Latest / Stronger With Sophie / The Pressure to Be Perfect - Ariana Grande

Transcript

The Pressure to Be Perfect - Ariana Grande · Stronger With Sophie

• 0:05
  Speaker A: Ariana Grande is one of my favorite artists of all time. And I have been following her all the way since Disney Channel. And honestly, she was one of the first concerts I've ever been to.
• 0:15
  Speaker B: Yeah. In New Jersey.
• 0:16
  Speaker A: And it was so fun. I remember, like, I got all dressed up. I actually dressed up as her for Halloween one year in Los Angeles.
• 0:23
  Speaker B: I remember they had all the rings, like the big old row of diamond rings that you could walk through to get into the concert.
• 0:29
  Speaker A: Yeah, it was so cool. And actually, we wanted talk about her today and her comeback story. Well, actually, this is framed a little bit differently.
• 0:36
  Speaker B: Yeah. It's her challenges that she has that she's facing right now or that she has been facing. And I feel like. Okay, just to back up, Ariana Grande has decided to step back from public life.
• 0:49
  Speaker A: Right.
• 0:50
  Speaker B: And I think it's a power move.
• 0:52
  Speaker A: I think it is.
• 0:53
  Speaker B: Because what's happened is she's been facing
• 0:56
  Speaker C: a lot of criticism about her. About body, basically body shame, and just,
• 1:01
  Speaker A: like, her appearance in general. I mean, and this has been occurring throughout her entire career. I mean, people, you know, they just, like, find little nitpicking things to judge about her. But it's especially happened recently, like, within the past two years, because, I mean, this isn't, like, the reason. But after her casting for Wicked, that's when it really started to grow because people started noticing, like, a big change in her appearance and, like, weight loss in her body, and people started making sense.
• 1:31
  Speaker B: Lots of rumors kept flying around about
• 1:33
  Speaker A: her health, about what was going on
• 1:34
  Speaker B: with her, about whether or not she is anorexic or on Ozempic or there are all sorts of crazy rumors about her. And she just said, I'm tired of this criticism. I don't need the judgment. I'm setting aside all the people that are wanting to judge me, and I'm gonna take a step back from public life.
• 1:54
  Speaker A: Right. And I think that's really smart. And that's. That's a very, like. Yeah, it's a good way to handle
• 2:00
  Speaker B: it because I think it's a power move. But here's what I want to know from you. Just talking to you as my daughter, Art, have you faced any sort of, like, body shaming and that kind of thing as a child? In middle school, High school.
• 2:13
  Speaker A: Yeah. And I think I can speak for almost every girl my age. I mean, you know, it. The teenage girl's body is just like something. I mean, it's honestly not even just teenage girls, like, all the way since lower school. Like, it's always just been something that I've been like, self conscious about. And a lot of teenage girls, I mean, there's like studies that show online that tell you that people are like, begun begin like being self conscious about their body like at the age of six.
• 2:42
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 2:42
  Speaker A: And I mean, this goes for girls and guys and it's just like people, you know.
• 2:48
  Speaker B: Well, you. You were in gymnastics?
• 2:50
  Speaker A: Yes, when I was six, I was, I was in gymnastics. And you know, there's like this big mirror and in front of like the floor and we were like, we would do laps around the mirror and like, I'd always like, look and compare myself to like all the other girls on the team. And then they would like line us up in gymnastics and we would have to like line up tallest to shortest. And that was especially when I like started noticing like a difference and not my appearance just like compared to all the other girls. But like, you know, you just notice the difference in everybody. And so, yeah, it started then. And then middle school, obviously, like, people are just like mean and judgmental. And so I definitely faced a lot of criticism then. And then in high school, it's, you know, it's the same thing for everybody. For everybody. You know, there's not like the perfect ideal body and like nobody can obtain it.
• 3:40
  Speaker B: Yeah. And I think that's an interesting thing that you say because you're right. It is absolutely unattainable to have a per. It's impossible to have a perfect body. Everybody who looks in the mirror can find something on their body that they do not like. That they do not like.
• 4:01
  Speaker A: Unless you're like Hellenistic Greek sculpture.
• 4:04
  Speaker B: No, even the people that are considered to be the best looking people in the world, they can look in the mirror and find something to criticize about themselves. And so it's. But it's also interesting that you mention your gymnastics and how you, you started when you were, that was like when you were six years old. But I distinctly remember your gymnastics coach.
• 4:29
  Speaker C: Like, we were like, we want to
• 4:30
  Speaker B: bring the girls cupcakes.
• 4:32
  Speaker C: And the coach is like, the coach is like, no way.
• 4:34
  Speaker B: That's not gymnastics food. That's not a gymnast food.
• 4:37
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 4:37
  Speaker B: And yeah, it was very fascinating.
• 4:40
  Speaker A: I know. And I mean, whenever I was in gymnastics, I didn't eat sweets at all. I mean, it was like a weekend thing. Like once in a while you could have a sweet treat. And I think that definitely placed some kind of just like a bad idea in my head that it's not okay to have sugar and stuff like that. And that's what a lot of kids end up facing. Doesn't matter how old or what sport you're in. People, you know, they try to limit your sugar intake because it's bad for you, but it's also, you know, the motive behind it. I think it's a little questionable sometimes. Whenever you limit. It's unsaid.
• 5:20
  Speaker B: Nobody wants to say it, but hey, I get it.
• 5:24
  Speaker A: No, exactly. And I think Ariana Grande just, like, facing, I think, a lot of the public criticism, especially from being a public figure, somebody who has been in front of a screen for so long and who's, you know, just had interviews and has been in the public and she's
• 5:44
  Speaker B: on stage all the time.
• 5:45
  Speaker A: She's on screen all the time. Intensifies it. Yeah, 100% so much. Because people online. People online, like, talk. They speak their mind. They're not the people, they're not the middle schoolers who are just, like, bullying you a little bit. Like, they're speaking their mind online. And, you know, they're relentless.
• 6:04
  Speaker B: So what do you think we can learn from Ariana Grande's decision to take a step back from public life?
• 6:12
  Speaker A: Well, I think that this is not necessarily like a comeback story. I think she's in the middle of her comeback right now.
• 6:18
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:18
  Speaker A: And I think I can, I can elaborate further. I mean, she doesn't have to, like, have some ultimate, just like, I guess, reinvention of herself for this to, like, become super, I guess, valuable for the listeners and for you guys. She is in the middle right now. She has stepped back and she is, she's doing that for her mental health and for herself. And I think that's. I think that's really powerful. Sometimes you need to do that. Yeah. Just to, you know, block out everybody else so that you can focus on yourself and so that you can, you know, really sort out your priorities. Because the public person's opinion does not matter as much as it appears.
• 6:59
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:59
  Speaker A: You know. So what do you think? What do you think about this?
• 7:02
  Speaker B: I wholeheartedly agree. Well, my thought process is that she is stepping back from public life so that she can really focus on herself and decide what is more important, what's most important to her. And so we don't know what that's going to look like. But you know what? I'm going to bet, I'm going to bet that doing this, she is going to come back stronger.
• 7:25
  Speaker A: Oh, she.
• 7:25
  Speaker B: And she's going to come back in a big way. Maybe not even into public life, but
• 7:30
  Speaker C: for her own life. And her own, her own trajectory of
• 7:35
  Speaker B: what she wants to do with her life.
• 7:36
  Speaker C: That's what's going to change. Because the truth of the matter is
• 7:41
  Speaker B: we all tend to put too much
• 7:43
  Speaker C: value on what other people think of us, 100%. But really, what is the most valuable thing? And this is one thing I want you and your sisters to believe and feel. The most valuable thing is how you feel about yourself.
• 8:00
  Speaker A: That is the most important.
• 8:02
  Speaker C: When you look in the mirror, I don't want you to look at that. What if you feel like you've got. When you get older, you have bags under your eyes, Are you starting to get a wrinkle? I don't want you to see that. What I want you to see is that beautiful person that has, with the, that has the great heart that is kind to people, that is making, trying to make a positive difference in the world. I am really lucky because now, at this age of my life, I have. I do that when I look in the mirror.
• 8:34
  Speaker B: I'm extremely proud of the man that I've become. And I think that that's, that's what I want for you and your sisters. And I think that's where Ariana Grande is heading. I mean, I hope, I think she is too.
• 8:46
  Speaker A: I think this is a very smart move for her, ultimately. And so, dad, what about you? Like, you know, earlier on, high school, college, I mean, did you ever, like, face criticism about your body or.
• 8:58
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah. So that. One of my biggest things is I've always been the shortest kid in my school. When I was, I went to kindergarten. Yeah. When I was in kindergarten, I started off, I was 4 years old and I was literally the smallest kid in school. So I used to get bullied all the time. I used to get beat up. I remember this big old third grader used to beat me up every day.
• 9:22
  Speaker C: Used to.
• 9:23
  Speaker B: Every single day after school. And then when I was in California, there was this kid named Ramon. I was in second grade and he
• 9:31
  Speaker A: used to beat me up.
• 9:31
  Speaker B: And I would go home with black eyes and bloody noses. And it's fascinating because of that. I can't stand a bully.
• 9:40
  Speaker A: Yeah, right.
• 9:41
  Speaker B: I'm really against bullying and I can't stand. And I never want to feel small, Powerless.
• 9:48
  Speaker A: Right.
• 9:48
  Speaker B: And so that has actually shaped my life because I now am a lawyer. I'm a personal injury lawyer. And I stand up to big, massive insurance companies, big massive corporations for. And I stand up for this, for the person that can't stand up for themselves.
• 10:07
  Speaker A: Absolutely.
• 10:08
  Speaker B: And so it has shaped me and it's kind of. It's kind of. It has made me the person that I am today. So. Yeah, I'm not sure how that fits into Ariana Grande's story, but that's. That is.
• 10:19
  Speaker A: No, it.
• 10:20
  Speaker B: That is a.
• 10:20
  Speaker A: Totally does. Because whenever I talk to people, you know, about you. That they'll. I mean, no, not even talk to other people. When I think of you, like, I don't think of, like, the short guy.
• 10:31
  Speaker C: Thank you.
• 10:32
  Speaker A: Like, you're, you know, your personality is a lot bigger, and I think that. And you're a success. I'm not even. I'm not even trying to, like, butter you up right now. I'm just. I'm just being. I'm stating facts. I'm stating facts right now. Like, you've. You've built this huge career that just. That makes you the intimidating one. You know, it makes, like, not the bully, but you're, you know, you're like the hero.
• 10:54
  Speaker B: It's so crazy. Well, thank you so much. But you know what? It really has shaped my life.
• 10:58
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 10:59
  Speaker B: I became a martial artist when I was in. When I was a teenager, and I became the second place in the state of Florida, black belt in taekwondo. And so that's because I didn't want to feel that powerlessness. I wanted to feel stronger. I wanted to feel more powerful.
• 11:15
  Speaker A: Absolutely.
• 11:15
  Speaker B: So I imagine that Ariana wants to feel beautiful. And so she is on a path where hopefully she will be able to look in the mirror. And hopefully she does right now. Look in the mirror and say no matter what they say.
• 11:30
  Speaker A: Yeah. And I think she's on a great path to doing so right now.
• 11:33
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 11:34
  Speaker A: And so I think on that note, so thank you guys so much for listening. I think the biggest takeaways from today are you don't need other people's opinions to feel good about yourself. You don't. And sometimes it's helpful to take a step back and allow yourself to realize that on your own terms. I think that's a big thing. What about you, Dad?
• 11:55
  Speaker B: I think another big thing is you might be like Ariana Grande right now. You may be in the middle of your own competition backstory, and so nobody should ever. Don't ever let anybody count you out. Because no matter where you are right now, where you are tomorrow can always be a better place.
• 12:14
  Speaker A: Absolutely. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. We're on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all your other podcast streaming platforms. So make sure to, like, comment, subscribe, and. Yeah, we'll see you next time.
• 12:27
  Speaker B: Bye, everybody.