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Why Doesn’t More Money Feel Better? (And What Actually Does) | Money Manifestation Chapter 5 · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 3: Welcome to the Rock My Finances show on k for
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  Speaker 3: HD Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the
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  Speaker 3: fund in finance. Joining Powerhouse Jeffer josp CDFA CMC and
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  Speaker 3: Private Wealth Advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
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  Speaker 3: control and confidence with your money, your web. It's not
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  Speaker 3: about the zeros. So what is it all about? Let's
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  Speaker 3: find out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome back to Rock My Finances. This is an amazing series,
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  Speaker 2: Money Manifesting series and the year in chapter five, So welcome,
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  Speaker 2: Glad you're here. I love this series because I've been
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  Speaker 2: working for decades with people around money, and I still
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  Speaker 2: get these questions. And I've worked with people for over
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  Speaker 2: ten fifteen years and then they'll still come back and
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  Speaker 2: ask me these type of questions. So I think this
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  Speaker 2: is going to be beneficial for everyone. So why doesn't
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  Speaker 2: more money make us feel better? Great question? Right, we
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  Speaker 2: all want more. I will feel better when I make
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  Speaker 2: more money. I will feel better when I'm out of debt.
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  Speaker 2: I will feel better when I can save more money.
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  Speaker 2: I will finally feel stable when my retirement is full.
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  Speaker 2: I will finally feel so much happier when I can retire.
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  Speaker 2: All these questions, Right, But what happens when more money
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  Speaker 2: comes in and then you notice you really don't feel
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  Speaker 2: much different? Now, I'm not talking about poverty level level
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  Speaker 2: of money. We all have to have our shelter, our food,
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  Speaker 2: our housing, our food, our medical transportation, all that has
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  Speaker 2: to be taken care of. So basically, if you're making
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  Speaker 2: over maybe say eighty five thousand a year, this is
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  Speaker 2: for you. Because if you're making under that, you're probably
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  Speaker 2: still pretty feeling pretty stuck and broken. And I can
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  Speaker 2: totally understand that, especially in the United States. Now, I've
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  Speaker 2: lived in the wealthiest places Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, Black Hawk,
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  Speaker 2: and northern California, so I get San Diego very very expensive,
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  Speaker 2: so I get how that is. However, if you're making
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  Speaker 2: enough to make in meat, it never feels like enough,
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  Speaker 2: so we keep wanting more money, and then we get
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  Speaker 2: that raise. Instead of eighty three thousand, now we're making
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  Speaker 2: one hundred and twenty five thousand. Then we're making one
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  Speaker 2: hundred and fifty thousand. They were making two hundred thousand.
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  Speaker 2: We still feel the same way as we did when
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  Speaker 2: we were making eighty thousand, So why is that. Let's
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  Speaker 2: unpack that today, Like we think we're going to feel better,
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  Speaker 2: and then the stress comes right back to us. We
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  Speaker 2: always spend what we make. That's why good habits to
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  Speaker 2: get into from the very get go. Save a certain
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  Speaker 2: amount of money no matter how much you make. I
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  Speaker 2: know we always say we'll save more when we make more,
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  Speaker 2: No we won't. You have to start those strategies now,
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  Speaker 2: like always save five percent or always save ten percent
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  Speaker 2: of whatever you make, or a future for you know,
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  Speaker 2: I usually teach in my coaching business, I teach a
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  Speaker 2: couple different buckets. We always have to have a fun bucket.
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  Speaker 2: We might want a travel bucket and a retirement bucket.
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  Speaker 2: I don't like the word retirement because a lot of
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  Speaker 2: us really aren't going to retire for a long time.
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  Speaker 2: So I just say future bucket. Or I call it
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  Speaker 2: the financial independence bucket, because once we have enough money
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  Speaker 2: in the financial independence bucket and it's making money, they
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  Speaker 2: or radar return or something, and that covers all of
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  Speaker 2: our bills. Guess what, y'all. We are financially free when
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  Speaker 2: our money's making money, so we don't have to work.
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  Speaker 2: That's the goal, right, Okay, So the truth is money.
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  Speaker 2: Making more money does not automatically create relief. It amplifies
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  Speaker 2: the state that you're in. Now. If you're making gobs
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  Speaker 2: of more money, it could feel amazing. You could double
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  Speaker 2: your income in one year, pay off all your debt,
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  Speaker 2: buy a house, all that fun stuff. You're going to
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  Speaker 2: feel a little different. However, a lot of people come
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  Speaker 2: back to me say, but it just came back again.
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  Speaker 2: The next year, the next thing, it just happened again.
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  Speaker 2: So this is where we're going to dive a little
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  Speaker 2: deeper because for many women, it's not just about the money.
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  Speaker 2: It is about what the money represents. Money represents safety
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  Speaker 2: for women, money represents security, it represents freedom, it represents
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  Speaker 2: being taken care of. It represents being valued. If we
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  Speaker 2: have a job and we have a nice income from
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  Speaker 2: that job, we feel valued. If we're getting paid less
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  Speaker 2: than we think we should, we are not feeling valued.
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  Speaker 2: So money always equates to different feelings underneath everything. So
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  Speaker 2: that's why in any of these feelings actually could have
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  Speaker 2: arisen growing up, So not just now, but in our childhood.
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  Speaker 2: Inconsistent money in our childhood it could be tied to stress.
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  Speaker 2: Money could be tied to stress. The money just doesn't
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  Speaker 2: feel like money. It always brings up our emotions and
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  Speaker 2: brings up past experiences that we've gone through. Money is emotional,
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  Speaker 2: It just is we have a relationship with money. And
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  Speaker 2: this is what the financial sector is missing out on,
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  Speaker 2: Which is why I I'm here because I want everyone
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  Speaker 2: to know that you could have the best way to return.
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  Speaker 2: You could have the best financial plan, the best job,
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  Speaker 2: the best boss, the best coworkers, and you could still
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  Speaker 2: be worried about your zeros. So Please don't beat yourself up.
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  Speaker 2: But let's fix it. It's not about the zeros, it's
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  Speaker 2: how you feel about holding the zeros. Now let me
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  Speaker 2: share with you as well. We all have a money temperature,
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  Speaker 2: And yes, we started this money temperature growing up our household,
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  Speaker 2: when we grew up with money. Do we have a
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  Speaker 2: higher temperature of money. We did not grow up with money.
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  Speaker 2: We have a lower temperature of money. That temperature is
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  Speaker 2: like a balance. So I always have everyone when they
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  Speaker 2: come to me first time, I want to know what
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  Speaker 2: their magic number is that they want in their savings
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  Speaker 2: account that they keep in their checking in savings that
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  Speaker 2: they can they have access to the entire time. Everyone's
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  Speaker 2: magic number is different. It might be five thousand to
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  Speaker 2: just cover the mortgage and some household bills. Then it
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  Speaker 2: might be ten thousand because they have a bigger house,
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  Speaker 2: more cars. It might be twenty thousand because ten thousand's
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  Speaker 2: gone monthly. It might be thirty thousand, Like everyone is
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  Speaker 2: a little bit different on their magic number to make
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  Speaker 2: them feel safe and secure and in control of their finances.
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  Speaker 2: So when we say all feel better when I have
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  Speaker 2: more money, what we're really saying is all feel safer
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  Speaker 2: all feel more secure, all feel more in control. I'll
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  Speaker 2: finally be able to relax. That's a tough one because
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  Speaker 2: that means that you're stressed out most of the time.
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  Speaker 2: Here's the truth, y'all. If those feelings weren't there before
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  Speaker 2: the money, they're not going to arise because of the zeros.
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  Speaker 2: Don't don't dull. Let me say that again. If those
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  Speaker 2: feelings are not there before the money, money does not
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  Speaker 2: automatically create them. I promise you it does not. It
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  Speaker 2: might give you a short burst of relief, but it's
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  Speaker 2: not going to be long lasting because it's your relationship
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  Speaker 2: with money that doesn't change just because the number changes.
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  Speaker 2: Let me say that again. Your relationship with money does
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  Speaker 2: not change just because the numbers change. So you bring
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  Speaker 2: this same relationship to money no matter how many zeros
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  Speaker 2: are in the bank. That's how I've been a financial
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  Speaker 2: advisor for a long time, and then I realized I
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  Speaker 2: kept meeting with different people and a lot of women.
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  Speaker 2: I can sit there and give them an amazing financial plan.
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  Speaker 2: They're never going to run out of money. They could
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  Speaker 2: even spend so much more than they thought they can spend,
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  Speaker 2: and they're still just as stressed as the people that
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  Speaker 2: are barely making it. And so I'm like, okay, it's
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  Speaker 2: not about the zero. It's really about how we feel
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  Speaker 2: about the zeros, how we feel worthy of that money,
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  Speaker 2: how we feel what the zeros are going to accomplish
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  Speaker 2: for us. So if money felt stressful before all those
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  Speaker 2: extra zeros, it can still feel stressful even with more money.
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  Speaker 2: If money felt uncertain before, it can still feel uncertain
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  Speaker 2: with more money. If money felt pressure, it could still
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  Speaker 2: feel more pressure with more money. And this is where
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  Speaker 2: it's not about the zeros really comes in because we've
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  Speaker 2: been taught to believe more money equals better feeling, more
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  Speaker 2: money equals joy moren I'm looking at all the commercials.
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  Speaker 2: You're driving on that car, and you're gonna have a
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  Speaker 2: love life now right. You buy this and you're gonna
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  Speaker 2: be healthy, like all this commercial retail stuff that we see.
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  Speaker 2: It equals more stuff, and more money to buy stuff
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  Speaker 2: makes us happier. Not true, not true. But what actually
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  Speaker 2: creates a better feeling is your state. Your emotions, your
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  Speaker 2: feelings create that feeling of security and well being. Your
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  Speaker 2: sense of safety is how you feel, it's your state
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  Speaker 2: of mind, It's how you're feeling. In your emotions, your
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  Speaker 2: sense of trusting yourself, how you feel about trusting yourself
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  Speaker 2: and your self's decisions, your ability to feel in control
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  Speaker 2: is huge way before the zeros come. For a lot
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  Speaker 2: of women, this is where old patterns show up, not
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  Speaker 2: because anything's wrong with you, not by any means at all.
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  Speaker 2: It's because you've been carrying things like needing to be careful.
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  Speaker 2: Did you need to be careful in childhood? Could you
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  Speaker 2: not say what you thought? Did you not have a think?
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  Speaker 2: Do you not have a voice? Did you need to
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  Speaker 2: be careful walking on eggshells around the house? Did we
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  Speaker 2: always want to make the man of the house happy?
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  Speaker 2: Did you raise in a single parent household so you
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  Speaker 2: didn't want to put any more stress on that parent?
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  Speaker 2: Did you always need to get it right, to get
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  Speaker 2: it perfect? That was me want I was a total perfection,
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  Speaker 2: not wanting to mess it up, never wanting to make mistakes,
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  Speaker 2: meaning you're not going to do a lot of things
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  Speaker 2: because you don't want to try something new in case
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  Speaker 2: you would not do it perfectly or you would mess
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  Speaker 2: it up. Feeling responsible for everyone else, trying to trying
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  Speaker 2: money to stress or survival, tying money sorry, tying money
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  Speaker 2: to stress or survival. So does money equate to your
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  Speaker 2: whole childhood survival? Did parents stress out about money? And
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  Speaker 2: did they walk around we're broke? You know? Did that
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  Speaker 2: stress you out? We're going to be homeless. There's little
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  Speaker 2: comments that parents can make. They not meaning to do that,
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  Speaker 2: but they can make little comments like, oh my gosh,
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  Speaker 2: you know this month is going to be tight. No no, no, no no,
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  Speaker 2: And we take that on as children, and those patterns
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  Speaker 2: do not disappear just because money increases. That is embedded
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  Speaker 2: in our subconscious, that's in our body, that's in our
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  Speaker 2: money muscle, that is in our emotions. They just come
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  Speaker 2: with us in a relationship, just like well we had
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  Speaker 2: an ex boyfriend in high school or an ex girlfriend
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  Speaker 2: in high school, That relationship comes with you in all
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  Speaker 2: your relationships, right, same thing with money. So instead of
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  Speaker 2: asking how do I make more money so that I
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  Speaker 2: can feel better, the better question is going to be
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  Speaker 2: how do I feel better with money now so that
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  Speaker 2: more money actually feels good when it comes? How do
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  Speaker 2: I make how do I feel better with more money now?
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  Speaker 2: So the more money feels really good when it actually
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  Speaker 2: comes because your emotions shift first, then more money becomes
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  Speaker 2: easier to manage, easier to keep, easier to grow, and
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  Speaker 2: most importantly, easier to enjoy and have fun with. And
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  Speaker 2: it's again the F word. We've got to have fun
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  Speaker 2: with money all that's why we want to have it.
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  Speaker 2: And this is where everything we've talked about comes together.
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  Speaker 2: So you use the diamond reset. This is what are
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  Speaker 2: we in chapter I can't remember five, six, I don't know,
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  Speaker 2: but yeah, five. So I want you to be able
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: to go back to the other chapters and understand what
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  Speaker 2: the diamond reset is. To calm your body, we are
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  Speaker 2: going to stop breathe, feel our body, and shift our
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  Speaker 2: body into something better on the emotional scale wherever we're at,
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  Speaker 2: going to shift it up. So using the Diamond method,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to gently move our thinking over time and
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  Speaker 2: we're going to build our diamond life. Pree C's which
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  Speaker 2: is clarity, control, and confidence. I want you confident around
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  Speaker 2: your money and that's what actually makes money feel better.
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  Speaker 2: So we can do that now. We do not have
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  Speaker 2: to wait for zeros. It's not about the net amount.
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  Speaker 2: It is about the relationship. So if you're ready feeling calmer,
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  Speaker 2: clear and in control, the more money will feel amazing.
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  Speaker 2: I'm telling you amazing. A couple years ago, I doubled
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  Speaker 2: my income. Just came out of blue. I came out
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  Speaker 2: of the blue. It was awesome. It felt so great.
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  Speaker 2: And if you're feeling stressed around money and overwhelmed or pressured,
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  Speaker 2: more money often just gives you more to think about,
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  Speaker 2: more to manage, and more money to worry about. So
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  Speaker 2: here's a little game. If I were to you all
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  Speaker 2: have your money journal out right, so we're gonna take
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  Speaker 2: We're gonna my nose is so itchy today. Okay, we're
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  Speaker 2: going to take this exercise and we're writing in our
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  Speaker 2: money journal. So you open up the door. I want
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  Speaker 2: you to write down your very first thoughts after this
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  Speaker 2: little story. You open up the door and there's a
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  Speaker 2: great big treasure chest and it's full of money for you, diamonds, gold,
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  Speaker 2: just full of money. And on the top it says,
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  Speaker 2: this is yours, all yours to keep. Taxes are already paid,
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  Speaker 2: this was all legal, it's all yours. Enjoy and have
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  Speaker 2: fun from the universe or wherever you want it to
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  Speaker 2: be from. Write down right now what your first thought is.
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  Speaker 2: This is a big deal because this is where your
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: nervous system gets attached. This is where it stands up
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: to show you what's happening. Write down the second thought,
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  Speaker 2: write down the third thought. Then I've played this game
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  Speaker 2: in my workshops a lot, right, and so I've had
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  Speaker 2: everything from oh my god, grab that money get in
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  Speaker 2: the house. They're scared to death someone's going to take it. Now,
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  Speaker 2: they're scared it's illegal. It just brings up so much
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: stress for them. Now they don't know what to do.
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  Speaker 2: Honey's worried to them. I have other people I'm like, awesome,
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  Speaker 2: bring it in, start counting it, start buying stuff, enjoying it.
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  Speaker 2: Then I have another sector that brings it in, calls
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  Speaker 2: a security guard to come over, helps them take it
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: to the bank. Like they start getting in action to
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  Speaker 2: be secure, in safety and happy the entire time. So
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  Speaker 2: everyone does this very differently. But what I want you
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  Speaker 2: to do is write down your first and second third thought.
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  Speaker 2: That's where your work is. Because if you weren't happy
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  Speaker 2: about free money that was completely legal and tax free
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  Speaker 2: and it's all yours and money could buy whatever you
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  Speaker 2: were worried about, that's where our work is. Does that
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  Speaker 2: make sense? I hope it makes sense. Your body is
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: consistently asking, constantly asking one thing, am I safe? So
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  Speaker 2: if you got that treasure chest at that door and
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  Speaker 2: you started worrying about someone taking it, you do not
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  Speaker 2: feel safe with money. So you want to get that
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: money in the bank as soon as possible, but you're
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: probably not going to trust the bank. I have a
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: client that doesn't trust anybody or anything, so she's always
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: checking so much and always thinking of the negative, and
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: always thinking of how can I get hurt with this?
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  Speaker 2: On everything, on everything, it's her first go to lens
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: that she pushes everything through, or she filters everything through.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Is that you do you do that? Do you filter
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  Speaker 2: everything through? I'm not as safe. Someone's going to try
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  Speaker 2: to take this, someone's taking advantage of me. I'm not
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  Speaker 2: going to be able to say, speak my mind, whatever
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  Speaker 2: it is. If money feels stressful and uncertain and overwhelming,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: your system doesn't associate money with safety. So that means
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  Speaker 2: when we have more money, we're just going to be
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: more stressed, more uncertain. We're going to feel way more
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  Speaker 2: overwhelmed when we have more money. In fact, I've even
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  Speaker 2: heard clients tell me I don't even want any more
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: money because it would be way too much to deal with.
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  Speaker 2: That's why you have financial advisors, y'all, because we handle
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  Speaker 2: all the money. You'd bring me all the money and
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: we handle it for you. We help you with your
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: monthly budget, whatever you might need, your spending plan, and
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: then we take care of the rest for you. And
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: people tell me what would I do with that? Would
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  Speaker 2: you that? I'm like, you make that money? I got
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: buckets up the ying yang man. I can find you
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: buckets to put money in, all day long, diversification, all
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: that great stuff. So you get to do the personal
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  Speaker 2: work first to feel safe and secure before the money comes.
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  Speaker 2: If you have money, that it creates with pressure. Now
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  Speaker 2: you have to keep up with the joneses or you
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  Speaker 2: got to buy the right cars or the right houses
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  Speaker 2: or the right whatever. That's just going to be more
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  Speaker 2: pressure to you. When you make the money, you're not
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  Speaker 2: going to know what to buy or how to spend it. Again,
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  Speaker 2: financial advisor will help you so when you have more
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  Speaker 2: of it, your body doesn't relax, It tightens up. It
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: starts scanning everything that would could could have, would have
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: could have gone wrong. Same thing in relationships. If you're
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  Speaker 2: that way with money, you're that way with relationships as well,
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: so you're always looking for something to go wrong. We
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: could be looking for what needs to be done now,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: what needs to be fixed now. Instead of just enjoying
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  Speaker 2: that treasure chest of money, you're worried about what's next.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And that's why more money doesn't always feel better. So
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: this is really important to understand. Most people try to
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: fix this by chasing more money, more income, more savings,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: more strategies, a different person, another financial advisor, but the
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: internal state does not change. The feelings do not change.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: So instead of asking how do I make more money?
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I want you to ask how do I feel with
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: the money I have right now? Do I feel calm?
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Do I feel in control? Or do I feel out
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: of con overwhelm and pressure? Because the feeling is what
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: will scale, and this is where alignment comes back. In
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: alignment is when your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: are all working together. That feels really, really steady and
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: clear in your body. It does not mean everything's perfect,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: never everything perfect, but it does mean you're not operating
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: from panic and that you're and if you're not in alignment,
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: that's okay. We dip in in and out of alignment
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: all the time. You don't want to force it. You
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: just want to know that it's more fun when you
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: can shift back into alignment. This is where all your
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: tools come in. We want to use the diamond reset
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: when you feel pressure, stop, breathe, feel, and then shift
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: into one emotion higher on the scale. We want to
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: remind your body it's safe to slow down. Then we
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: want to use the diamond shift method and ask yourself,
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: wouldn't it be nice if I felt more ease with money?
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: If that feels real good, then you start with I'm
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: starting to feel a little bit more calm about this
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: and money. If that feels good, then we're going to
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: anchor it in more. Isn't it nice that I am
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: learning how to handle this? So we want to start
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: with wouldn't it be nice if I'm starting to feel
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: and it's nice that I am, So we want to
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: shift into those three sentences slowly once we can anchor
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: this in it's nice that I am feeling really good
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: about all the money I have and I'm looking forward
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: to more. That might be your new mantra. When you're
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: not forcing a new belief, you're building and creating a
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: new belief. So as your state changes, your relationship with
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: money changes. You stop reacting, you start responding. You feel
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: more steady, and that's where all the Diamond life three
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: seeds begin to form, because when you feel calmer, you
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: think more clearly, and clarity brings you control. Control brings
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: you confidence. I want you all to be able to
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: have the three c's to live your diamond life, which
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: means financial freedom, joy, love, all the great things that
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: you can ever imagine. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter,
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: stick around for the next chapter, and I want you
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: all to be able to say, I rock my finances.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: subscribe to the Rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K FOURHD
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: It's about the F word, feelings, feelings. Jennifer can't wait
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: say I rock my finances.