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When Life Changes Overnight: Finding Courage After Losing Your Sight | Laura Bratton · Willow Healing Matters Podcast

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Willow Healing Matters, the podcast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: We're so excited to have you joining us on this journey
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: where we explore different ways to empower your soul,
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: whether it's healing in your kitchen or all the way up in the corporate world.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: Come with us as we look into different ways to heal your mind, body and soul.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: My virtual obsession,
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: my romantic thriller, is now available on Amazon and other online retailers.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: This book explores the intersection of loneliness, love,
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: and how chasing perfection through technology can lead to fantasy
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: and reality colliding.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: My virtual obsession out now.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Hey everybody,
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: it's Catherine Crestani with another episode of Willow Healing Matters
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: and today I am joined by Laura Bratton.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: So at the age of nine,
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: Laura was diagnosed with an eye disease and faced a difficult reality
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: that she would become blind.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Over the next 10 years,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: she experienced the traumatic transition of adjusting to life without sight.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: Laura adjusted to her new normal and was able to move forward in life
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: as she graduated from Arizona State University with a BA in psychology.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: She then was the first blind student to receive the Masters of Divinity
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: from Princeton Theological Seminary.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: She is the author of the book,
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Harnessing Courage,
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Laura founded UBI Global,
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: which is an organization that provides speaking and coaching to empower all people
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: to overcome challenges and obstacles with grit and gratitude.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: So a big welcome to the show, Laura.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate the opportunity.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us a little bit about your journey because I can imagine losing,
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: going blind when you could see and then,
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know,
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not blind obviously,
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: but it must have been quite a journey having to learn to adapt to that in life.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the hardest part was the emotional part because exactly what you said,
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I had sight for so long, I knew how easy life was with sight in the sighted world.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So as I lost a significant amount of vision,
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: it was the complete unknown of, okay, is that all the vision I'll lose for a while?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Can I adapt and adjust to this form of life, this amount of vision, or not?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: So there was that complete unknown because there was no roadmap of,
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: you'll go completely blind at this age, or this is when you'll lose a lot of sight.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So because of that unknown,
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: it's like I would lose a significant amount of my sight,
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then just to that way of living,
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: and then a year and a half later, I lose another suit, maybe an amount of sight.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the emotional reaction,
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: the anxiety,
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: the depression,
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: the grief,
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot put into words the depth and the severity of Of how difficult that was.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel it's almost like you knew how easy it was that made it the biggest emotional jump.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's what made the jump so incredibly hard.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: So curiosity is,
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: did you lose your sight before you started your degree in psychology or was it
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: before that or where was the timeline with this?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I lost my sight before the psychology.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm saying wow for anyone listening who hasn't been to university and done
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: a degree in psychology or like any health or sciences or any degree really.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot involved.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of reading.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of learning.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot that is visually based.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: So well done, Laura.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: That's amazing.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: So then how did your journey
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: continue from there?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So in the midst of that depression,
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: anxiety and grief,
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: The only way that I survived,
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: and I do not mean this like cliche,
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: but I mean this very literal, was because of the support that I had around.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I experienced in real time the gift of spiritual support,
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: that higher power,
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: just that tapping into something greater than ourselves and And
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: the support around us supporting us when we do not think we're enough
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: or we don't think we matter anymore or even that our gifts matter anymore.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's only the gift of support that empower me to say,
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: okay, I do have this strength and mind, body, spirit when I tap into that resource.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel that that's such a big thing, right?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Remembering that there's more support than what you actually realize
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: because often we will go,
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: we're so alone,
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: but then we have this whole spirit team there waiting for us to say,
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: actually, you're not.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: You're not alone.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: Remember me?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Remember,
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: your team is here and your team can always be accessed with sight,
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: no sight, you know, whatever the situation.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I feel to ask just out of curiosity, when you connect with your team, Are you able to see?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you're in meditation,
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: can you see like you would normally or do you have other things
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: that come online instead?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: Both.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yes and no.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: And let me explain
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: by that.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because I had Cipher so long, I definitely had that visual map.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, the beach, nature...
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is my deep connection.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: So yes, I can visualize myself standing on the beach,
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: walking on the beach,
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: looking at the ocean, the sunrise, the sunset, that sort of thing.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: But as far as connecting with my spirit team, it's not a visual, I'm seeing them.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's a deep intuition.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's not even, it's not visual, it's not auditory.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is just a deep, deep,
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: deep tuition I feel within my soul and also my spirit team connecting through
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: the sand, through the water, through the waves, through dolphins, through the sun.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I connect.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was so curious then.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I wanted to ask.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: That was a me question.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it's both visually,
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: as far as being in meditation,
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: visualizing different scenes,
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: but as far as connecting,
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: it's definitely that deep intuition and that speaking through the waves,
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: through the dolphins.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So beautiful.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's so beautiful.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Dolphins keep coming into my field.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I need to pay them a little bit of attention.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for bringing them back in.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hours about dolphin.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've done a lot of dolphin work.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I just connect with them so deeply.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I know now that you're working with clients,
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: teaching them how to go into with like grit and gratitude.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so how did that evolve to this part of your life where you are now?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Only because of my life experience.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So my spirit team,
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: the physical support around me,
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: all of that combined taught me, yes, you still matter.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you are enough.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, your gifts have meaning.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Once I realized that,
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: my passion became guiding others,
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: supporting others as they experience change so that they also can access
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: that spirit team, that physical team, and likewise, move forward.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: So because of my experience,
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: that's when I developed the framework of grit and gratitude
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: and using those two tools to Spiritually and physically to navigate through change.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: So my whole passion is working with people,
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: either groups, companies, individuals that are going through change.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And being that guide to say, okay,
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: how do you tap into all your resources so you can keep going
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: and you can keep being you even in the midst of major change and still make
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: a difference in this world?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I was going to say, what do you mean by grit?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I feel you just defined that so beautifully, Laura.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's again where those dolphins come in.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I would love just to quickly explain, but I've done research and really studied this.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: So in the ocean,
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: when a storm is developing, the dolphins do not turn and run away from the storm.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: The dolphins do not try to go parallel to the storm brewing in the ocean.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So they're always kind of beside the storm, you know, they're parallel to it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: They actually turn their body and go directly into the storm.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: How amazing.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: That is the gift,
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: not to become victim,
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: not to be paralyzed,
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: but they approach the storm head on and continue their swim and their strength
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: through the storm.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I define grit.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is not saying victim,
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: not being overwhelmed by the anxiety,
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: the depression,
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: the fear,
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: rather than saying, okay,
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: this is the situation,
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: this is how I feel,
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: this is my anger,
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: these are my tears,
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: whatever the feeling is,
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: and then saying, okay, what do I choose to do about it to navigate for?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, beautiful.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I love that dolphins go into the storm, right?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's so fascinating because we've been taught to kind of hide from the storm.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, or delay it, right?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like if we tense up, you know, and almost like resist it.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: So then
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know what the
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: gratitude component is.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I feel I do.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: But what is the gratitude component of anyone going gratitude?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean gratitude?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: Let's define that.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the gratitude, very similar to the grit.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And let me first say how I originally thought gratitude was just like I thought
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: the grit was kind of Buckling down, resisting, which makes life harder.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I thought the gratitude was being thankful for everything all the time,
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: faking the positivity, and that helps us build the gratitude and moving forward.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: That made me more anxious, more depressed.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: What I realized through a spiritual mentor was gratitude was developing a mindset
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: that helps us recognize what we are deeply grateful for and appreciative for in
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: the midst of all of life.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that mindset gives us strength in life.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: So again, using a dolphin's example...
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am deeply grateful they taught me to turn towards the storm and go in
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: the storm directly headfirst,
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: acknowledging it and figuring out how to literally swim through it rather
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: than avoiding it.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not being grateful for the storm.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's being grateful for knowing how to navigate through the storm.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So on a very practical level,
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: for me, it does not look like saying, I am so grateful for this blindness.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like saying,
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am so grateful for a guide dog that helps me navigate through this world.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love that because there is this element of toxic positivity, right?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And truly, that toxic positivity made me worse.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I tried it.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: I even tried this too, Laura.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was still going to my job and I was like, I'm going for my family.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: Even though my soul's dying a little bit every time I go,
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going because we need the money from my family.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Except my body's like, no, no, it's not working.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: We're just going to actually numb you.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, sometimes people find it really difficult to find gratitude.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I like how you've reframed it for having the gratitude that you have the skills
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: to get through.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I like to say, thank you for the good I cannot see.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because especially if I'm having a really tough time, I know there's something in there yet.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: I just haven't found it.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not going to lie about it and go, I'm so grateful.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what I want everyone to hear in our conversation.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are not saying, take your pain and be grateful for it.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: We are not saying...
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: What you said, like numb with gratitude, numb out.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: We are saying acknowledge the pain and recognize what gets you through it.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's funny because sometimes when I'm in a lot of pain, I'll be like, thank you for this pain.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: It reminds me in my body and I'm done with it now.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, I know I'm in my body.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: But you're on the flip side of that.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: Move on.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Move on.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: I can let go now.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Move on.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like if someone hits you with a stick,
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: you're not going to say, oh, thank you, I needed that, right?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: And if you are someone saying, thank you, I needed that, why?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk, right?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: So for just applying this to real world,
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: for someone that might be going through a tough time,
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: do you have any tips for people where they might be able to apply this grit
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: and gratitude,
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: not giving away all your secrets,
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: but just some easy steps they can take to maybe feel more centered or come back
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: to themselves so that they're not overwhelmed and not giving in to the anxiety?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: The easiest,
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: not the easiest,
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: the first step that It's hard,
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: but it makes the path forward easy, is acknowledge your feelings.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: When we're in the midst of pain,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: where we've experienced major change,
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: I did this and the people I work with, we always want to go, okay, here's the pain.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what's in goal?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get out?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we want to go from A to Z.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: When we stop to acknowledge when the pain is happening,
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: when we've experienced the loss,
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: the change, whatever those feelings are, when we stop to say, this really hurts.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is really unexpected.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is not what I had in my life plan.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't, you know, I didn't expect this person to die suddenly.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it might be, acknowledging that pain validates our reality.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And validating our reality allows us to then move.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, beautiful.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: I love that so much, Laura,
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: especially because,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: yeah, we have been, but we've also been taught to numb the pain as well, right?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: So this is like you get a headache and instead
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: of asking what's actually making my head hurt,
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: we'll just reach for whatever it is to numb that rather than sitting there.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I agree with you 100% that emotions are the same.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, for me, it's like, I'm so confused.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then you try and run away from that.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: And someone just said to me, just sit in the confusion.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: A therapist said to me, sit in the anxiety and it will decrease.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, I can't do that.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: That might kill me.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, just try it for five minutes.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I tried it and my anxiety decreased.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's almost, I find, well, it's that whole saying, what you resist persists, right?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: That is so cliche.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of roll my eyes when I heard that years ago, but I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so true.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I know, right?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm the queen of resisting.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh my gosh, I do that really, really well.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: The question that just popped in my head,
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Laura, was how do you know if you need to keep persevering and do that grit?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Or maybe it's just time to let
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: something go.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad you said that because I definitely want to clarify.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: The grit is not persisting, sucking it up, just move through the pain.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: The grit is having the courage every single day to validate your pain and
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: then choose to do one step to move you forward.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not persistence like just get through it with fruit strength.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's choosing every single day to tap into your strength and say,
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: today is I will do one step to move me towards where I want to go.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not about just being persistent, persistent, persistent.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's about having the grace and the courage every single day.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel it's about choosing yourself too, right?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's undermining all that idea that by choosing yourself, you're being selfish.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And also that letting something go is not a failure.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know,
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: I know I work a lot with people in relationships and stepping out because you have
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: to be dumb.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because the relationship's not working anymore and going through that divorce process.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: It does not mean you're a failure.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Choosing to leave your career because it doesn't work anymore doesn't mean you're a failure.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess the grit comes from learning to choose yourself too.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad you said that because what that makes me think of
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: that I absolutely want to say,
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: and this is something I've had to learn and still learning every single day,
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: self-compassion.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: We choose ourselves even when people do not choose us.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And having and developing that self-compassion,
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: that self-love gives us the strength to validate our own pain even
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: when other people are not.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say pain, I mean emotions.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: When people,
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: when we're crying and someone's like, I'll just get up, suck it up, grab your tears.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: Or you've been talking about this now for two weeks, get over it.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like,
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: When we still have those
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: feelings within us,
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: it's enough even when we're the only one validating those emotions.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: What a beautiful reminder.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's our experience, right?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's no one else's.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: No one else can understand fully what you're going through because it's your experience.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: 100%.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad you said that.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like we've done full circle.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: It was like I said to you at the start,
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not blind, so I don't understand that experience you've been through.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: But it doesn't mean that I'm not going to say that you're not going
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: to validate your experience because you've still experienced it for you.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's still true in your world.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean that I fully understand,
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: but I can still have compassion for you and compassion for myself.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the key.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Compassion for ourselves and compassion for others.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, what I found is as I grow in my self-compassion, I have more compassion for others.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because you, well, you know, that's the whole thing.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Your internal world reflects your external world.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: So the more that you accept the parts of you and have the gratitude for your grit
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: and your strength,
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: the more you can have compassion for people on the outside of you too.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly, exactly.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: And for those at home playing along who are like, what is compassion exactly?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: How would you describe it, Laura?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the word compassion, compassion means suffering with.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: And when I originally told people like,
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: oh my gosh, you want me to suffer with myself for the rest of my life?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: You want me to suffer for the rest of my life?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's horrible.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not working with you anymore.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean suffer like Tearful calls yourself pain to suffer every day.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean suffering like being with yourself.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: So compassion,
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: literally,
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: the way I've internalized it is it's me sitting,
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: being, remaining with myself in all the experiences.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: In the joy, being joyful and allowing myself to feel the joy.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: In the laughter, being with the laughter and allowing myself to enjoy the laughter.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: In the tears, being with my tears and allowing myself to be tearful or bawl my eyes out.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not Feeling what I feel,
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: experience what I'm feeling,
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: and telling myself to move on is being with whatever emotions come up in the present
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: and not judging those emotions.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah,
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: I feel a lot of the time we default into wanting to apologize for getting upset
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: or apologizing for being angry.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: And it's funny because I often say, I'm allowed to be angry.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: I find those words come out of my mouth.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: I literally say that.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm allowed to be angry because for so long I didn't think it was okay to be angry.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then...
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then I like using anger as an example because a lot of people suppress their anger.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: But then what happens with anger is you push it down, you push it down, you push it down.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then someone's going to say something so little to you that you end up erupting
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: over something like in a huge monumental way
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: because you just didn't let yourself feel the anger and accept the anger.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you said that because that's exactly why I used anger most of the time as
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: an example because Because I'm hoping that gives people permission
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: to feel their anger.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: And anger, you can't just say, I'm angry, for those listening.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: You have to meet anger with the same energy that it's felt.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Anger is a big emotion.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and even...
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: My little nine-year-old the other week, he was feeling really angry and agitated.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I said to him, how are we going to get out of your body?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to go punch a pillow or scream?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: He goes, no, I want a punching bag.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: I want something hard to punch.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: I just need a way to get this energy out.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: So even he knows, like little kids know how to express that and say that.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: But we could tell them that that's not right.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or we could just say, okay, we need to go get you a punching bag.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: But actually him just yelling that was enough to shift it in itself.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's perfect.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's perfect.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Just the power of saying it forcefully, right?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, if you're sad, you just don't go, I'm sad.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: And tears have their own healing power too.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you brought up tears before because they do have this beautiful way
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: of actually helping shift and shift your nervous system at the same time.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Releasing.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: And Laura,
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: I asked the guests that come on the show,
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: if you could heal or change something in the world, what would it be?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, this is my answer, even if you and I had not just talked about that.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to say that genuinely.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying it because we talked about this.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: What I could heal is is for each of us to have a deeper level of self-compassion.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I'll say that is living proof when I interact with people
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: and they have that depth of self-compassion.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's so obvious.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I walk away in that interaction feeling energized and grounded and just centered.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we've meditated for hours and fasted and,
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: you know, like to have this deep conversation.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it could have been a 30-second interaction at the grocery store,
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: you know, with someone on the bread aisle.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: But just picking up their self-compassion makes me feel better.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's absolutely, if I could heal, that's what I would do, the self-compassion in others.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: So beautiful.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: Because so often, you know, there's that thing where we're our own worst critic.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so true, right?
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like sometimes the harshness we treat ourselves with,
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: we would never treat anyone else like that.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Almost every single person I've worked with says that.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Once I point it out, okay, what do you say to your best friend?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, oh, I say that to my best friend.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: I never say that to myself.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, all right, well, what if we, what if you do both?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Speak that way to your best friend and to yourself.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, Well, that would be easier.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: That would be easier, right?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, it still amazes me.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: It truly does.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: You know,
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: and if people want to come and work with you,
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Laura, or find out more about what you do, where's the best place they can connect?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: So the best place is my website.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: LauraBratten.com has all the resources on speaking, coaching, the book, connecting.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's all there.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: And your book in itself, what was the main message if someone wants to pick up your book?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: What was the main message that you'd hope they receive from it?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: So the main message I hope they receive and the reason I wrote the book is to be
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: a resource that they can learn about the resources of grit and learn about
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: the resources of gratitude as they go through change.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not specifically blindness.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not one type of change.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's any type of change that affects your day-to-day life and you're not going back
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: to the way things were.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: So like I have a whole chapter just on accepting the new normal.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was going to
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: say, I talk about grieving the dream that never was.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly it.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: Because,
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: you know,
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: sometimes we step into relationships or careers and expect it will go for years
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: or years.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's not like you went into life going, yeah, I'm going to become blind.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great goal.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're 100% right.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: My example I normally use is like when you're on your wedding day,
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: when you're saying I do, you don't go five years, I might get divorced.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: That is so true.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: That is so true.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Five years, six months and eight days, right?
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, have it all down.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, amazing.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll make sure to pop all those details on there, Laura.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you so much for sharing your journey and your story,
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: but for truly being an amazing person and living in your grit and gratitude and
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: with self-compassion and teaching others as well.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much for being on the show.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: My honor.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for creating the platform.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: And for anyone tuning in, please feel free to like, share or subscribe.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: And if you want to know more about Laura or read her book,
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: as always, the details are on the show notes.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much for listening.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Willow Healing Matters, the podcast.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: We have so much love and gratitude that you are taking the time out of your day
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: to empower you on your healing journey.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: The views shared by the person being interviewed might not necessarily reflect that
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: of the host and should be used in your own discernment.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Trust what resonates for you and follow your heart and soul guidance.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you have any underlying medical conditions or mental health concerns,
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: This can be found in the show notes.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: Remember to activate, align, heal, empower and find love in everything that you do.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hey beautiful souls,
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: it is Catherine Crestani here and I wanted to have a chat with you about
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: a really amazing cacao that I drink to help me
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: get in ceremony,
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: to help me ground, but also just because it tastes freaking good.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're curious and want to know about drinking something other than coffee
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: or your standard tea, why not check out Creation Cacao?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_02: I love this with a bit of honey and cinnamon sprinkled in and Just letting it brew
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: and having that whole intention as you create this cup.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're curious and want to know more,
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: check out the link in the show notes and
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: enjoy your cup of cacao.