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Our Top Ten Parenting Books of 2026 · Other Peoples Parenting

• 0:00
  Hello, everybody.
• 0:01
  Welcome to another episode of Other People's Parenting, where we read and review parenting books and review them for you.
• 0:08
  I'm Skylar Hurwitz, amateur parent, and this is my mom, Karen Quinn.
• 0:11
  She's a New York Times best selling author and the founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom.
• 0:17
  Hello, Mom.
• 0:18
  Hi, Skylar.
• 0:19
  How are you today?
• 0:20
  I'm good, kind of.
• 0:22
  We've had some technical difficulties, y'.
• 0:24
  All.
• 0:25
  We are attempting to be women in STEM and record some of these podcasts ourselves outside of the studio.
• 0:33
  And what we are learning is a newfound appreciation for our production team, who just makes everything so seamless and amazing.
• 0:42
  Meanwhile, I'm here with my laptop on the floor, trying to be sure that my microphone is recording.
• 0:49
  And sometimes it is, and then sometimes it's not.
• 0:51
  So this is like our 11th take, I think.
• 0:55
  So we're learning that we're not really girls in stem.
• 1:00
  I mean, we are, you know, what can I say?
• 1:03
  That's not our number one talent.
• 1:05
  No.
• 1:05
  We have so many gifts and so many talents, but unfortunately, technology evades us.
• 1:11
  It does.
• 1:11
  At least right now, but, you know.
• 1:13
  No, forever.
• 1:14
  Because when AI takes over the world, we're in trouble, I guess.
• 1:17
  So we're not going to be able to negotiate with our AI overlords,.
• 1:23
  But, you know, whatever.
• 1:24
  It's an experiment.
• 1:25
  We're trying.
• 1:25
  We're trying.
• 1:26
  Give us credit.
• 1:28
  We're doing something new novel.
• 1:31
  Yeah.
• 1:31
  Let us go.
• 1:33
  I know.
• 1:33
  Look at us go.
• 1:34
  I'm impressed.
• 1:35
  Maybe we'll see.
• 1:36
  This might or might not sound terrible, so TBD on all of this.
• 1:40
  Yeah.
• 1:41
  But tell them what we're gonna do.
• 1:43
  Okay.
• 1:44
  Because.
• 1:44
  So welcome back.
• 1:45
  This is season two, Season two of Other People's Parenting.
• 1:49
  We made it.
• 1:51
  We've decided, because we have so many new listeners that kind of like, jumped on our wagon towards the end of season one, that we're actually going to give you guys a recap of our favorite books that we covered
• 2:02
  in season one.
• 2:04
  And we're gonna do it backwards because obviously 10 to 1.
• 2:08
  10 to 1.
• 2:09
  Makes sense.
• 2:10
  Makes sense to us because we both have adhd, and this sounds like fun to do this backwards.
• 2:18
  So, team, would you like to start us off with book number 10?
• 2:22
  Okay.
• 2:22
  And by the way, I will say that for those of you who did join the podcast late in the game.
• 2:29
  Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.
• 2:31
  We love.
• 2:32
  And I.
• 2:32
  I wanted to just say also, you know, that you can go back and listen to the episodes of that episode.
• 2:39
  They're not gone.
• 2:40
  They're still there.
• 2:42
  And so when you hear about them in our recap.
• 2:45
  If you get excited, you go back and listen to those episodes.
• 2:48
  Exactly.
• 2:49
  And if you're not excited, don't listen.
• 2:51
  Don't listen.
• 2:51
  Go do something else.
• 2:53
  Yes, of course, with your time and energy.
• 2:55
  But we hope you'll, you'll go back if, if a book intrigues you.
• 2:59
  Yes.
• 3:00
  Okay.
• 3:00
  Number 10 is fat talk Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Soul Smith.
• 3:10
  And this is a book, by the way.
• 3:13
  She uses the word fat the whole time in the book to talk about people who are overweight.
• 3:19
  I guess that is the, the word.
• 3:21
  Her hope is that fat can become a descriptor, not an indictment.
• 3:27
  Right.
• 3:27
  Not a negative connotation.
• 3:29
  Yes, that the opposite of thin.
• 3:31
  Right.
• 3:32
  And, and really what the book is about is it, it challenges so many beliefs about food, weight, the role of parents in shaping kids eating habits and their body image.
• 3:43
  It's a very well researched book with a lot of advice on some very difficult topics.
• 3:52
  It shows both sides.
• 3:53
  It's not just about, it's not just showing the studies that support the author's beliefs.
• 4:02
  She, she gives us both sides.
• 4:04
  She tells it all.
• 4:05
  She mentions it all.
• 4:06
  She does, as Bethany would say.
• 4:08
  Who's Stephanie?
• 4:09
  Bethany?
• 4:10
  Oh, Bethany.
• 4:12
  I thought you said Bethany Frankel Menchell.
• 4:15
  That's what she says.
• 4:16
  Okay, all right.
• 4:17
  Oh, on her podcast.
• 4:18
  No, she said it to Ramona once in the Berkshires because Ramona was threatening to out her for who even knows what.
• 4:26
  Ramona's insane.
• 4:28
  But yeah, she's like, I'm going to mention it, Bethany, I'm going to mention it.
• 4:31
  And then Bethany goes mention it all.
• 4:34
  Oh, okay.
• 4:35
  Okay, good.
• 4:36
  Okay, okay.
• 4:37
  She does.
• 4:38
  She mentions it all just, just as Bethany said.
• 4:41
  Okay, so there's lots of stories, interviews, studies that are cited and it shows so many different things.
• 4:51
  It looks at raising kids in an anti fat world.
• 4:55
  It discusses eating disorders, puberty, dieting, fitness influencers.
• 5:01
  She shows the harms that parents inadvertently do that doctors do.
• 5:07
  I don't know.
• 5:07
  I guess doctors do so much damage because the way they speak to people in bigger bodies is so judgmental.
• 5:17
  Not all doctors, obviously.
• 5:18
  I've never met every single doctor that exists.
• 5:20
  But from the conversations I've had with friends of mine in larger bodies, the consensus is my doctor basically tells me that every single health issue I have is because I need to lose weight.
• 5:34
  And until I lose weight, there's nothing else to address.
• 5:36
  Which is obviously ludicrous.
• 5:39
  Yes, obviously.
• 5:40
  I mean, I, I used to be quite overweight.
• 5:43
  I, I was, I lost 60 pounds about 10 years ago.
• 5:47
  But I remember going to a doctor who said to me, you know, your husband's gonna leave you if you don't lose some weight.
• 5:54
  He really deserves to have a much prettier wife.
• 5:58
  Isn't that.
• 5:59
  Throw that man in prison, revoke his license.
• 6:02
  I know he said that.
• 6:03
  I think he was trying to like, scare me straight or something.
• 6:06
  I think that's not what you were paying for.
• 6:08
  No, I was there for a sore throat.
• 6:10
  I mean, I, I, but he, he.
• 6:12
  The audacity of this talk about my.
• 6:14
  Body and, and I, it was, it was honestly.
• 6:16
  Report him.
• 6:18
  Call the police.
• 6:19
  Yeah, he was, he was not a good doctor.
• 6:21
  I won't out him, but I.
• 6:23
  Honestly, who cares?
• 6:26
  Well, I outed him, but I didn't say his name.
• 6:28
  But he sounds like a loser.
• 6:29
  He was, he was.
• 6:30
  But still, I mean, that's what.
• 6:32
  You know.
• 6:32
  But doctors shame people because I don't think they just aren't trained to talk to people about their weight in a constructive way.
• 6:42
  Yeah, I guess.
• 6:43
  But anyway, the book talks about anti fat bias.
• 6:48
  And one of the things that I thought was really interesting is that kids equate negative traits to fat bodies as young as three.
• 6:58
  Like a three year old will have, will see negativity in a fat body.
• 7:04
  And I had no idea that the bias was that innate with young people.
• 7:09
  And then there's something called thin privilege, which I never even knew about.
• 7:15
  She talks about how flawed diet culture is in our society, how it messes with our beliefs about ourselves and the messages we give to our children.
• 7:26
  Yeah.
• 7:27
  Also delegalize Facetune.
• 7:31
  What's face?
• 7:32
  Facetune is an app that you can make yourself so thin and you, I mean, you have to look again back to Ramona.
• 7:39
  You gotta look at Ramona's Instagram.
• 7:42
  She has Facetuned herself into oblivion.
• 7:44
  Really?
• 7:45
  Oh, my God.
• 7:45
  You'll see some of these photos.
• 7:47
  And she, it's like she's like just born.
• 7:50
  That's how young she makes herself look.
• 7:52
  And every time she's like, I was out in Palm beach and I was out with my gay friends and they Facetuned my picture.
• 7:59
  It's like, girl, come on, you're, you're, you're doing your own face tuning.
• 8:03
  Ramona.
• 8:05
  Don't blame the gays.
• 8:06
  Right?
• 8:07
  Well, I think this is not, this is not their fault or their problem.
• 8:10
  Oh, my God.
• 8:11
  Well, yeah, I mean, I, you're right.
• 8:13
  I mean, you, I guess you can present yourself online as a person who's looks different than how you really look.
• 8:21
  But it's unhealthy.
• 8:22
  The.
• 8:22
  It sets this absurd standard for the way that people believe they should look.
• 8:28
  And for young kids who are seeing this stuff online, who don't really have the wherewithal, all to understand that this is unnatural.
• 8:34
  They are learning subconsciously to strive for an ideal that is impossible to meet.
• 8:39
  Right.
• 8:40
  Absolutely.
• 8:40
  I mean, the book talks about how you can lock up the cookies, but kids will find a way to get them.
• 8:45
  Kids will find a way to get anything you lock up.
• 8:47
  That's right.
• 8:48
  Don't bother.
• 8:49
  Right.
• 8:49
  And if you criticize your child's body, there's very little they can do about it, because it's hereditary for the most part, and you're going to end up doing psychological damage to them.
• 9:00
  We learned that height and weight charts are seriously flawed.
• 9:05
  Diets rarely work.
• 9:06
  People gain the weight back.
• 9:08
  Also, BMI was based on Belgian men in the early 1900s.
• 9:13
  That is the standard that a BMI measures.
• 9:16
  Was it Belgian?
• 9:17
  Yeah, Belgian men, I believe.
• 9:19
  I'd have to go back, but I feel pretty sure that it was held in men.
• 9:24
  But it was not like everybody.
• 9:26
  Yeah.
• 9:26
  And it shouldn't be women.
• 9:28
  And it was not children and not people from anywhere else in the world but Europe.
• 9:33
  Well, and also the re.
• 9:35
  What we, you know, saw in this book is that the.
• 9:37
  The author is really saying that, you know, the.
• 9:42
  The kids are not wrong for being fat or overweight.
• 9:46
  It's biological.
• 9:47
  It's genetic.
• 9:49
  Society is wrong for how we mistreat fat people, and we need to disarm the word fat and love our children just as they are.
• 9:57
  And that's a.
• 9:58
  I think that's a great argument.
• 10:00
  And I.
• 10:00
  But the reason I think the book is complex and this topic is so complex is because we also know that the other side of this is that being overweight can really be bad for you.
• 10:12
  So.
• 10:13
  Yeah, so that's.
• 10:15
  That's kind of really why, you know, I was just so torn when I read this book.
• 10:21
  And I liked it, especially because having, you know, two kids, I had one child who did struggle with his weight.
• 10:30
  I never knew what to do.
• 10:31
  I never knew what to say.
• 10:33
  And I really felt that if I'd had access to this book, it would have helped me deal with this, you know, with being a better mother to him.
• 10:40
  Book number nine, the Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.
• 10:47
  This book I liked.
• 10:49
  It had a bit of a Christian bent, I believe.
• 10:51
  One of the authors was a pastor.
• 10:53
  That's at least, like, the vibe that I got there.
• 10:56
  Were a lot of church references and Bible references.
• 11:01
  And I like this book a lot because it really helps you investigate the ways in which kids, your child, specifically want to receive love and how to figure out what their love language is.
• 11:16
  So, recap of the five love languages.
• 11:18
  It is physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time.
• 11:25
  What was the last one?
• 11:26
  Acts of service.
• 11:28
  Yes, yes, yes.
• 11:29
  And the example they give to try and figure out out what your child's love language might be is they say, okay, ask your child for their birthday, would they like a specific gift or would they prefer an experience
• 11:42
  with you?
• 11:44
  So you can kind of gauge, okay, my child prefers gifts or they prefer quality time.
• 11:51
  There are so many other ways.
• 11:53
  And as a millennial, I have been hammered with the idea of love languages probably since the day I was born, because it's all anybody on the Internet seems to talk about, which is so.
• 12:03
  Weird because I didn't know much about love languages.
• 12:08
  I didn't even realize.
• 12:10
  And.
• 12:10
  And I guess these five love languages apply to adults as well as children, but this book just talks about these love languages and gives lots of examples of.
• 12:22
  Of using these love languages with children.
• 12:25
  So it shows you, you know, how they're going to love to get.
• 12:30
  Get love from you and how they're going to show their love to you.
• 12:35
  And apparently, if you don't give them love in the way they.
• 12:40
  They understand it and want to receive it, they may have problems, they may get in trouble, or they may not want to listen to you.
• 12:51
  So you always want to make sure that you're filling up their.
• 12:54
  Their love tank with, as Vicki Gumbelson loves to say.
• 12:58
  Who's Vicki Gumbelson?
• 13:00
  One of it was from O.C.
• 13:02
  The O.G.
• 13:03
  Of the O.C.
• 13:04
  Okay.
• 13:04
  Okay, Don.
• 13:05
  I'm sorry.
• 13:06
  My love tank is empty.
• 13:08
  It's always empty.
• 13:09
  I don't know her.
• 13:10
  I.
• 13:10
  I don't watch that one.
• 13:11
  I don't.
• 13:13
  She's crazy.
• 13:14
  She's the family van.
• 13:15
  Oh, she is.
• 13:16
  Oh, God.
• 13:17
  Okay.
• 13:18
  Well, anyway, so much to learn.
• 13:20
  I know I have so many housewife franchises to watch, but.
• 13:24
  But anyway, you have to fill their tank with the kind of love that they want to receive.
• 13:29
  And that's what this is saying.
• 13:30
  Yeah.
• 13:31
  If you're not giving right love, it's like filling your car up with pudding.
• 13:38
  Oh, right.
• 13:39
  Absolutely.
• 13:39
  It's not gonna run.
• 13:40
  So if you give them love the way they want to receive it, then they're gonna be more confident, they'll act out less, and they'll be able to show you and others, how much they care for you and others.
• 13:53
  So it's, it's, it's like I thought it was a really good book.
• 13:56
  Does your Pre K to 8th grader.
• 13:58
  Have a high stakes test coming up?
• 14:00
  One that would get them into a gifted program or a private school?
• 14:03
  For about $10 a month, testingmom.com gives you thousands of practice questions just like the ones that your child will need to answer for any test they need to take.
• 14:13
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• 14:18
  If your child needs extra help, you can easily upgrade to one of our tutoring programs where a teacher will prepare your child and when the test is over, your child can boost their academic skills with any of the
• 14:30
  30 plus premium learning programs that are free on the Testing mom website.
• 14:34
  You'd never take an important test without knowing what to expect.
• 14:37
  So why should your child join the over 1 million parents who have used Testing mom to prepare their Pre K to 8th graders for gifted admissions and achievement tests?
• 14:48
  Book number eight is one of teen's personal favorites.
• 14:51
  Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guar.
• 14:56
  Not Peg.
• 14:57
  Yes, that's who wrote this.
• 15:00
  And this is for parents of kids age 4 to 13 who have difficulties.
• 15:05
  The.
• 15:06
  The children who have children have difficulties, not the parents.
• 15:09
  Could be the parents too.
• 15:11
  Absolutely.
• 15:12
  But if their children have difficulties getting started, staying focused with impulse control, emotional control, managing their time, organization, planning and prioritizing, remembering things, being flexible, working towards goals and self awareness which you may recognize as executive function skills.
• 15:35
  Yes, that's what this book is about.
• 15:36
  Executive function skills which.
• 15:39
  Okay, boring, boring, boring.
• 15:41
  But if you have a child who's struggling with these things, it's not so boring.
• 15:45
  These are all the brain based skills that we need to execute or perform tasks and they are developing in children from birth to age 25.
• 15:58
  And if a child is weak in too many of these areas, they're going to get a diagnosis of adhd.
• 16:04
  But all kids struggle.
• 16:06
  All people, really, all people struggle with these, these skills.
• 16:10
  We're all better in some and not as good in others and they can really get in a child's way.
• 16:18
  And you may go to a parent teacher conference and the teacher might say to you, you know, Billy is doing pretty well but he could really use some help in his executive function skills.
• 16:30
  And you're going to sit there if you don't know about this, you're going to go, what is she talking about?
• 16:35
  I mean I've had so many par.
• 16:37
  Testing mom who Called me and said, this is what the teacher said.
• 16:40
  What does this mean?
• 16:42
  And I've had to explain it to them.
• 16:44
  So this is a book I recommend all the time to parents.
• 16:48
  And it's, you know, if your child is struggling with any of these things, procrastination, paying attention, losing things, getting things done, they're inflexible.
• 17:00
  This is a book that will help you.
• 17:03
  And I would say Skylar and I, we both have adhd.
• 17:06
  We've both been diagnosed with that.
• 17:08
  And had I had this book when you were diagnosed, it would have made a huge difference because I, at the time did not understand how executive function plays into adhd.
• 17:20
  You just thought I was defiant.
• 17:22
  I did difficult, which I also was.
• 17:26
  You were, yes.
• 17:27
  But two things can be true.
• 17:29
  That's true.
• 17:30
  No, I did not understand how these things related.
• 17:33
  And I think if I had read this book, not only could I have helped you, I probably would have gotten my own diagnosis years earlier because I would have said, oh, yeah, I'm like that.
• 17:44
  I'm like that.
• 17:45
  And so that's why I recommend the book.
• 17:49
  I know it has helped countless parents.
• 17:51
  I recommend it all the time.
• 17:53
  Wish I'd had it.
• 17:55
  Ringing up.
• 17:55
  Skylar.
• 17:56
  Book number seven, the Anxious Generation.
• 18:00
  This was a contemporary choice.
• 18:03
  We covered it right around when it came out.
• 18:05
  And this has been an interesting, controversial book.
• 18:08
  Its thesis is basically that kids are too online and that the Internet and the constant scrolling is creating this newfound intense, this constant anxiety in Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and what will eventually be Gen Beta if things continue
• 18:30
  to trend in this direction.
• 18:33
  And I really enjoyed this book.
• 18:34
  It had a lot of studies, though I will say.
• 18:37
  There was a lot of graphs, a lot of, like, visual things to interpret.
• 18:41
  Skip over those.
• 18:41
  Totally.
• 18:42
  And I.
• 18:42
  And I did.
• 18:43
  And I did.
• 18:44
  You best believe I skipped over those.
• 18:46
  But I liked the theory.
• 18:49
  And I also liked that he added so many solutions.
• 18:52
  He talks a lot about this woman, Lenore Skenazi.
• 18:55
  Skenazi who?
• 18:56
  We will also discuss her book later in this list.
• 18:59
  But no, she doesn't make the list.
• 19:01
  Oh, she didn't make the list.
• 19:02
  She didn't make the list.
• 19:03
  I'm sorry.
• 19:04
  Lenore.
• 19:05
  Lenore.
• 19:06
  Okay, quick, about Lenore.
• 19:08
  Okay.
• 19:09
  Lenore has got jokes.
• 19:10
  Let me tell you.
• 19:11
  First of all, Lenore is a comedian.
• 19:13
  Not in real life, but in the book.
• 19:15
  She makes millions of jokes.
• 19:18
  But her whole theory is that kids need to spend more time outside and more independently.
• 19:24
  So, like, set your kid loose on an errand and just see how they do it.
• 19:28
  Helps build their confidence.
• 19:29
  It gives Them an opportunity to participate in the world, which as a blanket idea is a set of skills that kids today are losing because they're just not doing it.
• 19:42
  Well.
• 19:42
  What he, his two, two big ideas, like you said, is that, that we are over protecting children in the real world by not letting them run around like Lenore wants them to.
• 19:53
  But we have under protected them in the virtual world.
• 19:56
  We've let, we've just because we didn't understand what was going on.
• 20:00
  The Internet is an inherently adult space.
• 20:03
  Yeah.
• 20:04
  Children don't belong there.
• 20:05
  And that's really what he's talking about.
• 20:07
  And he has lots and lots of studies to prove it.
• 20:11
  And you know, he, he does talk about what's happened.
• 20:17
  He calls it the great rewiring.
• 20:19
  And all the harm it's done to, to these kids.
• 20:23
  They've been socially deprived, their friendships moved online instead of real life.
• 20:30
  They're sleep deprived because they're on their cell phones all the time.
• 20:34
  And, and they're, and they're getting, you know, note, what do you call them, notifications in the middle of the night.
• 20:40
  Whatever.
• 20:40
  Their attention has become fragmented permanently.
• 20:44
  Yeah, I mean any, a lot of us have, are suffering from that.
• 20:48
  Yes.
• 20:49
  Me personally, I can, I can confide.
• 20:51
  I mean, because we're, you know, we're always getting notifications and you can't focus on anything.
• 20:58
  And also kids, you know, especially if they're on social media, they get addicted.
• 21:02
  To getting likes and views artificial attention from bots.
• 21:08
  Right.
• 21:08
  And it's just all been very, very bad for kids.
• 21:12
  And he talks about, like you said, very practical things that could be done.
• 21:17
  Not giving kids smartphones until they're what, 15, 16.
• 21:21
  Until they're like 16.
• 21:24
  But the trick is, is you have to sort of be in cahoots with all the other parents in your grade because as soon as one kid gets it, they're all going to want it.
• 21:32
  So this really has to be a collective effort.
• 21:36
  He, I think, I believe he has a petition.
• 21:39
  Well, he has a whole program where, where people have to sort of.
• 21:42
  Yeah, there is a petition.
• 21:44
  It's like sign the pledge or something.
• 21:48
  Right.
• 21:49
  Something like that.
• 21:50
  I don't know if it's actually on change.org I just know that typically if there's a petition, that's where it lives.
• 21:54
  Oh, okay.
• 21:54
  Is that right?
• 21:55
  Okay.
• 21:56
  All right.
• 21:56
  Well, anyway, but, and he tells, he says that schools need to ban cell phones completely during the day.
• 22:02
  Like some schools will ban it during class time, but not in between classes.
• 22:08
  And then kids are rushing to their locker to get on their phones.
• 22:11
  Also in between classes and lunch are valuable socializing time, IRL socialization, which is what kids need more than anything.
• 22:21
  Absolutely.
• 22:22
  And so he gives lots of practical ideas about parents giving their children better.
• 22:30
  You can, he says you can be, you know, give your kids online experiences like some educational videos and educational programming is good.
• 22:41
  Talking to your grandparents on screens is good.
• 22:46
  But, you know, make sure that you, with older kids, you give them transportation so they can get around and be with their friends and that they don't stay online all the time.
• 22:59
  It's just, I think it's a great book and it really made a splash.
• 23:03
  He was on Bill Maher.
• 23:05
  I mean, he's everywhere.
• 23:06
  It's the kind of book that if you want to, like, look learned in front of other parents at a PTA meeting, read this book and be like, I don't know if you know this, but.
• 23:17
  And then spew off everything that you learned.
• 23:20
  Yeah, no, that was a really, really good book.
• 23:23
  So we'll be covering his other book, the Amazing Generation, in this upcoming season, which is geared to.
• 23:29
  Towards kids.
• 23:30
  It's a book for kids.
• 23:31
  And guess what?
• 23:32
  It's a graphic novel.
• 23:33
  There's comics.
• 23:34
  I love it.
• 23:35
  And you guys know how we feel about comics.
• 23:37
  We love comics.
• 23:37
  We love a comic.
• 23:38
  Yeah.
• 23:40
  The French philosophy around parenting is not like American parenting, where at least from what I've seen online, for the most part, people believe that if they're suffering, they're doing something right.
• 23:52
  That if they're sacrificing their personal time and their themselves fully, that's how you know you're being a good parent.
• 24:00
  Whereas in France, or at least in Paris, the idea is if you are suffering, you are doing something very wrong.
• 24:09
  They're stricter in general than American parents are.
• 24:12
  The idea is the parent is in charge.
• 24:15
  They look at discipline as education.
• 24:19
  It's given calmly, it's given firmly.
• 24:22
  They're very strict about enforcing bedtimes because they want their adult time.
• 24:28
  They treat that as very, very important.
• 24:31
  Sacred.
• 24:32
  What?
• 24:33
  Sacred.
• 24:34
  Absolutely.
• 24:34
  Well, it is.
• 24:35
  I would agree with that.
• 24:37
  And they teach children manners.
• 24:40
  Early on, they all get the four magic words, which are please, thank you, hello, and goodbye.
• 24:46
  So a French child is going to say those words.
• 24:49
  They're not going to just leave.
• 24:51
  If you just meet them, they're going to say goodbye, thank you, please, or they'll say it in French.
• 24:58
  But anyway, they teach kids to eat a variety of foods and to eat with good manners.
• 25:07
  That's a huge part of the culture, and that's A big part of this book, as well as just in general teaching manners that, you know, eating norms there are just as important as potty and sleeping training.
• 25:23
  And the French moms are just tiger moms about their children's manners.
• 25:28
  They're eating and they're sleeping.
• 25:32
  Also, their attitudes around things like breastfeeding and things that, again, American parents, it creates so much conflict.
• 25:42
  They have such a different idea about it.
• 25:45
  Women, the expectation is that you don't gain very much weight during your pregnancy and that it falls off very quickly once you have had the baby.
• 25:54
  Like, again, your life sort of very quickly starts to revolve around adult things.
• 25:59
  Again, we don't dwell in this new parenthood thing.
• 26:04
  Your child is just basically another roommate in your house, and they will be treated as such.
• 26:09
  They will not be treated as the most important thing in the world.
• 26:12
  They have to learn to be in adjustment with the family, because the family is the most important thing.
• 26:17
  And that is a collection of people whose needs all matter equally.
• 26:22
  Yeah.
• 26:22
  And.
• 26:22
  And I.
• 26:23
  I don't know, I liked it because I'm just so interesting to me to see a culture that treats being a parent so differently than we do in the West.
• 26:33
  Well, in America, because they are also technically in the West.
• 26:36
  Oh, I meant America, I guess.
• 26:38
  And Canada, too.
• 26:39
  I don't know how they do it in Canada.
• 26:40
  I can't speak for Canada.
• 26:42
  I can only speak.
• 26:42
  Speak for America.
• 26:43
  But anyway, I just thought it was so interesting to see such a different attitude and.
• 26:50
  And I don't know, French women, they.
• 26:52
  They're all so cool.
• 26:54
  And it just sounds.
• 26:55
  I don't know, it just seems like, wow, look, this is how you do it.
• 26:58
  They're cool because they don't allow themselves to be stressed about silly things.
• 27:03
  The way that I feel like American parents are obsessed with being stressed out.
• 27:06
  Like, the more stressed out, the better you're doing it.
• 27:09
  And that's absurd.
• 27:11
  Yeah.
• 27:11
  Yeah.
• 27:12
  No, no, I thought it was.
• 27:13
  I thought it was great.
• 27:14
  So.
• 27:14
  Yeah, that's.
• 27:15
  That's why it made the list.
• 27:16
  Yes.
• 27:17
  Love that one.
• 27:18
  Number five, good inside, by Dr.
• 27:20
  Becky, who we love.
• 27:21
  We love Dr.
• 27:23
  Becky.
• 27:24
  Oh, my gosh.
• 27:24
  She.
• 27:25
  She was like a revelation to me.
• 27:28
  I thought she was fantastic.
• 27:29
  I discovered her during the pandemic.
• 27:31
  She was making these videos that I think was keeping.
• 27:34
  They were keeping parents from, like, jumping out their windows, teaching them how to manage their kids at home in obviously a very psychologically fraught time.
• 27:45
  She truly was a life raft for so many parents.
• 27:49
  Well, her book, the way she organizes it, which I think is really good is that she gives you 10 concepts throughout the book.
• 27:57
  And I, I've noticed.
• 27:58
  And I'll tell you what the 10 are.
• 28:00
  I'll try to do it quickly, but chip, Chip team.
• 28:04
  Okay.
• 28:04
  But I, I will say, every time I see her doing anything online and she's talking about anything, it always relates to one of these concepts.
• 28:12
  So that's why these are important.
• 28:14
  But she says, first you assume that your child is good inside.
• 28:19
  And so if your child does some.
• 28:21
  Bad things, we can't explain every 10, we have to, well, I'll just tell you.
• 28:25
  Give us the list.
• 28:26
  This is a big one.
• 28:27
  Okay.
• 28:27
  Okay.
• 28:28
  If your child, if your child does something bad, you say, what is the most generous interpretation I could give to what just happened?
• 28:38
  And so you kind of give them the benefit of the doubt that they.
• 28:40
  Are inherently good inside, not bad inside.
• 28:43
  Yeah, assume it's a good.
• 28:44
  Their intent was good.
• 28:46
  She talks about how two things are true with kids and you've got to get into that mindset.
• 28:52
  I can say no to screen time and my child can also be upset about it, and that's okay.
• 28:58
  And so that's just something that parents have to get into their heads.
• 29:02
  She said, know your job.
• 29:04
  A parent's job is just to establish safety through boundaries and validation and empathy.
• 29:09
  And a child's job is to explore and learn through experience and emotion.
• 29:15
  Does your Pre K to 8th grader need help with academic skills, but you want to avoid the cost of a tutor?
• 29:21
  Join testingmom.com and your child will have access to any of the 30 plus premium learning programs on the Testing mom website.
• 29:29
  These are the same programs that schools use to enrich learning in the classroom, like Study Island, Moby Max Brain, Pop Scholastic, and more.
• 29:38
  And if your child has an important test coming up, whether it's for a gifted program, private school admissions, mid year assessment, or end of year achievement test, your Testing mom membership gives you access to thousands of practice questions
• 29:52
  just like the ones your child will have to answer for any test they take.
• 29:57
  They can practice using Testing Mom's printables, interactive questions, and fun test prep games.
• 30:02
  For just about $10 a month, you can join the over 1 million parents who have used Testing mom to enrich their child's learning and prepare them for school and testing success.
• 30:15
  The early years are very important, she says, so, you know, treat them accordingly.
• 30:23
  It's not too late though.
• 30:24
  If you change the way that you respond to your kids and they're a little bit old, they will change how they respond to you.
• 30:30
  If you've been a garbage bag to your kids, you can change.
• 30:36
  Okay?
• 30:37
  Resilience is more important than happiness.
• 30:39
  Teach your kids how to handle pain and hardship, because that's gonna happen in their life.
• 30:45
  And it's much more important for you to teach them how to handle that than to try to protect them from discomfort.
• 30:52
  This one really important behavior is a window into your child's feelings, thoughts, urges, and unmet needs.
• 31:00
  So if they misbehave, you can use that to understand how they're feeling inside.
• 31:08
  You need to reduce shame with your kids and increase connection with them.
• 31:13
  You need to tell them the truth about they know what's happening in your family.
• 31:18
  So, you know, don't try to lie to them.
• 31:20
  They'll see it.
• 31:22
  And then you have to take care of yourself.
• 31:24
  And so these are like her 10 tenets.
• 31:26
  And then she talks about all kinds of different situations that we get into with children.
• 31:32
  You know, children whining children, lying children, you know, being mean to their brothers and sisters and how she would handle it, given the 10 concepts.
• 31:42
  It's the kind of book that you should get.
• 31:45
  And what you do is, as situations arise, you then turn to the chapter that teaches you how to deal with it.
• 31:52
  It's not necessarily a book you need to read all at once.
• 31:55
  You keep it, and you whip it out when the situations happen.
• 31:59
  Like an encyclopedia.
• 32:00
  Yeah, exactly.
• 32:01
  Yes.
• 32:01
  And we love her.
• 32:03
  We love her.
• 32:04
  I love her ideas.
• 32:05
  I love her as a person, and she just seems so nice.
• 32:09
  I know.
• 32:09
  Love, Dr.
• 32:10
  Becky.
• 32:10
  Love, Dr.
• 32:11
  Becky.
• 32:12
  Number four is mindset by Carol Dweck, which isn't exactly a parenting book, but this idea of a growth mindset is so pervasive nowadays, both in school systems, in.
• 32:26
  In life, and it's an incredibly valuable thing to impart to your children that they don't have to be perfect and they don't have to be great at everything, but they have to have this idea that the more they
• 32:38
  work at something, the harder they work, the more they show up and practice.
• 32:43
  That's where the value is.
• 32:44
  That is where the growth occurs.
• 32:47
  Well, and she did research where she actually discovered that if, you know, you tell children.
• 32:54
  And they were given.
• 32:55
  There were two groups of kids, and they took an IQ test, and one group was told, well, you did well because you're so smart.
• 33:02
  And the other group was told, well, you did well, and it must be because you worked so hard.
• 33:07
  And the one group that was told, you know, you did so well because you were smart, they had a fixed mindset.
• 33:15
  Which is like, oh, I'm smart.
• 33:17
  And suddenly they don't want to show themselves as being fallible, you know?
• 33:23
  So we have a growth mindset right now because Tina and I have been trying to record this episode for about two hours.
• 33:29
  We have a compilation of about 14 separate files that we're gonna have to squish together.
• 33:35
  Yeah.
• 33:36
  So.
• 33:36
  But we can do it.
• 33:37
  But we can do it.
• 33:38
  We're not quitting.
• 33:39
  We are growing.
• 33:40
  Right.
• 33:40
  We have a growth mindset.
• 33:42
  So that's what you want in your kids because you want them to say, I can learn this.
• 33:46
  I can.
• 33:47
  I'm not expert yet, but someday I will be.
• 33:50
  Maybe we hope.
• 33:52
  I will never be an expert in microphones.
• 33:54
  No, but anyway, the.
• 33:56
  The point is, we want to teach our kids to have a growth mindset.
• 34:00
  And this book is so good because it shows you how to do that with your child.
• 34:05
  But also, you realize, oh, this applies to me, an adult.
• 34:09
  So it's, you know, works both.
• 34:10
  It works more than this applies to my spouse.
• 34:14
  This applies to everyone I've ever met.
• 34:17
  That's right.
• 34:17
  That's right.
• 34:18
  And so we.
• 34:18
  We really like this.
• 34:19
  Yeah.
• 34:20
  A good attitude is free.
• 34:22
  Everyone should read this book.
• 34:23
  Yeah, no, this is.
• 34:24
  This is really good.
• 34:25
  And then it was interesting because we read another book about how they raise kids in Denmark, and, like, a huge part of their cultural under beliefs is growth mindset.
• 34:37
  Although they don't call it that.
• 34:38
  They call it something else.
• 34:39
  Yeah, well, yeah.
• 34:40
  Their whole.
• 34:41
  Their whole bit is that everything can.
• 34:43
  Can be spun positively.
• 34:44
  Yes.
• 34:45
  No matter how negative is to sort of try and find the positive.
• 34:49
  Because those stories we tell ourselves become true at a certain point.
• 34:54
  The more you believe something or hear something about yourself, eventually you do start to believe it.
• 35:00
  Positive or negative.
• 35:01
  Yeah.
• 35:01
  No.
• 35:02
  Anyway, we love that book, so we put it in the top ten.
• 35:05
  Love Carol.
• 35:07
  All right, the next.
• 35:08
  What's number?
• 35:09
  Number three?
• 35:09
  Testing for Kindergarten by our very own Karen Quinn.
• 35:15
  Now, I have to say, I didn't put it.
• 35:17
  You put it there.
• 35:18
  You put this so you know we have integrity.
• 35:21
  Yeah, I didn't put it there.
• 35:22
  I let.
• 35:23
  I.
• 35:23
  I let.
• 35:23
  You had it in the list.
• 35:25
  Now why did you put it in?
• 35:26
  You really think it's in?
• 35:27
  Yes, I really do.
• 35:28
  It is really, truly number three for me because it's.
• 35:30
  I said this during the episode, which you should go back and listen to, but the title is a bit of a misnomer because it's not really about testing for kindergarten.
• 35:40
  In a way it is, but it's more about teaching Your kids how to learn and how to participate in their learning journey.
• 35:47
  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's like.
• 35:48
  It, it's all the things you should be doing with a child from the time they're born until they're five years old, which is.
• 35:56
  There's, there's a lot that they have to master and learn.
• 35:59
  And I kind of show you these are the things they need to learn in these first five years.
• 36:03
  Here's how to do it at home in a fun way.
• 36:06
  They won't even know they're learning.
• 36:08
  And by the way, a byproduct of this is if you do this with your child and then they have to take a test to get into private school or a gifted program, they're going to do really well.
• 36:19
  So that's.
• 36:19
  That's the secret.
• 36:20
  So that's.
• 36:21
  That.
• 36:22
  That's what the book is about.
• 36:23
  Yeah.
• 36:23
  And also it features many anecdotes about myself and my brother, which you will be fascinated by because we were fascinating children.
• 36:33
  Oh, absolutely.
• 36:34
  Well, in fact, that you were.
• 36:36
  Were my first to take an IQ test, and I was really bummed because it sounds like you were normal.
• 36:42
  Well, I'm actually not normal.
• 36:44
  First of all, take that back.
• 36:46
  Okay.
• 36:46
  I am twice exceptional.
• 36:47
  I am not exceptional.
• 36:48
  Just once.
• 36:49
  I am exceptional.
• 36:50
  Two times, which we learned, basically means I have very strong verbal skills and very weak math skills.
• 36:58
  So twice exceptional is not a terrible thing to be.
• 37:01
  It means you are exceptional.
• 37:03
  Exceptional.
• 37:04
  That's right.
• 37:04
  So that.
• 37:05
  That's true.
• 37:06
  But I'm just saying it was like, it's.
• 37:08
  It was just a.
• 37:08
  It was a book about my experience.
• 37:10
  I did talk about my kids.
• 37:12
  And it's the thing that kind of took me on this whole educational journey which, which was my own children.
• 37:19
  And I tried to just get down everything I learned and about gifted testing, private school testing, and what to do to really make sure your child knows.
• 37:29
  Do what to what?
• 37:30
  They are going to be expected to know when they start school.
• 37:34
  And that's all in the book.
• 37:35
  And, and, and there are a lot of funny stories.
• 37:38
  That's true.
• 37:39
  Hilarious.
• 37:40
  Hilarious.
• 37:40
  Hilarious.
• 37:41
  Hilarious.
• 37:42
  As my husband says.
• 37:43
  All right.
• 37:43
  Does dad really say that?
• 37:45
  He does goes hilarious.
• 37:47
  He's making fun of somebody with a New York accent.
• 37:49
  Oh, really?
• 37:50
  Yeah.
• 37:51
  I've never heard him say that.
• 37:53
  That's so funny.
• 37:54
  Says it.
• 37:55
  Oh, my God.
• 37:55
  Okay, the next book is.
• 37:57
  This is number two, second favorite, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.
• 38:02
  This is just an excellent read.
• 38:04
  Amy Chua is such a funny author.
• 38:08
  She's so funny.
• 38:09
  The stuff she Admits to in this book.
• 38:11
  I mean, it's.
• 38:13
  It truly.
• 38:13
  She is very brave.
• 38:15
  Yeah.
• 38:15
  In this year of our Lord 2026.
• 38:18
  To be honest about some of the stuff she did, however, how as intense as her methods are, and I found myself saying so many times, there is simply no way I would ever do this to my child.
• 38:29
  She got results.
• 38:31
  Her daughters are exceptional people.
• 38:35
  Very accomplished, very driven.
• 38:38
  And, I mean, you kind of can't argue with greatness.
• 38:41
  Well, I would say.
• 38:43
  I mean, I don't know.
• 38:44
  I.
• 38:44
  That's.
• 38:45
  What's the fun part of this book is that I knew it only really by reputation, and when I actually read it, it was just not what I expected.
• 38:53
  And so, because I think the media covered it so much when it first came out, and they took all the sensational moments, you know, like when she called her daughter garbage.
• 39:04
  And there were all kinds of moments that were pretty horrible to listen to or to read.
• 39:10
  But you realize that she's really also making fun of herself and, you know, and she didn't win with one of her daughters.
• 39:20
  One of her daughters, you know, was.
• 39:22
  Did grow up or did allow herself to be raised as a good Chinese daughter, as.
• 39:27
  Which is.
• 39:28
  Was her goal.
• 39:29
  But the other child rebelled completely.
• 39:32
  Lulu.
• 39:32
  And anyway, it was a great.
• 39:34
  It was a great read.
• 39:34
  You're absolutely funny.
• 39:37
  You could listen to it instead of reading it because it reads like a novel.
• 39:43
  And it's short.
• 39:44
  It's short.
• 39:45
  It's short.
• 39:45
  Which we love.
• 39:47
  Again, note to authors.
• 39:49
  A book does not have to be 300 pages.
• 39:51
  Yeah.
• 39:52
  And we love this one.
• 39:53
  We love that.
• 39:54
  There you go.
• 39:54
  Okay.
• 39:55
  And our number one favorite book was.
• 39:59
  Hunt Gather Parent by Mickalene Duclef.
• 40:03
  I think.
• 40:03
  I don't know if you say that.
• 40:04
  I have recommended this book to so many expectant parents and parents of children that are already here.
• 40:12
  I mean it.
• 40:13
  I loved this.
• 40:14
  This book.
• 40:15
  She gives you so much insight onto, like, these methods of parenting that are tried and true from all over the world.
• 40:24
  She talks about these really important things that we struggle to accomplish here in the United States, which is having kids that are well regulated emotionally, kids that participate a lot.
• 40:38
  What was the.
• 40:39
  What were they doing?
• 40:40
  There were the three.
• 40:41
  There were three, I guess, parts of the world where she went.
• 40:45
  The Yucatan Peninsula, the Maya culture where the kids were very helpful.
• 40:50
  The Inuit people in the Arctic Circle where they could really control their emotions.
• 40:57
  And then the last were in Africa, the Hadzabi.
• 41:03
  They were hunter gatherers and they're very confident and self.
• 41:08
  And she went and lived with all These families with her very difficult daughter.
• 41:15
  And she learned a lot about raising kids and how different it's done around the world.
• 41:20
  And then we also learned how so many practices in the west, and I guess when I say the west this time, I mean America, but maybe also Europe even, were.
• 41:32
  Came about because of, you know, male doctors who were dealing with.
• 41:38
  What were they.
• 41:39
  They were dealing with orphanages.
• 41:41
  Yeah.
• 41:41
  Foundling hospitals, which were basically.
• 41:46
  Basically orphanages with lots and lots of babies.
• 41:48
  And when you are trying to manage the care of, say, 50 babies and there's only 10 people, you have to implement systems to ensure that everybody gets taken care of for the most part.
• 42:00
  It.
• 42:00
  Whereas we.
• 42:03
  Most parents are typically dealing with one, maybe two babies at a time.
• 42:08
  And you can be a little bit more flexible.
• 42:11
  That rigidity that we are obsessed with in the United States about nap schedules, eating schedules, schedule schedules, you know, potty training, potty.
• 42:19
  Everything has to happen.
• 42:21
  Milestones, milestones.
• 42:23
  That's not the philosophy of these people.
• 42:25
  They're much more flexible.
• 42:27
  They allow their kids to kind of blossom at their own pace.
• 42:30
  They emphasize very different things than we emphasize here, which I appreciate so much, and I am trying to implement, implement, implement as many of these ideas as I possibly can here in the West.
• 42:47
  That's good.
• 42:48
  Okay.
• 42:48
  West.
• 42:49
  The West.
• 42:49
  Anyway, that was.
• 42:51
  We love this book.
• 42:52
  This was a really good.
• 42:53
  Love that.
• 42:53
  Love the book truly now.
• 42:55
  But before we go, the.
• 42:56
  Those were our top 10.
• 42:57
  But before we go, can I tell you the two books we read that I really don't like?
• 43:04
  Yes, teen, it's your pod.
• 43:06
  You can do whatever you want.
• 43:08
  Okay.
• 43:09
  Okay.
• 43:09
  I really want to do this because there were two books we read that I re in it in retrospect.
• 43:14
  Well, the first one.
• 43:15
  One of them I knew right away I didn't like, but this one, I.
• 43:19
  The more I read about discipline and punishment because we read many books that got into that.
• 43:24
  1, 2, 3.
• 43:26
  Magic.
• 43:27
  How did you know that's what I.
• 43:28
  Was gonna say in that book?
• 43:29
  I thought it was stupid.
• 43:30
  I know.
• 43:31
  I didn't like it either.
• 43:32
  And that's the book.
• 43:33
  I don't know if you remember.
• 43:34
  Well, you didn't read if you didn't read it.
• 43:36
  I'll tell you what it is.
• 43:36
  It's like when your child does something wrong.
• 43:39
  The first you say one, and that's their warning, which.
• 43:45
  That's their warning.
• 43:46
  And then when.
• 43:47
  Then you wait five seconds, and if they.
• 43:48
  They continue to misbehave, you say, that's two.
• 43:51
  And then if they continue to misbehave five seconds later you say, that's three.
• 43:56
  Take five.
• 43:57
  And they have to then take a rest period or for as long, I guess one minute for every year of their lives.
• 44:04
  It's basically teaching you to humiliate your child into submission.
• 44:09
  It really is.
• 44:11
  But after you have them go take their break or go in the corner or whatever you do because they've misbehaved, go in a garbage can, there's no discussion about what they did.
• 44:22
  You just, you just let them go so they don't learn anything.
• 44:27
  Now I would say, and I did read in one of the other books we were going to read coming up, that this methodology does work.
• 44:38
  It scares kids into behaving in some cases.
• 44:43
  But I still hated it.
• 44:44
  I just thought this is not a way to raise a child, to discipline a child.
• 44:49
  It feels lazy.
• 44:50
  Yeah.
• 44:51
  Honestly, it feels lazy.
• 44:52
  Like, how about try communicating with your child.
• 44:55
  Well, read Dr.
• 44:56
  Becky.
• 44:56
  Yeah.
• 44:57
  Behavior is a window.
• 44:59
  Okay.
• 45:00
  In.
• 45:00
  Yes.
• 45:01
  Not a wall.
• 45:02
  Yes.
• 45:02
  Yes.
• 45:03
  So we, we did not like 1, 2, 3 magic.
• 45:06
  So I don't recommend it.
• 45:07
  1, 2, 3 magic.
• 45:08
  Now the second book I did not like.
• 45:11
  I'm just gonna say it.
• 45:13
  Even though Kourtney Kardashian really likes this lady.
• 45:17
  She had her on the show being there.
• 45:21
  Why prioritizing motherhood in the first three years Matters by Teen.
• 45:26
  Felt personally attacked by this book.
• 45:28
  I did, I hated this book.
• 45:30
  And what the book is about is, is she says, and, and I'm sure she's right about the fact that the first three.
• 45:37
  We don't know that she's right.
• 45:38
  Don't give her credit.
• 45:39
  All right.
• 45:40
  The first three years of a child's life, a mom's physical presence is best.
• 45:45
  This is the formative time for children.
• 45:48
  And if you can possibly not work or if you have to work, only work part time, do that.
• 45:54
  But mothers should all reconsider the amount of time they commit to other activities besides being right there for their child.
• 46:02
  So I did not like this because I felt like she was, if you read it, it was all one sided.
• 46:10
  She cited many, many studies, all of which confirm her point of view.
• 46:16
  And then another book we read later that we're going to read for this, this season, we're told, no, this is not true.
• 46:24
  You can work or you can not work.
• 46:26
  The evidence, you know, says you can do either.
• 46:29
  It, you know, there's, your child will be fine.
• 46:32
  You don't have to worry.
• 46:33
  And I just got upset about it because I just felt like, like, you know, many women, we have to work.
• 46:39
  Yeah.
• 46:39
  She really condemns working women and in a way that's just kind of like, girl, why are we blaming moms?
• 46:47
  Why are we continuing to blame moms?
• 46:50
  I know plenty of kids whose moms stayed home who still ended up growing up to be horrible people.
• 46:55
  You never know.
• 46:56
  I, and I knew plenty of people whose moms worked who are wonderful, well adjusted, successful people.
• 47:01
  She.
• 47:02
  There is no, like, it's not a mutually exclusive situation.
• 47:07
  You know, this book was just way too one sided for me and I.
• 47:11
  So that's a book I personally don't recommend.
• 47:14
  She also cited some studies that were like kind of a reach.
• 47:17
  She talked about Romania, which, yes, was like, lady, okay, this is the most extreme possible example that you could have found and tell them what, what that.
• 47:26
  Okay, so what happened in Romania is in, I want to say the 50s and 60s.
• 47:31
  No, it was, it was later, it was like in the 70s.
• 47:33
  Oh really?
• 47:34
  Yeah.
• 47:34
  Oh my God.
• 47:35
  Okay.
• 47:35
  There was a dictator, his name was Nikolai Cesescu and he decided to outlaw abortion and in the interest of building a larger workforce and army.
• 47:45
  Unfortunately there was not a social infrastructure to support all of these new people coming into the population and a lot of families had to abandon children into orphanages.
• 47:55
  And the orphanages became so overrun and they were adopting kids out to all over the world that some of these kids didn't get any attention.
• 48:04
  Most of them didn't.
• 48:05
  Most of them didn't get attention.
• 48:06
  They weren't held, they weren't spoken to and it caused deep psychological issues.
• 48:12
  And again, most women who work are not abandoning their children to the streets or to an orphanage.
• 48:19
  They are going to work for a few hours a day and coming home and spending time with their child.
• 48:23
  So to compare the two situations, it's heavy handed it and like insane if you ask me.
• 48:30
  But again, if you.
• 48:32
  She doesn't give you that kind of context in the story.
• 48:34
  She basically says here's a study in Romania and I just happen to know what happened in Romania.
• 48:40
  Yeah.
• 48:41
  And like I just think again, she has a thesis and she's proven that thesis girl.
• 48:47
  And she's not going to deviate from that.
• 48:49
  So any information that does not support what she is trying to prove, she's not going to mention or she's going to obscure, which is not helpful.
• 48:57
  That's how we felt when we.
• 48:59
  I, you know, like I'm sure I, you know, if you went back, oh,.
• 49:02
  This was also the book where she goes, well, I guess I'm not a feminist, I don't know what you are,.
• 49:08
  But she said if, if not paying attention to your child and not being there for your child, you know, makes me not a feminist, then I'm not a feminist.
• 49:17
  It's like feminists don't believe in abandoning their children.
• 49:20
  No, stop, no.
• 49:21
  And we just, we just really got felt very annoyed and I don't know, I, I just really was offended by the whole thing.
• 49:32
  Yeah.
• 49:32
  The premise was like, okay, I mean, look, if you can serve, if you.
• 49:38
  Can stay home with your kids, I think that's great.
• 49:41
  You want to stay home with your child, make a choice.
• 49:44
  Right, Right.
• 49:45
  I think that's a great choice.
• 49:47
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 49:48
  You should make, make whatever as a mother, make whatever choice you want that is the right choice and your child will adjust accordingly.
• 49:55
  Because the most important thing for a happy, healthy child is a happy, healthy mother.
• 50:00
  Yes.
• 50:01
  And.
• 50:01
  And father, if possible.
• 50:02
  According to her.
• 50:03
  Fathers are.
• 50:04
  No, fathers really aren't that important to me.
• 50:06
  That's true.
• 50:07
  I forgot.
• 50:07
  She's like a father could be around, I guess, if he has to be.
• 50:11
  And it's like, wait, wait, I want my husband made a big difference in my kids lives, I think.
• 50:19
  And I'm just.
• 50:20
  She, she had a lot to say and a lot of it was kind of crazy.
• 50:24
  No, but, but it's a popular book.
• 50:26
  I, I guess I think it's a popular book among women who really need that reassurance that they made the right choice.
• 50:35
  Maybe.
• 50:36
  So.
• 50:36
  You know what I mean?
• 50:37
  And you know what, ladies?
• 50:38
  I'm here to tell you, you don't need any external validation.
• 50:41
  Any choice that you make in regards to your kids, barring hurting them, is a fine choice.
• 50:47
  Right.
• 50:48
  Absolutely.
• 50:49
  Anyway, so those were our two least favorite books of the season.
• 50:51
  So that.
• 50:53
  It was a fun season.
• 50:54
  It was a fun season.
• 50:55
  We loved doing it.
• 50:57
  Do you want to give the people a little preview on what's to come for our next season?
• 51:01
  Oh, well, gosh, so far, I mean, we have picked some really interesting books.
• 51:08
  I think we're gonna read.
• 51:09
  We're gonna be reading the Ferber book.
• 51:12
  Oh, yeah.
• 51:13
  So which I, you know, you guys are gonna be training.
• 51:15
  You're gonna be shocked what this book is actually about because everybody's heard of the fervor method, but let me tell you, you don't actually know what it is.
• 51:22
  No.
• 51:22
  Until you read the book.
• 51:24
  Because.
• 51:24
  And this book is long, so.
• 51:26
  You're welcome.
• 51:27
  Yeah, we read it.
• 51:28
  We.
• 51:28
  I mean, this is like 400 pages.
• 51:30
  Yeah.
• 51:30
  I mean it was a lot.
• 51:31
  You might even get that book next week.
• 51:32
  Who's to say Maybe so.
• 51:34
  And then we.
• 51:35
  We read several books by Emily Oster, who I think she's quite good.
• 51:40
  Yes.
• 51:41
  We read a book called Please Yell at My Kids.
• 51:44
  That was a fun one.
• 51:45
  That was an easy read.
• 51:46
  I liked that.
• 51:47
  And you know what?
• 51:48
  We're doing yesteryear.
• 51:49
  It's the only fiction we're gonna do.
• 51:51
  Yes.
• 51:51
  Okay, so we're gonna have a segment on trad wives and how that impacts child raising.
• 51:59
  We're also going to do an episode on homeschooling.
• 52:01
  If you are homeschool curious, that might be important.
• 52:05
  And gifted kids who you can learn.
• 52:07
  Is your child a genius or are they just regular?
• 52:11
  Either one is fine.
• 52:13
  But, yeah, that's our plan.
• 52:15
  So join us next week, and let's hope that this episode that we recorded today actually becomes an episode, because let me tell you guys, this has been an arduous experience trying to figure this out for ourselves, but I'm
• 52:29
  proud of us.
• 52:30
  Me too.
• 52:30
  For trying our growth mindset.
• 52:36
  Okay, we'll see you guys next week.
• 52:37
  Thank you guys so much.
• 52:39
  We'll see you next week.
• 52:40
  Wish us luck.