Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Condor Poo, Doughy Pie & Creme Fill

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The Fifth Hour: Condor Poo, Doughy Pie & Creme Fill · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kutbooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with meet Ben
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Maller and Danny g Radio, and a happy Saturday to
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: you as we are hanging out on this nineteenth day
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: of April, the beginning of the n b A Playoffs.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Enough of that nonsense that we had this week. With
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: the play in, it begins the never ending journey. I
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: think the NBA playoffs go on, Danny, by my math,
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: five months of.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: NBA playoff basketball.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: But it all begins later today, and they've got they've
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: packed all the games in today and tomorrow, and then
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: after after Sunday, then after Easter Sunday. It's like to
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: a night but very busy, very the fantastic four both
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: days here. I think there's four games today, four games tomorrow,
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: so they're packing them all in to begin the playoffs.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: You mean you weren't salivating on those Wednesday games?
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, I mean most of the Yeah, it was
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: not not a great week.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: But the Clippers begin the road to the championship. But
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: today with the Denver Nuggets. So that's obviously the game
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: that I've circled. You can watch the other game, Danny,
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: let me know how the other games turn out.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: It is also wait, what did what did you call?
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: The Clippers run again? Oh, we know.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Where they're going.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: You know they're gonna chuck the condor is going to
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: lead them to the Promised Land.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: It's going to happen. I'm a fun guy. He's a
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: very fun guy, and the Clipper is the hottest team
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: in basketball. And you told me that you fought back.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: You said, oh, you know there's a momentum exists. Well, okay,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: momentum exists, then here we gom exist. The Clippers are
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: going to continue on. I was the guy said momentum
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: didn't exist. But you all told me that momentum exists.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: So if there's momentum, the Clippers are going all the way.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: They're on their way that it can't be stopped. Now
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I must mention, Today's a very important day. I know
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: it's the Easter weekend, there's a lot of stuff going on,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: but today is National Garlic Day.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: And for someone that worships garlic.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Much like the Egyptians back in the day that you know,
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: there's a phrase you're worth your weight in gold, right
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: because gold was the currency, but really you're worth your
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: weight in garlic. That's where it's at, right. I mean,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: we've we've done this, We've done the podcast long enough.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: We do this every year for National Garlic Today, so
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: we know all the fun facts about garlic. We know
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: the history of it, that it was is nature's antibiotic
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: and the garlicy.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Foods are the most delicious foods.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: And that Greek athletes back in the day gave strength
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: or they got strength from garlic. Vampires hated Dracula and
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: the whole I mean, it's just a wonderful thing. And
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: it goes all the way back to like three thousand
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: BC Babylon times, and just the craziness the history of
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: history of garlic. And there were kings that were.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Preserved with well preserved garlic clothes.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Were presented to the tomb of kings as a gift
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: and medicine. In the sixteen hundreds the Middle Ages, they
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: were talking about the medical and the medical people at
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: the time said it was a miracle cure.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: And then go on.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: I could sit here and just do the whole podcast
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: about garlic. If you want, Danny, I could school, I
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: can wax poetic. I could do thirty minutes on what
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: I'd rather have raw garlic or roasted garlic. What about
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: garlic fries? How about garlic butter? Have you head garlic ipasta?
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: How about garlic chicken? Of course garlic bread.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: You can't go wrong. You cannot go wrong.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: Accept our ratings, those would go wrong.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I dare you.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I have garlic fun facts. The twenty four percent of
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Americans think garlic makes everything taste better. The only sad
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: part about that it's not higher. It should be more
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: than twenty four percent. Bad job by them and of Americans.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Let me ask you this standy of Americans. What percentage
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: of Americans say garlic bread doesn't bother them?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: What do you think, ooh, does not.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Bother does not bother them? I'm gonna say thirty five percent.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I wish it was that high. It's actually only twelve percent.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: Oh what a bunch of losers. Come on, yeah, come on,
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: what to what you do is you have some garlic
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: toast as well, and then when you're kissing, there's no
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: big deal because you both taste like garlic.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, listen, embrace the garlic. Embrace the garlic y goodness.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: That's what I say for sure.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: And there was some other, and there's a bunch of these.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: We love the dopey holidays.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: We do the dope. We're all about the dope holidays.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: It's husband Appreciation day to day. So I'm sure we'll
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: be celebrated Danny unless we're not.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: That one somehow is gonna be swept under the rug.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not gonna get a lot of attention. A
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: National hanging Out day to day.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Now you probably think this is just going out with
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: your pals and hanging out and all that stuff. But no, today,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: a National Hanging Out Day is a day to celebrate
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: hanging clothes on a clothes line.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: And that's that's the that's the day right there. This
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: is what this is. Stupid holiday, dumb.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: They're all stupid. They are all stupid.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Well, not the garlic one.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: The garlic one was all right, you know, the gardley
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: that's fine, the garlic one's fine. So on this podcast
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: we have is something missing spring break where the Easter
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: egg hunt and a word all the week, but we
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: begin with this.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: So during the.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Work during the week doing the radio show and the podcast,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I don't do a lot of outside stuff, but every
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: once in a while I would do a rare and appropriate,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: rare and appropriate appearance. So I was contacted through the
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: multiverse by a producer, a radio producer in New Zealand,
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: and they said, hey, this NBA season came to an end,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: we would love to have you come on.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I used to do a weekly.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Paid paid appearance by the way paid appearance and on
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: a radio.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: New Zealand the network went out of business.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: That used to go on what kind of money did
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: they pay you with? Because they have a different currency, right.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: The thing was I got paid in their currency and
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: then they would transfer it, so at some points I
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: got paid more than others. It was never the same,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: depending on the split between New Zealand and the US currency.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: So it it was.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I would bill a very nice woman in accounting. I
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: would bill her every so often. They didn't really need
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: me to build them every week. I could build them whenever.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: So what I tried to do, Danny, I think you
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: know where I'm going with this. I kept an eye
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: on the currency.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: I knew it. I knew it, and.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I was I was trying to find I was in
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: bold and I was like, all right, I'm gonna I'm
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: gonna nail it. I'm gonna find the time where I'm
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: getting the most for my money. Trot exactly exactly, because
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: it was it was a fair amount of money that
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: was different. If the currency split was obviously in favor
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: of the US, then I was getting a lot less
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: than my rate. And you know, it was never really
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: in favor of New Zealand as I remember it, but
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: it was close. There were some points where it was
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: pretty close. So but anyway, they reached out to me.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: One of the producers reached out to me and said, hey,
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: you know, the boys want to talk some NBA, and
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: so I said, okay, And then they wanted me to
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: do it at a time that I'm normally very frazzled.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: I'm still sleeping, but that was like the only time
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: they could do it. So I was like, all right,
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: I'll fore go sleep. From one day, why not? And
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: these people want to talk to me, so whatever. So
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: I was like, I know what i'd do. I'm gonna
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: I'm going to drive to the gym and then I'll
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: park the car in front and I'll just do the
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: thing from the car and then I'll go I'll go
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: to the gym. So I'm in the car driving, and
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: they of course call me like three minutes earlier than
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: they're supposed to call me, right, they call me early.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, ah, whatever, I answered, and so I'm
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: doing it and they're like hey.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, do you want me to when
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I stop somewhere and I'll turn the car off. No,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I'll just do it. It doesn't matter. We just we need
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: you right now. So I was like, all right, whatever.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: So I start throwing out my normal stick and throwing
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: in some big.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Words and all that stuff, and then you know, I'm
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: doing my thing.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm driving still, So I ended up getting to
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: the gym and I there was some traffic that.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: We're doing some construction on the road near the gym.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: So I got to the gym and I was like,
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: well I should park. So then I of course as
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: we as us met and do, Danny, I backed into
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: the space. And as I am telling some tale about
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know, Nikola Jokic or.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Somebody, well, you think you're better than me because you're
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: backed into the parking space.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: And that's what a professional iver does, they back in.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: So anyway, I back in, and of course I didn't
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: realize because I was on the phone connected to the car.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Everyone in New Zealand heard that beep beep, beep beep.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: You know the sound, you know, the thing your car
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: makes whatever, So it was it became quite amusing. But
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: then I realized it is something missing because I did
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: about a fifteen minute segment.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: They get their bank a lot to talk about bang
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: for your buck.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: It's like fifteen minutes of interrogation about the NBA and
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: the playoffs and the regular season. We went through everything,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: and then I realized that I was getting near the
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: end of it. And then when I finally hung up
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: and I was like, all right, I did the kind
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: of inventory of the segment, and I was like, is
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: something is something missing? And yeah, these guys did fifteen
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: minutes of NBA hot talk and nobody, nobody, neither one
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: of the hosts mentioned Lebron James or Luca.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: They did not ask me a about either.
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: One of them.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Wow. I was like, that's unbelievable. And I was like,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: that's shocking. They talked about the Celtics.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: They're talking about like every other storyline you could possibly imagine,
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Golden State and I'm trying to think of it. There's
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: a bunch of stuff, but it wasn't Lebron or Luca
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: was like, oh me, It's like, I can go do
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: New Zealand. I don't have to be infiltrated with lebron propaganda.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: And uh, did you buy you? By the way, dandy,
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: did you get your Ken doll? Did you get your
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: lebron Ken doll? Did you buy that?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Huh? You get one?
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: Uh? What do you think?
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: No, what does that say about the you talk about
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: guys and dolls?
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: What does that say about the American zeitgeist?
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: They sold out of those things. People were online.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: People were waiting online for hours to get a Lebron
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Barbie doll.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: Well, look a look at memory, look at especially sports
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: memorabilia in our country. I mean people were waiting in
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: line for what was it eight hours for the show
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Hey Bobbleheads, and then the Dodgers put out a tweet saying,
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: just kidding, everybody who attends tonight gets one ooops.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I know. Well the Dodgers at this point everything.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: They had a Hello Kiddy night the other night. The
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Dodger stated, yeah, well it wasn't like a tiny but
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: people were aligning those squishes.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, those Hello Kitty squish balls.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I don't get the squishball thing. Lorena loves the squishball thing.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I walked in for the Dan Patrick Show a
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: few mornings ago. Lorena had like thirty of those squishball
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: things all around her. I have a people in my
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: box right now. Bro.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Hello. Hey. By the way, she paid for none of those.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I want the record to show she paid for none
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: of those squishballs, Danny, not a.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Single one of them.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: They just magically dropped out of thin air, out of
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: the heavens.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: They dropped in.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: Just give me a pile of meat. Yeah, well, she
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: had a pile of squishballs, exactly.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: What is your favorite NBA playoff cliche? Danny's just the
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: playoffs are beginning today. Do you have a favorite clichet
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: from the NBA playoff?
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: It's all about matchups come playoff time, it's all about matchups.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's that's good.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I also like the it'll be a gentleman's sweep. We
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: get that a lot in the NBA. In the first
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: round of the NBA plays a lot of gentlemen sweep,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: which is four out of five.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: That's a gentleman's sweep. That's always That's always a fun one.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: Oh here's one. You hear a lot in the playoffs.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: Draymond just kicked somebody in the balls, kicked somebody that he.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Went the nutcracker. He went the nutcracker.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, all right, So moving on from that no
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: lebron talk.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: No, I did not get a lebron Kendall.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: And if everyone buys them, I'm sure is it Mattel
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: that makes the Barbie stuff?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I think it's.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Mattel, Like, we have no idea how many they made.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: It's not really a collectible if they made ten million
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: of them, right, It's only a collectible if there's a fine.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Nine amount of them.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like when I was collecting baseball cards
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: is a kid, and then everyone started collecting them and
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: then we realized I think I read a story about this, right.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I mean It was a documentary that I watched Upper Deck.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: They realized how valuable these these certain like Ken Griffy
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: Junior number one car. So people were just printing endless
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: amounts of them up because they were making money hands
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: over you know, handover fist.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was about the Ken Griffy Junior card. They
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: mass produced it so suddenly it lost all of its value.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: So if they want to, if people are buying these
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: Lebron barbies or Ken dolls or whatever, they just keep
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: making them.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: People buy them and then make a fortune. And that's
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: that man.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: We call it by its name, it's la Ken.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Ken Yes lackn. Then they can all go on spring break.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: And where would they go on spring break? Where would
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: you Where do you think the people that buy the
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: mattel that sell the dolls, where do you think they'd go.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: On spring break? Where do you think they go?
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: Well, after wasting their money on a dumb doll, they
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: probably don't have a lot of budget left over for groceries.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: So my guess is they are shopping at Costco in bulk.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: In bulk wo kids go w with Costco, the Costco brand, the.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Way to go.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: You know, I have not come around to the clothes
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: like you have. But what I do like now is
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: going around lunchtime. That way you can sample. And I'm
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: gonna ask you about that in a minute, because I'm
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: not a veteran of Costco the way you are. Usually
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: the wife goes and makes the Costco runs and I'm
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: back at home trying to hold down the wild Indian
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: aka CoA racist. But because of the schedule change in
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: how Covino and Rich and myself were on Monday Tuesday
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: Wednesday for the Great Dan Patrick, I found myself with
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: the middle of the day open as I was driving home.
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: So my wife, as a lot of us who are married,
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: you'll get a list right at the end of your workday.
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: We need this this, and we're out of this, and
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: either you have enough energy to go tackle that your
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: way home or you do it the next day. So
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: this is a Monday, about twelve noon at our Costco
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: and I pull in there is there's no parking ever
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: at this damn place. It looked like I mean, I
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: don't know, I've been there on the weekend before and
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: I thought it was Saturday.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Well, my move.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: When I go I actually do end up going on
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: the weekend a lot now because my schedule. But what
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: I do is I just plan on getting some steps in.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: So I park about as far away like I'm in
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: another county.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Like I'm literally in another county.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: And I know, going if I go on a to
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: a Costco on a Friday or not not not Friday
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: is not too bad. But on on Saturday or Sunday,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: like you know, you're parking in the next city. And
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: so I bring my walking shoes and I'm like, yeah,
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: it's a it's a nightmare. It's a I don't I
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: don't even bother why I even bother, because you end
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: up driving in circles.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: There's a million people around. It's a big pain in
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: the ass. But that's my move.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: But that's prime sample time, so you kind of have
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: to go where the crowd is because that's when they
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: have the sample.
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: People out see And I thought, you know, in my mind,
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: I'm like, it's a random Monday in April. It's not
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: gonna be overcrowded. Dead wrong. So I get inside after
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: finally finding a parking space way far out there, I
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: make the walk. I get inside and it is packed
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: in there. Not just packed with shoppers, but there were
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: lots of snot nosed kids running around. And then it
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: occurred to me, oh shit, for at least for southern California,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: it is spring break for the elementary schools right now.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: So I think the move was the moms were like,
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: shut up and get your clothes on and get in
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: the car. We're gonna go get our groceries at Costco
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: and if you're good, then I'll get you a slice
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: of pizza exactly. Yeah. So I'm in there, Ben, and
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm grabbing the things off the list, and
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: it's taken me a lot longer than it does my
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: better half, because she's a Costco pro like you, she
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: knows where everything is located. I have a general idea
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: of where the items are in cast but I'm like,
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: you know, damn it where I think I had to
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: get like chicken breast nuggets, and like, I had an
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: idea of where it was, but there was nowhere to
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: push my cart in that damn lane. There were so
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: many old people and people with kids in there, I
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: wanted to leave. The only good part was because I
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: was there at lunchtime, I saw the Costco employees getting
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: ready with their sample stations.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Oh you spot.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: That's like going to Disneyland and sitting in the mascots
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: behind the state, you know, behind them.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, it's like when you see them getting
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: ready to start a parade at Disneyland. Yeah they go, yes,
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: And you know how the people attending Disneyland that day,
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: they start sitting on the curbs and swarming the area
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: where the parade the parade route. Well, that's what this
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: was like. Because I wasn't the only one who spotted
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: one to oh there's a third sample station. There's a fourth,
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: not two, not three, counted four in my general area.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: And they had like the little toaster oven things where
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: they were getting the little samples heated up and ready
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: to go in the little cups. There were people like vultures.
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: They were hanging around trying to mooch and get their
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: moocha on first and fast. I have never fought that
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: many carts and that many people for a little cup
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: of what turned out to be like two cheese chips.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: What a flip and ripoff? Now, if you're gonna give
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: me a sample? And I waited around for it, and
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: I fought through three carts and two rude people, and
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: I was getting dirty looks by people who had parked
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: their first waiting for the samples and nothing was being
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: handed out. Yet I finally get one of the cups.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: I was like third or fourth in line, and it
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: literally was two little cheese chips in a cup. Now,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: But I get to the fourth station and they were
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: handing out crackers with like chicken spread on there, like
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: you know when you do the chicken in the mayonnaise.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: With the Yeah, she had chicken or something like that.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Yet I got you here.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I want my chicken on these multi grain crackers,
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: and they sold me. It's the first time ever where
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: I bought something because I had it as a sample
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: at Costco Little Taste, they suckered me in. I bought
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: the ten dollars box of crackers. I get in line,
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: and you know, like I said, I'm not a pro
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: like you are at Costco. So when the lady asked
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: for my Costco card, I showed her the wrong side.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: I guess any way, they don't want yeah, because they're
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: trying to scan the code on your card. So the
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: checker gives me a dirty look. Sorry, I turned the
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: card around and she had attitude from the start before
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: I walk over to get my slice of pizza, like
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: the little snunt nosed kids. I'm like, I deserve this
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: after what I just went through. They didn't even ask me,
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: now do you I wanted to ask you this. Do
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: you have to ask for a box or boxes?
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: I usually do self checkout, so they usually have them
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: around self checkout. You can uh. Sometimes I'll say do
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: you want a box? Usually if you depends on how
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: much stuff you have, they'll be, hey, do you need
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: a box or something like that?
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: Right, they don't ask you. Well, no, and I had
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: I had quite a lot of produce and I wanted
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: to shove this stuff in a box.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Box is solid, but yeah place its way to go.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. And the checker was super irritated because I'm
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: pushing the cart. I start walking away, but I realized
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: she didn't even ask me if I need a box
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: or two? So I go back and she's like m
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: and she put her hand out like you wait now,
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: because she was starting to ring up the next person.
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: Damn man, the people here are the customers are rude.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: Now the employee is rude. She's like, look, yeah, you
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: could take just take it, she said, just take it yourself.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just having a bad day. I guess usually Costco
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: people are pretty happy.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not. They're not as happy as Trader Joe's people,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: but they're usually pretty happy.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Costco, she said, just take it yourself. So I
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: threw this crap in a box. I go to the
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: food court, and you know, by nature, I'm a usual
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Usually I'm a happy person. I don't complain about much.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: I'm pretty easy to take care of. I'm like a plant.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: You water me, and I'm happy. I'm smiling. I don't
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: I don't require a lot of attention. But I got
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: to complain for a second about what they're doing to
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: the food court there at Costco.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: They changed that a couple of years ago at Costco. Yeah,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: the kiosk thing, and they I guess they you can
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: still actually pay with cash. They usually have one cash register.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: But nobody knows that they have like one cash register.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: But it is an odd process because then you have
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: certain people that that don't older people that don't understand
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: the concept of hey, you gotta go wait in line,
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: or they just line up.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: For the food. I'm so happy you said that, because
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: we had two older people cut the line and go
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: right to the window. So we're all standing there wasting
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: our time now right with a dumb number. And why
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: are you giving me a number if I'm not even
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: going to get my food until I get up to
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: the front of the window. It just doesn't make any
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: sense to me. So this kid hands me my pepsi
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: cup and my little slice of my big slice of pizza.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: I guess and it was bland, no sauce on the pie,
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: mostly dough.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Uh oh.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: I feel like the next time I go there, I
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: am not going to partake in the Costco pizza any longer.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: It's blasphemy. It's too bad that you didn't enjoy it.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: And I did learn from this podcast Danny that the
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: kiosk thing. One of the reasons Costco likely went to
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: the kiosk is what McDonald's They also went to a
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: kiosk format at a lot of McDonald's. You order on
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: the kiosk, they determine. We talked about this in a
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: previous episode of the Fifth Hour podcast, that human beings
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: are prone to order more food at a kiosk than
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: they are when a human being is asking what they
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: want because you feel no shame. If somebody says, hey,
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: what do you want, you feel like a pig a hawser,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: as my grandfather would say, if you order too much food.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: But at a kiosk, no one's looking. And they don't
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: do it as much at Costco as they do at
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: McDonald's and the other like fast food restaurants.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: They'll like upsell you.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: They're like, hey, you got some fries, would you like
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: to also get an apple pie with that? You know,
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: they'll add other things on and they'll flash them and
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: just click yes.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: And no one's seen us.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: You're going to order more food and all that, but
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: the Costco flow away.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I can go away.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: Apparently.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: Now it is Easter weekend and this being the Saturday
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: before Easter egg hunt, kind of an Easter egg hunt
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: and kind of not. And I bring this up because
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: it is a tradition unlike any other. This time we
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: take a look at Easter candy and we have a map.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: They do the research based on interweb research trends and whatnot.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: And I asked Danny, the most pop you know this
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: is per state in the United States. Here they analyze
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: the trends via Google search data or data, and this
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: goes from a March fourteenth through this past Monday, April fourteenth,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: and they used again Google research to determine the favorite
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: holiday treat, favorite Easter candy by state by state? Danny,
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: should we just pick a random state? Here?
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: You can you can guess, guess the candy. What do
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: you want to what do you want to do? How
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: do you I ain't gonna play this.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Okay, we'll take a random state.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think?
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: How about we do the state of Minnesota. The state
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: of Minneso, Minnesota.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Nice?
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: What do you think the most popular Eastern candy in
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: Minnesota is easter.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna say peeps.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: That is correct, Yeah, Danny, you one.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: In fact, if you answer peeps to pretty much any state,
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I don't get it, Dandy. I've never I had peeps
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: a couple times when I was a kid, and I said,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: these are disgusting. I don't but people barely love them.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Or is it people love.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: Them or they just simply think it's Easter and this
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: is an Easter candy, and so I have to get
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: these and and.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: I think some of it, yeah, it's mostly sugar. I
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: think some of it is the sugar high and also
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: a lot of it is nostalgia.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because Peeps is the number one, number one candy
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Easter candy in pretty much every state the outside of
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: there's a pocket in the Northeast, like in Maine, main
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: they like peanut peanut butter eggs, they like those. Hamshire
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: also likes peanut butter eggs, and then gum in the
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: state of Vermont, and I think Rhode Island. But every
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: other state outside of the the in the Northeast, every
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: other state in the South, all peeps.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Number one one. That Kittles is at the very top
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: in Alaska.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: And then you've got this weird region where like yet Idaho, Montana, Colorado, Utah,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: where it's all a bunch of different different candies that
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: they like, but it's it's almost all Peeps. There's a
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: few gummies, lollipops, jelly beans also popular, m and ms,
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: and chocolate eggs, but Peeps is the runaway winner.
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: Now, when you were little, Benny, well maybe you were
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: never little back then, but when you were young, Benny,
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: I could imagine you trying to hustle as many eggs
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: as you could find because there were jelly beans inside.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I was a Cadbury egg. Guy, I love the Cadbury egg.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: One year, a listener sent, but could you eat more
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: than one of those? Though? Back in my day?
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh, they're so rich.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I loved it.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: I had no sensitivity to the richness. I could not
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: get enough of that.
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: How many of those could you take out in one sitting?
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Oh? I mean they used to come in like five packs.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I could do a five pack. I could do it,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: and I think they're going three packs now. But our
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: listener sent me years ago, I think you were with
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: me and they got the big bag.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: Of just yeah, yeah, that's right.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: It was so good.
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: But I only saw you take a bite when the
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: listener sent it, So I don't even know if you
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: could finish two of those now.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: Well now, yeah, I'm boring and I fast all the
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: time and all, but every once in a while on
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: the weekends, I let my hair down go crazy.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: The word all the week. Turn out for the word
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: all the.
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: Week of the week.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Word of the week is tariff. Why not?
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: It's been in the news a lot recently, tariff. So
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: I thought, where did this word come from? This seems
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: an oddward well originally is an Arabic word but in
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: English it was picked up from Italian tail end of
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: the sixteenth century, and it's not used the same way
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: today that it was then, as words changed in the
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: sixteenth century. In that lexicon it meant an arithmetic an
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: arithmetetic table. Easy for me to say, basically, it was
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: a way to do math in yeah, And over the
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: years there were similar words to it in different languages,
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: in Spanish and Portuguese and Dutch and French and Turkish
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: and all these. The root of it though, is from
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: the Middle East, and it originally meant a notification.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Tariff met a notification or.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: An announcement, or an explanation or the act of making
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: someone or someone aware or known. So it does kind
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: of make sense if you think of what a tariff
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: is today it's attacks. And so you combine the sixteenth
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: century lexicon meaning, which is arithmetic like a math table,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: and the other. The other way you would approach it
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: with yourself was an announcement. So you're announcing that you are
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: doing some extra math, you're adding some math ons.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Then congratulations, love it.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: That's your buddy man. You got him on you got
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: him on Fox Sports Radio.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: He's not just famous for tariffs. He's also now famous
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: on our network for saying.
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: Show hay otani otani love how he says his name,
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: It's the.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Great old Tollan a right. Well, get out on that
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: in the mailbag tomorrow.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: Enjoy the basketball playoffs today and we will catch you
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: next time later, skater bo felation Okay,