Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 259 - Why do we believe our worst reviews?

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 259 - Why do we believe our worst reviews? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:02
  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
• 0:04
  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
• 0:08
  coach. Filled with inspiration,
• 0:10
  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
• 0:13
  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
• 0:16
  of yourself you could ever imagine.
• 0:18
  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
• 0:21
  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
• 0:27
  Hey, everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
• 0:30
  Today's question, why do we seem to believe our worst reviews
• 0:35
  about ourself? So it's really funny.
• 0:39
  We will not take compliments well.
• 0:42
  We do not take positivity well. We want it, we all want it.
• 0:47
  But we always try to diminish it when it comes our way and.
• 0:51
  Over the weekend this happened to me where I went into a
• 0:54
  restaurant and I ran into some people that I hadn't seen in
• 0:57
  quite some time. And, oh, going back, I'll tell
• 1:01
  you a little bit of a story. Back about 18 months ago when I
• 1:05
  had COVID, I lost, actually, I think it was now.
• 1:09
  I was 20210, actually. Yeah, let me correct myself.
• 1:13
  Two years ago I had COVID because it happened in August,
• 1:17
  and now I remember that. So two years ago I had.
• 1:20
  COVID 18 months ago, because of COVID, my hair, a huge amount of
• 1:27
  my hair fell out and I didn't realize that it was part of the
• 1:30
  symptoms. If you have a certain type of
• 1:32
  COVID that you can have your hair fall out.
• 1:35
  So I've never had tons and tons and tons of hair to begin with.
• 1:40
  It's always been relatively thin, but you know, it's hair
• 1:43
  and I love it. So it fell out, and it was.
• 1:48
  Absolutely the hardest thing because you're trying to figure
• 1:52
  out how to style it. You're trying to figure out how
• 1:53
  to do it. And I wear my hair often in
• 1:56
  ponytails or braids to begin with.
• 1:58
  And it was just like my my little braids were just like the
• 2:02
  size of a pencil, if you can imagine how thin that is because
• 2:05
  there was just nothing left in my hair.
• 2:07
  So Fast forward over the course of the last 18 months.
• 2:12
  We've been trying to figure out like, you know, supplements and
• 2:16
  all kinds of stuff to get it to grow back.
• 2:17
  And then eventually it starts to come back and it comes back in a
• 2:20
  completely different texture and it comes back a completely
• 2:23
  different way. And I have this triangle head
• 2:26
  that everything that I look, every time I look in the mirror,
• 2:28
  I crack up laughing because my head looks like a giant
• 2:30
  triangle. And just reminding me of those
• 2:31
  old Bozo the Clown pictures. My girl that cuts my hair is
• 2:35
  trying to figure it out and she's like, we're going to lay
• 2:36
  her underneath. We're going to try to do this.
• 2:38
  We're going to do this because and it was coming in curly,
• 2:41
  which was like. What?
• 2:42
  Seriously. So finally we get it to a place
• 2:46
  where we've got a new style for it and it looks great.
• 2:50
  And I'm still paranoid about it. So I'm saying to you, it looks
• 2:53
  great, but I'm like, just like, I still feel uneasy about it.
• 2:58
  I go out, go into the restaurant, run into people, and
• 3:02
  they see me and they're like, Oh my gosh, your hair is beautiful.
• 3:06
  Your your hair looks fantastic. And in that moment I was like.
• 3:12
  Oh, you know, it's just coming back from COVID, da da da da da.
• 3:15
  And I didn't say thank you. And I paused and I thought to
• 3:19
  myself, why the hell are we so hard?
• 3:21
  Why are our critics inside of us so hard?
• 3:25
  And I actually paused in the restaurant when I was standing
• 3:28
  there talking to them for a minute and thought to myself,
• 3:30
  why didn't I say thank you like it was a nanosecond flash in my
• 3:33
  head. But then.
• 3:36
  We kept talking, showed him a picture on my phone of something
• 3:39
  we had all been working on together, and then I left the
• 3:43
  restaurant. We go to the ice cream, I walk
• 3:46
  into the ice cream parlor and the girl at the ice cream
• 3:49
  counter, who's a young girl, says to me, your hair is
• 3:53
  beautiful. And I thought to myself, wow.
• 3:56
  The universe is sending me a big message right now about why
• 4:00
  don't we accept compliments? What are you doing where you're
• 4:03
  being told something? You're being given a gift and we
• 4:06
  don't accept it because we want to seem to believe the worst
• 4:10
  reviews. My hair is awful.
• 4:12
  It's all falling out. Things that I had heard and I
• 4:14
  couldn't let go of it. I couldn't let go of it.
• 4:16
  So it forced me in the moment about something so simple about
• 4:20
  compliment to really get down to the nittygritty of.
• 4:23
  Well, you're not accepting the compliments and my and my son,
• 4:28
  before we went to go out, my son actually said to me, your hair
• 4:31
  looks really nice, Mom. And I was like, thanks Hun.
• 4:34
  And I said thanks to him because I I always say thank you to my
• 4:38
  son. If your son says something to
• 4:40
  you, you say thank you because you want to encourage that
• 4:42
  behavior for the other women that he's going to meet in the
• 4:44
  world. But in the meantime, I couldn't
• 4:47
  do it internally and I wasn't doing it externally.
• 4:50
  So the point is. You have to learn that you are
• 4:54
  not giving yourself the gift if you're not accepting the
• 4:59
  compliments. You're not giving yourself the
• 5:01
  gift if you are not doing the work behind the scenes in your
• 5:05
  head that says, I will listen to my reviews of myself, but only
• 5:10
  to a certain point. Yes, you're going to learn from
• 5:12
  them. Yes, you take the information
• 5:14
  that you're seeking, but then you have to ask yourself, is
• 5:16
  this real or perceived? Can I actually be?
• 5:20
  Okay with accepting this compliment.
• 5:22
  What can I do for myself in this moment?
• 5:24
  It's going to make it better. And then that's where real
• 5:27
  growth comes in. All right, my friends, I hope
• 5:29
  you have a best, best day out there.
• 5:32
  And please accept the compliments because you guys are
• 5:34
  awesome. And thank you for showing up
• 5:36
  every day. I'll talk to you soon.
• 5:38
  Bye.