Latest / Authentic Living / Leading Those with Invisible Disabilities with Jason Reid

Transcript

Leading Those with Invisible Disabilities with Jason Reid · Authentic Living

0:01
Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
0:08
things that really matter in our lives.
0:11
And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
0:36
Hi, everyone.
0:36
It's Roxanne Durgesh of authentic living with Roxanne.
0:39
Today, I have a special guest I'm gonna say he's my speaker coach.
0:45
He's my colleague of Capps, and he brings a lot of wisdom with him.
0:49
And, his name is Jason read.
0:52
Jason, thanks so much for joining us today.
0:54
Oh, you're welcome, Roxanne.
0:56
I'm excited to be on the podcast.
0:58
Now Jason brings a lot of, expertise in the speaking field but what I was interested in us
1:03
spending the time with this around, he does keynotes on invisible disability.
1:10
So, Jason, I want you to tell people a little bit about, first of all, you and, a little bit
1:15
specifically about, kind of the talk that you do on the wall start into talking just about,
1:21
you know, the invisibility of this, the disabilities that people experience and kind of
1:25
what your expertise is around that.
1:28
Yes.
1:29
So invisible disability is it's not new, but it is a new thing for a lot of businesses and also
1:36
for a lot of of people who are actually, getting invisible disabilities because we're
1:41
talking now about depending on the study 30 to 40% of the workplace now has some sort of
1:48
invisible disability, which could be a chronic illness.
1:51
It could be a mental health condition.
1:53
And then there's also these areas of what we call neurodivergence, which are ADHD, autism,
1:58
learning differences, that sort of thing.
2:01
And, you know, for me, I guess I was kind of a pioneer in a way, particularly in the, in the
2:08
chronic illness category because when I was eight years old, I actually got, both Crohn's
2:13
disease and arthritis, which are both autoimmune diseases.
2:17
Okay.
2:17
Which which means, you know, for those of you who aren't familiar with that, your immune
2:21
system attacks parts of your body.
2:23
So for Crohn's disease, it attacks the gut the digestive system.
2:28
And for arthritis, it attacks the joints.
2:31
So, you know, I got this when I was eight and kids are pretty adaptable.
2:35
So to be honest, it it didn't have that big an impact on me or that that you might think for
2:42
an eight year old.
2:43
But once I started working in organizations and bureaucracies, and this is a while ago too.
2:48
So there wasn't a lot of flexibility and there was almost zero understanding of these sort of
2:53
invisible illnesses.
2:54
So what people used to think was if somebody was sick, you know, you would be able to see
2:59
that they were sick.
3:00
So people tended to be very suspicious of anybody with an invisible illness, and this was
3:06
something that I not only received from, you know, employers, but also, you know, growing up
3:11
sometimes with teachers or relatives, But, really, I think the big impact was, you know,
3:17
when I was in the workplace and I started realizing, wow, unless I get people to
3:21
understand, you know, where I'm coming from and my issues here, it's gonna really impact my
3:25
career.
3:26
And I was lucky enough, I ended up working at I was in television, and I ended up working at a
3:31
place called the weather network.
3:33
Canadians will probably know the weather network.
3:36
And, they were a really fantastic company, and particularly my boss, he was the first person
3:42
who really, I had a lot of trust with, and he asked me a lot, you know, about my illness, and
3:48
they really tried to as much as possible give me a certain amount of flexibility, which isn't
3:52
a lot in live television, but as much as they could, And I think the big turning point came
3:58
when, they asked me to become head of news and information content for the network.
4:02
And I had seen my predecessors burn out in that job because you can imagine 24 hour news.
4:07
It's it's a busy job.
4:09
But my boss said this.
4:10
He said, look, Jason, we want you to do the job the way you can do it.
4:13
Obviously, there's results we want you to guess, but how you get those results is up to
4:18
you.
4:18
Make it work.
4:19
Which is like the best thing you could possibly say to somebody with an invisible disability.
4:24
And here's where it gets interesting because what I thought was going to be the thing that
4:28
held me back actually turned out to be, kind of my superpower in a way because I was open and
4:35
honest with my employees about my own illness, and they became open and honest with me about
4:40
theirs.
4:40
And I started to realize that almost half my department had some sort of invisible
4:45
disability, like so many staff, and nobody had known about that before.
4:49
So by being open and then by having just a very flexible approach to accommodation.
4:55
We were able to make huge strides in both productivity and quality of work.
4:59
So that's kind of what I sort of preach now is this idea of bringing it out into the open and
5:04
also recognizing just the small flexibility and the things that we can do once we understand
5:09
invisible disability that makes a huge difference when it comes to productivity.
5:14
And, you know, and and when you talk about that, right, because with me being a mental
5:17
health specialist, that's all that's been something that has always been a struggle.
5:21
Right?
5:21
When an employee goes off, they've got they've had an issue with anxiety and depression or or
5:26
say substances or whatever.
5:27
And there's like a a hush over the crowd when people come back to work.
5:33
Right?
5:34
And then, you know, people say, well, you know, what should I say to them?
5:37
And, you know, oftentimes in consulting, we would say, well, if if someone had cancer, or,
5:44
you know, something else going on for them.
5:45
What would you say to them?
5:46
You'd say, you know, how you doing?
5:48
You know, how you making out you know, is, you know, is there anything I could help you with,
5:53
whatever?
5:54
But with the the element that you're talking about when it's invisible, that conversation
5:59
becomes difficult because it depends again if it's if it's mental health, of course, that's
6:03
that whole stigma.
6:05
But for you, like, I mean, I've met you had you not shared this with me?
6:09
I would not have known, Jason.
6:11
Yeah.
6:12
You know, so it has to yeah.
6:13
That's the element of of trust, which clearly you are with an employer that was able to
6:18
demonstrate some kind of safety that allowed you to say, Hey, I've got this, you know, kind
6:23
of situation.
6:24
Can we talk about it?
6:25
But I I wonder how many employees might kind of feel like that now.
6:29
Like you said, if 30% of the workforce you're saying is having an issue with a invisible
6:34
disability.
6:35
I'm not so sure if we've come up really far along with the openness with sharing some of
6:39
the things.
6:41
Yes.
6:42
You know, we have made some some would say superficial and some would say more significant
6:47
strides in terms of being open about mental health.
6:51
But you're you're correct in that.
6:53
I think a lot of people, there's there's still a stigma there and there's still a fear there.
6:58
And here's the interesting thing.
6:59
I think the more much like mental health, the more we talk about it, the more people realize
7:05
they're not alone.
7:06
And they may realize that the boss that they're frightened about trying to explain this to,
7:11
maybe that boss has an invisible illness too.
7:14
One of the things that I I've suggested to some companies, if the people are comfortable with
7:20
it is to almost have, like, mentors like, have people in sort of more senior managerial or
7:26
supervisory roles who actually, you know, come out of the closet so to speak and say, hey.
7:30
You know what?
7:31
I'm a diabetic And, you know, I'm dealing with, you know, managing that and managing my job, or
7:37
I have Crohn's or lupus or whatever.
7:39
It's It sounds frightening.
7:41
And for some people, it is, but I think once we make those steps and just bring it out there,
7:48
that it's gonna be so much easier to talk about and then so much easier to work around it
7:52
because you won't have that additional obstacle.
7:55
And, you know, the thing is with accommodations.
7:57
Right?
7:57
Like, when we think about accommodations, I think when I was teaching at university, and I
8:01
would get these, you know, IEPs where I would have to have quiet rooms that have to, you
8:06
know, make sure the person had the right environment to be able to write test.
8:09
And then I'm talking, you know, 20 years ago, which was like, you know, at first, as a
8:14
professor, you're like, woah, this is, you know, and then you realized that those
8:18
individuals really it was that space that allowed them, they did very, very well, that's
8:23
not having the knowledge or not sharing the information that's needed to adapt the
8:28
environment that becomes difficult, And then in turn, people then say, like, you know, how come
8:34
Jason was off again?
8:36
He seemed he looks okay.
8:37
I don't see Jason acting any differently.
8:40
And now he's been not a we.
8:42
He's back, and I don't know what's what's wrong.
8:45
With with managers or leaders, when when you're kind of, you know, doing your keynotes on this
8:52
topic.
8:52
What kind of suggestions do you have for managers that are uncomfortable with invisible
8:56
invisible disabilities What kind of things do you suggest that they start to consider in
9:01
reference to skills, in in kind of dealing with employees that might have an invisible that
9:07
they know, but maybe the employee is a little bit more timid and coming forward.
9:12
Well, you know, in terms of the human side, and a lot of what I talk about rather than the
9:17
academic side of chronic illness, is that real human side of manager employee interaction?
9:23
So, you know, obviously, you know, the big thing we have to start out with is trust.
9:27
And trust comes from, you know, 2 major things.
9:30
One is being as honest as possible as you can with people.
9:33
And, obviously, as managers and leaders, sometimes we can't disclose everything, but,
9:38
you know, people know when someone's giving them the around and when someone's being
9:43
straightforward.
9:44
So if you're straightforward, that's obviously a plus in getting people to be open.
9:48
Volulnerability, like, what you disclose about yourself again, you know, you don't have to
9:52
disclose everything, but, you know, if an employee sees you being vulnerable in
9:56
disclosing, you know, a challenge about yourself or maybe even a family member who has
10:00
an illness, they're more likely to come forward.
10:02
But I think the third key thing for building trust is as a manager, never promising anything
10:09
that you can't personally deliver on.
10:12
And this works in, of course, all different aspects but particularly with chronic illness
10:17
because sometimes, what managers do is they wanna help so badly that when somebody comes
10:22
into their office with this challenge, They'll promise them the world because they want the
10:26
employee to have these solutions.
10:29
And then they will go to, you know, somebody who's higher up, whose decision that actually
10:34
is, and they may say, well, no.
10:35
We don't do that.
10:36
Our policy is this other thing.
10:37
So then once you go back to that person and say, yeah.
10:39
You know this stuff?
10:40
I promised you.
10:41
We can't do that totally kills trust.
10:44
So that's kind of the first level of making sure you've got that trust there.
10:48
And then in terms of difficult conversations in general, I think one of the key things that
10:53
that managers in particular need to realize is if an employee is approaching you, about a
11:00
disclosure or accommodation or anything else.
11:02
This is not a business problem to them.
11:05
I mean, it is to you as the manager, but to them, something much more serious.
11:10
They're thinking about their livelihood being at stake and maybe even, obviously, their
11:14
health being at stake.
11:15
So because of that, there's this level of emotion that often begins conversations that
11:20
managers are kind of leery of.
11:22
Right?
11:23
And there's a reason to be leery of it because those emotions in that fear, because really the
11:27
emotions fear, is basically an obstacle between you and that person.
11:31
So what I suggest is actually counterintuitive to what a lot of managers are taught.
11:36
A lot of managers are taught that to be a proper manager, you need to be patched
11:40
emotionally and cool.
11:41
And but I I can guarantee you when a person comes in and they have that energy, if you're
11:47
start to be standoffish, that's gonna make that energy worse.
11:50
It's gonna bring that fear up rather than bring it down.
11:53
So I'm a big believer in the good human being.
11:57
Thing.
11:57
So just acknowledging, hey.
11:59
You know what?
12:00
I understand this is probably a very difficult thing for you to go through right now, and this
12:04
isn't just a business problem with for you.
12:06
This is something more fundamental.
12:08
So let's chat and let's see what we can do to to move this along.
12:12
Just acknowledging the fact that they're going through something serious is is really huge in
12:17
just bringing that emotion level down and being able to have that conversation that both the
12:22
manager and the employee wanna have, which is okay.
12:24
How do we how do we manage this?
12:26
You know, it's interesting that you say that regardless of the issue is because you know
12:30
that I talk a lot about return on relationship, which is already about you know, we bring such,
12:35
ever, like, all of us.
12:37
Right?
12:37
Like, in our worlds, there's so many things, like, you know, with me, I'm from Trinidad or
12:42
you know, growing up in a rural spot moving here as a foreign in everybody's identity is so
12:47
unique.
12:47
And then in bread and that is things that people are dealing with and that comfort to be
12:54
able to say, you know, I, you know, I wasn't well because my lupus flared up and, you know,
13:00
you know, I couldn't get out of bed.
13:01
I was in pain and those types of things because maybe physically, you're not seeing that.
13:06
And then, you know, and then for the employ the employee, I guess, the manager to say, you
13:11
know, tell me more about that because, really, if you don't know about what's you know, some
13:17
invisible disabilities about, and you're not understanding the person's reality to your
13:21
point, Jason, then it becomes, I don't know, you know, I don't know what that's supposed to
13:25
be.
13:26
And that conversational piece seems, you know, like you said, would drop the person's guard a
13:31
bit because person to person, they know they're being listened to, and what's what's their
13:37
reality is important.
13:38
And then in turn, instead of going to performance, kinda eventually getting to the
13:42
point where you have that softer conversation about how can we help you out, you know, based
13:47
on days that you're having tough times or whatever.
13:50
How much do you think leadership teams know about or senior levels know about, invisible
13:56
disabilities compared to say visible disabilities, because I know we've come a long
14:00
way with visible disabilities.
14:02
What what are you seeing out there in the kind of different environments and different
14:06
workplaces in reference to, invisible disabilities?
14:11
I think the recognition is obviously becoming a little bit greater.
14:16
One of the interesting things, you know, on a personal level is I started doing these talks
14:20
10 years ago.
14:22
And 10 years ago, these talks were a very hard sell.
14:25
People had a general interest.
14:27
Oh, that might be nice.
14:29
But there was there was no budget, and you can usually tell what a company's priorities are,
14:33
when it comes to budgets.
14:35
And this has now become a top priority with a lot of companies.
14:39
They want to know more.
14:41
So I think in that respect, there's been a huge change.
14:44
The other interesting thing that I note on a a more personal level after I do these
14:49
presentations, sometimes, you know, when I talk to managers, there's a lot of experience and
14:55
skill level there that they're not necessarily tapping into.
14:59
So when I told my story about how, you know, having to deal with, an invisible illness kind
15:06
of became my superpower as a manager because these skills that I developed, I had another
15:12
manager say to me, hey.
15:13
Look, you know, I I I didn't realize this, but because my children have learning disabilities,
15:19
learning differences, you're absolutely right.
15:21
I have a lot of personal experience in this that I can bring to my job that I had never
15:26
thought of.
15:27
And now I'm going to think about it.
15:29
I'm gonna think about the things that I can draw from my personal life to actually use to
15:34
help my employees.
15:36
So like I said, I think there's more experience out there than people necessarily give
15:40
themselves credit for.
15:42
So hopefully that's something that that people start to recognize too that, the things that
15:47
they've gone through, can actually provide valuable experience to them guiding them going
15:53
ahead and dealing with other people who have the same issues.
15:57
So for the person that's out there and I would say that sometimes stigma makes us stay quiet,
16:05
right?
16:06
And, yeah, like you said, we're coming along, but even with, in my realm with anxiety, like,
16:12
you know, the mental health realm, we're coming.
16:14
We're, you know, today's mental, Bell's mental health day for the Canadians that are
16:18
listening, We, you know, it's it's it's front and center.
16:21
We have people talking about things, but the average employees sometimes may be more on the
16:26
on the medical versus the mental.
16:28
Let's say the mental health, we're we're we're kind of putting that card on the table.
16:31
We're we're trying to destigmatize those types of things.
16:35
But with the employee that's listening and said and and is is afraid to go forward, from your
16:40
what words of wisdom would you share with them.
16:43
I think that's very, very important for you to speak to them directly about what kind of
16:48
things you might have struggled with And then what steps you took, you know, a very long time
16:52
ago to start, you know, going towards your employer?
16:56
Yes.
16:57
So disclosure is one of the they're really big issues.
17:01
Right?
17:01
And when you have an invisible illness or it really have any disability, you can usually
17:07
think of a whole bunch of reasons why you don't want to disclose, right, stigma, fear of being
17:12
passed up for promotions, fear of people seeing you differently, But I usually suggest, you
17:17
know, to people that there are two good reasons why they should disclose.
17:21
Number one is, you know, the company often can't bring to bear, its resources to help you
17:28
unless they know what's wrong.
17:29
So that's kind of the obvious thing.
17:31
But number 2 and this is the thing that we don't talk about enough, and it is as,
17:37
inevitable as death and taxes, and that's this.
17:41
In lieu of actual information, people will create their own stories.
17:45
That's just human nature.
17:47
Mhmm.
17:47
So if your performance is starting to decline or, for instance, if you're on medication
17:53
that's making you irritable and you're having fights with your, other employees, people
17:58
aren't just gonna ignore that.
18:00
And it's not like people aren't going to talk about it, but if they don't know the reason
18:04
why, they're still gonna talk about it, but they're going to come up with their own
18:07
stories.
18:08
And let me give you a great example of this.
18:10
I had a friend of mine who was a manager in an organization.
18:13
She had quite a large team, and she had a chronic illness as well.
18:17
And she had a flare up, and she recognized that she'd have to take about 3 months off for short
18:21
term disability.
18:23
And she had told her own manager had basically said, hey.
18:26
You know, just let my let my team know.
18:27
I'll be back in a in a few months.
18:30
And, you know, she went to do her thing, but here's what happened in her absence is, higher
18:35
ups at the company, decided that because of confidentiality, and there's a difference
18:40
between confidentiality and secrecy, that nobody would be told the reason for her absence
18:45
So her employees came in one day.
18:46
She wasn't there, and they said, well, where is she?
18:48
Well, we can't tell you.
18:49
And the next day passed and the next week passed, And do you think people just accepted
18:54
the fact that their boss was suddenly mysteriously gone?
18:56
No.
18:57
They started talking about it.
18:58
So she was getting phone calls from people thinking who had thought she may have been
19:02
fired or there were stories that she'd been suspended or stories that she was near death.
19:08
And these are, unfortunately, the things that happen when people don't know the information.
19:14
So keeping that in mind, sometimes it's good for people to have some sort of, you know, idea
19:19
about what's going on with your health.
19:21
Now that being said, one other thing that people are afraid of is sharing too much.
19:25
And I'm always a big believer on the need to know principle.
19:29
And this is key.
19:30
You know, even if you're just having a disclosure conversation with your boss, it's
19:33
very easy to overwhelm a manager with all sorts of details about your condition.
19:38
So what I suggest to people is they actually practice with family members, having this
19:43
conversation, and telling just getting just enough information that the manager will have,
19:48
you know, enough information for them to make the decisions they need to make.
19:52
So, you know, keeping the information minimal on a need to know basis is a benefit just
19:58
because you don't wanna overwhelm people, both emotionally and also logically.
20:03
And I and I, what you what you did, talk to earlier is that As the employee, I'm coming,
20:08
and it's my life.
20:09
Right?
20:10
So I've got all the stuff.
20:11
And if I've not shared it before and I'm concerned, like you're right, My performance
20:15
maybe has been waning a bit.
20:16
Maybe, you know, I've been having some more misdays and my productivity is down.
20:21
All those things.
20:21
So I'm a bit overwhelmed.
20:23
I don't wanna lose my livelihood.
20:25
And I'm I'm finally mustering up the courage to share it.
20:27
And if I haven't, I mean, it's gonna come out kinda backwards probably.
20:32
So I think I like that that you could just think through what what are the top 3 things
20:36
I'd like to share with my manager.
20:38
You know, what is the impact of my, you know, invisible disability and kind of how has it
20:43
been impacting me?
20:44
And just practicing that.
20:46
You're so right because then you take the emotion potentially out of it, not completely,
20:50
but at least you bring it down a bit.
20:52
That allows the other person to go, I I I get it.
20:54
So how can I, how can I be of service, or how can I help you so that if we could figure out
20:59
what skills do you need, or what kind of accommodations do you need, and we can come
21:03
with a win win kind of thing versus the manager, the supervisor, kind of, telling you
21:07
what they think you should be doing, being more collaborative?
21:11
You know?
21:11
Yeah.
21:11
I mean, if you give people too much detail, they're left wondering which of these details
21:16
is most important.
21:18
Right?
21:18
And they may pick on something that you say that's actually kind of irrelevant.
21:22
So you need to do your own prioritizing on what details are the most important for the manager
21:27
to know.
21:28
Absolutely.
21:29
Now, you, have done this keynote.
21:32
You're saying almost, 10, 10 years now.
21:37
Do you find that certain sectors, or is it that there's a broad brush of, people recognizing,
21:44
that they need this knowledge now?
21:46
Yeah.
21:47
You know what?
21:47
It really has sort of come from, a trickle to almost a flood.
21:52
So, you know, I I can't really say that there's, you know, looking back on it, you
21:57
know, this particular year, it was this industry.
22:00
But what I'm noticing for myself right now is it's a lot of the larger organizations and
22:06
both, organizations in governments, those type of organizations as as, you know, for profit
22:13
enterprises.
22:14
So most of the, most of the client Kino clients that I've had have been basic global
22:21
organizations or, national or provincial governments.
22:25
Those seem to be the big ones right now.
22:27
And recently, I was doing some research, on neurodiversity.
22:30
So I wanted to chat a little bit about that because I think what we're recognizing is with
22:36
neurodiversity, just such breath and depth.
22:39
And, so I was, you know, educating myself a bit more and, what I recognize is a lot more
22:44
employers realizing that these these individuals have such a sometimes supreme
22:50
skills at certain parts of their organization that they're looking at now as a, a benefit
22:57
versus kind of how am I going to you know, what am I gonna do with someone that's got, you
23:02
know, ADD or, you know, maybe they're on the spectrum or whatever, and they're fitting them
23:06
better recruiters I've I've, from the research that I was doing are recognizing that, and
23:13
they're able to recruit sometimes some of the best talents for certain sectors based on this
23:19
neurodivergence.
23:20
Whereas before, it was like, oh, well, you know, you've had somebody that has an issue.
23:24
Now it's like, how is it that we actually source, individuals out?
23:28
And, of course, things like IT and coding and all those things a lot more people are
23:33
recognizing that, you know, we wanna track people with these skills versus be in the past.
23:38
It would have been like, you know, how do we kind of manage them so that data impact
23:43
productivity, which has been it was inspiring to read a lot of the things that I was reading,
23:48
about the the area.
23:50
Yeah.
23:50
It really is a fascinating area because, you know, for people who may not have much of a a
23:55
background or reading about this, the whole kind of neurodivergence movement was this way
24:00
of looking at things that used to be considered disabilities Mhmm.
24:04
And looking at them basically saying, okay.
24:06
These people's, are people whose who have brains that work differently.
24:11
They don't work less efficiently, but the problem is because they're different from the
24:16
norm, all of our systems and the way we've set up our policies and ways of working are geared
24:22
towards this, I don't know, say 90% majority So these people are just as efficient and and
24:27
effective, but the disability comes in and that they're working in a system that doesn't
24:31
necessarily take advantage of how their brain works.
24:34
So once you make that mental shift, like you say Roxanne, you know, a lot of opportunities
24:40
open up you're, a leader or you have an organization to hire people who are really
24:46
exceptional at what they do and then making sure that they have that environment that
24:50
allows them to bring that, exceptional value to the organization.
24:55
And I think it's such a benefit, right, because if you really look at it, if you're saying that
24:59
30% of your population I forget that has some kind of, invisible disability.
25:06
That's a that's a significant amount of people.
25:08
And if your if your fits is based on that 90% with that certain brain, the quote unquote, the
25:14
normal brain or whatever that is, How much are you missing if you're not kinda looking at your
25:20
system, from an aerial shot?
25:22
Because really, different parts of your business would require certain subsets of
25:26
skills that might be fit, but better fitted with somebody with a certain, you know, like,
25:32
newer divergence or somebody that can focus in a different way.
25:36
I I'll give you an example.
25:38
This is, you know, talking about relatable, Jason.
25:40
Like, so one of my very best friends so we met at the gym and, you know, young ladies and
25:47
whatever.
25:47
And then she gets pregnant.
25:48
She's beautiful baby boy and whatever.
25:51
And I have my son a little bit later, so my son had never watched TV for 2 years of his life.
25:56
All he would watch were things, baby moats are, baby Einstein, everything.
26:00
I just did I tried to do that.
26:03
So one day, my my friend comes over with her son, he, you couldn't tell, but he was
26:07
autistic, highly functioning autistic, but was autistic.
26:11
So they, they come over for a play date with my son, right, who's, I think, 2 at that time, and
26:17
her son's probably about 6.
26:19
So I thought, well, why not, you know, moms can have a visit, and I'm gonna put on this movie,
26:25
and they're gonna the boys are gonna enjoy it.
26:27
Well, guess what happened?
26:29
Talk about a lack of knowledge.
26:31
So here we are.
26:32
And, the, the boys are watching it, and, you know, RJ's always mesmerized, and he's, like,
26:37
right in with every, everything that's going on in the screen, every sense, and he's right into
26:43
it.
26:43
And at the same time, he is watching this with Mitchell, who's my friend's son.
26:49
He freaks out.
26:51
Because what had happened for him is because these movies were made with all the sensory
26:56
inputs.
26:58
He need he he's already got a lot of sensory input going on, but it was probably the time
27:04
that all his senses were lined up.
27:06
And he was so up, and I was devastated because I hadn't thought about it, right, not having
27:12
been around that.
27:13
And it was it was interesting.
27:14
It was it was talk about having those personal experiences.
27:17
So what has started to happen is for all of us as their our friend groups, we were thoughtful
27:24
at birthday parties.
27:25
If there was, you know, too many things that was over stimulating, we would try to kind of
27:29
ensure that he was taken care of so that he was okay because we're not thinking about all these
27:35
things.
27:35
Right?
27:36
And, you know, and even my son, as he grew, he would say, This is my special friend Mitchell.
27:42
He's very lovely, but at times, he can be sometimes he's a bit different, but he's my
27:47
friend.
27:47
So even my son, as he grew, started to kind of understand what he was like.
27:52
And I, you know, I think I'm sharing that story because for me, I was remiss because I was
27:56
like, I I felt sad, but it taught me how I needed to learn something a bit different.
28:02
And that, you know, I'm just thinking for employers, if you look at it as something as
28:06
innocent as that, and you take that information.
28:09
And, you know, what what breadth and depth could you get give to your employee base if
28:13
you're if you're ready to take things into consideration?
28:16
You're absolutely right.
28:18
And this it's constant learning.
28:19
You know, I have a little bit of of a lead.
28:24
I'm a little bit of a pioneer because of what I've been through, but, you know, in doing what
28:29
I'm doing around invisible disability, particularly with new things like
28:32
neurodivergence, I'm learning new stuff all the time.
28:35
And I think again with managers and leaders, we have to give ourselves a bit of a break.
28:40
I think it's important to learn about these things, but when we make a mistake, and when we
28:46
feel like we've had this failure.
28:47
Oh my goodness.
28:48
I can't believe I did this, and I should have done that, to not get too hung up on it,
28:53
because what this does is make us worry more about ourselves than, you know, the person
28:59
going through the event.
29:00
So, you know, for instance, when I was, when I was a a manager, I went into a hiring meeting,
29:06
and I was 5 minutes late because new news is busy and it was kind of a TV studio.
29:10
And all of the other managers were there plus the, the young lady that we were interviewing.
29:14
I did what I always did.
29:15
I went up and said, hi.
29:16
My name is Jason.
29:17
I'm the news manager.
29:17
I stuck up my arm, and it just seemed like my arm was frozen for a few seconds, and then I
29:22
came to the realization that this young lady didn't have a right arm.
29:27
Now, of course, she ended up shaking my hand her her left and said, pleased to meet you.
29:31
I sat down.
29:32
But guess what?
29:32
Do you think for the next half an hour that I was concentrating on her and her answers, or do
29:37
you think in my own brain, I was going, oh my god, Chase.
29:40
How stupid was that?
29:41
How silly did you look in front of all these people?
29:44
Right?
29:44
We make it about us.
29:46
So I like telling the story, like, straight off when I when I do these keynotes because it just
29:50
gets everybody to relax a little bit.
29:52
It's like, you know what?
29:53
It's messy.
29:54
We're not gonna be perfect in our reactions.
29:56
We're all still learning.
29:58
This is something that we're not, you know, for the most part, we didn't grow up being taught
30:01
in school.
30:02
So just have an open mind, learn, and adapt, and move on, and don't, you know, beat yourself
30:08
up over stuff.
30:09
And we're all gonna make mistakes, and we have to be gentle and kind.
30:12
I with anything else with all with all the diversity.
30:15
And I think, you know, we are in a time which I it feels like such an open time that we're
30:20
willing people are willing to learn.
30:22
And you talked earlier about having ambassadors, right, or people that share their
30:27
stories at the different levels of the organization.
30:29
I think if you can find people that are willing and, to share those, what a gift you would give
30:35
to someone that's maybe struggling, that maybe growing up, they, you know, they felt
30:40
marginalized or whatever, and then they so therefore, they kept quite more.
30:44
If you have these, ambassadors in your organization, what a what a gift you would give
30:48
to anyone that's really wanting to be a bit more transparent about what they're going
30:52
through.
30:53
Absolutely.
30:54
Jason, for everybody I know they're probably thinking, wow.
30:56
He's been doing this for a while.
30:58
And, my organization needs it, or I need to, you know, chat with him about, where I'm at or
31:06
your some of the keynotes that you do, tell everyone where they can reach get a reach you
31:11
or get a hold of you to be able to chat about the possibility of you doing some work with
31:15
them.
31:16
Yeah.
31:16
So it's I'm very easy to find.
31:18
Just in your URL type invisible disability speaker dot com.
31:24
So I have that URL.
31:25
I'm also number 1 on Google.
31:27
So if you look up invisible disability speakers.
31:29
I usually pop up, and you can access my website, see what I offer.
31:34
I also have a that I wrote 10 years ago, thriving in the age of chronic illness and
31:38
disability.
31:39
So that's there for your perusal as well.
31:41
Well, thank you so much for your time.
31:44
So what am I learning, or what did I learn a bit different today?
31:48
I think just to, try And if you fumble or if you fall, just recognize it, try to ground
31:56
yourself to focus on the person in front of you.
31:59
So you don't lose the time and you learn something different about someone that you
32:03
could maybe help out someone in the future.
32:05
So for anyone listening, if you're wanting to learn more about how to get connected.
32:12
I speak on authentic leadership, and, I have my new book coming out In about 6 weeks, it's,
32:19
return on relationships, how, authentic leaders can amplify their skills.
32:24
So If you're looking for some support, just reach out to me at chat with roxanne.com.
32:30
Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Sam, creating the space for positive healthy
32:36
change.
32:37
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
32:43
rocksandirhaj.com/blueprint.
32:47
We'll see next time on authentic living with Roxanne.