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Understanding and Persevering Through the Darkness and the Delays in the Process of Spiritual Realisation · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  When we are confronted with difficulties, we employ several
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  different types of responses, mainly depending on instinct,
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  habit, training and the play of the three gunas, the qualities
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  of nature, satwa, rajas and tamas.
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  Sometimes we respond with more effort, sometimes we lapse into
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  depression, and sometimes we take a longer range view and
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  accept the process and the necessary time.
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  It is a very frequent occurrence for spiritual seekers.
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  They have an opening and get what are called experiences of a
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  new consciousness. It could be a lifting up of the
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  awareness above the head. It could be the descent of a
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  force into the being. It could be an opening of the
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  psychic being with an accession of aspiration, devotion,
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  consecration, or it could be any number of what are called
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  psychic experiences that shift the mind out of its narrow range
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  and limited ways of seeing and thinking.
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  There are countless types of these experiences beyond the few
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  examples provided here. The seeker comes to embrace the
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  process, feels the enthusiasm and encouragement that these
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  experiences provide, and redoubles his dedication to the
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  path. Then there comes a time when all
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  of the experiences recede into the past, and the seeker has
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  what is known as a sense of dryness, a sense of absence, a
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  sense of darkness. As the work of the sadhna takes
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  place in the being, old thoughts, habits, responses,
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  reactions, feelings and impressions may come flooding
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  into the being as the force systematically touches all the
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  hidden, locked up cellular memories and patterns, brings
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  them forward in order to expose them and eventually change them.
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  Many seekers feel like they have somehow lost touch with the
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  spiritual force that they experienced and they lapse in
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  many instances into a depth of despair or depression, a sense
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  of failure and uselessness of the effort.
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  The dark night of the soul is a well known and described
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  phenomenon. This becomes something of a
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  tipping point for seekers. They sometimes get discouraged
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  and abandoned. The course in some instances
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  take up the external life fully and try to forget the experience
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  and the aspiration that they were responding to.
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  Eventually, if they are truly ready and called to the quest,
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  they will suffer setbacks, disillusionment, and a feeling
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  of uselessness in the pursuit of power, wealth, sex, enjoyment of
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  various sorts in the outer world, will feel the emptiness
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  of wasted time, dissipation, or the stupefying effects of
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  alcohol, drugs, tobacco, et cetera.
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  At that point, they may return to the quest.
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  If this does not occur in this lifetime, then in the next.
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  Sri Krishna in the Bhagwad Gita assures Arjuna that no effort
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  toward realization and spiritual growth is ever truly wasted or
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  lost. Many, however, continue on.
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  They recognize, in some cases the need for patience,
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  persistence, and perseverance. They observe the changes and
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  fluctuations and treat them as part of the process and use them
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  to work on the needed transformation of the body,
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  life, energy and mind that can bring the spiritual change
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  through them and into their external actions.
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  Some live purely on faith, having had the experiences.
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  They know there is a reality to the spiritual life and they
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  simply abandoned their egoistic desire for individual attainment
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  to accept the time, place and circumstances that the Divine
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  places before them. Srioro Bindu observes quote.
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  There is always something that either carries us on or forces
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  us on. This may take the shape of
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  something conscious in front, the shape of a mastering
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  spiritual idea, indestructible aspiration, or fixed faith,
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  which may seem sometimes entirely veiled or even
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  destroyed in periods of darkness or violent upheaval.
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  But always they reappear when the storm has passed or the
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  blackness of night has thinned and reassert their influence.
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  But also it may be something in the very essence of the being,
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  deeper than any idea or will in the mind, deeper and more
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  permanent than the heart's aspiration, but hidden from
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  one's own observation. One who is moved to yoga by some
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  curiosity of the mind, or even by its desire for knowledge, can
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  turn aside from the path from disappointment or any other
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  cause. Still more can those who take it
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  up from some inner ambition or vital desire turn away through
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  revolt or frustration or the despondency of frequent check
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  and failure. But if this deeper thing is
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  there, then one cannot permanently leave the path of
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  spiritual endeavour. One may decide to leave the path
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  but is not allowed from within to do it, or one may leave but
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  is obliged to return to it by the secret spiritual need within
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  Him. All these things are common to
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  every path of yoga. They are the normal
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  difficulties, fluctuations and struggles which come across the
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  path of spiritual effort. End Quote.
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  Reference. Srioro Bindu and the Mother
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  Looking from Within, Chapter 4, Ordeals and Difficulties, pages
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  73 to 74.