Latest / Reformed Thinking / Gentle Shepherds: Why “Not Violent” Is a Non-Negotiable Qualification for Elders
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Reformed thinking. I have to be honest with you
- 0:03right out of the gate here. When I sat down to review the
- 0:06stack of sources for today's Deep dive, I genuinely thought
- 0:09there might have been a mistake. A mistake?
- 0:12How so? Well, I thought maybe I had
- 0:14picked up the wrong file or something because you know,
- 0:16usually on this show or wrestling with these massive
- 0:19high stakes theological knots. Sure.
- 0:22Things like the Trinity, covenant theology.
- 0:24Right, Big, complex topics. But today, the sources are
- 0:27pointing us to a qualification for leadership found in First
- 0:31Timothy 3.3 that feels, well, it feels like the bare minimum for
- 0:36being a civilized human being. It feels like a really low bar.
- 0:39An incredibly low bar. We're looking at the requirement
- 0:42that an elder or an overseer must be not violent.
- 0:46I mean, really, do we actually need a full hour to tell
- 0:49pastors, hey, don't punch the choir director?
- 0:51It feels like saying a requirement for being a pilot is
- 0:54try not to crash the plane on purpose.
- 0:56It just seems obvious. I get that, I really do.
- 0:59That's the first reaction most people have.
- 1:01On the surface, it does seem like a throwaway line doesn't.
- 1:04It it does. You just assume that if a man
- 1:07has gone through seminary and is standing in a pulpit, he
- 1:11probably isn't getting into fistfights in the parking lot
- 1:13after the service. You would hope not.
- 1:15But here's the reality. The sources we're looking at
- 1:17today, Gentle shepherds and the Shepherd's hands.
- 1:21They both argue that if you think this is just about
- 1:24physical brawling, you're missing about 90% of what Paul
- 1:28is actually doing in this text. OK, so I'm assuming we are not
- 1:31just talking about black eyes and broken noses then?
- 1:33We are definitely not. Think about it for a second.
- 1:35If Paul had to write this down, if the Holy Spirit inspired this
- 1:39specific restriction, it suggests that there's a type of
- 1:43violence that is much more subtle, much more common, and
- 1:47frankly, much more dangerous to the church.
- 1:49They can simple physical blow. More dangerous than a punch?
- 1:52Oh yes, because it's harder to see.
- 1:55We're talking about the character of the striker.
- 1:56A striker? OK, that sounds pretty ominous.
- 1:59It's the literal translation we're going to look at, and when
- 2:01you start to peel back the layers of this single
- 2:05qualification, you find it's not just about manners or having a
- 2:08good temperament. It connects directly to the
- 2:11Westminster Confession, to the nature of spiritual authority,
- 2:14and in the end, it gets to the very heart of whether a leader
- 2:18actually believes the gospel he claims to be preaching.
- 2:20Now that is a massive claim. You're saying a bad temper isn't
- 2:24just a personality flaw, it's a theological.
- 2:27Problem. I'm saying that according to
- 2:30these sources, it's a theological heresy that poses as
- 2:33a personality quirk. It's a deep seated denial of the
- 2:36gospel of grace, all right. That is a hook.
- 2:39I'm ready to be convinced. Let's get into the text itself.
- 2:42You mentioned the striker. Is that the actual word Paul is
- 2:44using here? It is the Greek word is
- 2:46plucktase. Plucktase.
- 2:47Right. And for those who enjoy the
- 2:48linguistic details, this is what scholars call a hapax Lego man
- 2:52in in the New Testament. A hapax, so it's rare.
- 2:55Extremely rare. It only shows up in these
- 2:58specific lists for elders in First Timothy and then again in
- 3:01Titus. It comes from the verb plessa,
- 3:03which means to smite or to hit. So if you translate it hyper
- 3:09literally, Paul is saying the overseer must not be a guy who,
- 3:13you know, throws hands. Which brings me back to my first
- 3:15point again. What's the early church just
- 3:17full of fight clubs? Why is this the word he reaches
- 3:21for? It feels so physical.
- 3:24Well, you have to put yourself in their shoes.
- 3:26Look at the cultural water they were swimming in.
- 3:28We tend to view a public loss of control as embarrassing, as a
- 3:32sign of weakness. Sure, you'd be mortified.
- 3:35But in the Greco Roman world, and even in some Jewish context
- 3:38of that time, physical force was seen differently.
- 3:40It could be seen as a valid rhetorical tool.
- 3:43Wait, valid? You could win an argument by
- 3:44hitting someone. That seems wild.
- 3:46Think about how public debates worked.
- 3:48The sources point out that a philosophical debate in the
- 3:50agora, the public square, didn't look like a modern academic
- 3:54conference. It wasn't.
- 3:55Polite. It was rowdy.
- 3:56It was rowdy. It was visceral.
- 3:58If you couldn't dominate your opponent with your intellect,
- 4:01physical intimidation was the next step up the ladder.
- 4:04It was seen by some as a sign of dominance, of alpha male
- 4:07strength. You overwhelm them with your
- 4:10argument, and if that doesn't work, you overwhelm them with
- 4:13your presence. So Paul is intentionally drawing
- 4:16a sharp line in the sand. He's saying the world's idea of
- 4:20a strong debater has no place in the church's view of a shepherd.
- 4:25Precisely. But the sources point out
- 4:27something fascinating from Plutarch, the Greek biographer.
- 4:31He wrote about this concept of the plot toes, but in the
- 4:33context of education of teaching.
- 4:36OK, how did he frame it? He said that for a teacher to
- 4:39strike a student was, and this is the key phrase, a failure of
- 4:42pedagogy. A failure of pedagogy.
- 4:44So you mean if you have to hit the kid it's because you aren't
- 4:47smart enough to actually teach him?
- 4:48That is the point. It's an admission of
- 4:50incompetence. It's a confession of failure.
- 4:52Violence is the tool you resort to when you have run out of
- 4:56wisdom, when your words have failed, when you've run out of
- 4:59persuasive arguments. So when Paul bans the Plutase
- 5:02from the pulpit, he's not just saying be nice or keep your
- 5:05hands to yourself. He is saying if you have to
- 5:08bully the sheep to get them to follow you, you aren't a
- 5:10shepherd, you are a failure as a teacher.
- 5:13That puts a completely different spin on it.
- 5:15It's not about being a hot head. It's about being incompetent.
- 5:18Violence is actually a confession that you don't know
- 5:21how to lead with words and with wisdom.
- 5:23That's the argument, the blow, whether it's physical or is an
- 5:27admission that your persuasion has failed.
- 5:29OK, now I want to look at the context here, because Paul
- 5:32doesn't just list these words randomly, they're always in
- 5:34relationship with each other. Where does Plutase sit in the
- 5:38list in First Timothy 3? The placement is incredibly
- 5:42instructive. You're right in First Timothy
- 5:433.3, not violently. Plutase is paired directly with,
- 5:47Not a drunkard. OK, not a drunkard.
- 5:49That seems like an interesting pairing.
- 5:51Why those two together? What's the connection?
- 5:53Well, think about the mechanics of drunkenness.
- 5:55What does alcohol do to a man's character?
- 5:57It lowers his inhibitions. It takes the filter off.
- 6:01It takes the filter off. It unmasks a lack of self
- 6:04governance. The sources argue.
- 6:06The link is all about a loss of control.
- 6:08The drunkard loses control of his faculties, of his speech, of
- 6:11his judgement. The violent man loses control of
- 6:14his temper, of his response to provocation.
- 6:17They're two sides of the same coin.
- 6:18The coin being a failure of self mastery.
- 6:21A failure of self mastery. They're both about letting a
- 6:24base impulse Dr. The bus instead of being governed by the Spirit.
- 6:28And what about in Titus? I know the lists are similar but
- 6:31not identical. In Titus 1.7 the grouping is
- 6:34even tighter and I think even more revealing.
- 6:37Not violent is put in a group with arrogant, quick tempered
- 6:41and greedy for gain. Wow, that's a rogues gallery of
- 6:45bad leadership traits right there.
- 6:46Arrogance, a bad temper, greed and violence.
- 6:50They all seem to feed each other, don't they?
- 6:51They absolutely do. An arrogant man thinks he
- 6:54deserves to get his way. When he doesn't, he becomes
- 6:56quick tempered. If that doesn't work, he might
- 6:58resort to violence to seize control.
- 7:00It's a downward spiral. But the text doesn't just give
- 7:02us negative, it gives us the positive alternative.
- 7:05It does, and this is the most illuminating part of the text,
- 7:09the contrast. Paul doesn't just tell us what
- 7:11the elder isn't, he tells us what he is.
- 7:14And the text contrasts violent with the Greek word epiechus.
- 7:19Epiechus, I've heard that translated a few ways, Gentle is
- 7:22common. What's the best way for us to
- 7:24understand it? Gentle is OK, but I agree it can
- 7:27sound a bit soft or weak to our modern ears.
- 7:30We think of someone who is passive, who can be pushed
- 7:33around a. Doormat.
- 7:34Right. And that's not what Paul means.
- 7:37A better translation might be equitable, or my personal
- 7:40favorite from the sources, sweetly reasonable.
- 7:42Sweetly reasonable. That's a beautiful phrase.
- 7:45Isn't it? Aristotle actually defined FBA
- 7:47keys as the willingness to waive the strict letter of the law for
- 7:50the sake of mercy. It's knowing when not to demand
- 7:53your full rights. So it's the opposite of the
- 7:54striker. The complete antithesis.
- 7:57Violence and gentleness are rival instincts.
- 7:59The violent man, the placos, demands his way.
- 8:02He insists on his rights. He pushes forward, creating
- 8:04friction. The gentleman, the Fbas, yields
- 8:07his rights for the sake of others.
- 8:09He absorbs friction instead of creating it.
- 8:11So we've established what the word mean and where it sits in
- 8:14the text, but I want to move to the theological Why?
- 8:17Why is this such a big deal to God?
- 8:19Why isn't this just a matter of, you know, personality?
- 8:22Some guys are loud, some guys are quiet.
- 8:24Why does this rise to the level of a non negotiable
- 8:27disqualification? This is where we have to zoom
- 8:30out and look at the covenantal shift between the Old and New
- 8:33Testaments. We have to look at how God views
- 8:36his people, the flock. The sources point us back to the
- 8:40Old Testament, specifically to Ezekiel 34.
- 8:43In that chapter, God brings what is effectively A lawsuit against
- 8:47the shepherds of Israel. He indicts them.
- 8:49A lawsuit and what's the charge? The charge in Ezekiel 34 verse 4
- 8:53is that they ruled the flock with force and harshness.
- 8:57Force and harshness. That sounds exactly like the
- 8:59striker we just defined. It is.
- 9:00It's the Old Testament equivalent.
- 9:02And God's judgement is severe, he says.
- 9:05Because of that harshness, the sheep were scattered, they were
- 9:07preyed upon, they were lost. God was furious with those
- 9:10shepherds. But then something changes in
- 9:12the new covenant. Something fundamental changes in
- 9:16acts 20, verse 28 Paul is giving his farewell address to the
- 9:20ephesian elders, and he tells them to pay careful attention to
- 9:25care for the Church of God, which he obtained with his own
- 9:28blood the. Blood.
- 9:29Price. The blood price that changes
- 9:31everything about property rights.
- 9:34Think of it this way. If you're a manager of a store
- 9:37and you carelessly break some merchandise, the owner might be
- 9:40annoyed. You might take it out of your
- 9:42paycheck. But if you were watching
- 9:44someone's child, a child they suffered for, a child they love
- 9:47more than life itself, and you mistreat that child, you are
- 9:52dealing with a completely different level of righteous
- 9:54fury. So the implication is you cannot
- 9:56treat precious blood bought property with carelessness or
- 9:59roughness. The value is just too high.
- 10:01Infinitely high violence treats the flock, is a thing to be
- 10:04controlled and resource to be managed or exploited.
- 10:06It denies Christ's ownership. It's a leader implicitly saying
- 10:09this is mine to do with as I please.
- 10:11But it isn't. It's his and he paid the
- 10:14ultimate price for it. To strike one of his sheep is to
- 10:16show contempt for the price he paid.
- 10:18OK. I want to pivot now to the
- 10:19systematic theology of this because the research notes
- 10:22mentioned something about sears of authority.
- 10:25I know in Reformed circles we talk a lot about the two
- 10:27kingdoms, the separation of church and state.
- 10:30But how does not violent fit into that whole framework?
- 10:35This is where it gets really interesting for your listeners
- 10:37who love the Westminster Confession.
- 10:40The Divine's the men who wrote the confession were meticulous
- 10:44about this. They made a massive distinction
- 10:45between two types of authority given by God, the authority of
- 10:49the sword and the authority of the keys.
- 10:51OK, the sword and the keys break those down for us.
- 10:53Who gets the sword? The civil magistrate, the
- 10:56government. Westminster Chapter 23 is clear.
- 10:59The government's job is to maintain public order and punish
- 11:01evil doers, and to do that, God gives them the sword.
- 11:05Which implies coercion. Force it does.
- 11:08If you break the law, the state has the God-given authority to
- 11:12physically restrain you, to find you, to imprison you.
- 11:15That is the proper function of the sword.
- 11:17It is coercive by design. Which makes sense.
- 11:19You can't just ask a bank robber nicely to please stop robbing
- 11:22the bank. You need the threat of force.
- 11:24Correct. But here's the rub.
- 11:27The Church, according to Chapter 30 of the Confession, does not
- 11:30hold the sword. The Church holds the authority
- 11:33of the keys. The key is to the Kingdom of
- 11:36Heaven. Yes, and that authority is
- 11:37exercised through the preaching of the Word and through the
- 11:40administration and church discipline.
- 11:42It is, and this is the key distinction, ministerial and
- 11:45declarative, not coercive. Ministerial, not coercive.
- 11:49So unpack that in a practical sense.
- 11:51Let's say a pastor is in a session meeting and he's yelling
- 11:54at his elders, or he slams a book on the table to make a
- 11:56point. What is happening theologically
- 11:59in that moment? The moment he does that, he is
- 12:01committing A profound category error.
- 12:04He is reaching for the sword. He is trying to use force, even
- 12:08if it's just emotional force or sheer volume, to compel
- 12:12obedience. He's trying to act like the
- 12:13government, not the church. He is confusing his tools, and
- 12:17the sources argue this is not just bad manners, it's actually
- 12:20an ecclesiological heresy. When a pastor intimidates the
- 12:23flock, he isn't just being a jerk, he is attempting to steal
- 12:27an authority that God is exclusively delegated to the
- 12:29civil magistrate. He's trying to rule by fear, but
- 12:32Christ's Kingdom is ruled by persuasion and love.
- 12:35And that leads directly to the issue of conscience, doesn't it?
- 12:38Westminster Chapter 20 is all about the liberty of conscience.
- 12:42It does. That chapter famously states God
- 12:44alone is Lord of the conscience. A violent elder, someone who
- 12:48rules by fear, intimidation or manipulation, binds the
- 12:52consciences of his people to himself.
- 12:53Instead of to God. Instead of to Christ, he forces
- 12:56people to obey him. Rather than God, he usurps
- 12:59Christ's unique role. If I obey my pastor simply
- 13:02because I am terrified of his temper, I'm not rendering
- 13:04obedience to Christ. I am serving a man's ego.
- 13:08My conscience has been taken captive by fear, not by the
- 13:10Word. That is a chilling thought, that
- 13:13a bad temper is actually a form of usurping Christ's headship.
- 13:17But I want to get very practical here because I think most of us,
- 13:21when we hear violent pastor, we imagine a movie villain, we
- 13:24imagine the guy flipping tables in the temple.
- 13:27But the sources suggest the striker is often much more
- 13:29subtle. Oh, much more subtle and
- 13:31honestly much more damaging in the long run because it's harder
- 13:34to pin down and confront The sources.
- 13:37Break this down into what they call an anatomy of violence.
- 13:40OK, let's walk through that anatomy.
- 13:42What does this look like on a Tuesday morning staff meeting,
- 13:45not just in a bar fight? Well, let's start with a
- 13:48physical, but not the contact sport kind.
- 13:51Think about territorial violence.
- 13:54The sources talk about the use of physical space to intimidate.
- 13:57What do you mean by that? Does the pastor loom when
- 14:00someone disagrees with him in a meeting?
- 14:01Does he stand up while they remain seated?
- 14:03Oh, that's a classic power move. I've seen that in the corporate
- 14:06world 1000 times. It's a total dominance move.
- 14:10It's non verbally communicating. I am bigger and more powerful
- 14:13than you. Or another example the sources
- 14:16give is blocking the exit. Imagine a counseling scenario.
- 14:20Maybe a woman in a small office with a male pastor.
- 14:23If he positions his chair or his body between her and the door,
- 14:27he's introduced A subtle physical threat into the room.
- 14:29Wow, he's saying without words, You are trapped here until I say
- 14:33we are done. And that triggers A primal fight
- 14:36or flight response in the nervous system.
- 14:38You can't even hear the advice he's giving because your brain
- 14:40is just screaming danger unsafe. He has created an unsafe
- 14:45environment which is the exact opposite of what a shepherd
- 14:47should do. It is.
- 14:49And then there is the violence of the tongue.
- 14:51And I don't just mean yelling. Yelling is obvious.
- 14:53The sources use this incredible phrase Truth without patience.
- 14:57Truth without patience that sticks out.
- 14:59What does that mean in practice? It means using a Bible verse
- 15:02like a bludgeon. You might be technically
- 15:05theologically correct in the proposition you are stating, but
- 15:08if you deliver that truth with contempt, if you use it to shut
- 15:11someone down rather than to build them up, you are being
- 15:14violent. You are using the Word of God to
- 15:17win an argument rather than to win your brother.
- 15:19It's weaponizing the Bible, using the text not as a scalpel
- 15:22for healing, but as a club for beating.
- 15:25It is. This also often manifests as
- 15:27sarcasm. We often dismiss sarcasm is just
- 15:30a personality type, a specific kind of humor.
- 15:34But the root of the word sarcastine means to tear flesh.
- 15:38It is designed to belittle, to wound.
- 15:40A leader who relies on sarcasm to keep his subordinates in line
- 15:44is a violent leader. Period.
- 15:45What about emotional or relational violence?
- 15:47This feels even more subtle. This is where we get into the
- 15:49idea of domineering, which Peter warns against in First Peter 5.
- 15:53This is retaliation. Someone disagrees with you
- 15:55publicly, so you freeze them out privately.
- 15:57Silent treatment. The silent treatment, or
- 16:01isolating critics or threatening relationships.
- 16:05You make it clear that if people cross you, they will lose your
- 16:07favor, maybe even their place in the community.
- 16:09You create a culture of fear. And this is where we get the
- 16:12false peace. I read that part in the notes,
- 16:15the idea that silence doesn't equal unity.
- 16:17Right. This is so deceptive.
- 16:19You walk into a church and nobody is arguing.
- 16:22The board meetings are short and efficient.
- 16:24The votes are always unanimous and an outsider might think,
- 16:27wow, look at the unity God has given this church.
- 16:29But it's not real unity. It's not, the sources say.
- 16:32You have to scratch the surface. Is it genuine spirit LED unity
- 16:37or is it a hostage situation? Are people agreeing because they
- 16:41are joyfully aligned with the vision, or are they agreeing
- 16:44because they know that anyone who raises A dissenting hand
- 16:47gets their head bitten off? It's a piece born of terror.
- 16:49It's the piece of walking on egg shells.
- 16:52That is the universal symptom of a violent leader.
- 16:54If the staff, the elders of the family feel like their primary
- 16:57job is to manage the leaders emotional state to avoid an
- 17:01explosion, you have a plac dose in the pulpit.
- 17:03And finally, there's a category. The source is called spiritual
- 17:06violence or spiritual abuse. This is perhaps the most
- 17:09grievous form because it weaponizes God himself.
- 17:13It is when a leader uses the phrase God says to enforce his
- 17:17own personal preferences or administrative decisions.
- 17:20God told me we need a new building, and if you question
- 17:23it, you're questioning God. That's a classic example.
- 17:26Or threatening God's judgement on someone for disagreeing with
- 17:29their strategy. It's treating people as means to
- 17:32an end, as resources, as labor, money, attendance numbers,
- 17:36rather than as souls to be shepherded and cared for.
- 17:40So we have defined the striker, we've looked at the theology and
- 17:43we've seen what it looks like in practice.
- 17:45But we're a Christian show and we need to get to the very
- 17:47center of this. We need to talk about Christ.
- 17:49How does this qualification connect directly to the person
- 17:52and work of Jesus? This is the law and gospel
- 17:55application of the whole issue. First we have to look at the
- 17:58pattern of Christ. Jesus had every right in the
- 18:01universe to be the ultimate plague, the ultimate striker.
- 18:04He had all authority. All authority in Matthew 26 in
- 18:09Garden Gethsemane. As he's being arrested, he tells
- 18:12his disciples he could have called on his father and be
- 18:14given 12 legions of angels. Instantly He had the ability to
- 18:18strike down his enemies with a word.
- 18:19But he didn't. He absolutely did not.
- 18:22First, Peter 2.23 gives us the pattern.
- 18:25When he was reviled, he did not revile in return.
- 18:28When he suffered, he did not threaten.
- 18:30He absorbed the violence of the world into his own body.
- 18:33So the logic for the elder is simple.
- 18:35Inescapable. The under shepherd must resemble
- 18:38the master Shepherd. A shepherd is supposed to smell
- 18:40like the pasture and the sheep, not like the battlefield.
- 18:43If Jesus, who had all authority, laid down his rights in his
- 18:46power to save the sheep, how can an elder who only has a
- 18:50derivative and temporary authority dare to use force to
- 18:53control them? And this brings us to the law
- 18:54and gospel distinction you mentioned earlier.
- 18:56Right. The law, the command be not
- 18:59violent. It condemns us.
- 19:01It shows us what's in our natural heart.
- 19:03Every single man has a striker inside him.
- 19:06We all want to win arguments. We all want to control our
- 19:09environment. We all have that flash of rage
- 19:11when we're crossed. The law exposes that.
- 19:14But the gospel. The gospel is the good news that
- 19:16Christ died for violent men, and you don't have to look any
- 19:20further than the man who wrote these words to Timothy, Apostle
- 19:24Paul. Saul of Tarsus.
- 19:26Before Christ met him on the road to Damascus, what was he?
- 19:29He was a violent persecutor, Acts says.
- 19:31He was breathing out threats and murder against the disciples of
- 19:34the Lord. He was the quintessential
- 19:36striker. So Paul isn't writing this from
- 19:38some position of moral superiority.
- 19:41He's writing as a converted striker, a man saved from his
- 19:43own violence. That's it.
- 19:45A man meets his qualification not by white knuckling his
- 19:47temper and just trying harder. He meets it by being united to
- 19:51Christ. The old man, the striker, is
- 19:54crucified with Christ. The new man is raised in the
- 19:56gentleness and patience of Christ.
- 19:58And you mentioned a connection to the Atonement itself.
- 20:01Yes, and this is so critical. If we truly believe in
- 20:05justification by faith alone, then we cannot demand
- 20:08righteousness from others through force.
- 20:10Say that again, that connects our doctrine to our behavior in
- 20:13a really practical way. If we believe that we are saved
- 20:16by grace, not by our own works or our own ability to be
- 20:20righteous, then we know we can't force anyone else to be good.
- 20:24We can't beat righteousness into people.
- 20:26We can't scare them into holiness.
- 20:28The war is over. Romans 8 says there is no
- 20:31condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
- 20:34Therefore, there should be no coercion from those who lead His
- 20:36church. Our methods must match our
- 20:39message. OK, now I can hear a listener,
- 20:41maybe a guy who is a bit more naturally aggressive or zealous,
- 20:45saying, wait a minute here. Are you saying elders have to be
- 20:48soft? Are we supposed to just let
- 20:50heretics run wild in the church? What happened to being bold and
- 20:53contending for the faith? We need to make some careful
- 20:55distinctions here. Not violent doesn't mean
- 20:57doormat. That is an absolutely necessary
- 20:59clarification. The sources are very, very clear
- 21:02on this point. Not violent does not mean
- 21:05pacifist. When it comes to heresy or
- 21:07serious sin, Biblical firmness is not just an option, it's a
- 21:11requirement of the office. So elders are called to fight in
- 21:14a sense. They are.
- 21:16Titus 1.9 is explicit. An elder must hold firm to the
- 21:20trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give
- 21:23instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who
- 21:26contradict it. Elders must rebuke wolves.
- 21:30They must refute error. So what is the difference?
- 21:32What's the line between biblical firmness and sinful violence?
- 21:36How do you rebuke a wolf without becoming a striker yourself?
- 21:38It comes down to two things, the goal and the method.
- 21:41The goal of firmness is the good of the person being rebuked and
- 21:44the purity of the church. The goal of violence is the
- 21:47protection of the leader's ego and control.
- 21:49And the method. Firmness relies on the authority
- 21:51of Scripture. Violence relies on the force of
- 21:53personality and pressure. Firmness appeals to the
- 21:56conscience with God's Word. Violence tries to overwhelm the
- 21:59will with fear. I like the image the source
- 22:01material gave. Firmness can weep while it
- 22:04warns. Violence smirks while it wounds.
- 22:07That is the tell, isn't it? When you are in the act of
- 22:09correcting someone, does it break your heart for them, or
- 22:13does it secretly feed your pride that you were right?
- 22:15Is there grief in your voice or a swagger in your step?
- 22:17And this applies to formal church discipline too.
- 22:20Absolutely. Church discipline must be
- 22:22measured. As Paul says in 2nd Corinthians
- 22:242, it must always aim for restoration, not destruction.
- 22:28The moment discipline stops being a redemptive process and
- 22:31starts being a tool to silence a critic or protect the
- 22:34institution's reputation, it has crossed the line into sinful
- 22:38domination. And the sources also addressed
- 22:40this toxic masculinity angle explicitly.
- 22:43There's a certain kind of culture that can crop up around
- 22:45this. They do.
- 22:46They directly reject what they called a young, restless and
- 22:49Reformed era where in some circles bullying was excused as
- 22:52boldness. There was this idea floating
- 22:54around that being a jerk for Jesus was a sign of theological
- 22:58conviction. Right that being harsh was a
- 23:00sign you really cared about the truth.
- 23:02But the sources argue that's a complete distortion of biblical
- 23:05manhood. True biblical masculinity uses
- 23:09strengths to protect the weak. It does not use it to pulverize
- 23:12them. A man who cannot control his
- 23:15temper is not a strong man. He is a weak man, enslaved by
- 23:19his own passions. Gentleness is a fruit of the
- 23:22Spirit, a sign of true strength under control.
- 23:25OK, so let's get really practical for our listeners.
- 23:27Let's say I'm a church member or I'm on a pastor search
- 23:30committee. How do I spot this?
- 23:32Because presumably a candidate is going to be on their absolute
- 23:35best behavior during the interview process.
- 23:38They're not going to be flipping payables in the fellowship hall
- 23:40while we're asking them about their soteriology.
- 23:43How do we test for this not violent qualification?
- 23:47This is the diagnostic section, and it's so crucial the sources
- 23:50suggest a few specific practical tests.
- 23:53The 1st is what they call the conflict test.
- 23:54The conflict test. Don't just ask if he behaves
- 23:57when things are going his way. Everyone is nice when they're
- 23:59getting what they want. You have to watch him when he is
- 24:01crossed. When someone tells him no.
- 24:03Exactly. Or when someone offers a
- 24:05critique of his sermon or questions one of his decisions,
- 24:09what is his immediate gut level reaction?
- 24:12Does he listen? Does he ask clarifying questions
- 24:14to make sure he understands? Does he show humility or does he
- 24:18immediately escalate? Does he get defensive?
- 24:21Does he try to punish the person who disagreed, maybe with a
- 24:24sarcastic comment or by shutting them down?
- 24:27That's a great test. A person's character isn't
- 24:29revealed in agreement, but in disagreement.
- 24:31That's right, the second test is the home test.
- 24:34If a man does not know how to manage his own household.
- 24:37How will he care for God's church?
- 24:40First Timothy 3.5 The home is the proving ground.
- 24:44It's the laboratory of a man's character.
- 24:47But we have to be careful here. We aren't looking for a
- 24:48perfectly silent Victorian family where the children are
- 24:51seen and not heard. That can be its own form of
- 24:54tyranny. Because what are we looking for?
- 24:55We're looking at the dynamic. Is there joy, is there grace, or
- 24:58is there fear in the eyes of his wife and children?
- 25:01Does his family feel safe to fail, to disagree, to be
- 25:04themselves? Or do they feel like they have
- 25:06to constantly perform to keep Dad happy?
- 25:09Is the father a tyrant? That's the question.
- 25:12Biblical headship is sacrificial.
- 25:14It's about dying for your bride, not terrifying her.
- 25:18The sources are blunt about this.
- 25:20If the children flinch when the father raises his hand, you do
- 25:24not put that man in the pulpit. That's heavy.
- 25:26And then there's the reputation test, right?
- 25:28Talk to people. Don't just talk to the
- 25:30references he provides. Talk to outsiders, talk to
- 25:33former subordinates, former colleagues.
- 25:36And here's a key distinction the sources make.
- 25:38You have to distinguish between a man who is genuinely repented
- 25:41of a bad temper and a man who has just gotten better at hiding
- 25:45it. What's the defense?
- 25:46Repentance leaves a long, observable track record of new
- 25:50patterns of gentleness. Concealment just leaves a trail
- 25:53of silence and broken relationships.
- 25:56A repentant man will own his past failures.
- 25:58A concealer will blame others or minimize them.
- 26:01The source is also warned about something they call the
- 26:03pragmatism trap. I think this is where a lot of
- 26:06churches get into big trouble. It's so common.
- 26:08It's the temptation to hire the strongman because he gets things
- 26:11done. Maybe the church finances are a
- 26:13mess or attendance is dropping and the search committee thinks
- 26:16we need a guy who can come in here and clean house.
- 26:19We need a shark, a real CEO type.
- 26:21But the sources say results do not justify ungodly methods.
- 26:25You can't separate the what from the how.
- 26:26You can't. A wolf is not a strong shepherd.
- 26:29He might increase the budget. He might get a new building
- 26:32built. But if in the process he
- 26:34scatters the sheep, wounds the consciences of the flock, and
- 26:38creates a culture of fear, he has failed the biblical mandate.
- 26:42You cannot trade character for competence.
- 26:44The character qualification comes first.
- 26:46So what if we fail the test? What if a church realizes, uh
- 26:51oh, our pastor is a striker? What is the remedial action?
- 26:54Well, first and foremost, the sources are clear.
- 26:57A pattern of violence, whether it's physical, verbal, or
- 27:00emotional bullying, disqualifies a man from office.
- 27:03It isn't a growth area to work on while he stays in the pulpit.
- 27:06It is a disqualifier according to the Word of God.
- 27:08What if it's physical? What if actual laws are broken?
- 27:11The sources are very firm on this.
- 27:13If laws are broken, physical assault, domestic abuse,
- 27:17anything like that, the state must be involved.
- 27:20Remember the distinction of authority.
- 27:21The state holds the sword for justice.
- 27:23It is not betrayal or gossip to report crimes to the police.
- 27:27It is actually honoring God's ordained institution of civil
- 27:31government. The church handles the spiritual
- 27:33discipline. The state handles the criminal
- 27:35justice. They are separate but necessary.
- 27:38And what about restoration? Can a violent man be restored to
- 27:42ministry? We need real nuance here.
- 27:44Restoration to fellowship with genuine repentance always.
- 27:48The gospel is for everyone, including failed pastors.
- 27:51But restoration to office? That is a very different
- 27:55question. Because eldership is a trust,
- 27:57not a right. Exactly.
- 27:58It's a trust, and some sins, by their very nature, permanently
- 28:02break that trust in a public way.
- 28:03It's like the teacher who hits the student.
- 28:05You might forgive that teacher, but you probably aren't going to
- 28:07let them back into the classroom with your kids.
- 28:09The trust is gone. So if it were to happen, it
- 28:12would need to be a long long Rd. Any potential return to office
- 28:16would require long term observable fruit of gentleness.
- 28:19We are talking years, not weeks or months.
- 28:23An apology, even a tearful 1, is not enough.
- 28:26The character has to be fundamentally rebuilt by the
- 28:29Spirit from the ground up, and that takes time for the fruit to
- 28:32grow and be tested. As we move toward the end of our
- 28:35time together, I want to talk about how this integrates into
- 28:38our corporate life as a church. The sources mentioned that our
- 28:42liturgy, the way we worship on a Sunday morning, actually trains
- 28:46us out of violence. I find that fascinating.
- 28:48I love this part because it shows that Sunday morning isn't
- 28:51just a lecture. It's a formative practice.
- 28:54It's spiritual formation. Think about the songs we sing.
- 28:57When we sing song 46, he breaks the bow and shatters the spear.
- 29:00We are corporately reminding ourselves that God is the
- 29:03warrior. God is the one who fights for
- 29:05his people. So we don't have to be.
- 29:07Right. It quiets the striker spirit
- 29:08within us. If God is my defender, if God is
- 29:10writing for me, I don't need to fight for myself in simple ways.
- 29:13My defensiveness can melt away. Then there is our corporate
- 29:17confession of sin. We should be confessing specific
- 29:20sins of the temper and the tongue.
- 29:22Not just we have sinned, but Lord, we confess that we have
- 29:25murdered with our tongues this week.
- 29:27We have torn others down with our words.
- 29:29Forgive us. And finally, the Lord's Supper.
- 29:32The ultimate sermon against violence.
- 29:34Christ was broken so we could be made whole.
- 29:36His body was struck so ours wouldn't have to be.
- 29:39The sources talk about the practice of fencing the table,
- 29:41publicly warning the unrepentant abuser not to partake for their
- 29:45own good. It's a protection for the church
- 29:47and for the Sinner, but for the repentant, the Supper is where
- 29:51we come to feed on the grace of the gentle shepherd who laid
- 29:54down his life for us. This has been a really deep dive
- 29:57into just two little words from First Timothy.
- 30:00Not violent me pluck days, but it opens up a whole world of
- 30:04theology, ecclesiology and practical Christian living.
- 30:08It really does. It shows us that this isn't some
- 30:10low bar or throwaway line. This qualification is a vital
- 30:14protection for the precious blood bot sheep of Christ and
- 30:18it's a non negotiable requirement for any man who
- 30:20would dare to represent the Prince of Peace.
- 30:22To wrap this all up, the sources suggest a diagnostic question
- 30:25for you, the listener, to consider this week, and it
- 30:28applies whether you're a leader, a parent, a boss, or just a
- 30:31friend. The question is this do the
- 30:34people around you obey you or agree with you because they are
- 30:37genuinely persuaded by your love and your example, or because
- 30:41they are afraid of your reaction if they don't?
- 30:43That is the question, yeah. The answer reveals whether we
- 30:46are walking in the way of the striker or in the way of the
- 30:49shepherd. Thanks for listening to Reformed
- 30:51Thinking.