Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Christy Carlson Romano on the Dark Side of Child Acting and Addiction

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Christy Carlson Romano on the Dark Side of Child Acting and Addiction · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Welcome
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: to I Choose Me. You know Christy Carlson Romano as
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: the iconic Wren Stevens from Even Stevens and as the
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: voice of the incomparable Kim Possible. You may have seen
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: her as Belle on Broadway in Beauty and the Beast.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: She is an actress. She's a singer. She's a mama.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: and now the author of Once Upon a Trainwreck. Please
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: welcome Christy Carlson Romano.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Hi there. You look so beautiful. Well, thank you.
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  Speaker 2: So do you.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you're all grown up.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it happened.
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  Speaker 1: You're like, finally.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly. With the book, kind of, that is a part
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  Speaker 2: of it for sure.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, yes. So yes, your memoir is called Once Upon
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a Trainwreck. The fall and rise of a child star.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Why train wreck?
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  Speaker 3: Well, I think that there's many stops in this track
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  Speaker 3: of life. And I think that for me, I definitely
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  Speaker 3: hit a low at some point in my 20s before
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  Speaker 3: I met my husband. And so it kind of, it
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  Speaker 3: documents exactly that. where I was at the height of
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  Speaker 3: my career as a young performer and then sort of
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  Speaker 3: how I got to that place really like earnestly and
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  Speaker 3: genuinely and really doesn't hold back. No.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, good. Because that's people, we both know that people
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  Speaker 1: come to our, you know, teen star memoirs for behind
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  Speaker 1: the scenes stuff and the juicy details of all of it. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: there is some of that in Trainwreck, but there's also more.
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  Speaker 1: What do you hope people really get from your book?
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  Speaker 3: You know, one of the bits of feedback I've gotten
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  Speaker 3: from people reading it is that it's relatable. And you
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  Speaker 3: would think from a tell-all memoir type book that that
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  Speaker 3: wouldn't be the case. But, you know, I think we're,
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  Speaker 3: specifically for a lot of the fans that grew up
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  Speaker 3: with me, they're in this millennial existential crisis where they've
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  Speaker 3: gone through a lot of different life experiences that were
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  Speaker 3: quote unquote unprecedented. And I should say Gen X too,
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  Speaker 3: where we've all lived in this society that's been just
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  Speaker 3: reaching out for one another and social media for better
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  Speaker 3: and for worse has tried to help that. And it's
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  Speaker 3: helped me in the end, but I think for a
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  Speaker 3: long time, a lot of us have felt alone. So
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  Speaker 3: I hope that people can see themselves in the humanity
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  Speaker 3: of my journey and feel a little less alone.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure they will because just the way you
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  Speaker 1: write it, when someone feels like they're reading something from
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  Speaker 1: a friend of theirs, it really does make a difference.
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  Speaker 2: Good. I'm hoping that's the case.
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  Speaker 3: And I think we're really in a culture now where
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  Speaker 3: people can smell inauthenticity like a mile away. And with
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  Speaker 3: this book, it was just, okay, this is my time
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  Speaker 3: to tell my story. So Yeah, didn't hold back, which
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  Speaker 3: is a bit terrifying, actually, now that it's this close
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  Speaker 3: to it coming out and everything.
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  Speaker 2: It's a little scary.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know the feeling.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was thinking you would. I was hoping you would.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is an intense time. I had at least
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  Speaker 1: one mental break while on my press tour of just
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  Speaker 1: being so afraid to be so vulnerable. So I really
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  Speaker 1: understand how you're feeling right now.
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  Speaker 2: Good. I'm glad I don't feel alone today.
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  Speaker 1: No, never. You write about spending becoming almost a form
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  Speaker 1: of self-harm for you at one point. When did you
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  Speaker 1: realize that your relationship with money was connected to something
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  Speaker 1: much deeper emotionally?
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  Speaker 3: I feel like when I lost it was when I
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  Speaker 3: had to really reevaluate my relationship to it, right? I
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  Speaker 3: think with anything that one person can be addicted to,
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  Speaker 3: it's when you stop the drinking or when you stop
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  Speaker 3: the spending and being addicted to people, places, things, that
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  Speaker 3: sort of thing. And I think that I had had
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  Speaker 3: a lot of really bad relationships that I tried to
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  Speaker 3: fix with money. You know, I write about renting one
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  Speaker 3: of my exes a Ferrari for his birthday and trying
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  Speaker 3: to sort of make him love me by, you know,
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  Speaker 3: either buying a psychic stone and, and, and things like that,
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  Speaker 3: where I threw money at problems that had answers within myself.
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  Speaker 2: And I couldn't, I couldn't see that clearly.
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  Speaker 1: No, I've been there too.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: For my first marriage, which was very young, I bought
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  Speaker 1: him a Harley, a vintage T-bird. Like I spent so
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  Speaker 1: much money trying to earn his love or prove why
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  Speaker 1: he should love me. And I just look back on
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  Speaker 1: that time and I think, well, he should have been
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  Speaker 1: buying me stuff. Like why?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Or yeah, if it was equal, that would have
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  Speaker 2: been half as bad, you know?
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 1: You do, you learn things the hard way sometimes in life.
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  Speaker 3: After every chapter, there's letters to my daughters and it's
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  Speaker 3: a big part of the book. the connective tissue to it.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And I think that this book is reaching through time
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  Speaker 3: and space to kind of leave a legacy book for
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  Speaker 3: them to kind of read and know that, you know,
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  Speaker 3: mom has been through it too. And there's probably nothing
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  Speaker 3: that they'll go through that I can't relate to on
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  Speaker 3: some level. And like you said, we've learned the hard
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  Speaker 3: way with just the lifestyle that we've lived and Um,
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  Speaker 3: I would love it if they felt a lot more
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  Speaker 3: kindred to me in their struggles over the years.
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  Speaker 2: And I hope the book does that, you know, I
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  Speaker 2: know that's so special.
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  Speaker 1: I haven't gotten to read your entire book yet. I'm
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  Speaker 1: really looking forward to it, but I'm, this is very
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  Speaker 1: exciting to be able to kind of hear from you
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  Speaker 1: what you wanted out of the book and the most
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  Speaker 1: meaningful parts. And that sounds like a really meaningful thing
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  Speaker 1: in the book that I'm going to really listen into
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  Speaker 1: along with helping your daughter, um, you could help an
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  Speaker 1: I Choose Me listener today. I have a listener calling in.
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  Speaker 1: Her name is Sophie and she's struggling with spending right now.
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  Speaker 1: And she could probably use some help from those that
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  Speaker 1: have been through it. So can we take a second
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  Speaker 1: and talk to Sophie?
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  Speaker 2: I would love that.
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  Speaker 4: Hi, my name is Sophie and I have a really
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  Speaker 4: great job.
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  Speaker 1: I love it.
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  Speaker 4: I work really hard and And I'm on track for promotion.
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  Speaker 4: The problem is I have not gotten that promotion. And
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  Speaker 4: because I work so hard, I feel like I deserve
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  Speaker 4: these things by myself. I tend to overshop and I
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  Speaker 4: justify that I need these things because I work hard
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  Speaker 4: and I deserve them. But the other issue is, you know,
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  Speaker 4: while I'm starting to enjoy these nice things, Everyone around me,
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  Speaker 4: all my friends and a lot of my colleagues, they
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  Speaker 4: just make more money than me. And I feel like
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  Speaker 4: I have to keep up and buy these nice things.
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  Speaker 4: So I'm kind of in a tough situation and I'd
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  Speaker 4: love to know what advice you might have.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you. Okay. Sophie, thank you for calling in. And yeah,
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  Speaker 1: this is a tough spot. I know a lot of
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  Speaker 1: people can relate to this. Absolutely. Because finances are stressful.
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  Speaker 2: They are so stressful.
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  Speaker 3: They are what motivate us to get up and get
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  Speaker 3: out of bed some days.
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  Speaker 2: Which is sad.
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  Speaker 1: Time to make the bacon.
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  Speaker 3: Yep.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. My father always used to say, baby needs shoes.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you know what, Sophie, there's always going to be
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  Speaker 1: somebody out there that has the bigger house, the nicer car,
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  Speaker 1: the designer handbags and shoes. And The problem with comparing
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  Speaker 1: your life to someone else's is that I know, and
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  Speaker 1: I've said this before, compare only creates despair within you.
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  Speaker 1: And the people oftentimes that are, you know, look really
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  Speaker 1: wealthy on the outside and who are flaunting all their
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  Speaker 1: things are probably the ones drowning in debt, honestly, living
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  Speaker 1: far beyond their means just to maintain an image of
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  Speaker 1: What do you think you would tell Sophie?
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  Speaker 2: Think of your future.
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  Speaker 3: I think that spending is a really immediate impulse that
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  Speaker 3: we all absolutely fall victim to. And it's so easy
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  Speaker 3: to have this lifestyle creep where we do see our
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  Speaker 3: friends having these beautiful things. And we say, well, if
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  Speaker 3: I'm evaluating my role in this tribe, because we're very
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  Speaker 3: tribal people.
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  Speaker 2: You know, people. We haven't evolved that much. Then we
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  Speaker 2: try to fit within our tribe.
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  Speaker 3: But the truth is, is it's actually a really great
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  Speaker 3: opportunity to evaluate a couple things.
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  Speaker 2: One would be your friendships, I would say.
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  Speaker 3: And if you did scale back, what does that bring
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  Speaker 3: up in you where you don't feel like you're enough
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  Speaker 3: in order to be in their presence and to have
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  Speaker 3: their friendships? And I would say that's maybe a deeper
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  Speaker 3: conversation to have with yourself. Separately, I think when you're
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  Speaker 3: thinking of your future, financial literacy in women, unfortunately, we
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  Speaker 3: become a little bit of a train wreck at times
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  Speaker 3: in our lives, whether it's you know, not even being
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  Speaker 3: considered for the promotion.
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  Speaker 2: So that's fantastic. Congratulations on that. Right.
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  Speaker 1: Let's hope it comes through. I'm on people.
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  Speaker 2: I'm praying for you. But there's the on-ramps and the
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  Speaker 2: off-ramps where.
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  Speaker 3: If you end up having a baby or your life changes,
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  Speaker 3: then you just don't get as many opportunities. So what
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  Speaker 3: you do have is really important to save so that
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  Speaker 3: when you are older, you can see the compounding of
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  Speaker 3: everything that you've saved. And time, they say, especially with motherhood,
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  Speaker 3: they say that the days are long, but the years
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  Speaker 3: are short. And I think that extends to anyone, truly,
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  Speaker 3: because before you know it, you blink and you're 60,
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  Speaker 3: 70 years old. And so you want to make sure
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  Speaker 3: that you're being really smart about your future because you
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  Speaker 3: don't want to look back and say, well, that time
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  Speaker 3: has passed and so has that opportunity to invest.
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, I think also what you said kind of
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  Speaker 1: more on a bigger level, true... confidence doesn't come from
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  Speaker 1: having all the shiny things that everyone else has. It
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  Speaker 1: comes from you having the courage to walk your own
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  Speaker 1: path and make your own decisions about what is important
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  Speaker 1: to you. So if I could help you by giving
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  Speaker 1: you a little tip, I would say that every time
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  Speaker 1: you feel the urge to compare your life to someone else's,
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  Speaker 1: not just their life, but maybe their highlight reel, because
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  Speaker 1: they're only showing you all the good stuff. They're not
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  Speaker 1: showing you the struggle, the real things that are happening
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: inside their home. I would just encourage you to say,
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  Speaker 1: just pause and tell yourself, you know what? I choose
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  Speaker 1: me right now. And let that align you with your
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: true identity and what's the most important thing to you
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  Speaker 1: in your life. And really get clear on what those
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  Speaker 1: things are. And then when other people's things, possessions, material
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  Speaker 1: items come into your view, it's easier for you to discern, well,
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  Speaker 1: you know what? That's not really that important to me.
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  Speaker 1: What is important to me is that I am creating
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  Speaker 1: a nest egg so that I have financial stability. Should
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  Speaker 1: I not be working at some point in my life
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  Speaker 1: or should I want to leave and have a baby
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  Speaker 1: or go traveling? You've got to set yourself up for
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  Speaker 1: success and that's way more important than having the Gucci
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  Speaker 1: bag or the I, for one, never, ever spent my
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  Speaker 1: money on a fancy bag or like fancy, you know, shoes,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: like really expensive things because I had kids really early
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  Speaker 1: in my life and I had my priorities in order
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  Speaker 1: and I knew how hard it was to make money,
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  Speaker 1: not just for myself, but for my family too. And
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  Speaker 1: it really put everything into perspective. So just, yeah, take
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  Speaker 1: a step back and decide what actually feels aligned for you,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: what brings you joy. And rather than chasing around some
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: projected version of success, just project the true you and
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: take your own, take your path. You've got one.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I think what's great about it is that she already
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: knows she has a problem. Yes.
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  Speaker 1: They say that's the first step is recognizing the problem.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I also have a woman that I would recommend you
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: reading her books. Her name is Nicole Lappin, and she
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: writes really easy to understand books on money and finances
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: and I think you would get a lot out of
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: reading them. So maybe check her out. But gosh, thank you, Sophie,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: for sharing your story and being so vulnerable and telling
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  Speaker 1: us where you are right now. And I know, like
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  Speaker 1: I said before, so many people are going to be
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: able to relate to that. I can relate to that.
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  Speaker 1: And we are all rooting for you. You got this. Christy,
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  Speaker 1: you talk about how complicated it can be to separate
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  Speaker 1: your true identity from the characters that you've played or
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: the people that, you know, people have watched you grow up.
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  Speaker 1: Do you have any examples of that sort of conflict
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  Speaker 1: meeting you right in the face? Absolutely. Where they think
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  Speaker 1: you're something, but you're just not that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I find that with my current situation.
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  Speaker 2: You know, the more that I share.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: about my past to promote my book or in times
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: in the past when I've thrown it out there with
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: a darkly humorous stroke or even just made a YouTube
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  Speaker 3: video about it. I get a lot of criticism from
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: folks that grew up with me.
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  Speaker 2: Some are very supportive.
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  Speaker 3: I would say I have an overwhelming amount of support
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  Speaker 3: and I'm so grateful for that. But with the folks
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: that have sort of a you know, a very fixed
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: version of nostalgia for themselves. I think they have a
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: very hard time. Yes. Seeing the complexities of a person
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  Speaker 3: that they saw, which I'm sure you can relate to
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  Speaker 3: as like the perfect girl.
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  Speaker 2: And you, you, we are all very three-dimensional people.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: So when, when you start having an opinion as a woman,
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  Speaker 3: I am finding that it makes people very uncomfortable.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm curious, when did you start to figure out
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  Speaker 1: who Christy was outside of being these big infamous Ren
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Stevens and Kim Possible characters that people grew up with?
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: I have to say it was motherhood.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: You know, I think it baptized me into a whole new,
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: a whole new self.
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  Speaker 3: And I truly just shed the identity of being this other,
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: you know, child performer. And I became a mother and I,
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  Speaker 3: it gave me so much cathartic growth all at once
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  Speaker 3: where right when I became pregnant, I realized I had
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: a problem with alcohol. So I already made that big
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  Speaker 3: leap right then and there. And from there, I think
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  Speaker 3: it was just all the way up, you know, just
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  Speaker 3: one day at a time, making good decisions, growing a
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: life within me and feeling truly autonomous, which I would
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  Speaker 3: say is a theme in the book that I have
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: a really hard time finding myself and, um, you know,
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: knowing my worth and my power inside myself. So I
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: think when we become mothers as women, we feel so powerful,
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  Speaker 3: you know, most of the time when you're, when you're
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: in those, in the, in that era of your life, you.
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  Speaker 1: Know, it's powerful, but like your focus goes onto something
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  Speaker 1: so much more important than you.
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  Speaker 3: Not you, you're not thinking about you. And I actually
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  Speaker 3: used to call it a narcissistic purgatory because you have
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: to keep thinking.
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  Speaker 2: About you and the industry. Otherwise, you won't succeed.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: But then, you know, you want nothing more than to
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: think about something else.
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 3: So I would say that, yeah, motherhood definitely, definitely fixed
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: that for me.
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  Speaker 1: You recently wrote a piece that I read on Elle online.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: And it was after Hayden Panettiere's death. You felt compelled
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: to reflect on really the failure of our industry to
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: sort of protect young actors. I thought that was really
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: brave and interesting. And one of the things that you
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: said that really stuck with me by the end of
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: the article was like you said, about your own daughter, quote,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: how badly I want her to grow up in a
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: world where children are not asked to become consumable before
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: they become whole. That kind of shook me.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think with social media, our children are at
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: risk for this, even if they're not, you know, with
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  Speaker 2: an agent and a manager and going out on auditions.
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  Speaker 3: And what scares me the most about that is that
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  Speaker 3: anyone can be famous now. So it's quite scary to
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: see I can only protect my daughters so much that
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: they're on YouTube. They're watching these things casually on any
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: given device, and you can really only protect them so much.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to be relying a lot on my
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: experience to help imbue them with some perspective over time.
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  Speaker 2: Hopefully they listen.
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  Speaker 3: But I think even just in the introduction of all
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: of the ways that our society prizes youth as a
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: means for so much gain.
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  Speaker 2: It's very predatory.
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  Speaker 4: It is.
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  Speaker 3: It's very predatory. And as a parent, you start to
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: look at it through a whole other lens.
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  Speaker 2: It is.
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  Speaker 1: It's so tricky, too, because it's not always predatory. It
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: can quickly and easily become that even when it wasn't
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: intended to be that. But also we need representation of
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: young people in programming. Like, you know, I know when
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Beverly Hills 90210 came out, yes, it was about teenagers,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: but that's still very young. And there had been never
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: a conversation like we were having on 90210 out there
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: for other teens to hear and to like associate with.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: So even going younger, like when you were– you started–
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: We need that perspective. We need that point of view.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: We need that voice out there. And we also love
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: young people. Like they entertain us. So it's not always predatory.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: That's the hard part, you know?
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I agree with you.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I think that there's a way forward here that I
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: think is an uncomfortable conversation for the industry that's already
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: having so many difficulties with staying afloat. And it's been
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: a long time coming to have this conversation. What I
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: think discourages me sometimes is just how little effort there's
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: been to have more data that if you were to say, okay,
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: on the whole, if you were to take someone who's
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: entering as a minor versus someone who's exiting as just
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: having come of age, like, What mental health struggles did
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: they have? Where can we find modes of intervention and
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: the times that we.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Can actually provide that as a union?
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I think this holds true to where the union can
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: actually help.
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: Support.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. Because there's no better information than once someone
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: has lived it for them to share their story. And
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: then once you hear that same story repeated by a
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: lot of people in the industry, those struggles of mental
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: health and just feeling the way we end up feeling,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: I think, as a commodity. I always said like a
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: pawn in someone else's chess game.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's where the struggle for autonomy exists, especially
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: when you're known as a particular character. where you say
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: to yourself, well, how do I, you know, and that's
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: why we've seen time and time again, so many actresses
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: go the, you know, the sexy route. Miley Cyrus comes
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: to mind, who I think was an expert at being
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: the architect of her own, like completely new chapter.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: And it ruffled a lot of feathers.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: I was recently talking to her mother about this and
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: I was like, did she know what she was doing?
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Or was this what people perceived as some sort of
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: mental break? And she was like, she knew exactly what
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: she was doing. And it took that amount of sacrifice
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: to kind of burn the old you to then gain.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: But in my opinion, that comes with a struggle. So
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: there's got to be a way to sort of help
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: kids bridge, you know, to have some more grace for
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: them to go from point A to point B as
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: an adult. I'm just not exactly sure what that would
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: look like.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, point given with, you know, the loss of
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: another extremely talented, wonderful actress and, you know, heartbreaking reminder
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: of how addiction can take part in all of this.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: And even when somebody seems to have it all together,
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: you've been really brave in speaking publicly about your own
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: relationship with alcohol. And how it nearly costs you everything.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: If you're open to share it, could you tell us
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: what made that pull so powerful when you were struggling
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: and what ultimately helped you choose yourself and your sobriety?
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: I mean, I struggled with alcohol, I would say, from
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: the time I was... probably around 18 when I started
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: to go out and go to nightclubs.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Go clubbing. Yep. Clubbing, going to the clubs.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: I went, I went even earlier, but didn't really have
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: a fondness for alcohol.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: And what it could really afford me.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: And then when times were tough is when I think
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: alcohol presented itself as a, as a trusted friend.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: It was always there.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: And I wouldn't wake up and drink, but I would,
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: you know, make sure I was on an empty stomach
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: and go out and, drink six to nine vodka OJs
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: just to have a good time and think I was
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: networking in the industry. But really, it was just sort
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: of fostering a slow drip of an addiction to alcohol.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: So alcohol in my life was a problem for a
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: long time. I think that it was one of the
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: many things that sort.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Of contributed to this, this train wreck that I speak
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: of in the book. And I didn't, it's, it's, it's
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: in the book.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: It's, it's sort of a current, uh, throughout it, but
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: we don't really understand it until I'm sitting in therapist's
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: office with my husband and we're talking about being pregnant.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: And I have to admit that I'm powerless over alcohol
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: because it's the first time that I would stop drinking
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: and since I was 18. So, you know, if you
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: can't remember the last time you've been sober for as
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: long as you, you know, a couple of days, then
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: I think that you start to have to really evaluate your.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Relationship to it.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I think there comes a time for all
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: of us because it's so easy to have access to alcohol.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: underage or overage.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: It's everywhere.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: It's at every dinner. It's at every company party. It's
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: just so encouraged in our society to consume alcohol.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially back then.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: I feel like the nightlife culture was at a very
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: high point, especially in Los Angeles and New York. And
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: There was just such a I mean, every song that
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: you heard was about shots and drinking and it was
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: just really everywhere, which is why I find it really
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: lovely that there's a mocktail culture now.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: There's a there's a big, sober, curious population now where.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Kids are not drinking as much.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: And, you know, and I love that.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: My girls are on that same one of my girls
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: doesn't drink at all. And I just find that so
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: refreshing and so great for her. Like I'm, you know,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: just like, wow, I wish I could have gone through
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: my teens and early adulthood like that. Cause maybe things,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: maybe a lot of things would be different in my life.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I'm sure.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: It's having alcohol in your life clouds your judgment.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: And I think that because I kept going back to it,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: a lot of my judgment calls were just really off.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: And I wasn't able to focus.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: What do you think that girl who was clubbing and
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: out there being social, what do you think she lost
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: out on the most?
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: A career. I think that my career suffered because of alcohol.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: I think that, you know, I never came to set drunk,
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: but I definitely went to auditions two hours late, you know,
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: and couldn't find my way and just was very irresponsible.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: And I, I feel like I had a very delayed
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: maturity in a lot of ways, but then I was
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: overly mature in others.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I can layer. Yep.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I've, I've always thought like, what's wrong with me? Why
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: am I 10 years behind my real peers? You know,
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: they all seem to have their shit together and I'm
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: over here just still struggling. I don't get it. But yeah,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I kind of realized, uh, I didn't get to develop, uh,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: the way a regular person does who's not in the industry. Yeah.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: You need that socialization. You know, you need that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: You were really like, you were huge in the 2000s.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Yes. Right?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I had the 90s.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: You had the 2000s, but it's the same story.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely. It is.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: It's the same story that the industry probably hasn't even
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: changed that much today, you know, which is why it
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: can be a little daunting to speak on this stuff
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: because even though we have more social media presences for
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: people who are on TV now where they're able to
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: kind of use their platforms to create their own brands.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: You know, they have so much more ability to navigate
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: their own image and likeness and even make money off
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: of it versus having to wait for the next opportunity
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: and the phone to call and all of that. But still,
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that there's still The Hollywood parties and the
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: pressures and just the confusion of, you know, where do
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I end and my career begin?
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: It's so true. And it's hard to find yourself in
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: all that noise. It's really hard to find your true north.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: You have to step away.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: You have to step away, you know, and I mean,
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: that's why there are so many people that step away
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: from Hollywood for me. stepping away meant moving away. And
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: so we moved to Austin, Texas in 2020.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: And we've been, I can't say, I can't say it enough.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: It was just the most amazing choice for my family to,
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: to really just get away and show myself that I
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: could still function and work within the industry in different ways,
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: whether it's on social media or podcasts or now the
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: occasional Hallmark movie, which is coming out. But it's all
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: just one big.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: Journey, I find.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, your life, you describe it as a train wreck.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I guess that's the fall, right?
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: That's the fall, yeah. The fall from fame.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: And then the rise was you making this intentional choice
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: to redirect your life, not just for yourself, but for
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: your family. And you already had your two girls at
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: that time?
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: When I moved to... Austin, yes.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I admire that a lot because oftentimes I thought that
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: when my girls were little, but I really stayed because
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I thought if I leave, how am I going to
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: pay the bills? This is what I do. I have
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: to be here. And things have changed so much now
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: that You know, people like you are taking these wonderful
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: opportunities and getting the hell out of town. I'm so
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: happy for you.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you very much. And I miss it.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: You know, I miss being closer to, you know, the
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: ability to collaborate more and be in person with people.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: But we make it work. And I think Austin's a
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: great city. Have you been here?
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes. Many times. I have a close tribe of
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: friends there. So I visit a lot.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, good.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: I love it too.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: The only thing is I just always eat way too
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: much queso when I'm there and I don't eat cheese.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: So you can see the problem that might.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: The queso, the queso. You can't refuse the queso.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: If you do, they kick you out of Texas.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: It's so funny. Well, thank you. This has been so lovely.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: You are so wonderful.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, thank you. Once Upon a Trainwreck is Christy's
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: new memoir. It's available now. There's so much more to
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: talk about. Part two is coming soon.