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Which is Worse? The Male Or Female Narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So who's worse, a male narcissist or a female
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  narcissist? That's the question of the day,
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  isn't it? Like who do you think?
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  Who do you think? The woman who has narcissistic
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  traits or narcissistic personality disorder or the man
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  that has those same exact traits?
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  That's what we talk about today, y'all.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. I went with another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. Boom.
• 0:42
  Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:43
  Yeah, y'all who who like a look. I sound like a little
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  narcissistic owl. Don't know who, who, who, who is
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  more narcissistic or who like who's harder to deal with, which
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  is worse, who is worse? Because a lot of people this,
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  this question is going to come up on this.
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  A lot of people face this question.
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  A lot of people want to know the answer to this question.
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  And me as a male narcissist, I got to say, look, I've dealt
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  with people, look, I've dealt with women that are narcissists.
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  I've dealt with the female narcissist as well, right?
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  And if y'all, if y'all hear me saying female, I'm not trying to
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  use it like the red pill podcast, misogynistic folks.
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  I'm just using her to describe the the narcissistic woman,
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  right? I'm not talking about a female
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  narcissistic animal. I'm talking about the female
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  narcissist because I know how some people out here who just
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  they just get way ahead of themselves and do a whole bunch
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  of weirdo ass stuff. And that's not me.
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  That's not what this channel's about.
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  This channel's try to be. I try to be all inclusive over
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  the narcissistic person, right? So online there are a lot of to
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  me, I got to say it really just depends, right, because female
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  narcissists can't absolutely be terrible human beings.
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  Male narcissist as well. But what you what I see online,
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  though, is the consensus, not the consensus, but I've seen
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  online. I did look.
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  I actually did some research for this right here.
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  I was like going through comment sections.
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  I was going through Reddit and Cora Cora the Q word qu Quora
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  went to this site as well and a lot of people say the same thing
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  like covert narcissists are the worst, right?
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  Covert narcissists are the worst because they're they're harder
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  to predict. They're harder to determine
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  who's a covert narcissist and who isn't.
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  And female narcissists tend to be more covert.
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  So I'm not, I'm not saying that the woman who's a narcissist or
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  the female narcissist is worse or harder to deal with.
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  I'm just saying covert narcissist as a whole are
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  tougher to deal with, right? Covert narcissistic people as a
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  whole are extremely tough to deal with because their
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  manipulation and their abuse can be so subtle and so secret.
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  Like that's the point of being covert.
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  You want the abuse to be secret. You want everything to be a
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  secret. You want everything to be
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  hidden. So it makes sense in these
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  spaces right here when you're dealing with a narcissistic
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  person, toxic person, whoever that covert narcissists are the
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  worst and women tend to be more covert.
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  Now, I'm not saying that like you get the male covert
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  narcissist who is also a horrible ass human being.
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  You know, they can be abusive, they can be toxic as hell, they
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  can be manipulative, they can be they they can do everything a
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  female narcissist can do right. But I think a lot of times what
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  ends up happening with female narcissist is they go
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  undetected, right? Because they the female
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  narcissist, the female BPD, the female personality, the female
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  personality, the female abuser, the woman abuser, right?
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  Literally can play the victim. They really, they really, really
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  can. And because women are the, the,
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  the overwhelming majority of domestic violence cases and
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  things like that are the victims are women, the female
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  narcissistic manipulator abuser takes full advantage of that,
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  right? They take full, like they take
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  full advantage of it, right? And they use it to, and they use
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  it. They do, they really do use it.
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  They use it to their advantage. They use it to benefit
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  themselves and they will continue, continue to do that.
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  Why would they stop? You know, if it works, why would
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  they stop? You know the male narcissist
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  will do the exact same thing, right?
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  The the quiet nerdy type male narcissist, covert narcissist
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  will do the same thing. They're passive aggressive.
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  You know, malignant. I'm not like this is not me.
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  I'm trying to diminish malignant or overt narcissist, right?
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  Because those human beings can be, can be God awful as well,
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  right? What I'm doing, it's telling you
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  that a lot of times you it's not hard to a lot of times it's not
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  difficult to spot out the malignant narcissist, right,
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  because they be loud, they be annoying, they be boisterous.
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  They have a lot of stuff go a lot of stuff going on.
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  Well, they just, they're just outlandish.
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  They a lot of times they get loud as hell, they're doing a
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  lot of loud weirdo ass stuff. So it makes sense right there,
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  right when you're dealing with this type of person.
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  So the malignant narcissist is not hard to spot.
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  He was like you, you being a crowded like, yeah, that's the
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  malignant one right there, 'cause they loud.
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  I had a one of my old friends, super malignant narcissist.
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  Everybody knew he was a narcissist.
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  Like he wasn't trying to hide it.
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  He needed the best of everything, was loud as hell,
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  was aggressive, was a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, you
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  know, abuse, domestic violence. He was like, he literally had
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  lost his mind, like, and nobody was surprised, like, oh, he's in
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  jail. Oh, OK, people would go about
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  their day because it wasn't something that was shocking to
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  everybody, right. So you knew who you was abuser
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  and they still, like I said that that doesn't, I'm not trying to
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  invalidate the victims of malignant or or overt
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  narcissist. It's just a lot of people will
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  just tell you they're covert narcissist because you they're
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  harder to to detect and a lot of people don't believe you when
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  you're dealing with this person. It's it can be tougher to deal
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  with because the the covert narcissist, this is like you
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  tell somebody else about your abuse that you've experienced,
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  right? And they'll be like, well, they
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  didn't do that to me. Well, they didn't treat me that
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  way. Well, what did you do to them?
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  Right? The covert narcissist.
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  See, this is what you get from that right there.
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  So female narcissist, like I said, it can be horrible, right?
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  And yeah, I've experienced female narcissist.
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  So it might sound like I got a little bias here a little y'all
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  might believe you sound biased as hell, Lee.
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  You sound extremely biased right now.
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  You sound like you, you know, you, you only you picking with.
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  No, no, no. I've dealt with female
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  narcissist, but I see male narcissist as well.
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  Yeah, yeah. The worst narcissist is the one
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  that you have to deal with. Let's say it like that.
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  The worst, the worst narcissist is the one that you have to deal
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  with. Those are going to be the worst
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  right there. Anyone that you have to deal
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  with is going to be worse. And this is like I said again,
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  so many people are facing narcissistic abuse, facing toxic
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  relationship dynamics, facing toxic manipulative people.
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  So y'all understand what you're going through.
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  You survived it, you thrive through it, right?
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  You're on a, you're on a healing journey, you're on the healing
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  part of it. You're on the the side of
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  healing right now, right? So as you continue to move
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  forward, this is what's going to happen for you, right?
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  I feel like so many people, especially your situation, like
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  don't compare and contrast, right?
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  Because you don't like comparison.
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  Compare and contrasting helps nobody out, right?
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  Because I'll post a video on my other channel if y'all don't
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  know. I haven't.
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  I have a reaction channel, right?
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  It's called Lee dot actions, Lee period actions, right?
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  And I post stuff over there and people will almost always
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  compare and contrast some of the reaction videos.
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  Like I posted a video of a woman getting yelled and screamed at,
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  right? And people commented like, this
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  is nothing compared to what I got.
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  I'm like, how does they, how does they help anybody else out,
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  right? This doesn't help anybody else
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  out. So comparing and contrasting can
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  actually be, can actually diminish your own struggle and
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  diminish other people and make other people feel invalidated.
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  Well, I guess I, I really don't have anything to complain about
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  because you said it, right? You see how that works?
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  You see the mental space that it falls into right there.
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  So you have to protect yourself in these situations, right?
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  But female narcissist can be horrible.
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  They like they do stuff with kids.
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  They do they, you know, they play the victim.
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  They can get you arrested, they can get you arrested.
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  And this is not just female to male like in the LGBTQIA
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  community. I hope I said that, right?
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  Y'all the women, women, the women, women loving women,
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  They'd be abusive as hell too. They'd be abusive like you.
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  How many people I've talked to that are in female to female
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  relationships and be like, yeah, she'd be beating my ass and
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  nobody believes me. I was like, oh goodness, he's
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  covert, you know. But the male narcissist
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  typically, 'cause they, the power structure, the patriarchy,
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  all that other stuff, they can be horrible to you as well.
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  Because if they're kind generous to everybody else, if they're
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  sweet to everybody else, if they're a firefighter or a
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  police officer or the pastor at the church or religious leader
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  or, you know, presidents, senators, congressmen, any
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  position of power, CE OS running apps, whatever it is, right?
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  Any position of power, they can, they have a power dynamic over
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  you where they can use money and systems of abuse to manipulate
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  you and hurt you as well, right? If this is your boss, whoever it
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  is. So it really the worst
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  narcissist is absolutely the one that you have to deal with, the
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  one that you have to face. And like I said, that's why I
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  try not to invalidate people. And just like males are worse,
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  females are worse. I don't want to make y'all feel
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  invalidated because they both Dave, y'all, both of them can
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  have horrible, you can have a horrible experiences with both
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  of them. Like I've had horrible
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  experiences with female narcissists dating them, right?
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  But I've also had horrible experiences with male
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  narcissists being my friends and my business partners.
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  So like I said, I'm not exempt, but I also say this about female
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  narcissists. You know, one of the main
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  problems that I do here, not problems.
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  One of the main issues that I do here a lot is people would say
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  my mom is a narcissist. My mom was a narcissist.
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  I hear that a lot. My mom was a narcissist.
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  So you have a female narcissistic parent of a female
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  narcissistic mom. You, you get it from the very
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  beginning and they be so covert. Y'all, the narcissistic moms be
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  so covert. The narcissistic dads, they be
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  covert too. They be abandoning and doing.
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  They be dipping out so but the male narcissist y'all, I just
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  feel like it really just depends on who you're dealing with
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  because narcissists all around can be toxic.
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  They can be horrible ass people. They can be abusive ass people.
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  They can be manipulative. They can, you know, convince you
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  otherwise. Like they can abuse the kids.
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  They can just use money against you.
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  They can manipulate you with money.
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  Like I said it just what do you think?
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  I'm gonna lead this. I'm gonna open it up to the
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  court. I'm gonna open this up to the
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  comment section, right? What do you think?
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  Who do you think is the worst narcissist females or males?
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  And again, y'all respond to other people's comments, but
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  don't try to diminish what other people have experienced.
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  Mentor y'all. Anyway, Joe, I do have to hop
• 10:59
  over here. I have a Zoom call I have to hop
• 11:01
  on right now. If I look at it right here, all
• 11:04
  everything about me is available at mentalillness.net.
• 11:07
  Make sure you to join the newsletter and I'm out.
• 11:08
  Peace. Before you go, make sure that
• 11:11
  you hit that subscribe button if you haven't already.
• 11:13
  Y'all you already here just hit the button.
• 11:16
  Also you can find my coaching, my courses, my one on ones,
• 11:18
  everything is available at my website, mentalillness.net, kids
• 11:22
  book, self love journal. Also check out joining the
• 11:24
  channel memberships as well. Y'all thank you so much for
• 11:27
  being here. I'm super grateful I'm out.
• 11:29
  Peace.