Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / S21, #8: No Place Like Home?

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S21, #8: No Place Like Home? · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:00
Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
0:03
Speaker 1: with i R Radio. Hello, everybody, We've missed you so much.
0:09
Speaker 1: Ashley is over here, just anxious to start talking Bachelotte again. Yes,
0:15
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to finally talk about the top four.
0:19
Speaker 1: We got Dean, Brian, Peter, and Eric. And I think
0:23
Speaker 1: I called these four from the very beginning. Did you Well,
0:26
Speaker 1: you're a big fan actually, and you've been around for
0:28
Speaker 1: a while, so I'm not surprised. Okay, before we get started, actually,
0:32
Speaker 1: I want to ask you if you had to rank
0:34
Speaker 1: these four guys in order with compatibility for Rachel right now,
0:39
Speaker 1: who would be. I love the fact that you said
0:40
Speaker 1: with compatibility for Rachel, not yourself. Okay, so I'm gonna
0:46
Speaker 1: rank Brian number one. Uh I wanted wanna go with
0:54
Speaker 1: Eric number two? Oh my god? Yeah, because they have
0:58
Speaker 1: so much fun together. And also because Peter at number three,
1:04
Speaker 1: he's like starting to doubt things. He doesn't know if
1:07
Speaker 1: he's ready. He has this guilt over his ex girlfriend.
1:10
Speaker 1: It's a big deal. So then d number four. If
1:14
Speaker 1: you if you would have asked, if if I would
1:16
Speaker 1: have guessed, what you would order you to been in
1:17
Speaker 1: I knew you would be number four because in your mind,
1:19
Speaker 1: you're going to continue to tell yourself you have a chance,
1:23
Speaker 1: and four is a great place for a chance. Well,
1:25
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just saying, actually, you have been very
1:29
Speaker 1: interested in Peter and Dean since the very beginning, and
1:31
Speaker 1: I think that is for very similar reasons that Rachel
1:34
Speaker 1: is interested in these guys. But we learn a lot
1:36
Speaker 1: about him this week. This is hometowns week. This is
1:38
Speaker 1: a big week for them. Um. We get to see
1:41
Speaker 1: a little bit more intimate side than we've seen before.
1:43
Speaker 1: We get to meet their families, who they are around,
1:46
Speaker 1: their families, with their families. Like I know, for me
1:48
Speaker 1: during the batchelor, that was a huge week, one that
1:50
Speaker 1: was incredibly telling. I think, um, when it came to
1:54
Speaker 1: my commitment long terms, I have so many questions for
1:57
Speaker 1: you about hometown. Okay, so did any one Was there
2:01
Speaker 1: anyone who you really liked? And then after meeting your
2:04
Speaker 1: after meeting their family, You're like, oh, maybe I got
2:06
Speaker 1: to rethink this one. Yeah, I mean, honestly I do.
2:10
Speaker 1: At that point, I really liked the fore women I had.
2:13
Speaker 1: The four women I had were Lauren obviously, Joe, Joe,
2:19
Speaker 1: Amanda Stanton, and Kayla, now you met Amanda's girls, I did.
2:23
Speaker 1: Was that a lot of pressure? Um? Yeah, I was.
2:26
Speaker 1: I was very nervous about it. It It is a lot
2:28
Speaker 1: of pressure. I I thought a lot long and hard
2:31
Speaker 1: about if I should even go to hometowns. But then
2:33
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, well, because I knew at that
2:36
Speaker 1: point my feelings for Amanda maybe weren't as strong as
2:38
Speaker 1: my feelings for something hometown. Yes, her hometown specifically, because
2:44
Speaker 1: my feelings weren't quite there yet. But then I wanted
2:46
Speaker 1: to explore it more because Amanda and I kind of
2:48
Speaker 1: had a late start start to our relationship. It was weak,
2:51
Speaker 1: you know, five or six before we really had our
2:52
Speaker 1: first one on one. So I said, well, maybe there
2:54
Speaker 1: is something to Amanda and I that I just don't
2:56
Speaker 1: know yet, and I don't want to give up on it.
2:58
Speaker 1: So um, but that was a great hometown. Honestly, for
3:02
Speaker 1: as difficult as it was emotionally to two and as
3:05
Speaker 1: as as much pressure as it felt like, I really
3:07
Speaker 1: enjoyed meeting her daughters. I really enjoyed seeing the mom
3:09
Speaker 1: she was. Her daughters love her so much. I got
3:12
Speaker 1: to see that up close personal. So then I went
3:14
Speaker 1: to Kala's hometown, which is an amazing family. Um, and
3:18
Speaker 1: I went to JoJo's hometown, and I think JoJo's hometown
3:20
Speaker 1: was maybe the most telling to me, not because of
3:24
Speaker 1: anything awful, but her brothers really didn't at the time
3:27
Speaker 1: seemed to like me. So you're saying that even the
3:30
Speaker 1: parts that we didn't get to see on TV, it's
3:32
Speaker 1: still it still wasn't positive And it wasn't a positive
3:35
Speaker 1: experience with the brothers, No, I don't think it was.
3:37
Speaker 1: I couldn't say it was a positive experience because I
3:39
Speaker 1: think they were very um protective of Jojo, and as
3:43
Speaker 1: a result, because of their protection of Jojo, I felt
3:46
Speaker 1: like I was never going to be invited in. I
3:47
Speaker 1: was never accepted that they knew the experience that we
3:51
Speaker 1: were partaking in. They knew what the show was about,
3:54
Speaker 1: and they made they shamed you for it, and I
3:56
Speaker 1: have a response, And so I couldn't be a part.
4:00
Speaker 1: I couldn't see myself being a part of a family
4:02
Speaker 1: at that time that hadn't even welcome into their home
4:05
Speaker 1: from the beginning. Um, it was a hard it was, really,
4:07
Speaker 1: it was really difficult. But then I went to Lawrence
4:09
Speaker 1: hometown and met her family who obviously, I've you know,
4:12
Speaker 1: got lace the greatest. So hometowns were very telling to me. Uh,
4:17
Speaker 1: it's it's a huge week. It is, in my opinion,
4:19
Speaker 1: the first week that you really fully get to see
4:22
Speaker 1: who these uh people are outside of the show. So
4:26
Speaker 1: when you went to Joe Joe's, did you think about
4:29
Speaker 1: that experience throughout the next week when you had to
4:31
Speaker 1: decide who to pick or were you just like, I know,
4:34
Speaker 1: I'm picking Lauren and it's not even an issue. I'd
4:36
Speaker 1: be lying if I said that I didn't, you know,
4:38
Speaker 1: consider my experience at JoJo's hometown. You know, her family
4:43
Speaker 1: really wasn't terrible to me. Her parents were awesome. Her
4:46
Speaker 1: parents were amazing, um, and and her her sister was amazing.
4:50
Speaker 1: It was the brothers that just didn't accept me, and
4:51
Speaker 1: which is fine. You know, they're protective their sister. I
4:53
Speaker 1: get that. I don't have a sister, so I don't
4:55
Speaker 1: know how i'd react. Um, but it did make for
4:57
Speaker 1: a very contentious environment for me and and as a result,
5:01
Speaker 1: I couldn't look back on that hometown and say, hey,
5:04
Speaker 1: this is the family I could see myself being a
5:05
Speaker 1: part of it. This one the mom was swigging the
5:07
Speaker 1: wine out of it. Yeah, that was a great yeah.
5:10
Speaker 1: I mean it was a very stressed, weepening for us all.
5:12
Speaker 1: But the point of all this is is that hometowns
5:16
Speaker 1: are very impactful in the relationship moving forward. And you
5:18
Speaker 1: have what when you watch the show, Um, I don't
5:22
Speaker 1: know how many weeks there are, but I know there
5:24
Speaker 1: is at least three weeks left in filming, and so
5:26
Speaker 1: you get a lot of time with the final four
5:29
Speaker 1: or three women after hometowns, a lot of a lot
5:32
Speaker 1: of time to build a relationship. You have a lot
5:34
Speaker 1: of time after hometowns. You do have a couple of
5:37
Speaker 1: weeks there to just really spend time with the three women.
5:39
Speaker 1: So were we worried about Dean because he's so worried
5:42
Speaker 1: about his his family not being the perfect family like
5:45
Speaker 1: the other guys may have. I mean, you know, here's
5:48
Speaker 1: here's my perspective on that. And actually, before I give mine,
5:50
Speaker 1: I want to ask you yours if if you were
5:53
Speaker 1: the bachelor at Okay and you were walking to hometowns
5:57
Speaker 1: and there was a family that wasn't perfect okay. Not
6:00
Speaker 1: not that they were mean to you, not that they
6:01
Speaker 1: were angry with you, but they just weren't perfect, They
6:03
Speaker 1: had um their own story that maybe include brokenness like
6:08
Speaker 1: deans um and tragedy. How would you react? Would you
6:11
Speaker 1: be supportive of him? Of course I'd be supporportive of him. Um,
6:15
Speaker 1: I think that it would take me a while to
6:18
Speaker 1: get used to because I grew up in such a
6:21
Speaker 1: close knit, happy, healthy family dynamic that I can't really
6:25
Speaker 1: imagine anything else. But I would of course be sensitive
6:29
Speaker 1: to it. And who knows, you know, who knows what
6:32
Speaker 1: kind of family my husband's gonna be at. I'm sure
6:34
Speaker 1: it won't be as quote perfect as the family I
6:36
Speaker 1: grew up with. Yeah, I mean you. And the thing is,
6:39
Speaker 1: when you fall in love, you're falling in love with
6:42
Speaker 1: the person's um best qualities, worst qualities, and their families.
6:46
Speaker 1: You're there to support them through any tragedies or issues
6:49
Speaker 1: they have in their family. And so in my eyes,
6:53
Speaker 1: like if you're falling in love with somebody, that just
6:56
Speaker 1: comes along with it. We all have, we all have
6:58
Speaker 1: our stuff and you just gotta you gotta embrace that stuff.
7:02
Speaker 1: And um, and if somebody was coming to me during
7:04
Speaker 1: my during my season, said, hey, my family is not perfect.
7:07
Speaker 1: We've had We've had our own issues, um, and there's
7:10
Speaker 1: every other family here is perfect. You know, they have
7:12
Speaker 1: their all their stuff going on. I would, hopefully I
7:16
Speaker 1: really cared about him to say, Okay, that's fine, I mean,
7:18
Speaker 1: thank you, and let's wrap this up and let's live
7:20
Speaker 1: this together. But you're so you're so right that you
7:23
Speaker 1: know your family background does make up the person that
7:25
Speaker 1: you are today. And she obviously is so into Dean
7:29
Speaker 1: and he's such a sweetheart. And I'm sure that a
7:31
Speaker 1: lot of that those mush ball qualities that come along
7:33
Speaker 1: with him have to do with the way that he
7:35
Speaker 1: grew up. Well, I mean yeah, I mean you've we've
7:37
Speaker 1: seen it since early on. Dean has a maturity to
7:41
Speaker 1: him that is way beyond his years because of the
7:44
Speaker 1: story that he has from his life. You know, he
7:46
Speaker 1: has tragedy, he has uh you know, maybe not the
7:49
Speaker 1: best family dynamic at this point, and because of that,
7:52
Speaker 1: he is a better man today. Could we say, right,
7:55
Speaker 1: I would never think that was a twenty five year
7:57
Speaker 1: old I've been watching. I think moving forward, Dean worry
8:01
Speaker 1: uh will impact Rachel more than maybe anybody else's. Could
8:04
Speaker 1: you agree with that? As in like watching her experience
8:08
Speaker 1: in his hometown will be more influential. I would say possibly, yeah,
8:14
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I don't really know. Wait, do
8:20
Speaker 1: I think it's going to affect her opinion on him? No,
8:24
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's not I don't mean opinion. I mean,
8:26
Speaker 1: do you think living in that experience like his hometown.
8:30
Speaker 1: I think it'll just demonstrate the strength that he has
8:33
Speaker 1: and the maturity that he has for his age. I
8:35
Speaker 1: agree with you completely think it'll probably add to her
8:39
Speaker 1: admiration of him. I agree it will, And honestly that
8:42
Speaker 1: now that's the storyline I am excited to watch during
8:45
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Speaker 1: before we close out of recap. That I want to
10:25
Speaker 1: talk to you about is this issue that's getting brought
10:27
Speaker 1: up now of age. Okay, Rachel is um about thirty, right,
10:33
Speaker 1: she's one um and we have this guy Peter, who
10:37
Speaker 1: was the closest to her age and with the final
10:40
Speaker 1: four guys left, yeahs um. But Peter right now is
10:43
Speaker 1: seemed to have the hardest time breaking down his walls,
10:46
Speaker 1: which happens every season. So why is it that it
10:49
Speaker 1: takes so long or it's so hard for guys or
10:51
Speaker 1: girls I guess during the Bachelor or Bachelor to to
10:54
Speaker 1: break down their walls so they can beat fully themselves
10:57
Speaker 1: or what does that even mean? Well? I actually had
10:59
Speaker 1: a cover station about a week ago about this very topic,
11:03
Speaker 1: and I was told that guys don't really feel comfortable
11:06
Speaker 1: with their selves emotionally until they're encroaching forty. This is
11:10
Speaker 1: only the opinion of one man. What do you think
11:12
Speaker 1: about that? Well, now I'm questioning myself. I think you're
11:16
Speaker 1: pretty in touch with your emotions. I mean, yeah, I
11:19
Speaker 1: cry a lot, but no, I mean I don't know
11:23
Speaker 1: if that could be true. I don't think that's true.
11:25
Speaker 1: I think we have phases and seasons in life that
11:27
Speaker 1: we are constantly changing and progressing and trying to become
11:29
Speaker 1: better whatever. But I don't know, forty is the cut off?
11:34
Speaker 1: That seems to me like it just sounds like an
11:36
Speaker 1: excuse from somebody that's below forty to say, yeah, I'm
11:39
Speaker 1: not I'm not really finding myself yet, but that's okay,
11:42
Speaker 1: because I really only have to find myself at forty. Okay. Yeah,
11:45
Speaker 1: they're saying that I have a couple more years in
11:48
Speaker 1: order to be emotionally mature. And what was the into
11:51
Speaker 1: what was that word that that Taylor would always use,
11:53
Speaker 1: She was emotionally intelligent? So do you think that guys
11:58
Speaker 1: are more or less emotionally intelligent? And if that has
12:01
Speaker 1: anything to do with the age that you should be dating,
12:03
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I mean, I think it's a
12:05
Speaker 1: one off basis. So we have people in history, men
12:09
Speaker 1: and women who have had large impacts and who in
12:12
Speaker 1: our society way below forty. I don't think there's an
12:15
Speaker 1: age cud of I think it's who you're trying to
12:17
Speaker 1: be when you're trying to be them, and who you
12:19
Speaker 1: are as a person. And I think everybody's different in that.
12:22
Speaker 1: For Peter, Peter seems to be stuck up on this
12:25
Speaker 1: thing where he's emotionally unable to move, to break himself
12:29
Speaker 1: down to the point of saying, Rachel, I'm confident, confident
12:32
Speaker 1: enough at this moment to tell you who I am.
12:34
Speaker 1: He seems to have something he's hiding. Well, it's apparently
12:36
Speaker 1: this ex girlfriend who he continues to feel guilt about.
12:40
Speaker 1: We don't really know much more beyond that, but I
12:44
Speaker 1: think that probably in this situation, it's probably Peter saying like,
12:49
Speaker 1: I may not be as into you, and I may
12:51
Speaker 1: be a little bit afraid to vocalize that. It's interesting
12:55
Speaker 1: because you have guys like Dean. I mean, Dean's what
12:58
Speaker 1: twenty five years old? Twenty six years old, and he
13:00
Speaker 1: seems to be incredibly ready to pursue relationship with Rachel's.
13:05
Speaker 1: But then you have the all the opposite with a
13:08
Speaker 1: guy named Brian. Brian's what thirty seven, so he's close
13:11
Speaker 1: to your forty year old cut off. So that brings
13:13
Speaker 1: up the question is it okay for Rachel to date
13:17
Speaker 1: a younger man? And and and again is it okay
13:19
Speaker 1: for being a younger man to date an older woman.
13:22
Speaker 1: I think we're generalizing a whole bunch of stuff that
13:25
Speaker 1: probably cannot be generalized because it's probably on an individual basis.
13:29
Speaker 1: People are either emotionally mature and ready for a relationship,
13:32
Speaker 1: or when they're young, or they're old and they're not ready.
13:36
Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter. We were just talking about this beforehand.
13:38
Speaker 1: We both feel like we were kind of like born
13:41
Speaker 1: ready for a relationship. Maybe maybe that's not the actual case,
13:45
Speaker 1: but you and I've always craved that. But maybe some
13:47
Speaker 1: people are in touch with themselves enough to crave that.
13:51
Speaker 1: People say it's a double standard that they're judging Dean
13:54
Speaker 1: for being young because Rachel's the older woman as opposed
13:58
Speaker 1: to Brian, who is the fact same number of years
14:01
Speaker 1: older as Dean is younger. But people are very comfortable
14:05
Speaker 1: with older man younger woman. Girls are always taught that
14:09
Speaker 1: guys are less mature than them, so that's why we
14:12
Speaker 1: are expected to date up. That's interesting. Let's let's see
14:16
Speaker 1: what Emily thinks in Colorado. Emily in Colorado, would you
14:20
Speaker 1: date a younger guy? You know? I honestly wouldn't I
14:24
Speaker 1: have for and um, it just did not end well.
14:27
Speaker 1: I'm always looking for someone who kind of has their
14:30
Speaker 1: life together and who has goals and is working towards them,
14:33
Speaker 1: and sometimes I just feel like younger guys aren't into that.
14:35
Speaker 1: What was the age difference? It was two years. Two years.
14:40
Speaker 1: I would think that you wouldn't detect anything With two years,
14:44
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, continue. It was kind of hard
14:48
Speaker 1: because I was about to I mean, granted, I was
14:50
Speaker 1: going to college, so it was it was that kind
14:53
Speaker 1: of age difference where he was going to still be
14:55
Speaker 1: in high school and that's the only experience I have
14:57
Speaker 1: with younger guys. But he was he didn't want me
15:01
Speaker 1: to go to college. You wanted me to stick around
15:03
Speaker 1: in my hometown, and I was like, not about that.
15:05
Speaker 1: It all depends on where you are in life. I
15:07
Speaker 1: think that's a big monumental life change, like high school
15:10
Speaker 1: in college. And then for me, if I wanted to
15:13
Speaker 1: date down now and some guy in his mid twenties,
15:16
Speaker 1: he may not be ready to settle down now, But me,
15:18
Speaker 1: as a girl in my upper twenties, I'm like, I'm
15:21
Speaker 1: not going to date anyone unless they have marriage potential
15:24
Speaker 1: in them. Exactly. Yes, I feel exactly the same way. Well,
15:28
Speaker 1: thank you for calling in here. We have Holly and Oakland. Holly,
15:33
Speaker 1: what do you think about this situation. Do can you
15:35
Speaker 1: date a younger man? Do men mature more slowly than women?
15:40
Speaker 1: From your perspective? What's that? What's like? Well, I'm twenty two,
15:45
Speaker 1: so at age two, I would not date someone younger
15:49
Speaker 1: than me because then you'd be robbing the cradle, that
15:54
Speaker 1: would be It just be too weird. And it's hard
15:57
Speaker 1: enough to date a guy in my own age. But
16:00
Speaker 1: as I feel like, a twenty two year old guy
16:02
Speaker 1: is like, I don't know, a seventeen year old girl mentally,
16:07
Speaker 1: how did you feel? I mean, I don't know, but
16:10
Speaker 1: that's an interesting perspective that she just brought up. Can
16:14
Speaker 1: you repeat what you just said? Um, twenty two year
16:18
Speaker 1: old guy is maturity wise like a seventeen year old girl.
16:22
Speaker 1: That's what we're taught. We are taught that they're normally
16:24
Speaker 1: four years behind us maturity wise. Where are we basing
16:28
Speaker 1: these facts on? Just getting crushed right now? I have
16:32
Speaker 1: no response, I know, I'm so confused. I thought this
16:35
Speaker 1: was just a common thing that mother has always taught
16:38
Speaker 1: their daughters. Really okay, well, I mean so it moves
16:42
Speaker 1: us in kind of away from the even the idea
16:44
Speaker 1: can an older woman date a young guy to our
16:47
Speaker 1: guys mature enough to handle an older woman, especially levels
16:54
Speaker 1: out Eventually, Yeah, eventually they all catch up. So that's
16:58
Speaker 1: why at my age now, I wouldn't get younger, but
17:01
Speaker 1: you know, give me a few years and I probably would.
17:04
Speaker 1: Exactly if you're in your thirties and you're you're you're
17:06
Speaker 1: a thirty seven year old woman, You're married to a
17:08
Speaker 1: thirty four year old there's no difference there, right, Well, hey,
17:12
Speaker 1: thank you for calling in. You're it's such an interesting
17:16
Speaker 1: topic to talk about, and I'm not done talking about
17:18
Speaker 1: it yet, and neither is Ashley. So we have Meghan
17:20
Speaker 1: in New York. Megan, would you date a younger man? No?
17:27
Speaker 1: Why not? We need somebody to say yes. Oh, it's
17:31
Speaker 1: just because I don't want to feel like an old woman,
17:34
Speaker 1: like a cougar. I agree with you. Do You know
17:37
Speaker 1: what when I used to be obsessed with the Jonas brothers,
17:40
Speaker 1: Joe and I are only a year and a half apart,
17:42
Speaker 1: and even having a crush on a guy a year
17:44
Speaker 1: and a half younger than me that I took very seriously,
17:46
Speaker 1: you know this crash um. I felt like, oh, could
17:49
Speaker 1: he really be a man with me? Let's think I
17:55
Speaker 1: don't know you do you feel you feel like? Are
17:57
Speaker 1: they going to protect me if a guy comes into
17:59
Speaker 1: the house with the gun? This is what I would
18:01
Speaker 1: think of. But then all right, thinks what I used
18:06
Speaker 1: to think of. Actually, we got a lot to talk
18:08
Speaker 1: about off offline. Here. Ben's a year younger than me,
18:11
Speaker 1: but I would trust him if a burglar came in
18:13
Speaker 1: the house. Actually, yeah, you weren't you older than him?
18:18
Speaker 1: By barely? He's a year exactly younger than well. I
18:21
Speaker 1: just want to make a comment before we move forward here,
18:24
Speaker 1: Harry Styles is only twenty three, and in that case
18:31
Speaker 1: there's always exceptions. I would go three and that's only
18:35
Speaker 1: six years. That's Rachel. That's Rachel and Dan and maybe
18:39
Speaker 1: six months six months. Okay, hey Megan, thank you for
18:43
Speaker 1: calling in, of course, thank you. All right, I can
18:46
Speaker 1: talk about this for I think we have somebody that's
18:49
Speaker 1: going to give a perspective that we haven't heard yet.
18:52
Speaker 1: And I want to hear Brooklyn and Kansas City, would
18:56
Speaker 1: you date a younger man? Yes, Brooklyn, give her a second?
19:02
Speaker 1: Come on? Have you have you date a younger man? Well,
19:06
Speaker 1: it just depend on their maturity. So how old are you? Oh? Gee,
19:14
Speaker 1: I just knew I had to ask this question. Thank you. Okay, well,
19:21
Speaker 1: let you know what, let's listen here. Why would you,
19:24
Speaker 1: at fourteen years old believe you could date a younger man. Well,
19:28
Speaker 1: it wouldn't like more than a couple of years. I mean,
19:31
Speaker 1: like it's like a year. There's not a lot of
19:33
Speaker 1: guys younger than you, so you know it wouldn't be
19:35
Speaker 1: other company. Yeah, you can't do a twelve year old.
19:39
Speaker 1: Um no, So honestly though, okay, put yourself in your
19:42
Speaker 1: twenty five year old shoes. Yeah, at that point, would
19:47
Speaker 1: you see yourself dating a younger, younger man or what's
19:51
Speaker 1: your perspective? I guess is a better question of Rachel
19:54
Speaker 1: and Dean's relationship on The Bachelor, that's a great question.
19:58
Speaker 1: I think that they're really good for each other. There,
20:00
Speaker 1: I supported it. I don't think that it's like the age.
20:04
Speaker 1: I think it's like the maturity level. So like, obviously
20:08
Speaker 1: you're not going to be thirty one year old if
20:11
Speaker 1: they're childish, are you sure your fourteen? Yeah, you sound
20:15
Speaker 1: really mature. It's because you've been listening to all my podcasts.
20:19
Speaker 1: That is a big part of it. I learned a
20:21
Speaker 1: lot of stuff from you. I was gonna say, have
20:23
Speaker 1: you brace yourself for the awful twenties in dating? Oh, Ashley, Ben,
20:29
Speaker 1: we're both struggling. No, well, thank you so much real quick.
20:36
Speaker 1: Aren't that bad? Like you're gonna have a great twenties
20:39
Speaker 1: I can predict. I've loved my twenties so much fun.
20:42
Speaker 1: Just never had a boyfriend, Brooklyn. Thanks for calling in. Yeah,
20:45
Speaker 1: thank you. All right, before we move forward here, we
20:47
Speaker 1: got to talk about one of our sponsors today. Ashley.
20:49
Speaker 1: I know that you're a huge fan and you've been
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Speaker 1: a part of this program for a while. It's our
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Speaker 1: sponsor fab fun Um. They've been very supportive this podcast
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Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, so it's yes. So Fabbit Fund is
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22:13
Speaker 1: We have some listener emails some topics that have been
22:16
Speaker 1: brought up throughout this podcast that that have been kind
22:19
Speaker 1: of our main topics. One of them, um is can
22:24
Speaker 1: you be friends with your acts? That that topic has
22:25
Speaker 1: gotten a ton of traction of the last few weeks.
22:28
Speaker 1: We get a lot of emails talking about it. You know,
22:31
Speaker 1: I think you said it would be hard to be
22:32
Speaker 1: a friends with your act. I would say, yes, it
22:34
Speaker 1: would be hard to be friends with your ax A
22:35
Speaker 1: lot of our listeners say, yeah, it's difficult, but it's
22:38
Speaker 1: healthy if you can get to the point of at
22:40
Speaker 1: least calling that person a friend. Um, So I want
22:43
Speaker 1: to ask you because this has kind of been some
22:46
Speaker 1: of the emails we get in in the Bachelor world, right,
22:49
Speaker 1: everybody so connected. Everybody's what makes the Bachelor world different
22:53
Speaker 1: than the real world when it comes to friendships outside
22:56
Speaker 1: of the show. So, yeah, I'm glad that you brought
22:58
Speaker 1: this up, because I do want to clare by, Um,
23:01
Speaker 1: I feel like you're kind of forced into being friends
23:05
Speaker 1: with your ex after the show, whether you're ready for
23:07
Speaker 1: it or not. And I feel like people are very
23:11
Speaker 1: curious as to why Jared and I are so such
23:13
Speaker 1: close friends. It's because we had so many things we
23:16
Speaker 1: had to do together for a while that you can't
23:19
Speaker 1: not be if you get along, and you obviously got
23:21
Speaker 1: along because he dated that. When you're around the person,
23:25
Speaker 1: you're like, wait, even if this isn't romantic, I love
23:28
Speaker 1: being in your presence. So yeah, the Bachelor, it's it's
23:31
Speaker 1: weird because you're even if you're broken up, you definitely
23:35
Speaker 1: can't avoid each other. No, So I guess and that
23:38
Speaker 1: with that being said, this email to ask the question
23:40
Speaker 1: can you you know, can you really be friends your
23:41
Speaker 1: ex is and what makes it different in the bachelor world.
23:44
Speaker 1: We would say the bachelor world is different, but it
23:46
Speaker 1: also is an example of friendships can't exist with your
23:50
Speaker 1: exes or people you dated. It just takes time and
23:53
Speaker 1: it has to be done responsibly. So moving on the
23:55
Speaker 1: next email, this one, you know, it's kind of fun
23:57
Speaker 1: to talk about. It's behind the scene this question right
24:01
Speaker 1: the the emails from Samantha Cea. It says, I love
24:04
Speaker 1: listening to your podcast every Tuesday during my lunch hour
24:07
Speaker 1: or when I'm getting ready in the morning. Anyways, I
24:08
Speaker 1: had a question as the bachelor or bachelorette, do you
24:11
Speaker 1: know who is having drama in the house? For example,
24:14
Speaker 1: she asked me, Ben, you took one of the twins
24:17
Speaker 1: and Olivia on a date and it was super dramatic
24:20
Speaker 1: because of the beef between them. Who decides who goes
24:23
Speaker 1: on the two on one dates and group dates? The
24:25
Speaker 1: question is who knows the drama in the house? The
24:28
Speaker 1: bachelor bachelorrette really doesn't and that's the crazy part of
24:31
Speaker 1: the show. You're kind of blocked off from anything happening
24:34
Speaker 1: behind closed doors. That you're not on a date with
24:36
Speaker 1: or a part over a group date. UM. I personally
24:39
Speaker 1: didn't love it when one of the other contestants would
24:41
Speaker 1: ask or tell me, hey, you know, these two people
24:44
Speaker 1: are fighting in the house. That makes it really difficult
24:46
Speaker 1: for me, and you know, this person is just well
24:50
Speaker 1: because you never know where that intention is coming from. UM,
24:53
Speaker 1: so you don't know you're you're doing your best. But
24:56
Speaker 1: I think as a viewer, it's really interesting now to
24:59
Speaker 1: watch it because you see these these women or these
25:02
Speaker 1: men that are just causing trouble issues and when we're
25:04
Speaker 1: at home, like why don't you send her home? Send
25:06
Speaker 1: him home? Now? Like why are they still here with
25:09
Speaker 1: you know six And from the Bachelor bacherette's perspective, we
25:12
Speaker 1: have no idea sometimes until we watch the show back. Yeah,
25:16
Speaker 1: that's so crazy for me. The reason that I would
25:20
Speaker 1: or that I did tell Chris what was going on
25:22
Speaker 1: with Kelsey is because back at home all the girls left,
25:26
Speaker 1: there's like six of us. We were all like, oh
25:29
Speaker 1: my god, this guy is he can't see this, Like
25:31
Speaker 1: he's got to get the woolpole, he's getting his wool
25:33
Speaker 1: polled over his eyes or whatever. So at some point
25:36
Speaker 1: you want to make sure they're not being tricked. But
25:38
Speaker 1: I feel like Chris kind of knew it was up.
25:40
Speaker 1: Did you kind of get a get an inkling just
25:43
Speaker 1: based on watching the girls vibe together? Yeah, I mean
25:46
Speaker 1: that's so the answers. The second question here is who
25:48
Speaker 1: decides who goes on the tour own dates. I started
25:50
Speaker 1: to get an inkling that these two, like these two
25:52
Speaker 1: girls were not getting lolong in the house just based
25:54
Speaker 1: on some of the conversations I had their emotions around
25:56
Speaker 1: each other. And so ultimately you decide, hey, if this
25:59
Speaker 1: is how it is, let's get him both sat down
26:01
Speaker 1: in the same room or the same environment, and then
26:03
Speaker 1: I can decide for myself what is that relationship like
26:06
Speaker 1: between them? And you can decide for yourself. Okay, yeah, yeah,
26:10
Speaker 1: you know. You you try to do the best you
26:12
Speaker 1: can with what you have because you don't have a
26:14
Speaker 1: lot of info. You don't have it's you're kind of
26:17
Speaker 1: always in the dark. And so a two on one
26:19
Speaker 1: day is a really good way to say, hey, let's
26:22
Speaker 1: see what this relationship looks like between them, and then
26:24
Speaker 1: who has handled this maybe more maturely responsibly, or for example,
26:27
Speaker 1: maybe both of these women aren't for me or both
26:30
Speaker 1: these men aren't for the Bachelor at and then they
26:33
Speaker 1: both go home, you know, like your case. So final email,
26:36
Speaker 1: This is a great question, one that I'm super interested in.
26:38
Speaker 1: This is a question for you, Ashley. Okay, so that
26:41
Speaker 1: Caitlin are says this, if Dean and Peter were announced
26:46
Speaker 1: the next Bachelor, would you go back on the show?
26:49
Speaker 1: And I have to add this in because that's how
26:50
Speaker 1: she closes the email, and we need to give ourselves
26:52
Speaker 1: from crities. I'm loving this podcast all caps. I've never
26:55
Speaker 1: podcasts before, and now I'm hooked. I've never a podcast
26:59
Speaker 1: before either. I just listened to my own, which is weird. Um,
27:04
Speaker 1: this is a great question because obviously I've been pretty
27:07
Speaker 1: outspoken about thinking that those two are pretty great. But
27:12
Speaker 1: the reason there are two reasons I wouldn't go back. One,
27:14
Speaker 1: I think it's a bad look for me personally. It's like,
27:17
Speaker 1: at this point, come on, girl, we're done, We're done,
27:20
Speaker 1: We're over you. Secondly, Ben, don't you think it doesn't
27:26
Speaker 1: look the best to have a girl come on the
27:28
Speaker 1: second or third or fourth season? Like, did you you
27:32
Speaker 1: tell me honestly what you thought when Becca showed up
27:36
Speaker 1: in that Limo. Didn't you feel like, oh, this girl
27:39
Speaker 1: maybe just wants to just do it again. I don't.
27:42
Speaker 1: I mean Becca and Amber both came back on again.
27:45
Speaker 1: I think I was excited for the possibility of I
27:47
Speaker 1: I had seen Becca on TV, I'd seen Amber on
27:50
Speaker 1: TV that they're both two women that seem like they
27:52
Speaker 1: had a great character. If you can't close the door
27:56
Speaker 1: to that, right If they had watched me on TV
27:58
Speaker 1: and they had access to get back on the show
28:00
Speaker 1: and they were interested, that actually was a huge compliment
28:02
Speaker 1: to me. I was very thankful for the idea that
28:05
Speaker 1: they were going to risk their um, the public, their image,
28:08
Speaker 1: the public perception to try to pursue a relationship with me.
28:11
Speaker 1: That meant a ton. Okay, Okay, that's totally a different
28:14
Speaker 1: way of looking at it, And I would have never
28:15
Speaker 1: thought you would have explained it to me that way.
28:18
Speaker 1: What if you do that Winter Games thing and you
28:20
Speaker 1: all go skiing and then drink hot chocolate and fall
28:22
Speaker 1: in love. Oh yeah, I forgot that that's even a
28:24
Speaker 1: possibility that one of the two of them could be
28:27
Speaker 1: on the Winter Games. You're really pushing for that, aren't you.
28:29
Speaker 1: I'm not. I actually think I should stop talking about that.
28:33
Speaker 1: Why because like, I don't want to pretend like this
28:37
Speaker 1: is something that is likely and it's probably not. Well,
28:42
Speaker 1: thinking is a real thing. I I do believe in thinking.
28:46
Speaker 1: You know, with all of this, we love your emails,
28:48
Speaker 1: We love your comments. Please uh tweet at us at
28:51
Speaker 1: hashtag almost famous podcast. But you know, as as we're
28:56
Speaker 1: reading today, we also have an email address now be
28:58
Speaker 1: in Ashley at my heart media dot com. Again, that's
29:01
Speaker 1: been and Ashley at I heeart media dot com. We
29:03
Speaker 1: have one final email here. Uh, it's from Monica. Monica
29:07
Speaker 1: asked a question and this is our fault. We kind
29:09
Speaker 1: of skipped over this. We mentioned it and I think
29:11
Speaker 1: we are podcast to um it's a question for that.
29:14
Speaker 1: We said we're gonna have Olivia on our next episode
29:17
Speaker 1: to talk about a situation in Paradise h called with
29:21
Speaker 1: a guy named Derek pet Derek was on JoJo's season
29:23
Speaker 1: of The Bachelorette. Actually, you have the inside scoop into this.
29:26
Speaker 1: I've heard a little bit about it. Why didn't Olivia
29:29
Speaker 1: come on our podcast? Well, they dated and I think
29:32
Speaker 1: she's been pretty open with that, but she just feels
29:36
Speaker 1: like it's a private thing between the two of them,
29:38
Speaker 1: and she no longer feels comfortable discussing it, especially since
29:43
Speaker 1: you know, Derek was announced as part of the original
29:46
Speaker 1: cast on Paradise. And if she does feel like talking
29:50
Speaker 1: about at some point another I'm sure she will end
29:52
Speaker 1: up talking about it on her own podcast. Um, and
29:55
Speaker 1: maybe she'll even have Derek on. Who knows, maybe during
29:57
Speaker 1: the Paradise season she'll have Derek on. Maybe we can
29:59
Speaker 1: have the two of them on and they can confront
30:01
Speaker 1: each other right here. I would love that. Um. So
30:04
Speaker 1: you're saying they dated up until Paradise, No, not up
30:07
Speaker 1: until Paradise. Okay, so where's the where's the juiciness? I'm
30:10
Speaker 1: not going to give you any juiciness. We got to
30:12
Speaker 1: have him on, and we gotta have Derek and Olivia
30:17
Speaker 1: discussing this, figuring this out. Let's see how he comes
30:20
Speaker 1: across on Paradise. The better he looks, the more I
30:24
Speaker 1: would want to take him down personally. If he looks
30:27
Speaker 1: like a good guy, and I know he's not, Oh
30:31
Speaker 1: my gosh, I don't know he's actually you know, if
30:35
Speaker 1: he is a Reay not. But if I was the
30:40
Speaker 1: girl who was um treated poorly, I would get back
30:45
Speaker 1: at him. I have a question, Ben, how unattractive is
30:49
Speaker 1: it that I like love to play the Taylor Swift role,
30:51
Speaker 1: that I love to call out bad guys publicly. It
30:57
Speaker 1: just means I gotta stay on your good side. No,
30:58
Speaker 1: I mean you're never going to cross that side. It's
31:01
Speaker 1: not in your DNA. But is it very unattractive for
31:04
Speaker 1: a girl to air her dirty laundry? I don't know
31:07
Speaker 1: if it's attractive or not attractive. I think there's a
31:10
Speaker 1: level of respect, and I don't think you've crossed that
31:12
Speaker 1: line with anybody. If if somebody mistreats somebody, not that
31:15
Speaker 1: they should be called out publicly, publicly every time. You
31:19
Speaker 1: might want to confront that person individually. If you have
31:21
Speaker 1: an issue with any of these guys in your life
31:24
Speaker 1: or any of these women in your life. My opinion
31:26
Speaker 1: is you know, confront them one on one. If there's
31:31
Speaker 1: no positive response. Yeah, if there's not a positive response,
31:34
Speaker 1: then what then? Either you you allow it to just
31:37
Speaker 1: kind of move forward, and you've done your duty by saying,
31:39
Speaker 1: hey I've been hurt, or hey I'm affected, or hey
31:41
Speaker 1: I don't think that decision is right, or because you
31:43
Speaker 1: have the platform you call him out on this podcast.
31:46
Speaker 1: But do you think that there's a teaching lesson to
31:48
Speaker 1: be had here, Like it's like you screwed me over,
31:51
Speaker 1: I am going to say, now I'm going to call
31:53
Speaker 1: you out and now no, no, it won't work. It
31:58
Speaker 1: won't work. And I think it just I think it
31:59
Speaker 1: just adds more pain. So I think there is there's
32:02
Speaker 1: a responsibility there. We say I should always confront my
32:06
Speaker 1: issues with the person one on one and publicly, is very,
32:09
Speaker 1: very rarely the right decision, and especially when it comes
32:12
Speaker 1: to your personal life, because there are a lot of
32:15
Speaker 1: things that people do in our lives that hurt us.
32:16
Speaker 1: And if we just call people out of the time,
32:18
Speaker 1: it spreads a lot of negativity. But Ashley, you know
32:21
Speaker 1: what's not negative? Oh my gosh, can we just tell
32:24
Speaker 1: you all out there? But there is one necessary accessory
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Speaker 1: forever rewarded. So with that being said, before we wrap
33:36
Speaker 1: up this week's episode, let's take a quick peek. Sorry. So,
33:41
Speaker 1: with that being said, before we wrap up this week's episode,
33:44
Speaker 1: let's take a quick sneak relationship quick sneaking, let's sneak in. Sorry. So,
33:52
Speaker 1: with that being said, before we wrap this week's episode,
33:54
Speaker 1: let's sneak in a quick relationship advice call. Alright, Crystaline, Hey,
34:00
Speaker 1: you're in Texas. How can we help you. Okay, So
34:04
Speaker 1: I just need a little bit of advice. So I
34:07
Speaker 1: was talking to this dude for like good six seven months. Um,
34:11
Speaker 1: everything was great. Um. And we went on like a
34:15
Speaker 1: little trip together with all of my friends. Um and
34:19
Speaker 1: um it was like a great trip. Like it made
34:20
Speaker 1: me even closer to him, like I thought. It was
34:22
Speaker 1: really feeling somewhere like I could really see myself with
34:25
Speaker 1: this guy. Long term story kind of continue, sy um okay.
34:33
Speaker 1: So um, after that weekend, he kind of gets a
34:35
Speaker 1: little this and I'm like, what's going on? Like we
34:37
Speaker 1: had this a good weekend and he was like, yeah, man,
34:40
Speaker 1: I you know I love the weekend. I love spending
34:42
Speaker 1: so much time with you. It was great. And like
34:45
Speaker 1: that next week, you just kept pulling away and I
34:46
Speaker 1: was like going, sure, okay, And I don't know what.
34:48
Speaker 1: I just feel like we got too close, Like I
34:50
Speaker 1: feel like we're married now I'm twenty one. I don't
34:52
Speaker 1: want to feel like I'm married. And I was like okay,
34:54
Speaker 1: like okay, I kind of get that. I don't feel
34:57
Speaker 1: the same way, but I understand, like where you young,
35:00
Speaker 1: we should do her own saying fine, like okay, fine, um,
35:03
Speaker 1: and so we agree to like still kind of continue talking,
35:06
Speaker 1: but just not as serious. But he just continues to
35:09
Speaker 1: pull away and pull away and pull away, and sometimes
35:11
Speaker 1: he won't even take me back. He'll leave me on rid.
35:14
Speaker 1: So I look on the social media and I find
35:16
Speaker 1: out that he's back with his ex girlfriend. Oh well,
35:18
Speaker 1: there you go, there's your answer. How old are you? Okay,
35:23
Speaker 1: so you're one? Well, I just you know, that's what happened.
35:27
Speaker 1: That sucks, and I'm sad for you. But you guys,
35:31
Speaker 1: weren't you weren't exclusive, you're just dating. Well, we were
35:35
Speaker 1: to an extent before he said, like, okay, I thought
35:37
Speaker 1: we were married. We gotta stop it, just like why,
35:40
Speaker 1: like what is the purpose of like pulling away and
35:42
Speaker 1: not just telling me up front right away? Like I
35:44
Speaker 1: totally would have said if you just told me. This
35:47
Speaker 1: is something guys do, and I think they think they're
35:49
Speaker 1: being nice. I think they think they're being nice by
35:51
Speaker 1: coming up with another excuse. But you just be better
35:54
Speaker 1: off if you just knew the honest truth right exactly,
35:58
Speaker 1: Like I can handle it, just tell straight up. I
36:01
Speaker 1: totally can understand. But and then that's not even the
36:04
Speaker 1: worst part. The worst part is that he's with are still,
36:06
Speaker 1: but he still trying to have let's just me and
36:08
Speaker 1: wants to come out and like come over and go
36:11
Speaker 1: out and do this and that. And I'm like, what
36:12
Speaker 1: about your girlfriends? Like are you with her still? Are
36:15
Speaker 1: you still worried and trying to date and do things?
36:19
Speaker 1: If you're with your girlfriend, Chrystaline, you need to protect
36:21
Speaker 1: yourself here. I'm gonna say this, and it's no longer
36:24
Speaker 1: appropriate or it doesn't sound like this guy is going
36:27
Speaker 1: to treat you fairly, and so having lunch with him
36:29
Speaker 1: and continue to have access or allowing him to have
36:32
Speaker 1: access in your life is no longer fair to yourself.
36:35
Speaker 1: My advice to her, and and my advice coming from
36:37
Speaker 1: a man, is you know, I don't know what his
36:39
Speaker 1: intention was by not telling you. I know sometimes I
36:42
Speaker 1: fail at that is not being as clearing my communication
36:44
Speaker 1: with with women maybe I've dated in the past and
36:47
Speaker 1: saying hey, this is now over. I can no longer
36:48
Speaker 1: do this. I don't. I think as I hear your story,
36:51
Speaker 1: there's a level of intimacy from having this trip with
36:53
Speaker 1: him that maybe he felt like it would damage you
36:56
Speaker 1: too much if he was too honest and said hey,
36:59
Speaker 1: based on this trip based on you know, the intimacy
37:01
Speaker 1: that we experienced together. Now I'm just gonna I'm moving forward.
37:04
Speaker 1: And and and maybe he just didn't want to own up
37:06
Speaker 1: to that himself. Um and and but now it's time
37:09
Speaker 1: for for for you to move on, for him to
37:12
Speaker 1: move on. He seems to be moving on just fine.
37:18
Speaker 1: I know, Ben, But you have you have you done that?
37:22
Speaker 1: Like do you sugarcoat breakups and like use a different
37:25
Speaker 1: excuse that's not the real real reason. Um, you know
37:28
Speaker 1: I used to, and I think it's a there's a
37:30
Speaker 1: lot too. That's level of confidence. If you can communicate
37:32
Speaker 1: clearly what you're breaking up with the person for, how
37:37
Speaker 1: intimate relationship was you know there that always it has
37:41
Speaker 1: to be thought through. Um, but yeah, I have I've
37:43
Speaker 1: made that mistake. I have sugarcoated things. I haven't communicated
37:46
Speaker 1: as clear as I wanted to. But you learned that
37:48
Speaker 1: lesson because you see the pain it causes. You listen
37:50
Speaker 1: to people like Crystaline here and you're here, Hey, this
37:52
Speaker 1: guy might have had great intentions by sugarcoating it, but
37:55
Speaker 1: it hurt her more. And so hopefully if this guy's listening,
37:58
Speaker 1: and if you are whoever you are, Texas. Krystland's hurt.
38:02
Speaker 1: So own up to it and just tell her, Hey,
38:04
Speaker 1: I've moved forward with my ex girlfriend. I'm back with her.
38:07
Speaker 1: This no longer is appropriate exactly, Krystline, thank you so
38:10
Speaker 1: much for the call. That is a great topic. And again,
38:13
Speaker 1: it's a topic we you talk about for hours and
38:16
Speaker 1: hours and hours on end. But because we don't have
38:19
Speaker 1: that time, and because the almost famous podcast for this
38:22
Speaker 1: week has come to a close, what the heck why
38:25
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave. I get talked about it
38:27
Speaker 1: forever because I just want to get into the male brain. Well, luckily, Ashley,
38:32
Speaker 1: for both of us, we have many more weeks of
38:34
Speaker 1: this podcast. For me, so I always leave wanting more.
38:38
Speaker 1: And my mom told me to always leave people wanting more.
38:41
Speaker 1: And that's what you do to me. Done, Oh, Ashley,
38:44
Speaker 1: come on, So before we go, I want to give
38:46
Speaker 1: you a quick shot or quick shout out to our sponsors.
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Speaker 1: this summer. And finally, thank you to Forever twenty one.
39:12
Speaker 1: Get a Forever credit card today at any Forever one store. Hey, everybody,
39:18
Speaker 1: we'll talk to you next week. I've been Ashley, I've
39:21
Speaker 1: been been followed The Benn and Ashley I almost famous
39:26
Speaker 1: podcasts on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen
39:29
Speaker 1: to podcasts.