Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #310: Stop Waiting for Validation

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Episode #310: Stop Waiting for Validation · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, welcome to tea time with the Amy and Bev.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: How's it going, girl.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: It's going, it's going. It's going good. Man, Yeah, I
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: would say life.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Is going good.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: It's I have more clarity, and clarity makes things feel
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: a little bit different, a lot different, true. So I'm
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: just kind of playing that with that, and then really
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: we've kind of finished off with the last thing. But
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: really being my own cheerleader, really learning to love my
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: own self, learning what that looks like.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's sitting and massaging my feet.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's sitting and watching TikTok for a little bit,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: if that's what makes me feel good, you know, if
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: it's whatever. Because I always set my intentions before I
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: do any that stuff anyways, Like I want bring me
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: the best information I could possibly use at this time.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: That's good, you know, for the greatest good or whatever.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: So I like to do a lot of that stuff.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm really learning how to walk with myself, be
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: happy with myself, not judge myself because I didn't do
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: what somebody else wanted me to do, walk through the
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: processes of you know, feeling feeling the guilt from the
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: old patterns from childhood because I'm not doing what I
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: what I think someone else what expects of me, right
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: reading their mind. I've recognized millions of times now that
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I think I must have had to read my mom's
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: mind a lot at being a kid or those around me,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: and then knowing that I could do all those things,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: and then cutting it all off, you know, later on,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: not even recognizing how I cut myself off from all that,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: but I did. It wasn't It's not was not anybody else.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Because yet, as a child, I could have chose something different.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: I really could have been a lot in a lot
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: of different perspectives. I could have chose things differently.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Maybe I did.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: At the time, I know that I chose the best
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: that I possibly could. But now I look back and
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I know that we can change a lot of those experiences,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: which you also kind of touched on last video. We
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: can change a lot of those experiences just by how
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: we perceive it. So because from the child perspective, our
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: perception was a little bit more Mom, he keeps poking me,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: or she keeps picking on me, So we're tattle telling
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: them because we're blaming somebody else instead of realizing that
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: our energy was in the space at that time that
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: actually welcome that kind of behavior, not even knowing. I
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: think if I when I come back again, because if
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I do, I'm going to come back to parents that
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: are already aware of all this stuff and then help
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: grow and nurture all these abilities instead of having to
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: go the opposite direction of like, yeah, I think I
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: signed up because I want to go ahead and do
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: it the hard way. And yeah, that's and so I did.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Girl, you mean both. I think that's what the gen
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: X gen X generation is all about. It was funny
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: because I did this morning watched a TikTok video about
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: gen X and how we were when we were growing up.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: He started out with, Yeah, we're waking up. Gen X
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: is waking up. We want to We're tired, we want
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: to rest, we want to recover.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: But you.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: People, I'm gonna use nice words. You people are not
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: making it easiest for us, and we have to wake
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: back up. But you're talking about a generation that was right.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And then he goes through the whole thing about what
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: our generation did growing up, complete survival skills, like we
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: were you know, our road rash as a badge of honor,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: and you know we sucked it. Up and we just
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: kept on playing on the asphalt like all the things,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Like I can just totally rattle off the things that
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: we did as you know, when I was grown up,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: and and anyway it is, it's like we are, we're tired,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: we want to rest. We are here, we are in
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: our healing phase now, but very easily we can go
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: right back into survival and and you know, we don't
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: give up. And that's one of the biggest things is
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: that we were taught to persevere no matter what, no
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: matter what. And that's one of the things that I
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: am grateful that I had instilled in me is is
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: you you keep showing up. And my spirit, girl, my
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: spirit was strong in that department because there were so
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: many times I wanted to throw in the town and
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: say I am done, and I thought about every way
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: possible to not be here. It was a couple people
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: in my life, not by direct conversation, but just thinking
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: about them that kept me here. And that's to me
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: is perseverance, like you you will keep going and you
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: will figure this out. And yeah it sucks right now,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: but you're gonna you're gonna get through it.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we just plowed through it like that was there
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: was no other way.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, even though like you said, there was sometimes
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: it was like laying down crying or you know, I
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: walked a lot of the same path that you did,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: you know, trying, you know, not wanting to be here.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: But somehow I always feel like there was angels around me.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: And I didn't even understand that until fully, until later
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: on almost flipping my car. There was like so many
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: things that because you know, I was one of those
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: kind of rebellious teenagers. So yeah, thank god it was
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: a small town. But it's s stame. I always feel
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: like there was something that was there guiding and protecting,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: even though I didn't understand right right.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: And you know, so when you say be my own cheerleader,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: there are so many things. I didn't have this vocabulary,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: be my own cheerleader, or self love or angels or
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: guides or you know, energy. You didn't have all that
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: when we were growing up, none of it. The only
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: thing we knew of was uh, friends going to church,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: and I didn't go to church, like my family didn't
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: go to church and U so but back then though,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: it was more on the guilt tripping side of what
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: was taught in church. I think it's starting to transform.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Now I'm not sure. I still don't go. Uh, but
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: to be my own cheerleader, I don't know what the
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: hell that meant. I was like, I would look at
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: you and be like, what are you talking about? You know,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: this sucks, this is what I'm facing, and have not
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: a clue what this actually meant. Be my own cheerleader. No,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: it's my mom's job, it's my you know, biological dad
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: who I've never met, it's my stepdad's, it's my grandparents' job.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: It's like all these other people need to be cheering
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: me on because but you know what, if if any
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: of them, even the people in my life, if any
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: of them knew the things the journey I walk, they
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: would probably be surprised that I am still here. It's like,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: and it's it's it's not just the physical stuff. It
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: is the mental and emotional stuff that I endured in myself,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: and that the pain and agony and suffering that I
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: caused myself in my head because I didn't know how
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: else to deal with it.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: So for that, yeah, so for that today, Yeah, I
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: am my own cheerleader. I look in the mirror and say,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: you know what, you're doing a great job. You might
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: be you might be feeling some frustration and irritation right now,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: but you know what, at least you're not going out
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: to the bar and getting smashed and then getting up
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: tomorrow and doing the same thing. Like, yeah, you know,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: there there's so many things that I do. I look
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: in the mirror and I'm like, man, you're you are
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: doing amazing compared to and I can only compare myself
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: to who I used to be, compared to where you were,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: and compared to where you are now. Girls, you are
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: freaking dynamic, right, So it's like, yeah, talking to ourselves
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: about that.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: And I've been doing that otherwise, waiting around for someone
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: else to cheer lead to. You know, when I was
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: growing up because I was I was a black sheeper,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: the rebellious child.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: How come you can't just cook good grades like your sister?
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: How come you can't just do this? How can you mean?
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: It's like I was never meant to do any of
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: those things. And it's not anything against anybody at all.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: It's just if I was waiting for them to cheer
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: me on, they weren't gonna cheer me on.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Well, I wasn't getting them things to.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Cheer me on about, really, because I was having my
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: own battle insight always. And so if we wait around
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: for something like that, we're always gonna be waiting, and
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: then we're always gonna be feeling like we weren't good
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: enough or we didn't you know. I was even just
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: talking yesterday about you know, I was always picked over.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: You know, I was, Oh, she's too white, she's too this,
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: she's too that, too tall, too, whatever, all these things.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: When I was growing up, I was always it seemed,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: in a relationship standpoint, and it's like that kind of
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: those were patterns, and it's like I was carrying that
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: along with me still, and it's like those are patterns.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: And when I look at it as a pattern, I
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: don't have to carry it anymore. It doesn't for me.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: It's like it totally disables. It's it's just a pattern.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I don't have to continue walking that path anymore. And
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: then I do, like you said, I do. I'd never
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: did it before, but I do it now, and I'll
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: get in the mirror and I talk to myself and
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I say things to myself, and it's pretty fascinating when
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: you start doing that stuff because you start noticing that
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: the reflection is changing the more you start talking to yourself. Yeah,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: there's something there, so much bigger. It makes my eyes water,
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: makes me feel a little bit of emotions. It's like, eh,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: they see me or she sees me.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been here the whole time.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's the alignment right when we feel like
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: things are going crazy, like when we were talking in
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: the last video, when there's a couple you know timeframe
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: that we're filling all these feelings that aren't feeling you know,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: feelings of angst instead of feeling joyful and happy. It's
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: it kind of holds us back. It kind of keeps
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: us stuck in that space, and it's it's an unnecessary
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: it's unnecessary. We do it to ourselves, and it's just
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: to be in that process of recognizing again they're just patterns.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: How can I let I mean, it's and then you
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: ask your questions, how can I let this go? But
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: for me, like I said, I've just made it more neutral,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: And I say that's a pattern. Oh that's I just
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: received information. Oh that's a pattern, that's my thoughts. So
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: it's like I'm kind of returning the power back to
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: myself and then being able to by doing that, now
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, you're doing a great job.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: So now I'm can get in from the mirror and
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: tell myself I'm doing a great job.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: But I can totally see everything.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Like I said, started to say, I can totally see everything.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: My eyes changed, the light in my eyes changed, the reflection,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: the my complexion, everything starts to shift.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Things are starting to change.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Just by It's like just by taking that time to
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: acknowledge yourself. And I'm saying this now because I'm kind
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: of surprised too, because I have noticed these things and
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: it's like, that's all it took. Was that's that's self love.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: That's like, that's part of it. I mean, that's one
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: of the one of the pieces of it. But us
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: being at eble to even look at yourself in the mirror.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: We're talking to it Gal yesterday that she would be
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: talking and she'd look, you know, look up in a way,
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: and it's like, I remember those days.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: And I even told her about I said.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Hey, I went through this retreat one time, and I
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: said it really it really changed a lot of things
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: because I said, we had to sit with our knees
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: touching someone else and sit across from a person touching
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: their face looking him in the eyes the whole time.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: And that was not a process for me. That was
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: not my pattern, because my pattern was to look away,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: don't look into don't look into their eyes for too long,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: You're gonna die. I don't know what I was thinking,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: but it's I tried to avoid a lot of those things.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, it's really been a journey.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Well, and now we go back and look at all
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: those experiences where those people were not cheering us on.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: First of all, they didn't know how to right. They're
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: all trying to figure life out too, and how to
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: raise children, and nobody gets the playbook on that. But
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: in that we have learned how to do it ourselves.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: And so instead of trying to rely on other people
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: to cheer us on, we learned to do it ourselves
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: self acceptance, and when somebody is cheering you on, somebody
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: does give you kudos. Somebody says, hey, you are doing
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: a good job, or or hey, I like the way
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: when somebody compliments you. Typically, even to these days, I've
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: reached higher milestones and I have been receiving awards and stuff,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and people are coming up and congratulating me and all this,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: and still inside me, I feel the discomfort of receiving
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: those compliments. And that's what we do, right. We might
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: cheer ourselves on, but when somebody outside of us reflects
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: that too and and compliments us and cheers us on,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: we don't know how to receive it from other people
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: because we didn't have it before in our life. That
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: is a pattern. Now it's okay for me to do it,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: just like it was okay for me to beat myself
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: up and put myself down. But when somebody outside of me,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: a friend, a coworker, a family member, a spouse, a child,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: compliments me or says something negative about me, it's not okay. Right.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: We push it away. We're like, you can't do that.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: That's not comfortable. I don't know what that But internally,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: what our system or subconscious mind and our body is
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: saying is we're not used to this. We're not used
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: to being acknowledged for good things. We're not used to
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: having somebody see us for the things that we are
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: doing that are good, right, because we always got in trouble,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: and now somebody seeing us for something that we're doing good,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: and we still don't know how to receive that compliment.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: So it is it's it's again, it's unlearning the way
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: we've been learning a new process. Learning to receive is huge.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: A compliment is a receiving, a receiving of a gift.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: A compliment is a gift. And so learning to receive
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: the gifts and be okay with that, to receive with
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: gratitude instead of push it away and oh no, it's okay.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Oh you didn't have to say that. Oh thanks, But
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: these are the things that we typically do because it's
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable to our system and I like our parasympathetic nervous system.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable. We don't know how to be in that
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: space of receiving compliments and and and so it's like, okay,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: well you practice in the mirror by being your own cheerleader.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And when you are focused on that, when you are
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: focused on when I am focused on the things that
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I see in myself that are great qualities, good behaviors,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: whatever we want to title them, then people outside of
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: us will start reflecting that too, and they see that
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: stuff within you and they voice it to you, and
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: it's a like a validation or confirmation of what you're
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: seeing in yourself. So it's like, yes, of course they're
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: going to see that in you because you see it
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: in you. And so now you're training yourself to treat
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: yourself in a better way, which means that people outside
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: of you are gonna do the same thing. They're gonna
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: mirror your behavior towards yourself. That is what we do.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: It's an energetic manifestation, and we attract the people to
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: see what we see within ourselves. So if you are
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: putting yourself down in your thoughts and you're beating yourself
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: up for things that you've done and do it, of
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: course people are going to show up to tell you
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: those same things. You're a piece of shit, you're worthless,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: you're dumb, you're an idiot. Like, they're going to show
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: up and say the same things. But it's not okay
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: that they do it because they don't have the right
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: to do that. Well, they are mirroring what you're doing
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to yourself. This is what we do for each other.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: So back to the gratitude, Thank you, gay, I've got
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: goosebumps on that. So yeah, I'm in agreeance with it
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: as well. It rings this truth for.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Me, and it's it's a reminder for myself as well,
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: because inside, you know, I've recently received a prestigious award
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: and afterwards, people are coming up to me saying, congratulations.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Your speech resonated with me. I I appreciate the things
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: that you like. I'm just like, this is unfamiliar territory
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: for me. I've not ever been in this position before,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: and now I have to program my system, my parasympathetic
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: nervous system to be to feel safe and okay, that's
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: on me. Yeah, And it's and when you're doing things
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: that are unfamiliar, your body is reacting in ways that
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: you're like, what is happening right now? I don't know
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: right well?
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: And am trying to process it with the old patterns
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: right with those with these new feelings, and there's like
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: the new feelings are you can't process it with the
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: old patterns.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: It doesn't work right.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: And you have to learn to train yourself to say,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: and I do this on a regular basis. I am okay,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: and I am safe even with things that are good.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: People complimenting me is good, it's good. I just am
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: learning to receive it in a different way. So I
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: have to train myself. I have to program myself that
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: this is a space to be okay in and be safe. Yeah,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: you know what we are such I say at all
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: the time. We are interesting creatures. We are so interesting,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: and you gotta just learn to know. You gotta learn
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: the operations. No different than a computer. The computer has
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: back ends, right, the cookies, the cash, the programs that
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: are running in the background, like, it has all these things.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: And if you don't know about them, or you don't
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: know how to clear it up or do it, then
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: your computer goes all wonky, it slows down, it you
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: get you get malware, you get all these things. Like
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: things happen if you don't know the system or you
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: don't get somebody to help you with your system. And
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: that's what we are. Only we're human. We are so
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: like a computer system. We're so in parallel with a
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: computer system. And when when you get frustrated with your
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: computer or it's working dynamically and the internet's great and
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: all the things, recognize how you see that within yourself
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: it's the same. But the thing is, we can change
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: our programming, we can change our systems.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: But we have to do that.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: That's one hundred percent. And I do think that we
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: are quite similar as computers. And I have recently even
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: thought about, oh, mustle downloaded the virus?
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: It's because we get around people and we don't recognize
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: how much we can kind of settle into their energy
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: and then we bring it home with us, we walk
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: around with it, and so we don't recognize that. But
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: it is it's the same thing. So when you said that,
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, that's right. I mean, I just probably
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: the last couple of weeks had.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Recognized the viruses.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I never thought about the viruses before, but I thought
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: about defragmentation and you know, having to go in and
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: clean up the system because it's you got files laying
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: all over the place, and you can see that externally
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: in your house, you know, you can see it. It's
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: you're outside. Is the reflection of the inside, Like you said,
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: the people that show up. How you're talking to yourself now,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: it's making me want to go like every day being
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: the mirror. Like you're doing such a great job.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: The thing is we've what my mind has just kind
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: of showed me is we've seen like movies and stuff
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: like that of the guy the person doing the cellf
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: help book, You're amazing, You're awesome, and then some other
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: people being liked all the ego, you're freaking awesome, and
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: you know, walking through all.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Pompous and stuff like that. That's what kind of what
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: flashes in my head.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: And it's like, that's not even the true story, not
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: for me, not coming from that space, but it's that's
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: a pattern. There's a thing a thought there that thinks, oh, well,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: if I'm doing that, then I'm coming from my ego,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: and it's like it's not ego, you know by how
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: it feels.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: So when you're in that mirror and cheering yourself on.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: For the day, like, man, you did such, you did
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: so many great things today and and yesterday, and you've
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: talked about it before, you know, reflecting on the things
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: that you've done that were good throughout the day. And
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I've seen these videos talking to kids like tell me
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: the great things that happen today. Because I'm even recognizing
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: within my own family some of the little ones might
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: be more on the negative side of and I say
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: negative side, noticing the things that don't feel good all
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: day long.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, you're all smiling and great, you are
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: you happy right now?
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: But such and such did this already at the age
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: of seven. So it's like there's there's things, and so
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: it's opportunities to show up for me to recognize how
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: that why it's shown it for me, what can I
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: do with this information, and then being able to kind
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: of mirror back, you know, different information or give a
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: different template, new patterns to the little ones that are
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: around me, so they don't have to carry this stuff,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: or at least they have because they have an option.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: They have the choice. They can either do it or
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: don't do it.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So when they're around, I just constantly reiterate in the
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: way that I show up so that they can learn
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: and do and be different. It's their choice, just like
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: it's my choice. And I realize, even being the adult
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: that has raised children that I thought I had control
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: over that.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: I never did.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I recognize I don't have control over them either. All
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I can do is be the best version of myself
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: that shows up every time.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'll tell you afterwards. So after I received
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: this one particular award recently, I've I've been in the
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: practice of receiving the main practice of receiving is saying
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: thank you, right, And so even in that experience of
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: the award, people coming up to me.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: I.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Felt my body kind of freeze, like, oh, and I
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: would say thank you, genuinely say thank you, but my
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: body was like this is not familiar, and and I
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: would I just I said thank you, because that's all
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I could do in that moment. Then later, because I
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: talked about a part of my speech was in receiving
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: this award was I talked about how I didn't want
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: to be on this planet. Not in those words, but
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I talked about that, and people coming up to say
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: thank or to congratulate me and say your speech resonated
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: with me, or I enjoyed your speech. All as I
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: could do in that moment was say thank you. Because
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I was in unfamiliar territory. This is new to me.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: So then later what I started thinking was, you know,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: you're pretty rude. You could have said, oh, what part
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: of your speech resonated with you and created a conversation,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: got to know this person and connected I am in
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: unfamiliar territory. I don't know how to be that person yet,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: but now that I have recognized so it the experience happened,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I thought about it later, and now when it happens again,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: if I'm in that kind of an experience, now I'll
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: remember connect, say thank you, and connect.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Each time it's a step, and each time I get better.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: That's what my entire life has been about. Okay, you
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: got to practice this for a while till you get
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: good at it, and then what's the next step. Well,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the next step is going to be create dialogue community Kate.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Connect with the person who is approaching me. If I
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: don't know what, I don't know, and if I don't
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: feel safe, I'm only going to do what it's gonna
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: keep me safe in that moment.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: And so when and I don't know what these people
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: think of me, you know, they come up and maybe
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: they're trying to connect with me, and all as I
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: can say is thank you, and they might have walked
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: away thought, wow, she's not very personal. You know, I
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: don't know. They could have I don't They may not.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but the fact that if they did,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: they're not in my body to know what I'm experiencing
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: in that moment to even be able to say thank you.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: But it's also recognizing at the same time that could
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: have been all that person could have handled was exactly
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: what you said, right, because there was nothing wrong. Because
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: sometimes people maybe it was enough for that person to
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: even be able to come up and say what you
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: saidd with me, So that might have been the biggest
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: part that needed to happen at that moment. But now
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: you know that you'll do something a little bit different,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: you know, from that perspective, from a growing perspective, but
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: everything as exactly as it should be.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, And coming back around that, I can still be
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: a cheerleader for myself to even have shown up in
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: that space, to have that experience and have these people
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: come up to me and compliment me and receive an
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: award in front of like a hundred people. You know,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: it's like you're learning and you're growing. Be proud of
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: yourself for that. So those maybe they may seem like
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: to you or the audience little steps, to me, it
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: was a ginormous step, you know. So it's like perspective, ye,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: And it's not for the people outside of me to
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: decide what that moment was like. It's for me to
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: be like, girl, you did a great job. Good for you.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: You showed up, you gave a speech. You know, you
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: receive compliments, you said thank you, like I did all
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: those things the best I could in that moment. And
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: and what I'm and I'm I'm saying these things because
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I want other people to recognize that in your in
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: your experience, you could be making huge steps. You got
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: to cheer yourself on. It doesn't matter what other people
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: are thinking or saying, right, it's your experience and if
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: you whether they're tiny, eaty bit steps or their ginormous steps,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: you have to cheer yourself on for the steps that
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: you're taking and the and the for the direction that
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: you're deciding to move in.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so awesome because you're cheering yourself on in
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: the mirror and then you're getting cheered on on the outside.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: So it's exactly what you were saying earlier. It's a
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: match to the energy, it's a match to what you're
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: putting out to the world. It's a match to how
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: you're treating yourself. It's all those things and how it's
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: shown up for you.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: And I know, right, and I'm an introvert by nature,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: so these are these are huge steps for an introvert
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: somebody who's an extrovert, they need to be like, oh,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: and they're just talk and they'll just do all the
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: things and things make us look so easy. But an
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: introvert not so easy. We got a lot of training
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: to do within ourselves to be that people person. In public,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: we're good one on one, we're good in private, but
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: when you put us in a group or in front
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: of people or the center of attention, that's uncharted territory,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: and we're not comfortable. And so these are for me
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: to even be where I'm at is those that's ginormous.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: That's like ginormous for me. And and people see me
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: who I am today, They didn't see me who I
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: was ten twenty thirty forty years ago. So I only
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: know my journey, and I only know the the hurdles
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: and things that I've accomplished and came over and went
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: through and all the things. Right, I know that everybody
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: else doesn't know that about me. Even the people who
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: think they know me don't know. Yeah, So I want
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: the audience to know that too. People don't know your story.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: People don't know the things that you've gone through mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: They don't know your story, and it doesn't matter how
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: much you try to explain your story to somebody, they
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: still will not get it. They will still not have
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: ever been in your body to have those experiences. It's
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: like trying to explain a wild dream to somebody and
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: there's no words to explain it. It's like people have
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: had near death experiences. They and the colors that they
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: see and the experience that they had. There's no words
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: to explain it in a way that would be as
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: meaningful and touch you the way it touches them or
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: the way it affected their life. There's there. They can't
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: there's no explanation for it in the human words. And
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: so it's the same with your own journey. Nobody will
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: ever ever ever understand. They may be similar, like Bev
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: and I have similarities, Yeah, and we can, we can.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: We can understand each other because of our similarities, but
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: neither one of us have had the exact same experiences.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: That's true.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: There's no way, it's not possible, right, Otherwise I'd have
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: to be you, you'd have to be me.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: There's I mean, it's just not I mean experience. Yeah,
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: we'll have.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: To rewind and switch. I don't know how would that work.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: I don't even know, because that would mean we'd have
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: to be living someone else's life the whole time and
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: never live our lives, even though I feel like in
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: a lot of ways we probably growing up being the chameleons,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: probably have lived a lot of other people's lives. Yeah,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: and not with our own life.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, So be your own cheerleader. Don't expect other
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: people to do it for you, and keep reminding yourself
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: that in this moment, I am safe and I am okay,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and keep doing your best.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So with that, friends, other people are thinking these things,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: having these conversations, probably in private. If you're an introvert
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: and you know, be resourceful. If these videos, content of us,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: other teachers, speakers, influencers are making a positive impact on
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: your life, then share it. Be resourceful. You can find
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Spreaker, Spotify, podcast, attic, and YouTube.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: So we are in many places. We are. We're I
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: feel like we're almost omnipresent. What do you think.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: I mean when you narrow it all down? Yes, exactly, all.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Right, friends, thanks for hanging out with us. Teach time
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: with Amy and babb, but we'll see you next time.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Bye.