Latest / Here's to You / 046 - Finding our roots w/ Kara Billie

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046 - Finding our roots w/ Kara Billie · Here's to You

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  Cheers. Is that what you like?
• 1:19
  Huh. And.
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  That's really. Like blasted, tatted or just
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  like a little bit of tatted? At least some OK, you know, so
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  we. Can have a little heart right
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  here. Nah, hell no, no, My my toxic
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  trait is that I still like like a good neck tattoo and like
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  those are typically the dudes that I should not be talking to,
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  you know what I mean? Like.
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  Bad news. Yeah, like the big ass like and
• 1:49
  and I like those I like like a bad ass neck tattoo.
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  Like I don't want, I don't want to see no kisses on your you
• 1:55
  know, like the kiss one or like a name.
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  Yeah, or the cross. Like I'm Nah, I'm kind of like
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  OK, that's baby shit. But like, if you have like your
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  throat, man, that's hot. That throat chakra.
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  Yeah, that throat. Shocker is working.
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  But like my therapist says not to do stuff like that.
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  I'd like to tell her like that's when I relapse, but I haven't
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  relapsed in a long time. Your.
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  Therapist told. You not to fuck with dudes with
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  neck? No.
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  Well, she she reminds me of things I shouldn't do.
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  Or the thing she didn't say Girls with neck tattoos.
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  Right man, don't even tell me because like I would like to if
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  I wasn't such a pussy for I mean like I like tattoos.
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  I don't like the pain, you know? Actually, my neck tattoo was my
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  least one that hurt. Really.
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  Tattoos. Yeah.
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  You also have your hand though. Yeah, I think.
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  It also depends on the actual tattoo artist if their hands
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  heavy or not and I was fortunate to have like a person who had a
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  light hand so it didn't hurt. I do have the back of my ears,
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  like closer to my head. Those fucking sucked.
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  I didn't finish. I have a chess piece, it's my
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  Jesus piece and that one made me never want to get a tattoo ever
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  in my life again. But you went back.
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  But I did. That's what you do.
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  Yeah. Well, everybody, welcome into
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  the show. It's another episode of Here's
• 3:23
  To. You the podcast as.
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  You can hear we have a couple of voices in the room right now.
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  If you're watching, you can see our guest, Cara Billy today.
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  Hello. My favorite risk?
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  Famous fanister McAllister. Hello.
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  And we have a digital media assistant for auditioning today.
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  Hell yeah. Sorry boy, Corey.
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  Over there, shout out to Corey. He brought us some limes.
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  Yes, he did. He's the GOAT for that one.
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  He has the goat even though he doesn't have a neck tattoo, but
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  he's the goat. Kara, welcome into the show.
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  How are you feeling today? Feeling good.
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  I'm ready for this mocktail, y'all.
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  Yeah, to me. Oh, you're you're going to be
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  excited for it. It's a virgin cucumber gimlet.
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  So like we actually have some like non alcoholic gin.
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  Sorry Corey, I don't know if like Dusty told you that we were
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  going to have non alcohol today. OK, good, good, good.
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  No Sunday fun day today. No Sunday fun day, but like no
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  Carrie, we're super excited to have you on because like you're
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  a serial entrepreneur and you wear so many hats.
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  I mean, like you're a powerhouse in real estate.
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  Like that's your like main gig, right?
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  But like you're also a visionary.
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  So like that's what started shop risky.
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  That's what you've been going into now and you're the voice in
• 4:40
  that energy behind power talks. So like you're doing quite a
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  bit. I'm all over the place.
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  Sometimes I'm like, do I need to stop or do I need to just keep
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  going? Is.
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  That the ADHD. I haven't been officially
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  diagnosed, but you know, I might have to get that checked out.
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  Yeah, yeah, I love neuro spicy people.
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  Yes, I was born like this. You were Born This Way.
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  I was Born This Way. Shout out to.
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  Lady Gaga, is that her? Yeah, it was Lady Gaga.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  So like when you hear the word risk, Speaking of like, what's
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  the first moment in your career that kind of comes to mind?
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  Starting Shop Risky. So shop risky, shout out to the
• 5:20
  followers. Back in 2016 is when I started
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  shop risky, but it was actually actually risky vintage.
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  OK, so I actually rebranded throughout the years and how
• 5:32
  that started off was I was going through, I just had my first kid
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  and I was a new mom. So that was like 10 years ago,
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  right? Yes, a decade to go.
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  Don't remind me it's. OK, it's OK.
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  You're beautiful. 10 years ago and mind you, during this time,
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  a lot of people weren't really supporting the entrepreneur
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  journey. It was more like 9 to five
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  career, you know, versus you. Fast forward today, it's like
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  everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, which I 100%
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  support. I feel like there should be some
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  independence when it comes to, you know, just you being a human
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  being on earth. I feel like everybody has that
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  creative spirit that has been either untouched or has been
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  touched but doesn't know how to express it.
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  And for me, just really going through the fashion industry in
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  the world, I was always how we always had an eye of the tiger,
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  like thrifting was my thing. I would just thrift for fun.
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  I would dress up my friends and they would go in my closet and
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  buy my clothes. And so it was just like, I feel
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  like it was part of my destiny. It's part of my my journey that
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  I didn't know existed at the time.
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  And then when I had my son, you know, I was just like, I don't
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  want to go and work at a job. I want the freedom to be with
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  him. I want to be able to say, no, I
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  don't want to get up today if I'm not feeling it, you know,
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  just really have have my own way of doing things.
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  And I feel like, you know, every job that I had had, it just kind
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  of limited me, put me in a box. And I've always been like a risk
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  taker in that way of like, if you tell me to do this, I'm
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  going to do the opposite. And it got me in trouble a lot.
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  But there was sometimes where it was just like, I'm glad I made
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  that decision. And so through that journey, I
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  kind of was like, OK, what do I, what do I want to do?
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  What, what am I good at? And fashion was just kind of my
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  thing. And everybody was like, you need
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  to start something out of this. All my friends were like, you
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  know, you could personal style, you could do this, you could do
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  that. And so through that journey, I
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  just started selling my clothes to my friends I made at the
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  time. I don't know if you guys heard
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  of like Depop. Have you guys ever shopped on
• 7:41
  Depop? Depop, I've heard of it.
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  Depop, Poshmark. Oh yeah, yeah, the second hand.
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  Yeah, yeah. Apps, well, back in the day,
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  they still exist. Well, yeah.
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  Would you consider 10 years ago back in the day?
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  Yeah, not for me. Yeah, not for.
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  But. But I get what I get what
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  you're. Saying I'm like, that's a,
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  that's like a, a chapter, like a.
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  It is a chapter, but I hate to think of it like that because
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  I'm like, no, that was just yesterday.
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  I just feel like the world has changed so much.
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  It really hasn't that. I'm like, Oh my God, that was a
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  long time ago, but maybe it's. Not no.
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  It's fair because I was in Detroit back in like 2017 and I
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  went to, I can't remember the name, the Henry Ford Museum.
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  And they already had, and this is like 2017 and they already
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  had a whole section of 2000s memorabilia.
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  And I was like, damn, like that, though.
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  It's like that, that. That was quick.
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  I I accepted it. Yeah, I was like, what do you
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  mean? Like we're just talking about 17
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  years, right? It doesn't seem that far away,
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  but too many like my son, it's a it's been.
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  That's true. That's true.
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  That's true. He's like you're.
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  You're that OK? We're not going to do the math
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  on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  He's probably like, you're older than Google, right?
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  Like when they fight around. With slavery, I'm like, we're
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  kind of still in it, but. Yeah, that's another topic for
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  another day. But yeah, through that journey,
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  you know, I just decided like, hey, I'm going to take a risk on
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  myself. Like if I'm going to bet on
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  anybody in this world, it's going to be myself.
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  And I did not, I didn't go into the mindset of like, am I going
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  to fail? Am I going to, you know, I just
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  my number one thing is like, look, if it works out, it's
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  supposed to be for me. If it doesn't, then I'll just
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  find a way to make it work. Like I just, there was no Plan B
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  for me. I just was like, I'm going to go
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  for this. So through that journey I was
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  like, OK, what is something that really relates to me?
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  And it was just risk taking, just stepping out my comfort
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  zone, trying something new because like I had had
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  conversations with you earlier. I was just always the type to
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  just react off of what I wanted to do.
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  And I've always been that way since since I was a kid.
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  So I'm like, OK, I'm going to, I know I want to make a brand.
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  What do I want to do with this? I'm good at selling clothes.
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  Why not resell clothes? So I started on Poshmark and
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  Depop back in the day and started a whole store and it was
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  doing great. And then one of my greatest
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  moments happened because during this time I was really mapping
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  out like, what do I want my, you know, brand to represent?
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  And I was like, OK, risk taking. So I'm like, OK, risky vintage.
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  That's how risky vintage happened.
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  And then my brand was just take risk.
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  You know, I, I really enjoyed watching people try out the
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  craziest outfit and like, you know, just just, and making the
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  world be like who, who is that like, and just standing out and
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  not being like everybody else. And so I was helping people kind
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  of explore their identity through fashion because of that,
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  because I was, mind you, I'm dealing with people who they
• 10:44
  want to try new things, but they just don't know how to and they
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  want to explore that through fashion.
• 10:49
  Cause a lot of the times people will want to follow trends,
• 10:51
  which is fine right? Like as fashion is trends a lot
• 10:55
  of the times, like now that I can't wear skinny jeans, but I'm
• 10:58
  a fucking do whatever the fuck I want.
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  Like I'm a wear skinny jeans because I'm a wear skinny jeans.
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  But like, I think to your point, there is just a lot of noise all
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  the time. And then you just don't know how
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  to be expressive or like or afraid to be expressive too,
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  just because, like, people are a bit judgmental.
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  Yes. So I've always admired people
• 11:20
  who didn't give a fuck. Essentially, they're just like,
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  I'm gonna be me. And if the world don't accept
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  it, that's just what it is. The people who do those are the
• 11:29
  ones that are my people. Yeah, yeah, you'll find your
• 11:31
  people. Yeah.
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  And through that, you know, I formed a risky vintage, and then
• 11:38
  I had sold a Dior bikini to a pop star that I didn't know was
• 11:44
  a pop star at the time because I wasn't really listening to,
• 11:47
  like, pop music at the time. But I don't know if you guys
• 11:49
  know who she is. It's Madison Bear.
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  Do you know who? Oh, yeah, I do know.
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  Yeah, I do know who she is. Yeah.
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  And she? Was really cool and she bought a
• 11:56
  Dior bikini from me, a vintage one and then I wrote and she
• 12:00
  like blew up my store. On D, pop and.
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  So I'm like, you know what, I'm going to start my own store on
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  Instagram. Yeah.
• 12:07
  So I went and made a page and I told all my clients from my
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  because I had consistent clients through those platforms.
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  So if you ever want to get into selling your clothes, like you
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  can totally start there and then branch out to your and do your
• 12:20
  own thing. So bought something and I asked
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  her if she could tag me on Instagram.
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  I told her I was bringing my stores to Instagram and I wasn't
• 12:30
  going to be on the platforms anymore.
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  And she said oh, of course. And she reposted me and my store
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  just blew up. And from there, just kind of my
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  journey just took off and I think if I would have never took
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  that risk on betting and myself, like I would have never knew
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  what was possible. So at that time, were you full
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  time already into Risk I? Was half.
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  I was. I was half time.
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  Mom. OK, right, OK.
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  Stay. At home, mom, but I was doing, I
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  was selling clothes on the side. Damn, yeah.
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  Yeah, but that was kind of full time, but I wasn't fully in.
• 13:01
  I was kind of still in and out, you know what I mean?
• 13:03
  I wasn't taking it. I was kind of taking it as a
• 13:05
  hobby, but I was in the process of building a business, but I
• 13:08
  didn't really know what I was doing.
• 13:10
  Just kind of, I didn't have a mentor.
• 13:12
  I didn't, you know, I don't feel like social media was as
• 13:15
  advanced as it is today where you can open up an app and they
• 13:18
  can just show you how to do that.
• 13:21
  So I just had to like figure it out, trial through error.
• 13:25
  And I'm I'm actually glad I did it that way.
• 13:28
  Yeah. So then like what leads you into
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  real estate? Though so 10 years later moved
• 13:34
  to Wichita. I did that for 10 years.
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  I was in the fashion industry from building up my brand,
• 13:39
  worked with influencers, fashion stylists.
• 13:42
  I traveled from LA to New York consistently, constantly doing
• 13:46
  productions, fashion shows. And it was just, it was great.
• 13:51
  I'm not going to lie. It was a lot of a lot of the
• 13:53
  best years of my life. But as my son started to get
• 13:56
  older, I had to start thinking about like, where I wanted, you
• 13:59
  know, to be planted and grow in that area.
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  And so I opened up a shop here in Wichita.
• 14:05
  So if you guys went and shopped at Shop Risky, shout out to you
• 14:08
  guys. I actually still get calls.
• 14:10
  I love it. People still call me like, hey,
• 14:13
  where's your store? And I'm like, oh, it's not there
• 14:15
  anymore. Yeah, yeah.
• 14:17
  They find my numbers, so I love. It.
• 14:20
  And they reach out to me. So through that process is how I
• 14:24
  got into real estate. I opened up a store in Delano.
• 14:28
  I wish I would have known y'all known y'all when that happened
• 14:31
  because I would have totally styled y'all.
• 14:33
  Wait. What are you saying?
• 14:35
  Do I look like shit? Y'all?
• 14:37
  She just told me I look like shit.
• 14:39
  Are you about to tell me that this blue hair doesn't look good
• 14:41
  on me? Because like, you know, like
• 14:43
  those, you know, those tests where it's like you can do a
• 14:46
  test to see if like that's your skin tone or like your skin
• 14:50
  tone, what colors will match with you and what will, what
• 14:53
  will work and what won't. Like, I'm so afraid to do things
• 14:55
  like that because I don't want them to tell me to take off the
• 14:58
  blue. Like I don't want them to be
• 15:00
  like, that's not your color. The blue fits you OK, It
• 15:03
  wouldn't fit me though. I was about to be like bitch.
• 15:08
  Well, I gave you guys asked y'all the best question y'all
• 15:12
  get asked and that was, are you a thrifter?
• 15:14
  Because if I ask you that, that means I, I send some type of
• 15:17
  style and identity within you. OK, I know that's like a deep
• 15:21
  like I turn that in, but if I don't ask you if you're a
• 15:24
  thrifter, I know you're not one. And you're like, Nah, they don't
• 15:27
  got OK, So like, OK, so say you had a stylist, like what would
• 15:30
  you do? Well, I would do something
• 15:33
  completely opposite of what you're not comfortable with.
• 15:36
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would totally get you out of
• 15:38
  your comfort zone. So what do you normally like to
• 15:40
  wear? You seem that's why you seem
• 15:43
  like you wear some crazy shit. Yeah, sometimes, like, or like I
• 15:46
  like, just like weird things. OK.
• 15:49
  I like weird things. Yeah.
• 15:51
  Like, just things that you're like, oh, those are some
• 15:53
  interesting pants. Like, you sure you want to wear
• 15:55
  that? It's like, yeah, they have faces
• 15:56
  on them. Like I want to wear these pants.
• 15:59
  They look cool, but I like things like that.
• 16:02
  But then also sometimes I feel like I can be a little
• 16:05
  alternative in that side. Alternative like what?
• 16:08
  Like e-mail? Yeah, yeah.
• 16:11
  It's the blue. It's the blue.
• 16:12
  I know it's the eyeliner. I did the eyeliner one time in
• 16:16
  middle school and then I never looked back.
• 16:18
  And I, and when I die, like someone will need to put some
• 16:21
  eyeliner on me too, because I'm gonna be, if I do not die with
• 16:24
  eyeliner, like I'm going to be really upset and I might come
• 16:27
  back and haunt everybody. Eyeline on her please and it.
• 16:32
  Needs to be winged. It needs to be winged to.
• 16:34
  Somebody. Somebody.
• 16:35
  About his look at this, look at this jersey, can you take a
• 16:38
  moment? Like, I actually appreciate that
• 16:40
  it has some character to it. It looks like it's been worn
• 16:43
  like 50 times. I haven't heard it probably 50
• 16:46
  times. That's what I appreciate, the
• 16:48
  history, the history. You do have really cool ass
• 16:52
  jerseys though. I think Dusty realizes his.
• 16:54
  Style, No, he does have good good jerseys.
• 16:57
  I mean like actually you do have good style because like I feel
• 17:00
  like when you wear your backpacks, I like a lot of dudes
• 17:04
  would not wear backpacks like that.
• 17:06
  Like I don't know, I appreciate that.
• 17:07
  Like, I think I think like dudes.
• 17:09
  Do you wear? He loves.
• 17:11
  The those little mini ones, you know, like like little anime
• 17:15
  girls wear like the little. I gotta I don't know if I see
• 17:20
  you wearing that they're. Cool.
• 17:23
  No, like for real. For real.
• 17:24
  They're cool. Sometimes.
• 17:25
  Sometimes I roll up to the DJ gig and I only need to bring
• 17:28
  like my flash drive and headphones, so I'll just throw
• 17:30
  it into that little bag instead of like my bigger bag.
• 17:34
  OK, we need a picture. Of that, yeah.
• 17:36
  Like he'll like, he has like Hello Kitty ones, too.
• 17:39
  He's really into Hello Kitty. I have Hello Kitty shirts.
• 17:42
  Yeah, but but I. Thought you.
• 17:43
  Had a bag. My bags are anime bags.
• 17:45
  And I thought you had a Hello Kitty one.
• 17:47
  No, them them things are kind of pricey.
• 17:49
  Oh, because I'm thinking of that one time.
• 17:51
  Then we went to Box. Yeah.
• 17:53
  Right, that's what it's called. Yeah, I was like, look how dope
• 17:55
  this bag is. Yeah, that's what I was
• 17:57
  sticking. Out.
• 17:57
  I'm a bag man. I like bags.
• 17:59
  Yeah, he's, yeah, he has a lot. Of bags.
• 18:00
  I'm trying to picture you. What a hello, kid.
• 18:05
  I we have some on on Instagram like the pic where you fucking
• 18:09
  farted on me for Christmas like you were wearing a backpack.
• 18:14
  I am wearing the backpack in that picture.
• 18:15
  Yeah, you're wearing a backpack in that.
• 18:17
  Picture OK does your fart stink? Yeah, bro.
• 18:20
  I mean it depends on. Like, yeah, sometimes.
• 18:24
  People as far as do not stink. No, his parts stink it.
• 18:27
  Depends on what has been eaten. You know that day.
• 18:31
  No, and they're fucking loud. Oh.
• 18:34
  Sometimes. Sometimes.
• 18:36
  Sometimes I get the ninja ones that come through.
• 18:39
  And then he just the. Ninja ones are in and out like
• 18:42
  quick what the fuck happened? Like you like you like jump and
• 18:49
  karate chop because you're just like.
• 18:50
  Yeah. Have you seen those reels lately
• 18:53
  that have been coming out where it's like a girl who she's like,
• 18:59
  she's like a really, really pretty girl.
• 19:00
  And then it's like, oh, I wonder why she's over there all alone
• 19:03
  in this corner. And then like it zooms into her
• 19:06
  and it's like and it's her fucking farting it up.
• 19:11
  That would be me, but nobody would know.
• 19:17
  That's not that hard. Is that the same is that nobody
• 19:19
  would know? There's the other one where like
• 19:22
  the guy is coming to talk to her.
• 19:23
  She's like in the corner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:25
  The the the trend I'm talking about.
• 19:27
  Yeah, and then she just casually walks off.
• 19:30
  Trying to fight on her to fight. Yeah, stinks over here.
• 19:32
  What are you doing over here? Just like I came over here to
• 19:35
  fart. Yes, yes.
• 19:36
  That's the trend I'm talking about, yeah.
• 19:39
  I haven't seen that trend, no. You guys, this algorithm will
• 19:42
  probably be crazy. I'm worried about it.
• 19:46
  What's on your algorithm? Like what?
• 19:48
  Like on your Instagram? Or a lot of fashion, a lot of
• 19:51
  fashions, a lot of quotes, and a lot of podcast stuff like this.
• 19:57
  Yeah, get up and win. You know when you're about to
• 20:01
  sit down, get your ass up, or you're lazy.
• 20:04
  OK. Yeah, yeah.
• 20:07
  Just motivational stuff or like healthy recipes?
• 20:13
  OK, I'm. Trying to get on my.
• 20:14
  Yeah, healthy vibes, miners, like tattoos, like some painting
• 20:20
  podcasts, and then like a bunch of dumb bullshit like like
• 20:25
  starting videos. No, no, that happens because of
• 20:28
  this guy and he fucks up my algorithm.
• 20:32
  But like when you start sending me all this shit, I'm like stop
• 20:35
  sending me stuff like this. Oh, so people can mess up your
• 20:40
  algorithm? That way they can oh wow, if
• 20:42
  you're interacting with it too, like say.
• 20:45
  Like if you're watching it and then you open.
• 20:47
  It. Yeah, yeah.
• 20:48
  Because that's how the algorithms work.
• 20:50
  I work in tech. That makes sense.
• 20:53
  Yeah. I'm like, how does she know so
• 20:55
  much shit? Like, yeah, yeah, but yeah, no.
• 21:00
  And then like also, I speak Spanish.
• 21:02
  I love when I get on like Spanish Instagram stuff, like
• 21:06
  when I get all the Spanish stuff, like, I don't know,
• 21:08
  they're really funny to me. Unfortunately don't, but I want
• 21:12
  to learn. Yeah, I should.
• 21:14
  Yeah, you should. I feel like that kind of got
• 21:17
  lost in a lot of our ancestral culture.
• 21:21
  Right, because you said that you are a Native American.
• 21:24
  You're also Mexican. Mexican Yosoi.
• 21:26
  Megana, I know how to say that. Everyone wants, everyone wants
• 21:31
  to be Latina lately, but they need some stuff on.
• 21:34
  I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
• 21:35
  No, that was good. Yeah, they're good.
• 21:38
  They're good. And.
• 21:40
  Selena is my favorite artist. Yeah.
• 21:43
  Oh, OK. I really did grow up on Selena
• 21:46
  though. Yeah, well, I mean, she's that
• 21:47
  girl. She is that girl.
• 21:49
  She died when I was born, which was really sad.
• 21:51
  Well, that a couple months later do.
• 21:52
  You think she would still be making music if she.
• 21:56
  I think she would have, yeah. I don't see why not.
• 21:58
  Yeah, but I think her dad was a little controlling too.
• 22:02
  A bit. I mean, he was probably overly
• 22:04
  protective, you know, Spanish dads.
• 22:06
  And yeah, they are very overprotective.
• 22:08
  My dad was very strict, which is why I have blue hair and tattoos
• 22:12
  now. Yeah.
• 22:15
  When he tries to tell me something, I'm like, I'm just
• 22:17
  kind of your fault because you also told me to.
• 22:20
  You taught me how to be a man when I was a girl.
• 22:23
  And so now I'm. Doing shit aside, my dad
• 22:25
  actually gave me the freedom and I still was wild so.
• 22:32
  So yeah, where where do you get the risky from then?
• 22:35
  Probably my parents, they were always just very free and a
• 22:40
  little wild. So I think it's just in my DNA.
• 22:43
  Yeah, yeah, I've always been that way as as a child.
• 22:48
  I don't know My my teachers used to say like you should be a
• 22:51
  lawyer. Because it's the same, same.
• 22:53
  I love to argue yeah, when I when I but I had good.
• 22:56
  Points. Yeah, good questions.
• 22:58
  Not exactly. Exactly.
• 22:59
  I used to when I was little, I wanted to be a Supreme Court
• 23:03
  Justice. That's what I wanted to do.
• 23:06
  Yeah, I love that. But like still, with all the
• 23:09
  shit that I look like, like I I wouldn't just change my style
• 23:14
  because of that, you know, that's.
• 23:15
  Really what I'm trying to do in real estate, you know, I have
• 23:20
  actually girls reach out to me all the time and just ask me
• 23:23
  about like, hey, I want to get into real estate.
• 23:25
  But it's, it's a very intimidating industry when you
• 23:28
  think about it, 'cause you feel like you have to present
• 23:30
  yourself in a certain way. You feel like you have to look a
• 23:33
  certain way. Yep.
• 23:35
  And I'm just like coming in just tattooed up and freaking St.
• 23:41
  wear like, Yep, I'm here for the meeting and, you know, just
• 23:44
  myself and still doing deals, still, you know, making money.
• 23:48
  So I think it's just setting a new example that like that's not
• 23:52
  how it's supposed to be and that's how it's not going to be
• 23:56
  in a couple of years. And I'm actually loving it
• 23:59
  because even me getting into real estate, that was one of my
• 24:02
  first thoughts too. You know, I'm walking in a room
• 24:05
  full of older men and they're all suited up and I'm just like.
• 24:10
  In your jersey. Yeah, walking in like, hey.
• 24:13
  And they're like, this girl does not belong here, but I do.
• 24:16
  Yeah. So you just create your space
• 24:18
  and, you know, you make you make that space and you curate that
• 24:22
  space. And, you know, you just have to
• 24:24
  really build that confidence. That's like, yeah, I deserve to
• 24:27
  be here, too. If not, create your own table.
• 24:30
  Yeah. What side of real estate are you
• 24:32
  in? Are you in retail or commercial
• 24:34
  or? I'm in residential.
• 24:36
  Well, at first, yeah. That guy, that's what I meant to
• 24:39
  say. Well, when I told her before I
• 24:42
  got my license, I actually started working with the company
• 24:45
  that did rent to owns and owner financing.
• 24:48
  So these are other creative strategies that people are may
• 24:51
  not or may know about. So I was, I was actually
• 24:54
  grateful. I didn't know at the time that
• 24:57
  these creative strategies will actually be very beneficial for
• 25:00
  me to learn early on, but I'm glad I did.
• 25:03
  And then when I got my license, I got into a residential
• 25:08
  brokerage. My first broker, she was from
• 25:11
  Kenya. She was such a.
• 25:13
  Boss shout out to. Jamima OK love her.
• 25:16
  She taught me a lot and through that I learned a lot of
• 25:20
  structure, I learned a lot of discipline.
• 25:22
  I did a lot of first time home buyers, but I knew early on when
• 25:27
  I got into real estate just through owning my store, I
• 25:30
  wanted to get in commercial real estate.
• 25:32
  So I eventually had to split ways with her and get with a
• 25:36
  commercial broker. And so I worked with the
• 25:40
  commercial broker for almost a year and learned all about the
• 25:43
  commercial side. Then overall I just got into
• 25:46
  investment property. So investment properties can be
• 25:49
  residential or commercial. And going back to your original
• 25:53
  question, I don't think I answered because of my ADHD.
• 25:56
  That's all right. Sorry.
• 25:58
  This is how the pod goes. Like, we're just going to do
• 26:01
  this a lot. We're going to do this a lot.
• 26:04
  But full circle moment you originally asked me how I got
• 26:07
  into real estate and it was because when I opened up my
• 26:09
  store, I was on the leasing side as a tenant.
• 26:13
  And I was learning a lot of like, man, I was like, I could
• 26:16
  own a building and make make, you know, have somebody pay for
• 26:20
  my rent instead of me paying out money and paying somebody else's
• 26:24
  mortgage on this whole building. And from there, just kind of
• 26:27
  motivating me when my lease was up to try out real estate and
• 26:30
  learn because I knew it would give me the advantage of
• 26:34
  learning about financial structure and also putting me in
• 26:37
  the rooms with people who have these big portfolios and have
• 26:41
  these restaurant owners, you know, apartment owner and build,
• 26:45
  you know, just all of what's behind the scenes.
• 26:49
  And I was always curious to know just for my knowledge so that I
• 26:52
  can teach my people and my family and, you know, for
• 26:56
  myself, so. That's kind of, well, commercial
• 26:58
  real estate for sure does have a different feel to it.
• 27:01
  Like as in like again, you're talking suits, you're like or
• 27:04
  commercial investment property, all of that.
• 27:06
  Like, yeah, it's not typical people who might look like you,
• 27:10
  right? Or like if we're talking about
• 27:11
  the stereotype, which is great that like you're in it in that
• 27:15
  sense, how'd you get like, cuz to even get it, like we're
• 27:19
  talking big money, what'd you do?
• 27:22
  Hey, I sold my first office building this year, yay.
• 27:25
  Congrats. I've, I've knocked out a lot of
• 27:28
  things I wanted, you know, real estate, you get in it and you're
• 27:32
  kind of like, this is what I want to do, but it could go
• 27:34
  either way. You know, there's just so, so
• 27:36
  many avenues and ways that you can go.
• 27:38
  But I will say this, I wasn't getting into real estate to be a
• 27:42
  real estate, a realtor my whole life I knew I wanted to be on
• 27:46
  the. Investment side.
• 27:47
  So I'm like. OK.
• 27:48
  If I want to be an investor, I need to play.
• 27:49
  I need to place myself in these rooms with people who are our
• 27:53
  investors because then I know how they think.
• 27:55
  I know how they move. I know what they do with their
• 27:57
  money. And from there, you know, I got
• 28:01
  into property management. I have a client out in Virginia
• 28:05
  and I manage his properties here and he won't see this.
• 28:09
  So I'll say, I'll say through that experience just learning
• 28:14
  when he decides he wants to sell his portfolio off, I will step
• 28:18
  in and hopefully. Nice.
• 28:20
  You know, pitch myself to what, you know, get in there and maybe
• 28:25
  I can own the portfolio. So, you know, I think just going
• 28:29
  through the journey, being intentional about what what you
• 28:32
  want to do with that career. Some people, they just like the
• 28:34
  buying and selling and, you know, helping out with the home
• 28:37
  buyers, for example, And I enjoy that too.
• 28:40
  And I still do that. So if you are a first time home
• 28:42
  buyer, feel free to come to me because I do work with a lot of
• 28:46
  first time home buyers. A lot of a lot of agents don't
• 28:48
  like to because it's a very emotional process.
• 28:51
  You know, people, they just, they're emotional beings and,
• 28:56
  and that's a big risk to take And that's a big, you know,
• 29:01
  that's a process that sometimes can be overwhelming for people.
• 29:04
  So I think with my emotional intelligence, my patience and my
• 29:08
  understanding through my motherhood, for me being a mom
• 29:12
  is helped, helped me with, you know, understanding people and
• 29:15
  being patient with people in that way.
• 29:17
  So I still like to do the first time home buying, but I'm more
• 29:20
  on the investment property side of things right now.
• 29:23
  Yeah, yeah. So like again, you know, you're
• 29:28
  using your mom hood as like your your empathy really like that's
• 29:32
  your main thing that you're using as you're going into real
• 29:35
  estate. But like something that we also
• 29:36
  talked about a little bit or even just like with fashion
• 29:40
  risks to like sometimes as a woman and a very male dominated
• 29:44
  industry, there's a lot of over sexualization sometimes, right.
• 29:49
  So like kind of let's let's talk about some of the hardest
• 29:53
  stereotypes that you've had to deal with.
• 29:56
  Well, Dusty, I want to ask you, how do you feel about that?
• 30:01
  It sucks. Do you see it?
• 30:03
  OK, this is an honest question. Do you see it on your side of
• 30:06
  things, like as a male, do you ever witness that?
• 30:10
  I don't like in, you know, your years of living, have you ever
• 30:14
  witnessed a guy sexualize a woman in a professional manner
• 30:19
  or. Like in a professional manner or
• 30:22
  setting? Yeah, I'm always curious to see
• 30:26
  if I'm always curious to see if a male because I know we.
• 30:30
  Yeah, but I'm always. Curious to hear if like a male
• 30:33
  ever catches on to that. Yeah.
• 30:35
  I mean, yeah, like not like I'm trying to think like probably
• 30:41
  not really at most of the day jobs I can think of that I've
• 30:45
  had throughout the years. But I mean like, it's
• 30:50
  essentially what Twin Peaks is. Right.
• 30:53
  Yeah, you. Walk in there and it's.
• 30:55
  But that's a setting, yeah. That's a different setting for
• 30:58
  that. Yeah.
• 31:00
  Yeah, I used to like. Words not, I mean.
• 31:03
  Like in your day, I guess your day-to-day jobs.
• 31:05
  How about like at the club or something when I'm D Jing?
• 31:09
  Right. Like I feel like that's a
• 31:10
  different setting too. Like, I'm not talking that it's
• 31:15
  OK to like, come up and grope a girl, right?
• 31:17
  Obviously. But like, you're out and about.
• 31:21
  Like we're talking about like in the workplace.
• 31:24
  Like have you ever like, seen like a dude or like, OK, like.
• 31:28
  Places where there's HR to worry about, yeah.
• 31:31
  Essentially, yeah, Yeah. Yeah.
• 31:32
  Not with my own eyes, no. Yeah.
• 31:35
  But I mean, there's always stuff that does happen and then you,
• 31:39
  like might hear about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:43
  I like, I wonder too, like if guys ever like hear or like
• 31:47
  catch on to that because like there would be times that like,
• 31:50
  because again, I do work a corporate job, but like in my
• 31:53
  previous corporate job, man, like I remember that like and
• 31:58
  even like earlier on in my career, I feel like older.
• 32:02
  I try to just kind of stay away or there is certain stuff like
• 32:05
  in my corporate career, like I won't wear certain clothing like
• 32:10
  skirts or dresses very much because like I have been
• 32:13
  sexualized at work and I don't like that.
• 32:16
  But like this one time, like I was just wearing these jeans
• 32:19
  that I mean, they or these slacks that yes, they do fit
• 32:22
  nice, but like all of my slacks fit like that.
• 32:24
  I'm sorry, I'm Latina. Sometimes you just can't help
• 32:28
  it. Yeah.
• 32:29
  And like, dude, like, I was walking out of work and like,
• 32:33
  this was somebody else who works there.
• 32:35
  Like, he literally whistled at me.
• 32:37
  It was the most uncomfortable thing ever.
• 32:39
  This other time, like I was setting up, like, for a meeting
• 32:43
  that we were doing. And this dude just, like, walked
• 32:44
  by and, like, came up to me and started, like, trying to talk to
• 32:48
  me. And like, hey, like, I'd like to
• 32:50
  volunteer. How can I volunteer with you?
• 32:52
  And I'm like, oh, I can connect you to this person.
• 32:54
  And then he was like, but I want to hear from you.
• 32:56
  And I'm like. You already then gave off.
• 32:59
  Creepy. Bags, dude.
• 33:00
  And then like it always happens to me that like my boss is
• 33:03
  around too, or like someone walks around when that happens.
• 33:06
  And I, it just, I feel like the girl always, always the one that
• 33:09
  looks bad. Like even if it's a girl too,
• 33:12
  like that is the boss. Like when they see a dude doing
• 33:16
  that to you, like I feel like I'm the one that looks bad.
• 33:20
  Like it's never the dude that looks bad.
• 33:22
  It's always like, OK, well, why were you wearing that?
• 33:24
  Why were you in that position to be in there?
• 33:26
  And it's like, what the fuck? Like I was just doing my job.
• 33:29
  Yep. So my, I experienced that I had
• 33:32
  a conference in, I had a commercial conference in Las
• 33:37
  Vegas. And my old broker, who I'm no
• 33:39
  longer with, thank God, he had made a comment.
• 33:43
  I had me and the girls had picked out cute outfits.
• 33:46
  We were excited for, you know, 'cause we're not really focused
• 33:48
  on what we're going to, who we're going to attract in that
• 33:51
  way because our mind is not like, oh, you know, wondering
• 33:55
  what other people are going to think.
• 33:57
  It's just going like, hey, we want to look aesthetically cute
• 33:59
  and those type of things. And he had made a comment that I
• 34:03
  had dressed like sexually and I literally just had a nice skirt
• 34:08
  two piece but the skirt was past my.
• 34:10
  Yeah, yeah, my skirt. Yeah.
• 34:12
  Exactly. But either way it goes, it's
• 34:14
  like you're still sexualizing something that isn't supposed to
• 34:17
  be, you know, sexualized in the 1st.
• 34:19
  Place or even as simple as red lipstick.
• 34:21
  Yeah. Like I've been in places where,
• 34:23
  like they've said, like don't be wearing red lipstick.
• 34:25
  It's like, dude, I can get attention wearing the most bummy
• 34:28
  ass clothes. Do you think I want attention in
• 34:30
  this? Like, no, yeah.
• 34:34
  So it's just I I deal with it. I feel like I deal with it a
• 34:36
  lot. Not so much more about the a
• 34:38
  comment like in per SE, but it's just like, hey, let's meet up
• 34:43
  for a drink. And then when we meet up, it's
• 34:45
  like conversations about hey, so like, you know, what do you like
• 34:49
  to do? And I'm like, OK, well, what
• 34:52
  about this deal? Can we get a deal done?
• 34:54
  You know? And then after that, it's just
• 34:56
  kind of like, I don't even want to deal with you anymore because
• 34:58
  you already put me in that bracket.
• 35:00
  And then it kind of offends me in a way of like, you not taking
• 35:04
  me serious. And you know, already, as a
• 35:07
  woman, I feel like that's a fight in a battle itself.
• 35:09
  All the time. Yeah.
• 35:10
  Like that. You're trying to like, be like,
• 35:12
  yeah, this this is who I am. Can you look at my skill set?
• 35:15
  Yes. But then also the the risk taker
• 35:19
  fierce side of me is just like, I'm not going to dumb myself
• 35:22
  down for this guy, like I'm still going to wear what I want
• 35:25
  to wear. But obviously, you know,
• 35:27
  sometimes it in certain situations I do watch what I
• 35:32
  wear just because I know the reactions that I will get.
• 35:36
  But I also try to not make that, you know, dumb down my, I guess
• 35:41
  my light or whatever you should say, you know, like my
• 35:44
  confidence when I come in the room because it's like they're
• 35:46
  immediately going to. That thought process is more so
• 35:49
  you can feel it than actual words itself.
• 35:54
  Yeah. But then like, you know, how do
• 35:57
  I say this? Like I think for the times that
• 36:00
  you're out in a business deal and they're you're trying to get
• 36:03
  them to talk about the deal and then they start to talk to you
• 36:06
  about something else. Like to some degree, I feel like
• 36:09
  you're always trying to get them to go back on track.
• 36:13
  And it does kind of suck that like you're trying to play this
• 36:16
  this like come back over here instead.
• 36:19
  And we're like, you know, versus like, when do you just like say,
• 36:23
  OK, we're done, you know, because like you also ending up
• 36:27
  something abruptly, it goes back on you.
• 36:29
  It doesn't go back on him, I think.
• 36:31
  Also it's it's you just have to you just have to know that
• 36:35
  person or like navigate the situation because, you know,
• 36:40
  when you are in real estate, it is about relationships.
• 36:42
  Yeah. So sometimes people just want to
• 36:44
  get to know you true, you know? Yeah, that's true.
• 36:47
  I mean like, it's like they just.
• 36:48
  Want like, yeah, we'll get to the numbers and we'll get to
• 36:50
  this, but who are you? Because sometimes, believe it or
• 36:53
  not, people want to work with you because they like you as a
• 36:57
  person. Most of the time.
• 36:59
  That's probably 99% of the time, yeah.
• 37:01
  So it's like, yeah, we have these conversations.
• 37:03
  But then when it gets to start in like comments or flirt, you
• 37:06
  can feel the flirtation. Then it's a little
• 37:08
  uncomfortable, but you know, sometimes you just play friendly
• 37:12
  and you, you know, keep that conversation going and kind of
• 37:14
  ignore. And if it's if it's friendly
• 37:16
  little, you know, slick comments, you're like, OK, I can
• 37:19
  ignore that and move on. But if it's like consistently
• 37:22
  and you know it's going to be an issue, then you just, you know,
• 37:25
  from there you get the deal done and then if not, you just move
• 37:29
  on. Yeah, at that.
• 37:30
  Point. For sure.
• 37:33
  Yeah, like, so I was going to say like, Dusty even like, just
• 37:38
  curious because like, you're also pretty ambitious as a dude.
• 37:41
  Like, you do a lot of shit, like, you know, DJ podcasts,
• 37:43
  other stuff. I mean, you don't think of
• 37:45
  yourself in that way. I know you don't see.
• 37:47
  DJ Where do you see DJ? At next Friday, you'll be at the
• 37:52
  dive. This will already have passed.
• 37:55
  By the. Time everybody hears this, but
• 37:57
  yeah, I'll be at the dive next week and then, well.
• 38:00
  Where are you at consistently? Or is it just?
• 38:02
  I'm nowhere consistently. I'll just ride it.
• 38:05
  The DJ life. Do you do your own events?
• 38:11
  Not really. Just people hit me up and like,
• 38:14
  hey, can do you want to do this? And then I think about it.
• 38:19
  Do I want to do it? Does he a great businessman you
• 38:23
  guys like? So like, you see how he does
• 38:25
  that, how fun it is to be business partners in a podcast
• 38:30
  together. Hey, the freedom of choosing
• 38:34
  what you want to do, not what you have to do.
• 38:36
  True, like my cousin does the ICT bazaar stuff he usually
• 38:41
  hasn't come out and promote. Who's your cousin, Danny?
• 38:45
  OK, I know, Danny. Yeah, because I remember you
• 38:48
  guys doing. He has dummy apparel.
• 38:52
  Yep. Yeah, shout out to Danny.
• 38:54
  So do those at the end of the month that got AK Pop event
• 38:59
  doing that couple weddings a year.
• 39:03
  You must soda pop. That's the only K pop song I
• 39:06
  know. That's.
• 39:07
  The one everybody knows, right? Now.
• 39:10
  And they do that little shoulder dance with it.
• 39:13
  It seems like I need to know about these trends.
• 39:14
  I don't know shit about them. Couple weddings a year when I
• 39:17
  feel like it, you know, just yeah, just whatever.
• 39:20
  The weddings are fun. Yeah, I was bringing it up
• 39:23
  because like, sometimes it feels like as a woman, sometimes you
• 39:26
  get punished for being too ambitious versus a man has a
• 39:29
  different type of, you know, connotation to it.
• 39:33
  Like as a woman being too ambitious, you're selfish.
• 39:37
  You are not doing this whole like momhood thing.
• 39:42
  Instead you are too focused on something else instead of
• 39:47
  focusing on the relationship. You are way too all over the
• 39:51
  place. Why can't you just be
• 39:52
  comfortable? You know, like all these other
• 39:54
  like little things like that and where like, as a guy, when
• 39:59
  you're ambitious, like girls flock to you, but when you're a
• 40:03
  girl who's ambitious, sometimes like men are off by you.
• 40:06
  Is that true, Dusty? I'm curious not.
• 40:10
  For me, but I mean. Could that be intimate?
• 40:16
  Is it because of the intimidation or?
• 40:19
  Probably. OK, I can see that.
• 40:22
  I'm trying to think of the reasons why a guy would hate on
• 40:24
  a woman being ambitious. Just because it's not like the
• 40:28
  hate necessarily, it's this like.
• 40:32
  What you should be doing? I guess so.
• 40:34
  Like your role in life? Yeah, like the role part.
• 40:37
  I think that's what it is. It's not the hate.
• 40:39
  Because I'm going to be honest with y'all, because I've been so
• 40:42
  ambitious my whole life and been an entrepreneur, you know, the
• 40:47
  type of like the men that would be attracted to me, love that
• 40:51
  ambitious part of me. Like that'd be the number one
• 40:54
  thing that they would mention and I was like.
• 40:56
  They love it to a point though. Yeah, because, but like.
• 41:02
  I feel like it's like they like the thought of it and.
• 41:05
  The fantasy of it. And it sounds good.
• 41:08
  Yes. But they don't really know what
• 41:10
  that entails. That's exactly what I'm saying.
• 41:12
  Like and then I love it to a point exactly.
• 41:14
  But when it's real. And I don't have all the time in
• 41:17
  the. World to give, now you're
• 41:19
  selfish. Now it's like.
• 41:20
  Now you're not making time for me.
• 41:22
  Now you're not giving me things that I'm wanting.
• 41:24
  And now it's like, OK, well, like, why don't you want to grow
• 41:27
  with me? Yeah.
• 41:28
  You know, or, or whatever. It's like, I'm not asking you to
• 41:31
  give up your shit, Right? Yeah.
• 41:33
  I think I grew up really super, super independent and I had to
• 41:39
  really learn how to not dumb that down, but really learn the
• 41:45
  other aspects of women that men could appreciate that I would
• 41:51
  needed to cultivate within myself.
• 41:53
  And I think motherhood taught me a lot of that because before I
• 41:56
  grew up, I seen a lot of women, a lot of women in my in my life,
• 42:00
  My mom from my mom, from my aunts, They all were, they
• 42:04
  always was hustlers, hard workers, like, but to the point
• 42:08
  where they would be like exhausting to watch.
• 42:11
  And so I think I just. Even even the women in your
• 42:13
  life? Yes.
• 42:14
  Oh, that's cool. I thought you were.
• 42:16
  Oh, OK. Yes, all the women in my life
• 42:18
  have been hustlers and even my dad.
• 42:20
  So I just think I grew up seeing that, and I felt like, OK, as a
• 42:24
  young child, I was like, OK, I'm going to have to.
• 42:26
  That's my responsibility. That's nobody else's
• 42:28
  responsibility. So I've never been dependent on
• 42:31
  anybody until I got with my son's father.
• 42:35
  And he really had to break down those walls.
• 42:37
  And I'm saying break them down with a chainsaw.
• 42:44
  And now I'm totally like, yeah, if you want to take care of me,
• 42:46
  take care of me. Bye, bye me.
• 42:50
  Yeah, it's, it's a hard. It's a hard, like thing to
• 42:53
  navigate, I think. But I'm kind of surprised that
• 42:56
  like, or I guess like for me, there's a lot of generational
• 43:01
  things in my my background, like where I was the first woman to
• 43:06
  own my home, to own my car, to have a career on my own, to do
• 43:09
  things on my own from both sides of my family.
• 43:12
  So like, yeah. Has it always been the men?
• 43:15
  Yeah, very gender role in how I grew up.
• 43:20
  I mean, the women do a lot, don't get me wrong.
• 43:22
  Like my mom and my dad were definitely partners.
• 43:24
  And my dad always look, talks about her as like, if it wasn't
• 43:27
  for her, I would never do. I would not be where I was at or
• 43:30
  am at. And my dad's super ambitious and
• 43:32
  I feel like I get a lot of that from him.
• 43:34
  But just like is different is what I'm saying.
• 43:39
  So what did that do for you growing up then?
• 43:44
  Like it was, it was kind of like my, my dad, I grow up seeing him
• 43:50
  take risks all the time too. So like he has his full time
• 43:52
  job, but then he would like always start a business whenever
• 43:55
  the heck he wanted. Or just like there would be
• 43:57
  something happening and he would be like, oh, OK, we're going to
• 44:00
  start this now. Or like there was like a bunch
• 44:02
  of hell damage one year in Dodge and he was just like, well, I
• 44:05
  don't know anything about roofing, but we're going to
• 44:06
  start a roofing company that. Sounds like me.
• 44:09
  Yeah, and then and like he just was always starting something.
• 44:13
  And my mom was always very supportive and also was very in
• 44:17
  on it too. But like, I think that I saw the
• 44:23
  gender roles, like, but because my family's a bit traditional,
• 44:28
  like there's a lot of gender roles in the like, even like the
• 44:30
  woman has to serve the guy like as in the food.
• 44:34
  And like I grew up where like the kids are eating first, then
• 44:38
  the men are eating and then the women are eating less typically.
• 44:42
  Now it has finally switched a little bit.
• 44:45
  But like those are things that I didn't want for myself.
• 44:48
  Like I wanted a partner who wanted to be a partner.
• 44:52
  Like equal wanted to be equal or?
• 44:55
  Well, that like these, that we're not talking about these
• 44:59
  human, these basic human things as gender roles.
• 45:04
  Like to be able to cook is not a gender role.
• 45:06
  It's it's not a female role to do that.
• 45:08
  It's not a male's role to do that.
• 45:10
  Like we all have to fucking eat. I actually have a theory that
• 45:13
  men cook better than women. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 45:18
  So like even things. We lied to this whole time.
• 45:22
  Yeah. No, I actually see and I think
• 45:26
  see from my background is the complete opposite from you.
• 45:29
  So I appreciate those traditional roles, like those
• 45:32
  are the roles that I wanted. Yeah.
• 45:35
  So it's like you want to be like a stay at home mom and be the
• 45:37
  one that's always, you want to be the one that eats last.
• 45:39
  You want to be the one that like when something bad is happening,
• 45:42
  you keep it to yourself and you don't say anything.
• 45:44
  No. Because that's what this
• 45:46
  includes. No, I'm thinking more as a
• 45:49
  woman, you're not allowed to do that.
• 45:50
  I'm thinking more of like you. You definitely want to have a
• 45:54
  neck tattoo. I'm.
• 45:55
  Talking more of like just the nurturing aspect, like of the
• 45:59
  moms role of like the giver and there's a give and take in
• 46:05
  relationships in general. But I'm I'm talking more of like
• 46:08
  the traditional of the man being the provider, but not more being
• 46:12
  more of the controller. See, that sounds like a
• 46:14
  controlling situation. That is not the traditional
• 46:18
  roles. You know, I think it's the the
• 46:21
  man has the respect for the woman to give her her her space
• 46:25
  to grow as a woman and to be whoever she would like to be in
• 46:28
  this world, but be that supporter in that way.
• 46:31
  And then the woman, you know, letting the man provide and lead
• 46:35
  and allowing herself to grow as a woman and becoming a better
• 46:38
  woman every day in her own way. So I don't really think
• 46:42
  traditional roles is like you're only stuck doing this and you're
• 46:45
  only stuck doing this this, but it is, you know, roles and you
• 46:51
  know that women are gifted with and men are gifted with and we
• 46:54
  should like appreciate that and kind of grow in those ways.
• 46:58
  So I yeah, that sounds a little controlling.
• 47:00
  That wouldn't work for me. Yeah.
• 47:03
  I think there is something though, like I think what you're
• 47:05
  talking about right is like submissive, like being able to
• 47:09
  submit to each other. Yes, 100% I think.
• 47:12
  But I'm not hearing you say how the men is going to submit to
• 47:15
  the women. So I'm kind of curious on that
• 47:16
  take. Yeah, just allowing the like
• 47:19
  again, allowing the woman to. Go.
• 47:21
  But you're saying I'm failing though?
• 47:23
  Like that's different than submitting.
• 47:25
  Yeah, I mean, when you allow somebody that's giving in my, I
• 47:29
  guess in my way of allowing is just allowing a person to like
• 47:33
  how my, my son, like when he acts up or something and he's
• 47:37
  throwing a fit, I'm allowing him to, you know, be able to get
• 47:41
  that all out and then we talk or whatever the case is.
• 47:44
  But if I don't allow him to do that, then I'm stepping in and
• 47:48
  I'm like, don't do that. You know, like this is what you
• 47:51
  need to do da da, da, da, da. So I think just allowing is just
• 47:54
  one of those space that you're giving somebody is space to kind
• 47:57
  of decide what they want to do with that energy and things like
• 48:00
  that. So it's not more so of a space
• 48:04
  of like, I'm OK, I'll allow you to do this.
• 48:07
  I get what you're saying. Like in that way, I guess I
• 48:10
  don't know what a better term would be, but you know, that's
• 48:13
  not the position that I'm coming in from.
• 48:16
  I do. I do think that traditional
• 48:18
  roles are beautiful though, as long as they're both respected
• 48:22
  and they're able to be themselves in a relationship.
• 48:27
  That's a different how to take because like, you know, I feel
• 48:29
  like we're hearing the other side right now.
• 48:31
  Yeah, yeah, I know. I I'm not liking it as a woman.
• 48:35
  I'm not liking it. I'm going to be honest with you.
• 48:37
  I'm not like it because I've always been.
• 48:40
  I think I've always supported that as a woman, you're, you
• 48:43
  know, having your own thing, having this and having that.
• 48:45
  But I'm not liking the division of, you know, a woman, this and
• 48:52
  the hierarchies of men and women.
• 48:54
  I just think it's gotten out of control, and I don't agree with
• 48:57
  it. I love that women, you know, are
• 48:59
  standing up for themselves and, you know, being who they are and
• 49:03
  getting their own money. I love that.
• 49:05
  But I also think everybody needs somebody.
• 49:08
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 49:09
  You know, And it's kind of sad to see that, the division of the
• 49:15
  men and women right now because honestly, people complain that
• 49:19
  they, there's nobody but yeah, they're, you know, creating that
• 49:22
  space to not meet anybody because of that mindset that
• 49:26
  they're going through. Yeah.
• 49:27
  When you're speaking on the stereotype types and the
• 49:30
  generalizations, often like that's what you're attracting.
• 49:33
  You're not attracting the openness, right?
• 49:36
  Yeah. Speaking of things that we're
• 49:39
  going to attract, let's finally get on to this drink.
• 49:42
  Yeah. So we're going to take a quick
• 49:44
  break and then we're going to come back.
• 49:46
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• 49:53
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• 51:06
  Cheers. So yeah, tell us about what you
• 51:11
  think about your virgin cucumber gimlet.
• 51:13
  I think it is 10 out of 10. This is my first mocktail, and
• 51:19
  I'm impressed. Yeah.
• 51:20
  Yeah. I love cucumber, lime and then
• 51:24
  honey. Honey is my thing.
• 51:27
  I can eat a whole thing of honey.
• 51:28
  So that just adds a little, you know, sweet taste to it.
• 51:32
  Perfect. Yeah.
• 51:34
  You should think about being like a mixologist bartender.
• 51:37
  But just for the pot and for anybody who comes over to my
• 51:39
  house, when we're all like after like drinking out and then we're
• 51:44
  like, hey, what do you have at your house?
• 51:45
  All the stuff that we have for the pod.
• 51:47
  Come on over, we'll figure something out.
• 51:49
  So was that your first time mixing all those ingredients
• 51:52
  without like this? Is your first time mixing it or
• 51:54
  not trying it out or this? Was my first time mixing it,
• 51:58
  yeah. So I didn't know how it was
• 51:59
  going to taste because I didn't have time to practice.
• 52:02
  I do try to practice them beforehand because then like,
• 52:06
  because I don't want to be like surprised in the moment.
• 52:09
  I'm like, fuck, that was disgusting.
• 52:10
  Really. Yeah, I don't.
• 52:13
  Like, I know I made that shit, you know, but I was so tired
• 52:17
  last night and. Why are you so tired last night?
• 52:23
  Because I had the recording and yeah.
• 52:25
  And it was just like, so I mean, it's great.
• 52:27
  I I do love talking to people, but I mean like I may I recharge
• 52:32
  by myself. I was going to ask that like you
• 52:35
  guys talking like for so long as so many people I know me, I have
• 52:39
  to like Zen for like a couple of days and I'm kidding, but it
• 52:44
  feels like that. You know what I mean?
• 52:45
  I'm like I have to recharge and my social battery is like dead.
• 52:48
  Yeah, well, Dusty is actually way more introverted than I am.
• 52:52
  So like I, I try to keep in mind like you and how you're going to
• 52:55
  be pretty often. Like when I'm scheduling like
• 52:58
  you, you might not think that because like right now it feels
• 53:01
  like we're like back-to-back to back-to-back.
• 53:04
  But like I do think about it. Or like when someone's like,
• 53:06
  hey, I want to be on, then let's do meet up.
• 53:08
  So I'm like, I mean, yes, but I feel like Dusty's gonna be dead.
• 53:15
  Yeah, are you dead today? Dusty only said like 5 words.
• 53:19
  He this is his usual. It's yeah.
• 53:22
  Like this is not. Don't be.
• 53:23
  So this is how he is. I'm like does dusty like me or
• 53:26
  not? Like what is happening?
• 53:28
  Sundays are usually like I'm a little more chill.
• 53:31
  You are? Yeah.
• 53:32
  You're a chill dude on Sunday. Well, you're a chill dude.
• 53:34
  He's a chill guy all the time on Sunday.
• 53:37
  Sunday's extra chill. Yeah, OK.
• 53:41
  No, it's actually so because Dusty is more introverted and
• 53:46
  you're more stoic, like you don't always show like your
• 53:49
  facial expressions. And I remember like, I would be
• 53:53
  like sometimes with Don, I would be like, bro, I can't tell when
• 53:56
  Dusty's mad, when he's happy, when he's good, when he's not.
• 54:00
  And then and then Don's like, yeah, none of us can.
• 54:03
  And I'm like, oh, OK, then I'm good.
• 54:05
  Have you always been this way? Probably.
• 54:09
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 54:12
  Yeah. So you're just more of like an
• 54:13
  observer. Nah, he opens up.
• 54:17
  OK. But after a while, maybe he'll.
• 54:19
  Open him after this, drink after this.
• 54:22
  Yeah, after you pretend that it's alcohol, right?
• 54:25
  Yeah, no, for the listeners at home, we made a virgin cucumber
• 54:29
  gimlet. So we'll post this on Here's to
• 54:32
  you cast on Instagram and then Here's to you pod on the TikTok
• 54:36
  because we're on the TikTok and by the time you listen to this,
• 54:40
  I don't know, there might be a surprise of another social
• 54:42
  platform. So yeah, just stay tuned to all
• 54:46
  that 'cause we'll so that you can pour this at home.
• 54:48
  And yeah, it's a mocktail so you don't have to, you know, get
• 54:54
  drunk. But we do want to still talk
• 54:56
  about things that are not sober things next.
• 55:01
  So you're very open to exploring all your spiritual hides?
• 55:07
  We're. Going there, we're going there,
• 55:08
  we're going there. And so you've been through
• 55:11
  psychedelics, right? Or other substances, whatever.
• 55:15
  I don't know, right? So like, what have those
• 55:19
  journeys taught you about yourself and connection?
• 55:22
  A lot of those journeys really made me face a lot of my own
• 55:25
  demons and my own problems that I haven't I wouldn't necessarily
• 55:31
  face in, you know, real time. It also connected me with my
• 55:37
  inner child. So I feel like as we get older,
• 55:40
  we just start to, you know, get so in our adult life and things
• 55:44
  get so serious all the time. And when, you know, we're able
• 55:48
  to, our inner child's able to come out and play and be goofy
• 55:53
  and things of that nature. Like, I feel like that's always
• 55:55
  necessary and needed. And it's just a good reminder.
• 55:59
  I've had bad experiences, too, though.
• 56:01
  Yeah, I've had some scary. Yeah.
• 56:05
  Just I feel like, you know, being in a headspace of you can
• 56:09
  probably relate to this, of overthinking.
• 56:12
  You're just like, Oh my God, I have this, I have that, I have
• 56:14
  this, I have this problem. I have this.
• 56:15
  I need to face this. You need to do that.
• 56:17
  And it can just be so overwhelming where you just want
• 56:19
  to just pull out your hair and cry.
• 56:23
  And it's just I've there's, I've had experiences where I've just,
• 56:26
  I've done a shroom trip and things like that and just cried
• 56:30
  the whole trip. Oh shit, yeah.
• 56:32
  But it also felt like a release, like it was like everything I
• 56:37
  was holding in it felt like a bad trip, but at the same time,
• 56:40
  it felt like a release that I needed, I didn't know I needed.
• 56:44
  Yeah, see, for the longest time, like I never wanted to do
• 56:46
  psychedelics for that reason or just like.
• 56:49
  It's it could be scary. 'Cause I'm afraid of that.
• 56:51
  But now that, like, my mental health's at a good place, I feel
• 56:53
  like I can do it. I just the opportunity hasn't
• 56:58
  arisen yet. Yeah, I think I've went through
• 57:01
  that phase and I think I'm past it.
• 57:03
  I think I don't have to explore psychedelics anymore.
• 57:07
  That was more of my earlier younger age, but I've always
• 57:11
  done it in a way of intentionality.
• 57:14
  Like I would go all out. Like I would literally go rent a
• 57:17
  cabin in the woods like crazy medicine woman and literally
• 57:23
  pray and have my cards. Like I just I would be a whole
• 57:27
  thing. Like I also like tell us like if
• 57:29
  you were to do 1 today, right, Even though like that was the
• 57:32
  thing, but what, how would you do it?
• 57:36
  I'd be alone, OK by myself. And so like, what would be in
• 57:38
  the planning the like, would you still do the cabin?
• 57:41
  Would you still bring the tarot? Like, yeah.
• 57:43
  I would, I would go somewhere where I could disconnect and I
• 57:47
  would literally disconnect from my phone, from everybody, from
• 57:50
  everything, lock in and journal. I would put on music.
• 57:54
  I would have light therapy. So I'll bring like a disco ball
• 57:58
  or a light bulb and I'd probably go through so many stages.
• 58:01
  I would cry. I would laugh.
• 58:03
  You would. You literally would feel like a
• 58:05
  psychotic person, but you would do.
• 58:07
  That on your own, like you wouldn't invite anybody to go
• 58:09
  with you. No, not today.
• 58:10
  Like say you say you did this like in two months.
• 58:13
  If I were to ever bring somebody with me, it would be my sister,
• 58:16
  okay? Because I feel like family and
• 58:20
  your siblings and people like that.
• 58:21
  When you get 2 energies so strong together like that, it's
• 58:24
  so powerful. And me and my sister are so in
• 58:27
  tuned that we would like be on the same frequency.
• 58:31
  But when I go through an experience like that, I feel so
• 58:34
  much so if a person's just a little off.
• 58:37
  Then. It's going to throw me off.
• 58:38
  Yeah, no, I get that. But there was a point.
• 58:42
  It hasn't always been like that though.
• 58:43
  A lot of my journeys has always been with people and been with
• 58:46
  crowds to the point where I was like, OK, little by little when
• 58:51
  I started, you know, really grounding myself, I was like,
• 58:54
  OK, I can only do this with like one other maybe 2, but I, I
• 58:59
  could just do by myself. But then again, I don't, I feel
• 59:02
  like I'm kind of going to sound a little narcissistic, but I
• 59:06
  feel like I'm already at a level where I don't have to go through
• 59:09
  that journey. I think I could go through that
• 59:11
  journey if I just meditate on my own.
• 59:14
  So I think a lot of people go through psychedelics to kind of
• 59:18
  find something in themselves or maybe they're on that journey
• 59:21
  and you know, that's, that's cool and all, but I don't think
• 59:25
  it's something that people should consistently take
• 59:27
  advantage of as like a drug or something.
• 59:29
  Yeah, yeah. Have you you were saying this
• 59:33
  like you did try and how do you pronounce it?
• 59:36
  Ayahuasca. Yeah, that.
• 59:37
  No, I tried peyote. Peyote.
• 59:40
  That is ceremony. OK.
• 59:41
  How is that one done again? So that and then explain the
• 59:45
  ceremony because we haven't even talked about your Native
• 59:47
  American roots, right. So like kind of explain.
• 59:49
  This really, really, really deep for me because I've never even
• 59:53
  experienced something so powerful and crazy as far as
• 59:57
  peyote. Like that's something that just
• 59:59
  sounds crazy like. It doesn't.
• 1:00:00
  It sounds like a coyote. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:00:04
  And coyotes remind me of oh, no, those are hyenas.
• 1:00:07
  I was gonna say, like, Lion King.
• 1:00:08
  Hyenas are not cute. Yeah, I was thinking of Lion
• 1:00:10
  King and they're like, that's what I was thinking of.
• 1:00:15
  Well, you have to be invited and you have to be welcomed, so you
• 1:00:18
  and anybody can't just show up to a ceremony.
• 1:00:21
  And you know, through this, my dear friend Omar, shout out to
• 1:00:24
  Omar. She is straight native activist,
• 1:00:27
  nomad, traveling the world fighting for rights, you know,
• 1:00:30
  love her. And I got invited to a ceremony
• 1:00:34
  in Oklahoma and it was usually with the tribal with the
• 1:00:38
  ceremony, you get called in for a purpose because it's like a
• 1:00:41
  family cause a ceremony for a reason.
• 1:00:44
  So like if they're wanting, you know, if they just got married,
• 1:00:46
  maybe they're wanting extra protection or you know, it's
• 1:00:49
  usually specific towards like it's called in for a purpose.
• 1:00:54
  So for this specific reason, and then it was called in by a
• 1:00:57
  family, but it also was to set out prayers going into the new
• 1:01:01
  year for the world and the community because we were all
• 1:01:04
  going through so much. So it was just like, we just
• 1:01:07
  want to pray. And I didn't really know what I
• 1:01:10
  was getting myself into, but I knew it was something that I had
• 1:01:13
  to experience for myself. How did you get invited to this?
• 1:01:16
  Del Mar. Oh, OK, OK.
• 1:01:18
  Yeah, so it was her like she reached out like, hey, you want
• 1:01:21
  to join or actually? Had heard conversation well me
• 1:01:25
  and her would have deep conversations.
• 1:01:26
  She told me she went to a couple of ceremonies and I was like,
• 1:01:29
  well, if you ever go to 1, like keep me in my mind.
• 1:01:31
  Like I, I put myself out there. OK, OK.
• 1:01:33
  Because I was going to say like, 'cause you what you were saying,
• 1:01:35
  right? Like the ceremony is it has to
• 1:01:37
  be like the family has invited you.
• 1:01:38
  So I was curious, like, did you know the family more?
• 1:01:41
  I did not know the family, but I knew Del Mar and Del Mar had to
• 1:01:44
  talk to the main chief. So the chief, you know, decides,
• 1:01:48
  you know, who comes, who doesn't.
• 1:01:49
  Oh, that's cool. She really, I don't know if she
• 1:01:51
  just put in a good word for me or was like, you know, like we
• 1:01:54
  need her here, you know, or something.
• 1:01:56
  I don't really know how that conversation went, but I was
• 1:01:59
  accepted to go to the ceremony so that.
• 1:02:01
  How many people? Were there there was even
• 1:02:04
  children in there? Oh wow, so like children doing
• 1:02:06
  it? Yes.
• 1:02:07
  Oh, OK. And it was like a sweat lounge.
• 1:02:09
  It was so. Hot so I'm imagining so I was
• 1:02:13
  going to do this when I was in Mexico and I God, I'm beating
• 1:02:16
  myself about up about it. But there is also now what the
• 1:02:20
  hell is the like native, like indigenous language before the
• 1:02:29
  Hispanics came and conquered Mexico and then like Spanish
• 1:02:32
  overtook. But there's still a lot of
• 1:02:35
  ceremonies. And there was one ceremony that
• 1:02:37
  I was going to try to go to, but I didn't get a chance to.
• 1:02:39
  And they it is like a cave and it is like a sauna type of thing
• 1:02:44
  first. And it didn't involve any
• 1:02:49
  substances that include trips like this, but they did have
• 1:02:54
  like took out and like other stuff like that, but I didn't
• 1:02:58
  get a chance to go to it. So like you're saying that it
• 1:03:00
  was a sauna. So I'm curious like kind of
• 1:03:02
  describe the layout, the setup. It was a teepee, OK?
• 1:03:05
  It was a built home, built teepee, like a real life teepee
• 1:03:08
  in the back of their house. Oh, wow.
• 1:03:11
  And so normally, traditionally the women.
• 1:03:13
  And that's why going back to traditional, This is why.
• 1:03:16
  This is where this is going from.
• 1:03:18
  Yes, this is. Where it stems from, like the
• 1:03:20
  women traditionally were never allowed to be part of the
• 1:03:22
  ceremonies because they believe that the men, you know, the men
• 1:03:26
  were the warriors. They'd go out and fight.
• 1:03:28
  They'd go out and sweat blood and tears.
• 1:03:30
  And the women would be in the back taking care of the family,
• 1:03:33
  making sure the food was, you know, getting prepared for when
• 1:03:36
  the men get get back from their fight, that they were nurtured
• 1:03:40
  and they were watered. And, you know, and then the
• 1:03:42
  women were more on the intuitive side of like, hey, you know,
• 1:03:46
  more of the, the psychics, I would say.
• 1:03:48
  And like, Hey, this is where you need to go.
• 1:03:50
  These, you know, they would, they, the men would follow the
• 1:03:54
  women in the way of like what they're needing to do.
• 1:03:57
  And then they would just go and take action and do the plan.
• 1:04:00
  And so, like, traditionally back in the day, the women were not
• 1:04:05
  allowed to do ceremonies. So I was very surprised that
• 1:04:07
  women and children were able to be a part of that ceremony.
• 1:04:11
  So a lot has changed. Yeah, a lot has changed.
• 1:04:14
  And I also feel like as as culture grows, people start to,
• 1:04:18
  you know, start to, it starts to shift and they start to make
• 1:04:21
  their own ways of doing things. They still keep traditional
• 1:04:24
  things, but they also kind of like add their own things to it.
• 1:04:28
  And that's, yeah, 'cause it's like that's what I'm talking
• 1:04:30
  about with like some of the generational traumas and curses
• 1:04:33
  and stuff like that, but also things that are beautiful about
• 1:04:35
  it, like when like my mom and my dad as partners, like they
• 1:04:40
  really were a partnership. Yeah, she did have, there were
• 1:04:44
  gender norms that were inflicted in that sense, like as in like
• 1:04:49
  this is what you kind of have to do.
• 1:04:50
  Or like the nurturing means that it's a feminine type of thing.
• 1:04:53
  But like I, I like to think that certain stuff like that don't
• 1:04:57
  mean to just be this masculine or feminine thing.
• 1:04:59
  Like I think we can all be nurturing.
• 1:05:01
  Like we don't and that's not a masculine or feminine thing.
• 1:05:04
  But I do agree with you that like there, there's still some
• 1:05:08
  beauty in that, right? Like that you know that you can
• 1:05:10
  trust each other in that way and that you do know that like you,
• 1:05:14
  you're not going to get controlled or you're not going
• 1:05:15
  to. Like, I'm not, I'm not.
• 1:05:17
  I'm giving myself and releasing myself into this.
• 1:05:21
  Like I'm allowing myself to come into this.
• 1:05:23
  And it is pretty cool to see the change of like where maybe at
• 1:05:28
  one point some of the controlling aspects where like
• 1:05:30
  women couldn't do the ceremonies, now can because that
• 1:05:33
  sounded more of a controlling thing more so than like a norm.
• 1:05:36
  Probably, but I never really noticed because when you think
• 1:05:40
  about like roles, you're just like, oh, that seems very like,
• 1:05:44
  oh, you can't do this, you can't do that.
• 1:05:46
  But I do like I feel like there's, if there's a purpose in
• 1:05:49
  everything that you do and in life, there's a reasoning behind
• 1:05:53
  that, right? So I think going into the
• 1:05:55
  ceremony, it gave me more of a background of that.
• 1:05:58
  So for example, in the ceremony, you have to be placed in a
• 1:06:03
  certain way. Like you can't just sit wherever
• 1:06:05
  you want. And mind you, I can't sit there
• 1:06:08
  and ask them a bunch of questions during the ceremony.
• 1:06:10
  So I'm just listening to everything that they're telling
• 1:06:13
  me to do because I didn't know no better.
• 1:06:14
  You know, I'm just kind of like, OK, I fly on the wall trying to
• 1:06:18
  act like I belong, but I'm really like, I don't know what
• 1:06:20
  I'm doing. So the chief comes in.
• 1:06:23
  We have drums and we have, you know, mainly just just drums and
• 1:06:28
  they're singing in Creek language and Cherokee language
• 1:06:32
  and I don't know my language in that way.
• 1:06:35
  So I thought it was beautiful that they can that, you know,
• 1:06:38
  that culture still exists in that language in that way.
• 1:06:42
  And then they they smoke peyote because it keeps you up all
• 1:06:45
  night. So since you're just sweating
• 1:06:47
  out all of the trauma, you're sweating out, you're going
• 1:06:51
  essentially you're going through this like journey of like like
• 1:06:55
  getting tortured and going through the actual pain.
• 1:06:59
  And This is why the men would do ceremonies because it's like
• 1:07:02
  them going through the pain for their family.
• 1:07:05
  And that's why women couldn't go through it.
• 1:07:08
  They would just go and prepare the meals while the men are
• 1:07:11
  going through all this, you know.
• 1:07:12
  'Cause again, they're like getting beaten down.
• 1:07:14
  So then the women are like, let me help you build back up.
• 1:07:17
  Yes. OK, cool.
• 1:07:18
  Exactly. They're like the rejuvenator,
• 1:07:20
  like when they're when they're done, they went through
• 1:07:22
  everything. The women come and bless them
• 1:07:24
  with the water and, you know, feed them and nurture them.
• 1:07:28
  And and so during that time, I was just, you know, your soul,
• 1:07:32
  just you have the peyote, you have the drums, you have the the
• 1:07:35
  singing and it's just intense. And so I'm getting visions of
• 1:07:39
  what the men and the women's roles were ancestral back in my
• 1:07:44
  day, just seeing clear visions of, of what that looked like and
• 1:07:49
  why it was that way. And I don't think we think about
• 1:07:52
  that. I think we're just like, so just
• 1:07:54
  caught in like, no, I'm a woman, I can do this, I'm a man, I'm
• 1:07:57
  going to do this. But it's like they had purpose
• 1:08:00
  behind it. It wasn't just because they were
• 1:08:02
  like, you're a man, you're a woman.
• 1:08:04
  It was like, because you guys are gifted with certain things,
• 1:08:07
  you know, like women are gifted with certain things and men are
• 1:08:10
  gifted with certain things that we cannot replace within each
• 1:08:13
  other. And that's more of a team and
• 1:08:16
  where you guys come together and it's just, it's so beautiful.
• 1:08:19
  Damn, yeah. Yeah, and so through that,
• 1:08:23
  stayed up for 24 hours. Oh my God.
• 1:08:25
  So that was like you? Were saying again.
• 1:08:27
  So the coyote, I almost said coyote.
• 1:08:31
  And, and it's something that you smoked, so you'd pass it around
• 1:08:34
  smoked. And if you had to use the
• 1:08:36
  bathroom or or leave or anything, you had to get
• 1:08:38
  permission from the chief. You couldn't just get up and
• 1:08:40
  then you had to walk a certain way.
• 1:08:42
  You couldn't just walk out the like everything was intentional.
• 1:08:46
  And that's what I really loved about it.
• 1:08:48
  I didn't, I didn't really understand sometimes what was
• 1:08:51
  going on or why they did certain things.
• 1:08:53
  But I think the peyote and going through that journey.
• 1:08:57
  Sorry, my voice, Oh my God, you're speaking through me.
• 1:09:01
  I. Love it.
• 1:09:04
  Hey, I'm in there right now. Like as you're saying all this,
• 1:09:07
  I'm like in my head picturing this like trying to put myself.
• 1:09:10
  There. Now imagine just the energy of
• 1:09:12
  that TP. Just and then the drums just
• 1:09:15
  bam, bam, bam. So your, your soul is just like
• 1:09:17
  out of your body and you're like, what is happening?
• 1:09:20
  Yeah. But yeah, it was very intense
• 1:09:22
  and it was very hard. It was an experience to go
• 1:09:25
  through. I, I couldn't imagine like the
• 1:09:27
  men back in the day, like really warrior style, like fighting,
• 1:09:31
  you know, like. What were the kind of like
• 1:09:33
  emotions that were coming through?
• 1:09:34
  Like were you, you know, you were saying like you've had some
• 1:09:37
  trips where like you're crying the whole time, Like was that
• 1:09:40
  like this emotional roller coaster or like kind of what was
• 1:09:43
  that like or just. I think it was showing me.
• 1:09:46
  I think that whole journey was just showing me my roots.
• 1:09:49
  It was exposing the beautiful parts of my culture.
• 1:09:54
  I think Native Americans are one of the most beautiful, like
• 1:09:57
  cultures I've ever, you know, I'm, I'm blessed to be, you
• 1:10:01
  know, in my DNA. But not only that, it was able
• 1:10:04
  to show me the history of the intentionality of everything
• 1:10:09
  that they did. Like even when I stood up to go
• 1:10:11
  to the bathroom, I couldn't walk over a flute.
• 1:10:15
  I would have to walk around it because normally you just get
• 1:10:17
  up. You're not.
• 1:10:18
  You're not. You're not looking at your
• 1:10:19
  surroundings. Literally to every single
• 1:10:21
  detail, intentionality. And I think it just kind of
• 1:10:24
  brought me back to that because we just go through every day
• 1:10:28
  just not doing things with intention.
• 1:10:30
  We're just like, oh, you know, walking around da da, da, da.
• 1:10:33
  But they really showed me like, no, you need to have intention
• 1:10:36
  with everything you do. From the moment you eat from,
• 1:10:39
  you've taken the next step. And I'm like, Oh my God, OK.
• 1:10:43
  I didn't know it was that deep. And then after that, we played
• 1:10:47
  with the kids. We jumped on the trampoline, we
• 1:10:50
  ate, which I'm not going to lie, Native American culture, food.
• 1:10:54
  I love y'all but they don't season Nothing no.
• 1:11:01
  It's. The most unseasoned food I ever
• 1:11:04
  had in my life. And you and you come with
• 1:11:06
  Sasson, Oh. My God, sorry, no.
• 1:11:13
  By the way, have y'all ever had Indian tacos?
• 1:11:16
  I have wanted to try some OK and I do know some folks that like
• 1:11:21
  will make it like homemade and stuff with like the fry bread.
• 1:11:24
  Yeah. And then like.
• 1:11:26
  Bomb. I definitely.
• 1:11:27
  Need. I'll get invited, but then I'm
• 1:11:29
  always doing something else and I'm like, Dang it.
• 1:11:30
  Well then, like when you are doing something else, tell them
• 1:11:33
  that I'm not doing anything so that I can go in your place
• 1:11:37
  because I will go. Yes, you have to try Indian
• 1:11:40
  tacos. Unfortunately, they didn't have
• 1:11:41
  Indian tacos at that time. But honestly, I was so hungry
• 1:11:44
  and sleep deprived and all of that.
• 1:11:46
  Because when you come down, you're just like, you know, and
• 1:11:48
  it's not one of those head highs where you're like, oh, you're
• 1:11:52
  high. It's more like, I feel like it
• 1:11:53
  brought me to like the level of like having.
• 1:11:57
  Like I said, like a transcendence.
• 1:11:59
  Yeah, of like me being there watching my ancestors, you know
• 1:12:04
  what they did and, and, and the Trail of Tears, I got exposed to
• 1:12:08
  Trail of Tears because actually my my family was a part of that.
• 1:12:12
  So just kind of reviewing my reviewing all of that and just
• 1:12:16
  bringing me back to groundness of like, remember who you are.
• 1:12:20
  And one specific thing that I remember, because I'm the type
• 1:12:23
  of person that anything I do, I'm always putting
• 1:12:26
  intentionality behind it. So when I first got to the
• 1:12:29
  ceremony, I was trying so hard to be like, OK, I need to figure
• 1:12:34
  out something to put attention to like with this trip.
• 1:12:37
  Like, am I gonna heal like my family?
• 1:12:39
  Like, you know, I'm always think going into a trip thinking like,
• 1:12:42
  what am I gonna heal? What am I gonna like?
• 1:12:44
  What is the next thing that I need to work on with suspects
• 1:12:46
  all the time? Yeah.
• 1:12:47
  And nothing came to me and nothing came to me.
• 1:12:49
  And so I'm like, OK, you know what?
• 1:12:50
  I'm just gonna let this journey take me on.
• 1:12:52
  Did that. And then when I left the, the TP
• 1:12:55
  and everything, I'm thinking and I was talking to the chief and
• 1:12:58
  I'm like, you know what I was like, I was really thinking
• 1:13:00
  about, you know what, what I needed to heal and fix.
• 1:13:03
  And I was like, nothing came to me.
• 1:13:04
  But I'm glad because then it just opened up my mind to where
• 1:13:08
  it wasn't about me. It was about community.
• 1:13:10
  Because the whole time we weren't sitting here praying
• 1:13:13
  about my own problems, about things.
• 1:13:16
  It was us praying for the world. Damn.
• 1:13:18
  The whole time we're just paying, praying for the world,
• 1:13:21
  the world, the world and everybody outside of ourselves.
• 1:13:24
  And that just made me like, wow, that was a purpose within
• 1:13:27
  itself. And so then when I told the
• 1:13:30
  chief that he was like, yeah, he's like, well, you came home
• 1:13:33
  today. Oh damn man, I.
• 1:13:36
  Thought that was just so beautiful.
• 1:13:39
  Oh fuck. He was like, you don't need big.
• 1:13:41
  He's like, you came home like you're home.
• 1:13:44
  And I'm like, wow, OK, that's beautiful shit.
• 1:13:48
  I was, I was going to ask about like the praying.
• 1:13:52
  Can you kind of just like like pray, we're talking about hands
• 1:13:55
  close praying or like. Singing chants, OK, singing
• 1:13:58
  chants the whole time and, and drums and instruments, flutes,
• 1:14:04
  singing chants, flutes the whole time.
• 1:14:07
  It was never quiet and just prayer.
• 1:14:09
  It was literally singing and chanting and even dancing.
• 1:14:13
  So there was a point, you know, where people could just fill it
• 1:14:17
  and, you know, get into their zone.
• 1:14:20
  But for the most part, yeah, I was just singing the whole time.
• 1:14:23
  And then at the end, a woman came, which is probably
• 1:14:27
  grandmother came when it was all said and done.
• 1:14:31
  And by the time we got out, the sun was rising.
• 1:14:33
  So it was so beautiful because we started at night.
• 1:14:36
  And she came with a big bucket of water.
• 1:14:38
  And each person basically got blessed and cleansed when they
• 1:14:41
  came out of the teepee. And then we all ate together and
• 1:14:45
  laughed and I had fun with the kids and it was beautiful.
• 1:14:49
  I literally, I was renewed. I was just like, wow, this was.
• 1:14:53
  When was this for you? When you did that.
• 1:14:55
  This was about 3 years ago, OK, three years ago.
• 1:15:02
  And then I was just thinking, my friend Delmar, you know, for
• 1:15:05
  bringing me into that experience because that was very, very
• 1:15:08
  beautiful or magical. Yeah.
• 1:15:10
  So what did you end up talking back with the family and like,
• 1:15:14
  what did they kind of? Say I did, and then they wanted
• 1:15:16
  me to form a ceremony for our family.
• 1:15:19
  Oh yeah. So how big is your family?
• 1:15:21
  I don't think we even got into that.
• 1:15:23
  Huge, huge, huge. I have about.
• 1:15:26
  I have two other sisters and then I have nine brothers.
• 1:15:30
  Oh wow, yeah. Are they 'cause you said your
• 1:15:33
  mom is here, right? Yes, my mom's here and my dad's
• 1:15:36
  in Florida. So my dad's remarried.
• 1:15:38
  Yeah. And so, oh, OK.
• 1:15:40
  So that's where maybe a step. 1/2 sister.
• 1:15:44
  Yeah. So she's the youngest.
• 1:15:46
  The nine brothers were or like, I guess all of your siblings,
• 1:15:51
  Where are they? All over Oklahoma, Kansas.
• 1:15:56
  Well, Oklahoma and Kansas, Yeah. And then I'm like middle child,
• 1:16:00
  but I feel like the oldest. So if you're ever the middle
• 1:16:02
  child, you always feel like you're the oldest.
• 1:16:05
  I don't know why, I'm kind of the middle child too.
• 1:16:07
  Do you feel like the oldest? No, I mean, I feel like I, I
• 1:16:12
  feel like I've not proven. I feel like I grew up fast like
• 1:16:16
  me and my two older siblings. It's my older sister, my
• 1:16:19
  brother, me and then I have a little sister.
• 1:16:21
  But I would say we definitely grew up very fast and.
• 1:16:24
  I always felt like I was like the glue, you know what I mean?
• 1:16:28
  And that's like a huge responsibility to feel like, I
• 1:16:31
  feel like when you always feel like you have to be the glue of
• 1:16:33
  a family, I feel like that's not that could be a gift and a curse
• 1:16:38
  in itself. Yeah, no, I got that part.
• 1:16:41
  How many siblings do you have? Me, I have, well, I have, like I
• 1:16:45
  said, my oldest sister, a brother.
• 1:16:48
  I have 4 in total. I have 1/2 brother too.
• 1:16:51
  Yeah, but little sister and then half brothers in Milwaukee.
• 1:16:56
  Yeah, I've never been to Milwaukee.
• 1:16:58
  It's cold. That's why I haven't been well,
• 1:17:03
  Florida girl at heart. What about you, Dusty?
• 1:17:06
  How many siblings do you have? Two younger sisters.
• 1:17:10
  He's the oldest. I'm the oldest and I'm
• 1:17:13
  definitely the oldest. He's the one that's going to be
• 1:17:18
  that like when his wife comes over.
• 1:17:20
  I mean, like, mom's moving in, Grandma's moving in with him.
• 1:17:24
  Love that it's always a great a great looks I.
• 1:17:30
  Think that's what's going to happen?
• 1:17:31
  You're the oldest. You're the one with the burden,
• 1:17:33
  Not burden with the blessing. Exactly.
• 1:17:36
  You're the one with the blessing.
• 1:17:40
  I told my dad all the time. I'm like, I don't know, dad.
• 1:17:42
  Like the way that you keep acting up.
• 1:17:45
  I'm going to send you to a nursing home.
• 1:17:49
  That's the biggest threat, Yeah. Oh my gosh.
• 1:17:51
  Yeah, I don't know. I wouldn't though.
• 1:17:53
  I wouldn't. My family would hella disowned
• 1:17:55
  me if I ever did something like that.
• 1:17:56
  So do you guys do any traditional things in your cult?
• 1:17:59
  Like do you guys carry anything in like today that you know,
• 1:18:03
  your ancestors or your maybe your parents did and you know
• 1:18:08
  grew in as you got older and now you do it today?
• 1:18:12
  I'd say like, well, I was thinking like when she was
• 1:18:15
  talking about how, and this is not my culture is yours.
• 1:18:18
  But when you were saying about like how you had to walk through
• 1:18:22
  certain areas and like you kind of it reminded me of like Emily
• 1:18:25
  was telling me about like with the monks, like you can't walk
• 1:18:27
  in front of the monks as a girl or I think like, I couldn't like
• 1:18:32
  you. Can't touch them either.
• 1:18:33
  You can't touch them either. Yeah, that's what I was thinking
• 1:18:36
  of. Like because you, you guys have
• 1:18:39
  traditions like that too. Yeah, I mean, I've feel like
• 1:18:43
  that's more related to the Buddhist religion more than.
• 1:18:47
  That's true than Laotian. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:18:49
  But I mean, they both kind of go hand in hand I guess.
• 1:18:55
  Well, I mean like you also still have like your, I mean your
• 1:18:59
  weddings are very traditional into like how because.
• 1:19:02
  I've seen those pictures and they look very traditional.
• 1:19:05
  I would say like in my like my we didn't assimilate very much
• 1:19:09
  and so like it was like we have very traditional things in
• 1:19:13
  weddings or like we have Vansas still that do stem from because
• 1:19:17
  like most of Mexico is Catholic or just, you know, big majority.
• 1:19:22
  But in for Catholic religions that are not Mexican, they don't
• 1:19:30
  do lancas for the Virgin Mary or for certain days of the Saints.
• 1:19:35
  But in Mexico that's very common because of like our indigenous
• 1:19:41
  roots. So like a lot of like dating
• 1:19:44
  back to assets Mayans now with that and all of the are like
• 1:19:48
  tribals of which we still have a lot of indigenous cultures over
• 1:19:51
  there. But like we have lancas for
• 1:19:54
  Saints or the other lab. We can things like that because
• 1:19:58
  all of these dances like mean something or like even the setup
• 1:20:03
  like what you're wearing. From the colours.
• 1:20:06
  Yeah, yeah, everything. I mean, like some of them dance
• 1:20:09
  even like barefoot, just things like that because that's them
• 1:20:14
  like I, I can't even tell you exactly, but like there, there's
• 1:20:19
  a lot of like that has to do with faith that that's so kind
• 1:20:22
  of brought in. And then like for us, like we're
• 1:20:27
  very into like Charyadas and stuff like that.
• 1:20:30
  And so that's also very old. I think like Charyadas are like
• 1:20:35
  1700s or something. But I think that came from
• 1:20:38
  Spaniards. Yeah.
• 1:20:40
  But that's always been a big piece in our, in my culture,
• 1:20:43
  Just my dad always did that. That was a really big thing for
• 1:20:46
  us. My mom's Catholic.
• 1:20:49
  I really don't know what that entails to be.
• 1:20:53
  Honest religions are kind of related in some degrees.
• 1:20:56
  Like they might say this word, but then they mean this other
• 1:20:59
  word exactly. Yeah.
• 1:21:02
  No, but my intention when I moved to Wichita was to get more
• 1:21:06
  in tune with my roots because I do want to pass that.
• 1:21:09
  I know how much it's been lost over the years.
• 1:21:11
  Or even me growing up like my my dad was never, you know,
• 1:21:15
  teaching me traditions. Neither has my mom.
• 1:21:17
  So these are kind of things that I've been just searching on my
• 1:21:20
  own because I want to teach my son these and I want him to
• 1:21:23
  learn and appreciate that side because I feel like it's
• 1:21:26
  starting to get lost more and more.
• 1:21:28
  And that's a little scary to me because, you know, it's who it's
• 1:21:32
  who you are essentially. And that's just something that
• 1:21:37
  it's important to me. Yeah.
• 1:21:38
  You know, it may not be as people you know, as you get
• 1:21:43
  older, you start to form your own views about things, which I
• 1:21:46
  totally am here for. But at the end of the day, you
• 1:21:49
  know, I feel like our historical culture and things as to why our
• 1:21:53
  ancestors did things are meaningful for sure should still
• 1:21:57
  be, you know, perform today in their own way.
• 1:22:00
  Like I may not, although they showed me visions of things like
• 1:22:05
  that. I may not do things exactly like
• 1:22:07
  them, but there's certain things that I can relate to and that I
• 1:22:10
  can pull and gravitate towards to where I'm like, OK, I want to
• 1:22:13
  start incorporating that with the way that I, you know, teach
• 1:22:17
  my son or whatever the case is. That's kind of similar to me on
• 1:22:21
  like this next healing journey that I feel that I'm headed
• 1:22:24
  towards. Like I'm feeling like I want to
• 1:22:27
  know more about my ancestry. So like I'm reading a lot more
• 1:22:30
  books about like pre pre Hispanic stuff.
• 1:22:34
  And I'm, I'm trying to understand like genetically,
• 1:22:38
  like 'cause I, I, it's really hard in Mexico because like
• 1:22:41
  you're the term is like, Oh my God, I've heard misoic.
• 1:22:45
  No, there's a, because I've like asked my dad, like dad, like,
• 1:22:50
  what are we like, you know, because we got conquered several
• 1:22:52
  times or invaded several times. So like, what are we like?
• 1:22:55
  But it was indigenous first. And there's like this word that
• 1:23:00
  was coined like in the 1600s, I think, or 15 hundreds, 1548,
• 1:23:04
  something like that, that like this is what all Mexicans are.
• 1:23:09
  But what I'm trying to say by that is that there is like, so
• 1:23:13
  much truth, or not just truth, but like, so much that our
• 1:23:19
  ancestors had gone through that we need to honor that we don't
• 1:23:24
  honor anymore because we're so inundated by things that have,
• 1:23:29
  like, left us. So I'm not even talking about,
• 1:23:32
  like, the next religious thing. I'm talking more of like,
• 1:23:35
  spirituality and like, connecting to like, almost like,
• 1:23:38
  past lives, past selves, Right. Like, I guess that's what I'm
• 1:23:41
  thinking of. Yeah.
• 1:23:42
  That like what? Do you guys think happens to us
• 1:23:44
  when we die? Damn, I'm here, Socks.
• 1:23:54
  Kara's going there. Going there, I went there.
• 1:23:57
  I should have never opened up this can of worms.
• 1:24:01
  You first. I am coming around to the idea
• 1:24:07
  that our bodies are containers for our souls.
• 1:24:11
  OK. What do you mean?
• 1:24:13
  By that, our souls. Once our body dies, the souls
• 1:24:20
  leave the body and go to another dimension essentially.
• 1:24:26
  It's ancient. No, it's Heaven's gate Shit.
• 1:24:32
  Heaven's gate shit. OK, OK, OK.
• 1:24:33
  Colts. I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I'm
• 1:24:38
  not in any cult or anything. But you know, yeah, that's if
• 1:24:42
  that's something that. I mean, by Catholicism also does
• 1:24:45
  that, that your body's a temple and we it's for the Holy Spirit.
• 1:24:50
  So when you pass away, it's the Holy Spirit who takes it.
• 1:24:54
  So, I mean, I didn't think Colt, I thought Catholicism just.
• 1:24:59
  Because you go into the other dimension and then, you know,
• 1:25:03
  actually take it a little bit further and then I think you do
• 1:25:05
  reincarnate. Oh yeah.
• 1:25:07
  Yeah, yeah. So it's part of Buddhist why we
• 1:25:11
  have like deja vu and stuff, because remembering things from
• 1:25:17
  past lives that our souls have lived.
• 1:25:20
  See, that's what I think about with Ancestry.
• 1:25:22
  Just can't connect. Just can't.
• 1:25:24
  Connect it because it's been so long now where it's.
• 1:25:28
  Yeah, that's what I'm, that's what I'm thinking with ancestry.
• 1:25:31
  Like again, like there's just so much that like we have lived
• 1:25:34
  these past lives. I don't know.
• 1:25:37
  'Cause there's just like certain things that you like, connect
• 1:25:39
  with. I mean, you wonder why?
• 1:25:41
  Like, why do I love horses so much?
• 1:25:42
  I've always loved this as a child.
• 1:25:44
  But why or what's his attraction to this location?
• 1:25:48
  Like, why do I feel like I need to be over there?
• 1:25:50
  Like, what is this pole that I'm getting?
• 1:25:53
  Yeah. Like when we're talking about
• 1:25:54
  energies. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:25:58
  I think just like try slowly. No, no, it's 'cause like I think
• 1:26:07
  this is really hard for me. So like I would love to think
• 1:26:11
  like, I don't know about like this whole heaven or hell thing,
• 1:26:13
  right? Like cut dry, evil, good, like
• 1:26:16
  something about that. That's the things that like
• 1:26:18
  makes it hard for me with the religious part that is just
• 1:26:20
  like, do we really have bad souls or are we human that make
• 1:26:25
  mistakes And yeah, I guess some people are are are evil Hitler,
• 1:26:31
  Trump, the. List goes on.
• 1:26:34
  Yeah, the. List goes on, but like also like
• 1:26:38
  I, I tend to think like what was like the rooted deep shit that
• 1:26:41
  went with them that like they're the they were that way.
• 1:26:44
  I don't know. But with losing my mom, I would
• 1:26:49
  love to see her again. So I want to believe there's
• 1:26:53
  another thing that allows my soul to connect with her again.
• 1:26:59
  And I'm kind of on this. I don't know if soul or
• 1:27:03
  spiritual or energy, I don't know, but I'm trying to get in
• 1:27:09
  this like very intuitive sense of myself and learning to trust
• 1:27:12
  my gut again and not being like, this is anxiety.
• 1:27:16
  No, this is my guts. And knowing when it's my anxiety
• 1:27:18
  and knowing when it's my guts so that I can like really feel all
• 1:27:23
  the energies that are around me. I don't know.
• 1:27:26
  Love that. Yeah, what about you?
• 1:27:28
  I feel that we create our heaven and hell.
• 1:27:32
  You know, you could be living in heaven right now.
• 1:27:34
  You know, based on how you view your life, you could be living
• 1:27:38
  in hell. And once you crossover, it's
• 1:27:41
  still sort of the same. If you're in, if you're still
• 1:27:44
  living with, you know, you're not, you're unforgiving, you
• 1:27:48
  have anger. You have that you, your soul
• 1:27:50
  can't fully transcend to a place of peace because you're still
• 1:27:54
  stuck at the fact that, you know, my grand grandmother did
• 1:27:58
  this to me or this person did this to me.
• 1:27:59
  So it's kind of like how they say like souls are trapped.
• 1:28:03
  I believe that souls can be trapped and those are considered
• 1:28:06
  like the souls that have hate and have all these negativity
• 1:28:09
  around them are considered the demons because they want people
• 1:28:12
  to feel that pain as much as they do.
• 1:28:15
  So I do believe in a lot of like demonic spirits and also good
• 1:28:20
  spirits. Because I believe in the demonic
• 1:28:21
  ones. Yeah.
• 1:28:22
  Because I didn't scare the fuck out of me like.
• 1:28:24
  Because I've, I've felt it, you know, I, I had mentioned that I
• 1:28:28
  do a lot of dream work. So, you know, I go into my
• 1:28:30
  dreams and I've seen both sides and they both, you know, truly
• 1:28:33
  exist. But I also feel like they put
• 1:28:36
  themselves there because of the things that they've done and
• 1:28:40
  they hold on to and they don't forgive.
• 1:28:42
  But once you know, but if you go to a place of peace, you know,
• 1:28:45
  you're like one of my thing. My, my mom's brother, he was,
• 1:28:50
  you know, in the middle of passing away, but he couldn't
• 1:28:53
  pass away until he, he literally would say like, you know, the, I
• 1:28:56
  can see the Grim Reaper coming to get me, you know, but that's
• 1:28:59
  just all his negative, you know, deep stuff that he's been
• 1:29:03
  through. But as soon as he was forgiven
• 1:29:05
  for that and prayed over, he was able to transcend and allow
• 1:29:08
  himself to crossover. But he was holding on for dear
• 1:29:11
  life because he was so scared to crossover because of what he was
• 1:29:15
  seeing and experiencing. So I do believe that you can
• 1:29:18
  create your heaven and hell based on, you know, what you are
• 1:29:21
  holding on to and how you view, view your life.
• 1:29:24
  You know, So yeah, my son would always ask me like, oh, what
• 1:29:27
  does heaven look like? And I'm like, you're in it,
• 1:29:30
  baby. This is heaven.
• 1:29:32
  Hey, that's, that's sweet though.
• 1:29:33
  That's a really sweet thing to be able to say to him.
• 1:29:36
  Because I can relate to when you said, you know, like your mom
• 1:29:38
  had had passed over and you want to believe that you still are
• 1:29:42
  connected to her. You can still talk to her.
• 1:29:44
  And so I always tell my son, like if you when it's my time,
• 1:29:47
  because it will be 1 day, we all go through it.
• 1:29:50
  You know, you see me in your dreams, that's me talking to
• 1:29:53
  you. Like that's me talking to you.
• 1:29:55
  So don't you're going to see me again because and and being a
• 1:29:59
  mom, you know, I always would like to think that I'm always
• 1:30:01
  going to be connected to him and we're always going to be able to
• 1:30:03
  communicate. So yeah, I love the idea of
• 1:30:07
  life, of the afterlife, of the life, you know.
• 1:30:09
  Yeah, because you were saying about your sorry, your
• 1:30:15
  brother-in-law who, who was it again that passed?
• 1:30:17
  Your mom's. Brother.
• 1:30:18
  My mom's brother. Like when my mom passed away
• 1:30:21
  because like I've been through or I've seen Hospice now twice
• 1:30:24
  because my mom passing away and we had she had to go through
• 1:30:27
  Hospice and then my grandpa passed away a year later, also
• 1:30:31
  went through Hospice. But we were so like my, her two
• 1:30:36
  sisters from Mexico, they didn't have like they don't have their
• 1:30:40
  full immigration documents that they can come.
• 1:30:43
  But like, we are very fortunate that we've always like had
• 1:30:47
  really great jobs and have worked really hard to build
• 1:30:50
  relationships that like, we were able to get really good, like
• 1:30:54
  letters from doctors that we were able to send to like
• 1:30:58
  government so that they can allow them to come.
• 1:31:00
  So that when my mom was passing, but like there was something
• 1:31:05
  like that she was really holding on until they came.
• 1:31:10
  And then once they finally got there, that's when she passed.
• 1:31:14
  But but she like, I mean, yeah, because I mean, it was a whole
• 1:31:17
  week of, of her passing and it was, it was really tough.
• 1:31:21
  But there, I mean, I think like there is something about that
• 1:31:24
  too. Like how much like you're not as
• 1:31:28
  conscious anymore because she was not conscious anymore.
• 1:31:30
  Like in terms of like talking that sort of thing or like being
• 1:31:36
  able to talk to us. She had like stop being, she had
• 1:31:39
  stopped probably like 5 days before she passed.
• 1:31:42
  And but there it was. It was like this because I was
• 1:31:45
  with her when she passed and. And I was, and like, I don't
• 1:31:50
  know, I did kind of sense it. Yeah.
• 1:31:52
  Because as soon as my aunts arrived, her sisters arrived.
• 1:31:56
  It was just like maybe 2 hours after.
• 1:32:00
  Yeah. And then she was able to be at
• 1:32:01
  peace and in transition fully. Yeah.
• 1:32:05
  Yeah. That's beautiful.
• 1:32:07
  Does that put you at peace? Like knowing that she was like,
• 1:32:10
  you're like, OK, she's at peace. Yeah, there was.
• 1:32:14
  She battled breast cancer for nine years.
• 1:32:17
  And so she's a very strong woman, was a very strong woman.
• 1:32:22
  And she just was like, she never showed it.
• 1:32:26
  Like, we knew that she was bad, but she never really showed it.
• 1:32:30
  And when she passed, like she really did look peaceful, like
• 1:32:34
  all of my siblings and like family.
• 1:32:36
  Like we're like, wow. Like, I don't know.
• 1:32:39
  I mean, it sucked, you know what I mean?
• 1:32:43
  And like, some people like, take pictures.
• 1:32:45
  But there was like, we kind of sometimes I think about it and
• 1:32:48
  I'm like, maybe I should have because there was something.
• 1:32:52
  Like that moment. Yeah, yeah, I don't that's I
• 1:32:55
  think like knowing or hearing these type of stories is always
• 1:32:59
  keeping me like, OK, appreciative because I know
• 1:33:02
  that, you know, there's negative, there's good, there's
• 1:33:04
  bad, there's evil, you know, and all of that.
• 1:33:07
  But it's like, what do you choose?
• 1:33:08
  What side do you choose to be on every day?
• 1:33:11
  And you have. That's a choice.
• 1:33:12
  It is a choice. And so it's like if I were to
• 1:33:14
  die from a random, you know, car crash, do I want to go out
• 1:33:19
  angry, mad, just yelling at my son?
• 1:33:22
  You know what I mean? It's like these are the things
• 1:33:24
  like or even. Just the road rage.
• 1:33:25
  Yeah, like as simple as road rage.
• 1:33:27
  So these are the things that I think about throughout my day of
• 1:33:29
  like, OK, if you know, because it's out of our, you know,
• 1:33:32
  hands. If things were to happen, you
• 1:33:34
  know, how would I leave this world?
• 1:33:36
  What impact do I leave? You know what, what type of
• 1:33:38
  person was I, you know, and those are the things that I feel
• 1:33:41
  like keeps me humble, keeps me compassionate, you know,
• 1:33:47
  throughout all the things. And I'm human.
• 1:33:48
  I'm not perfect and I'm close to it, but but I, you know, I try
• 1:33:54
  to be as intentional as possible because, you know, life's short
• 1:33:59
  and you know, I would hate to be on that other side if something
• 1:34:03
  were to happen. Speaking of other sides and
• 1:34:09
  life's intentionalities, we're getting close to wrapping up.
• 1:34:13
  This next part is deep. This time we did.
• 1:34:16
  I mean, we we got pretty deep though on the plot.
• 1:34:18
  Yeah, like we got pretty deep. Thank you for sharing all of
• 1:34:23
  that. But so this part is like the we
• 1:34:26
  ask like a bunch of lightning round questions and and these
• 1:34:32
  are just kind of more rapid fire.
• 1:34:33
  Whatever kind of comes to you. Oh God, I'm nervous.
• 1:34:39
  They're like, is it like? This or that type of thing.
• 1:34:42
  Or what? Some are OK, some are.
• 1:34:44
  Do you want? Do you want to lead?
• 1:34:47
  Yeah. Give it to me wrong.
• 1:34:48
  What? OK.
• 1:34:54
  That's what she said. It's your go to hype song before
• 1:35:02
  an open house or event. Anything gorilla?
• 1:35:07
  OK, I'll just put on gorilla. I think her word play is cool.
• 1:35:11
  I think yes. Yeah, I like her.
• 1:35:14
  Yeah. She's my go too.
• 1:35:16
  I can't think of a song song but I'll just go to her radio.
• 1:35:19
  For sure. Sounds good.
• 1:35:21
  What is a real estate ick from clients that make you cringe?
• 1:35:28
  Clients who want to get with me or interested me in another way
• 1:35:34
  than not making some money or wasting my time.
• 1:35:40
  Let's talk about those dollars. Exactly.
• 1:35:43
  And then we will be friends, yeah.
• 1:35:45
  Yeah, yeah, no. I'm just kidding.
• 1:35:47
  Send that over. We love that sound.
• 1:35:53
  What's a vintage piece you'll never sell no matter what?
• 1:36:00
  A vintage. Oh, a vintage piece.
• 1:36:03
  I thrifted a Winnie the Pooh jersey for my son as a baby, and
• 1:36:08
  I'll never sell it. I'll keep it and he can just
• 1:36:10
  pass it down. Keep passing it down.
• 1:36:13
  Yeah. That's why I say keep your
• 1:36:14
  jerseys or keep something. I always.
• 1:36:16
  That'd be cute. Yeah.
• 1:36:17
  I always think everybody should keep something that they can
• 1:36:20
  just keep passing down. Passing down.
• 1:36:22
  I think that's so cool. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:36:26
  Do you believe more in fate or free will?
• 1:36:30
  Fate or free will? I believe more of free will.
• 1:36:35
  OK, Yeah. Even though I have fate tatted
• 1:36:38
  in the back of me. Literally, sometimes you don't
• 1:36:42
  have meaning. They're just cool.
• 1:36:43
  Yeah. I do believe in faith though,
• 1:36:45
  100% yeah. But I believe that your fate
• 1:36:48
  will determine your because you have free will and you have
• 1:36:51
  choice. You know, it will always just
• 1:36:53
  kind of bring you back to the faith, but you will have that
• 1:36:56
  journey of free will. Yeah.
• 1:36:59
  So back to more of the intentionality leading within.
• 1:37:02
  Like, yes, you're, you know, looking back to know where
• 1:37:06
  you're headed or the feeling, but like, it's the
• 1:37:08
  intentionality that you're leading with.
• 1:37:10
  Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:37:12
  What was your best thrift through vintage find?
• 1:37:16
  What? What was the treasure you found?
• 1:37:21
  Anything, anything Dior because that's really hard to vintage
• 1:37:27
  Dior is really well nowadays, I'm not going to say hard, but
• 1:37:30
  more expensive to find. But when I was shopping for
• 1:37:34
  these pieces, so I actually, that was my niche.
• 1:37:37
  I don't think I shared with you guys vintage couture like Gucci,
• 1:37:42
  Burberry, that that was my niche that I would resell.
• 1:37:46
  So I'll say anything Dior that I found was a gym, especially this
• 1:37:53
  specific purse. Honestly I should know the name
• 1:37:57
  of it but I don't you guys. It's OK, I don't know anything
• 1:37:59
  about. Them I'm going to send y'all a
• 1:38:01
  picture and y'all can just put the picture.
• 1:38:02
  We'll do that on Yes, do that. Yeah, yes, dream celebrity
• 1:38:10
  client you'd love to sell a house to or have as a tenant
• 1:38:16
  since you're into commercial buildings.
• 1:38:18
  Have as a tenant. Hey you guys are getting me.
• 1:38:26
  I would say my God, A$AP Rocky. A$AP Rocky.
• 1:38:31
  If he had a vintage store or Rihanna, well, they come as a
• 1:38:34
  pair. They come as a pair, They come
• 1:38:36
  as a pair. They're unity now.
• 1:38:38
  Yeah, people sleep on ASAP I feel.
• 1:38:40
  I'll say Rihanna. That'd be cool.
• 1:38:41
  That'd be badass. One thing you've learned from
• 1:38:46
  your native roots that guides how you do business.
• 1:38:51
  Intuition to always listen to my gut, because sometimes
• 1:38:55
  opportunities that are put in front of you are not always
• 1:38:58
  great opportunities, and when money's involved, it may seem
• 1:39:01
  that way. So I had to walk away from a lot
• 1:39:05
  of things based on just my intuition and the feeling that
• 1:39:09
  I've gotten as far as morality and character goes of like, I
• 1:39:17
  know that this is an opportunity I may get away with, but is it
• 1:39:20
  the right thing to do? A lot of people in business,
• 1:39:24
  it's so easy to do the wrong thing, but it's not easy to do
• 1:39:27
  the right thing, especially when there's money involved.
• 1:39:31
  That's true. I watched the movies like that
• 1:39:35
  last night. Really.
• 1:39:36
  What was it called? What?
• 1:39:37
  Was. It Netflix around what?
• 1:39:41
  It was a Wrath of Man with Jason Statham.
• 1:39:45
  Oh, I like him, Patrick. Every time I think about him, I
• 1:39:48
  think of the movie Speed. When he's a psychopath.
• 1:39:52
  You know that movie Speed? He's the bald head guy, right?
• 1:39:56
  Yeah, the bald headed guy. And there's a movie called Speed
• 1:40:00
  when he's on speed literally throughout the whole movie.
• 1:40:03
  Oh. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:40:08
  OK. I literally.
• 1:40:11
  And I was like, I don't think that's the same guy you're
• 1:40:13
  talking about, but it's Crank you're talking about Crank.
• 1:40:15
  Crank's a good movie. Yeah, it's a good.
• 1:40:17
  Movie. And that's what I always think
• 1:40:18
  of, yeah. That is, that is a good movie.
• 1:40:22
  But he's a good. Actor.
• 1:40:23
  I like him. No, he is, yeah.
• 1:40:25
  Yeah, I need to add that to my list now.
• 1:40:27
  I know, I just wrote that down for myself.
• 1:40:29
  Was that like the? Was that like the?
• 1:40:30
  Moral of it or what? What made you think of it?
• 1:40:33
  Because you said, you know, like real change when it comes, when
• 1:40:38
  it comes to money or, you know, can act differently.
• 1:40:43
  And that's kind of what happened in the movie I watched last
• 1:40:45
  night. Yeah.
• 1:40:45
  A whole bunch of money became involved and then things
• 1:40:49
  happened. Yeah, it's on Hulu, guys
• 1:40:51
  watching on Hulu. It's on other stuff too, but
• 1:40:55
  yeah. So when I'll go for it I.
• 1:40:58
  Was going to say one last question.
• 1:41:00
  In the Lightning round, how many screenshots do you have on your
• 1:41:05
  phone right now? Oh my God, can I?
• 1:41:07
  Can I look? OK, Let's see you guys.
• 1:41:11
  I bet you couldn't even guess how many pictures I have in my
• 1:41:14
  phone. 5005 thousand. What do you think?
• 1:41:18
  6800. 60. 805,223. I have, I have or I have 73,000.
• 1:41:32
  73,070. 3000 pictures way up. OK, that Apple bill.
• 1:41:41
  So it's crazy. OK, And then screenshots.
• 1:41:44
  I have 8786. Oh shit, I got.
• 1:41:48
  Receipts, OK. And that's a Virgo trait, so
• 1:41:50
  don't come a lot. That's a lot.
• 1:41:52
  I thought that I had a lot of pictures and I'm like I need to
• 1:41:55
  get rid of these pics. Don't come for me because I save
• 1:41:58
  receipts, OK? Just remember that.
• 1:42:01
  Speaking of places to save and where to find you.
• 1:42:05
  So we've now heard a little bit about your stories, your
• 1:42:08
  passions, your interests. Tell us and our listeners.
• 1:42:11
  How can everyone find and support you?
• 1:42:13
  Yeah, so they can, you guys can find me on Instagram at the
• 1:42:16
  fashion risk taker under score. Also on there there's a bunch of
• 1:42:21
  other page like my shoppers key page, my power livestock page.
• 1:42:25
  Just click on my bio and it has all of those.
• 1:42:28
  Or on Facebook, Cara Billy if you have some clients for me,
• 1:42:31
  add me on Facebook if you want to see my dope cool life go on
• 1:42:36
  Instagram so I don't have TikTok, though I'm a little
• 1:42:39
  boring when it comes to that. Now we just got it.
• 1:42:41
  It's hard. It's TikTok.
• 1:42:42
  Hard to keep up with all of these.
• 1:42:44
  It is what are you? What is your favorite platforms?
• 1:42:47
  Instagram for me or Facebook for me.
• 1:42:49
  It's Instagram. Instagram.
• 1:42:51
  Yeah, maybe I like, I like seeing reels.
• 1:42:54
  Yeah, yeah, I'm same. Yeah, I'm not a so I'm out of my
• 1:42:58
  thing, but Pavaco Palacentro. What does that?
• 1:43:06
  Mean is it kind of like?