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's fine.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, it I mean, it only if you want to, but you know they're not.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, my sons and I, we just ordered Sunday ticket last night and we share that together, and we'll talk, you know, I'm going over to one of their houses tonight to watch the first NFL game.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: We love football.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and in that you've got these X's and O's, right?
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: Offense versus defense.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I've had a couple of sons that were offensive linemen also.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so they yeah, they have to understand they have to you have to look at the defense, the other side, right, and and be able to determine what their tendencies might be, what their um movements are gonna be, where's the lineman shifting to, is the safety playing back, all those things that come into play.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: But at times, then there's only so much preparation you can do about that because you don't know what the enemy's going to do.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know what you're supposed to do.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: On the and we go on the offensive, right?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: So when we think about things like the armor of God, first of all, you know, the helmet of salvation and the breastplate of righteousness and the cleats that that cover our feet that keep us grounded and the belt of truth.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then it talks about in Ephesians 6, the word of God, which is the sword of the spirit.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's the only offensive part.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so it really does come down to as a man, no matter what area of life we're in, whether we're talking about who I am just in general as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a worker, whatever it is, um, as somebody on a worship team or hosting a podcast or a neighbor to my, you know, in my neighborhood, whatever role we're in, there is a playbook for us to follow.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the word of God.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: And we've got to be in that regularly because it tells us this is where God speaks to us through his word and tells us how we're supposed to handle things, how we're supposed to go into these situations.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: Does it go, hey Mike, on next Tuesday at four o'clock, you're gonna be tempted with this thing?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, but it does tell me to get up every day and and focus on him.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, that it also says he was tempted in every way, but was without sin.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when we he won't let us be tempted beyond what we can bear, but when we are tempted, he offers us a way out.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it all makes sense to me what you're talking about, that these areas of our life as men, when we go into them, we've got to understand what it is that God is telling me to do and and how he's asking me to live.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so then if I start to step out of bounds and go where he doesn't want me to, even in my thinking, then the spirit of God is there living in me, saying, Mike, don't you do that, don't go that direction.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I hear you saying about every area of your life.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things I've admired about you is just your consistency.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, when we were talking before we came on the air, one of the things you you asked me, what do I mean by that?
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_01: I mean that every time I see Sonny Emery, no matter what setting he's in, no matter what's going on or how stressful life is, because I've talked with you when stress levels were high, you're still consistent.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's never going to be a time when you're You're going to go, oh, well, I don't need God for this situation because He's not going to come through with me.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're always coming back to what keeps you grounded, and that's how God is working in you.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's your faith.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that spills out into every other area of your life.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's what I admire most about you, besides the fact, something we haven't even talked about, that you and I are fellow Striper fans.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll get into that a little bit.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: But um, and they're coming in October, by the way, to Orlando.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: We might make a road trip for that, you and I.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: That'd be fun.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I really think that that there's men listening going, man, how do I do that?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_01: How do I get that consistency in life?
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: That no matter what situation or environment or arena I'm in, I'm the same man.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because there are some men, I'm thinking of some right now specifically, won't name them, but they're different when they're sitting there at a table with you than they are when they're at their job and not not with their wife or whatever.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: So, how what are some things that you would say to that guy who's wanting this consistency in his life and is trying to figure out how to do it?
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: What what would you say to him?
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: What advice would you give him?
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I was fortunate even as a as a kid and all the way up to my career and and even right now as a 51-year-old, I had and still have some great, great mentors in my life.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, men that I can just look up to and and that I can say, man, I want to be like that.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wanna I want to be a husband like that.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be a man of God like that.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be, you know, uh a father just like that, you know, and and um that that but that's the the the first thing.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I will throw this out there.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: One of my biggest mentors in in my life is is a guy named Jim Davis.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Jim Davis was my first shift captain when I got hired at Winter Haven in 1998.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I woke in or walked in the the front door there, of course, nervous as all, you know.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I went in and Jim met me, and uh with a smiling face, he was a good, good Christian man, still is, and uh we we talk at least two or three times a week.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think I met him at your retirement certainly, right?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he got up and spoke too.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um great, great man.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: But just you know, find yourself a mentor because I'm telling you, if you if you hang around, what's that saying that if hang around with dog with fleas, you're gonna get fleas or something like that.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you don't need to be hanging around people you don't need to be hanging around, you know, and uh it it just comes down to that.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: Bad company corrupts good character, right?
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: Hebrews talk or 1 Corinthians talks about that.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely, you know, and and but there comes a time when you just have to say to yourself that you know, God, I turn it all over to you.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: No matter if it's good or bad, and and um you know, you you were talking that you were talking about the times that you've seen me in my worst, you know, and and uh there's been times where me and you have I've called Mike in the uh and and sometimes in the night and just completely distraught and stuff that you know I'm going through at home with with my kids and and just in tears, you know, and and you were gracious enough to to to meet with me and um to pray with me and just um but just having guys like that, but even through that, you know, you have to make your mind up that you know this is this is tough.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is really tough, but but you know what, yeah, you're with me through it, through it all.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: And and no matter what, you're still gonna be with me.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm gonna trust in you.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta put your trust in him and um you gotta have great mentors, and you you have to make the decision that no, I'm not gonna do this anymore.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we're gonna do it this way, and um, and it's the way that God wants me to do it.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm hearing you say a couple of things there that are really helpful, I think, practically speaking.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: You have to decide you want a different outcome than you had before.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then you've got to surrender some things to the Lord.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: No one can do this for you, and then you need some other men around you.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, where do you go to find men?
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody's listening to this now and going, Yeah, I I okay, the first two, I'm good.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready to surrender.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: I know who God is, but where do I find a group of men like that?
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's start with where you're not gonna find them.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, because that is so good, man.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: Go.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're talking about you're not gonna find them in a bar or in a casino or or out doing stuff where you don't need to be doing it.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: And are you are is the only place to find them in church?
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's not.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I will tell you this if you if you reach out to God and you ask him for mentors, he will put people in your life.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's so true.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_00: He will put people there, and I have all the faith in the world in that.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, but that but yes, I think it's very important, and it's like the same thing.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, men, women, I need a husband, I need a wife, and I'm going, I can't find anybody, you know, and and I I think I heard Jack say this one time in one of his sermons.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you ain't gonna find a husband and a wife, a good husband and a wife in a bar, you know, half snockered and that kind of stuff.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, of course, church is gonna be my answer.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because there's there's a lot of good men and women um that are not flawless, yeah, you know, that are not uh without sin.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: But uh folks think that they're they're just you know, I I I I don't deserve to go to church or I'm not good enough to go to church, you know.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, if you don't have to be perfect to come to church, especially our church, you know, and um I learned that a long time ago.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um even as as uh as a starting out being a Christian, you know, it it is still a struggle, right?
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: The temptations and the the um the it's just tough.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it is a daily, daily walk, daily devotion uh as a man to uh make that decision that you're just you're gonna do the right thing.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when you because you will, you will mess up.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do, you know, um God is faithful to forgive.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: So and you get back on the horse and yeah, you keep going.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right, absolutely.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: And and so, you know, one of the privileges I have too is you to work with you.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're on our men's leadership team here for our for our men of high point um ministry that we have, and we're constantly trying to find ways to build into men and give them options about how to have these relationships.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, currently, right now, we're um getting guys to sign up.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: There's a Banda Brothers boot camp that's 10 minutes away from here coming up in November.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I went last year and it's powerful.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's like 600 men that are gonna be there in that room.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, in a few weeks, I'm traveling to Charlotte, North Carolina to speak at a men's conference.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you you can find that if you you I say this all the time.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: You'll find whatever you're looking for wherever you go.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I've told my sons that, and it's really so true.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I loved that you said, well, let's talk about where you're not gonna find it first.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's true.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I've experienced that and seen that, and I know there are men that have looked there, and um, so if you want to find some godly men, you got to get where there are some godly men.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: I know that sounds so simplified, but it really is.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've got different men's groups that we're trying to, you know, we went from one to three to five, and next year, I'd love to have 10.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and we're challenging people and and talking about that, and you know, because we want to provide these opportunities for men to connect.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so grateful that you're a part of that team here with us and um and that you're just available.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know right now, if I said, hey Sonny, I've got a man that's struggling and needs someone to talk to, if you're able to, you're gonna sit down with me.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: And there are people like you and other men that are that are willing to do that.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think another thing that we need to talk about is just that that if you are struggling as a man, you need to ask for help.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: This whole idea of you trying to figure it out on your own and being a lone ranger, that's not gonna work for you.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, and and it, I'm telling you right now, and even as much as we're sitting here and we're talking about this, and and you might be thinking, yeah, but yeah, but you're Sonny and you're Mike, you know, and you guys got got it all going on.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: You got a great wives and and that kind of stuff, but and but I'm telling you, it we we have messed up.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know I Mike, I just plain ashamed.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: Ashamed.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't feel worthy enough to be sitting here, you know, um looking back on my past and stuff, even as a Christian, you know, the times that I've slipped up, I I just don't even feel worthy, you know.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: And but I think that the forgiveness, you know, the blood covers that.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you, Lord.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, thank you for that a hundred percent.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it wasn't for that, you're never you're never gonna be good enough.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not that you know, we're not supposed to be worthy, but we that's part of of being a Christian is knowing that and and accepting that.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: So um but anyway, yeah, that's that's and there's just something about a group of of good Christian men uh together that they can share that.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure if we had 20 guys in here that every one of them would say the same thing.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not easy.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's not easy.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_00: The devil knows your weakness.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he he's he came to steal, kill, and destroy.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what he will do if you give him, I hear you say this all the time.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you give the devil a foothold, he will he will work his way into your life.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and that is so true.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_00: You can't, and it goes all the way to the music you listen to.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_00: What do you what garbage do you do you allow into your mind, in your heart, into your home?
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that kind of stuff.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_00: It all I mean in every aspect of your life, he will get in if you let him and to just destroy it.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta know your enemy.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_01: It comes down to that, doesn't it?
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: That that's huge.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh what what else do you want to talk about?
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: What's on your mind?
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_01: What what's God showing you right now?
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh oh gosh.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um let's talk about um I want to talk about you.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_00: What do you see as far as um of course uh I know you're you're big in the the uh the the brotherhood movement here at the church and what what kind of stuff do you see as far as um the men's groups?
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what what's our what's our outlook look like?
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: As far as like what we're trying to accomplish with it, is that what you mean?
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think that um we're trying to give men options that that fit in with their schedule.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we've got groups that meet on Tuesday night, Wednesday night.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um I lead one in my home on Thursday mornings, there's one on Saturday morning, um, and I'm missing one.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, so the point is that that I know not men have different schedules, right?
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and like I have a mostly day job or somebody might be at an office Monday to Friday, eight to five.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's not your schedule.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: Your schedule's completely different than that.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: So so what can be done there?
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: What are some of the things that we can offer?
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're trying to do.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're also trying to get where men are.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you know, if that's in a home, one one men's group meets at Bob Evans on a Saturday morning.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you you get some sausage, biscuits, and gravy along with some Bible.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's a pretty good time, right?
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, you know, there's that.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just trying to tell men wherever they go, whatever they're doing, make that a group.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a couple of guys in our church that that love to work out and they get together at an ungodly hour at like 5 a.m.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and go to the gym.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now they do that before they're going to work, but those guys will go out in the parking lot and pray with each other before their day starts.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's is that a Bible study?
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a group where men are growing in their faith?
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because when life gets hard for one of those guys, who do you think they're gonna call?
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_01: They already have those people in their life, those mentors, those brothers that are coming alongside them.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're after.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that's relationships that I was talking about earlier.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's you want to have those godly men in your life for those hard times.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's not a question of if life is gonna get hard, it's when.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, Jesus said in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I've overcome the world.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: So you're going to have trouble, you're gonna have stress.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you do about that?
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_01: Who do you go to about that?
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_01: And and who are you talking to?
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's where we talked about already these themes of having a relationship with God that you're spending time with daily and talking with your wife, and then having some other men.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_01: And if you've got those three things, it's almost like a three-legged stool, right?
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: If you need each of those, and if one of those isn't steady or strong, the others are are gonna fall.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I think if your day starts with spending time with God, then then you have some quality time with your wife, and um then some time with brothers, that that's a good day.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_01: It is right there.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um now I left out the hunting and fishing part that you enjoy, and uh, but you know, there's just all of those things come into play.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: And when we talk about a man that is in danger of being tempted to fail in some way, to commit adultery or leave his family or mess up at his job or do something illegal, um, that almost always comes from isolating themselves.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've got to get around other men that are gonna help me in that regard.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I I just came from just before we recorded, I have a pastor group that I meet with on Wednesdays, and and we get together pretty much without fail, unless our schedule just messes up.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, one guy left Florida and moved to Indiana to pastor.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: So he joins us by FaceTime.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Goodness.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why you'd want to make that move.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_01: He said he did it to, you know, to get closer to family.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_01: And okay, um, I'm like, what about us?
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're down here.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: But he still joins us and we talk, and these guys know everything about me, and I know everything about them, but we're there for each other.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, man, even today was just like where we were just really being open and raw and honest with each other about where we're at in our lives and in our walk with Jesus.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: And when you get some guys around like that, yeah, um, it it's really the key there.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why I always want to look for godly men to bring on here, like yourself, because I I think that there's power in the story and how God has used you and how he's working in you and and what some of the directions are and the decisions you've made over the the long haul.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um that's gonna help somebody who's just starting out and uh who's just thinking, well, how do I start that life of faith?
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Sonny's already told you that, and you do it over and over and over and over every day.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_01: And when we do that, that consistency is how you become the kind of man that I see sitting across from me too.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know, there's gonna be days in your walk and even now where you're not gonna feel like it.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not like we can get up every morning with the birds and the butterflies and uh and everything's perfect, and there's gonna be days that that you just don't feel like it.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, you you have to make that decision that uh that we're gonna do it anyway.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_00: And uh we're gonna do it anyway.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, earlier you were talking about when when you and Lana got together and um and you kind of got your own Brady Bunch thing going on there and kind of and uh me and Tish kind of without the housekeeper, yeah.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right, and uh with the kids and and uh we let's talk about that a little bit about the you know the difficulties that that maybe you have faced when um with with your kids.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_00: It it because I tell you, I I uh when me and Tish got together, she was previously married uh for years, and um she had three kids.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I was you know, we didn't have any kids, but she had three kids.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I became an instant stepdad.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I tell you what, I I I I love handling Lindy Caleb like they're my own.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I claim them as my own.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Sam.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it was for me, it was a very tough and not that they made it tough, but you're dealing with exes, and you're dealing, it's a little different with you, uh, but you're dealing with exes and not just exes, but ex-family members.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and it was, you know, it was just very, very tough at the time.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um what about you?
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: Was it Yeah, I I think a lot of those things are what you said is true.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just recorded with Hallie and Griffin and Collins.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_01: We just released that episode um a few weeks ago, and um it was it was a great time with them, and I work really hard to have a good relationship with them.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_01: I know, and they know I'm not ever gonna try to be their dad.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_01: I can't be.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but I can be a a father figure to them, and that's my goal every day.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't use the the stepkid versus regular kid titles in our house, and we never have.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but one of the things that Lynn and I will do regularly, and it's kind of become this funny saying, at first we did it, we sold our house last year and we built a new one, and that house was on the market six months, and I know God told us to do it, and there were days I'm I'm going, I I don't there's nobody pulling up the driveway here to look at this house, you know.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: And and he did, he did it right in his timing, and it was perfect, and all these things.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: But one of the things we would say to each other, she started it, I don't know where she came up with it, but it's I think words to live by.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_01: She would say, You are not my enemy.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_01: And and we kind of just say that to uh each other every now and then when life gets stressful and it does, I want at the end of the day, and so does she, when we lay our heads down on the pillow and and say to each other before we close our eyes, we're not each other's enemy.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm for you.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, the two of us are becoming one, and we're gonna do that the rest of our lives.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I can recognize that in the decision making that we have to do on a daily basis, how I'm handling things, how she's handling things, um, you know, then that that certainly helps.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: It helps me know that she's for me and I'm for her, and I want the best for her.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, even when she makes me go to the gym at seven o'clock at night, like she did last night.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_01: But um I think that that's something I would say that that we have really focused on.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I fell in love with her.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I knew that she had three kids, and she knew I had three kids.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_01: And uh we do have a Brady Bunch situation, and um now it's where only one of them lives with us.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, and she's 15, so she'll be with us a few more years.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_01: But we work to have good relationships with all six kids.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, it it's important to do that.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, the most important relationship in my life is my relationship with Jesus.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_01: But my second one, and it's a close second, is my marriage with Lana.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think that just realizing um this lady is somebody that God put in my life um at a very lonely time and brought us together, and we have worked to to build a friendship.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know what, in three years, Collins goes to college, and then we're empty nesters.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so then it's just Mike and Lana.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so what is our relationship gonna be like then?
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_01: We're not hauling kids to to practice then and and all these things.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be grandkids, you know, but that's a different story.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_01: But but the point is that we don't look at each other as as being an enemy.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I look at someone that's in this fight with me, and that makes a difference.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you gotta have that.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I would say.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta have that.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh what struggles, and I'm gonna answer my own question here.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there ain't no pain like kid pain.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, 100%.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_00: I hear I hear Joe B.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_00: Martin say that all the time.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um struggles that come to mind that you and Lana have been through, maybe it was before.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, yeah.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've watched our kids go through um lots of things.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's been addiction, there's been um pain, there's been grief because they both all of our kids have lost a parent.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and there's been uh and that there's been grief and there's been delayed grief, you know.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_01: And there's been um one of our kids is getting married in a few months and uh his dad isn't gonna be there.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: But that that's that's painful.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_01: But what can I do to stand in the gap there and walk through that with them?
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's some of those things.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_01: And um we've also, at the advice of a counselor, we went through premarital counseling and she said, Look, Mike, if there's something that needs to be done with your kids discipline wise, you do it.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_01: If there's something that Lana's kids need done, she does it.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_01: If there's a conflict between the two of them, you sit down with both of them and help them work it out.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that has been some of the best advice we ever got from that counselor.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really helped us.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um there's so many other things, like that could be a whole other episode.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_01: Episode, I think, but uh and someday I'll have Lana on and we'll talk about some of those things we've seen and experienced.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_01: But we look back, we've been together 10 years, we've been married almost nine.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um hard to believe, right?
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it is but God has done a lot of great things, He's brought us through a lot of really tough times, but each of them, we've emerged from them stronger in our faith and closer to each other.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it really starts with with our individual walks and understanding that he brought us together to help each other.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's one of the things that we've always tried to focus on.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is there is there any advice that you would give maybe parents today that are going through prodigal children?
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you spoke about addiction earlier.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_00: And um what advice would you give them when when the enemy is whispering in their ear?
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, God doesn't care because look, he obviously he's not doing anything.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_01: I uh Luke chapter 15 obviously is that familiar story of the prodigal song, right?
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_01: Just today I was getting ready and there was a song that came on that's kind of uh tells that story.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_01: And and there's this phrase in there, um, when the father saw him a long way off, he ran to him.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: Ran to me.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: I yeah, I know that's kind of the song I was listening to when he ran when God ran.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_01: And uh so it it tells me, at least as a dad, uh that I can picture him standing on the porch and seeing me a long way off.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_01: And you pray for that moment so often.
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_01: Will will my son or my daughter make this decision to turn their lives back to God?
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it'd be great if we could just know ahead of time it's gonna take six years and 38 days.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'll circle that date on the calendar and I'm ready to celebrate that day.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know that.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's up to that child to determine that and decide that they're gonna come back.
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, what am I gonna do as a dad?
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna keep loving them, I'm gonna keep reaching out to them.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, even when the other line is silent, I'm not getting texts, I'm not getting phone calls back, I'm gonna make the effort to go where they are.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna reach out to them.
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm gonna do everything I possibly can to be available.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_01: And on those days when I'm not hearing anything back, I'm gonna keep looking down that road because I believe without a doubt that the Spirit of God is speaking to them.
• 1:08:31
  SPEAKER_01: And no matter where they're at, what they're doing, or who they're doing it with, God can still break through in that moment.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:08:38
  SPEAKER_01: And someday I'm I'm hoping and holding on to the hope that they're gonna come down that road.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's and you said a couple things there that that I loved.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: First, first thing was the the love that you're gonna keep loving them because and it's so true because I right now we are dealing with a prodigal with one of our children, and um forever.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_00: It it seems like forever, even though it's only been a few years, it seems like eternity.
• 1:09:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um I kept trying to fix it myself.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we spoke earlier about about when I was doing the police stuff and the SWAT stuff, and and you know, I don't feel like I was a very good father at that time where I you know, my temper or um, you know, just not being there.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, now that I've seen that, you know, hindsight, you know, I I just feel like God spoke to me and said, Listen, let me handle this.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I, you know, cry out to God and say, Well, God, what do you want me to do?
• 1:09:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what what do you want me to do?
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_00: Just to sit here and and allow it to happen.
• 1:09:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and God's gonna be like, Yeah, he just told you.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I want you to and and I want you to love.
• 1:09:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to love him as much as you can.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to be there.
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you and that's the same thing you said.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Show him love, show him that you care for him, and let me work this out.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um and and like you, I uh matter of fact, I was out mowing the other day and uh got to thinking about this, you know, and when I was on the on the mower and uh and I it came to mind about the day, you know, God kind of gave me a vision of uh what that's gonna be like one day when when uh he comes back.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And when I see him coming down the road, you know, and how how good it's gonna be, what a good feeling.
• 1:10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm out there on the mower like crying.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah and uh and uh I'm thinking, well, I'll really look stupid out here crying, mowing the yard, you know, but hopefully it'll look like sweat.
• 1:10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody nobody picked up on him.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_00: But but no, I tell you, it is a uh if anything, we're I know we're gonna look back on it and see a victory.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um and how God God did it.
• 1:11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, but no, just uh all we can do is love and be there.
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we can do.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And let God do what he does best.
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And love is active.
• 1:11:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's something I do all the time.
• 1:11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I don't get to pick and choose that.
• 1:11:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's a Tuesday.
• 1:11:20
  SPEAKER_01: So am I going to love my child?
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna love my spouse?
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna know I I'm called to this no matter what.
• 1:11:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it it looks different in different settings.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it sometimes kids are easier to love.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sometimes this kid's easier to love than that one or these situations, but um God put you here in their life, and he's going to that's right, and he's gonna equip you um to do this.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't I don't know how am I gonna love them?
• 1:11:53
  SPEAKER_01: How am I gonna overlook what they've done?
• 1:11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the same way he did when he looks at us, you know, um he could have given up on me a long time ago, should have, yeah, um, with the things I've done, but he never did.
• 1:12:08
  SPEAKER_01: And and first Corinthians 13 has this phrase that love keeps no record of wrongs.
• 1:12:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, and it starts with us understanding that love is patient.
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_01: You almost have to like act out that word when you say it, it's patient.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 1:12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I can't say love is patient.
• 1:12:26
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't work that way.
• 1:12:27
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've got to think about okay, how do I do that?
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_01: How do I find those opportunities to break through and just spend some time with them?
• 1:12:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I can't pick and choose quality time.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_01: I heard somebody say this, but I can choose quantity time.
• 1:12:43
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden those quantity moments become a quality moment because they let you in.
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:12:49
  SPEAKER_01: And they let you in because you've over and over continue to love and not give up on them.
• 1:12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what I would say.
• 1:12:56
  SPEAKER_01: So keep doing that.
• 1:12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and anybody that's listening, you got one of those prodigals, man, we know what that's like.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're not alone.
• 1:13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Reach out.
• 1:13:05
  SPEAKER_01: We would love to talk to you.
• 1:13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, anything else before we wind up?
• 1:13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, just kind of what you just said was it kind of it it might, and it I know for me, it is taking like what you just said, the patience and and knowing that you might need to hear from somebody else.
• 1:13:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, listen, um you just need to relax and let God do what he's doing and in his time.
• 1:13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's in God's time, it's not in our time.
• 1:13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so uh absolutely but good stuff, man.
• 1:13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing comes to mind.
• 1:13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right.
• 1:13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thanks again for me.
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's been great.
• 1:13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know, I've never had a guest on that started interviewing me, so I love it.
• 1:13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, those are good questions, though.
• 1:13:44
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you doing that.
• 1:13:46
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I I love you, man, and I'm I love spending time with you and talking with you.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_01: And um that date for that striper show is October 20th.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_02: October 20th.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_01: I could celebrate my mom's birthday by going, she would appreciate that.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about that.
• 1:14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you talk with your wife, I'll talk with mine, and who knows maybe we'll make that trip.
• 1:14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Some earplugs, and my tissue will be happy.
• 1:14:06
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 1:14:07
  SPEAKER_01: So um it I mean, Lena's not gonna go with me.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_01: So if that's what this isn't gonna be a double date.
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we'll put them together and she hates my music.
• 1:14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she loves me, but hates my music.
• 1:14:17
  SPEAKER_01: So they could go and do something, maybe.
• 1:14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, she must know I'm talking about her.
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_01: She just texted me.
• 1:14:22
  SPEAKER_01: So but let's look at that as a possibility.
• 1:14:24
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but thanks so much for joining me on this, man.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_01: This has been great.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Sonny Emery is a is a godly man, um, doesn't have it all figured out, and and you don't have to to be a godly man, you just need to figure out enough to know that you need God in your life to lead you.
• 1:14:41
  SPEAKER_01: And when you do that, great things happen, as you've heard his story today.
• 1:14:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to just again thanks so much for coming on.
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for joining us today for this latest episode of Miking Disciples.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you have any comments or questions, I would love to get for you to go to the comments or questions link that's found in the description of the episode.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I really would love to hear your thoughts.
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for joining us today.
• 1:15:06
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk to you later.