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#1944 15 Things I Want You To Know - Harps · The You Project

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Speaker 1: I get again. I hope you're great. Happy Sunday if
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Speaker 1: you're listening to this on the day it comes out,
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Speaker 1: Happy Sunday or insert the day of your choice, whatever
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Speaker 1: day it is. So at Saturday night, it is. What
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Speaker 1: is it? I'm squinting because my eyes are sixty one,
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Speaker 1: as is the rest of me. It's the nineteenth of July.
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Speaker 1: It's six seventeen in the PM. It's been a big day.
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Speaker 1: By the way, thanks for sticking around all of you
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Speaker 1: over the years. A lot of you been here for
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Speaker 1: a long time. We're stumbling like a piss bloke and
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Speaker 1: a bar towards two thousand episodes. Some of them been good,
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Speaker 1: some of them great, some of them shit. It's been
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Speaker 1: a steep learning curve, I'll say that. And you are
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Speaker 1: many of you have been very loyal for a long time,
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Speaker 1: so I appreciate that. Now, before I get too sloppy,
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Speaker 1: I wanted to share with you some By the way,
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Speaker 1: for the rest of the week, we've got lots of
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Speaker 1: great guests. But tonight I want to well, whenever you're
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Speaker 1: hearing this, but tonight for me, I want to share
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Speaker 1: with you just some stuff. I think that it's important
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Speaker 1: that we all know stuff that I didn't know at
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Speaker 1: one stage of my life, and either somebody taught me,
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Speaker 1: or I learned, or life taught me, or experience or
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Speaker 1: the situation unfolded before my eyes, and there it was
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Speaker 1: the lesson me being the perpetual student or trying to
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Speaker 1: be life being the ultimate classroom, and every experience and
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Speaker 1: every person and every situation and every problem and every
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Speaker 1: outcome is a potential teacher. And while that sounds cheesy,
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Speaker 1: it's also very true. It's also very true. So I
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Speaker 1: want to share with you some things that I think
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Speaker 1: are just handy and potentially powerful and transformational. I'm not
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Speaker 1: going to go into great detail, because I don't this
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Speaker 1: is to be a one and a half hour extravaganza,
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Speaker 1: so I'm going to keep it concise and just give you.
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Speaker 1: Actually wrote at the top of my page ten things
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Speaker 1: I want you to know, and then I proceeded to
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Speaker 1: write down fucking seventeen or something anyway, so I don't
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Speaker 1: know how many it is, but i'll probably the title
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Speaker 1: will probably be fifteen things I want you to know,
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Speaker 1: but don't count them because I think there's going to
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Speaker 1: be more at no extra cost. So things I think
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Speaker 1: are important for all of us to know. And this
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Speaker 1: might be something you might want to share with somebody
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Speaker 1: in your life or your world or your orbit that
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Speaker 1: you think it would be good for them to know this.
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Speaker 1: So one of the things we're always dealing with as
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Speaker 1: humans is disappointment, among many other things, of course, but
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Speaker 1: disappointment is interesting because, like many things, it is an
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Speaker 1: individual response. So that's an internal thing, an individual response.
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Speaker 1: I am disappointed, I feel this disappointed, I got disappointed.
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Speaker 1: I'm having a disappointing experience or moment. And that internal
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Speaker 1: response is generally a byproduct of, or we think it's
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Speaker 1: because of something happening in our external world. So something
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Speaker 1: happened around us or to us, or despite us or
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Speaker 1: because of us, there was a result, there was an
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Speaker 1: outcome we didn't want. Somebody did something or said something,
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Speaker 1: or didn't do something or didn't say something, and the
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Speaker 1: byproduct of that was disappointment. And I guess one of
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Speaker 1: the classics is that we many of us, get disappointed
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Speaker 1: by the same person often, and we know that the
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Speaker 1: best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. So I
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Speaker 1: wrote quite a sweary post about this, which I won't
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Speaker 1: repeat on here, but a sweary post about this, alluding
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Speaker 1: to the fact that if Brian behaved a certain way
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Speaker 1: the last four or one hundred times, all three or
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Speaker 1: two hundred or even fifty times. But if Brian or
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Speaker 1: whomever behaved a certain way, acted a certain way, treated
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Speaker 1: you a certain way, spoke to you a certain way
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Speaker 1: the last however many times, then more than likely he's
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Speaker 1: going to do that. He's going to be that, he's
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Speaker 1: going to talk like that, he's going to be a
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Speaker 1: version of that this time. So one of the curious
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Speaker 1: things about us is each time Brian, whoever Brian is,
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Speaker 1: does that thing, even though he's done it one hundred
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Speaker 1: times in a row, we still somehow get disappointed because,
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Speaker 1: although it's understandable, we want him to be different. But
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Speaker 1: expecting him to be different based on his history is
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Speaker 1: not a logical expectation. It's an irrational expectation based on
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Speaker 1: an emotion. That is, we feel that he should or
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Speaker 1: we want him to. It's not based on rationale or logic. Right,
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Speaker 1: So the disappointment comes from our expectation, not so much
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Speaker 1: of his in this example behavior. So disappointment is a
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Speaker 1: byproduct of my expectations and yours not their behavior. We
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Speaker 1: know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
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Speaker 1: So that doesn't mean when I expect someone who's treated
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Speaker 1: me poorly the last hundred times, when I expect that
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Speaker 1: to happen, or I expect them to be rude, I
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Speaker 1: expect them to be inconsiderate, I expect them to be thoughtless,
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Speaker 1: I expect them to be selfish. That doesn't mean I'm
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Speaker 1: condoning it. That doesn't mean I like it or I
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Speaker 1: support it. It just means that I'm aware and I'm practical,
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Speaker 1: and I'm realistic that this guy or this girl, this person,
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Speaker 1: this individual that's behaved a certain way probably is not
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Speaker 1: going to be different today. The point of knowing this, well,
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Speaker 1: the real value in knowing this is that it stops
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Speaker 1: us getting disappointed repeatedly. Like I said, expecting somebody to
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Speaker 1: be how they've been is logical. Expecting them to probably
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Speaker 1: be rude or thoughtless or inconsider it is not what
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Speaker 1: we want. We don't want that, but we intellectually can
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Speaker 1: understand that that's probably what's coming. And so that's really
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Speaker 1: a self protection mechanism or practice. Number two is and
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Speaker 1: I've spoken about this a bit, so thing I want
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Speaker 1: you to know too. People are going to be bothered
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Speaker 1: some people by your success. I spoke about a thing
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Speaker 1: once or twice on the show, and I've written about
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Speaker 1: it called schadenfreuder, which is a German word, not surprisingly
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Speaker 1: sharden or schadenfreut, And it just means that some people
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Speaker 1: enjoy your pain. You're suffering your failure some people and
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Speaker 1: will go into this at some stage perhaps but not tonight,
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Speaker 1: not today. Some people take delight in seeing you fail.
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Speaker 1: And also conversely, some people are really bothered when you succeed.
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Speaker 1: So one they're happy when you fail, and two they're
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Speaker 1: unhappy when you succeed. And I wouldn't call myself a
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Speaker 1: raving success story, but I've done enough cool things and
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Speaker 1: I'm very and there's no ego in this because I've
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Speaker 1: fucked up more than i've won in inverted commas. But
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Speaker 1: I've had some wins, and I've succeeded with some things,
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Speaker 1: and I've done for my very mediocre and insignificant level
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Speaker 1: of talent. I've done alright. And I'm well aware of
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Speaker 1: numerous people that used to be but are not anymore
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Speaker 1: in my orbit. That really, let's just say the emotion
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Speaker 1: that they had around my success or me doing well
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Speaker 1: or me getting or building or creating something that worked,
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Speaker 1: and opportunities that I created, and that really fucking bothered people.
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Speaker 1: And I mean, I shouldn't say what I'm going to say,
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Speaker 1: but fucking I'm going to say, leanin. I would love
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Speaker 1: to do a whole podcast on this because and it
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Speaker 1: happens to many people, but the amount of people that
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Speaker 1: have been bothered and I could name names. I would
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Speaker 1: never name names, of course, but I find it fucking
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Speaker 1: hilarious and interesting and fascinating that, you know, the the
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Speaker 1: the amount of people that do not want you to
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Speaker 1: do well. Of course, there are people that do want
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Speaker 1: you to do well, let's not make this too negative,
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Speaker 1: but also a surprising number of people who are bothered
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Speaker 1: by your success. So that's nothing to worry about, nothing
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Speaker 1: to dread, nothing lose sleep over, just something to be
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Speaker 1: aware of. And of course there will always be amazing,
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Speaker 1: hopefully in your life, amazing, beautiful, kind people who want
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Speaker 1: the best for you, irrespective of what's going on in
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Speaker 1: their life. All right, next thing, I want you to know,
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Speaker 1: you know what I'm going to say, So I'm not
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Speaker 1: going to dwell on this or you don't know what
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Speaker 1: I'm going to say, but you've heard me say this,
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Speaker 1: and that is that people don't think like you. Now,
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Speaker 1: when I say that, I mean some people might think
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Speaker 1: similarly to you, But nobody's thinking like you twenty four
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Speaker 1: to seven. Nobody's looking through the you lens. Nobody is
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Speaker 1: experiencing or dissecting or interpreting the world and all the
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Speaker 1: events of that world. They're not. They don't have your
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Speaker 1: data processor, they don't have your brain, they don't have
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Speaker 1: you your mind. They don't have your values and beliefs
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Speaker 1: and ideas and culture and experiences and history. So people
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Speaker 1: don't think like you, or they don't think Probably they
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Speaker 1: don't think the same. Some people will think similarly, of course,
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Speaker 1: And that's why, by the way, that's how we end
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Speaker 1: up in all these different thought cults, because we love
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Speaker 1: to gravitate towards people who think like us. That's why
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Speaker 1: echo chambers exist. That's why behavioral and sociological and cultural
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Speaker 1: and religious cults exist, where we just hang out in
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Speaker 1: groups and rooms where people are you know, telling us
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Speaker 1: basically whatever we think is right, and we're doing the
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Speaker 1: same to them. But in general terms, when we're out
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Speaker 1: and about It's called the false consensus effect. By the way,
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Speaker 1: when we think that what is coming out of our mouth,
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Speaker 1: for example, our intention will be that person's experience. I
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Speaker 1: think this, therefore they will think this. That's an erroneous assumption.
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Speaker 1: It's an interpersonal faux pa. It's a fuck up. And
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Speaker 1: assuming that people think like you when we're just in general,
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Speaker 1: life creates interpersonal issues, confusion, disconnection, conflict, offense, misunderstanding, and
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Speaker 1: a myriad of shit that you don't want. So assume
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Speaker 1: that they might not think like you a little bit
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Speaker 1: through to they think nothing like you. Don't assume that
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Speaker 1: they're picking up what you're putting down. Next thing. I
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Speaker 1: want you to know the enlightened goal. The enlightened goal
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Speaker 1: is not to be perpetually happy. I feel like happiness
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Speaker 1: is held up as as the ultimate achievement. And of
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Speaker 1: course happiness is great. I recommend it, I use and
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Speaker 1: recommend happiness. But I don't think. I don't think the
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Speaker 1: goal of happiness or continuous happiness or you know, this
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Speaker 1: never ending series of happy moments and days and encounters.
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Speaker 1: Not only do I not think, I know it's not
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Speaker 1: it's not realistic. It's not practical. I think a much
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Speaker 1: more enlightened goal, or a much wiser goal, or practical
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Speaker 1: or achievable goal is to one to embrace that happiness
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Speaker 1: and embrace those moments of joy and navana and all
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Speaker 1: of that when it's around. But I think more importantly
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Speaker 1: to be really practical and go, you know what, life
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Speaker 1: is peaks and troughs. Life is light and shade. It's
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Speaker 1: black and white. It's good stuff, it's bad stuff. It's
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Speaker 1: it's tragedy, it's triumph, it's sadness, it's joy. So I
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Speaker 1: think our real challenge, our ultimate goal, is to be
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Speaker 1: able to successfully navigate all of that, to successfully navigate
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Speaker 1: the peaks and the troughs of being a human, you know,
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Speaker 1: and all the inevitable stuff that comes with that. And
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Speaker 1: if we're happy and joyful and things have gone great,
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Speaker 1: and if we're calm, and if we're in a beautiful place,
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Speaker 1: that's amazing. But if we wake up tomorrow and we
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Speaker 1: feel like dogshit, or we're a bit anxious, or we're
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Speaker 1: a bit sad or a bit flat, or we don't
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Speaker 1: have the same level of motivation, or we're not flying
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Speaker 1: on the happiness cloud, that's okay too. Because that means
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Speaker 1: you're human. That means you're normal, and that's all of us.
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Speaker 1: That's all of us. I've never met a person, and
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Speaker 1: I've met lots who's perpetually happy. I've met some people
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Speaker 1: that are happy a lot, and I've met some people
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Speaker 1: that are atypically happier than others. And I've met some
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Speaker 1: people who are sad a lot and flat a lot. Right,
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Speaker 1: But I've never met anyone who's twenty four to seven happy.
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Speaker 1: So I don't know that happiness as a goal is
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Speaker 1: a great goal. I think perhaps being functional and operational
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Speaker 1: and okay and accepting and what's the other word I
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Speaker 1: guess they'll do in the middle of the peaks and troughs.
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Speaker 1: I think that's the goal, is navigating the tough stuff
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Speaker 1: and being alright with it. Okay. My next one is this,
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Speaker 1: It is very Craig Harper. Life doesn't care about your feelings.
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Speaker 1: Life's not fair. And I know that seems like maybe
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Speaker 1: an unnecessary thing to say, but it's kind of a
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Speaker 1: silly like when we it's almost like we anthropomorphize, that is,
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Speaker 1: humanize life, whereas life is what is life, Life is,
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Speaker 1: life is eighty years, Life is eighty five years. Life
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Speaker 1: is this myriad of ongoing events and happenings and situations
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Speaker 1: and circumstances and good and bad. And it's like life
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Speaker 1: is not a conscious entity, that's you know, watching you.
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Speaker 1: And so this idea that life's not fair, well, no shit,
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Speaker 1: I mean, but again, is that life being unfair or
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Speaker 1: is that just the human experience? Of course, some kids
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Speaker 1: get cancer. Of course, some bad people live till their
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Speaker 1: ninety five. Bad things happen to good people, good things
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Speaker 1: happen to bad people. Some people work really fucking hard
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Speaker 1: and it doesn't pay off. Some people are born with
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Speaker 1: phenomenal talent. Some people are born with a silver spoon
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Speaker 1: in their mouth. They've got all the re sources, all
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Speaker 1: the dough, they've got the cheer squad, they've got the situation,
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Speaker 1: they've got the home, they've got the private school education.
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Speaker 1: If that stuff matters, not sure. But of course people
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Speaker 1: are born into different situations and so kind of investing energy,
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Speaker 1: by the way, feeling that life's not fair or you know,
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Speaker 1: life doesn't care. I don't think this is a terrible thing.
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Speaker 1: I just think it's not a good use of your energy.
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Speaker 1: It's not a good use of your time. It's a
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Speaker 1: fucking pointless conversation. The amount of people will going, Oh,
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Speaker 1: life's not fair. Yep, sure, next, So in the middle
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Speaker 1: of the unfairness of life, what are you going to do?
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Speaker 1: I mean, this is the challenge. Like, we know that
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Speaker 1: life is messy, and life is unfair, and life is
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Speaker 1: peaks and troughs and all the stuff that I said before.
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Speaker 1: Good things happens to bad people, and bad things happen
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Speaker 1: to good people, all that shit. But really the question is,
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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that stuff that you
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Speaker 1: and I can't control and didn't choose and don't determine,
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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of the stuff that we
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Speaker 1: can't control, what is it that you and I can control?
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Speaker 1: And what are you and I going to do about that?
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Speaker 1: The next thing I want you to know, and this
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Speaker 1: is this is just something to think about. This is
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Speaker 1: not a revelation, but you'll never have more time in
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Speaker 1: your life than you do the moment that you are
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Speaker 1: hearing these words. Now, think about every moment that passes by.
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Speaker 1: And this is not being fatalistic, but every moment, every minute,
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Speaker 1: every hour, every day, every week, month, year, is you
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Speaker 1: moving closer towards the finish line. And that's okay. That's
17:48
Speaker 1: nothing to be terrified. That's something to acknowledge. I did
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Speaker 1: a podcast the other day called The Home Straight when
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Speaker 1: I spoke about my own mortality and I went, well,
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Speaker 1: I'm sixty two in September. I'm probably will put it
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Speaker 1: this way, if I'm the average Australian male in terms
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Speaker 1: of life expectancy, I'm past the three quarter mark. I'm
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Speaker 1: seventy five percent done. I'm well and truly on the
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Speaker 1: home straight. I mean I could live three more years
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Speaker 1: or three more decades, or less or more. I'm not sure,
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Speaker 1: but I know that for me at sixty one heading
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Speaker 1: towards sixty two, to sit around with my fucking hands
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Speaker 1: under my thighs waiting for the mystical, magical, mythical right
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Speaker 1: time to do stuff or to make a decision, or
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Speaker 1: to address that issue, or to have that conversation or
18:43
Speaker 1: to address that shitty habit or and on and on
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Speaker 1: and on. It's like I will never have more time.
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Speaker 1: My time is only diminishing. You will never have more time.
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Speaker 1: Your clock is ticking down every day. That it's not
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Speaker 1: something to worry about. That's something to be aware of
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Speaker 1: and say all right, knowing that my time is ticking down,
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Speaker 1: knowing that this today is the most time that I'm
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Speaker 1: going to have for the rest of my life. Tomorrow
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Speaker 1: it will be a day less. Right, What are you
19:15
Speaker 1: going to do with that? Because I feel like some
19:17
Speaker 1: of us just have the mindset that I'm always going
19:23
Speaker 1: to have time. I don't need to do it now.
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Speaker 1: I can put off. I can put it off. And truly,
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Speaker 1: some people have been saying a version of that for
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Speaker 1: ten years. I reckon some people more, some people more. So,
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Speaker 1: You're never going to have more time than you have now.
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Speaker 1: Next thing I want you to know is this, you
19:44
Speaker 1: don't lack potential. You don't lack potential. I've never never
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Speaker 1: met a person who doesn't have potential. Some people have more,
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Speaker 1: some people have less. But I've never met a person
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Speaker 1: with zero potential to do, be, create or change something,
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Speaker 1: to achieve, something, to move the needle on, something to
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Speaker 1: do better on, something, to change their body in some way,
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Speaker 1: to change their lifestyle, their life, their habits, their thinking,
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Speaker 1: their behavior. Every person I've ever met has some potential,
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Speaker 1: some maybe a little bit, maybe a fuck load that
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Speaker 1: they are not exploiting. For me, I truly believe, and
20:27
Speaker 1: this is one of my passions, which is why I
20:31
Speaker 1: am so committed to helping people to understand their own possibilities, power,
20:37
Speaker 1: and potential. I believe the problem is that most people
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Speaker 1: don't understand how much potential they have. One. So that's
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Speaker 1: problem number one. Problem number one is they don't understand
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Speaker 1: how much potential they have. Problem number two is they
20:52
Speaker 1: may have been around people who somewhat eroded their self
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Speaker 1: belief and confidence. Right, that's cool, we've all had a
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Speaker 1: bit of that. Move on. That's number two. Number three
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Speaker 1: is the shit that we really need to do to
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Speaker 1: move the needle and to tap into that and exploit
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Speaker 1: that potential is quite often going to be uncomfortably and
21:23
Speaker 1: convenient and painful, right, all things we don't want. So
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Speaker 1: I've never met you most of you listening to this personally,
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Speaker 1: I've never met you. Some of you have, but I
21:36
Speaker 1: would be extremely surprised. In fact, i'd be in fact,
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't believe it. If you have zero potential left
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Speaker 1: to exploit, I would be absolutely dumbfounded. That doesn't mean
21:52
Speaker 1: we can all do everything. Doesn't mean that I can't
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Speaker 1: go you know what, I'm going to run a marathon
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Speaker 1: in two hours. I'm going to run one hundred meters
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Speaker 1: in ten second. Look out, gout, gout, I'm fucking coming
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Speaker 1: for you. That's not happening, right. We know that I'm
22:05
Speaker 1: not going to win a Grammy. I'm fucking singing. There's
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Speaker 1: a bunch of shit I can't do. But do I
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Speaker 1: at sixty one, the bloke who's done a whole lot
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Speaker 1: of stuff and really pushes himself. Do I still have
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Speaker 1: potential that I haven't used or exploited or opened the
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Speaker 1: door on? Yes? I do. So if crusty old Jumbo can,
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Speaker 1: then so can you. The next thing I want you
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Speaker 1: to know, and you know this, but this is just
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Speaker 1: a thing to be aware of, so I'll be brief.
22:35
Speaker 1: I want you to remember day to day that you
22:39
Speaker 1: think the way that you do, You behave the way
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Speaker 1: that you do, you see the world the way that
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Speaker 1: you do. You maybe have the ideas and beliefs and
22:48
Speaker 1: values that you do, at least in part, because you've
22:52
Speaker 1: been programmed. Since you could think, since you could process data,
22:59
Speaker 1: since you could interpret the world around you and people
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Speaker 1: around you, and the various stimuli media, social media, book, school, friends, family,
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Speaker 1: all that you have been programmed. You've been influenced and
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Speaker 1: possibly manipulated, possibly controlled up to this point in time,
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Speaker 1: and you're still being programmed by all the stuff that
23:20
Speaker 1: you pay attention to. Me too, Am I influenced and
23:25
Speaker 1: somewhat programmed or affected by everything I listen to, I watch,
23:31
Speaker 1: I read, I pay attention to. Of course I am.
23:34
Speaker 1: You know why because brains and minds are very programmable.
23:39
Speaker 1: Now if I think, oh, no, I'm not, I'm not
23:42
Speaker 1: influenced by that. I'm completely objective, I'm completely totally independent
23:48
Speaker 1: in my critical thinking. Well, one I'm lying to you, Two,
23:51
Speaker 1: I'm full of shit, and three it's not possible. So
23:55
Speaker 1: it's not that we're trying to undo all the programming.
23:59
Speaker 1: It's that we're trying to be aware of the programming,
24:03
Speaker 1: which for us is self limiting. What's the thing that
24:07
Speaker 1: I've learned in inverted commas that's fucking me up, that's
24:10
Speaker 1: getting in my way, that's inhibiting my thought processes. That's
24:14
Speaker 1: a form of self sabotage. The next thing I want
24:18
Speaker 1: you to know that not a lot of us think about,
24:21
Speaker 1: is that your brain. Your brain. Okay, So what I'm
24:25
Speaker 1: about to share with you is broscience, but it's essentially true.
24:29
Speaker 1: Your brain is kind of like your biceps, or your glutes,
24:32
Speaker 1: or your CODs, or your deltoids or your triceps in
24:36
Speaker 1: that in that your brain needs to be worked out
24:41
Speaker 1: if you want it to work well as you age,
24:44
Speaker 1: If you want your brain to function well, to be
24:49
Speaker 1: in inverted commas, if you want it to be strong
24:52
Speaker 1: and functional and operational and adaptable and resilient, just like
24:59
Speaker 1: you want your muscles to be as you get older,
25:02
Speaker 1: so that you can be healthy and functional as you
25:05
Speaker 1: move into your sixties, seventies, eighties, or fifties or whatever.
25:08
Speaker 1: Your brain needs to be trained. You need to. You know,
25:12
Speaker 1: one of the funny things that I see, not funny
25:15
Speaker 1: sad things is that you know, people who will either
25:21
Speaker 1: do no exercise at all have a completely unhealthy life style,
25:26
Speaker 1: and not only do they not do anything for their
25:28
Speaker 1: body or their brain, but they actually do things to
25:31
Speaker 1: their body which fucks up their brain, like alcohol like booze,
25:35
Speaker 1: like drugs, like inadequate sleep, like not managing you know, stress,
25:41
Speaker 1: and all of these things. Some are harder than others
25:43
Speaker 1: to address. I know, but your brain needs to be
25:47
Speaker 1: looked after. And because we don't see it in inverted commas,
25:51
Speaker 1: like we see our ass or we see our arms,
25:54
Speaker 1: or we see our whatever, we tend not to worry
25:57
Speaker 1: about it, or perhaps worry is not the right word,
26:01
Speaker 1: but concern ourselves with its health. Your brain will decline.
26:09
Speaker 1: That's not a maybe, that's a definite. Your brain will decline.
26:13
Speaker 1: Your cognitive function will go down, your memory will go down,
26:16
Speaker 1: your mental acuity will drop, your focus will go down.
26:21
Speaker 1: Your ability to solve problems will decrease. But here's the butt.
26:29
Speaker 1: When that happens, and how quickly that happens, and to
26:34
Speaker 1: what level that happens is something that you can manipulate.
26:43
Speaker 1: I've said this many times, and I don't want to
26:45
Speaker 1: bore you, but and I can't prove this or measure it,
26:48
Speaker 1: but hopefully you trust me. I feel like at sixty
26:52
Speaker 1: one my brain works at least as well as when
26:54
Speaker 1: I was thirty. I could be wrong, but I'm very
26:58
Speaker 1: grateful that I'm doing things like this, where I am
27:02
Speaker 1: talking in a room by myself on a Saturday night.
27:05
Speaker 1: I've got to use my brain. I've got to concentrate,
27:07
Speaker 1: I've got a string words together. Hear that. I've got
27:11
Speaker 1: to be articulate. I've got to think in real time.
27:13
Speaker 1: I've got to try to use words and build rapport
27:16
Speaker 1: and connection talking about you know, the same thing, but
27:20
Speaker 1: connecting with thousands of people who are not the same.
27:23
Speaker 1: So this is a real cognitive exercise that I am
27:26
Speaker 1: in the middle of right now doing my research and
27:29
Speaker 1: my study university is a cognitive exercise. All the things
27:33
Speaker 1: that I write on the whiteboard every time I stand
27:36
Speaker 1: in front of an audience, a three D audience in
27:39
Speaker 1: real time, in real life, it's a cognitive exercise every
27:43
Speaker 1: time I commit to learning something new, whatever that is,
27:47
Speaker 1: whether it's in an academic setting or not, it is
27:51
Speaker 1: really important. I believe that you train your brain, that
27:57
Speaker 1: you do things consciously and intensely, not incidentally, not accidentally
28:04
Speaker 1: just hoping that your brain works optimally when you're seventy
28:07
Speaker 1: or sixty or ninety, but that you consciously and intentionally
28:13
Speaker 1: do intelligent things, smart things, proactive things to keep your
28:20
Speaker 1: brain working. My next one is really backs that up.
28:24
Speaker 1: So they kind of butt into each other, and that
28:26
Speaker 1: is how you age is optional. So aging not optional,
28:33
Speaker 1: of course, I mean, you're just going to keep aging
28:35
Speaker 1: until you die. So let's assume and hope that's not
28:38
Speaker 1: in the near future for all of us. But you know,
28:42
Speaker 1: of course, the chronological clock just keeps ticking. So my
28:46
Speaker 1: chronological age will be sixty two in September. September twenty eight,
28:52
Speaker 1: don't get anything, don't get any trouble, just something big
28:55
Speaker 1: and expensive. So chronologically, my age just keeps going, going
29:00
Speaker 1: up until it doesn't. And that's linear, that's a constant,
29:06
Speaker 1: that's the same. It doesn't change every year. I'm exactly,
29:10
Speaker 1: you're ready one year older, exactly. But the rate at
29:16
Speaker 1: which my body and my mind and my brain in particular,
29:21
Speaker 1: my muscles, my bone, my ligaments, my tendons, my cells,
29:25
Speaker 1: my cellular health, my organs, my nervous system, my heart,
29:28
Speaker 1: my lungs, the way that all of that stuff ages
29:32
Speaker 1: is largely about my behavior. My choice, is my lifestyle,
29:39
Speaker 1: the things that I do. It's not entirely because of
29:43
Speaker 1: course there's an unavoidable component and a genetic component, but
29:51
Speaker 1: the way that we age can definitely be manipulated for
29:55
Speaker 1: the better. Okay, my next thing that I want to
29:59
Speaker 1: share with you, let's do couple more, and that is
30:01
Speaker 1: that I want to talk about this more in the
30:05
Speaker 1: next few weeks maybe. But this thing I want you
30:09
Speaker 1: to know is that sometimes logic is illogical. What we
30:14
Speaker 1: call logic is really just a story that we tell
30:19
Speaker 1: ourselves based on what we think, we understand, how we think,
30:27
Speaker 1: and what we think we know. So when I look
30:31
Speaker 1: at something, I might have no idea how that something works.
30:38
Speaker 1: And to me, based on my knowledge, my understanding, my
30:42
Speaker 1: I'll go, that's fucking that can't happen. That's not real.
30:46
Speaker 1: That's illogical. And to me, based on my knowledge and
30:50
Speaker 1: my logic and my understanding of what is and what
30:53
Speaker 1: is possible, and what we can and what we can't do,
30:55
Speaker 1: and what can and can't happen, it's very possible that
30:59
Speaker 1: the thing is real. But to me it's just illogical.
31:04
Speaker 1: That's not logical. And if you think about historically, like
31:09
Speaker 1: imagine like we've been around three hundred thousand years or
31:12
Speaker 1: something as a species, imagine if you went back to
31:16
Speaker 1: any time in history one hundred and fifty years ago
31:20
Speaker 1: or more anytime between you know, then in Jesus or
31:26
Speaker 1: way before that, and you said, do you know what,
31:29
Speaker 1: one day in the not too distant future, there will
31:32
Speaker 1: be people in a big metal tube that weighs hundreds
31:37
Speaker 1: of tons, there'll be people in this big metal tube
31:41
Speaker 1: flying through the sky. They will probably have burned you
31:46
Speaker 1: at the stake, They might have thrown you in some
31:50
Speaker 1: kind of confinement or isolation. They definitely would not have
31:54
Speaker 1: thought on any level that you were being logical, rational,
31:58
Speaker 1: or reasonable, because they based on what was possible, based
32:02
Speaker 1: on understanding, based on science, based on knowledge at the time.
32:08
Speaker 1: The idea of flying through the air in a metal tube.
32:11
Speaker 1: For most of our evolutionary timeline, probably ninety nine point
32:14
Speaker 1: nine nine percent of how long humans have been around,
32:17
Speaker 1: that was a completely irrational and logical idea. That's fucking stupid.
32:21
Speaker 1: That can't happen. And now, not only is it logical,
32:26
Speaker 1: you know, we don't even think about it as you
32:28
Speaker 1: go jump on a plane. I still don't know. I mean,
32:32
Speaker 1: I'm not really great at physics. I'm sure I could
32:34
Speaker 1: probably figure it out, but sometimes I look at those motherfuckers.
32:36
Speaker 1: I'm thinking this is very big and very heavy. Anyway,
32:43
Speaker 1: So the thing that you say, oh, that's not logical,
32:50
Speaker 1: Maybe it's completely logical, but it's just that you don't understand,
32:55
Speaker 1: like to me what I know it is. But you know,
32:58
Speaker 1: what seems illogical to me at times where I'm on
33:02
Speaker 1: a zoom call, I'm interviewing Bobby Capuccio, who's you all know,
33:08
Speaker 1: and he's in New York or he's in San Diego.
33:12
Speaker 1: It depends where he's at at the time, opposite coasts,
33:14
Speaker 1: I know. But I'm looking at him, he's looking at me.
33:19
Speaker 1: I don't know how many thousands of miles that is
33:21
Speaker 1: a lot or kilometers, Like, let's go with a fuck load.
33:25
Speaker 1: I'm looking at him, he's talking, I'm talking. I see him.
33:28
Speaker 1: There's no lag, there's no delay. It makes no sense.
33:35
Speaker 1: If you said to me, Craig, explain technically, explain how
33:40
Speaker 1: that works. I couldn't even give it a stab. It's
33:45
Speaker 1: not how my brain. That's not my area of expertise.
33:48
Speaker 1: I'm sure I could go and learn, and I could
33:50
Speaker 1: jump on here and explain it to you, but that
33:52
Speaker 1: it ain't my wheelhouse. Or you could probably explain it
33:54
Speaker 1: to me much better. So logic is just a story
33:59
Speaker 1: that we tell ourselves sometimes. The next thing I want
34:04
Speaker 1: you to know is that destination disappointment is real. I'll
34:11
Speaker 1: say it again. Destination disappointment is real. That is, we
34:15
Speaker 1: get where we wanted to go. Literally or metaphorically, financially
34:18
Speaker 1: or health or business or career or relationship or whatever
34:23
Speaker 1: it is. We get where we wanted to go. We
34:25
Speaker 1: tick the box, we achieved the thing we wanted to achieve.
34:29
Speaker 1: Bibertybobby Boo. I wanted X and Y. Now I've got
34:32
Speaker 1: X and Y, and now I thought I'd be fulfilled
34:38
Speaker 1: and happy and great, but I'm not. I'm actually disappointed
34:41
Speaker 1: because I've got the thing, the external thing. And I
34:45
Speaker 1: thought getting that external thing, the thing that everyone can see,
34:48
Speaker 1: the achievement or the accolade or the money or the
34:50
Speaker 1: car or the job or the thing that I wanted,
34:53
Speaker 1: I thought that would create an corresponding internal thing that
34:59
Speaker 1: would be bigger than the actual thing, and I'd be good.
35:02
Speaker 1: But now I've got the thing, I've done the thing,
35:04
Speaker 1: I've achieved the thing, I own the thing, I earn
35:06
Speaker 1: the thing, and I'm still fucking sad. Oh ah, So
35:12
Speaker 1: what is that about? What is that about? I think
35:16
Speaker 1: I think it's because we expect the achievement or change
35:22
Speaker 1: or doing or undoing of something in our external world,
35:26
Speaker 1: our physical, three dimensional world, the scene world that we
35:29
Speaker 1: live in, not the unseen world that lives in us.
35:32
Speaker 1: But the scene world, the physical world, the three dimensional world.
35:36
Speaker 1: We do something and as we're heading towards doing that thing,
35:40
Speaker 1: we think that that's going to change our psychologically and
35:43
Speaker 1: emotionally and spiritually for the better. And it doesn't, or
35:48
Speaker 1: it does, but it does it for three days and
35:49
Speaker 1: then we're like, oh, so then we've got to reboot.
35:52
Speaker 1: And we go, well, it must not be two hundred
35:54
Speaker 1: grand a year. It must be three hundred grand a year.
35:57
Speaker 1: Or it must be not seven inch arms. This sounds familiar,
36:02
Speaker 1: and maybe it's got to be eighteen inch biceps, or
36:05
Speaker 1: maybe it's got to be whatever. Maybe it's a million followers,
36:09
Speaker 1: not half a million followers, or maybe it's whatever. So
36:12
Speaker 1: we keep moving the goalposts, delusionally thinking that the external
36:20
Speaker 1: achievement will guarantee the internal state we want. When you know,
36:28
Speaker 1: sometimes it's really just about and you know, yell at
36:33
Speaker 1: me through your fucking car or your phone, I get it.
36:36
Speaker 1: But it really is about the journey. It's like who
36:41
Speaker 1: am I becoming on the journey. It's about what am
36:45
Speaker 1: I developing and learning and understanding and building. As I
36:49
Speaker 1: climb the mountain, I'm building resilience and capacity and confidence
36:55
Speaker 1: and skill and fitness and strength and balance and coordination
37:00
Speaker 1: and a different kind of awareness as I'm climbing. Then
37:04
Speaker 1: I get to the top of the hill, I'm like, okay,
37:06
Speaker 1: it's the top of a hill because it really ain't
37:09
Speaker 1: about the finish line. It's about the journey towards the
37:12
Speaker 1: finish line. Yes, cliche, shoot me, I apologize, but it's
37:17
Speaker 1: just true. It's just true. Let's do let's do one more.
37:27
Speaker 1: I'm going to go with. Strength isn't always about winning.
37:33
Speaker 1: In our culture, we're very much enamored with winning, with
37:41
Speaker 1: being the best, with succeeding. Nothing wrong with any of that,
37:47
Speaker 1: by the way, But sometimes strength is it's about Sometimes
37:53
Speaker 1: strength is like really underwhelmingly unimpressive in a way. It's
37:59
Speaker 1: like sometimes it's about just not losing your shit in
38:03
Speaker 1: the middle of the thing that you used to lose
38:06
Speaker 1: your shit in, like being the calm in the chaos.
38:09
Speaker 1: It's not always about winning, or being in control, or
38:15
Speaker 1: being the best, or even knowing what to do next.
38:18
Speaker 1: Sometimes not knowing what to do and being okay is strength.
38:23
Speaker 1: Sometimes being scared and being okay is strength. Sometimes being
38:32
Speaker 1: uncertain and being in the middle of unfamiliarity and unpredictability,
38:37
Speaker 1: and you being emotionally and psychologically fine in the middle
38:41
Speaker 1: of what for many people would be distressing, somewhere between
38:47
Speaker 1: mildly distressing and fucking overwhelming. I think that's what strength
38:54
Speaker 1: is like. When I talk about high performance, I talk
38:59
Speaker 1: about people getting the best out of themselves, whatever that is,
39:02
Speaker 1: wherever they are for me, and yes, I can talk
39:05
Speaker 1: about high performance in a business sense, or a creative sense,
39:08
Speaker 1: or a sporting sense or but for me general, what
39:12
Speaker 1: I would call high performance in life is just about
39:15
Speaker 1: what you can do with what you've got, which is
39:17
Speaker 1: why I've said before my favorite high performer in the
39:20
Speaker 1: world as my mum, And of course I love her,
39:23
Speaker 1: and I'm biased, of course, But here's this forty two
39:25
Speaker 1: kilogram woman. Let's say that again, forty two kilograms. I
39:30
Speaker 1: reckon she might be lying. I reckon, she might be forty.
39:32
Speaker 1: But anyway, who's eighty six in a few months. Who's
39:36
Speaker 1: looking after my dad, who's in worse shape than her her,
39:41
Speaker 1: who's had cancer three times, and who's had a minor
39:46
Speaker 1: heart attack, and who's had a myriad of challenges and
39:51
Speaker 1: pretty much never complaints, pretty much just looks after people,
39:56
Speaker 1: including me, so for me, for me, that is strength.
40:01
Speaker 1: That's to me, that's impressive. Some dude in the gym
40:05
Speaker 1: deadlifting six hundred pounds that doesn't impress me. Well done,
40:08
Speaker 1: by the way, that's cool, that's a cool achievement. But
40:12
Speaker 1: you know it's that ain't what I call the epitome
40:16
Speaker 1: of strength. So strength sometimes is just about your capacity,
40:20
Speaker 1: whoever you are, whatever you got to work with, just
40:23
Speaker 1: to keep going. All right, team, Hope you got something
40:27
Speaker 1: out of that. Appreciate you, Enjoy your Sunday if you're
40:31
Speaker 1: listening to this on a Sunday or whatever day you're
40:33
Speaker 1: listening to it, and you and I hopefully will hang
40:37
Speaker 1: out together soon