Latest / Dr. Danielle Difference / 186. Your Feed Is Discipling You: How to Stay Awake Without Living Alarmed

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186. Your Feed Is Discipling You: How to Stay Awake Without Living Alarmed · Dr. Danielle Difference

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You picked up your phone to check one thing, one headline.
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Somebody sent you a video, and you were going to watch it real quick before you got on with your day.
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20 minutes later, you've watched six more videos.
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You have read the comments, which was your first mistake.
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Now you're mad at people you have never met, worried about something you cannot do, uh, anything about this morning and trying to figure out whether you need to buy something, prepare for something, or warn everybody you know.
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Meanwhile, your breakfast is still sitting there.
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Your kid has asked you a- three questions a gazillion times.
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You have not gotten dressed, and somehow you already feel behind.
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But you tell yourself you're just staying informed.
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Okay.
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Informed enough to do what?
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That is what I wanna talk about today because some of us are consuming so much information that we don't have any attention left for the actual life that God has given us right now.
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We care about our bodies, we care about our country, we care about what's happening in the world, and we want to be discerning.
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And I understand all of this very personally.
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But we also need to look at what this habit is producing in our lives.
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Are you better able to serve the people in front of you after you spend an hour on your phone?
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Are you making a useful decision?
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Are you praying?
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Are you taking action?
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Or are you sitting there wound up scrolling for one more person to tell you what to think?
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You've tried doing all the right things.
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Let's get to what actually makes a difference.
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Welcome to The Dr.
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Danielle Difference.
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Welcome to The Dr.
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Danielle Difference.
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I am Dr.
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Danielle, and today we're going to talk about how your feed is discipling you, what that has to do with your health, and how to stay awake without living so crazily alarmed.
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And yes, we're going to open our Bibles, because if you're going to talk about Christian discernment, we need to spend some time listening to Jesus.
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When I say your feed is discipling you, I mean that you are learn- I mean, you are learning from what you give your attention to over and over again.
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You're learning what deserves your concern, your, who deserves y- your trust, and how you are supposed to respond when something happens.
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Okay?
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Let me give you an example.
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I follow two ladies that used to work for the same company, and I, you know, after a while with the algorithm, I didn't see them for a while, whatever, and then all of a sudden they both start coming
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out, and they're talking about how...
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Like, they're literally talking about each other, and there's, like, this opposition, and it's not like m- Like, it doesn't feel like they're trying to make you, li- choose a side, but really, I ended up unfollowing both of them
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because I'm just like, "What is this doing for me?
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How is this making me a better disciple of Jesus?
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How is this making me a better practitioner for my clients and my members?
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How is this making me better as a disciple for God's kingdom in the future?"
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It wasn't.
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So I want you to think about your pattern, or maybe it's the general pattern, maybe.
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Something crazy comes across your screen, so then you stop what you're doing and you watch it.
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You check for more information.
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You send it to somebody.
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You come back later to see whether anything else has happened, and by bedtime, you have spent a good part of your day rehearsing the same concern, and then you wake up and check it again What do you think
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you are practicing?
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We understand repetition when we talk about other habits.
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You do not expect to get stronger from one workout six months ago, right?
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You understand what you do consistently matters.
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Well, your attention has habits too.
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What you keep returning to becomes familiar, and sometimes we have made fear so familiar that a quiet afternoon feels irresponsible.
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So you sit down and eat, and you feel like you need to check your phone.
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You go for a walk, but you have somebody in your ears explaining everything that's going wrong.
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You get in bed, and now you need one last update before you can go to sleep.
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There is no room in your day where you're just letting yourself stop and not take in information.
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And putting a Christian label on the content doesn't settle whether it belongs in that space either.
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Sometimes someone can mention God, quote a verse, and still be asking you to trust a conclusion the passage doesn't support.
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Remember, we are supposed to test everything against scripture.
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We have to examine what people are saying, and if we...
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In order to even examine, that means that we have to have time and space to then examine how they got there, and we have to pay attention to the fruit of what they're saying, and people that are following
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that.
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A hard truth can make you uncomfortable.
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Conviction can interrupt your plans, and I'm not telling you to reject everything that makes you feel something.
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I'm asking whether the teaching and information that you're getting is helping you understand scripture and live faithfully, or whether you keep needing another video, another video, another video, because the last one has left you terrified.
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So I think we should probably head to Mark 13, okay?
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And you can read the o- your, the chapter in your own time.
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I am going to pull up Mark 13 at the moment, um, on my phone, because I want to just kind of pour into a little bit here.
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I want to start in verse 32, just kind of bring that in.
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It's, uh, it's red letters, and Jesus is talking.
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"But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
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Guys, only God knows.
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God the Father knows when Jesus is coming back Jesus says, it continues and he says, "Be on guard, keep awake, for you do not know when the time will come.
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It is like a man going on a journey when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake.
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Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning, lest he come suddenly and find you asleep.
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And what I say to you, I say to all: Stay awake."
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So I want you to read the whole chapter because the whole context matters, but that is the area, the sections that most people are...
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like hone in on, is the stay awake, and they put this meaning on staying awake as in we have to be anxious and agitated and like constantly im- uh, inputting information.
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But I want to go back in the context.
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This whole conversation begins with the temple.
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The disciples admire the buildings, and Jesus foretells of their destruction, and they ask about the timing and signs.
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His response includes warnings about deception and conflict and suffering, and the need to endure.
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He also makes it very clear that they do not know the day or the hour.
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And again, the chapter ends with this call to watchfulness.
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But let me go back to verse seven real quick.
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I'm gonna head up here to verse seven.
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Jesus is talking still.
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Like, uh, where is verse seven?
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Okay.
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"And when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed.
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This must take place, but the end is not yet."
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When Jesus speaks about the wars and the rumors of wars, he's not saying do not...
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or he says, "Do not be alarmed."
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And later he says, "Stay awake."
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I want to talk about this because it's like, do not be alarmed, but stay awake, okay?
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Jesus is preparing his followers to remain faithful amid trouble.
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He's not giving them permission to turn every frightening report into certainty about a date.
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There are differences among Christians about how to understand the details of this chapter, but we can acknowledge that and still take seriously what Jesus tells the disciples about deception and alarm and readiness.
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You can pay attention to what is happening and still refuse to let every rumor take over your day.
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Some of you, me, have been treating agitation like evidence that you are spiritually awake.
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If you are upset enough, if you have enough information, y- if you can explain what everybody else is missing, then you feel prepared.
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But how are you living while you are preparing?
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Are you telling the truth?
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Are you loving your neighbor?
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Are you doing the work that is yours to do?
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Are you giving your family your attention?
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Are you able to hear someone disagree with you without deciding that they must be stupid and deceived and...
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or your enemy?
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Are you discipling your family?
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Are you discipling other people?
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Are you walking alongside them and pointing them to Jesus and all the things and helping them be raised up and, and sliced at with that double-edged sword?
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Are you allowing yourself being sliced by that double-edged sword?
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Because you can spend three hours studying someone else's interpretation of a headline and still avoid a very clear responsibility in your own home.
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You can know what five commentators think is going to happen next week and still have no idea how your child is doing today.
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How is their spirit?
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I want you to sit with that for a minute.
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Information gives, gives something to do, gives us something to do while we keep putting off something we already know needs our attention.
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You think that if you stop watching, you're turning back on s- you're turning your back on suffering.
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You think you need to s- to keep looking because someone else does not have the luxury of looking away Suffering is real and people do need help.
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There are things worth speaking up about, things worth preparing for, and things that deserve our prayers and our action.
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And I'm not asking you to become indifferent to the, can I just say terrors?
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The things that just give people nightmares.
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I want you to decide what you're going to do with what you know.
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If a family in your community needs a meal, can you bring them a meal?
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If somebody needs help getting into an apartment or to an appointment even, or to at work, can you drive them?
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If there's an issue you need to understand before you vote, can you read reliable information and then make a thoughtful decision?
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If you need to contact someone, donate, volunteer, or have a conversation, then do it.
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But watching the same upsetting clip 15 times does not automatically help the person in the clip.
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It doesn't help the population.
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It doesn't help the political, uh, thing.
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It doesn't help anything because you are just continuing to ingest.
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Feeling terrible for the rest of the afternoon doesn't tell us whether you've served anybody or done anything to help, to help that thing that is actually breaking your heart The honest answer is that you cannot take direct action
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on the particular situation today probably You can pray, absolutely.
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You can remain willing to help if the opportunity comes.
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You can acknowledge that, that you do not have all the information You could also return to your responsibilities with- without pretending you do not care.
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Like, you could do that.
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Like, pretending that you don't care, like, you could do that, but that's not right either.
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But what I want to kind of bring out, because I feel this inside my Wilderness of Wellness, these ladies, and myself even, and I don't know if it's our generation, Gen X, Gen, Gen Y, mi- millennials and Gen
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X, like, we feel, uh, uh, we, we are called to a high level of responsibility, aren't we?
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We're called to a high level of responsibility, but we are not called to carry omniscience.
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We do need to be obedient, but we don't have to know everything happening everywhere to be faithful with w- with what God has given us or put in front of us right now.
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And that's interesting, that carrying of responsibility versus responsibility versus omniscience.
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I want you to just kind of play around with that, because that's something I am, am dealing with myself.
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I'm, like, carrying this, and I'm just like, "Okay, well, I'm not omniscient, but I can work here.
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I'm not omniscient, and I know that there are horrors in the world that I don't even want to know about because it's not mine to carry."
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I don't need to be listening to all these other podcasts telling me how to think and how to do and how to think when, when God directly can tell me Himself.
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He can show me in His Word through prayer, through other people around me, and I don't have to continue to keep intaking information.
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And now, I want to bring this into our everyday life.
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Remember, I keep saying that in order to change, you have to be honest with yourself first.
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You can tell me that you're trying to take care of your health.
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You, you can tell me that you're buying the right groceries, and you probably are.
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You can try to eat better, and maybe you're starting to exercise more.
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Uh, you want to know whether there is something else you could be doing.
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But what does the rest of your day look like?
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Are you staying up late because you keep watching videos?
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Are you eating lunch while reading things that leave you upset?
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Are you skipping the walk you said you were going to take because you caught or you got caught up in another argument in the comments?
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Are you spending the evening physically beside your family while paying attention somewhere else?
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Hmm.
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Yeah.
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When it comes to health, we have to count those habits too.
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You do not get to describe your lifestyle by the three things that you're proud of doing.
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Uh-uh.
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You don't get to leave out the things that you practice every single night.
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Mm-mm.
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If you're trying to protect your bedtime and then spending forty-five minutes scrolling in bed, you know, that, we have to call that out.
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Now, does this explain every one of your health problems?
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Absolutely not I'm not telling you to put the phone away and, or that putting the phone away is gonna fix your thyroid or fix your anxiety, because it probably isn't.
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I want you to look at an observable, an observable pattern What is this habit doing to the time you have for meals, movement, rest, relationships, and your discipleship?
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Start there.
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I don't want you to give me a complicated explanation of what's going on in the world.
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I love a, a conspiracy se- a conspiracy theory like the, like the rest of them, but the difference is I know when to shut off If anxiety is interfering with your sleep, if the politic, the world of the
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politics and, and the morals of our, of our leaders and all of that kind of stuff is, is keeping you up at night, if your relationships, your work, your ability to get through the day is being interfered with,
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then you've gotta think about it Bring trusted pastoral support into your, into your life.
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Prayer and professional care belong both in your life.
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I don't want you to get caught up in thinking that the end of the world is coming, and then yet we're supposed to be...
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We're, we're warned over and over and over again that it's just gonna be more and more chaos, right?
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And yet we're acting surprised, like we can do something about it.
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Okay, then do it.
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Go start serving your family.
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Take care of your body so that you can show up.
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Go take care of the people in your church.
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Go take care of the people in your community.
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Go take care of the people at work.
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Go love on them, and live in a way that your actual life is a discipleship of its own, that people see so vehemently just how surrendered you are to God and His will that all they see is God
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in you, and they want it.
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They're hungry for it.
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Mm.
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Before you watch another video, forward another story, or disappear into another comment section, I want you to think about whether you are being directed toward a responsibility or simply being consumed by the information.
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First, is this source reliable?
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How do they actually know?
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Where did the information come from?
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Can you distinguish the original report with someone's interpretation?
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These are skills that are being lost with AI.
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These skills are being lost on the next generations, and even my generation.
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People are not thinking for themselves anymore.
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Can you tell if they are teaching scripture?
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Can you even tell that?
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Does the passage support what they're saying when you read it in full context?
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You know, confidence is easy to put on camera.
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Fake it till you make it.
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Again, our generations are great at it The problem is, is that when we have to go and verify, it takes us work.
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Verify what they say, it takes work, and we don't wanna do it.
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We just wanna take all of the information...
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I actually listened to a podcast, and I probably shouldn't, but I listened to this podcast, and they call it the TT Times, the TikTok Times, because they literally will not verify anything.
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They'll just take verbatim, and they say this.
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They know it's wrong, but they verba- verbatim will take whatever TT Times tells them.
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And so I don't understand...
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Excuse me.
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I'm leaving that sneeze in because that's real.
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I don't understand when we ca- became a culture that doesn't verify things anymore We don't even verify voter registration or IDs or things.
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We don't even verify, um, credentials for things.
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We just trust.
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It's very interesting how that happens.
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Does knowing more change what faithfulness requires of you today?
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Do you need to know more?
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Sometimes you do.
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You may need to update, um, you may need an update about a local emergency, or you may need in- need information that affects your family or your work.
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You, you...
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Get the information you need.
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But do you know back in the 1900s we only got what was in the newspaper, and we only got, like, not, we did not know everything that was going on in the world at all, any time in the
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hour, any hour of the day.
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We didn't know that But somewhere, I don't even know when this happened, but it's like I need more and more and more and more and more.
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But the more I know, the less action I take, the less I'm actually living it out You probably already have enough to make your decisions and, and know what you need to know, but are you letting feelings getting
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in there?
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You're letting feelings get in there I also wanna know what are your responses?
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After watching all these videos over time and thinking about all this stuff, what are your responses now?
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Do you actually pray or do you just worry about it?
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Do you speak truthfully into those situations?
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Do you even know?
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Do you even know how to or do you just regurgitate what's being told to you?
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Uh, is this information giving you more power or more willingness to serve?
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Or are you rehearsing contempt, assuming the worst about everybody, and looking for the next thing to be furious about?
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You can disagree firmly with someone and still remember that person is your neighbor.
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You know what's funny is a lot of people in this community, uh, call me the safe Christian because they know my faith, they know my standards, and they know I'm not going to judge them in a way that
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condemns them, but I'm gonna encourage them.
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And I'm gonna be very careful of how I say things to them, but I'm gonna love them well Just because they think differently doesn't mean that they're a bad person.
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It means I need to continue to plant seeds and let God do that work.
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And I think the more we consume content That is hateful and scary and whatever, it makes it harder to love people I think that it does.
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It makes it harder to love people, uh, that, that may not, that God may have in your w- uh, in your realm to disciple and to lead to the cross and baptizing them and teaching them.
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I do I want you to think when you're watching these videos or are distracted by all of these things online, your, your, your feed, is this mine to act on, mine to pray about, or mine to release?
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You can pray and act.
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You can care and recognize a limit.
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The, the point is to choose a response instead of letting the next suggested video choose the rest of your afternoon For example, let's say that you read about there's a need of beds in your community, okay?
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Cool.
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So you verify it.
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Awesome.
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Like, there is one.
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So you decide to help on a Saturday, so you sign up and put it in your calendar.
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That information that, about that bed, that need in the community led to a concrete response, right?
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Now, let's compare that with spending two hours reading strangers argue about that, the bed need.
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"Well, they only need a bed because the government won't do this," or, "They only need a bed because their parents are whatever," or, "Everybody should have a bed because, you know, this is how it should be, and how
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unfair is that?"
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We do not need to get into the weeds.
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Just go fix the problem if that is something you're being called to do When you are so sucked into the drama of things rather than getting it fixed, what did that energy produce?
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It didn't produce discipleship.
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It didn't make change.
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It didn't go and serve the community.
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Nothing.
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So let's think about, this week, thinking about some boundaries that you could actually follow.
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So maybe, like I'm just gonna give you some ideas, but the first thing I want you to do, like no matter what, is to give scripture and prayer a place before your feed gets your first attention, and I
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need to do this myself.
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Put the phone somewhere that you cannot pick it up without thinking about opening your Bible.
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Read a passage in your...
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in context, remember context before content, and ask God to help you live faithfully with what He has in front of you.
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Because what's happening is, like people keep saying the excuse, "Well, my phone is my alarm."
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Cool.
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They make these things called alarm clocks that you, you can either plug in or you can wind up.
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Some of them don't even need batteries, guys.
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You can use an alarm clock.
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Put your phone next to your Bible in the morning so you...
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so it's there.
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I don't want you to think about, I don't want you to think about, um, like all or nothing, but when it comes to all or nothing, it's Jesus or nothing.
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It really is.
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And then I think, like what would be smart is block scheduling a time to check the news.
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Maybe you need, um, like a window of time that you check the news.
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Like, "Okay, cool.
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I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go down my rabbit holes.
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I'm just gonna check this," and then set a timer.
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And then leave.
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Once you have that timer set, leave And I think also, I, I'm, I'm literally thinking off the top of my head, so that's the morning, right?
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But then what about bedtime?
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Bedtime is usually when people have the hardest time giving up the news and get- giving up the, the rabbit holes and all of that.
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I almost think that we need to change the setup of how we go to bed.
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Give yourself a chance to finish the day without putting more stories in your head before you go to bed.
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Maybe charge your phone somewhere else.
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Use a separate alarm, all of that.
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Maybe that will help you.
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And then you can actually replace some of that scrolling time with, I don't know, eating a proper meal, going for a walk, finishing the task that you've been sitting there looking at.
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Sit with your husband or your friend or your parents and listen to the child's whole story without looking down at the screen You may feel the urge to check it again, and that, that doesn't mean that the boundary
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is wrong.
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It means you have a familiar habit, and now you're practicing a different response.
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You're trying to change that habit, and you're gonna feel that.
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I actually bought a brick, and I'll put the link in the show notes as well, but I bought a brick, and it has changed how I use my phone.
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Um, I need to start setting up...
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When I get more into a rhythm, I'm actually gonna set up automa- automated bricks, um, where my phone is actually bricked from social media and work at certain hours so that I can actually be present with my kids,
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but now I manually brick and manually unbrick.
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If you don't know what that is, please check it out in the show notes.
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It has literally changed my life about all of these things.
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So I want you to just continue to think about that any good habit requires repetition.
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One good morning doesn't, like, say, "Oh, I'm fixed.
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I'm good to go."
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Even one week, even 30 days.
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Temptation is always around.
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You know, the enemy is around.
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He's a, like, a prowl- a prowling lion that just wants to seek, kill, and destroy, and it's going to sit there, and this is part of why I built Wilderness of Wellness, because we talk about taking care of
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your health.
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I actually want you to do it.
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I want you to do it in your real life.
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I want you to, like, like, actually be present with the meals you eat, the movement you get, the rest that you keep postponing, the habits you practice when nobody's watching, the responsibilities you say that matter to you, whether
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your daily choices are helping you or showing up for them.
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Like, this matters to me.
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For me, this is all about stewardship.
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This is all about health.
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God has given you a life to live and people to love, and caring for your health helps you participate in that life.
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We get a place, we need a place where we can take that seriously and tell the truth about what's happening and work on putting into practice what we're learning.
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That is the kind of faith-based health discipleship I want Wilderness and Wellness to support.
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We bring our convictions into ordinary decisions, ordinary decisions that we're doing.
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We examine our habits and examine, um, like, what kind of guidance we're getting, and then we accept that guidance, and we practice it, and we show up again and again and again and again and again.
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Some of you need that support because you already have plenty of information.
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You save posts, you listen to the right podcasts, you have the right books, and you could explain what you intended to do, but you keep arriving at the end of another week having done very little of it.
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You do not have to keep trying to work out by yourself or work out all of the decisions and the functional medicine and the root cause stuff all by yourself.
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Inside Women's Wellness, we have the pathway, the coach, and the community to help you work on your nutrition and your lifestyle and bring your questions into the process, and you're actually going to get, like, personalized attention.
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Like, we're, we know you.
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Anybody on our team is going to learn to know you, but you're assigned a coach, a care c- a care coordinator, and a clinician.
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We are working on you.
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So if you recognize yourself in this episode, join us in Wilderness of Wellness.
28:38
Go to the Women's Wellness link in the show notes and then enroll.
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Come ready to participate and ask questions and practice what you're learning.
28:46
You do not need to get your habits perfect before you come because that is not ideal, and we want to...
28:52
That's not actually honest, and we want to work and g- get you in the right space before you ever get moving, 'cause we build everything on the foundations.
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Your hurt, your, your hurts, your habits, your hangups, your lack of being able to be honest because you've always had to wear a mask out in public for everybody else, and inside you're dying, it deserves a space.
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Your family deserves your attention, and the life you keep saying you want is going to require some different choices in the life you are the life that you're currently living right now.
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So before you open another app today, I want you to choose a boundary.
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Decide when you're gonna go and check the news or your feed or whatever.
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Put the phone away during dinner.
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Leave it out of your bedroom at night.
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Pick one.
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Just follow through, please.
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And then give your attention back to something you've been neglecting.
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You already know what some of those things are, and I probably have umpteen million of them.
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You can be informed without being discipled by your, by your feed.
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You can care about the world and still be present in your own home.
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Just stay awake.
30:01
Take your responsibilities seriously.
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Let what you believe about God shape how you live the next hour of your day.
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Make sure you subscribe to the Dr.
30:10
Danielle Difference and check out the show notes to join us in the Wilderness of Wellness, and share this episode with somebody who could use this conversation as well.
30:18
I'll talk to you next week Be sure to subscribe to the Dr.
30:21
Danielle Difference so we can keep this conversation going.
30:24
Check the show notes for resources and ways to join me and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
30:29
Let's lock shields and move forward together.
30:31
I'll talk to you next week