Latest / Sword&Spade / The Way Forward Is the Way Back: Rick Seigmund on Protecting Your Family, Homes, and Craft
Transcript
- speaker-0 (00:00.066) The rate of just just creeper Joe's out there is definitely on the rise on purpose. So while it is not a hair on fire, the sky is falling go to guns at all all hours of the day. You know, I hate paranoid constant, you know, that's that's wrong. And in hitting people over and over with the fear hammer, but awareness. massively necessary. How we teach our kids, how we engage with our kids, how we tell them the why of what we're doing. Why won't you let me have a phone dad? All my friends have phones. Well, because I don't want you to turn into a little pervert. speaker-1 (00:37.71) The speaker-1 (00:42.83) Welcome friends back to the sword and spade podcasts the podcast that grew out of the best men's magazine of all time sword and spade magazine We interview and talk to men that are really in the trenches of doing something and gaining the wisdom that maybe you need some and The tools we use are swords and spades we think that you can boil a man's vocation down to those two tools. One of them is a tool of defense when needed, and one of them is a tool of building, which I would argue is the more important one in our day. But also, apparently we need some swords every now and then. So for that end, we have a guest on here, Rick Siegmund, and I'm gonna actually skip over what probably most people get him on podcasts about, the Family Readiness Project, which we're gonna talk about, because. He's trying to tell some of us that our families might not be ready. And I want to know what he means by that. I'm going to pull up his bio and read it. And I suggest that everyone goes to his website soon before he takes down the hilarious AI generated picture of himself that his friend. He says his friend made, but it's so epic and so AI. And I'm looking at him now on the webcam thinking, yeah, I mean, I see there's, you know, there's. speaker-0 (02:08.238) It's nothing related. speaker-1 (02:10.606) Yeah, he wears glasses. the vest and I mean, it's perfect. The scared children and families below his epic picture. Let me just read the bio. Rick Siegman, a trial tested law enforcement veteran, executive protection specialist and security consultant who spent two decades fighting human trafficking and online threats on the front lines. As a husband, father and a man of real faith, Rick knows the storms families face in today's chaotic world. speaker-0 (02:16.152) are here. speaker-1 (02:39.534) from predators lurking online to cultural pressures threatening our values. That's why he founded the Family Residence Project to empower parents like you, maybe, to secure your family during the toughest times. With hard earned experience and mission, and faith, Rick is your guide to protect, lead, and strengthen your family no matter the challenge. Secure your family during the storms because with FRP, you never learn to fight. That's Family Residence Project. Great bio, but most importantly, just go get the AI picture downloaded before he takes away. Rick, welcome to the Sword and Spade podcast. Is there anything to that bio or the picture you'd like to add that maybe I missed? speaker-0 (03:15.982) The picture has minutes to live after this podcast is done recording. speaker-1 (03:20.366) Come on guys, go! no, too bad it's not. speaker-0 (03:23.048) Well, I think we'll fix it before it even goes live, so I appreciate that. you're gonna screenshot it. Look at you. Put it in the screenshot. Got it. Dirty pool, man. speaker-1 (03:29.132) and speaker-1 (03:38.486) I know we just met, but I need that. I just need to hold speaker-0 (03:40.93) That's awesome. speaker-1 (03:43.022) Rick, anything I missed in your bio? speaker-0 (03:46.51) Kid grew up in Tennessee, youngest of four brothers and, you know, wife, four kids, like God is great, you know, and it covers the basics. You know, there's a lot of details and nuance that in life that nothing like that gets. And it's what you get for hiring somebody to type words out about you on a page, right? Hey. speaker-1 (04:15.182) You got to listen man. If you want to use the matrix, you got to use the rules of the matrix. It's fine. They did apparently. Um, well, I think there's something missing. Um, and I'll, cause I think you actually, this, this was a lot about the swords that you helped keep sharp, but you also, uh, know a lot about the spades craftsmanship. Uh, I'll introduce that by asking you a question. I lived in a hundred year old farmhouse for a while. Uh, and then we have, we have a different farmhouse now. speaker-0 (04:35.598) Thank speaker-1 (04:44.97) and had awesome wood windows that were particular to our area. And I went through great pains to try to put new pains in them and learning glazing and things like that. Was that a mistake? Should I have just torn out the stupid old wood windows? speaker-0 (05:01.646) negative ghost rider, you should never tear out your historic wood windows. They are superior in every way to any replace window that exists. So I also practice historic window preservation and sash making. And I grew up in a woodworking shop. That's what my dad did. We had a mill workshop in Tennessee for years and built custom homes for a long time before I went into law enforcement. And then I've, I got tired of traveling. actually like my wife and my kids and intend to keep them. And so I shut my, security company down a few years back and kind of came back home, so to speak, to woodworking. And I'm a finished carpenter by trade, fancy houses in Nashville, Tennessee, and Southern California and San Diego and Coronado. And up here, North Idaho, where I live, it's like there's some good people up here. then I think nationwide, trades are, construction's just on the floor. know, it's pretty bad spot for craftsmanship. It just doesn't exist. So I came back to historic preservation because windows are kind of the light into a soul of a house, kind of like scripture says, our eyes are to us. You know, and it's true. And some of these houses have windows that are well over a hundred years old. And everything about a historic window is made to maintain, repair and replace. modern windows, there's five modern window manufacturers on the planet, right? For all of them, Marvin, Anderson, and they got their, have in the last 10 years, all five have had their tail sued off. with class action lawsuits against the claims and warranties that they proclaim and they've lost them all. As in all, 100 % because they made it up. They lied, wholesale. speaker-1 (07:08.03) What was the lies? This is fascinating. You live in Coeur d'Alene, right? So I know I visited there. There's a lot of development. I'm pretty sure if I was to guess there's only one window manufacturer and they just make these dumb black windows that go in every cookie cutter white. We built our house a couple years ago. I don't think it's a flavor, man. I think it's such a standard. I don't think it's a fact. I think it we're stuck now. I think Borden, Batten, black windows. I think it's stuck. think it's like you're never going to get rid of Taylor Swift and you're never going to get rid of these women. speaker-0 (07:44.226) may, may God save us. yeah, you may be right in that sense, you know, and it's like, I'm trying to push the envelope the other way, because I can make you a window. And there's other people that can and the thing is, is those windows, the energy efficiencies were an absolute lie. The lies about the single pane wood windows that they have torn out by the millions literally, and just thrown in the dumpster, the speaker-1 (08:08.824) Wait, what are the lies? What are the lies? speaker-0 (08:11.054) They say it's like our windows will save you so incredibly much money except they don't tell you it takes 40 years for the energy efficiency of a dual-pane low E or even a triple-pane crazy European style to recover its cost and they're gonna fail in 12 to 15 years and you're ripping the entire thing out because you cannot maintain them. You cannot replace anything about them. You know, it's a sinking cost forever. You know, it's a self-wicking ice cream cone that'll never go away. And a wood window with a traditional storm window over it is as efficient, if not more efficient, than any modern window. And so it's just this narrative that marketing has won across the United States and the world, and it doesn't have to be that way. speaker-1 (09:06.37) Wow, that's alright. you this is what sword and spade is all about finding the guys that are actually pushing back because if there's you know, you're going to tell us more about creeps on the internet looking for our kids, but there's also people that are just making everything ugly and crappy. love this word and it's it's not appropriate in all settings, but they describe the the air we live in which is this endless ferocious consolidation of products into. You know, so they control the market and then this is the word that it's called, I heard it's great, called in shitification, which is you control. You can if maybe if Joe, if you can look up in the show notes, there's like a journalist who came up with that name and I think he's written a book about it, of course. But it's where you you gain control of the entire market. Everyone else goes away and then you inshittify the thing from. speaker-0 (09:42.509) phrase. speaker-1 (10:00.046) Whether it's a fly swatter or a window or you you just gotta you intentionally make it crappy get it on Amazon and everyone else is gone and then. And everyone can complain about everything so shoddy these days, but when you combine that with the actual loss of craft, we don't know how to make things anymore and fix things it is so now now I know a man who's fighting back in the world of windows. That's so. And I love you. So old window. And this is the other thing that just drives me. I grew up in a drives me crazy. Sorry. I'm bad about finishing sentences, which is not a good thing for podcasting. I grew up in a house. You know, my dad to this day just fixes things. It's just what he does. We just we fix and repair things. And as I got older and I have a family which has, you know, cost money and I'm trying to save money. I want to fix things. And I realize nothing is made to be fixed anymore. It's only made to be replaced. So in what way is a window you're saying like a window is sort of a lifetime investment because I can replace things. I mean fix it. speaker-0 (11:08.302) It is and it also adds to the natural beauty of a home. that's another thing. Homes are literally throwaway homes. The recent building articles are like a modern home with the lessening quality of the products it's made with is honestly, it's made to last 50 to 80 years. And then what are they going to do? they're going to bull that sucker off into a dumpster and do it again. You know, kind of like with everything else. You know, so not not disparaging my fellow tradesmen, you know, and I came out of finished carpentry and it's like doors were actually my thing for years and years, like big, massive custom slab doors. It's like, well, that's an art, but but I didn't build the door. I was hanging the door. was creating, making the jam, mortising locks, mortising hinges, hanging doors. It's like that's an art to itself. But with Windows, I actually had to relearn because I was exposed to it as a kid. but like mortise and tin and joinery, cope and stick rails, learning about lead ends, learning about glazing glass properly and all the things in proper sizing, historic sizing. That's actually a conversation that not even architects are taught. And in classical homes, classical architecture has meaning, has history in these United States as compared to what is being built. you know, willy-nilly by a builder and it's systems that are installed instead of quality products that are built. And that's a serious thing. So your carpenters are just like, and I have, I've installed hundreds and hundreds of modern windows over my career and I repent. But we all have done it. We've all done it. And it takes, you can train a monkey to do that quite literally. It takes zero skill to do that and modern sightings and all that. So I'm really trying to push the entire narrative. There's a great guy in the world named Brent Hull. He's out of Texas, really pushing this narrative of historic homes and reclaiming our history as a country and as a people and building a home much more forever than temporarily. And that's a whole ethos that I completely live with because speaker-0 (13:31.148) You know, the disconnect, the palpable disconnect from what we do and how we live is tangible in all things. And it's a result of modern education and indoctrination. We can get off on all these rabbit trails, but it counts even with where we hang our hat in the afternoon and lay our head at night. And no, man, we need to reclaim our homes and our craft and our lives and have pride in what we do. instead of this just meaningless execution of going through monotony of how to make a living, you know, that everybody is currently involved in. speaker-1 (14:11.33) Yeah, that's my my passion is. Yeah, I mean, I've been dealing in this like men stuff world and we got a magazine, you know, and fraternist, all these different things, and they're all awesome. And I think what are what are the men really trying to reclaim? And I think one is that our homes are actually meant to be productive places. They're places of work and craft within themselves. They're not merely. And I think this was a big loss that people don't. Talk about, which is. The nature of the home as God intended it is that it's a productive working place and that the nature of the modern home. So let's just picture the cookie cutter. The disposable home is consumption. You go home to consume things and now to think about the home itself as a product of consumption of you know, the throwaway culture is should be really startling to us because it was actually a man in construction. He works for a great company, but like they have to work. It's the very big construction company does big. commercial jobs, they have to work within the economic reality and so they're in it. But he said, I, you know, one, these big corporations, big companies that big that build these developments, build this, they are absolutely thinking about architecture, disposably, they are prepared and willing to overpay for a little piece of land and put up a building that they are well aware will need to be bulldozed before, you know, a generation. And he went to Spain. And he was with people where they don't know when their house was built. this how many homes were over 100 years. And I'm tying this back to this Congress. had a man here who's basically he's trying to revive this Georgian as in from the country Georgia, not the state tradition of men gathering to have these toasts is called a super dinner. And he gets this question of How do we have a culture like this? And the answer is, well, you have to start a village and live there for 300 years. And I think there is a deep sickness when our homes become one disposable, but also the way they fit and even in like Christian circles, the way they fit in our economic imagination is just matters of flipping an investment and not permanence. So you're, you're a little tirade right there. You're monologue on speaker-1 (16:39.658) making our homes permanent again. think actually the craftsmanship in the home and I'm picturing my own house. I got those crappy windows man and they're absolutely crappy windows. I don't know what I'm gonna do about it. speaker-0 (16:50.55) you. I'll come to Asheville and help. know, homes should be generational and they used to be, you know. Homes in America used to be generational. Go to the East Coast and you'll encounter homes that have been passed down generationally and they were made to, you know, and everybody has this ideology that all things modern are superior and I'm here to tell you that is a lie. That is a bold-faced lie. You know, it's kind of like classical education. I learned about classical education late in life. We homescarr kids classically. And when I wrap my skull around what classical education is, it hit me like a stone from the sky. just like we have lost so much, right? Just fundamentally, we've lost so much in our processes. the thing I've said repeatedly like the last six months, specifically is the way forward is the way back. You know, it's kind of reclaiming everything that your magazine, this podcast is all about reclaiming the way we were intended to be. And that affects everything, you know, the family, the home, craft, culture, vocation, how we raise our children, how we educate our children and continue to educate ourselves through our lives, how we protect one another. how we think about our communities. It's the way forward. Instead of being perpetually transient and temporary in our thought process, let's go back to generational thinking. It'll solve a lot. speaker-1 (18:27.118) I think, you're just, you also have some more wisdom you didn't point out there. It's, or I'll point out, that's my job. I'm the host. we want, people say I would like to recover, right? This like, for example, vibrant Christian culture that I live in. Well, one, it has to be generational. You have this, this is what I, this has been, you know, my, there's a thing in the last six months, it's just blowing my, I think we can't keep sending our kids away from our communities and, indoctrinating them from the very beginning that success equals that you leave behind the very things that I told you were important in life, which is family and neighbor. You know, you have to leave those behind to be successful. But the other thing as far as what are we going to do to do that? A lot of people's solution is basically co branding. We're going to wear the same t-shirts and consume the same brands and be co-religionist. But it really the simplest way for a man to wrap his mind, what do want me to do? Because that's what a man's like. All right, I hear this esoteric, you know, podcasters. What want me to do? I want you to make stuff. If you are making stuff, that is what culture is. Making a meal, right? Making a fence, making a garden, because God puts us in the garden to put us to work. If we want to recover this idea of having a culture that is the right ecosystem for a healthy family, well, we make stuff, make music, we make love. speaker-0 (19:53.738) Okay, so I'm now going to throw out one of my favorite quotes. speaker-1 (19:58.358) I you put your glasses on, I got ready. speaker-0 (20:00.046) It is I gotta I gotta be able to see something speaker-1 (20:03.074) You the AI snippet that I have doesn't have glasses. That man seems to be... speaker-0 (20:09.55) Superior in many ways. speaker-1 (20:11.409) wait no he's wearing glasses, I'm sorry I said that at beginning. No he's very, he's just rocking the glasses actually. speaker-0 (20:17.71) That's funny. So I found this quote in a Mark Ripito book, Starting Strength. I started doing powerlifting about a year ago and started reading stuff. And he got this quote from this guy, Robert A. Heinlein, and I have loved it ever since I found it. And it says, human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, con a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall. set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. And spot on, man. speaker-1 (21:05.728) But specialization is for insects. speaker-0 (21:08.98) right, men are made to be very capable in all levels, you know, and, and we are in it's this, this concept in this honest pride, it's like, well, I'm educated in this lane, or I have done this specific kind of service, right? Cops can only cop, you know, operators can only operate. And it's like, that's, that's just another lie that I think we really need to buck. And it's like, as men, you go through different stages in life, you go through different seasons in life. And it's absolutely good and appropriate to be able to engage with every single one of them well into a high level. And it's a concept that we really need to really push back against the machine. speaker-1 (21:58.508) We did a yeah, we use that word around here. The machine. I like that the because the mission, you know, we just did a issue on death and it's the one thing the machine can't do is die, die to itself because it was never alive. It can't love you. Yeah. But we did an issue on competency a while back. And, you know, that's just what you actually to the way God made us. we slowly are gaining the ability to do things. And then that mirrors the maturity of our life, the inner life of man, his soul and virtue. And everything you learn, I found this with my sons as they learn things. When you learn how to do something, every practical skill compounds your competency. Because if you learn how to frame a wall, well, the principles and concepts of building a fence brace. right to stretch a fence on a farm. It's going to be there's gonna be some similarities there. All right, Rick, if there was one thing I need to do to make my house better, because by the way, I did. I only have a home that I have because my father helped me build it. We built it together and he he was in construction like his whole life and he called in. We did. We cleared the land. We did the excavation for the basement. did the septic. We did the plumbing. We did the electrical. He called in favors for the trim, the concrete. So the only thing we didn't do was the framing. Actually, we started the framing on the basement and then the framers came and tore down my wall and started over. So I'll tell you something about my framing. So I love my home. We built like we know it and the kids know it from the inside out, you know, where where the the problems are. I say the problems because we ran out of money at the end. the paint and the floor and all that was the cheapest we could afford. But we built it. what's the what? Give me a couple of things I need to do to make my house forever. speaker-0 (24:00.686) determined it's going to be your forever home. That's number one. know, when people buy a home, don't buy cheap, know, just save or buy something that's going to be a forever home. I believe in generational living as well. That's a whole side topic to jump off a cliff on. But that's how families used to do it. I think that's a good way to go. speaker-1 (24:23.254) I think it's the only way to do it now with the expensive houses. mean, the only reason we have a farm too is because my dad lives here with us. So we've got to compound our generational, you know, resources. speaker-0 (24:34.19) Well, in Europe, in early America, they built with stone and big timbers and it was literally, this is forever, right? And that's how they think about it. houses in Europe and Britain and all that stuff, they last for 500 years or longer. And that's a fact. So the first thing is a mindset shift of instead of, I'm buying a starter home. It's like, no, you're not. Don't. buy or build something small, well-built and with very good architecture and add onto it or keep going with it. Whatever. That's a different conversation, but build. I've got a sticker on the back of my Land Cruiser. says build forever. Build forever. Right? Not just forever, but build for eternities, the concept. And that's a good one. So insulate your house, make it beautiful. That's another thing. like we, my bedroom's plain Jane. Everybody can see it back here. This is where my temporary office is. I'm, we're about to rip into this poor house and I'm going to get after it and make it mine. And where we live and it's, it's going to be a true Krasen style, you know, cause that's what my wife and I've decided on. And it's going to have a lot of wood and it's going to, I'm, baking a hobbit. I'm creating a hobbit house in North Idaho. That's what I'm going to live in. Unapologetically at that. Come on now, you know. speaker-1 (26:04.918) I had a, we had a guest on Ross Teakin, who's an author and I asked him, you know, what do we need to do? he, he, he related this to, oops, see, I finish my sentence. I asked him, what do we need to do to make our, lives, our households as fathers, you know, more beautiful, more what he was talking about, which was this whole thing about imagination. You said hobby, he's a Tolkien guy. And he said, you know, get rid of everything that I, to use our other word that's been in shitified. So If you don't like doing dishes, it's probably because your dishes are ugly, right? No one likes to wash plastic dishes. And I had this experience to relate what you just said. When we finished our house, we were out of money, so we bought the cheapest, you know, floating floor crap that like we could find. And it was literally within eight months. You know, if we had a rocking chair on top of it, well, now the subfloor is showing. I mean, it was just so bad and. But I didn't have an option. We just didn't have the money to do something. We had visions that we were going to get a sawmill and cut down some trees from the prime. But then I was at the thrift store and there was a brand new pallet of three quarter inch hardwood walnut pre-finished hardwood floor at the thrift store. And they had the square footage on it. I called my wife and it was the exact square footage of basically the main part of her home. you know, I got the boys started and my sons finished it. put it all in there. I got the first rows because you got to get those right. Then they got the hang of it. Now they're snobs everywhere they go. Look at the gaps in this floor. This is ridiculous. speaker-0 (27:39.288) look look look look look look look speaker-1 (27:41.176) transformed you walk in my home now. And then you know we did a nice tile in the foyer and I love my house more this is back I need to not have the efficient cheap floors. I mean it did something to our home I guess is what I'm saying like we that that's beautiful and it's not just that we could pay for it because actually we couldn't have done this but we built it we were able to do it because it was thrifty and then we did the work and now we we love it all the more. speaker-0 (28:11.79) And you just articulated it better than I ever could. And that's the point. have, you said it right, have beautiful dishes. One of my nieces takes pride in going to a thrift store and buys these wildly different, different plates and cups and dishes. And you go sit down at her table, which my brother, her father made for her beautifully. And it's just this cacophony of lovely different dishes, you know, and it's just like, that's her style, but it's good. And it's like, it's very, It's very eclectic, but very on purpose and nothing in her house is ugly. And it's just like, that's a great way to be. So make your home something honorable and good and beautiful to come home to. And therefore you'll want to spend more time there. You'll want to invest in it. You'll want to maintain it. And that's another thing. Get out of this disgusting mindset of like, it's got to be no maintenance. Well, there's no such thing as no maintenance. And I'm here to tell you, I... I have installed tons of ASAC, polyvinyl chloride exterior siding and the new decking and stuff. 100 % of that gets to be torn up and thrown away at some point because it fails. There's stuff that's made from what? the things that God made, wood and trees that literally last for hundreds if not thousands of years. Does it require maintenance? Sure does. But when you maintain a thing, you see what's going on with it. You take pride in it. You love it. Care for it. Just like your wife, your kids, your family, your friendships. We're made to work and to build to be productive. And that's this mindset. It's good to repaint your house every few years. It really is. There's no issue with that. It's not drudgery. So let's come back to you taking care of things that can be eternal. speaker-1 (30:06.894) But the, the, you're right. The marketing though is, um, the low to no maintenance, which it's like, all right, let's just, you know, do I want a low maintenance wife? No, wives are high maintenance. Wives are high maintenance, know, depending on the court and the act of maintaining my wife. Um, I'm sure this is a word she would not love, but I don't think she listens to the podcast as is it's actually. That's the art and the act of love itself, right? I'm taking care of this thing and that's I read this great book about what community is father Thomas du Bay and he was trying to recast because words become meaningless to us like love your neighbor becomes like, yeah, I waved to him today when I and he translated it to take care of your neighbor. You know, so when you talk about your house like take care of it and I don't. Of course you're going to have to do the work. What else are you going to do? That's you were you were put in a garden. to work. This has been my constant reflection on like God putting Adam in the garden. God had made the garden. It was already good. Yet it needed some work and that was Adam's job. Adam's job was to bring to till and keep which is to work it and preserve it. Keep is preserving right when you love something you use it and maintain it at the same time. It's better for its use. And to the point of houses, I cannot believe where I live. It's so sad. My neighbor, great guy, moved across the street, started a butcher shop, and he had to tear down this just beautiful, I mean, all I can call is a mansion. And we would go inside of it and every detail of it, just the trim, the millwork, the stone that the foundation was built on, the cellar, the beadboard. I mean, there was no drywall. Everything was beadboard or panels. But somebody had moved out it became an investment property. The roof was never fixed You know the kudzu got in the rock got in and there was no saving it and I we just drove up near Fletcher and we're looking and there was literally this poor home old stone home just beautiful beautiful home surrounded by a development of crappy homes and the stone home had a big hole in the middle of the roof and you just is it was just rotting so we're letting these things right speaker-1 (32:30.412) So people don't want to take care of the old stuff, which is just like our society. We throw our old people away and just keep starting over with these low, no maintenance. All right. So your tips are build stuff and take care of it. That's what a man's job because to your, your, your niece has the, we think of beautify your home as again, just in consumer, just purchase stuff. No, beautify your home with work. It's more than a theme. speaker-0 (32:56.662) Yeah, I went to Fight Club where Ed Norton's character, like his apartment was perfect and he'd like, he literally curated everything to be homogenistic, homogenistically the same. And it was just this freaking dead soulless plastic looking place, you know, and it's, that's a caricature of modern life. You know, everything's got to be shiny and pretty and It's really interesting. I follow these British preservation guys. Some of them work in the palace. When old ancient tile or marble cracks, they don't replace it. They take care of it, man. It's a very different look. like, no, that was laid by such and such 480 years ago. That gets to stay. This is a table. This table has got some water damage. They don't, they don't know the surface down until you can like shave it. You know, it's like, it's got cuff link marks and you know, all this just patina from the ages. And that's a, that's a point of pride. You know, it's like, if you've ever been to somebody's ancient freaking garden with an old garden fence around it, and there's like hand rubs on the handrail where they push the gate open. That's like, you want to get rid of that? Really? So it's just this entirely 180 degree way of looking at all things in life. It's like, we can do better, man. Go pick up a saw and jack up a piece of wood by learning how to cut it. That's another thing. Failure is not fatal. Churchill was right as far as war, but as far as craft, that's how we learn. Go mess up some pieces of wood. My dad taught me how to cut stair stringers. on sheet of paper. My dad had a fourth grade education, but he could outrun an architectural calculator. I've seen him do it with a notepad and do trigonometry freehand and tell the architect what answer he needs. anyway. speaker-1 (35:05.289) That's You know what happened on my farm today? I had cut down a cedar tree and split it into two big beams and I had no idea what I was gonna do with these things. Actually, I didn't split it. So one kid cut it down and I was like, a big, cause it was weird moving some trees. Hey, a big long piece of cedar. was like 20 feet long. It was cool. It's awesome. we then one of my kids found a, you know, some of these little splitting wedges and split it. So the other kid that kind of say you split my log. I'm like, you didn't know what you're going to do with that log. Now we got, look, now we have these two big, we're going to do something cool with these. And I'm passing by where these things are all the time because they're where I'm leaving them out in the weather and probably not doing the right thing. Take care of it. And today I walk on the porch and my son, it's kind of a day off from homeschooling and, he had made a bow. man, check out that bow. That looks cool. He made his bow and it was in. And I go out, I'm like, what you cut the cedar thing. And so he had cut it into these little sections. Now we'll never have that cedar back. So talk about failure. He's I still haven't thought of his punishment yet, but he's he's a he's a gun maker. He makes muzzle loaders, these old school muzzle loader guns. I'm like, son, you know the value of a piece of wood that can't be made into anything else. Now you got 10. But anyway, I'm not going to throw him under the bus. He's a great kid. I'm that's his. speaker-0 (36:21.122) doing. speaker-1 (36:22.114) He is doing something. He's always doing something. speaker-0 (36:23.662) Yeah, at least he wasn't on Fortnite for 14 hours. speaker-1 (36:28.012) We had a guy, I'm sitting, the studio I'm in is one of these cheapo pop-up, it's sad, I had a hundred year old barn burned down, got my insurance money, did the math, we have a little dairy farm, so we got one of these cheapo pop-up metal barns, and the crew that came to pick it up was, they were so fascinated with my family, and the number one thing that fascinated them is that they had no idea what Fortnite was, they just could not grasp. speaker-0 (36:54.7) What a Great. speaker-1 (36:56.93) We gotta make a shift, man. This was not, this is not why somebody said I should have you on. I'm so glad though, because we're going to shift now to like protecting our families from danger. I, I, I have some trouble and I was thinking, I hope this isn't Rick. I do have some trouble where the entire ethos of the way the world is seen is, just like alpha male over everybody else. and sort of this constant, I'm a badass and everyone else should look and I'm ready because one, think it if the entire if your lens of seeing the whole world is my domination of my ability to dominate them. I just don't see how you can inculcate the gospel into your imagination because that's that's just not the gospel. But also because I think the. What you just described, think between the sword and the spade, I just think we're in the air of the spade. We've got to be building. We're in a time, everything's already been destroyed. We have to rebuild. But we're fathers, we're men, and there are things in our care that we care about and have taken care of, and we would like them to be safe. So tell me how a craftsman like yourself who's defending wood windows also has helped people be prepared for danger. speaker-0 (38:22.798) So what you just stated about the bro alpha male caricature that's alive and well, it's like that has heavy-handedly invaded our law enforcement, our military, our service guys. And it's like that Tell Valhalla, that very pagan ideology that they all pursue. it's just like, it's sad and it's wild because I've got a bunch of friends who are former pipe hitter, door kicker guys, and they have come to faith. You know, and they really have repented from that entire mindset. It's very... And so the point with that is like, you know, normal humans look at those guys like, oh, they're the ultimate, they're great warriors. It's like, I must do everything to emulate that, you know, and it's like, I call those guys holster sniffers. It's like, it's not bad to want to be more than what we are, know, but it's like... speaker-1 (39:16.556) That's funny, sorry, keep going. speaker-0 (39:20.852) got a badge and a gun. I want to be like that. It's like, whatever. I gave my badge up, never gave up my gun. the whole thing is we've got to reclaim who we are and that is such a finite slice of the pie. You're missing everything that's before you as a result. You asked a very specific question. I want to come back to it. You asked me how within that. speaker-1 (39:53.324) Yeah, how did a man who has, I would say, the ethos of, you know, St. Joseph and Jesus in the workshop find his way into the necessary world of protecting and defending the vulnerable? speaker-0 (40:07.798) outstanding because that's what we're to do. That's normal part of life. It's like that Heinlein quote I just read. We're not to only just be these, know, great ape, you know, beast guys walking around looking for other humans to smash. We're to be that loving father. Years ago, a great martial arts instructor of mine said a good martial arts instructor is like a stern but loving father. And it's like that always stuck with me pretty well, you know, and it's like that's a good picture because it's like a father, it's like a father teaches, a father guides, a father loves, you know, a father also defends, you know, and here's where we got to. We're talking about law enforcement and all this other stuff. And as a society, have, by default, by indoctrination, we have given all of our mantle of responsibility to others. We've given the teaching and the education department, the governance over our children in that department. We've given the protection of us over to our law enforcement and our, you know, the proverbial powers that be. And we've completely abandoned the authority that God gave us as men and fathers to handle all these things. And for some people it's like, my gosh, that's overwhelming. I can't do all that. It's like, but you must, you know, men walk straighter with a bit of a load on them. And we need to reclaim that authority over our families. you know, single-handedly. God, our family, that's the order of go, know, then our community. So as fathers, we really need to look and take ownership for our home and what's going on in our home, where our children are going, who they're spending time with, what they're seeing all the time, what they're listening to, you know. And it's like, I don't want to be an odor control freak, but I want to lead my family well because speaker-0 (42:17.262) You know, our sons and daughters are going to swiftly become men and women that we release to the world. And most people either concede them to somebody else to give, to prepare them for that, which they're not. Or they just kind of advocate that responsibility completely and hope it works out for the best. You know, it's like, oh, you're 18. Good luck. You know, I think, I speaker-1 (42:40.462) Your fatherhood image is really good when you talk about the balancing of You know people say I don't want to be overbearing or controlling but I want to lead I find if you can maintain trust communication love and authority Throughout the what happens when you try to control usually happens after the mistake has been made Which is I handed them the phone or the device without any parameters or any guidance or any care. I handed it to him. Now there's a disorder and I'm trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube and you sort of and at that I think that's the way to think about it as you just said it's helpful. actually for a while abdicated my care for them and I allowed for example an influencer. I allowed him into my home to have influence over my son and now he's following the influencer instead of me. In that moment, I abdicated my leadership, which I think if you maintain your leadership, meaning you're next to him, you're guiding him, you're loving him, you're never if you're staying with him and walking with him in life the way a father does, you're not controlling his life. It's usually when you've already allowed someone else to take not not as if you're everything. You can't. You're not God. You're not the community. You're not their mother. You're just their father. But you're just their father, too. So you can do. what a father does. anyway, I think a lot of people have a hard time about being controlling. It's like, no, just don't. I think the way you said it's helpful. Don't abdicate and then later try to come take back a responsibility that was always yours and you let it go. And then it's, but at the same time recognize when they need defense, you need to come in and you actually do need to take control of the situation. So that's helpful. So tell me about, um, though you, you in, in your experience with law enforcement, the thing that seems to have inspired the family readiness project is recognizing in our modern day and age there is a particular danger for young people. are there specific, is there like a specific story that made you realize why we, a lot of men aren't ready for this. What is the this and what is the way we need to be ready? speaker-0 (45:00.014) Families in general. on the federal side, my thing was human trafficking, childhood predation, sexual predation. know, it was like that was a big thing that we fought, you know, front center. And then when I transitioned out of law enforcement, I started my company. We started consulting for health care of all places. My wife's an RN and health care is like abandoned. by the security industry. It's either abandoned or it's like the big scare hammer comes out. It's boom, boom, scare the snot out of you. And it's like, well, that's not helpful. That does not breed good change. So we started doing consulting, teaching a lot of active shooter, active killer, then HR people were like, oh, can you teach us how to deescalate? Yes, can. So you get back into the weeds with them on the specific things that happen. Healthcare, 100 % the most the highest rate of workplace violence that exists compared to everything else put together, including law enforcement. Nothing comes close to healthcare as a single demographic for daily workplace violence. They get everything. And people have no idea. No. yeah. speaker-1 (46:12.152) Just, I mean, just patience in there. speaker-0 (46:13.774) Local clinics, patient families, providers, nurses, boyfriends, everything under the sun happens under the mantle of healthcare, as well as childhood predation. it's like people start grooming involves an entire family, not just a kid. Groomers take time. They are patient. They're very, very thoughtful. on how they approach things and what they do. They put themselves in positions of either authority or influence on purpose for you and your whole family. And the number one thing groomers say that we have caught and prosecuted, which is a tragically small number, is what is the number one thing that makes you avoid a child? And he's like, an engaged and aware father. If that exists, I just move on. Simple as that. speaker-1 (47:06.958) Hmm. speaker-0 (47:10.99) You know and but engaged and aware right not and they talk about they talk about the disconnected dad or the absent dad that the workaholic dad and all these other things. man, that's that's a that's an entryway. That's a challenge to them. They're proud of it, you know speaker-1 (47:29.464) So they recognize. right. So so if we know that men, part of their post is to is to be. Just having the presence that pushes a predator away, pushes a groomer away. Then the greatest danger we face, you're saying, is just men not doing that, just. Being absent of that post. speaker-0 (47:53.194) Yeah, being absent, like, you know, our culture also overtly, it's like, you know, if you're not working, you're having fun. You know, it's like, that's the only thing and, and, and wife and family, not not with this group that we're talking to clearly, but overarching your neighbors, your the people that your kids go to school with their parents, it's like, you know, too many times children are a burden or just like, yet another thing I've got to deal with. It's like, I'm not saying moms and dads don't love their kids, but it's just a single part of things instead of the focus of things. I just said it, I shut my security company down because I actually like my wife and my children. I was traveling incessantly. For what I was trying to build, that's what you have to do. I came to a point where it's like, I'm a hypocrite. I would come home and my seven-year-old son would just see me and burst into tears. He missed me so bad. That a couple of times. It's like, that's a big crap sandwich for a dad to eat. speaker-1 (48:57.996) Yeah, I think one of the best decisions I ever made for a long time, I was being asked to travel stuff and so not to try not to make this sound like boasting, but I'm looking back thinking there was a season for this where I said, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just not going anywhere. And now we're in a season where I can. It actually has to do with our farm. I can travel and but now I'm taking kids with me on trips and yeah, I think there's a season and a time and I think recognizing It's for men like it is for women. You can't have it all and do everything and get distracted and be just the absolute primary. Have your absolute primary vocation be, I'm a father. I don't have to be anything else besides a good father. The world is telling us to be all sorts of other things and achieve all sorts of other things. I don't have to do anything else to be happy, successful and enjoy their company in heaven. than just to be a good father. I don't have to do anything else. speaker-0 (49:57.866) Amen. And that's exactly it. And I'll tell you what, it's the investment that you'll never regret. speaker-1 (50:03.584) Okay, so, but you came back home, you came back home, you're investing back in your family, but you are, you're taking with you the knowledge of what your work was doing, that there is danger out there. I'd be interested to know like how, you know, do you see, did it, is there a, I to be careful with this question, is there a way that we can both exaggerate the threat and danger where we live out? and sort of a fear based thing is that we can exaggerate that and we can on the other end of it be completely naive and ignorant and it's being exposing ourselves to danger. So let's take one question at a time. Is there a way to exaggerate this? Like how big is this problem that are that are and what what's the sort of again that this thing that the fear that you know is out there the danger you know is out there that we need to be aware of as fathers. speaker-0 (50:54.05) Both are true at the same time. So dealing with your first question, is the danger imminent and at your door every second? No, it's not. But what has literally hockey stick is the, I'm gonna hold my phone up, little example. The online manipulation, targeting and predation of children is astronomical and growing by predators, by groups out there, the 765. for group and many others that are like them is, you know, it's like, well, we give our kids these devices, we, we let them on Xbox or whatever, you know, to play on these games. It's like, it's weird. I was, I imagine X guy, you know, it's like, was like, it's kids games, nothing can harm them there. Well, that was true when I grew up, you know, it's like, you know, space invaders, it's like, nobody's predating me on space invaders. Gallagher and all that stuff, but we're in a completely different world. And so the awareness and the ability to engage, even out in public, there's the rate of just creeper joes out there is definitely on the rise on purpose. So while it is not a hair on fire, the sky is falling, go to guns at all hours of the day, I hate paranoid constants. You know, that's that's wrong. And in hitting people over and over with the fear hammer, but awareness is massively necessary. How we teach our kids how we engage with our kids, how we tell them the why of what we're doing. Why won't you let me have a phone dad? All my friends have phones. Well, because I don't want you to turn into a little pervert. Simple as that. speaker-1 (52:42.712) Yeah, we I took my sons aside the other day because we don't do a lot of we don't do any video games and I know some some people bounce that out with well we have we do a certain amount of time I do it with them or because that's is true one the video games used to be video games now they're Social networks and you're you're playing with people that are communicating all over the world. It's a way people are both groomed and But also I don't know brainwashed, but I said I said guys, do you know why because these video games? Because we were watching a sports game, had an advertisement for a game that's like a jet fighter or something. I like, I can tell you something, that game is so much fun. I bet if we bought that game, I bet you within three days we would be obsessed about beating it. Because I'm 84, born in 84, not quite Gen X, but not truly millennial, it's a weird era. I said those games were fun, man. The producers, know what they're doing. It's a story, it's art, it's engaging. And if we get it, I'm just saying, if we get it, we're gonna stop doing the things that we love and we know we ought to be doing now. So it's like, it's one thing we just, we show them. So being able to explain why you're not doing this is good, but your angle that there's dangers out there, it's, when I talk to young men, they're like, yeah, but like, I know what to look for. Like, I'm okay on it. speaker-0 (54:07.502) Do they? Yeah, that's the question. But that's the question. Do you do you know? Like I've been told my superpowers how to make people feel the worst possible way right after I meet them. Because like I'll I'll meet up with a group of dads like you got kids you're into fly fishing, you're into all this stuff and all engaged with and it's like, you know, how how many kids you got? How are their ages? Well, I'm like, I know exactly who's targeting your children. You know, it's like I've had guys who are like former SF guys like I want to slice your throat. You you made me so mad. Like, who are you talking about? You know, but that's the point. It needs a bit of a wake up call and we take things for granted that, okay, you might know it. That's cool. You're awesome. Are you teaching your children that? You know, not to make them scared, not in a way to make them like quiver behind the door and never want to leave. Because here's my thought, I said it earlier, our sons and daughters are going to be... men and women that we release to the world. So are you preparing them to be out on their own? You know, amongst all this, because it's a fact of life, they're going to and it's going to happen quicker than we even want them to. So I want my daughters to understand clearly, it's like there are guys out there and young men who do not have your best interests in mind. And this is what that looks like. And it will be completely appropriate not you know, not bad in any way, but they need to have some wisdom that we are given so that they can navigate these things, so that they can recognize these things, you know, is somebody trying to get you away from your group of friends, is somebody trying to separate you from us and your family. The number one thing is if anybody tells you to keep a secret from your mom and dad, that is the immediate, immense moment that you will come and tell us who they are, what they're trying to keep from you. And here's the thing. speaker-0 (56:05.89) Their parents, so the EP world, the executive protection world, those people have way more money. I have protected some famous people. I have been around them and their families and their kids and the parameters they put on their children are wildly different than the normal population. Their kids don't walk around with tablets and phones and all this other stuff. And they're the people who developed it and owned the companies. And it's like, hmm. speaker-1 (56:33.186) Yeah, I wonder why. speaker-0 (56:35.142) Huh. Well, it's fascinating, but it's true. And they send them to schools where it's books, pens, pencils, and paper. So coming back to where I was going with this, it's like they put parameters on their children because they implicitly understand the technology and what happens within there. So we as normal, I'm a normal knuckle-draggers just like everybody else out there. But I need to set my sons and daughters up for success. And they need to trust me when they come to tell me something that I'm not going to hammer them for telling me that. Yeah. Right. speaker-1 (57:13.472) Yeah, that's a huge thing. man, I had a friend. So as a father, the way we communicate with our sons, if you're not maintaining trust. and communication during those years, during those years, basically when they're during their rite of passage, during their becoming a man, if you don't maintain, if they can't come to you, you have done something terribly wrong and dangerous for his soul and yours. Just say it. Because I had a friend, I bring up this story, it really changed me. He, you know, he had a group of guys that came out to get to his son and said, hey, come on, sneak out with us. You know, it was like 3 a.m. or something. They're out, you know, just doing the dumb stuff that happens at 3 a.m. and sneak out. They all snuck away. Yeah, tip the cows. They snuck away from their family and they wanted him to come with him. his answer, and he told his dad in the morning, hey, this is what happened because he had a trusting relationship. He why would I squander the trust that my father and I built up with each other? speaker-0 (58:19.074) That I got a young man. speaker-1 (58:22.188) That is what you want with your sons. But at the same time, mean, in sort of the work I've been a part of, I'm blown away at how many young men I've been able to talk to, like with their, they're really struggling there and with the whatever, name it. Have you talked to your dad about that? I can't talk to him about that. It's like, man, dads, you've got to be there. And that's where when your son is becoming a man, you've got to make the bridge from catching him doing stuff bad to like being there to help him through hard stuff. You've got to make that transition and your discipline style, your communication style with him. Cause if you keep just hammering him like he's a toddler, well then he's either going to act like a toddler or he's going to just drift away from you. speaker-0 (59:06.498) Let me help somebody out right now. If that is you that we've just described, repent. I'm not kidding, repent. then determine, I do not want to be like this. And then go and apologize to your wife and to your children and say, I am a work in progress, but I will promise you, I want to regain your trust and I will work on this from here till you're throwing dirt on. And that's a serious thing. couldn't trust my father telling things. I got the hammer. And so as a man, as a father, like I determined to, and through, it's interesting through reading, it's like I learned what a good father is. I determined it's like, that's what I want to be for my sons and daughters. And it's hard. It's not easy. Simple, but it's not easy. But that's exactly it, man. The story you just told about the kid. you know, his friends tempting us like, man, that's what you want. Because here's the two options. Your kids will either lie to you or they will tell you the truth. Your choice, your choice on how you want to run with that. speaker-1 (01:00:15.98) Yeah, I've been stuck in awkward situations where I'm like, I know that this kid's lying to his father and his father's buying it and actually they're at a peace about it. You know, well, you know, kids like, man, I can't think of anything worse. And I think of I think it's actually an essential immaturity in the sun and maybe even in the father, because it's Saint it was Saint Basil the Great who pointed out something that. I don't edit out of the podcast right now that my son is whizzing by on a dirt bike, even though he knows I'm recording right now. But he said children learn how to lie. It's children that when you learn how to lie, it's when you're a child and it's to escape the eyes of your father, just like Adam wanted to hide, you know, from God and that it doesn't, you know, the father, if you're out there, let's say you think that means, well, you got to be coddley and all this stuff. No, no, it just means speaker-0 (01:00:48.75) It should be. speaker-1 (01:01:10.488) There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work to maintain a stern, fatherly, but loving and trustworthy. And that's the word. The word is trust. To be able to speaker-0 (01:01:21.39) Kids thrive under healthy boundaries. do better knowing the parameters that you're setting for them. But they also have to understand why. It's because I love them. There's a difference between using that word love as a control factor though. I've seen that many, many times on the other side. It's like, I'm the father, they're going to do what I say. I'm thinking of a couple guys right now, that's how their home operates. it's it's palpable. It's not good. Yeah. It's not good. You know, your kids are hiding everything in the world behind your back just because of their fear of you. And you've put up such a facade, you know, thinking that you're controlling everything. It's like, well, I'm going to do things my way. It's like, well, you know, your way kind of sucks. Because here's the fruit, you know, here's the fruit of what you're getting. It's like you've created a situation where your sons and daughters don't trust you. speaker-1 (01:01:52.75) Thanks speaker-1 (01:02:11.022) Yeah. speaker-0 (01:02:20.706) You know, because here's the thing I had a buddy of mine tell me it's like I told my son this forever. He's like, there's going to come a time in your life when you're an adult, where somebody is going to come to me and tell me a thing about you. And you're going to come and tell me what they're saying is a lie. And if I can't trust you, you're in serious trouble. Right? Because there's consequences to our actions, our words, our thoughts, the work of our hands, our life. And speaker-1 (01:02:39.95) Yeah. speaker-0 (01:02:50.426) You know, that's the single thing, you know, it's like we have to trust in God and everything that he says, so we do. That's faith. In the same way he made us as fathers to have the same mantle of responsibility and authority over our homes, know, circling back to that. And it's like we must regain that, even in the small things, you know, if you're not in a household where you can do that or where you have not done that yet. start small, apologize, repent, but then set a standard. It's like, that's the same standard you're going to uphold. You know, don't be a hypocrite. Yeah. speaker-1 (01:03:28.992) So creating that rule of life that you're living with your sons, right? When I think this is this is my bag the Reframing the formation education of our sons as initiation into manhood and that really kicks into gear You know between 12 and 18 It's when a boy is ought to be being formed when he is being formed into a man And for him to do that, you don't tell him what to do. You bring him into what you're doing So you're doing it and then you bring him in as a trustworthy guide into that way of life and he joins you. He joins you and he joins your brothers and that's how he lives. That's a hard thing. It sounds really good. We know it's hard because what's fascinating is I asked you how to protect your family and you gave us the obvious thing the devices. There's there's weirdos and perverts on the devices. But then the presence and the trustworthiness in the trusting relationship of the father we have to we're sending them back into the relationship with their son. Which is a lot of us dads know, can I have the life hack? Can I have the program? Can I have the parameters? Can I have the formula? you're like, no, you gotta go back and love them. That being said, can you, yeah, give us, I mean, what are the practical, how am I gonna be, what am I not ready for potentially as a father in the dangers that I don't even understand are out there? speaker-0 (01:04:52.224) Okay. Online connected everything, you know, honestly, man, kill this kill this dear. Okay, my what my son's 13. We're starting to go on date nights and let our kids just be at home. Right? That's cool. So we're going to have a family phone that we deploy. When we're going on a date night, it's going to be a stupid phone, it can text and do a phone call. And that's that. speaker-1 (01:04:54.583) question. speaker-0 (01:05:21.742) I'm not going to have the world on their fingertips. Do we allow our children on a computer on a device when we're doing very few certain things? Sure we do. Because in the same instance, it's like, they're going to someday. They need to know how to use these bloody things. So let's incorporate a bit of it, but let's not let them just live there. What's out there? The current things are Minecraft, Roblox. Fortnite, all these things where everybody comes together and is like, there are 30, 40 year old dudes who are pretending to be 10, 11, 12 year old girls, just to rope your sons and daughters into chats and like gain their trust, pretend to be a kid. then like, know, a tactic for an example is like, oh my, they will say the bad guy. my mom and dad grounded me. Your kids like you. You ever been grounded? Yeah, my mom and dad grounded me a weeks ago. They'll gain trust, right? It's like, hey, want to see a picture of me and they'll send a fake pic. It's like, and it might be a little bit risque. Might be. Right? It's like, hey, I'd like to see a picture of you. It's like so the child will send one. And then they have them. speaker-1 (01:06:38.766) Hmm. speaker-0 (01:06:41.58) Because at that point, they probably know who the parents are, what the dog's name is, where they go to school, all this other stuff. They've taken weeks. Again, remember we talked about how patient they are. Then they own them. They own them because it's like, all right, if you don't do what I tell you to do, I'm going to let your mom and dad know I'm going to I'm going to blast this out to your kids you go to school with and on and on. And it's the hook. Okay, so that's one aspect and I can go, I can deep dive down that. There's also groups out there, the 764 group, which are openly satanic, by the way. They literally proclaim the worship and practice of worshipping Satan and demons and all this other stuff. It's the number one group the FBI has open files on in all of its field offices across the United States right now. And they try to turn your kid into them. and they are pretty successful doing it. speaker-1 (01:07:38.158) What are do? they? What is what's there? I mean, they're just a gang of devil worshippers. speaker-0 (01:07:43.682) massive gang of devil worshipers. there's not a single leader at all. It's just groups of people operating on their own. And they get your kid to start doing things. That's where cutting comes into being. It's like, now I own you. It's the same situation of trust, getting information or material where they can kind of hang that over your kid's head. And now it's the I've got you moment. So you're going to cut yourself three times right here. right? Or even worse, it's like you got a you got a two-year-old chocolate Labrador, you're gonna cut its first vertebrae off of its tail, you know? Or you're gonna set your phone up and you got a new baby brother that's six months old, I want you to film dropping it on the floor. speaker-1 (01:08:32.366) Hmm. speaker-0 (01:08:33.802) I'm talking real life case files right now. I'm not making up things. speaker-1 (01:08:40.376) So then I mean the family readiness is primarily then about that we have allowed. mean, you know, Paul Kings North calls these things that you know the portals for demons. I mean we have allowed the window the window a portal into our home that they in these guys are able through, you know manipulation and the desire for probably for a good human connection and trying to play a fun video game. They are so if we're alert and and restrictive. mean, at this point, there's a dirt bike again. I'm at the. I think it just needs to be said, if you have given your children a device without parameters and care, you have failed your most basic duty because they can't go on there. And even things I'm just blown away how many people allow tick tock because, know, the whole BBC study where tick tock was nurturing. Even devices that were set up to be young girls, but especially if they were boys, they were nurturing them no matter what. All of these things are nurturing you towards pornography because they need you engaged and nothing is more engaging and enthralling. Nothing keeps you on the thing more than porn. they are ner- you can't give your kid these things, but we still are. So that's the number one thing is just they can't have it. But is that the prime? I actually thought you were going to have me like Scanning the crowds when I'm at the mall, which I don't go to the mall I live in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina, so speaker-0 (01:10:15.422) I I talk about all the above. I talk about being out in public with your kids, how to travel with them, how to prepare your family for all things because it's the Family Readiness Project, right? I could stick hard on just the security, hardcore security side, operator bro. But no, man, life happens to us all. It's like, your kid ready for, are you guys ready for a storm? you know, or power outage. Like I hit all aspects of everything. And I do teach awareness, communication, deescalation. Those are my, those are my pillars mindset first, you know, but I also talk about reengaging with the family because it's wild how many people are just in, incapable because they don't know ignorance is real. And so what we talked about at the first majority of our conversation about craft, is actually engaging with your family. I am a sourdough dad. I bake sourdough every week in our house and I do a really good job. And I kind of nerd out on it. It's like, okay, so that's a single statement. This like cook with your kids, grow a garden with your kids, read to your kids. We're halfway through the two towers right now. You know, reading them Tolkien at night as a family. you know, turn the bloody TV off, you know, get off your phone, get them away from devices, you know, but lead the way. Rangers lead the way, social fathers, you know, teach them how to ride a dirt bike, run a chainsaw, go on a hike, get outside, get off your butt off the couch, do anything. Have a conversation, read them, teach them how to write a haiku, you know, get them to memorize poetry and have them recite it, go to plays. You know, my god, I'm talking about, what am I talking about? be a family again. Seriously. speaker-1 (01:12:09.038) I'm ecstatic by this conversation just because you've helped articulate and arrive. I think our best defense is a good offense as they say, but the reason the culture, the reason the world as in all of its nefarious and evil influences, the reason it invades your home is because your family and the way you live as a family has created a vacuum. Best way to keep out what is bad is again build stuff make stuff grow stuff when you actually have culture because when people use that word. In two different ways. I'd like to have the culture in the home that blah blah blah. we have to protect our kids from the culture. Well, what do you mean by like what do mean? What exactly mean and? Culture is the tending in the crafting of the way that we live. It is stable intergenerational. It's the thing and it's. It's not and when people hear like I don't need one more thing to do no no man Anything else you're doing is not the thing the only to be human is to live a life of culture and that that sort of pushes out it doesn't leave a vacuum for The enemy to fill or our various enemies of various forms It doesn't leave them to fill because I'm there and I'm engaged and I'm not I'm not just Marching the perimeter looking for danger. No, I'm I'm in the heart of it making stuff doing stuff and loving my family by being engaged with them. And that is that that whole sword and spade thing at the very beginning of why we named it. This is that this for the sword to make sense. The the spade has to be the sharpest tool like you've got to be cultivating and tending your life so that you have something worth protecting. speaker-0 (01:13:59.218) Absolutely nailed it. Yeah, that's it. know, it just as fathers, we must reengage and we have to reengage and lead the way. It's like I never had a classical education, you know, and I'm reading Homer in front of my kids at night in the morning. Yes, for me, because it's like your kids are going to emulate what you do. It's like, you know, everybody everybody talks about where'd you learn to do that from my mom and my dad. you know, about the all the all the things good and bad that we turn into as an adult. You know, so it's like, again, am I talking about perfection here? No, I'm just talking about being being with them at all times and and do and showing them the way you know, again, it's it's simple. It's not easy. And as part of that, yes, going back to what I do, I do teach people practical tacticals all the time. And it's an ever moving target because it's ephemeral and the enemy changes tactics at all times. you know, that's tactics. Their strategy is spot on the same forever. You know, and so should ours be, is just staying engaged and involved with our children. And at the end of the day, there's a section in Matthew, Jesus is talking to his disciples, he's describing a vineyard with broken down fences and weeds. you know, and all this other stuff that's basically been abandoned. he's in the parables like, and I saw and I considered and I learned, right? The family is broken down vineyard right now. You know, it has been invaded. have abdicated our God given responsibilities and culture in pursuit of vocation or play, you know. entertainment, all these other things that get in the way from what is absolutely the most important thing is family. We need to think generationally. You know, it's like, well, is your generation perfect? No, but I can do my best for my children and their children and their children's children. You can set a standard that can be carried on. You can light that torch in the darkness of our society that can shine a light and show the beauty of what God has done in our life through the gospel and His grace. speaker-0 (01:16:22.54) And that's what the family readiness completely encompasses right there. know, security is a driving wedge with that. You know, it's like, that's, that's kind of my hard fight against the enemy because that's my lane. I know a lot about bad guys. I know a lot about how they think, how they operate, how they practice. And I can teach other people to do that because families have advocated that responsibility. It's like, someone else is thinking about that's keeping me safe. No, they're actually not. Most police departments don't have a single human who deals with childhood predation, or if they do, it's one poor human. That's just the truth. I know the truth of it. Federal agencies don't talk to each other. Ask me how I know. Like we don't. We all have great different pockets of information out there and people are like, the government has all these systems and they're connected. No, they don't. They are not connected. They hate each other half the time. You know, it's like I'm not talking to them. You know, I mean, it's it's ridiculous. So what I'm saying is just like parents take a breath. relax a little bit, don't get all spun up and wrapped around the axle of like being freaked out. like, there's all this stuff I have to do. Go love on your kids. Go love on your wife and your kids and just engage with them in simple manners and reclaim that territory that you may have lost. Your kids will love you for it because they're dying on the vine for their father to engage with them. And I've heard that story from bad guys all over the place. And I really have. You know, and operators who've become what they do. It's funny how those two demographics are very similar. The guys that go to jail and the guys who go kick indoors, do harm to other bad guys around the world. They're very similar in different ways, but there's a big fatherhood vacuum there and they're dying on the vine for their dad to pay attention to them and engage with them and be the dad. speaker-1 (01:18:25.454) Rick segment that was an amazing summary of the work you do, which I just want to say thank you. I feel I want to get out there and go love my kids better right now. I appreciate that. Appreciate you being on the sword and spade podcast. And if anybody wants to learn more about it, sadly, his bio picture might be gone, but you can go to family readiness project.com. And if you want to see the old bio picture, just email me. I'll send it to you. And I'm not even a predator. Rick, thanks for being on the story of spade podcasts. speaker-0 (01:18:54.414) It was an honor to be here. Very much appreciate what you guys do. Keep carrying the... speaker-1 (01:18:59.726) Thanks, brother.