Latest / The World Knowledge / Hope After Public Humiliation

Transcript

Hope After Public Humiliation · The World Knowledge

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, good afternoon, listeners. Thank you for listening to Lament
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: of Hope podcast. And I'm very grateful. This is gonna
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: be a little unconventional, because if you're watching this, you're
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: gonna see it's just the logo for the podcast. But Dr.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Katina and I really tried. And unfortunately, we weren't able
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to do video, but that's okay.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: And I was really, I was close to despair. I said,
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I just can't do this anymore. I walked outside. And
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I remember there was a airplane, uh, from the Sudan
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: air force, uh, circling overhead and they would drop bombs,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: you know? And, uh, I remember thinking, you know, just
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: come overhead and drop this bomb and just kill me
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: and take me out of here. Cause I've had enough
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: of this. And, uh, it was a moment of despair and, uh,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: it was, it was one of the worst moments of
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: my life. And, uh, That was, that was one of
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: the worst, but there have been many, many cases like
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: that where you just get a death and you just
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: feel so kind of almost insulted by it. Like it's
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: just so painful and you just got to keep coming
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: back to the same thing. I'm not God. I do
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: what I can. Let me keep going ahead because somebody
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: else needs our help. If I sit here and I,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: you know, do a little pity party and feel sorry
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: for myself and, you know, keep stewing over this. I
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: can't help the next person. He really needs our help too. So,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, as painful as it is, you just got
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: to keep, you know, one foot in front of the
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: other and keep pushing forward.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Do you have a, do you allow yourself any time
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: or is there something you do of like a ritual
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: of your own to allow for yourself to grieve the
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: traumas you experience while you're trying to keep going? Because
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I know in the moment you have to keep going,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: but do you ever give yourself space to allow for
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: that to come through?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: No, I wouldn't say I take time out during the
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: day to kind of think about it. What I find
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: is I just, what works for me is I just
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: have to keep going. Pray for the soul of this
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: person because we believe that the person is dead, but
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: we have our own beliefs about what happens after death.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Let me pray for the soul of this person that
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: God will take him up into his kingdom. That's how
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I can help this person at this point. The body
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: is gone. The soul is there forever. Let me pray
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: for the soul of this person. And that is somehow redemptive.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I can at least pray for the soul of this
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: person so I haven't given up on him or her.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: I can at least keep helping that person even though
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: they're gone physically. Let me do that. and say, I've
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: done what I can. Let me just, let me just
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: go ahead. And I know, I know myself, I know
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: mentally that with time, that pain will go away. Eventually
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: it'll go away. So let me just, I just convinced myself,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: just keep going, pray for that person's soul. Keep pushing forward.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: That agony, that pain you feel in your heart right
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: now will go away. And, uh, it does, it goes away.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: And I, I still remember them. I still kind of feel, uh,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: something you know i remember so many people who have
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: died here that have had things happen to them and
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of the memories stay with me but it's
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: not that agonizing feeling it's like okay i did what
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: i could let me keep moving ahead and uh if
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: it was something that we did that we could have
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: done better let me learn from that what we did
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: and do better next time and just i think it's
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: very important to keep pushing ahead hmm