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When do some narcissists stop caring about their kids? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  What was another episode of the narcissist code?
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time to see my
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  face or hear my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and they use my platform on social media to
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  raise awareness for NPD, get more people in the therapy and
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  also validate the victim, survivors and thrivers of said
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  disorder, said Toxy. People said toxic traits Today's
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  episode is going to be about when do narcissist stop caring
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  about their children. We knew some narcissists.
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  Y'all this is it doesn't speak for all Narciss.
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  I know how I got some other stuff for Narciss or some other
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  people watch my videos and they get super angry like Lee don't
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  speak for us. I'm not speaking for everybody
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  speaking in general but some narcissists.
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  So before we hop in today's episode, y'all make sure you
• 0:47
  check out the self love brand. I love me.
• 0:49
  This is the I'm worried. This shirt right here just kind
• 0:51
  of represent where you all and yourself love and heal it and
• 0:53
  grow. The journey links in the
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  description of every single video and podcast that I do.
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  So yeah, welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. So when do narcissists stop
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  caring about their kids? So let's get this out the way
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  first, Do narcissists care about their kids?
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  So me speaking personally, speaking in general terms,
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  y'all, I do think that some narcissists actually do care
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  about their kids. Do some not care at all?
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  Yes, there are a lot of narcissistic people out there
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  talks to people who will abandon their kids, who don't care about
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  their kids, who might feel like the only reason that they are in
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  their kids lives. It's because of obligation and
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  reputation, not because of love. It's I feel like they they love
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  their reputation, you assume, but they're they feel like
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  they're obligated to take care of their kids and if they don't
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  then their reputation could struggle.
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  You see what I'm saying? So some narcissists, the people
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  do feel like they are obligated to take care of their kids to be
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  in the kids lives, but some of them do just do not y'all but me
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  personally, I do believe that. Me, I care about my I love my
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  kids. I love my kids since day one.
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  Though I struggle sometimes. Yes, I do struggle, but I
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  absolutely love my kids. I would give my life for my kids
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  now. Yeah, I would definitely would.
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  And the crazy thing about this is this is super personal and
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  people might judge me for this, but I used to struggle with
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  that. Like when I give my life for my
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  kids or my family, Like I used to struggle with that.
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  That's how selfish, that's how this selfish mindset that a lot
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  of narcissists people have. I used to struggle with that,
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  but now I've been there for so long, I've gained more empathy.
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  I would own a dime, you mean? Without a doubt.
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  Right now, just like me or my sons or my daughter, I'm go,
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  I'm, I'm about to here immediately.
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  And that might come naturally to a lot of people.
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  But when you have this selfish, narcissistic mindset that I've
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  had for 30 something years, it's hard to just fathom sacrificing
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  yourself on somebody else, even though it's your kid.
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  You see what I'm saying Now? I absolutely would.
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  You know what I mean? I would take somebody else's out
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  of to my. I would take somebody else out
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  of here for them. I would always do that.
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  But just like, will you sacrifice yourself for there.
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  What I you know what I mean? Now I'm just like, yes,
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  immediately. Right now.
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  Absolutely. Yes.
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  I'm gone. I'm out of here.
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  You know I'm out of there. I'm gone.
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  Big racks, you know, like seriously, I do love my kids.
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  But some Narcis don't care Y'all.
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  But the ones who do care, some of them might care at the
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  beginning, but then they their care goes away.
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  It's like when they keep because like yeah, a lot of people don't
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  realize it's. But kids are a form of like, it
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  can be a form of just like unlimited supply for
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  narcissists, especially when they're young.
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  You mean I can get supply and validation for and from this
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  child, you know what I mean? I can get this child validates
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  my existence. Especially if this child is cute
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  and bubbly and fun and people want to be around it or and
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  stuff like that. You know, the child looks up to
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  me. I'm the I'm the child's role
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  model. The kids role model and things
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  like that. So some narcissists enjoy that
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  the supply that they get from their kids, you know, some of
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  them don't care again, but some of them do care when they get
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  the supply. So Lee, what the title of the
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  video saying? When do they stop caring?
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  So when did narcissists stop caring about their kids?
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  Most of the times when they're If a narcissist isn't going to
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  abandon the kids, they stop caring when the child gains any
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  type of autonomy over itself over their selves.
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  When the child kind of wakes up and starts having a personality
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  and starts making decisions on their own and starts saying no
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  to their parent, to that toxic narcissistic parent or start
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  standing up to them. Then sometimes they fall in love
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  with those kids. And they will discourage those
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  kids when a child gains autonomy.
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  Because at first the the kids don't know, the kids are just
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  happy to have a mom or dad this toxic, they don't know that the
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  parent is toxic. They just like, oh, it's my mom,
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  oh, it's my dad. Oh, it's my parent.
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  This is the parent that I have. You know, this is absolutely the
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  parent that I have. So it's just like they love
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  their parent. But then they started realizing
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  their parent is kind of out there a little bit, kind of
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  spaced out and kind of toxic. They might start the the kid
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  might wake up and just like, yeah, I'm not going to listen to
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  you very much because you kind of toxic and you manipulative.
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  The kid starts to realize who the narcissist is and the the
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  kid starts to have their own personality.
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  And a lot of narcissists don't like that.
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  They don't like when the kids get have any level of autonomy
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  over themselves, like the kid can take care of itself.
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  Now the kid is not super dependent upon the narcissist to
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  take care of it. You see what I'm saying?
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  To take care of them so when they get, when a kid gains
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  autonomy, the nurses feel like there's no need for me to be in
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  the kids life anymore. The kids stand the the child is
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  standing up to me now the child might be talking back, the
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  child, it seems like the child doesn't respect me anymore so
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  they will make they might discard those kids or to remove
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  the love from those kids. They want those kids to always
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  fight for their love. And when a kid feels like, oh
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  I'm not fighting for your love, no more discard phase.
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  You know they'll make you regret it.
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  You're going to regret it. You're not going to have a
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  father or mother in your life. Now I'm I'm abandoning you.
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  You see when the kid gets any type of autonomy, another
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  another time when the narcissist can stop caring about their kid
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  and this is right here is up for debate.
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  I know this one is going to be up for debate because how it is,
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  I know, I know it's going to be very, very sensitive topic.
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  It's going to be up for debate. But when the other parent gets
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  autonomy over their own life, like the other parent wants to
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  break up or get divorced or separate from the narcissistic
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  person to quote UN quote, break the family up, the narcissist
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  removes can threaten to or absolutely remove the love from
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  the child. You know, the narcissist can
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  remove the love from the kid and from the other parent as well.
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  So oh, you going, oh you can break the family up then I'm
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  not. I don't want the kids.
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  If you leave me, then you're leaving the marriage.
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  If you leave me, you're leaving the kids.
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  If you leave me, you're making sure the kids grow up, You grow
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  up, the kids grow up in the one parent household, that type of
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  stuff. So they will remove the love
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  that they have from that child at that moment in time as well.
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  You know, when that child gets any type of autonomy over itself
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  or when a parent, other parent just decides, I'm done, you
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  know, I'm done. I'm done with the relationship.
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  You can be in the kids life, but I'm done with you.
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  So the nurses says no my way or the highway and typically they
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  take the highway. You know, some people stay to
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  keep the family together, but others, you know, they dip out
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  of like look it's your that's your choice.
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  If you don't want to be here because I don't want to be with
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  you, then that's your choice. You know, that happens quite a
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  bit right there. It happens right there just in
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  that space and within that dynamic or whatnot.
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  So it happens. So you have to be prepared for
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  that. That's, you know, be prepared to
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  pivot, you know, because they absolutely will threaten to
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  abandon the kids. Like another time when they will
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  abandon or stop loving the kids or remove the love from the kids
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  is when they feel like the kid has turned on them and chosen
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  the other parent. When it feels like the kid has
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  picked one parent or the over the other and starts loving or
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  showing more love to the other parent and kind of removing for
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  the narcissist, you know you have to be this.
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  This could absolutely be underneath the same roof in the
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  same household. Then the narcissist might be
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  like you know what, since you don't need me, since you love,
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  you love your mom or you love your dad more, be with them, you
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  don't need me and they'll start treating the kid badly.
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  They'll remove the love, affection and care from that
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  child because their feelings are hurt, because they they go into
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  this childish dynamic. This child is mindset of now you
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  don't need me. Then you have, you have the
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  other parent in these spaces right here.
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  You have the other parent, you have this going on, you have
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  that going on. So they'll blame the other
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  parent for this, for these mishaps that are going on, for
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  these mishaps that happening. You know what I mean?
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  So be prepared for that as well. Because once the the kid grows
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  up, and if not even they only have to be grown.
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  This can be a six or seven or eight-year old kid.
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  This doesn't have to be in their teens.
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  They can if they feel like their kid has started to show more
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  love or picking the other parent.
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  Absolutely. Love removed, you know what I
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  mean? Love removed, time removed.
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  You know what I mean? Another moment when they can
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  remove the love or stop loving their kids is when the kids grow
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  up and don't need them, you know what I mean?
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  Or when the kid, the kids grow up and have that autonomy over
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  themselves. When they're in their teen and
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  teenage years and they start standing up and having a voice
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  of their own, are you talking back?
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  And this is by it's like you you they when you don't want it.
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  When that narcissistic person feels like the kids are not
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  automatically respecting it like the default, you know the
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  typical is the mindset of like there's a default respect this
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  is supposed to have for your parent.
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  So if if if they feel like that default respect is removed then
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  they feel like they need to remove the love or you don't
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  respect me, I'm your parent. You need to do what I say even
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  when you're 1617 eighteen years old grown adult then or when you
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  become a grown adult now 16/17/18 don't make you super
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  grown. I guess 18 makes you grown
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  technically. But you know when you're an
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  adult young adult 2025, they still feel like you need they.
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  They still feel like that their respect is supposed to be there.
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  Just that that you know their obligatory respect, original
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  respect. I'm your parent.
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  You owe me this. You know when that's when they
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  you know the last moment I was talking about y'all.
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  When they feel like the supply runs out, they give them the
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  kids or the kids feel like they feel like they, the kids either
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  embarrass them or something like this is going to suck right
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  here. Y'all and I hate even have to
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  say this but sometimes they would.
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  Yeah, when the supply runs out, it could be because the kid, you
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  have a disabled child, child is disabled or not.
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  Perfect, quote UN quote perfect. And the narcissist mindset, the
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  narcissist will remove the love and discard those kids.
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  They just will. The kid's not perfect, you know?
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  It's so it's not on me. I don't want to be there because
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  it makes the like narcissist life harder.
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  You know, they're not perfect in the narcissist eyes and it
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  reflects badly on the narcissist.
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  And because the narcissist, if you come out disabled and when
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  the child comes out disabled, the narcissistic person starts,
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  they feel like it might be their fault that the child is
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  disabled. So they need to get away from
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  the shame it brings them shame. You know, I'm not and hell no,
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  I'm not making excuses for anybody that abandoned abandons
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  their kids. I'm just telling y'all some of
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  the reasons it goes on side. The mind of a narcissist, like
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  the child comes out of disabled or something like that, or
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  imperfect in the narcissist's mind.
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  Yeah, they'll they'll discard those kids.
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  Y'all they just they're just one of the things that some
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  narcissist will do. You're not perfect by and it's
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  horrible. It's damn there, it's damn
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  there. Evil y'all.
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  It's repugnant, you know, But it's the mindset of some
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  narcissistic people. You're not a perfect specimen.
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  You got to go, you embarrassment.
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  You got to go. The supply runs out, you got to
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  go. Some narcissists, y'all don't
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  care about the kids, and some of them we'll remove the love from
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  the kids when they feel like the supply has run out.
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  All in all, all these make narcissistic people, the
• 11:08
  narcissistic people who abandon the kids are horrible people and
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  I won't take that back. This is I take my mind.
• 11:15
  Anyways. Y'all I know this video was
• 11:18
  touchy, touchy subject. I'm thankful for.
• 11:20
  Y'all be here. Bless those kids.
• 11:23
  Love you kids. Love on them you know Just keep
• 11:25
  loving them. Kids regardless of the toxic
• 11:27
  parents in their life or not. Be safe.
• 11:29
  Take care of yourself like and subscribe.
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