Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Feminist Movie Friday: Boy Meets Girl

Transcript

Feminist Movie Friday: Boy Meets Girl · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I'm welcome to stuff I ever told you, protection of iHeartRadio,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: and welcome to another edition of our feminist movie Friday.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: This is we're interrupting our religious series, but it will
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: be back. There's so much more to go over. We
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: were just talking about it.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: There's so much more.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: But because of the intensity, yeah, and so much research,
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: we just need breaks every now and again because it's.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: A loss, and we imagine you listeners do too. Yes,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: And that's actually in keeping with the movie that we chose,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: which is Boy Meets Girl, but a brief content warning
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: for discussion around self harm disordered eating. I don't think
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: we really talk about it, but it's mentioned in the movie,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: so I just put it down some problematic language. But
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: we are because of the continued attacks on the trans community,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: we wanted to pick a movie about trans people with
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: trans people in it, and this one came up a
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: lot because, as we'll get into in the themes a
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: bit more, a lot of people said, you know, this
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: one was a nice one because it has like a
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: happy ending. It's not about sad things. It's just kind
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: of a rom com. It's got it serious moments, for sure,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't like this super heavy thing that a
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: lot of movies about trans people are, so I had
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: never heard of it. I really enjoyed it.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, yeah, it's one of those things where
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: you see a lot of queer movies being very sympathy porn.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: It's, you know, the idea that we have to live
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the horrors.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: People live horror and that's the only thing we want
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: to know about them, and instead of that, we get
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: to celebrate coming of age story sort of for the
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: main character.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: It's very quick, so the plot goes so quickly. That
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: was like, wait, what that was?
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: That was fast?
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: So that was one of the things that did kind
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: of get me that I was like two days in damn, Okay,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: you know what, Maybe I just wasn't adventurous enough in life.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Maybe we will talk about that too. And I did
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: love because it is based in Kentucky. It's based in
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: the South, and it's got like a small town element,
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: and I know we'll talk about that a little bit later.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: But I was like, yeah, I can relate to a
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: lot of this. Oh and also if like we're kind
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: of it's a bit messier throughout the plot. It's because
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I couldn't find. Normally, I have like a written up
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: plot that I have up as I watch it, and
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: it helps me kind of make sure I don't miss
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: any threads that did. I couldn't find that for this one.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: So this is like a lot of us just talk way.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I like it anyway, this is my style. Let's go.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: We're just saying, I do you want to watch it?
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: It is on Amazon Prime right now.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It is Yes, it is okay. So Boy Meets Girl
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: is a twenty fourteen indie rom com drama directed by
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Eric Schaeffer. When it came out, it was fairly well reviewed,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: and like I said, it did come up on a
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: lot of list when I was looking up what movies
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: we should watch this month, and it came up in
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: terms of what I was saying, like important movies about
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: trans people, because there are harsh elements of it, but
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: it's much lighter. The main character, who is trans played
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: by trans woman, is very comfortable in herself and in
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: her body, like that's not an issue. It doesn't shy
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: away from transphobia, but it does call it out. Here's
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: a good quote describing the vibe of this movie that
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: I often saw when I was when I was looking
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: it up, and it's from Medium. The twenty fourteen film
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: gives trans people a romantic, happy ending that mainstream film
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: too often denies them. So yes, the article does go
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: on to point, especially in Apalachia, that this happened in
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: the South, like that's even more rare. Yes, it stars
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: transactress Michelle Henley as Ricky, a young trans woman living
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: in a small town Kentucky on her search for love.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Schaeffer discovered her on YouTube, which he went on to
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: incorporate that into the film, and sort of these YouTube
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: clips we see. She works as a barista, but she
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: has goals of moving to New York and going to
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: school to study fashion design, which she has a YouTube
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: channel about fashion design. She spends most of her free
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: time hanging out with her friend, mechanic Robbie Michael Welch,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: which I'm told he was in Twilight.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Yes he was, Yes he was.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: That's the only one I know. Think Oh that and
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: an episode of Criminal Minds. Those are Oh I've ever
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: seen them?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Then you're welcome.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, he's like the most Southern boy like accent, and
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: he's the mechanic, like the whole thing. But the pair
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: have been good friends for about fifteen years, and they
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: spend most of their days teasing each other in the
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: way that good friends do. They have a lot of
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: conversations about sex, about all those kinds of things that
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: you have with your close friends. And Ricky is also
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: close with her father and her younger brother as well.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: And in her Friendcesca played by Alexandra Turshan, who Ricky
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: meets at work, and from there they become good friends
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: very quickly, very quickly, and then from there a romantic
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: relationship forms. Like meeting number two, I was like, wow, wow, okay,
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: uh huh, I guess sometimes it could be like that. Right,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: So Manchesska develops feelings for Ricky, but Robbie is suspicious,
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: believing her to be an untrustworthy, conservative, well off Southern
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Belt type who, by the way, thinks being trans is contagious. Well,
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: I will say, at the beginning Robbie was like, try it,
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: maybe she's cool. Don't judge a book by the cover.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: But then I think she said the person she was
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: getting engaged to, yeah, both knew, and that kind of
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: was like, oh no, don't like there was suspicions after that, right, However,
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: that doesn't stop the two of them from falling for
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: each other, but they there are complications and confusion. First,
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: neither have been with a woman, which was a fun
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: conversation between Ricky and Robbie, like I turned red, but
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Know what, this is a legitimate I feel like this could.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Be a legitimate questions like this is There's a lot
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: of things that I'm like, this does feel like how
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: we should go. And second, Francesca is engaged to a
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: marine who was stationed in Afghanistan named David Uh. And apparently, yes,
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: they all know each other. Yeah, and Ricky, we find
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: out later.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Had a thing with him.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: They they had sex essentially, and as we were introduced
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: to David before we find that out, he is obviously
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: playing that very southern uh. He makes a comment about
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: those Arabs at one point and then calls Ricky some
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: names that is inappropriate and rude and hateful.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and keeping with our religious mini series we're doing,
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: he refers to her as my virgin angel.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that will make me squirm so hard.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, me too, me too, And he says one good
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: thing about Arabs is saving themselves for marriage. So he's
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: not a good guy, not cool at all. As I mentioned,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Ricky has a YouTube channel about fashion and she makes
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: her own clothes. So one day Francesca comes over and
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Ricky kind of surprises her and brings her onto the
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: video and they bond over it. They talk about tampons
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: and bathrooms and barbies, accepting sex. Francesca says she wants
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: to live out loud like Ricky, a life without regrets,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: which Ricky says has a pretty big price tag, but
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Francesca says it's not as big of a price tag
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: as the alternative, and they start making out and then
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Francesca sort of flees the scene please runs away very quickly.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: The next day, Ricky discusses having sex with a woman
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: with Robbie, as we said, and Francesca asks for Ricky's
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: help for a dress because they Yeah, they go looking
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: around discussing small town living, and Ricky takes a reluctant
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Francesca to Target to get materials to make a dress,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: specifically a tablecloth, and yeah, they are doing this because her, uh,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Francesca's parents are doing a big it sounds like a
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: political yeah, like amazing event, Yeah, at their house, and
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: it sounds like her Francesca's father is a politician, yes,
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: and we ever yeah, but we don't.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Ever hear outside of him making the speech.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: But anyway, there that is and yeah, they start making
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: out again, heart and heavy, and Ricky expresses her doubts
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: about the whole thing, but Francesca means she's not a
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: virgin and is lying to her fiance about it. Ricky
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: insists that they have to talk about sex, especially in
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: regards to having sex as a trans person, and then
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: also whether they're clean bill of help using production. They
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: have sex a Francesca skips a call from her fiance
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: as are just cuddling.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, And then they talk after after
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: they have sex about whether or not Francesca is gay,
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Like Francisca's like, what does this make me? Is it
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: make me buy? Does it make mean? Whatever? It makes
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: me something? But Ricky says it just makes her human.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Then Ricky discusses this whole thing with Robbie and they
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: argue about straight and gay sex, about labeling sexuality, and
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: they're having this argument all while they're driving up to
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Francesca's place to deliver the dress, the place of her
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: parents anyway, and the place is a mansion. It is
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: an absolute mansion. Francesca is so excited about the dress.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: She loves it. Robbie says he loves and so Francesca
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: invites them both to the party. Her parents are throwing
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: this political fundraiser, I think, and it is a very
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: fancy schmancy party, very fancy smancy. And yes they are conservative.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Her parents are conservative. Pretty much everyone there, I would
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: guess this conservative. Francesca's bombs southern accent is quite the thing.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And a bellum with it, and I'm like, nam, I
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: need to calm down.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: And then at the party, her dad makes this announcement
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: about Francesca's wedding and it turns out that they have
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: brought David home for the party. Everyone is shocked. Awkward
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: small talking sues. David confronts Francesca about missing his call.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Francesca tries to get him to respect Ricky because he
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: keeps purposely s gendering Ricky. David review else he saw
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: the YouTube video they made together, and he complains he's
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: the laughing stock of his group of dudes and calls
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Ricky a thing, which is horridness. Francesca confronts her parents.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: David makes sure that her parents know that Ricky is
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: a trans person. Francesca kind of reveals that she was
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: with Ricky, and her dad attacks David because he was
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: getting kind of aggressive, and Ricky and Robbie wisely fled
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: the scene. He had already left before this happened. Smart
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Ricky's little brother finds the video that Ricky made as
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: a kid that the movie starts out with about self
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: harming and believing that their mom left died because of her.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Then it cuts to Francesca's mom cornering Ricky in a
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: coffee shop and she's like talking about how her daughter
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: is weak, she's not very strong, but meanwhile, Ricky has
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: had her heartbroken several times, so you'll be fine. She's
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: trying to convince Ricky that Ricky doesn't want Francesca and
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: should let her down. Also says transgender sounds so ugly
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: and she would be better off telling people she has
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: a birth effects terrible.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: It was bad, And of course Ricky fires shots back.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: That's what she does barely, that's how she's been surviving,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: and she's able to push people.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Back with her rhetoric.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: The letter Ricky has been waiting for has finally arrived,
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: which is an acceptance for the fashion design school. But
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: before she can read that, David the fiance comes out
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: of nowhere, no car, no nothing, just chomped these I'm
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: confused because I'm like, where the did.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: He come come from? Like, where's his car?
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: It's not like he had to walk a long way
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: to do a surprise attack on Ricky, but whatever attacks
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: are out of nowhere, threatening her pretty much straddles her
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: and reveals that David was the first and only man
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: she's ever had sex with, and even says, if she
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: remembers correctly, David liked to be the bottom, being on
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: the bottom, And he's like, don't did you tell Francesca?
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Don't tell her.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: All these things, And of course this also makes him
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: back off for the moment, and Francesca arrives out of
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: nowhere and interrupts them, and she's trying to figure out
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: why David's there, but David just skulks away, and then
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: Francesca and Ricky talk about their relationship rick Ricky says,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I can't give you babies. Francesca says, don't tell me
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: what I want. They quote break up, but it's amicable,
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: talk about maybe that one day they'll be friends. Francesca
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: says she's so much better for having known Ricky. And
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: as all these sadness and sad things happen, we see
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Ricky opening up that letter to prevail that she has
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: been rejected from the art school of her dreams.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's all of this is happening, Robbie realizes
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: he has romantic feelings for Ricky. Ricky and Robbie have
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: this major falling out. He calls woman bitches. He says
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: that it's easy for them to leave. He says that
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: she's quote not really anything, not really a boy and
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: not really a girl. And then he kind of just
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: like we're all stumbling through, to which Ricky says, yeah,
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: but you have so much more to work with, and
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: then Ricky kind of storms out. And that's when Ricky's brother,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: her little brother, shows Robbie the video about that she
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: had made as a kid about self harming, and so
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: now he's afraid that she's going to hurt herself. So
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: he goes to a bunch of places he thinks she
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: might be, but then he ends up at their favorite
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: spot for swimming. I almost said watering hole, but I
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: don't know if people actually say that, but yeah, where
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: they go to swim, he apologizes. He finds her swimming naked,
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: and he apologizes and says he was so confused and
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: jealous by her crush on Francesca. He says that Ricky
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: is the least confused person he knows. She steps out
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: of the water, completely comfortable in her naked body. They kiss,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: and Robbie says he loves her, that he doesn't want
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: to ignore anything about her because she's she enters completely.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: She seems completely comfortable, but she's kind of asking, like,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: are you freaked out by this? Is every kay? And
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: he says, yes, I don't want to know anything about you.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: She says she's always loved Robbie two and then they
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: have sex.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: And in between all this, David and Francesca have a
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: whole conversation about their relationship. Ricky and Robbie heads to
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: New York after she has kind of given up on
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: the silly dream to be with Robbie. She's like, you know,
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: I'd rather be here with you again. Franceisca and David
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: have a conversation Ricky and finally calls Ricky her and
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: it admits that he really liked Ricky a lot like
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: everything about her. It wasn't necessarily about anything but her,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: and he just wanted to be as close to her
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: as possible because when at one point Forenessica says, I
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: don't like that.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I love you, but I don't.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: Like that you can hate, and then David goes on
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: to admit that it wasn't hate for her for Ricky,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: it was a hate for himself because he had this
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: layer of shame, but he sounded like he was trying
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: to let it go, and then that they decided not
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: to get married at that point at least postpone the
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: wedding and get to know themselves, get to know each
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: other and themselves as they are letting down all their guards,
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: then all the false pretenses and it, I know, this
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: turns lovely.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I guess I was like, do we want that? That
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: was a quick resolve too. I don't like. Everything happened
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: very quickly.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: And by the way it turns out, Uh, there was
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: all this male, little little character, the little mailman loving
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: meilman out of notice, like tell Ricky she got some letters, okay, uh,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: And then that's when Robbie eyes kind of shies, like, hey,
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: you need to look at her letters, even though it's like,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: we need to leave, we need to leave.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, go check your letters.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: And turns out that she had gotten a bunch of
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: letters with a dollar bill. And that turned out her
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: dress that she had made for Francesca got featured by
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: a big YouTube influencer, and there was a challenge to
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: send Ricky money to help her get to New York
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: because her designs were beautiful, and everybody to send one dollar.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: And we noticed that Francesca and David popped back up
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: with again the mailman to deliver some extra letters. And
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: when we say extra letters, we mean like two or
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: three trash bags of letters with dollar bills in it.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: And then we go on to see that Ricky is
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: packing up and she and her dad have a conversation
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: about her mom. And by the way, dad is very
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: supportive and very loving and all about her dream and
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: like it's just so cute, and he tells her, you know,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: that's not what happened.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Get that out of your mind. You know.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Even though she said the words you're perfect, my sweet boy,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: when Ricky was young, before I believe she came out,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: she would have never changed that sentiment about her. Since
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: she thought she would always thought Ricky was perfect no
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: matter what. It's always very set conversation. Then she says
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: goodbye to her brother and off she and Robbie go
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: with all kinds of people all over the world. Watch
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: the video she made as a kid. After Sam says
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: let me releasa, she's like, you do your thing, and
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: the ending is super sweet about how she will listen
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: if you're going through hard times. And also I don't
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: know where Robbie is driving her because they go through
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: some woods and I'm like, why would you we in
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: the woods. Wouldn't you be on the interstate at this point?
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Where are you calling?
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: Boy?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I was very confused by that ending.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I love it. You're like karanoid, like where is he taking?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Are? Like, why are you driving in the woods? That
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: doesn't make sense.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's going some backways. I don't know.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I bet he knows some backways. He seems like the type.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: But yes, what we know is they live happily together
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: because he has promised the dad that he would protect
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: her always.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, it is a very sweeten thing. It's a very Yeah,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: it's just nice. It's just nice, like it works out.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I did have moments of like, oh no, this
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: is gonna be bad.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I will say, like the shock of like I thought
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: David was coming to beat yeah her up and finding
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: out he was actually in love with her for a minute,
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: and I'll oh, I saw that going.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Let us talk about some themes. One of the biggest
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: one is being your true self, being true to yourself.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: And we see that, you know, most especially with Ricky,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: but we also see it. You know, Francesca kind of
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: has that. She's grappling with it. They even rob you
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: on some levels, is grappling with it, David. But yeah,
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: especially for like trans experience, being your true self. And
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: that was something a lot of people pointed out when
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: I was reading about this, was, you know, Ricky mentions
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: self harming behavior, drugs, this sort of eating, cutting, kind
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: of suicidal ideation perhaps and that being unfortunately so something
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: a lot of trans people know and have experienced, and
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: that kind of guilt and shame and all of this
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: self harming around your body. But then to see Ricky
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: so as an adult just so sure of herself in
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: a lot of ways, like a lot of times when
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: you see her, it's not that she doesn't have these
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: moments of vulnerability at all. But it's just she knows
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: who she is, right, and that being so powerful. Right. Yeah,
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: here's a quote from that medium article that I mentioned
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: from doctor Thomas J. West. The third quote from the
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: moment I saw, I found myself falling under its spell.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: There's an earnestness and genuineness to it that I immediately
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: found appealing. And given that I'm from West Virginia, it's
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Appalachian setting called to something inside of me. From the outset,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: it's clear that despite the reputation that Appalachia has for
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: being a place of intolerance and bigotry, that's not the
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: kind of place this film was interested in portraying. Indeed,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: what's remarkable about so many of the denizens of this
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: area is that they take Ricky's transidentity for granted and
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: don't seem to think much of it. Ricky's family is
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: particularly supportive of her, though it's almost made clear that
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: her mother left the family, and it's further hinted that
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Ricky's transidentity was a reason for her departure.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was trying to figure that part out. Did
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: she die or did she leave? I died really seems
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: to answer that question. Because there was like she died
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: and he's like, I thought so too, and then that's
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: kind of how it ends. So I'm like, wait, did
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: she not?
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Did she leave?
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I think she died. I'm pretty sure. But you're
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: not the only one who's confused about it, because I
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: did see multiple kind of takes on it. The last
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: conversation the father had with her with Ricky, I felt
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: like made it pretty clear she died, or like.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: He might have been like, she left not because of you.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's true, that's true.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Like either way, I was very confused either way because
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: like a she I don't she a life. I will
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: say I think I did find it interesting the way
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: they did set it up in Kentucky, as if people
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: it was such a small town, they knew who she
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: was and they weren't messing with her, But it sounded
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: like they built it on based on she didn't take
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: any crap so that they stopped messing with her, essentially
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: because they knew that they would have a fight, kind
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: of like the dude who flashed them, so she flashed
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: them back. Yeah, and like just like I'm done with you,
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: I'm not playing with you.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: This is what's gonna happen.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, here we go type of conversation, as well as
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: the fact when the boys I'll talk crap about her
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: and they're like, oh, she got boobs. Cool, We're cool now,
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: like that, that's what it was doing. So I'm like,
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: that's an interesting take to this.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: It was. It was because I did read some a
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: lot of personal accounts of this, of this movie, and
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: a lot of people wrote that this rang true to them.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: And this is still problematic, but it rang true to
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: them because a lot of people in those small towns,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: like maybe they aren't allies and they're support a lot
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: of queerphobic things, but they if you know, if they
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: know someone who is queer, then that person they like
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: and will protect, right.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, that is actually very true, especially like
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: racial things. They talk a conglomerate of people, but then
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: when they meet someone, they love them. I've talked about
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: that with my own people, Like they talk racist trash,
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: but then they meet people of marginalized people, They're like.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, hey, honey, come on in right, that's my southern
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Very good.
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: You're already pretty.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I'm already pretty southern. So add on a little bit thicker.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I got this, yes, but I did appreciate that it
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: was set in kind of a small town in the South,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: and that we did see we did see a lot
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: of transphobic people and especially her transphobic comments, but that
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: there was so much support.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: I think she makes a good point about her surrounding
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: the people that support her on purpose so that you
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: don't see that.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. Another thing I noticed as part of this
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: was a lot of conversations about being a woman, especially
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: like between Rickey and Robbie when they're having that conversation
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: about like gay sex, straight sex and sexuality and all
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: that stuff. There is a lot about that. There was
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: a scene I found particularly moving where her Ricky's little
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: brother asked her like, does that mean something's wrong with
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: me that I like to play with like army men
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: and not barbies like you do? And it's just night
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Like they have a nice little bonding moment where she's like, no,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: You're perfect the way you are. It's nice. And then,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: as you mentioned, there is that layer of internalized homophobia
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: that we see, particularly with David, but I mean even
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: in David and Francesca's relationship, that whole like lying about virginity,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: that purity culture thing we've been talking about. It is
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: like over the top, you guys.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But to be fair, so this is twenty fourteen release,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: so this was filmed in twenty twelve.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Pretty prevalent. Still, it's prevalent today.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: So if you're in a small town boarding school with
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: a very white conservative family, probably still an important thing.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, no, no, I didn't feel I think
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: it just kind of struck me because we are talking
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: about it right now. I was like, whoa, here it is.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I will say I was also very surprised about
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: the father reacting that way, and I was like, again,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: the year is twenty fourteen, twenty twelve, so it wasn't
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: quite Trump era, so people were not the extremists that
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: we see today or out loud anyway, right.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I mean it was especially watching it now,
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I did have a lot of moments where I was like, oh, oh,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna go way worse.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Right, Well, this is Mitch McConnell's territory, so we know
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: what he stands for and how he's leaning, So it
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: doesn't feel genuine to be based in Kentucky. But I
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: know that this also was the same time as Paul
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: Ryan was and he was compared to today, so it
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: sort of a moderate So I think that's why they
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: were leaning.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: At the very least.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: I wonder what he what that, what that movie would
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: look like today. I'm sure it would not be as cute.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: Well anyway, back to the not so sadness, but yeah,
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: it's interesting to see that this was based in Kentucky
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: with a politician like that, and then like they didn't
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: negate her womanhood until the mother came back round. Even still,
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: she didn't even she said the word transgender was ugly,
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: but she really didn't misgender her at any point.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well yeah, no, which she didn't. She said some
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: terrible things, but she didn't get her because I think
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: she was saying, like transgenders so ugly and women are
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: supposed to be pretty. Yeah yeah, yeah, but they had
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: met her not knowing she was transgender, and they were like,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: oh no, we love her, we love her, and then
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: David's like, oh no, I don't know. It was a mess,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: But I did want to include this quote David did
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: say about Ricky, But really I just liked her and
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be as close with her as possible,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: So that kind of goes back to his internal internalized homophobia.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Francesca kind of expresses something similar like I just really
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: like her.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Right, Okay, I feel like this is bordering onto the
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: whole non binary to queerness, just being on a spectrum
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: and loving the person right, and finding Ricky lovable and
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: mesmerizing and something to someone that people just wanted to
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: be close to. Not not to say that it can't
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: be they can't be queer, that's not a thing, but
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: they never really say it outside of Francisca questioning it.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: It's just more of who they wanted to be with.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: And that's kind of the idea of like love is
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: love in general, So if you fall in love or
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: be fall in love or fall in like with these people,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: why is it wrong? And then coming back to internalize
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: homophobia of like I was with a man, or I
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: was with a woman, or I was with you know,
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: like that real gender or whatever whatnot. Well, that's interesting,
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: it was it was framed differently. They would They didn't
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: label it as hard as you typically seen movies.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, they didn't do that, and that was purposeful.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: I think I found some quotes about that too, which
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: we'll get into you. I did want to talk about
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of people wrote about how move they were
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: about the scene where Ricky comes out of the lake
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: and it's naked. So here's another quote from that Medium article.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: We aren't invited to fetishize Ricky's trans body. It simply
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: exists there is I would argue something subtly radical about
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: this choice, since it normalizes Ricky and allows us to
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: see her as a person rather than an other body.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: It's also significant that Robbie doesn't see her as other
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and that in fact, he loves her for who she is.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Right, And here's Henley's words about the scene. I am
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: so so happy that the nude scenes have been received
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: so well and not some gratuitous shock value sleeve shot.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: Eric let me know about the scene very early on,
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: and maybe within the first couple of email exchanges, not
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: a thing about it, and I was all for it
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: from the get go. I think there's a lot of
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: mystery associated with the train bodies. The general public does
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: not understand what it is to be a transgender person,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: and our bodies are often fetishized as something taboo and
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: strictly sexual. It was important to treat the scene delicately,
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: and I want audiences to see a trans body for
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: what it is. It's not monstrous, it's not threatening anyone.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: It's just there in its mind and it's beautiful. Yeah,
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: that's a really great quote.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah it is. It is, And I think so much
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: of that. It was a really powerful scene. And I
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: think all of these words are so impactful. And that
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: is something that really upsets me about current, especially hard
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: conservative conversation around trans people, queer people at large, trans
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: people in specific, is that they're always sexualized, and often
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: not in a way, often in like a really horriful way.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: So I think that's really really important. And I do
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: love the part about you know it's mine and it's beautiful,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: and that whole idea of not hating your body, not
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: keeping it a secret, because that comes up pretty early
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: on where Ricky is just kind of like, no, I
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: don't keep a secret. If people ask, I tell it. Yeah.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Another thing I saw come up a lot when people
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: were writing about this movie was sex positivity. That they
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: felt it was a very sex positive movie, and there
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: are a lot of conversations about sex in it. There's
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: like conversations about the messiness of sex just kind of
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: how it works, what sex looks like for Ricky who
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: is transitioning. There's like conversation about commitment versus dick.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Pointing, conversations about dick and fingers.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, moisture, which bad segue, but also like sexuality
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: is fluid. That's something in there, and we've already talked
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: about it a lot, but I did want to include
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: the quote. So this is after Francesca and Ricky have
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: had sex, and Francesca says, what does this make me
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: a lesbian? By curious and then Ricky says human just
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: kind of shrugs it off. And then just to wrap
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: this up, I wanted to include friendship. It was a
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: big theme throughout Robbie and Ricky's friendship. They kind of
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: have a conversation how they just hit it off so
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: well when they're so young, and he felt like he
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: had to protect her, and he says, but you never
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: really needed me to protect you. And one of his
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: quotes is, how could I regret being in love with
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: the hottest girl in town who just happens to be
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: my best friend. So they have a really good we
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: have a good friendship. He says, some good old boys stuff.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, dear, but they had a really
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: good friendship. And then also, as we said, the small
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: town part of it, I really appreciate it because they
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: do talk about it a lot. There's a part where
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Francesca's kind of saying, like, h small town's so cute.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: It makes me feel this way, and Ricky says, makes
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: me feel claustrophone. Yeah, And then I love this quote.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: So there's at that fancy party they were at there
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: there are these two women who are kind of like
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: joking about going to high school in a small town.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: One of them says, high school, who can survive it?
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Another says I was fat, I had terrible acnees as
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: another one he says, and I was a boy, so
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: that sucks.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: I love that they didn't listen at first and laughed
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: and then like they kind of filter all the like
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: wait what and they just walk away.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: God. I love it. I really recommend it. It was
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: really fun. It moves quickly, like you said, but it
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: was nice.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Was it was very sweet? Yeah, it's a very sweet movie.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: No big shocks.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: There's a few moments of like, of course you are
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: heartbroken for someone feeling like they have to justify themselves
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: in any way, she has a lot of support systems.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: I will say Michael Welch did a great job like
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: he he was like. The best thing was him trying
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: to describe sex with a woman like I. That was
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: probably one of my favorite scenes because him being flustered
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: was so legitimate.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah I was cute. Yeah it was. It was so
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: we recommend it. Go check it out if you haven't
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: seen it already. If you have any thoughts on it,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: we would love to hear them, and if you have
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: any other suggestions for the segment. As always, you can
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: email us at Stephandia Mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: You can find us on Twitter at Mom'stuff Podcast, or
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: on Instagram and TikTok at stuff We' Never Told You.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: We're also on YouTube and we have a book. You
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: can pre order it at stuff you Should Read Books
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: dot com. Thanks as always to our super producer Christina,
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you all,
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never Told
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: You protection of iHeartRadio. For more podcast from my Heart Radio,
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: you can check out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: wherever you listen to your favorite shows Y